Hello ladies! I've seen numerous posts asking what to look for and where to meet HV people (friendships or romantic) so I thought I would help break it down into a post.

🚩Red flags 🚩:

🚩They talk about themselves a lot. They talk about how good of a person they are or the people they know are. They talk about that they are so nice or kind or how charitable they are. (A person who does real charity will rarely bring it up unless they are a head organizer and that's their job or something).

🚩They talk about their background and the horrible things that happened but they've made it so far. A HV person will never lead with their traumas and some will only say when they REALLY trust you after like 5 years. Even then, they never say the full story.

🚩They ask you how much things cost or bring up price often. If they complain about how much a restaurant costs or make a fuss... A HV person will not make a fuss. Romantic: A HV person will ask questions as they get to know you so that you both can gauge what is comfortable for you (if you are only used to $5 meals and you suddenly go to a $500 three-course restaurant, that can be some whiplash, lol). Friendships: They will pull you aside to explain her financial situation, briefly, and suggest other options that are more affordable to both of you when you split the bill, if you do. You should also make sure that outings are affordable and not always leave it up to them.

🚩They gossip. A HV person rarely gossips and if they do, it is absolutely necessary so that neither of you will embarrass yourselves. Ie. If someone's child failed out of school and they know, they will tell you in private so that you won't go up to that person and ask them or their parent how school is going.

🚩They don't care to let you speak. A HV person wants to have a conversation, not a therapy session. If they are constantly ranting or venting, it is downhill from there. (Bonus Edit: If they insult you or bring up your weakest moments, that is not high value).

✅Green Flags✅:

✅They support you in your decisions. They want to be there rooting for you. If they cannot physically be there for you, they will either send their regards or make it up to you somehow. They are excited with you in your successes and comfort you in your failures. Someone who thrives in your failures and is 'meh' in your successes is not HV, probably envies you, and you should get out of there fast.

✅They observe what is going on around them. Diving headfirst into the shallow end of the pool causes disasters. A HV person assesses a situation before they get wrapped up in it. Including entering into a new relationship (friendship, romantic, business, etc).

✅They don't know everything. A confident person will admit to not knowing everything. An unconfident person might try to lie so that they can fit in.

✅They grow up. As they go through life, they mature. They are not perpetually stuck at one age trying to relive the glory days.

✅They are authentically themselves. A HV person lives life as themselves because who else would they want to be? They have their own interests, hobbies, and can make basic to large decisions on their own. They might occasionally ask you for input but that is only to make sure their decision is fully fleshed out and not rash.

Where to meet them:

One of the reasons why schoolchildren are so good at making friends is because that is all they have to do. They go to school and come home. They are too young to really start to develop their own interests. If school is the only qualification to having friends, that is why they have 30+ people at their birthday parties.

As we get older, forced environments and our interests or hobbies cause us to maybe not have so much in common with others. With that being said, there is no end all be all for where you can find HV people, but you can help narrow it down for yourself.

🧠Suggestions🧠:

🧠Bumble BFF: You can narrow people down by age range, location, and more and start to talk to people to find out what their likes and dislikes are. (I met a really good friend on there and know others who have as well).

🧠Hobby Groups: You like birds? You like knitting? Go join a hobby group. HV people are not waiting around to be picked; they are living their lives. Who knows maybe you meet someone there who introduces you to a single HVM. (That probably should not be your goal in joining the group tho).

🧠Airport Lounges: Hit or miss. Some could want friendship, some could want a 'companion' in your city for business trips, some you could network with and it could end up really awesome! Be careful in there.

🧠By living your life: If you want to go skiing and none of your friends do, go skiing because everyone you meet there likes to ski. If you want to go to X concert but none of your friends want to, go to the concert. Everyone there likes X. You need to live your life, travel, take a leap of faith and you will meet more people. As you continue, you can easily differentiate the real HV from the fake HV (aka posers).

Some of the mentalities you might have about meeting a HV person still lie in the Pick-me camp that one day someone will notice you from afar and it will be magical from there. One of the worst things is meeting a HV person but you have notttinnnnggg in common or you are not ready yet to experience what they have to offer. That relationship is going to lead nowhere. So get ready by starting to live an authentic life because then you will meet the HV people you want on the way.

Learn to love yourself first and the rest will come naturally. You can do this!