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Objective_School_738 Archive

View 3 posts and 53 comments by Objective_School_738 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

The old emotional entanglement was why I’ve hesitated to block him for so long. I believe we’re trauma bonded but that trauma bond is no longer helping either of us to grow and heal. Reaching out after reflecting and processing is one thing like what I did to express my forgiveness. This contact attempt feels different and inappropriate though. The frequent LinkedIn profile views and now this is a bit intrusive.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 10:54 PM
10

You’re right. Username checks out. It was time to finally block him and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 05:51 PM
11

Clarification, this was his text message to me. I did not respond. I will not respond. In this case, I’m the one who got away because he picked someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 05:42 PM
3

I pay for LinkedIn Premium so it shows me who views my profile. If the other person doesn’t have Premium, I think it just says something generic like “Someone from XYZ Company viewed your profile.”
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 04:30 PM
17

Transparency and communication are big with my boyfriend so this is good extra step to include. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 04:21 PM
15

I like to think that man’s rejection is God’s protection. (Forgive me if you’re not religious/Christian) Nevertheless, I do think it crosses the line of emotional cheating and a little emotionally manipulative. He’s not saying sorry. Just dropping his burdens on me.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 04:10 PM
4

“Damn. Well I hope that you are enjoying life and are truly happy. I think about you a lot. I think it will be one of those things that I always will. I’ve tried everything to get you out of my mind. But nothing has seemed to work. I’ve gone to therapy to find out why you have this hold me and still no answers. I think I just have to accept that you will always be a part of my life. Which is not a bad thing at all. I know this is a lot but I’ve been holding this in for years and I can’t hold it …
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 03:25 PM
–

Correct me if I’m wrong but your post seems more like how to feel connected long distance. Do you have any favorite movies or show that you could watch together and have a chill night together? Do you have any hobbies that you share? Video games or phone games like Uno?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 11:32 PM
2

Just shows you’re not the problem and were never the problem. You have a heart that’s capable of love. I also genuinely wish all the best for my exes. I’ve never done anything spiteful after a relationship ended because hurting others doesn’t help me. Fine if I wasn’t the one for you but I do genuinely hope they find their person and I trust I’ll find mine. I know I won’t find my right person by holding onto the wrong person.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 06:11 PM
8

In my personal experience, hurt people hurt other people. He’s probably unhappy with his life and himself and trying to take it out on you. When he realizes you’re not paying him anymore attention, I feel bad for his next victim. Instead of taunting you, he needs to go work on himself. You’re holding out hope for someone who isn’t even willing to help himself. It’s sad but I’m proud of you for leaving him to figure it out and putting in the work to heal yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 04:41 PM
23

To protect your peace, maybe consider blocking him. It helps facilitate emotional healing, create necessary boundaries, and prevent negative or intrusive interactions that hinder personal growth and moving on from the past relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 04:24 PM
2

Etsy! Seamstresses will list modest clothing and linen items, but also be willing to make custom items if you buy the pattern for them. I’ve built some good relationships that way and even been given some discount codes to offset costs for being a good customer.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 06:34 PM
1

What comes after the plate role? I’ve vaguely heard of plate theory as like keeping options.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 02:44 AM
3

Is it the weather? It’s winter where I am so maybe he could benefit from indoor alternatives. You could model the desired behavior or even make it friendly competition. For at home workouts with no equipment, Nike Training Club has simple videos and also a companion running app. I’m not too sure why he’s following. Maybe ask him what he meant by that comment? Give him more opportunities to lead? There’s no one foolproof way that I can recommend.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 04:44 PM
14

I personally don’t believe in plastic surgery unless advised by a medical professional for health reasons. I also don’t subscribe to the theory of stretching or loosening with use. It might feel different after a baby or over time with body changes, but not regular sex. A large guy one time won’t stretch you out forever. That last guy was just insecure with his size and tried to put you down.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 04:39 PM
1

Interesting. Where was he exercising before? If a gym, does he still have the membership? Does your new place have a gym amenity? He could technically workout and watch movies at the same time still. Either at home workouts or set the phone on machine.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 04:15 PM
2

When you moved in, did you move into his space? If so, did you make any changes/take charge of anything like cooking or cleaning, etc? Also, what happened with his exercising? Was it gradual or sudden? What does he do now with the time he used to spend exercising?
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 04:01 PM
10

We were intimate after hanging out for 3 weeks and my second time sleeping over at his place. Before the intimacy, I was very vulnerable and let him know that I was worried he’d take me less seriously. He told me that intimacy wouldn’t change his opinion of me. Nevertheless, I still continued to worry myself to sleep but I felt reassured enough to be intimate the following morning. A month later, we became officially boyfriend and girlfriend. In my case, the commitment hinged on me taking down m…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 03:49 PM
–

That example was just tonight specific. I have already made a few comments over the last 2 weeks about how I don’t really like his lifestyle changes and how I think he makes too much money to be acting so cheap. He just shrugs it off. I’m not sure how to strike up a conversation and get him to actually discuss money mindsets.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/24 12:01 AM
–

The details are hard because it’s a bunch of small petty things. For example, he doesn’t want to go out as much so the plan was he’d come over to my place tonight and I’d make tacos. Well now he can’t come over because his old car is giving him troubles. I don’t want to have to drive there and cook and provide the meal. It’s giving me PTSD of a past relationship where I got used and overall giving me the ick.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 11:52 PM
–

The change that’s affecting the relationship the most is him tightening his budget and living extremely frugal. It’s like more dates at home instead of going out. Asking to use my car because he won’t fix his rust bucket. I will make him drive but I don’t see why he won’t just get a new car for himself. It’s especially odd because he just received his year end bonus as an attorney, but suddenly seems to want to spend less money even though he has more. Buying napkins over paper towels because he…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 11:49 PM
5

You’re not doing anything wrong. He’s just the wrong guy for you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 04:11 PM
9

I think y’all have different mindsets. I also think there’s plenty ambiguity between career woman and SAHM. I have a friend who started out as a SAHM, but recently ended up having to get a part time job at Starbucks to supplement her family income. That doesn’t make her a career woman and it doesn’t take away from her ability to stay home with her kids during weekdays while working evenings and weekends. If you want to just stay at home and never work again, you need to make that clear because t…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 04:03 PM
1

I don’t necessarily see it as a match of personality traits. Maybe attitude towards life or stages of life? I would recommend transformational leadership for the younger RPW who’s looking for someone to teach her about life. I think most RPW have the ideal of delegative or authoritative leadership, but I wouldn’t recommend this dynamic unless both parties are actually adhering to red pill theory. I would recommend transactional leadership for the RPW who’s already established in life, maybe a bi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 03:01 AM
23

It seems a bit overbearing/out of place for his mother to make her son sound so helpless. If he’s proven himself to be a capable provider, I’d disregard her comment personally. If he’s pursuing grad school to better himself so he can better provide for a future family, that’s leader potential. You being his motivation and support does not take away from him putting in the extra effort of going to grad school.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 10:40 PM
1

Agree 100%
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 09:06 PM
2

Those are the cities. Indianapolis is located in Indiana. Minneapolis is located In Minnesota. I haven’t lived in either personally so can’t recommend any specific suburbs.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 06:24 PM
5

I would suggest something in the Midwest like Kansas City, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Indianapolis, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:49 PM
3

I also have difficulty with conflict but there’s a time and place for everything. Just have to figure out what works best for him and yourself. It’s very awkward for me to just sit across from someone. For me, it helps to have these conversations outside of the home like maybe on walk through the neighborhood or park. Or sitting side by side on a bench at the zoo or museum. Sandwich in the difficult topic between something lighthearted so you start the conversation on a good note and end things …
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 04:08 PM
3

Respecting his boundaries is part of being a soft place for him. It involves understanding when to give them space and when to provide support, allowing them to navigate their emotions at their own pace. You can gently encourage breaks from the custody battle by facilitating breaks and planning activities that can provide a mental and emotional respite but be patient with his withdrawal as it’s likely a coping mechanism. Remind yourself that this too shall pass. It’s only temporary and it’s just…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 03:59 PM
7

How often do you sit down with each other on a date night or maybe around the dinner table to have honest communication? Do you both know what the other person needs and wants? Have you asked each other “What’s one thing I can do this week/month to help support you?” and then gave an honest answer. For example, maybe his love language is physical touch and he would feel appreciated by receiving a massage. As a compromise, maybe he can help you cook a meal together (or by himself but idk his cook…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 02:58 PM
10

Instead of deflect, you might need to model the desired behavior for her. Have you tried showing her something that your husband bought for you? You could say something along the lines of how thankful you are for xyz gift from him, just like how he got her the bike/nightsuit. It’s hard to change their little minds at that young age, but if already says she wants to be like you when she grows up, she might be willing to copy your gracious behavior. Also, you could try buying a separate, smaller g…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 12:53 PM
20

Instead of writing messages and calling him, get a journal to pour those feelings into. Incorporate some personal reflection questions into the journal. Slowly transition the focus to you! How can you make yourself better for when you reunite with him? Is it by going to gym? How about learning and practicing some healthy but filling recipes? Or maybe a little self care to improve your skin or hair so he’ll find you irresistible?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 12:00 AM
3

I wouldn’t necessarily consider it a red flag. I rather a man be upfront and honest, than too polite and lead me on. Also, I’m always prepared to pay for myself on dates. Maybe that way of thinking doesn’t settle well with you and it’s a yellow flag, but not inherently a red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 08:19 PM
3

If it involves another man (I assume he only accuses you of cheating with men), maybe try to make a conscious effort to bring it up first and run the idea by him beforehand if possible. I will even ask my significant other before meeting with the pastor alone. He’s never directly accused me of cheating, but he’s a bit insecure and will point out when other men look at me while we’re out.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 05:47 PM
3

When you have your conversation with him, make sure to communicate how that experience made you feel afterwards. Men sometimes respond better to emotional reasoning than logical. You can admit that it was exciting in the moment and you look forward to more of that when you’re married someday, while also acknowledging that you now feel very vulnerable without the security of commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 05:34 PM
4

Jasmyne Theodora
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 07:26 PM
3

That’s a good differentiation. There are also some trade/tech jobs that if started young enough, could result in a HVM in his mid-late 20s.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 04:27 PM
2

No offense but you’re outside of OPs age range. I can’t imagine a HVM in his 20s already giving up. That doesn’t seem very high value of him to give up before trying.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 04:01 PM
-1

If they’re not taken, I swear they’re hiding someplace. Maybe busy with investing and preparing for a future family? Maybe spending time with their immediate family and too busy being a good son/brother/grandson/nephew/cousin? It’s like the chance of finding one in the wild is a once in a lifetime opportunity
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 02:34 PM
–

It’s not healthy to walk around feeling like prey. As a sexual assault survivor, I needed therapy to stop the perpetual victim and weaker sex mentality. I’m not naive but I no longer walk around with constant fear. Yes, SOME men act entitled and I pray for no harm when I come across one of those.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 02:05 PM
–

Your one incident is valid but not indicative enough to say all men are entitled. One bad apple does not ruin the bunch. That’s like a man saying all woman are loose because of one incident with a woman throwing herself at him.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 01:49 PM
15

You’re making a lot of assumptions. Has someone actually said, “I feel entitled to you/your time and energy”? Let’s focus on YOU! Why do you feel so obligated to others? What boundaries have you set to protect yourself, your time and energy?
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 12:07 AM
8

Why do you assume that they’re thinking about sex? I used to be bothered by unwanted attention from strangers but I’ve had to change that negative viewpoint for my own mental health. Maybe they’re just friendly. Maybe seeing a pretty woman made their day. Whatever the case may be, it’s usually pretty innocent. A little smile is usually enough of an acknowledgment without encouraging engagement. Just take the compliment and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 11:25 PM
4

Find ways to spruce it up with your feminine energy. Some nice couch covers you could put over the old couch and throw pillows for comfort will go very far. For the kitchen shredder, use Brillo pads or steel wool to remove the rust. Hopefully he’ll appreciate the extra effort you put into respecting his old stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 03:38 PM
6

You need a better hobby than sex. Maybe go to the gym or try yoga the next time you’re overwhelmingly horny. Also, it seems a bit excessive. Are you sure you don’t have an unhealthy attachment to sex? Sex addiction is a sensitive topic and I’m not saying you are, but consider talking to a mental health professional please. My boyfriend and I only have sex like 2-3 times a week if we’re lucky and that makes it all the more special. If you’re just doing it out of routine, where’s the intimacy? Whe…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 03:50 PM
2

If you’re religious, pray for a more loving heart. Try to appreciate his open communication. By asking him to keep his comments to himself, you’re repressing him and basically saying that you don’t value his opinions. There’s an Elisabeth Elliot quote : “You marry a sinner. And you love, accept, and forgive that sinner as you yourself expect to be loved, accepted and forgiven.” If you’re not able to accept him as is, then move on.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 02:08 PM
1

Yes, I agree with incompatibility of general outlook/attitude.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 12:37 AM
3

Dates in public with activity like walking around. I don’t suggest the movies as a date until I’m comfortable with said person because some people use it as another place to make out.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 06:33 PM
1

How did you know your significant other was ready(cab light on)? Were there any signs early on that let you know y’all were headed in the right direction? I ask because I’m 4 months into a new relationship and it’s going very well so far. However, I have a mental clock that if we’re not engaged within 2 years, it probably won’t ever happen. Your engagement within 11 months is impressive and maybe I should be looking for signs instead of using a timeline.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 11:22 PM
3

He doesn’t seem to have any glaringly obvious search results. Public arrest records and any court cases would show up easily if checking for criminal past. You could pay to have a more thorough background search done, but that seems a bit much in my opinion. It also helps to Google yourself and compare the results. There’s some general information about everyone out there but if not much else shows up, maybe you both just value your privacy and that’s a possible green flag.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 05:13 PM
3

I like to exchange personal information early on for my personal safety. If you have their name, socials, etc. you can do a simple background search to vet them out. If you don’t like what you find online, I wouldn’t waste the time meeting in person. It’s also important for personal safety so that you share that information with a loved one or trusted friend. When I was dating in college, I’d ask to take a picture of the guys ID to send to my mom in case I ever went missing. I never had a guy sa…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 05:00 PM
5

I’m 25 and I’ve gotten tired of telling my life story to every new guy I talk to. I no longer divulge my past early on. It’s not necessarily lying but simply a boundary until trust has developed. Let them get to know current you before opening up about past you. The right man will understand and respect that boundary. In my current relationship, it took about two months before I initiated the relationship defining talk. I did it by asking if he could be my safe space. It was a talk to explain my…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 12:04 PM
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