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OkChocolate7617 Archive

View 3 posts and 61 comments by OkChocolate7617 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

I’m much like you, so I’m going to answer your question based on my experience. There’s no point in dating on OLD - the time spent talking to LVM is not worth your mental health and overall energy. BUT, don’t treat it as the only way to date. And don’t get pessimistic about dating, if you truly want to find a HV partner. Your attitude needs to be more about focusing on yourself and leveling up so that you naturally find yourself around HV people. So, spend some time understanding what you want i…
/r/askFDS28/09/21 04:08 PM
15

I agree with the others - your partner’s ambition matters a lot for your future. You have put yourself first, and that’s fantastic!
/r/askFDS15/09/21 02:06 PM
8

Yes to this all!!! Sending you a lot of good vibes to move through it all ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 04:56 PM
25

I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you and your attitude. The comments are so honest and just the kind of tough love I appreciate from this community. And you’re taking it with grace! I’m in a similar situation, where I know my worth and have walked away. But damn it hurts! You can have both emotions co-exist. Good on you for acknowledging the sadness AND holding strong in your values. The sadness comes in waves. I thank the emotions, write them down, and do my best to let them pass on their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 03:28 PM
22

Honestly, FDS should start its own magazine. Because magazines are propaganda, and the most popular ones out there are libfem ones that are making armies of pickmes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:26 PM
93

100% believe a man would say this and then go “oh hahah Freudian slip…. But what if…..” EW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:17 PM
125

Leave him sis. And find someone you don’t have to be suspicious about. They’re out there, I promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:27 PM
21

I agree with this. While it depends on the person, asking for space from you about something that could one day affect you (his family) indicates emotional walls and possibly trauma. Those are red flags, if he isn’t willing to heal from them and open up to you. You can’t have true partnership if he’s not willing to work on this. Plus him pinning it on you being unsupportive is a bit manipulative. He’s making you feel bad for wanting him to open up. He’ll pull this on you in the future, it’ll mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:47 PM
49

Holy shit, this right here is IT! I’m thinking about how I’ve felt every time a man pulls away or ghosts - I feel like it was me. I was too much, I need to change, be less. When the reality is, they probs did it so I could doubt myself. When you flip the script, you give yourself peace, while letting them realize that their tricks won’t work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:39 PM
5

I would go with (B). Even with kids, you are spending most of your time with the man, not his family. So you need a proper connection with him (which idk if you can get with A, considering you described him as bland). As for family, I believe most families are dysfunctional in some sense, and it really depends on how a man overcomes or manages his family. If he has high emotional intelligence and integrity, chances are his poor upbringing has only made him stronger. On the other hand, men who co…
/r/askFDS19/08/21 04:18 PM
37

Some tough love with the best intentions: if you keep waiting for slimy men to change, one day you’re going to wake up and realize how much time you wasted on someone else. This is time you could be using to find a group of strong women to bond with, to level up with, who will reciprocate your love (romantic love is not the only love you need). Time you could use to develop hobbies or passive income streams. Focus on yourself! If you want to be loved right, that starts with your own self-love.
/r/askFDS04/08/21 05:45 PM
27

This is so amazing!! Congrats on your accomplishments!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 10:43 PM
3

Your title says it all. You’re doing great and have taken the right steps forward. Everyone’s timeline is different. But the two things that are common: 1) time truly does heal and 2) you have to keep working at it for time to do it’s healing. And so, like the others have mentioned, I’d urge you to block him in every way. Seeing him or any sign of him will keep pulling you back mentally. Give yourself the best opportunity and tools to move on by first removing him as physically from your life as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 08:06 PM
5

THIS. This is a huge focus on my FDS journey. Not just observing how I make myself small, but also how do ppl react when I start speaking the truth about myself. It helps weed out LV people. Also, this is a great strategy to keep in check anyone putting you on a pedestal or idealizing you, who then completely change when you actually take that seriously and start putting yourself on a pedestal. Bc idealizing women like that is the most sneaky strategy LVM use to get in our good pages, but they d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:53 PM
50

Almost all men I know make misogynistic jokes, bc that is what they’re socially trained to do. Which is why I don’t fuck with them. I don’t congratulate men who don’t make these kinds of jokes/comments, but I acknowledge that they either grew up in an HV household or did the hard work of being self-aware to not be so influenced by today’s women-hating culture. Both good signs of a man that will remain HV for the rest of his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 03:07 PM
25

Unfortunately, this is common younger millennial and Gen Z speak. I had a male friend and he’d started calling me ‘ho’ casually. My retired pick-me self thought it was so cool, and I started calling him that too. Eventually he also starting using ‘slut’ and ‘whore’. Needless to say, he’s not my friend anymore, and I will never let anyone gaslight me into thinking it’s cool to call me derogatory terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:33 PM
32

Girl you are a queen, and you have your values right! I would call that pretty remarkable!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:03 AM
11

I always do this by default, bc if they can dish it out, they should be able to take it. I’ve had a few guys become visibly upset at a similar type of joke that they just made at my expense. Which also means that they think it’s okay to make you feel the way they feel at that moment. Or that you’re supposed to “take it” aka be a doormat. Those are the ones that become pretty unattractive when they do that anyways, so this is a GREAT way to vet. Also this post is a great reminder to not take it p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:53 PM
31

What I got from this series of events is that had she had more self-respect and put her needs first, she would have simply walked away within the first month or 2. This is why FDS emphasizes vetting. The only focus should be on YOU. And if you’re not getting your needs met, WALK. There’s no point in potential or box-checking, bc even someone who is perfect will change the minute they get comfortable around you. And when they show you who they are, believe them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 03:14 PM
2

Oh that’s right, thank you for correcting me. And yeah, still just as horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:21 PM
3

Seeing her laugh the way she did is so cringe. It’s so clear that she’s shocked, and you can almost see it in her fake laugh the mental barriers she’s putting up so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact that her man volunteered to go beyond a punch and RUN HER AND THEIR UNBORN CHILD OVER. Like ????? She knows she’s with an abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:15 PM
33

This is beautiful. In my head, I read it as if it was slam poetry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:01 PM
10

I like this a lot too. I have wasted way too much of my time trying to understand why all my exes did what they did. As simplistic as it sounds, it is correct and valid to say he’s just not that great. And move on. The entire burden of his behavior rests on him - nothing women do changes an LVM. So why bother trying to understand. I now focus entirely on myself. If a man isn’t up to par, he does not match MY expectations and has no place in my life. I think too many pickme’s fall into a cycle of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:28 PM
8

I’ve seen this often in work settings - when men repeat the same thing a woman just said and try to claim it as their own with 0 credit. But it’s considered a “microaggression” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:10 PM
21

Thank you for sharing...this is a red flag I’ve never seen before but I’ve experienced it (but also never put into words). It feels good to not be alone in this. I had an ex-friend who would show interest and and we would have great conversations. But then every time, we were in a group setting and a topic we had discussed came up, he’d talk over me and say the same things I had said to him. He basically stole my own opinions to make himself sound cooler. I used to get very sensitive about this.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:21 PM
4

I understand that you don’t know all the facts, hence your question. To answer your question, cut him off. To expand, what do you think will happen if you ask him? Do you think he’ll admit to paying for prostitutes? Do you think when he says it’s just dating apps, you’ll believe him? And even if you did, considering you asked this question and already have doubts about his character, do you see a good, balanced, respectful (from both sides) relationship? If you have doubts on any of these questi…
/r/askFDS21/05/21 02:47 PM
16

Same thing happened to me. His emotions are emotions but my emotions are over-reactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:13 PM
32

Oh my “comfort me over the consequences of my actions” is such a powerful and real way to describe what NVM do as a way to keep avoiding actual long-lasting consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:11 PM
1

If you block them, they cannot see anything on your profile. They might be able to see your profile ID, but clicking on it, it will take them to a blank page. Just make sure your profile is set to private, bc they can just google it and see the pics if you’re a public profile.
/r/askFDS13/05/21 12:59 PM
28

All of your LVX’s red flags are what I experienced in a guy (but he didn’t have nearly as many of the good qualities). I think the sensitive sadboi is on the rise, and it’s a really manipulative tactic. I saw that as a good thing - like oh, he’s in touch with his emotions, he’s healthily seeking to better himself through therapy. Turns out it was another indication of his narcissism, bc only his sadness mattered. Whenever I was sad, I got a 1-line of “you’ll be okay” “I believe in you”. Like ok,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:43 PM
3

I see you doing something I (and probably most women) do often. We tend to focus on the very things that will make us miserable or feel unworthy. After this comment, it’s very clear from his previous LTRs that he’s a LVM. But your mind decided to focus on only the aspects that would pull you down into this hole of thinking it was bc YOU were unworthy. You are worthy! And you sound awesome! I empathize with the way you think. And I hope therapy helps you figure out more about your triggers so you…
/r/askFDS08/05/21 02:46 PM
4

Hello I am you :) had a nvm friend that I thought cared so much bc he’d keep saying it. None of his actions reflected it though. He has a girlfriend he intends to marry (lol) but his texts to me were always sexually charged. Eventually, he asked for nudes. I still carry shame that not only did I share nudes (the pandemic had us all traumatized and bored - a very bad combo), but I must have done something to let him think it was okay to take advantage of and manipulate me. I had to block him ever…
/r/askFDS06/05/21 01:19 PM
5

👏🏻👏🏻 Your responses are awesome and a great example of what FDS is supposed to do. I’m glad you quickly blocked and deleted, and good luck on your FDS journey!
/r/askFDS05/05/21 02:13 AM
10

Your boundaries must be respected, especially when you communicated them very clearly. If he can’t bother to respect those online, he won’t respect them in person. Also, giving in to his ultimatum will make him think he can get away with anything. Block and delete. I’m sure you’ll find someone who can chat with you enough to make you feel excited and comfortable to then meet in person.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 02:25 PM
2

Fair enough! I think the knowledge gained from experiences like these is invaluable, but let me backtrack to say that I hope you find Mark is a consistent HVM and never (or less often) have to deal with all the other types of men you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 05:23 PM
3

This was such a fascinating, well-explained post! I love your awareness in each of the situations. Much too often, these subtle red flags, even with those who practice FDS, can go unnoticed bc it is so engraved in women that we have to keep trying. As if, by some miracle, the men will finally realize that they’re shit and actually change themselves so they’re not. I really enjoyed reading this, and you should do more of these case studies 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:30 PM
5

Good luck on phasing her out! It does suck, but the sense of peace is so great. And I take it as a form of self-care. Bc we all deserve the best people in our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:10 PM
6

The intention matters. If you share your trauma before you truly trust a person and do it non-stop, you might question why you feel the need to do that. It is a bonding experience, but it can result in even more trauma if it’s used against you in the future or if you’re not given the support you were looking for when you shared it. On the other hand, some narcissists will share their trauma to gain your trust and empathy to bind you in a toxic cycle. I had this done to me. I think the advice in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:37 PM
2

Yes, that will help loads! Out of sight really helps you focus on actually healing and moving forward. I wish you the very best! ❤️
/r/askFDS16/04/21 05:16 PM
2

I think the question for you is: do you want peace or some sort of drama/revenge? No wrong answer, it depends on you. But since we are on FDS, and we advocate for self-preservation and peace, I’m going to advise you to let it go. As for the how: go to therapy, journal, write these ppl letters of what you would say to them then burn them. Realize that you might have waves where you feel you’re over it and the emotions come back, that is okay. Stuff like this takes time to heal. Equip yourself wit…
/r/askFDS15/04/21 04:59 PM
2

I understand how you feel, and I’m sorry for what you’re going through. My brain is a mess whenever I compare myself to people. Realize that this feeling will come in waves over the years. Feel it for a little but. But then realize that you’re both on different journeys. You sound like you’re doing great! You’re on the right path education-wise and you’re career-path is a promising one. You helped him, and he helped you. In a few years, you’ll be in a great financial place. Just focus on that an…
/r/askFDS15/04/21 12:25 AM
5

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you’re distraught and emotional (and it’s okay to be!), that can cloud your judgment. In a situation like this, I recommend imagining your dearest girl friend. Imagine this happened to her, what would you tell her? If it were me, I’d hold my head high and walk out of this relationship because I KNOW I deserve better. That’s it. You deserve better. Don’t worry about finding anyone better (you know you will). The questions is: will you allow yours…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:59 PM
5

I believe and appreciate all of you. Thank you for being strong and sharing your experiences and thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:55 PM
108

Women wanting better lives: ANgRy BitCHEs Men doing the bare minimum and saying something in support of women (parroting exactly what women know and have said for years): Wow 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻give this man a Nobel peace prize, he really did that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:43 PM
117

Yeah soft-core porn is 100% a thing, especially for fake woke bois, who think they’re empowering women who willingly put their bodies on Twitter and insta. It’s a twisted mindfuck to understand what they’re doing and how casually they talk about this in every day conversations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:40 PM
5

Fair enough. In that case, I’m glad you’re aware enough about your shortcomings and are trying to level up healthily. I think it’s fair, then, to come from a place of self-care and tell your bf that you need to focus on yourself and you need to be alone to do that. Good luck!
/r/askFDS13/03/21 08:45 PM
9

Has your bf actually tried to talk to you about this more? How did he react when you shared this? If it was a bare minimum assurance (and you really need to understand what the bare minimum is...if all he says are 1-2 lines of “I love you” “there’s nothing to worry about” etc, that’s the very least effort he can put in and is not, in fact, doing his best), you don’t need an explanation. Just say you’re not compatible. Then move on, go to therapy, and heal. I’m not saying he’s responsible for you…
/r/askFDS13/03/21 07:44 PM
46

This hits home in a very heartbreaking way. I’m very much against #notallmen, but there used to be a time when I would hear out guy friends when they would explain it, and I’d try to police my language and tone the next time I mentioned all men. Then I realized this is yet another way I’m manipulated, while they can boast about being fake feminists/allies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:34 PM
33

I’m interested to see what others have to say. I’m personally already v disillusioned, but the good thing is it comes in waves. Last year was really bad bc BLM brought out the worst performative allyship, and it was v triggering. What helped was 1. Taking huge chunks of breaks from social media. Temporarily deactivate accounts if you’re addicted. 2. Finding a few people you trust to spend time with (helps if you don’t talk about anything negative and try to just focus on positively being present…
/r/askFDS12/03/21 05:10 AM
26

I was just thinking about this today! That there are so many men who love to talk, but it’s just empty words. Even when they’re given a chance, they can’t show with actions that they actually care. Because they don’t actually know how to be allies or support and uplift women. They are a mirage and trap HV women who don’t know better until they’re too deep into the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:12 AM
62

I’ve been in academia, and it is unfortunately filled with NVM. I know quite a few abusive and sex-obsessed men currently trying to continue in academia. Institutions only care if you’re bringing in money/funding. A lot of these NVM are capable of doing the bare minimum and staying in professorships (or worse getting tenure). Makes me shudder to think of all the students they will prey on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:47 PM
6

Yeah that’s rough. No one is gonna change their opinions and that’s just how it is. I’ve learned to be okay with that. And I got through my situation and moved on to a job with a fantastic supervisor. I wish you good luck!
/r/askFDS10/03/21 03:02 AM
15

I’m sorry about your situation and sending you some good vibes. I have had someone like this, except this guy had managed to make a great career so even if I tried to tell anyone that I’m undervalued or undertrained, they wouldn’t believe me nor care. Here are my suggestions: if you can leave, that’d your #1 option. If that’s not possible (or at least, not right away), then I’d consider coming up with a list of things you’re having issues with/want improvements on. See if you can have a decent t…
/r/askFDS10/03/21 02:50 AM
1

I’m sorry, you deserve better! If your friend was so easy to poison, you will be better off without her. This is simply making room for better people to come into your life. They were probably holding you back this whole time anyway. Time to live your life!!
/r/askFDS09/03/21 12:28 AM
6

I’m happy for you sis! I hope your relationship continues to be wonderful, and you continue finding him to have HV qualities. Also this is a nice list of qualities for others to look out for in a suspected HVM. Gives me some hope :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 07:25 PM
17

This is a very personal question and very inappropriate to ask someone you just started texting, especially if this is one of the first things he asks. Sounds like he doesn’t have a good idea of boundaries, which means block and delete.
/r/askFDS22/02/21 07:46 PM
2

Good questions to consider, thank you for the link!
/r/askFDS21/02/21 05:43 PM
2

Okay, this is actually a great measure. I clearly overthink, and it's as simple as trusting all the times it's gotten me out of bad situations before (and the opposite when I didn't listen to it).
/r/askFDS20/02/21 10:34 PM
6

Damn, you're right!
/r/askFDS20/02/21 04:43 PM
8

Start with a setting you're most comfortable with. I started masturbating in bed at night, in the dark, because it helped me tune in and focus on my pleasure. I would picture scenarios, whatever turns you on. Get naked and touch the rest of your body, if that helps. No shame in turning yourself on! Also, although I'm not a fan of Goop, their Netflix documentary show has an episode on women's pleasure. Watch it, and start getting get comfortable with your own body. You should look into Smile Make…
/r/askFDS20/02/21 03:56 PM
10

lol at firing him. Yes he has a job, but he seems very uninterested in it. I thought it's fine, bc everyone has trouble at certain jobs. But I realized I'm making excuses for him. So you're right, I'm not being authentic to myself in this situationship at all.
/r/askFDS20/02/21 02:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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