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laffytaggy Archive

View 40 posts and 884 comments by laffytaggy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
567

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:01 PM
411

MINDSET SHIFTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 07:26 PM
406

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:00 PM
350

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:59 PM
294

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:19 AM
274

ROAST-A-SCROTElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:24 PM
272

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 01:37 PM
233

RANTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:24 PM
198

ROAST-A-SCROTElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:55 AM
157

FDS SUCCESS!laffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:44 PM
144

RANTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:26 AM
126

RANTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:29 PM
122

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:55 PM
119

RANTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 04:56 PM
115

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:52 PM
78

ROAST-A-SCROTElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:32 PM
72

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:13 AM
66

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:24 AM
58

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:42 PM
52

laffytaggy/r/askFDS21/05/21 03:06 AM
47

laffytaggy/r/askFDS08/06/21 05:15 PM
45

ROAST-A-SCROTElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:37 AM
35

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:23 AM
34

laffytaggy/r/askFDS07/08/21 10:31 PM
32

laffytaggy/r/askFDS04/07/21 04:22 PM
21

MALE DEPRAVITYlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 04:32 PM
16

laffytaggy/r/askFDS14/05/21 07:45 PM
14

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:12 PM
14

laffytaggy/r/askFDS08/05/21 01:32 AM
8

MOOD FOR LIFElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:52 PM
4

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 01:56 PM
3

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:38 AM
3

MALE DEPRAVITYlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:53 PM
1

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:13 PM
1

FDS RESCUE MISSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:47 PM
1

RANTlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:42 AM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTElaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:16 PM
1

LIES MEN TELLlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:54 PM
0

laffytaggy/r/askFDS05/08/21 03:22 PM
0

DISCUSSIONlaffytaggy/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:03 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
29

I was thinking this too, he’ll wise up for the next woman now that he knows. I never told my ex my reasons for breaking up with him because he is smart enough to use that info when faking it with his next victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 08:08 PM
11

Wrong. They want you to provide services and shut up. Hence, youth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:57 PM
23

Hmm my ex also rented out his properties and mentioned a problematic couple was due to the complaining wife. He said the guy seemed nice. I never checked him on this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:49 PM
2

Yeah I definitely don’t flaunt and even withhold details of my life because I know how it can come across. For example: she talks about people she knows that are doing well bc they make six figures etc (I am a lawyer and def have made that for years now, but I would never mention that to her).
/r/askFDS08/08/21 03:13 PM
15

Yesss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:11 PM
27

Yep. I remember the hotel staff warned my friend and I to leave super early and bring plenty of water when we mentioned doing the hike. We of course didn’t hit the trail until last 10am, and it was a dumb idea, but we at least had water and were both very physically fit. I agree, no way would a local officer not know this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 10:32 PM
24

Lol good point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 10:11 PM
29

And this is Arizona in the summer…and in the afternoon! I hiked that mountain they did and I am fit, but it it was still brutal due to the heat and we went fairly early in the morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 10:03 PM
18

I’ve done this too, particularly about age. Most men take that as a guessing game or a problem solving puzzle. It’s insane. I even had encounters with random married men and they do the whole “oh when did you graduate thing” to try and figure it out. I always answer vaguely and I can see the look of failure on their face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:59 PM
2

I know. It’s awful. He allegedly let her walk back alone and didn’t even pack water for this hike. I’m a hiker and hiked that mountain in Phoenix before, I know it’s brutal in an afternoon summer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:28 PM
18

Thanks!! This helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 02:08 AM
11

Okay thanks! I’m somewhat familiar with it, mostly from reading books on abuse. I’ll try this. Hopefully pretending someone does not exist will train my brain to no longer even notice them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:56 AM
35

Thanks! So fortunately i don’t have to have meaningful interactions with this guy, but I will see him most days of the week (just in passing/same space). It’s almost like because I know he is there, I kinda subconsciously scan the room looking for him or I’ll notice him right away when he’s in my line of sight. I truly want to forget his existence and I think at least faking that he does not exist would be a good start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:48 AM
1

I probably do on some level. I need to knock it off. Crushes are pointless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:12 AM
3

Thanks. This is so true. My ex lovebombed me. I pretty much stopped dating after meeting him, and it was a horrible decision. I am super isolated, and it is dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 12:18 AM
6

True! Thanks for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 10:32 PM
6

I meant i want to break the ice because of our hobby. I won’t approach him or anything tho. We share an environment 4 days out of the week and its just too awkward now. He literally watches me, even when I talk to other guys. Most of the people there I gave met already, women too. So i know eventually we’ll talk too. As far as romantic interest? I’m not feeling him because I like guys that go after what they want :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:48 PM
8

Thanks! I am not chasing him. He actually just kept looking at me from the moment I joined and guess I thought he would approach by now. I do want to break the ice tho because its uncomfy now and have to see him many days of the week!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:05 PM
27

Agreed. Is it weird I can’t even smile at him bc be won’t like lock eyes…he looks away if I see him. I’ll try today I guess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 04:08 PM
53

Yea I think he likely thinks I’m out of his league. Esp since taller men have been approaching me in his presence. But little does the shy guy know I find him most attractive. BUT you’re right, he could also very well be in a relationship or other reasons as you stated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 04:07 PM
40

Well he looks at me from across the room kinda thing, esp when he thinks I can’t see him. When I am actually nearby, he acts like I’m invisible lol I am still fairly new, so I know I’ll eventually “formally” meet him as the organizers do promote a nice community environment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 03:12 PM
80

Yes! I am tired of the first guy lurking around and watching me…just feels awkward now and we don’t even know each other!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 03:07 PM
2

They think it’s being flirty or romantic. And if you smile back, it means you want them sexually. SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:37 AM
3

Hot men? Lol you know it has the nickname of “ugly Hollywood” because it’s about where you work/who you know..but in politics and the people are generally considered unattractive. The men are short in DC and I did not find them attractive overall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 10:57 PM
22

Right. My friend talks about her new BF that she loves, yet still updates me on her situationship ex that she continues to talk on the phone with. She had the nerve to send me a text about the ex when he had a family emergecy… girl, I never met him, he played you, and why are you disrespecting yoursef and your new man to play therapist for that scrote? This is a 40+ year old woman. Ans she definitely thinks she’s a “cool girl.” Call me uncool, but block/delete is the best thing I’ve learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:31 PM
51

Lol yeah I didn’t interpret it until I found FDS and then went on a series of first dates. I really didn’t have to even use my brain to vet…these guys might as well had their tongues out. When I reflect back, nearly every guy I have ever gone out with did this to me (some would glance over my body any chance they got) and over compliment me on the physical stuff. But a few men never did this, so that gives me hope. I just think an HVM displays constraint and makes sure to be composed and present…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:46 PM
12

OP, I used to live in DC. I also think DC is such a transient city and many men do not feel the need to commit there. I moved to another state I desired to live in and the dating was actually worse lol! I met much more attractive men in my new city but they were just a different breed of f-boys. I understand you’re not moving for men. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:35 PM
18

I traveled through Italy once and toured the Vatican, a holy place, solo … and was harassed by multiple security guards there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:30 PM
259

What about the creepy grin? It happens on most of my first dates actually, I can tell the guy is looking at me with sexual thoughts in his head because he isn’t engaged in what I am saying. He just sits there with this mischievous grin on his face and it makes me so uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:22 PM
61

Maybe she is just informing the girl so she learns from the experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:20 AM
38

Same or I just attracted shitty behavior. But like you said, it’s just shitty options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:19 AM
9

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:13 AM
25

I think anyone that needs an explanation once I set my boundary is problematic. I notice people will analyze my boundaries (“oh you won’t do x, but you do y”). I don’t even respond to such people anymore. Respect the boundary or get out of my face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 05:54 PM
43

One thing I want to comment on is about your break up regrets after joining FDS. I can relate. When I read FDS posts, it makes me think that my exes were not bad at all in comparison. The stories on here can seem extreme to someone who has been in relationships with mild problems at most. But that doesn’t mean that your ex/bf is right for you. I realized my exes are still LVM or just not right for me..shining among a sea of trash is not enough. I wanted to make a post about this topic, for women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:58 PM
5

Yep. I make about $20k more than him and no way could I comfortably/responsibly buy an $80k truck. I am looking to buy a new car atm and the one I want is $45k and that is still a lot to me! But my housing expenses are also high bc of my high COL city ($2500/month).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:33 PM
8

Lmao!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:26 PM
14

I dated a guy with multiple millions, I confirmed it and saw his portfolios myself. The most he spent on me was probably $15 (thai meal)? He was incredibly cheap and told me he would stay at hostels or at campgrounds when vacationing. He also thought engagement rings were a scam and lived in alarming neighborhoods. I now could care less about a man’s net worth if he is a major cheapo. Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:25 PM
10

Yeah ugly men can’t accept that they should be with their equal in the looks department lol. Their standards son’t match their reflection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:32 PM
8

Lol same! The hottest guys I knew were the most complimentary, making think I was absolutely perfect in their eyes. The ones that hurled insults, definitely the flabby uggos I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:30 PM
12

I mean she could be black tho?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:27 PM
36

Ugh even the ones that lift weights are jokes lol. I am a weight lifter and the men in my gym look strong but their minds are still weak!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:25 PM
53

I kind of agree. I’m tall, slim and usually turn heads when I walk out the house. But I think I’m more of a target because of it. Most men approach me with a chip or something to prove. They assume the worst in me, it seems. These aren’t the days of men wanting to cherish or uplift a woman they desire. Honestly, my friends that are less conventionally attractive seem to have an easier time finding men with good intentions. I feel like the higher attention I get just makes me dodge more men bc mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:21 PM
4

Or “I would rather cook a meal than dine out.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 09:03 PM
3

I have seen gym dates suggested on dating apps, smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 09:02 PM
22

My ex was an avid user of meetup groups when I first met him. When we broke up, I looked up his profile and saw he started going to them again. He is a cheap slimy kinda guy that sounds good on paper so I am afraid women would fall for him if they met him at such events. Your assessment sounds spot on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:58 PM
12

I love her stuff and relate to her as a daughter of immigrants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 03:06 PM
2

The crazy thing is I range from size 2-4 and get called big because of my height (5’9). It used to annoy me but whatevs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:34 PM
22

This has happenes to me several times but I always search men before meeting them, and learn that they are lying about their age. I report them on dating apps. And often times, they would still be within my set age range, but lying is the dealbreaker. I find A LOT of 40+ men so this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:35 PM
2

Eh I’m in my 30s. Only twice has a man insulted my height..but bc they were rejected. One shorter guy told me I should be with a short man, not a tall guy because If I have daughters, they would then be too tall. Another shorter guy simply said I was too tall and being a short woman is better bc men prefer them. Lol thats about it. I have been referred to as “big” or “large” and things like that, which annoys me because I am very slim with a BMI of 19. This mostly comes from other women that are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:45 PM
11

I always found that bizarre but seems like a very popular reaction in my former friend group. I would feel too weird not acknowledging something someone bas shared with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:11 PM
14

True! Anytime someone is telling me about something and I want it, I tell them I’m motivated and ask for suggestions/tips, if applicable. But i am someone that actively works on my jealous reactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:08 PM
11

What’s with people that don’t want to hear your good news or act like they cannot hear it or seemingly did not process it? Just trying to understand it, psychologically. Is their failure to acknowledge it a defense mechanism?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:05 PM
39

I felt this too. I would not volunteer details or info about your life with her. She seems comparative and unhappy, which is a bad combo in friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:03 PM
3

Ha I feel like I strut too. And sometimes I wonder if I should just walk more sloppily when i notice I command attention..but nah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:00 PM
5

I was never criticized for being tall but coming here made me realize it was not an asset for many. Sure, a couple times, a short guy has made a comment that I am “too tall.” But usually my height and long legs are praised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:55 PM
6

I am 5’9. In places like NYC and LA, I feel very normal since models are usually much taller. However, in my city and many others, I do stand out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:53 PM
15

I am your height. My petite mom would always encourage me to wear heels because she finds tall women so beautiful. When I got into fitness, my posture improved and I now look even taller. I love it and I draw attention wherever I go and get told I look like a model. Tall, short, and in between..own your temple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:52 PM
5

Yea I get this. To the core. I’m angry too and feel like I lost my innocence. But with that comes this insane amount of confidence I never had and never believed was possible for me! It is seen and felt by others, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:13 PM
57

Great post. I almost posted a question on here because I was questioning whether a relationship “tactic” was morally corrupt or not. And it was simply entering a relationship that would fulfill my needs while leaving my partner in the dark about what it is I truly want out of the relationship. Then I realized that is basically how most men operate, as well as the women I know that ended up in fulfilling relationships. So, I got my answer. Do you, ladies. Put yourself and your needs first. Otherw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:04 PM
8

I have a friend and her little sister is like this. Mid 30s, never held a stable job, alcoholic, LVM addict, and terribly abusive to her parents. I feel so bad for the family and my friend feels like there is nothing to do to improve it as she has tried to get her help for the last several years, to no avail. My friend has been deprived of a functioning relationship with her parents bc her sister dominates their time, energy and focus..they are just frazzled by this, as they are very loving peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 01:10 AM
8

LOL yes!!! Story of my life. Or when the substitute teacher would get to your name during roll call… and there would be a long pause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 05:31 PM
50

Yes me too!! I always thought I looked weird or different because of my thin/long face, high cheekbones, thick hair, and ambiguous ethnicity. Well, now people contour for such features. I also had a “weird” foreign name. Such is cool now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:44 PM
15

This is soo true. I know a guy that is below average looking but is a high earner (not tall, very thin, and balding). But he likes hot women only. He gets dates but these women are usually destitute and likely into him because of what he can provide. He still struggles with getting women despite his finances. He’ll comment that hot women don’t talk to him. Yet if I pointed out an average woman that seemed interested in him, he would cringe. Those women were often times still better looking than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:05 PM
66

Yes same. We should pitch a TV show idea for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:59 PM
204

I think many men don’t even know why they have these preferences..but like them because other men do or because it’s trendy. Coming from a once small-butt woman who now has a big booty due to becoming athletic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:58 PM
20

The guy’s response was so close…but for the part to elaborate, tho he probably wouldn’t advise to just block/delete/exit. So, still kudos to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:55 PM
47

Best fairytale ever lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:46 PM
34

Ah good for you! Where did you meet your hubby if you dib’t mind me asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:45 PM
27

Oh man. I would have been saddened. I once cried when I saw a squirrel refuse to leave it’s dead companions side on a road. The squirrel would run off when a car approached then return and just sit by it’s friend. RIP turtle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 08:35 PM
14

Just wanted to say: I hear you. I sometimes delay repairs for this very reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 08:25 PM
7

Yeah and tbh I was throwing him a bone bc he seemed interesting but was shorter and skinnier than I generally prefer lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:02 PM
3

Great question!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:41 PM
10

LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:29 PM
11

Seriously. It’s pretty ridiculous and oblivious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:16 PM
24

Lol I took even longer to respond but agree with the rest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:56 AM
19

But heights?! On a first date? Smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:55 AM
1

Yep. I love it despite hating it ..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 10:56 PM
18

Same! I told my mom that one day and she said you will NOT be cooking and serving your husband (despite me growing up seeing her do that).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:32 PM
4

Thanks! I mean I get dinner dates from men I meet IRL but with OLD, it is super rare for a man to ask me to dinner off the bat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:28 PM
11

Yeah I guess she faces a lot of men that want dates in the bedroom..her point was she wants men who want to actually hang out with her. Just super low expectations. It made me question if my standards are too high since I do get offers for drinks, hikes, coffee, ice cream etc..everything but dinner essentially. And I agree. I’m super athletic. In the past I have biked, worked out, hiked with men but it was once we were established and comfortable with each other and no longer in the courting sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:33 PM
13

Haha totally. My aesthetician was complaining that men won’t go on bike ride dates bc they aren’t interested in daytime activities 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 12:09 PM
3

ITA! Love how you articulate this. This year I got back into dating but did not go on many second dates and it was a self-protective thing. I could not articulate why I do not want to multi-date with men I do bot want a LTR with. But your response captures my feels so well. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:15 AM
9

The thing I notice is that many women do genuinely like nature walks/hikes so they don’t see the issue. I love hiking too. My friend was surprised when I said I am anti walk/hike dates since I am outdoorsy. I told her that isn’t really the point, but that a guy that suggests something like that for a first date is unlikely to have good or serious intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:07 AM
52

The thing I notice is that many women do genuinely like nature walks/hikes so they don’t see the issue. I love hiking too. My friend was surprised when I said I am anti walk/hike dates since I am outdoorsy. I told her that isn’t really the point, but that a guy that suggests something like that for a first date is unlikely to have good intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:07 AM
13

😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:00 AM
26

I didn’t wear my make up until late in life. Now I dabble in a little bit. Nothing has really changed about me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:57 AM
1

Lol thanks. I will try it. What do I have to lose? Nothing!
/r/askFDS04/07/21 10:17 PM
52

Yes! You know what’s sad? I didn’t even realize or value her views until FDS. I remember a couple years ago we visited my cousin who had a baby with her live in BF (he still hasn’t proposed, they just had a second kid) and my cousin was cooking and serving her BF when we arrived. Later my mom was upset about it, saying she should not be cooking for this guy who isn’t even her husband. She also didn’t like that he wouldn’t give her a ring despite my cousin wanting to be a wife. I didn’t get it th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:28 PM
7

Thanks lady! :)
/r/askFDS04/07/21 08:03 PM
6

I do the same! I avert my eyes when I notice a cute man is looking at me. I still feel like the shy school girl I guess. My friends think I’m too reserved but I don’t know if I can change my personality type, or if I even want to! I am challenging myself to look back at men and smile if I find them attractive. I did it in the past and it was successful a couple times, but I have to be mindful about it, otherwise I go back to aversion.
/r/askFDS04/07/21 08:03 PM
16

I totally agree. It’s not a traditional gym either, it’s a training type of studio for more skilled athletes so men generally do not ask women out in this space. At my old gym, the only couples that formed were when there were outside activities (like a game night at a bar where lots of members attended or a BBQ). I can see him not even asking for my # if I do smile and he approaches. I just want to talk to let him know that he can break that barrier and at least talk to me so we can be friendly…
/r/askFDS04/07/21 07:57 PM
25

My mom told me the same thing re my dad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:49 PM
2

Good point. If he is willing to lose a chance with you, he probably won’t be willing to put in the work to keep you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:40 PM
74

Yay!! Good for you! I’m kinda where you are. I don’t tolerate shit anymore and put up boundaries, when I previously had none. So far, I haven’t been yelled at like you (I love how you stand your ground) but I have been tested and people have been trying to manipulate me. It’s shocking to realize I was always manipulated before but just played into it. People think I’m being “aloof” or “MIA” but I’m simply putting me first. A friend that aways treated me like an airbnb host sent me a message sayi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:33 PM
44

Man I did this alll the time! I could have been a playwright the way I would change the narrative with LVM to allow me to continue living in denial. Never again. I used to envy my childhood best friend. From 18-35 she has never been single for more than a few months. While I was mostly single and did not enter my first relationship until 28. I wondered why it was so much easier for her to find a partner. But now that we’re all well into adulthood, she is learning that her foundation is so fragil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:09 PM
6

Aw that’s so sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:06 PM
46

Right, they talk about the success of arranged marriages. But how are we measuring success?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:03 PM
121

I am of a similar culture. I would never marry someone of my culture who still has those expectations. Even my mother encourages me NOT to. She is quite traditional but encouraged me to get a degree and marry someone self sufficient. She cringes when she sees women of my generation still doing all the things she/her peers do for their spouses (particularly the cooking). She wants better for me and the next generation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:02 PM
8

Yeah, it’s so weird. Like I want certain men to approach but then I get so weird about it then want to be invisible when they do take notice. But I have to put my big girl pants on and face the uncomfortableness of it all. I’m not afraid of them not approaching, I’m actually more afraid of them approaching even tho that is what I do want deep down inside. I’m an introvert so it is all scary to me. It’s rare that I take notice of a man. Thanks, lady!
/r/askFDS04/07/21 05:36 PM
14

Thanks!! 5 seconds feels like eternity to me lol
/r/askFDS04/07/21 05:10 PM
15

Ok cool, thanks! That’s what I was looking for. I suck at the contact, I quickly look away bc I am so internally shy about that stuff. I want to work on that tho, so I’ll look at this as practice!
/r/askFDS04/07/21 05:04 PM
16

Lol so that leaves the weirdos. Seriously. I am in my 30s, never has a normal man approached me. The only men I have dated/met IRL are the guys who have an “in” - mutual friends or some environment where it’s safe for them to talk to me (friends bday, conference etc).
/r/askFDS04/07/21 04:50 PM
10

Thanks! Not even a quick smile? I get told I am intimidating alllll the time. I have been told a lot of men were hesitant to approach me because they think I’m out of their league, so only the weirdos actually approach me. Even my ex that I met on an app said if we met IRL he would never ask me out bc I come across as aloof and disinterested (which is weird bc I thought he looks better than me.) My female friends say the same too, that I seem like I have everything so together. It’s lonely when …
/r/askFDS04/07/21 04:44 PM
1

Good question! I just moved and joined a new community type of gym facility (think something along the lines of rock climbing) and this cute member there seemed taken aback when I first came in. He kept looking at me and we did lock eyes a couple times.. In the past, I would get shy and weird so men think I’m aloof. But now that I want to put myself out there, I would love for him to introduce himself and chat me up. I plan on giving him a smile once to let him know I’m intrigued, esp because we…
/r/askFDS04/07/21 04:13 PM
1

That’s nice. BUT I had a similar experience with an ex. He had a hurt knee and put on some weight. I commented on it and he thanked me too. He said he likes that I keep him motivated and that my own consistent fitness motivates him. The very next day he woke up early to work out and then in a matter of weeks, he was back to his regular self. He was still a LVM that jerked off to pics of random women tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:02 PM
14

This ice cream thing seems to be a new trend. I take my niece our for ice cream and usually after we do something fun like get food, go to a zoo, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:00 PM
-18

My guy friend who was pursuing me had moved and was assembling a desk when I stopped by. Man what a turn off lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:43 PM
1

LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:39 PM
17

Lol she sounds awesome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:46 PM
49

You handled that well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:43 PM
25

How are they not disturbed by eating a steak when their companion is eating a side dish? I’m vegetarian and have dietary restrictions and my dates always make sure I am satisfied with what I have ordered..bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:43 PM
17

Yeah I knew one of those guys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:32 PM
38

Lol I deleted old convos too. But when I was on my macbook recently I saw an old convo on my imessages…man oh man..I was pathetic lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:26 PM
39

I’m going to stop doing that. Pre FDS I would praise men when they showed basic human decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:23 PM
3

I recently canceled in a guy because he asked me out then sent a message asking “What do you want to do? I have some suggestions if you’re not sure..” His suggestions were actually nice but he should have led with that. Don’t ask ME out then ask what I want to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:42 PM
27

Actually it’s bot surprising lol. My parents have an 8 year age gap and my dad looks like my mom’s father. Little kids always ask her if that is her dad. And their new neighbors asked my mom if her father is home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:38 PM
48

I’ll add that saying you’re outdoorsy will almost guarantee you invites for walk/hike dates lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:34 PM
3

Oh my, I didn’t know men do this. So I haven’t even seen it all? 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:33 PM
57

Yes absolutely! I dated a cheap millionaire. Far worse than dating a “regular” earning man. Earnings, assets, net worth etc mean very little in a partner if they are not generous. If I moved in with this guy, my lifestyle would have been a major downgrade from how I currently live. Even worse than the lifestyle my working class parents provided me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:29 PM
41

Men are only logical when someone else messes up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:20 PM
2

I like this advice! It’s definitely doable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:42 AM
5

Thanks! Yeah, I do that but it’s still an issue of liking someone from that phone call enough to have a roster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:46 PM
15

Yep. I am intuitive as well and FDS gave me spidey senses too lol. I also leave meaningless social interactions feeling drained and depressed. My ex even sent me a research article about socializing leaving “highly intelligent people” feeling worse (usually more socializing makes people happier). I’m not saying introspective introverts are intelligent but we see and engage in a totally different way. Many intelligent folks are introverted too. So dating to have fun dates is not going to fulfill …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:16 PM
14

Yes! Agreed. As an often misunderstood introvert, if I feel someone gets me, I can romanticize them. Happened with my ex too. For me it’s two extremes: I have either no interest in spending time with you (99% of men I meet) OR I’m hooked and want to jump in. Sometimes I am talking/seeing multiple men at once but I will usually have one favorite and practically 0 interest in the others. Perhaps multidating is a way for us to find balance. Idk. But I realize if you’re the introspective introvert t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:09 PM
5

I’m same age as OP. And same experiences realizing I cared way more about my friends than they cared about me. So I distanced myself from many friends, including a lot of LVM too. I am also into fitness and have such hobbies. Before I moved, I met a group of great women through a hobby we all enjoyed (and participated in multiple days a week). It was initially hard to get past acquaintance stage but there was one woman there that really made an effort to build friendships. She would ask for our …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:31 AM
2

My mom his menopause I think around 50. My mom is still in her 50s and still is prettier than me lol. And my grandma had my mom when she was 45!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:50 AM
3

I personally know an influencer that did something like this. It seemed like an inauthentic life mission.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:49 AM
29

Loved it but tbh, I’m still conflicted. Since FDS I can barely get through a convo with a guy without realizing he is no good for me. I want a LTR and have no time to waste so it seems damn near impossible to have a rotation unless it’s primarily filled with men who do not meet my standards. I have been trying to date since January and I have gone on a lot of first dates, but very very few second ones. Sure I can continue seeing some of these men but it is hard for me to do so happily when I kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:42 AM
20

I agree. I get a lot of traction, so it’s not my profile…it’s the pool of men. I have matched and chatted with start up CEOs, doctors, business execs but they’re either flakey, too sexual or passive. OLD sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:48 AM
9

Only hideous fat men have insulted my appearance..always zeroing in on the most obscure or random thing too. The irony is that people would look at us like why is she with him. Any fine man I dated let me know I am attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:41 AM
5

Yeah and those GRE scores magically happened. He sounds so out of touch, and like an unambitious loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:36 AM
55

Yeah something tells me these aren’t impulsive decisions, she just doesn’t involve him or share her decision-making process. Grad school takes about a year to do - GREs, application processes, etc. He is just labeling her because she is leveling up and he is likely a stagnant bum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:34 AM
4

Same! I had a long travel day and planned on getting lost on FDS..but there were not many new posts and I felt abandoned lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:21 AM
119

I’m no psychologist but if I had to guess, she is afraid of true intimacy, so she is resorting to her sexuality to bond with this guy. They both seem to like each other too. It’s sad :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:09 AM
3

Yes, that’s my issue too. A lot of the ones you may be referring to are pseudo-Buddhists and “fake deep” as I like to call it lol. They use these teachings as an excuse to justify their lack of ambition, drive, responsibility and claim to be “free spirited” but are just man whores or smelly bums. BUT these are usually the extreme guys that wear their spirituality as a persona/identity. The ones I do connect with tend to be more subtle and don’t talk in a certain lingo or dress in the designated …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 09:14 PM
6

What’s wrong with Buddhism? I’m a Buddhist and spiritual. Tho I can admit I don’t even date men in those circles anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:12 AM
10

I stopped dating a guy bc he gad me and a bun h if friends over. A friend asked for a piece of floss (bc popcorn) and he said “I don’t have that stuff, I never floss.” I thought of all the gunk in between his teeth and lost interest. He tried kissing me later that night and I said he sounded sniffly and possibly sick lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:10 AM
7

Yes anyone who recounts many stories of their youth in such great detail weirds me out (mostly 30+ people). I have good memory and can recall key events but I simply don’t focus on the past to the point I have these detailed stories ready to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:01 AM
6

Idk why but I get turned off by use of that word. Thanks for validating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:58 AM
9

Omg…disturbing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:55 AM
33

Omg this makes me feel sooo much better! This has happened many times but very recently it happened with a guy my friends and I befriended. He went above and behond to be generous and looked out for us with his actions but loved to talk about himself. Then when we finally spent time together he still only talked about himself. He did ask about my friends (gossipy stuff). But he seriously had no interest in me, my life, or what made me me..yet he kept saying he liked me. He only wanted to know wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:04 AM
12

Nope (and I am a lawyer).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:52 PM
37

Ah I am not on social media and men have used this against me when they asked to add me as a friend. They felt I was lying..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:42 PM
127

I was stupidly low key in my 20s and my BF at the time (12 years older) asked what I wanted to eat and I wanted my fave veggie burger (like $7 bucks). We go and the cashier says he can save 10% if he signs up for some card or something. When I go to the bathroom he actually signed up for it despite the fact he never goes there and I was kind of embarrassed (and we both made 6 figs). So after me eat he gives me the card and made it seem like it was actually a gift card and I was thankful. I went …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:41 PM
27

The last guy I dated would not leave ONE grain of rice on a plate. He grew up poor, so I got it. But it was disturbing watching him basically lick a yogurt cup I gave him totally clean and lick every part of the spoon, making sure he did not leave a speck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:35 PM
11

Ha my dad always not to trust a self proclaimed nice guy! But why no extroverts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:29 PM
23

Even in the US (where I am) dinner dates with OLD is NOT the norm. I actually prefer to munch on snacks tapa style but anytime drinks have been involved, there’s a sexual undertone and men get that stupid grin and look of lust in their eyes.
/r/askFDS29/06/21 01:19 PM
77

You could tell him you’re not currently drinking and see his response. FDS preaches not to drink on a first date (even if there is food) and def no drink dates. That aside, I don’t like when men ask me to “ grab a drink/bite/whatever ”. I told the last guy I would consider it if he asked me properly lol. And he responded with “Will you go on a date with me?” Men are afraid to ask that directly or to even call it a date. They want something low key, casual, noncommittal when asking to protect the…
/r/askFDS29/06/21 12:52 PM
50

Yes! I am mid 30s now. In my past I did date men in their 40s but never really considered marrying them. Looking back I realized they struggled with women their own age bc of their immaturity. I don’t think my youthful looks was the draw, but it was my naïveté and general lack of expectations. Now that I am older and want something serious, I would never get with a much older man. And those guys I previously dated would not stand a chance with me today. So many of my male peers keep saying “I’ll…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:11 PM
107

Yep. Only woman I know with a senior citizen is bc the guy is super loaded and spoils her (sugar baby situation). Even my 40year old gal pals do not want 50+ men. Men falsely believe they will get a younger woman when they’re old and gross. In reality, most of these guys are single and chasing women with no success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:17 AM
141

Yep. Rude awakening ahead, for sure. In 5 years he’ll be single on tinder with stupid car selfies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:09 AM
13

No def not but I can see why you think that. We knew same people. So he didn’t go to restaurants at all bc he was cheap..which is kinda how he became loaded (hoarded his money for years and invested it all). He shopped thrift stores, drove a beat up car, and his home had like 3 pieces of furniture. He paid for nothing that be found unnecessary. There’s no way he would have ever taken someone to that nice tapas restaurant lol… Idk why I was with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:08 AM
4

I love you ladies that teach FDS values. Seriously, I am really grateful. To the mods, founders, participants, those struggling to learn. I always try to find meaning (maybe its a coping mechanism) and was troubled by the fact that I dated a LVM for 6 months that led me on when I thought I struck a goldmine by finding him (hot, rich, athletic). I came to reddit confused and seeking advice from strangers bc I was too embarrassed to tell my friends the disturbing details of his behavior. Sometimes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:56 AM
15

Yep. Attractive successful men tend to be more direct and tell me they just want something casual. Because they don’t have to lie to get someone to agree..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:49 PM
25

LOL thank you!! RIP laffytaggys time. But that fool brought me to FDS, at least. He potentially saved me from a lifetime of loserdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:47 PM
7

Right! I have had men get mad at me for not continuing to see them, but do they just want to be used? I don’t use people so when I see no future, I end it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:41 PM
4

When I was 34-35 I dated a guy and expressed I wanted children early on. He said he really wanted children. On my 35th birthday he even joked about my ticking clock but previously said fertility info is not accurate. He still strung me along. Even now, after breaking up, he still reaches out when it is very clear to me he has no intention on ever being serious with me. I will never tell a man I want kids again. I keep that info to myself. I say I’m open to it but act indifferent. Men do NOT care…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:36 PM
4

Yes. I discovered FDS back in the fall. I was in search of answers, and it gave me that. But actually following it was too bard and too scary. I did not want to drop LV people, block exes, and raise my standards bc I feared being alone and not having “options”. So I engaged in FDS but went on doing what I previously did, but then I had same results and everything I saw confirmed what FDS preaches. I was in denial for a while and after dating another LV guy and realizing most men around me just w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:21 PM
6

Yep and many of us made bad decisions out of ignorance. If we know better then do better, then there is no room for blame. But defending past ignorant decisions will only hold us back from true growth and potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:09 PM
10

Yes! I spent the last 6 months “MIA” according to friends. But I have been putting in psychological work, realizing hard truths and feel so so so ready to navigate the minefield of dating now. My friends don’t know what I have been up to (i believe in showing and not telling). I saw some friends (men and women) the other night and I felt like I was in the matrix lol. I could see everything so clearly in front of me. I could see people’s neediness and traits that would previously suck me in. I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:43 PM
2

Right. I notice a lot of women will bash men but there’s no self assessment or self awareness. Yes, many men suck but I hold my poor boundaries and naïveté accountable as well. I see how my lack of self esteem and desperation was a terrible recipe that led me to LVM. If I don’t hold myself accountable too, I will never improve my relationships. I caught up with a recently divorced pal, her hubby cheated with many women. But she was telling me about some LVM she was talking to. She acknowledged h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:34 PM
39

I know. And I still tolerated it and excused it. I cuddled him and indulged him in that nonsense. Sooo cringe to look back at. He was almost 40…sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:09 PM
28

Right, same re trendy.I mean in my city some peoples entire identity is about what new trendy place opened up. But I don’t deny myself something because it is trendy. I am casual but like getting dressed up from time to time, it’s like art getting my hair done and putting make up on my face, putting something on that flatters my physique. Walking into a place and having people stop and stare. It’s not superficial.. but I like that feeling sometimes, of being out on the town and looking good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:08 PM
21

I dated a minor celeb and he said he uses OLD. He also only dates women 1-2 decades younger than him. And he has never been faithful his entire life (50+).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:00 PM
14

I can’t even imagine lol. I would be so emotional and in shock, but would love it. I appreciate even the tiniest things (someone bringing me a cookie lol) so this would blow me away and out me over the edge, in the best possible way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:56 PM
90

I love that. I dated a super cheap guy who was anti-trends. And we connected on the fact that we were free spirits that don’t care about the new hotspots in our city. We almost always went to hole in the walls or spent time in nature. I really enjoyed that stuff and this was pre FDS so I didn’t realize it was a bad starting point. So his birthday was approaching and I asked to take him to dinner, he happily agreed. I made reservations at a nice tapas spot and got all dressed up. When he came ove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:35 PM
56

This is truth. Most of the men I know are high earners (I’m a lawyer) and they don’t complain about taking women out at all (only a few of the cheap ones, but they are cheap all around). I didn’t come across men who are trying to do bare minimum until I discovered OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:18 PM
57

Good for you! I waited til late 20s and really wish I waited even longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 09:15 PM
5

Beautiful! I want to start making veggie boards. I love laying out snacks and lounging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 04:57 PM
10

I don’t like cats either. It’s something I am trying to overcome but it stems from my childhood. I get bad anxiety around them! I was talking to a guy with 2 cats and I didn’t voice my dislike but realized it would not work because he cherished his pets and I would never get in the way of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:30 PM
22

I remember in college thinking a 25 year old was too grown to be at the bar. Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:50 AM
29

Sounds like these men just put up with the woman until they finished, and once they do, they want her to go away/die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:28 PM
25

WTH this terrifies me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:27 PM
30

Yeah where I live precheck can be longer than regular line lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:19 AM
17

Wow. I have precheck and I travel with my mom for our yearly trip (she doesn’t have precheck). But sometimes if I book our flights, she gets precheck too. And in the times she hasn’t, idk if I used precheck and she did the regular line. But I know for certain that if I did, it would simply us being in different lines and I would never leave her to go to that gate. I would def not leave a companion of any sort behind at an airport. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:18 AM
32

I agree. I think what commenter did was for self preservation. I think stonewalling is done more offensively, as a deliberate way to punish a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:24 AM
2

Yep. This hapoened with a couple I know. The couple was young but were unable to conceive. They divorced and remarried, and at an older age, both went on to have many children. The woman even had her 4th child when she was pushing mid-40s!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:18 AM
30

Good for you. I was chatting with a guy the other day and told him I am going out of town for a month. This is my last weekend in town before I head out. He made a comment that he wanted to take me out before I leave but he guesses he’ll “just have to wait until I return in a month”. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just ask me out for this weekend, and I almost suggested it. But then I realized if be was really into me, no way would he wait a month and risk me meeting someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:07 AM
12

Good for you! I broke up with a LVX last year (it was more casual) but it also made me reflect on ALL of my friendships. I got rid of a lot of friends too because my lack of boundaries extended well beyond dating. Sometimes LVM push you to reassess everything and start fresh in a stronger, more deliberate way. So even tho we regret those relationships, in the end, we’re better off because we’re coming out wiser :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:38 PM
128

I remember telling a guy about my dads health problems. And he responded that my dad is still blessed because he “had a beautiful daughter.” I was so confused as to what my looks have to do with my dads quality of life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:55 PM
8

My mom (50s) realizes she has gave, gave and gave and at least tells me the whole system is a scam bc women work and still have 100% of the home responsibilities. She keeps it real with me. But with that said, she still encourages me to participate in this rigged system for the sake of having my own family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:49 PM
9

FDS doesn’t seem to be completely against OLD, but they warn that it’s full of LV men and behavior. I kiked the podcast episode that discussed OLD and each person had a different perspective. I think savanna said that OLD isn’t going anywhere so rather than advising against it, it’s better to teach women on what to look out for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:42 PM
24

Idk seems like a narrative that he has created for himself, and our own narratives tend to be self-fulfilling prophecies. If someone told me that, I wouldn’t waste my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:39 PM
5

LOL same! My ex said he loved strong women. Then I established boundaries, and he flipped out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:34 PM
23

My damn near 40 yr old ex ALWAYS used silent treatment after any disagreement. The length of his silent matched how offended he felt. Never tolerating that sh*t again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:32 PM
176

Yes. The whole “wife gave me pretty daughters makes” me sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:29 PM
50

I can’t stand people like that. It makes me dread sharing anything with them…they never offer a safe space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:24 AM
16

Yes he seems like an opportunist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:43 AM
20

Yeah I can always tell which guy is going to be problematic when I lived in a major city and walked a lot. They all have these crazy eyes, it’s like they don’t actually see me but they look at me in a demented/non-human way. Like a tiger looking at it’s prey. That’s how a stalker that broke into my home used to look at me. That’s how the man that exposed himself when I was running looked at me. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:30 AM
5

I love it, can’t wait to play it during my morning routine and walks ;) What a great mantra to allow myself to feel, connect and resonate with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:17 AM
83

Does anyone know what’s up with her BF? Is he a predator or does he seem to genuinely have her best interest in mind?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:31 AM
9

Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:14 AM
20

How do you feel about it? My first bf was 12 years older than me, it didnt bother me at the time but in hindsight it does
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:11 AM
5

Yes always been happy that she at least leveled up $$$
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:23 PM
90

17 year age gap!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:18 PM
51

Same. I thought men finding em attractive want desiring me meant they liked me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:16 PM
142

Truth. I used to be friends with many men, they take sex where they can get it. All the ones I knew who ended up in “FWB” did so because they wanted sex and found a woman willing to give it up. They would still pursue dates/relationships with other women, but would fall back in the “FWB” to have their needs met. Some that were lazy or unmotivated would spend YEARS casually sleeping with someone with zero intention on ending it or turning it into more..until something drastic happened. It’s all o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:45 PM
3

I usually vet/screen a lot before a first date. But if I am iffy, I ask a friend to call/text my phone about 20 mins in and I make sure my volume is up. That way I figure its an easy out if I am not feeling it (oh hey, sorry I have to run now. Thanks the (whatever)!) But once I went in a date with a guy who berated me and wanted to talk about politics, I went ahead and ended that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:04 AM
39

I feel the same. I get approached by lunatics. The normal looking attractive men look at me, may smile..but don’t approach. But I’m also not good at giving back eye contact, I get shy and divert my eyes. But lunatics approach with no eye contact whatsoever lol Pre covid I did have normal men approach me out, usually at restaurants if I’m out with a girl friend, or at art/cultural events if I went alone. But that is still rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 02:40 AM
11

I miss affection so so much. I am not settling for cheap affection… tho I have countless numbers of men I know that would gladly come keep me company. I want the real thing. It’s hard right now. I just want to be embraced and held. I almost gave in the other day with a LVM but reminded myself of the dangers of even having a casual hook up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:08 AM
5

Just set your boundaries and act according to them. Maybe some people announce their change by stating “hey, I am cutting back on texts” but I simply don’t like explaining myself…esp if someone new, like this guy you’re talking about. Sure some people take it personally but I am still polite and responsive to things that actually warrant a response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:07 AM
9

I agree! I think that’s what I’m noticing, all of the texting is about them. When people have asked about me it was still for then (ex: “what are you doing this weekend….bc I need a place to crash”). And yes, I am not saying abandon your loved ones. I concluded by saying I reach out to them too when feeling alone. But I’m just warning about the texting time suck and particularly, the low value aspect of it (whether who you are texting with or what you are discussing). I still engage in lengthy t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:44 PM
42

ITA. I have a friend that texts alllll the time, and he admits it’s because he hates being alone. The texts are not important, mostly just chit chat. Well, whenever we do see him IRL, he is not engaged with his friends because he sits there texting away on his phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 10:12 AM
8

I don’t think it’s my role to give attention to LV people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 10:09 AM
11

It is. Before cell phones the concept of “writing” to multiple people periodically throughout each and every day would seem nuts. Cell phones are great for many things, but we shouldn’t allow technology to delude us into thinking that it’s a wise to engage in rather meaningless chit/chat all day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:56 AM
20

Girl, I could have written a novel with how many texts I sent to loser men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:00 AM
31

Good advice. I also say assess his car. My ex had a 7 figure net worth. He drove a beat up 15 year old car he found for super cheap and fixed it up himself. I thought this was cool and rustic. But the car smelled of chemicals, the AC blew way too harshly, and it made loud sounds every time he parked. It was not comfortable and it was an eyesore too. This man did long road trips in an awful car despite having well beyond the means for something safer and reasonable. This was symbolic of other iss…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 01:18 PM
16

Same. But I stopped panicking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:19 AM
120

Gross. Sorry for the loss of your father 🙏🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:07 PM
2

Omg this post was for me! In the last few years or so I ended up primarily having guy friends bc my good guy buddy lived close by, and I was kinda adopted by his circle. These guys do not share anything with each other…and I became an emotional outlet for a few of them, while they showed little interest in my personal life. I recently dumped all of them! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:25 PM
13

Haha meeee too!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:18 PM
31

—- He said he didn’t look at it. Of course!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:16 PM
66

He doesn’t sound HV at all if he hasn’t worked on his issues and his trauma is evident to you..at only two months in. Also, if a man cannot articulate what he cherishes about me then I don’t want him. I would think the relationship lacks depth and seriousness if the only explanation is “you look good” or that they care. Even LVM I dated were specific and detailed regarding what they liked about me. Lastly, figure out your religious dealbreakers if you want a long term relationship with someone o…
/r/askFDS20/06/21 09:04 PM
7

Idk you can get to that place tho. I did with meditation. I feel like women won’t ever fully be liberated if we still factor in societal opinion on us. Sometimes doing the thing that society/friends/fam sees as “winning” is detrimental to our progress and well being. After a break up, personally I like to work on myself and reflect on the last relationship. I feel if I did the JLO route and linked up with another man so people don’t pity me might be a “fun” distraction. But where’s the lesson an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:13 PM
12

Idk if making our focus on other people’s perspective and narrative is the way to go. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled, but who really cares about what others think of you/your failures/situations? I get why JLO does it for her brand, she has to be seen as hot/desirable. But for the rest of us, idk if it’s worthwhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:04 PM
18

I am considering sperm donor route in 2 years. People think I’m crazy but I don’t want to “wait for a man” for eternity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:07 PM
31

I hear this and it’s something I am reflecting on. But do any of you ladies feel a strong biological desire for children? I think it is so ingrained in me, esp in my 30s, that it’s hard to think clearly on it. Does anyone feel that deep down urge to nest and have a baby?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:58 AM
81

A big tech guy asked me out on a friday date. He did not confirm time/place, so I made other plans. At 5pm friday he texts me and apologizes requesting to reschedule. He said he was bummed bc a business deal fell through and that he wouldn’t be good company. I was surprised he thought we were still on. I gVe a pleasant response then promptly blocked/deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:17 AM
72

Yes, Selena! I just got here too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:18 PM
43

I do notice women from wealthy families tend to marry easily…to bums.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 02:51 PM
100

I found out my ex had a disturbing habit and when we discussed it, I used the word “disgusted” and he snapped. Like he just switched upon hearing that word and feeling judged. Then somehow he got upset with me, even tho I was the one that had every right to be mad AND disturbed by his behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 01:29 AM
13

Thanks!! Feeling low and lonely on this Friday night, I’m gonna watch this ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 09:40 PM
31

Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:57 PM
21

Wow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:52 PM
20

The fact that he used the term cards makes me think it’s a game.
/r/askFDS18/06/21 04:49 PM
57

Right, it’s so sad :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 10:07 AM
90

Good, good point!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 10:07 AM
19

Interested in the responses.
/r/askFDS18/06/21 03:06 AM
66

Every problem with a man comes down to this. I never had an ex express disappointment in me but when i expressed my disappointment in them (lies, low effort, flakiness), somehow I ended up the offending party. Now I know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:25 AM
102

As a former hippy adjacent, I can confirm that you are correct. I dated “free spirited” men, they’re worse than most bro types..as they lack a genuine identity, spew BS, and are minimalists (read: broke frugal types living on someone else’s dime or staying at hostels at 40).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:56 PM
127

I watched this and felt drained. I guess bc they all talk about what they like to extract from Women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:31 PM
69

So so true. Someone found me when I was making crazy posts about my LVX. Thank goodness I was rescued. I knew everything I tolerated was beyond wrong but I gaslit myself because I was convinced that I’m the problem or that I wasn’t looking at things correctly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:04 PM
26

Yeah, I think they see it as an impediment to their money and freedom. I was having a convo the other day and this pregnant woman who was abandoned by her BF came up and someone said “well, at least he didn’t off her.” Smh. The bar is that low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:41 PM
11

Lol yes that it what I learned too. Subtract 3 inches from their claimed height.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:40 PM
6

Hmm I also didn’t know this was a thing! If anything my height (5’9) brings me more attention. Silly to learn its an OLD backlash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:39 PM
16

Yes, its obnoxious. I’m an inch taller than you and men will claim to be my height when I am literally looking down at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:37 PM
3

I’ve never experienced male hate for my height while dating. Is this a thing? I’m 5’9 so not astronomically tall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:35 PM
52

Omg same. I am a MJ user and my ex hated it. So I cut back for him…and I lost my sexual attraction to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:31 PM
67

Ah no wonder dating became way less tolerable when I quit drinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:30 PM
2

I was dating a guy exclusively (or so I thought) and we had an argument, he gave me the silent treatment. He said he didn’t want to break up before disappearing. After 3 days of silence I had a hunch. So I get on an app and with the appropriate filters, I was able to find his newly created profile within 3 minutes. I never saw him again. Guess who came back with pathetic messages? And who got blocked/deleted?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:33 AM
2

Yes every every nan I have ever dated as appeared “proud of me.” They felt so broad when introducing me as a pretty girl then get to disclose I am also a lawyer. Their pride was about them tho, bc they didn’t necessarily value me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:36 AM
2

I wish I discovered myself more, put mySelf Out there to really live and experience life. I didn’t date at that age, so fortunately I didn’t waste my time on that. At 20 I was graduating college and headed into graduate a school. But I was so focused on academics that I didn’t develop hobbies or skills. And I wish I took bigger risks, and didn’t care about peoples judgments/opinions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:34 AM
36

Lol! I get flashbacks often but over time, it seems to have decreased. Sometimes something will trigger a random memory of something I didn’t even know I had stored away…then it retraumatizes me. The cringey memories suck but better memories than making cringey moments currently!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:27 AM
1

Lmao haha thanks!! Love you for that :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 09:17 PM
1

Yes she even told me she is so blessed to have never had depression or anxiety. Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 08:58 PM
2

Yep. I had a huge change after getting in top shape. This friend never seemed to notice but early on asked if I was just going through a phase. Everyone else commented on my improved physique. She only mentioned it once in passing when she said “since you’ve gotten fit.” Hmm but she notices flaws and comments on them to me out loud…like when I heat damaged my hair and scar. Thanks girl! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 08:57 PM
9

I do remember that. I never had a big butt until recently when I got more into weight lifting. It’s pretty nuts how much more attention I get now..off a butt. I even have had men talk to me while making eye contact with my butt. I find jt very very strange.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:01 PM
5

You know, I didn’t know people thought I was pretty because my friends never relayed that to me. Then a few times, a friend would slip and say something along the lines of “oh people always tell me that about you.” Now people just tell me to my face. But I always tell a friend if someone complimented them to me. I find it very strange that people do not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:58 PM
3

I agree. I keep things to myself now. I told a good friend about my history of depression/anxiety. She seemed supportive…oddly, until drastic lifestyle changes made me a healthier and happier person. She then started making jabs about mental health. I learned my lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:50 PM
173

I lost the most essential thing to me- time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 05:47 PM
3

I love this culture! Esp the surname part. My grandparents also didn’t know their exact age, nor does my father. DOBs weren’t a thing in their home country. We also suspect my grandparents had my mom in mid/late 40s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:38 PM
22

My cousin ignored his wife the entire reception. He was upstairs and outside drinking with his buddies, did not look the least bit into her. And his family has the nerve to rave about their marriage 🙄.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 11:37 PM
36

That’s what I miss too. Being embraced by a big male body. Pets, hugs with women, heated blankets don’t do the trick. I miss laying my head on a mans chest. But I don’t want to do that with someone random and empty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:37 PM
192

Yes. My ex and I got in a fight once. And he went on a date with another woman during our break (really, him ignoring me for weeks). He is sooo cheap and he made that clear on my first date. He said she told him right after the date that they were not compatible. I remember feeling so stupid for accepting his crumbs and this queen rightfully walked away from him. He, of course, described her as a high maintenance snob.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:52 PM
99

Great post. I really struggle with this. One thing that I notice is that any time that I’m doing my best (leveling up and devoting myself to personal growth) I’m the most alone. When I kind of let myself go and I’m directionless, those are the times where my social life seems to be thriving. It’s a challenge but I’ve listened to a lot of notable people in the business world, spiritual world, etc. that speak of the importance of solitude. A lot of our philosophers that we get our greatest ideas f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 08:04 PM
18

Lol thanks! I might just say I stopped keeping track after 50.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:39 PM
11

Sorry. My ex did the same. I asked for a break bc I was in pain, but he yelled at me thinking I make up excuses. I look back and wonder why I tolerated that. It’s not our fault, we thought these men cared about us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:30 PM
38

Wow how rude. I’m a fit size 4 but men still like to guess my weight for some reason, it’s so annoying! Even if its on the low end, I just think its invasive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:35 PM
43

Hahaha this is my favorite. Def going to do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:34 PM
20

That’s likely true. I am pretty reserved so I can see it as a way to “crack” me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:08 PM
51

Same! My former scrote friend wished me a happy birthday and told me I look better now than I did in my 20s and that it’s rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:03 PM
7

Thanks about the comment re internalized rage. You’re right, I shouldn’t hold onto that! Let goooooo! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:33 PM
28

My ex and I broke up over this. He sucked in bed, but I was so attracted to him that I overlooked it and thought I enjoyed it. He also had a high sex drive. We had sex twice that day and he wanted a third round..but I was tired, wanted to take a break and was not enthused during it. But I thought I was being cooperative by enduring. Well he flipped out bc I wasn’t into it and yelled at me. He said his best friend is married and having sex issues with bis wife, and the fact that we are having iss…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:26 PM
29

Uhh I even have men ask me at the gym. A guy recently asked how long I’ve been coming to this gym and I said “5 years” and he was like “wait…how old are you?!” These types of interactions occur alllllll the time with me. All the time. Only men. Women never ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:21 PM
25

Thank you thank you! You are right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:08 PM
32

Lol I wish! I look stern but men still give me commentary on the daily. I had a man cross the street the other day to comment on my fit physique. Another man looked at my butt and asked “do you work out?” The nerve of grown ass men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:07 PM
30

This is true. He said I made him feel old. The guy also made a comment about my height..I am long and leggy, towered over him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:55 PM
22

LOL thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:55 PM
37

True. The guy was 65 and so who knows what he considered. But I was turned off by the interaction. I know I will look “younger” only for so long, we all must age..if we’re so lucky to live. I just hate men wanting to guess my numbers..age, weight, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:48 PM
31

This guy was 65.. he wasn’t hitting on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:47 PM
40

Yeah I always had similar experiences. Men younger than me would ask me out then get shocked when they found out I was older than them. But this guy yesterday guessed my age pretty correctly, and it really really bothered me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:46 PM
66

LOL love it!! Wish I used that yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:29 PM
59

I agree. The women here are raving about her face. She is gorgeous but…the juxtaposition of the message and the visual is a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:16 PM
2

I live in a pricey city but my home is my sanctuary, so I do splurge with housing costs. But this makes me work harder and invest more. I match what I pay in rent into a savings that I mostly invest in the market. I have opportunities to work more and increase my income, so I usually dedicate a weekend morning to getting those projects done (on my laptop from my cool apt). To me, it’s worth it. In the past, if I roughed it housing wise I was not nearly as peaceful. I do try to cook more at home …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 04:09 PM
69

I have not ate meat since childhood (20+ years). A former guy friend would bring a piece of meat to my face to offer me a bite. He also thought my dietary allergies were fictional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:08 PM
93

Just joking in men speak means “I was serious but want to take to take back telling you based on your reaction”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:06 PM
17

Haha! At first I was like wait, am I in a crisis and don’t realize it?! Then realized it was angry scrotes, as I really only post here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 06:04 PM
16

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:56 PM
86

Attractive men are desired, checked out, and are not lacking in compliments. ETA LOL someone reported me to a crisis center via reddit for concerning posts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:55 PM
1

With FDS you can see a mans MO off the bat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:52 AM
16

He even rented the truck. What a fool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:38 AM
50

Lol I agree. Now that you guys mentioned this, it seems so ridiculous. I’m pretty sure there would be issues if this was any other body part being cut by a layman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:01 AM
16

What a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:55 AM
26

Ah ok. So true. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:39 AM
6

She’s actually into her 30s. But yeah, age gap still
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:11 AM
19

Same I rarely ever split a check with a friend. We just take turns treating each other, no one keeps track..but we don’t take advantage of each other either. I tend to take on more when I know my friend has less disposable income. And if it’s something I suggested, I pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:55 AM
29

Same same! I am foreign and there’s no way a man would stand by when the check came- it was a straight up fight lol. It’s almost an honor to handle the bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:53 AM
21

Interpretation , please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:51 AM
3

It is awesome. Pre-FDS I dreamed of my ex returning to me and he now has…but now with FDS, I can see alllll the BS and chose to ignore him. In fact, I stopped talking to most exes and men in my life, something I was too afraid to do before. It took a while, and I backtracked at times..:but every time I did, the results confirmed FDS is based on truths. And while I am happy to have this clarity and to be eradicated of the “I need a man” mindset, it is still challenging…bc I do want a family. And …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:41 PM
40

That’s how I felt when I was young. I would say “no one asked you to make me.” Not condoning her statements but she was a young mom and I understand her emotions at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 09:37 PM
3

Yes! I felt the same way reading your post haha. We are soo not alone and that’s what has been amazing about FDS. I find women lie to themselves/their friends about guys/relationships so even though I talked to friends in the past, I never got a sense of clarity and never realized my dealings with men are pretty common. I’m in mid 30s and I feel like I am now finally equipped to date and deal with men as a solid person. Before I had NO idea what I was even doing lol. I can talk to men now, or ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:54 PM
4

Great post. You sound a lot like me. I am your age but started dating later in life. I was always the “laid back” cool girl and I also believed relationships would be like a fairy tale. I thought a guy would find me and see my worth, then be dedicated to me for life. I would lie to myself to ridiculous levels to convince myself a guy was ‘the one’…even when nothing I experienced with him in reality indicated we had anything remotely special. I blamed myself for everything, thinking I did somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:22 PM
87

Haha during our awful teen years my mom would always get SO mad and say “I carried you for 9 months!!” I thought she was crazy, but now I get it. As adults, we now spoil our mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:59 PM
18

Ding ding ding. My friend is 40 and likes women younger than him so long as they’re “hot.” The ones in their 30s don’t really take him seriously but the 20 somethings that pay attention to him can usually benefit from him (don’t have their own place, need someone to pay for their lifestyle etc).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:44 PM
10

Yes my guy friends were the worst, biggest haters. Glad I dropped them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:40 PM
9

Yep. I noticed if I am out with an LVM and someone pays me a compliment that makes me smiley, they get pouty. They do not want someone validating. They want you to derive your happiness and esteem from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:39 PM
60

I just made a post about being called negative by men lol. I took it so personally but clearly I should not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:29 PM
9

Lol I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 01:46 PM
5

True. I think he just wants me to feel insecure.
/r/askFDS09/06/21 02:31 PM
15

Don’t get me started on him, I know him. He claims to uplift black women, but bashes black women for dating outside their race…he says he can be with white woman so long as its in secret lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:50 AM
13

I act deaf and oblivious when I’m out. I have tunnel vision and focus on the task at hand. If you get really good at it, men will assume you are unaware of their presence lol. You can still see them in your peripheral looking or trying to get your attention, but still act oblivious. Few will then invade your territory but I just do the confused face and walk away.
/r/askFDS08/06/21 07:51 PM
29

Thanks! My ex would call me negative if I was unimpressed (like when he took me to an empty cold park for a “date” at 10pm in the winter). He said I was a negative person and knew it bothered me because I am spiritual and try to live a certain way. He reached out (I know he should be blocked, he is now) bc he heard I moved cities and made a comment that he hopes I find something “positive.” I almost reacted but realized he just wants a reaction lol. If anything that comment shows he has made no …
/r/askFDS08/06/21 06:02 PM
17

My ex would give me the silent treatment when I asserted boundaries that upset him. The last time he bad a fit and walked out after a fight, he refused to talk to me and we broke up. His last text was wishing me “good luck.” But turns out he needed the luck based on his pathetic texts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:58 PM
2

Yes!! My friend does this- he’ll point out “fun” women and says he likes that. But its always drunk women or women who are acting quite silly in public. I’m reserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:11 PM
2

Ah ok I guess I got the word wrong. My ex would call me negative when I wasn’t excited about a date (a cold park in the winter at night). He randomly reached out and made a comment about how he hopes I am finding things more “positive.” I know..block/delete. But made me think back of the people that called me negative, it’s always when I’m not acting impressed by nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:10 PM
9

Since when do models have FU money? It’s only the top models in places like NY that have FU money. Majority of models in NY struggle and hustle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:34 AM
38

The one time dealing with an LVM is worth it..0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:08 PM
34

Where I am it’s always the guys I would never like that superliked me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:07 PM
6

agreed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:03 PM
15

I needed to hear this. I pulled back from a platonic guy friend. He is needy and became used to the attention I would give him in responding to texts. I gave a lot of emotional labor, bringing him vitamins and books when he was depressed. I gave him advice on dating. He drinks every weekend and I do not, so I pulled back a lot. Also this year has been challenging with a fam illness and a move. He never checks in with me. If I mention something, whether bad news or even good news like a fun date …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:01 PM
3

Thank you lady! 🙏🏾 I feel what you wrote, I am there too. FDS makes it “harder” but yet “easier”…living in truth is always better. I feel more understood with people here than I do with people I know IRL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:26 PM
5

So true! I know that immediate feeling with heart of hearts vs cognitively/intellectually rationalizing a poor choice. Living in that self denial is the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:47 PM
-33

Not parent-izing. But if given the choice, i would still pick a girl first because I think its a better dynamic for siblings. Coming from someone raised with an older bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 11:51 PM
-20

I always wanted a daughter first because they make better role models lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:35 PM
1

True but now people seem more aware and there are alt options at least. I still don’t eat meat, haven’t for most of my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:07 PM
2

Her mom predicted it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:00 AM
21

Studies show women past 35 that procreate with younger men have much less fertility challenges and healthier babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:37 AM
33

My friend is mid 30s, married a guy in his 50s. They have been trying for a few years and doctors finally informed her it’s the hubby. So now their only option is a sperm donor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:36 AM
19

I believe diet has a big role. Growing up my mom didn’t let us eat frozen or processed foods- I have still never had a hot pocket or lunchable lol. I also didn’t eat meat growing up, which was pumped up with hormones back then. And I hit puberty a good 3-5 years after my friends. But I thought something was wrong with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:34 AM
9

Yay gives me hope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:30 AM
4

Wow you’re describing a friendship I have with this one guy. I’m mid 30s, he is 40. He is smart and successful but doesn’t really provide me any value. I was there for him when he was depressed and would always be responsive to his texts. Lately im cutting back from LV stuff like useless texting. Also I don’t put much effort into one sided friendships. He jas made comments that im avoiding him. But he only reaches out to say something about himself. Like he needs attention. He hasn’t asked a sin…
/r/askFDS05/06/21 12:26 AM
6

Leggings and tee, or sweats. Sometimes shorts. Super casual. My biggest thing is my hair. It’s curly, long and thick so it looks wild unless I style it..and that takes a lot of time. When alone I don’t care how it looks but in the past I put more effort into at least brushing it into a bun or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:05 PM
159

Yes read it and immediately thought he is in love with the sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:00 AM
4

Yeah by saying that they aren’t’ concerned about how we feel, as the other party of the relationship. They are just trying to get us to act how they want us to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:18 PM
72

Yes. My one guy friend insisted on moving for me, told me not to hire movers. I didn’t have to ask for help, he offered. I still hired movers tho lol Meanwhile when I was dating a guy and moving into my place my girl friend and I were struggling to assembly something for several hours. I texted the guy and told him how poorly it was going. He never offered to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:09 PM
-10

Ughh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:07 PM
50

I have caught men making similar statements before. They don’t realize what they’re saying …their truth speaks volumes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:20 PM
31

I like her, watched some interviews by her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:05 PM
44

Ah yes. My ex would always say “relationships are supposed to be..” or “I don’t want a relationship like this” and it was ONLY when I set a boundary for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:17 PM
4

I like the first guy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:14 PM
13

Yes. Majority of my friends are of Indian background. I can confirm this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:13 PM
195

I blocked/deleted when my ex started texting me. I now have 0 desire to get back with him but sometimes I feel anger about the stuff I dealt with. Now that I see through everything he said/did (thanks to FDS) I wish I could tell him I know he is a full of shit clown. But theres no point..so he’ll stay blocked. Todays podcast helped when the woman shared her story about winning. My ex’s lasts texts before I blocked him were so pathetic and it does bring me joy that I didn’t even respond. He is so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:16 AM
24

Well at least he’s honest..smh. What app is that? Never seen a temperament thing..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:14 AM
13

I made a post like this today. I have SOOOO much gratitude for FDS and the awesome lady that messaged me when I made a pathetic post on a dating advice sub for people in my age range. I am glad I circled back to her message and decided to check FDS out. Every time I see or hear women deal with BS, I feel thankful that I finally see the light. I think of the time I wasted but I could have spent my whole life blind and confused. I used to see couples and think I was a loser that should just stop b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:37 AM
12

Nah no judging. I sit on my patio or at the park and just watch the trees sway in the warm breeze and it’s so beautiful it gets me emotional...and makes me feel less lonely knowing how amazing nature and our planet is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:51 AM
8

Sad sad sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:47 AM
14

Same! I wonder if I look younger bc I barely deal with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:41 AM
43

Same with my parents. Exact same. Mom is fit and gorgeous, dads looks and health plummeted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:40 AM
30

Yes queens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:39 AM
5

I wish I was her friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:36 AM
30

As a forever daddy’s girl..this is one I wish I didn’t read 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:30 AM
25

This. Greatest mistake I made was attempting to get into a serious relationship due to my age without having ANY idea of what I was actually looking for. I thought knowing what looks and lifestyle I liked was sufficient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:29 AM
65

LOL as if men will fake poverty. Everything a man presents is INFLATED. No way will he take a chance on missing a shot with a women for fear he might be used. Not in this era at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:25 AM
5

Well at least there’s hope for some HVW, even tho it’s a small minority since there’s less HVM:HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:53 PM
6

This can’t be real? Please tell me she just wants a reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:31 PM
200

I remember on my 28th birthday I so badly wanted to see the 40+ yr old guy I dated. He ignored my calls all day. Ugh. And we continued to date off/on for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:47 PM
24

True. I guess we’ll never know if someone is happy or not, wherever they met their partner. Truth is apps are so common that they are kind of representative of society- lots of subpar people in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:51 PM
29

Yes I agree! The few men I met online that did not have glaring red flags definitely betted A LOT- they asked me a lot of preliminary questions, wanted to talk on the phone before asking me out. They vetted because they had standards. Most men just want to get you to meet them and barely ask anything bc its obvious what they are looking for. But is using OLD to find the 1 in 1,000 decent man worth the time? Prob mot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:49 PM
77

You are right. It’s so hard to accept tho. I do know a handful of women that met their husbands online, and they seem happy. But they all had genuine intentions of finding a partner, and I think that’s the minority of people on apps. I think some HV people do get on apps but probably don’t last long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:33 PM
3

It’s okay, we are still learning. You did the right thing in conclusion :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:16 AM
2

Thankfully I have spiritual role models that give me sound nonspecific advice that teaches me to care and value myself first. I don’t want someone to navigate specifics with me but I need someone to instill in me the proper way to conduct myself as a loving respectful individual. Everything else falls into place when you have the right mindset. And yes, most therapists are generous. I had one female therapist tell me I would do well with military men..wtf. Really it gets no better than FDS when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:35 AM
4

I did the same thing you did. My ex started reaching out and would text me fake questions, I mostly gave vague responses or did not respond. He then asked to talk on the phone one day and I asked what he needed to speak about. He said nothing in particular, he just wanted to “catch up.” I didn’t want to talk to him and be subjected to his BS. Although we never had a real open convo after our last argument that led to our break up, I knew I would get nothing from opening up to him except for bull…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:31 AM
5

My brother used to rave about Condaleeza Rice lol That is all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:23 AM
19

Dang. At least you have your baby and freedom now. Do you think your age played a role in you sticking with him/giving him a change? I’m a couple years younger than you and kinda feel that pressure to give subpar guys a chance but I will listen to you! Thanks for sharing your story. It’s only up from here sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:14 AM
37

Omg. I am so sorry. What a sick loser. I am astonished this week..learning how many women got HPV from “committed” relationships. And doctors can tell you have HPV immediately at a pap?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:47 AM
54

Damn. I needed to hear this. Was giving an unattractive guy a shot and he is already playing silly games...timing his response times to match mine. I am responding when I can, not being calculated. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:45 AM
50

34 isn’t middle aged! But yeah, I get it..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:40 AM
94

Seriously. When I was a 27 year old virgin I dated a 40 year old divorced father...and I look back at that relationship with anger and disgust. Cannot imagine 18 and 40. If I met my ex today (35) no way would I give him a shot. He used to say he wished I was older bc then I would be ready to marry him. But no..if I was older, I would have walked away when he approached me. And men think they are hurting us by saying they can date younger. The ones that do this are usually garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:21 AM
67

Yep, a couple years younger than you and I agree. I attract men younger than me IRL..old ones too but I disregard them. OLD was an eye opener when I saw what my peers and men in their 40s are like. Yikes! I always liked older men too, til I got older..it’s all down hill for them after 32.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:18 AM
54

YES. Esp out of shape. I am a fitness fanatic and I can say that the in shape, well cared for older men seek peers...not victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:12 AM
22

I think this was posted here before. I forgot how funny and on point she is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:10 AM
29

No. I learned this past weekend from a spiritual leader that one must heal themselves and only then can they have a positive relationship, with another healed person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:08 AM
2

My friend hosted a speed dating event many years ago and I went with him and hung around and just socialized with all parties...I wasn’t intrigued. The men were definitely not in the women’s league lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:19 PM
1

Thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:21 PM
9

Do it!! I’m only a few years younger than you and am researching, preparing now. I plan to do it at your age actually, if all goes according to plan. I want 2, so might also adopt down the line. My parents are still married and I’m so glad my mom is not judgmental about this and FULLY supports my choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:04 PM
45

Omg. When you think you’ve heard it all...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:14 PM
7

I want to get there! I have moments but at times I get blue because I really really have a strong biological and overall desire to be preggers. I want a baby. Looking at sperm banks tho...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:13 PM
13

I honestly would not mind being alone but I want a baby..but sperm donors exist. Sometimes when I hear mothers looking for a man, I don’t get it! To me, a man is only useful for his sperm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:12 PM
31

Omg. These age gaps..and still splitting? I might retire from the dating game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:03 PM
20

I wish HVM ‘bothered’ me...instead of the ews
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:48 PM
32

I like that quote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:47 PM
31

My building door had a fob thing. But thankfully I moved out because I relocated. P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:40 PM
118

Wow. This reminds me that a couple days before my ex and I broke up he went out and ran some errands for me and I gave him my keys so he can get back into my secured building on his own (I didn’t want to have to go down to the lobby in my pajamas). When he returned he joked that he made a copy of my keys..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:27 PM
2

Lol block/delete is usually better but her last response is classic! 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:00 PM
1

Lol I know, was joking. But she implied men will not be interested in me because of my age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 05:50 PM
1

Ugh. Well as always when it comes to men, I’ll have 0 expectations if I do try it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 05:13 PM
7

Jeggings don’t work well for me either! if I buy a size x-small, it fits my waist but its very tight on my butt and thighs and makes me look like I want attention :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:41 PM
5

Ohh thanks! I’ll look into but feel free to message me a good company. I tried some brands that have a “curvy” line but the fit wasn’t good for me. Abercrombie and Khloe have a line for women with a big waist:hip deficit too. And I hate skirts bc I am tall/leggy and it just makes me look too dressy and shorter skirts are out of question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:40 PM
8

🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:15 PM
13

Yes! I was thinking how society makes you think being slim waisted with hips/booty is the norm/ideal but clothes aren’t designed for that frame at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:19 PM
44

I had a good weekend where I attended a retreat and connected with like minded people, it was so spiritually touching snd beautiful. I opened up to strangers in a way I can’t with my friends and openly shared about my loneliness. But I was a bit sad when it ended. Yesterday I thought some more about single motherhood (35) bc I am losing hope in men. I then got overwhelmed and started retreating and thinking maybe I should just settle with a good enough guy. Then today I opened my work email and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:14 PM
31

Man the part of men’s standards being even lower with female friendships spoke to me! I needed to hear this. I’m an inner tomboy but look like a model and had plenty of men around as friends. And I know some have been waiting for me to ‘slip up.’ They also act very oblivious, jealous or hateful if I am dating. Also even tho I am in my mid 30s I noticed guys want me around as currency too, like other guys are impressed they have me around and it makes them look better. There was a heavy/unattract…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:04 PM
44

A “nice” hip to waist ratio means it’s impossible to find a pair of jeans that fit me. I’m bitter after an unsuccessful weekend shopping experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:01 PM
27

They’re usually has to be some evidence of violence and they have to generally remove one individual from the premises. The person that they remove is usually the person that does not have any bruises on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:47 AM
15

Yep. There was evidence of assault (bruises or a broken window or something).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:46 AM
7

Um they did not confirm he gave her HPB, let alone the precancer cells. It’s just very likely that he did. HIV is different. If someone received a positive result and then knowingly had spread it to someone else, that’s quite easy to prove. However, in this case it’s not as clear-cut. If you read the article it says that the courts decided that it cannot be approved with absolute certainty that he is the one who spread it to her. Also, the article stated that men often times are not certain that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:42 AM
13

Yeah it’s one thing if it’s like “my mom gets my sister vitamins, Ill get some for you if you’d like” but then to segue to how amazing his sisters are...seems to be too much. I will say I think it’s a good thing he is close to his sisters and mom tho. I have an older brother and he really does seem to put me on a bit of a pedestal (he respects my focus and discipline), and I can imagine a woman he dates finding it annoying. But he praises me with friends/fam so it wouldn’t be something he does t…
/r/askFDS01/06/21 01:34 AM
60

As a lawyer, I’m a little surprised it held up in court BUT the rationale makes sense. I honestly don’t know enough about HPV. But she prob had evidence on her side- like records showing she got her HPV test the day after their date. I also wonder if his other chicks testified about his alleged warts. Anyway, I think she is BRAVE for coming forward. Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:32 AM
10

I agree. Which is why fibroids are overlooked. If it affects only women, who cares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:30 AM
5

I’m sorry :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:18 AM
40

My dads doctor called me after I accompanied him to an appt where he had an outpatient procedure. I thought it was kind but also slightly inappropriate. I read as much younger and wonder if I was naive how that would have went.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:16 AM
12

Thanks. I wanted to use it because I thought someone else doing some initial vetting would be helpful and seems less overwhelming than vetting/weeding through matches on apps. I’m thinking I’ll just avoid it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:13 AM
8

Yikes!! That sucks. Apparently I wouldn’t have to pay, otherwise I would not bother with this. That’s my concern too, that the men who is have some reason for needing to use this service. But she seems to be a well connected business woman that wants to change modern dating...she is in the start up/tech scene. I also suspect I’d be paired with men 45+ and I am trying to follow FDS advice re age gaps (I’m in my mid 30s). I’m doubtful men my age would use this service if they sound good on paper b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:11 AM
6

Yes I get that. And I would never consider a service like that. This lady has a start up and her whole thing is against the flakiness of dating apps. Maybe she is being dishonest but her whole shtick is connecting professionals. And I know even men on apps have age preferences but that’s not my concern. Idk if I’ll do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 10:08 PM
5

So RP is right? lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:34 PM
8

Why won’t they call me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:48 PM
24

Yes she wants to add me to her “rolodex” :( I am mid 30s tho...not a ‘young’ trophy wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:34 PM
48

Oh hell no. I am not going out with someone without some info first, and esp not without a pic! That’s kinda what I suspect, attractive women get in feee bc the guys are prob all short or dorks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:26 PM
29

How did she even find you from your OLD profile? I find that concerning if she was able to find your contact info from your profile. I guess bc I use a fake name and all. This lady works with young professionals that dislike modern dating. She is trying to change the dating culture. But she is an ivy leaguer and so are most of her clients...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:24 PM
3

Agreed! Fellow fitness enthusiast and weightlifter here. I am slim with a very feminine physique but strong as hell...and I get the same comments about needing to ease up on lifting and working out because I look fine how I am. Women do it too. Everyone asks me about my yoga...um i don’t do yoga and never talk about it, they just think fit slim woman = yogi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:46 PM
72

Wow $50k?! I wouldn’t spend 1% of that lol. This lady seems to be more specialized and her services are free for women, but again, we’re the product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:39 PM
4

My own brother who isn’t even 6’ said men that are taller (6’+) are more relaxed and easy going lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:15 PM
14

I was looking at a sub for dating advice foe the 40+ crowd and I think those women really need your message!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:12 PM
2

I’m famous! Lol. But seriously looking forward to the post, as I am catching up with that friend soon and while I won’t tell her she’s wrong, just want some balanced thoughts for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:32 AM
2

Ok good to know! Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:46 PM
79

I still do it. I have men get a little aggressive when I’m not interested in speaking and if I’ alone somewhere I tell them I have a BF so they calm down. I hate having to lie but I just don’t have the energy to deal with low key threats because I’m disinterested in a weirdo. I also value my life and safety. Once when I was younger and went to a friends wedding (her culture has a lot of aggro macho men) my mom gave me a ring to put on my ring finger to protect me from creeps. It didn’t work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:36 PM
6

Agreed. But the title and overall message of this post is not sound IMO. I think RP people display many other concerning traits but to take their social media tactic and lump in all male non-users as possessing a red flag isn’t very useful. Let’s not let RP concept drive our overall belief system...otherwise, they win. Just point out that RP might conceal their social media, but to reach the conclusion that men who do not have social media are RP/liars is steering this community of women in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:11 PM
8

They said “everyone’s on social media!” That’s why this line of thinking that social media = normal is harmful to society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:52 PM
29

Idk this is one of the first times I truly disagree with a post. I think we should examine the individual. Is he spiritual? Is he an individual that is not into mainstream culture? I have close male acquaintances that do not engage in social media because they understand the toxicity of it. I find that to be a green flag. I actually don’t date men that use social media unnecessarily, I understand the use for business/marketing purposes but I find it very low value to feel like you need to broadc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:59 PM
78

I don’t have social media at all. I hate social media culture and I am a meditator. 2 men I dated recently found this suspicious and seemed to think I was withholding it from them intentionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:41 AM
107

It’s a way for guys to feel entitled to your body (they ALL claim physical touch) while only having to focus on one area (call me pretty OR buy me flowers OR fix my car OR we’ll have date).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:25 AM
62

Right. Our needs in relationships vary from moment to moment. I don’t need gifts everyday, or acts of service on the daily, etc. I need a partner that can recognize and be receptive to my needs as they change. I like gifts and physical touch but what good is that when I’m sick or if my car breaks down? Am I on my own in all other areas? This is silly nonsense. My dumb dumb ex would say “but physical touch is my love language” whenever he would have the desire to grope me or want to get it on. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:23 AM
6

Ew. How did he get caught?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:11 AM
3

Oh ok. I know 2 women that got it in their mid 20s. Scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:00 AM
33

Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:11 PM
22

My gyno told me that my insurance provider (one of the biggest in the US) stopped doing standard testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia for about a year because of a shortage in swabs due to the increased need for covid tests. She is a queen and we were talking about our stock investments and she jokingly said I should invest in antibiotics bc there will be a lot more people with these STIs :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:08 PM
44

I get full STI panel immediately after then a couple months after every new partner (since some take a while to show up). I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Didn’t know about HPV being possible for virgin but I didn’t even swap spit with men til my mid-20s! Now I wish I never started lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:02 PM
12

Wow didn’t know. I had my first pap at nearly 30 bc I was a virgin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:08 PM
15

But if you’re not sexually active any longer, do you still need it every year?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:08 PM
44

That’s what I was going to ask next. Do you only get HPV from unprotected sex? And of you’re abstinent for years do you still need frequent tests?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:07 PM
40

It could also be an ex bf? If those condoms were around when she was sleeping with someone else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:34 PM
22

I thought cervical cancer is only sexually transmitted. Am I wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:31 PM
40

Why are we only advised to get them every 3-5 years? Do you get them more frequently?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:30 PM
4

Goodness. Also close to my dad, people ask “and you’re his...?” and i always chime in with “daughter!” I don’t think my foreign dad has ever even picked up on what people are implying bc there’s no way that would cross his mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:28 PM
55

I started doing this too lol. I am mid 30s so its true, men my age/older are hopeless. Men don’t react very happily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:51 AM
15

Wow I am so sorry. You’re strong lady. Your ex is despicable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:38 AM
5

Yes!! Thanks for articulating this so well. I just described the men in my former city as clones and said it felt like their thoughts, beliefs etc were all following a script. There was not much critical thinking or introspection going on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:29 AM
5

Curious for your take!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:14 AM
1

Cool that a male teacher was in on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:23 AM
4

Omg i was scared too, never beard that. As someone that lifts weights, that terrifies me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:20 AM
32

He passed on the Valentines day after his wife’s death. He sounds like stand up guy that believed in good. Not like these fake woke libs we have these days :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:16 AM
8

Genius
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:10 AM
12

Man I was a perfect victim to my ex that did all things and I fell for it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:09 AM
9

My friend said when she is dating someone she likes to pay too bc “she can pay.” I guess she thinks its fair to treat the man as well. She has a good paying job and typically dates men that make less. But she is pretty 50/50 in all things and doesn’t have that ‘caretaker’ or ‘therapist’ vibe that too many of us have. So I just wanted to offer that some women are doing it bc they want to...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:07 AM
3

May I ask how you’re realizing you have E-D? Did you get a genetic test? Curious bc I looked it up after listening to the podcast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:04 AM
6

Cool mom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:36 AM
7

Hahaha I love that girl, unbothered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:35 AM
32

What science does he study lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:33 AM
196

Brain scans show that the affects of emotional abuse are longer lasting and more harmful. My ex would stonewall me- would disappear for days or weeks whenever i got upset about something or if he was upset with me. It was so damaging to my spirit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:29 AM
6

I have been called both by the same guy lol. Prude when I wouldn’t hook up with him. And slut when I went on dates with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:53 AM
2

Right. Would rather be robbed of $$ than my time and soul...I can always get more $$.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:19 AM
40

POC/black woman here. Can confirm, the most “progressive libs” rarely pay attention to me. I lived in a super liberal city, barely dated white men...the ones that pursued me were not on my level and the others were very hung up exoticism/race. Moved to a more “moderate” city, and I get pursued equally by all races now...some fetishize me, sure, but surprisingly race is brought up MUCH less than with the lib bros.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:13 AM
26

LOL I am very fit and it’s always the potbellied men that want to critique me. It’s so ridiculous. Never had a fit man say anything about my physique but praise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:07 AM
17

Lol same!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:05 AM
11

That’s what I think, someone who is into this high adrenaline activities will be very bored once they have to cut back for a relationship/kids. And that seems hard to “compete” with...I am super active but I am also a homebody and want someone who is okay with lounging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:36 PM
14

I agree. I have friends that do silly risky things and while I am adventurous I don’t put my life at risk necessarily out of fear but I think about my mom/dad in those moments...I want to stick around for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:23 PM
8

Thanks. This guy does 100-200 jumps a month, and competes in skydiving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:21 PM
6

Ah good point about carry out from full service restaurants! I don’t think I considered a waitress is putting my order together. And they split the tips up for baristas. My friend worked was a barista and she said she sometimes would get generous tips from men but it never went just to her, it was split up with everyone who worked that day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:32 PM
11

I agree. I want loyal companionship, not a peen. The friendship isn’t ending but I am choosing to redefine it. It does me no good to have people in my inner circle that have different values and give me poor advice. It’s only making space for more supportive friends...or solitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:21 PM
26

Thanks! My bestie (former, distancing myself from her) acts like i am debbie downer bc I am disciplined and a prude. She tells me “have fun with him!” I honestly don’t have fun hanging out with men if I don’t see longterm potential. She went on exotic vacas and such with men who weren’t ready to commit (she paid her own costs too). She says she has no regrets and had a lot of fun doing these things and that she enjoyed her single years. I believe her...But that’s not for me. I would feel so empt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:47 PM
17

I was thinking that too. I did this once on a date during covid and we had to order from our phones and eat at the outside tables. It was the first and only time I paid for my meal on a date. The guy could have asked what I wanted and added it to his phone but he did not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:43 PM
10

Good point. But I don’t think it’s elitist in the least bit (POC daughter of refugees here). I think OP is good to reflect on her date and flags, and I was not there so did not understand his tone or intentions with his views. BUT I still wanted to share my take on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:40 PM
45

Thanks for posting this. This year I stopped dating around or hanging out with men I know aren’t for me longterm. Friends don’t understand why I choose to be alone and won’t have fun with guys until “the right one comes along.” This morning I began contemplating WHY I’m not just having fun (not necessarily sex) with men even if I know I don’t want to date them longterm. But this image kind of answers my question. If I don’t want to be with someone longterm it means something is missing and I don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:13 PM
3

I was on a call today with a monastic (female monk/nun) and she made a joke when talking about her first relationship before she joined the monastery that “we all know love only lasts for 3 months.” I found it funny that this spiritual woman that gave up romantic relationships kinda confirmed FDS rules regarding 3 months before exclusivity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:07 PM
50

Yep. I agree 100%. I was lonely a few weeks ago and slipped up and decided to text a LVM. He responded the NEXT day, fine..I did drop him so maybe he was salty. By the time he did reply, I already decided it was a mistake so I didn’t respond. Seriously ONE minute later he calls me back to back blowing up my phone. He expects an immediate answer yet took a day to respond to me. I have no time for such games. But I’m glad he played them bc otherwise I would probably be wasting my time with him aga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 05:36 PM
57

The biggest flag I see is even bringing up exes on a first date...smh. But honestly I live in a major city where many people take public transportation. Unfortunately its not uncommon to be harassed, assaulted or a witness to disturbing things.. so is it wrong that I kind of agree that such riders should be banned? If it was safer I think more people would ride it and that would surely help our environment. And yeah, the water thing would be pretty rude, unless you had an iced tea maybe? I don’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 05:30 PM
15

😊😊😊thanks. I could barely look in mirrors or at pics of myself before bc all I saw were my flaws. It feels good to admire myself. Soooo thankful for FDs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:16 AM
95

Yes! I think I have PTSD..I can’t date another guy and he turns out to be full of shit. I’ll vet..but still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:02 AM
52

She was my role model growing up! Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:55 AM
18

LOL valid points!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:53 AM
6

Just listened! Love the podcast and I learned a lot too. Both guests sound awesome and it makes me feel great to be a part of a community with such women. I also now wonder if I could be on the spectrum 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:28 AM
25

You will sis, keep up the self love and growth then one day you’ll see yourself with new eyes. It took over 3 decades. It just proves that happiness, self worth etc really does come the inside and outside factors/validation are pretty meaningless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:30 PM
27

Yeah I’m used to men WANTING to parade me around and honestly hate when they want to show you off with their friends like you’re a new purchase. I don’t get why women are tolerating being hidden or think that’s something normal. WTF. I would never even entertain a man that I think is remotely embarassed about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:49 PM
118

Omg same! Despite being told I’m pretty, gorgeous etc by friends, fam and strangers on a weekly basis for most of my life..and even being mistaken for a model, having school teachers tell me to go into modeling as a kid etc. I never really felt it and it made me uncomfy. I felt like it was an illusion and that I was an imposter of a beautiful girl/woman? But just in the last few weeks, something clicked. I look at myself now in the mirror or pics and instead of zoning in on flaws, I think wow lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:52 PM
106

I dated a popular guy who took me out to hotspot areas in our city. My pickme friend said it’s really nice he is taking me out in these areas and not trying to hide. Excuse me, I am way out of his league..why would he hide me?! The fact that women see that as a compliment is so damn sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:30 PM
79

I was on my terrace and saw a couple walking their dog. The woman was very pregnant and the man was well ahead of her and she was practically shouting just to speak to him. It made me sad but maybe the dog set the faster pace, idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:19 PM
4

Funny it wasn’t a Rolex. But when I told my guy friends the first thing they asked was the brand of the watch lol. It was a good brand but not ridiculously expensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:55 AM
3

Yep. I was talking to my mom about a relative that has pick me tendencies. She housed/cared for a guy for years while he was in grad school, he left her after graduated. Many other sad situations that left her broken, including abuse. My mom warned here constantly not to provide for men or to sacrifice for someone not committed to her. But I explained to my mom that she simply didn’t know better and her intentions were pure..she just wanted love and thoughy being supportive was what lovers do. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 04:13 AM
2

What about women that think they’re so different/better than “pick mes” bc they don’t “chase” men? I find the women most vocal about this and aren’t FDS minded are actually pick mes and don’t know it. I have a friend like this and when others discuss their problems with boyfriend/husbands she always says it would never be her blah blah. I’d rather address the issue/dilemma someone is facing and not say what I would do in a friends situation. And that friend does stuff with men that are so cringe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 04:00 AM
4

I love her. Her songs are all FDS worthy: No Reply and Damn I Wish I Missed My Ex were my break up anthems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:56 AM
16

Lol WWWMD what would white men do. I’ll channel their attitude, in this one area anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:54 AM
3

Um I kinda agree re Selena and the actress..similar complexion. What am I missing? Is it features?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:51 AM
98

I used to hang out with a lot of men (LV). From what I can tell, they really went for any “attractive” woman...but women their own age (like me) would never take them seriously and they simply had nothing to “offer” them. Most younger women wouldn’t either but occasionally they found someone naive enough to be (temporarily) impressed by them and it’s almost always a younger woman...or a desperate woman about to turn 30/35 and clearly afraid of the fictional wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:41 AM
4

I left my favorite bracelet (not pricey but trendy and cool) at my exes place. And he never found it. That bothered me. I suspect his daughter took it :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:35 AM
12

Do men do this on purpose? The first time my ex slept over he left his watch “by accident” and wanted to meet up a few days later to get it. My guy friends thought it was a ploy and wanted to make sure he could see me again. I kinda agree bc after that he never left anything behind accidentally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:33 AM
21

Aw your dad sounds awesome! And at mid 30s when everyone tells me to settle, I love that your mom met him at my age. This reminded me when I was in college (4 hours away from my parents) and my car was acting up the weekend I wanted to visit them. My dad didn’t even want me to deal with a mechanic on my own and insisted on driving to my town, get my car fixed, and also wanted to drive me back home for my visit (he was willing to do a 16 hour drive in one weekend bc I missed them and wanted a hom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:30 AM
86

Same. I’m happy to be older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:19 AM
9

Yeah those girls with their mouths covered 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:17 AM
9

My hero 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:15 AM
46

Truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:13 AM
2

Lol I used to have slight jealousy when I saw cute couples...I no longer get jealous after working in myself. But after learning about men, I have ZERO feelings when I see couples around. I don’t need one of those mens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:53 AM
3

Lol sign me up too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:44 AM
3

Your dad is right. I have read a few news stories where a husband/father offed his wife/kids and the articles noted “they had happy pictures and lovey posts to each other on Facebook recently”.. I think Shakespeare said “doth protest too much..”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:42 AM
9

I love Breeny Lee
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:34 AM
2

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:30 AM
7

I remember reading a case about a woman who was viciously abused by her hubby cop and could not get any help bc the entire county PD backed him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:27 AM
13

I am close to my dad, who desperately wants me to get married. I asked him if I should date a cop and he laughed..and said NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:25 AM
5

I frequent a city with a high Latinx population. I notice a lot of white men sexualize Latina women here for a “good time.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:35 AM
11

She said that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:34 AM
57

Ugh I am still open to dating but damn, I don’t want to have to live on guard for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:03 AM
1

Idk, I didn’t ask smh..I remember not being sure if I should being something or not, so glad I didn’t. He just brought blankets. He was hot and I ended up dating him for a while smh...he was what drove me to FDS lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:44 AM
1

I was invited on a picnic date and showed up..no food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:31 AM
2

Lol same same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:25 AM
2

I went on one coffee date pre FDS. The guy at least landed on a high end coffee shop...but still, he talked about himself the whole time. He asked me to dinner for a second date but in arranging it he brought up he is on a tight budget and didn’t want to take me somewhere fancy (I didn’t ask for dinner and if he learned about me, he would know I am vegan..veggies aren’t pricey lol). I ended up declining bc I found it so damn tacky to mention money to me as a 40 year old man...and he even told me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:11 AM
22

Lol same girl, same. I look back and think wtf was I doing. At least we’ve come a long way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:57 AM
52

Well even if you do communicate it correctly, people interpret through their lens of their own biases and also how they see you. And whats the point anyway, it gets you nowhere. I would prefer to talk about ideas and concepts rather than the details of my life but it is hard because I am still an open person when it comes to emotions, thoughts, beliefs..I don’t overshare, but I definitely can’t put on a front. My parents were right in telling me not to divulge too much to people...I used to thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:17 AM
36

LOL. I love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:59 AM
179

I LOVE this advice. I was a bleeding heart, open soul- sharing my vulnerabilities with everyone in my life. Never ever again. Don’t complain, never explain will be my new mantra :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:55 AM
10

Good for you! I really hate the stigma that pot smokers = lazy and irresponsible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:18 PM
53

My ex used my weed use as a control tactic against me. I have a doctorate, earn 6 figs, am extremely fit (work our 5 days per week), eat healthy, meditate, volunteer, and am a kind person. I understand the stigma of pot use but it’s something I enjoy both medicinally and spiritually. But I would much rather have a potential date just not date me when I disclose my use than continue to see me and constantly criticize my choices. I know I don’t date drinkers and simply don’t continue dating them w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:16 PM
3

Lol as someone not on IG, I find this problem so so so stupid. Why are men pressing buttons that they do not have to lol they can be pervs anonymously, but no...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:20 AM
2

Omg same! Every man that uses my restroom comments on my nice products... but they all use it thinking they’re at the spa lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:10 AM
3

I participate in an athletic activity that draws fit men that tend to be successful (its pricey). I didn’t “find” a HVM but I have been harassed, insulted, and put in uncomfy situation..including being hit on by a married man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:08 AM
2

Same same! I looked up meetups last weekend mainly to make friends in my new town, but think I’ll stick to my own hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:58 AM
1

Thanks for the reminder! I now remember why I did many things alone, even before FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:33 AM
7

Lol yeah I feel like young adult mainstream culture defines sociaL life = checking out new spots to drink and eat. How fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:59 AM
2

I want a $10k ring, minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:40 PM
11

Damn, poor lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:39 PM
70

Lol my ex’s parting words after our break up was “good luck.” Guess who came running back and had to be blocked?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:10 PM
1

Good for you. It’s not you or us. It’s them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:07 PM
1

OP said it’s been a year since her breakup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:06 PM
14

I matched with some women on BFF before deciding to delete the app. I actually ran into a a match randomly IRL as well as her other friend that she met on BFF. They just go out drinking together. Not my thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:03 PM
27

I have gotten a few messages from lurkers that try to relate to what I post and sometimes try to change my views..just weird. I just blocked messages now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:59 PM
3

It really is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:55 PM
81

Yes. This. I have a ‘friend’ that will reach out and want to know what I am up to but she is never even happy for me for good things nor supportive for the bad. It’s just a weird control/competitive thing. I don’t ask friends what/where/who questions but rather ask how like how are you? But recognizing LV qualities makes me realize those qualities in myself as well. I want to do snd be better, and check those icky toxic behaviors that I sometimes use in reaction. Since FDS I am much more aware o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:18 PM
28

It took me a LONG time to realize men were jealous of me. I thought men would be less competitive with me but nope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:07 AM
6

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:13 PM
23

Last Sunday I was laying out on a blanket in gym clothes at a waterfront park I frequent. This older man took notice and moments later he starts recording video of the water but did a complete 360 that ended with me in a quiet corner...nothing scenic about where I was posted up. I made eye contact with him and considered confronting him but I didn’t bother and felt like it would be “too presumptuous” sigh. Those girls in the airport are def brave!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:04 PM
36

I would say opposite, unless he is special/unique lol. Typically this happens when a guy hasn’t has sex or masturbated in a while...but we can’t be certain
/r/askFDS23/05/21 10:54 PM
39

I think having a conditioned women therapist is worse. I have had women therapists that still see through society’s lens on gender dynamics and looking back, I was given very very bad advice (at least from an FDS standpoint). These were successful educated, reputable professionals in a major US city.
/r/askFDS23/05/21 04:58 PM
3

Yes men love love love their imaginary rosters lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:52 PM
7

My ex helped a woman he used to date with handy things in her house when she moved (like put up pictures and hung her curtains). Spoiler: he dated her as soon as we broke up. I also had exes try and be supportive to me post break up. Spoiler: they later wanted more. I am jaded too and have a bars time believing a man can really do a selfless act for a woman without seeking a reward. Even if the reward is am ego boost for being a “hero”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:51 PM
13

Yeah looking back it makes me upset that my friend (she’s decade older) really thought it was sound advice...I think it’s so naive that she believed his statement regarding us lacking chemistry just bc I wouldn’t kiss him..she said she gets guys want to kiss to see if there is a spark or not. As if that guy really just wanted a kiss lol. The lack of chemistry was my boundaries (barely) being asserted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:44 PM
18

I’m in one of those professions and I would swipe left on guys with those jobs instinctively lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:17 PM
53

My friend said she dated a fat guy using that logic...but he cheated on her too. And that it was that much more insulting lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:16 PM
89

I used to cringe when men on bumble would complain in their profile about women only saying “hi” or “hey”...goodness, a woman says hi and you can’t take it from there? Sad sad sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:13 PM
17

Listen to New Rules by her- it’s basically a block/delete anthem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:25 AM
12

Sign me up for a man with those qualities!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:23 AM
17

I read somewhere that it should be asked as “So what porn are you into?” It implies that you assume/accept open consumption and likely watch it too. It’s disarming. I haven’t tried it tho. But I also come across as prude so it would catch men way off guard so idk if it’s a good tactic tbh.
/r/askFDS22/05/21 01:19 AM
25

Heart breaking. Sad thing is most women are oblivious to whats going on. I feel like all of Dua Lipa’s songs are FDS anthems. I love the lyrics of Don’t Start Now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:12 AM
24

That’s kind! I just wanted to warm ladies that just because someone is a good samaritan doss not mean they are high value, unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:05 AM
56

I like her confidence. But I checked her IG and don’t like some of the message regarding uniform beauty standards/expectations. Nonetheless, she appears to be successful, gorgeous and genuine in her beliefs!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:44 PM
50

Aw thanks for sharing! I love Keanu’s vibe. ETA My loser ex would help people whose car broke down too for nothing in exchange..but he was still terrible to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:16 PM
3

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:15 PM
5

It takes time. Honestly I think until I reached 35, i was internally obsessed because I still hoped deep inside that I would find a hubby. It wasn’t until (I mistakenly thought) I found the one and that failed/blew up in my face did I really truly learn to let go and create my own fulfilling life. Sadly we sometimes learn best by experience. I wish I had the insight you have at your age. Keep up the work, change isn’t easy.
/r/askFDS21/05/21 10:14 PM
44

I hung out with a guy for the second time and he showed me his IG pic with a ton of ‘hot’ women. Like okay...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:24 PM
2

Oops, sorry! I’ll take this down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:34 PM
23

Thanks! And lol @ good vibes only. I guess I struggle with it bc I reflect on friendships since FDS and its things/comments made in the last that upset me. I just read a book someone suggested on here regarding verbal abuse and didn’t realize that a friend would make jabs that really had no other purpose bit to hurt me- it was not useful criticism. But this was in the past and only 5-10% of the time. But you’re right, animosity is not friendship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:09 PM
6

Not about men, about friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:05 PM
21

He is in his 30s smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:56 PM
9

I’m in my mid/late 30s and feel same as you, hut as you said better late than never. And we’re still relatively young. Congrats on the freedom from the LVM, the world is your oyster!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:37 PM
62

🥰😍 I love him and how he dotes on his wife and is a hands on dad. And his wife is actually older than him..so much for the wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:34 PM
50

Things aren’t black/white. I’ve had that experience with nearly every guy- we cuddle and talk afterward. They were all LV tho. Men like those experiences and feeling close, but doesn’t really mean much. I think its wrong to assume all LV pump/dump. The truth is all LV I’ve been with look like great men on the surface.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:01 PM
53

He sounds great. But remember ladies even LVM want women to finish first. Every guy I’ve been with was adamant about it, bc of their egos and wanting me coming back for more. Didn’t make them HV tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:58 PM
74

I like this. I think its important to put men to work early on and make them demonstrate they like you with ACTS. Not just words or dinner reservations, but have them put in work...service my car, mow my lawn, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:56 PM
14

Sadly people treat others like this at ALL levels. If you have something they desire or value, they will want to be around you for those reasons. It seems it’s just worse and magnified when you’re at the “very top.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:35 PM
96

Hmm I’m still for it in a weird way. Sadly if you make men pay and hurt them financially, they’ll maybe think twice. You wasted my time or traumatized me, pay up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:32 PM
3

Not what I’m saying. He doesn’t directly go to prostitutes. He picks up women in these countries via dating apps.. and I suspect those women are sex workers, but I’m speculating
/r/askFDS21/05/21 12:28 PM
5

I dont think he is using prostitutes bc he uses dating apps and dates women there...
/r/askFDS21/05/21 11:12 AM
19

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:59 AM
240

My former best guy friend told me I must hate sex because I have had few partners, do not discuss my sex life, and do not like sexual suggestions/jokes. He bas gone to prostitutes before and is an extreme liberal that judges my political views...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:59 AM
104

I was a people pleaser for most of my life. It did not benefit me and it did not make me happy to see friends ultimately turn into users/moochers/abusers bc I had no boundaries. No one appreciated me. I come first now. The other day my mom said I changed because I only care about myself now and I responded with a proud “yes!!’ Don’t get me weong, I still work on being a good, pure person that treats others well- but that’s where it ends. I’m not concerned with someone else’s disappointment in me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:22 AM
4

Good for you!! I want a younger man too 😋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:24 PM
5

Smh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:03 PM
18

I love this answer! I always heard women say they should be fulfilled without a man and didn’t know if it was truly possible (tho I think few women actually get to that place due to conditioning). I tried faking that I felt that way but inside I knew I still really wanted a man for certain things. But this last year I had a huge shift. I really don’t get excited about men anymore and I can see a beautiful future without a man. FDS did this. It’s like once you hear the truth THEN see it everywher…
/r/askFDS20/05/21 06:18 PM
19

Agree. She is clearly an attractive woman based on these very men’s standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:07 PM
120

Oh please, men can stfu with their BS. I’m 35 and men of all ages stop and stare. They don’t know what they’re talking about, they just spew hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:27 PM
7

Thanks for sharing! My friend said I should get botox but based on what I see, natural aging just looks better! Tho I will say its sad that I am now used to see women with such tight foreheads that natural lines stand out way more these days. Facials and skincare procedures can be great to help skin nice and healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 03:01 PM
11

Lol someone thought my dad was my mom’s dad recently. There’s not even a significant age gap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:42 PM
20

This is why I refuse to try fillers..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:41 PM
38

I need to hear this. I’m in my mid 30s and people constantly comment that I look younger and it’s seen as this praise. It has started making me feel a bit self conscious and even ridiculous. I started thinking i would wake up one day and then look more like my age. And I feel silly when someone tells me they mistakenly thought I was younger, well bc I am not so it feels like I didn’t meet their expectation . I know there’s a mental, spiritual and emotional beauty to aging and I think the clarity…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:38 PM
16

I agree but I will say self love and self care goes a long way. One does not need plastic surgery to maintain their health, and healthy people glow and age “better.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:29 PM
9

None of those ladies would ever date any one of them lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:28 PM
24

I won’t make assumptions. But objectively looking at Kudrow and Schwimmer, I could say both had same work done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:03 PM
119

Please believe those guys get fillers too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:53 AM
4

LOL thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:45 AM
72

True. The ‘older’ female sex symbols we grew up with or see today (Halle, J-Lo) have to devote their entire lifestyle to accommodate extreme dedication to working out and keeping up their health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:22 AM
4

Absolutely! He isn’t thinking about the women’s perspective or what she will comfortably enjoy. All the men I know, and many are LV too, wouldn’t dare ask to meet a date in the wilderness lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:05 AM
45

Damaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:40 PM
16

Well I am outdoorsy but why would I want to do that for a first date with a stranger? I also eat everyday, so ask me to lunch at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:01 PM
25

Sigh yes. I finally had a guy ask me on a unique date idea but proposed it as “What do YOU want to do? I have some suggestions...” Although I liked his suggestions I did not like that his ego had to shift the question onto me and make it seem like I asked him out. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:43 PM
68

Lol I do have pics of me in nature so I get asked on LV nature dates often. But the nature pics are all exotic locations (Asia, Africa, Latin America) and I also have pics of me dolled up. Also I clearly have to eat everyday but men aren’t asking me out for meals lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:40 PM
10

Naomi can buy their whole lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:04 PM
12

Lmao love it!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:55 PM
5

Lol this made me miss my grandma. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:52 PM
8

Are they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:50 PM
17

Same! When I tell people I can’t drink bc it causes a bad reaction, they shrug snd still offer me a drink a minute later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:43 PM
28

She is so obtuse! I used to have mostly guy friends and even in our 30s they alllll encouraged me to drink more! Why? Bc they thought if I was drunk, I’d hook up with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:42 PM
34

Yes I can’t stand women like that- sis, I would have blocked your husband with all the back/forth nonsense lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:40 PM
142

Reminds me when I told my ex I didn’t feel comfy working out in just a sports bra at the gym and he replied “what if you had the body for it”? This guy was a slob that did not work out, meanwhile I had tight flat abs. They just don’t want us to feel good about ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:24 PM
31

Every unattractive man I dated (back when I thought it was the right thing to do) insulted my physical appearance! I have only dated handsome fit men since and they have never even came close to a physical insult! They always tell me I am beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:34 AM
41

Lol I am in my 30s and living in different cities but desiring a family. Thanks for sharing your private convo! Your friends last comment made me laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:33 AM
8

Thanks sis!! I started feeling like I have to prove myself to her/society/myself by settling with a seemingly decent man that I know is already displaying signs of low value behavior. I would only hurt myself by doing that. I know (thanks to FDS and life experience) I gotta keep strong, focused and value MYself. Everything else is icing :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:18 AM
6

Smart. You’re right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:16 AM
121

I went to the museum alone yesterday!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:13 PM
3

This! Basic economics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:42 PM
94

Thats how my ex got me- he was emotional, sensitive etc and every guy I dated never showed emotion like that. I took emotion = vulnerability = genuine feelings for me. But it was simply a way to control and manipulate me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:06 PM
36

I know what you mean. All “start up tech bros” are like this when they work for one of the apps that have made or big..they’re imagined gods in that world. But unless you’re a founder/creator, why have pride over it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:38 AM
9

I’m glad it didn’t. I know the feeling...and you realize how thankful you are to have a second chance/clean slate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:59 PM
25

I’m glad! I realized the cheap feel good option sounds so easy and fun...but it would be a disservice to all this work. Onward and upward! Good luck this week :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:42 PM
12

They sure don’t! Thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:08 PM
33

But women in theirs 30s and even 40+ can still have babies, and many still want that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 08:30 PM
7

I live in a major city and travel to major cities often. When I first joined these apps I thought wow so many lookers (they show you the best guys first). I’ve matched and chatted with these attractive professional men..but they still didn’t pursue me per FDS. A lot of them ask to meet for drinks, a last minute hang out or actually act timid when it comes to setting something up. I was surprised to hear these guys complain about their hate for OLD but I think the women they desire are not going …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:00 PM
9

Right! I value experiences but I also don’t like guys that think exploring is simply going to a new bar/restaurant...but thats far better than their couches. ETA I think they do like to have fun...with their friends. A lot of men don’t enjoy female company aside from sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:46 PM
10

I’m down!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:06 PM
14

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:01 PM
47

But its so dumb. Don’t they know if they invest a little, they get way more in return? Sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 10:05 PM
2

Thanks! I actually went to the beach yesterday and read outside. It was so peaceful and on my drive home I passed by a busy street of bars. Every group of friends seated outside were all looking down on their phones. I realized being around people can be more empty than enjoying nature, a book, or solitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 10:03 PM
82

Why do guys do this! Is it cheapness? I don’t get it the shortcuts. Why not just spend $30-50 that it costs for a city lunch if you seemingly want the woman to like you. Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:26 PM
18

Smart!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:39 PM
13

This happened to me before with a taxi driver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:39 PM
79

Why is it the unattractive men are the most critical? My hot exes never ever commented negatively on my looks. But my not cute, unfit ex would say shit all the time! He had a need to not “gas me up”...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:27 PM
20

Hehe me too. Its the only time I’ll let a guys glance catch mine..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:25 PM
55

Right, at least Beast was strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:24 PM
24

Yes!! The first guy I was with was not very attractive to me, but he felt “safe.” He did not work out, wore the same couple t-shirts everyday, and did not take care of himself at all. He was pretty damn low value in other ways too. Since him I only date fit men that are lookers (and pleasers). I love being with a man with a strong physique...someone I can look at and admire. I love grabbing a guys thick hair lol. Men require these types of things all the time, for them to even talk to a woman! O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:22 PM
79

True but I also slightly hate this message for the women that struggle with fertility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:13 AM
31

I struggle with this too. I am confident in my body..it’s strong and capable. But when I wear shorts or a fitted top and notice men staring, esp the ones with their gfs and wives, I wonder if I not show my legs/figure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:02 AM
4

Yea this. I cried this morning because I lost...hope and optimism. But it’s better to live in truth, as harsh as it is.
/r/askFDS15/05/21 11:31 PM
47

Yep, I also check closets and behind shower curtains in MY own home. I had a stalker that broke in and watched me...be vigilant, even at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:28 PM
66

Great voice and lyrics! This happened to me at the grocery store last year- ran into a doctor ex when I walked in. He saw me first and he literally bolted. He’s supposedly happily married living in a million dollar home.. so his reaction to me was funny. Then I saw him at a random facility a month later and he did the same thing, bolted to a restroom LOL. We didn’t have a bad break up but he did try and reconcile with me ONE month before proposing to his current wife. And I had called him out fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:20 PM
18

Lmao my ex had 2 camping chairs in his living room...and asked if I was with him for his money
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:10 PM
30

Man this next generation are so on point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:04 PM
18

Omg you really broke them down into 2 groups SO well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:53 PM
34

I travel too (25+ countries in last 10 years) but still have investments, savings and a down payment for a home. But I agree, the men that travel often seem unstable and are just chasing these thrills/experiences. I now reject most men that are nomads. And I agree, traditional men who stay in one place aren’t any better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:51 PM
6

How to get over feeling like a loser? Now that I don’t date losers and cut out most LV friends, my weekend nights are pretty dead. I don’t drink and that’s what most single people do my age do. I have some social hobbies and a full life but the weekends are a little tough being alone. I don’t love going out to dinners or shows alone bc men gawk or approach me...and so I feel vulnerable. It usually hits when one somewhat LV friend texts and asks what I’m up to on a Friday night..I just don’t resp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:40 AM
5

Right. I decline peoples offers to let me stay in their home and pay for hotels unless my visit is solely to spend time with the host. But at my age (and with my disposable income) I would never crash at a friends home to use as airbnb...at the very least, I would take the person to dinner or something. Last time she bought me a cookie and I was touched LOL..I was such a fool.
/r/askFDS14/05/21 09:21 PM
5

It’s hard bc she was a good friend and for most of our friendship we lived in the same city so I never felt used then. She used to invite me over for dinner many times. But we did have a shift when she moved. And we traveled a lot- tho now I do wonder if she just wanted someone to join her and split costs. ETA: you are right tho. I know the absolute truth. I realize if i picked men poorly up until recently, why should I assume I made any better choices with female friendships..
/r/askFDS14/05/21 09:06 PM
4

Aw waitress is a cool lady
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:03 PM
2

Happy birthday lady!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:03 PM
14

Truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:47 PM
6

Consider it a blessing. Trust me.
/r/askFDS13/05/21 05:09 PM
24

Thanks for sharing! How I feel summed up in her lyrics: Real dudes a myth They on a decline Real dudes extinct Real dudes a lie Dude I thought saw your worth That shit got declined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:23 PM
22

Lol i want to save this and send it to men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:28 PM
123

Exactly this. She makes 4x less and is likely selecting homes based on his budget. And he also probably consumes more than her. What does she get from being with him? He isn’t subsidizing anything for her and he’s a decade older. He has a free bang-maid that gives him a 50% discount on life. Lucky guy...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:08 AM
2

LOL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:33 PM
9

Damn. Fair prediction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:24 AM
62

My self made ex was almost 40 and had a futon and lawn furniture in his living room. He once asked if I was with him for his $ (that he never spent on me). What a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:22 AM
21

Oh gosh. That hit me hard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:11 AM
8

Haha really? I was going to say someone needs to send her here. Damn she didn’t see the light.. You can lead a horse to water..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:11 AM
28

I have a doctorate level degree and I supported myself with some help from my parents. I truly could not imagine having someone support me financially AND feeding me AND doing all my housework. FOR FREE. (Not even counting the sexual and emotional therapy he received during a stressful academic track). I would feel forever indebted to such a person, as I do towards my parents. This guy is an animal. It sucks that a lot of women resort to marrying such men bc of pressures..I won’t judge her choic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:10 AM
20

Hmm interesting post, but can you explain a little more. So I am over my ex but to ise an example- when we first broke up I kept thinking how cultured, well traveled and interesting he is (he marched to the beat of his own drum). I thought I’ll never meet a man so interesting. But in hindsight I am also cultured, well traveled and dare I say, more interesting and unique than him? I also now realize he didn’t add to any of those experiences that I value. So with your suggested lens, is it that I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:03 AM
1

Of course not lol
/r/askFDS12/05/21 12:12 AM
15

Oh no, your poor friend. I was actually home alone when it happened and it’s something that still upsets me... it also hit my parents hard and til this day they worry about me living alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:54 PM
48

Aw thanks guys!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:03 PM
4

I remember ending things with a semi-famous guy via text and he went OFF ...he told me that while I am attractive and smart, he lives in a major city that has thousands of women just like me but they had a personality that is less “odd” than mine lol. Then he tried to get me to continue to see him. Like wtf. If theres an endless supply of women like me but better, why are you so desperate for my attention? Oh bc those women were actually smarter than me lol
/r/askFDS11/05/21 07:47 PM
3

So if you were seeing someone for 4 weeks or so you would just say you’re no longer interested after blocking? I can block/delete after a date but it’s so hard for me to do once I feel like we got to know one another. But I would do the slow fade and that’s probably even worse. I went on 2 dates with a guy and just made up excuses when he asked me on more dates..he got the point. But i just ran into him on a running trail and I pretended I didn’t see him :(
/r/askFDS11/05/21 07:43 PM
3

Thats so hard for me to do if I go out with someone and have a good time but realize I do not like them for some reason.
/r/askFDS11/05/21 07:33 PM
55

Ahhh the scrotes is what makes the comments seem higher. Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:28 PM
187

I see this with my aunts and uncles. My single aunts are doing well- they are generous with family and always the ones to help people out. My single uncles are struggling and the ones other people have to bail out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:27 PM
40

Yep. I moved at 21 within a weeks notice after some creep stalker in the neighborhood broke in to my place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:24 PM
80

Yes, I think it’s a control tactic. Like my demand (the test) has to now be on his terms in order for him to participate. And he knows I’m very reserved and private, and that I wouldn’t want to go to a random clinic with him. In hindsight I am shaking my head at old me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:22 AM
136

What is this? My ex did this. He didn’t care, I wanted the test. Then he said it’s only fair we both do it, I said of course (I got tested routinely). But then he insisted we get tested together, which is not how my insurance works- I do it at my nurses office...also I don’t want him to come with me to my doctors office. He flipped out then cried unfairness. At the time I was so confused, but now I get he was just a LOSER that I should’ve run from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:48 PM
3

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:14 PM
41

Oh man you articulate this so well. I experienced it too. My ex sounded soo good on paper with plenty of examples, but the reality is that the person I experienced was not great to me. Who cares if he does xyz for joe and jane if he was never thoughtful with me. I still do this. Following dates with men, I catch myself describing them to be way more amazing than they actually are. ..so I stopped talking about my dates to help break this habit. It’a funny, you would think I’m their PR person or s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:05 PM
40

I’m at the place where I have lost the desire/need/belief in fairytale nonsense. It’s nice to hear someone found a healthy partnership after that realization.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:57 PM
30

Yes! He might as well have been poor...made no difference for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:15 AM
67

Omg you dated my ex. He had a lot of money but was frugal, I mean my friend that barely scrapes by is more generous with me. And he had the nerve to ask if I was with him for his money...lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:14 PM
44

Some of these old scrotes already raised a family and state they don’t want kids. They have literally nothing to offer...not even expired sperm lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:12 PM
4

Yes!!! I just recently realized this about an ex. He felt beneath me so that’s why he always created drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:22 PM
118

Goodness. Poor girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:10 PM
28

So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:57 AM
39

I loved a slinky as a kid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:46 PM
21

2-3 times is too much for 10 days in. It should be once a week foe the first month. You should have hobbies, other dates and things filling your schedule. Read the handbook.
/r/askFDS08/05/21 06:54 PM
1

Yes this. I declined an outdoor museum type date. They are fine, but not for a first date. There’s no vetting going on and you walk around awkwardly taking in the exhibits but also trying to get to know someone...just doesn’t work. It’s also pretty low effort but sounds more sophisticated. Where I am, many museums are free or $10 or so for tickets. That’s not on par with dinner at all. I’d rather have a guy try to impress me by treating me to a nice meal where he can sit and explain why I should…
/r/askFDS08/05/21 06:51 PM
5

Yes this! I don’t go on nearly as many first dates since FDS and I am very unlikely to go on a second date these days. I see men as replaceable.
/r/askFDS08/05/21 06:47 PM
3

Women should remember to get their pap smears as recommended by their doctors. Early detection is key!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:33 PM
9

What’s funny is a guy I dated 5 years younger than me also said women in his city were “stuck in their ways” and kept raving about how I’m just like him. He thought I was easygoing bc I didn’t say much (observed/listened). It really is not about age, it’s about finding someone moldable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:59 PM
14

Lol I just counted the other day. 9 in 3 months!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:53 PM
1

I actually just did. Just want to be sure I understand it when applied. Thanks!
/r/askFDS08/05/21 02:34 AM
1

So why is this guy asking me what i’d like do with some suggestions different? Bc they’re lame ideas?
/r/askFDS08/05/21 02:30 AM
7

Yeah I think he’s def intimidated by me. Thanks for answering! For future reference, is a guy asking what type of food or restaurant I want to go to also a problem? Or should he do alllll the planning without asking my preference?
/r/askFDS08/05/21 02:21 AM
12

You are correct. His initial ask was “What would you like to do? I have a few suggestions if you’re not sure- visiting a historic property or ice skating...” LOL I just declined and said I don’t see this working. I would block/delete if I didn’t take so long to act on what I know. Abundance mindset.
/r/askFDS08/05/21 02:10 AM
1

Thanks!! Can you answer my question if you have time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:45 AM
6

I understand that. We live in different cities about 30 minutes apart so I can maybe just maybe see why he asked me for suggestions. But last Sunday on our phone chat he said he would touch base in the middle of the week to make plans for this weekend. I didn’t hear from him until today. He does seem awfully nervous and all. But I wanted a nice brunch or dinner date that I can get all dolled up and eat a nice meal. I tour gardens and museums alone all the time so being dined and such feels more …
/r/askFDS08/05/21 01:44 AM
1

It suddenly worked. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:33 AM
1

I have joined. But when I try and post it just blocks me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:22 AM
7

Yep mine is flutter too but I go deaf for about 10 minutes! Guys can’t tell it happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:09 PM
8

So I am not vocal whatsoever but do the get the quivering legs. But I also experience muffled sound and tinnitus (ringing in the ears). It’s weied because I go temporarily dead for up to 10 minutes or so then get quiet because it’s uncomfortable to talk and not hear myself..I also don’t want to talk bc I’m in bliss. In hindsight it’s awesome because I literally can’t even hear the guy and I feel like I’m in my own peaceful bubble lol. Oh and men get upset thinking I didn’t finish because my sign…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:07 PM
45

Yeah I would be turned off and wouldn’t even want to respond with a request for an uber..def wouldn’t want to give my addy either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:14 PM
68

Until FDS I thought I was the only person who thought the right choice of words would let a man see the light and understand me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:16 PM
35

Oh this helps me. I am over my ex but he still reaches out and a sappy valentines day really triggered me (he is blocked/deleted now). I never replied but since then I do have feelings of anger and disgust towards him and feeling like he has no idea how I feel about our experience. But I realize him sitting there confused as to why I am completely ignoring him is best. Picturing him dead, even better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:15 PM
3

Agreed! Thanks :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:30 PM
3

ADVICE PLEASE!! Should I block/delete yet? Had a phone chat with a guy from an app on Sunday. I was already a little annoyed by his inability to schedule a phone call, so it took days for it to happen and we even played phone tag...sigh. The convo was good, he was engaged..asked questions and shared about himself. I played it confident, acting like he was auditioning for me. I did sense I am smarter than him and likely more stable in my career but he holds his own. As the chat was winding down h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:35 AM
12

Like the boxer who just murdered his pregnant girlfriend of 11 years! Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:49 AM
6

Flags: 1. Inviting you on a last minute group date for the first one (2 strikes). 2. Having you pick the location of the first date. 3. Asking to shower at your place - he could plan better rather than ask such a weird thing. 4. Asking to spend the night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:43 AM
2

My ex bestie put a post on social media thanking her fiance for “marrying someone like her.” Sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:39 AM
13

Yea! I am working on being silent in all areas, not just with men. No need to explain my agenda, goals and roadmap..To anyone. Just live and let the results speak for itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:29 AM
8

Yea! I am working on being silent in all areas, not just with men. No need to explain my agenda, goals and roadmap..To anyone. Just live and let the results speak for itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:29 AM
40

Yea! I am working on being silent in all areas, not just with men. No need to explain my agenda, goals and roadmap..To anyone. Just live and let the results speak for itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:29 AM
32

Hehehe mine too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:26 AM
74

Lol this!!! Love languages is an excuse for a guy to say he shows his love by “physical touch”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:26 AM
8

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:45 PM
57

Lol i get called stuck up, stand off ish and bougie alllll the time...I just realized its a compliment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 04:25 PM
20

Yes! I always dated older men and thought it was flattering lol...now I know I was just the dumb dumb and women their age could spot the flags and would never tolerate their shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 03:48 PM
51

Yesterday I saw a woman struggling to lift a piece of furniture. I was driving out of my parking structure to meet some friends. Asked her if she needed helped then pulled over and we carried it to her apartment together. It made my day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:47 AM
176

Translation of all of them: “I like younger women because a man hasn’t traumatized them yet, so it will be easier for me to do.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:31 AM
2

Thanks! I have a long history of people pleasing (starting with parents). I’ve changed a lot but it’s been hard with a small handful that were “grandfathered in”...I think its because I don’t think they realize they are doing anything wrong. I’m trying to maintain my boundaries with friends, and if i don’t offer you to stay with me but you still ask..I see that as pushing them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:26 AM
22

Eek my guy friend is 40 and was dating a 27 yr old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:49 PM
20

Sigh. This makes me so sad. Bc I’ve felt that before...and now I realize I was just happy to have pretty much nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:44 PM
8

This gave me a headache :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:53 PM
7

In many cultures women don’t change their names, as children use their fathers name for life. My family is from one of these cultures so I never planned to change my name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:51 PM
47

Women can have children solo. No need for a man at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:47 PM
56

Omg the last guy that pursued me said all 3 things lol.SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:51 PM
4

I read this last night and was disturbed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:48 PM
4

Yes. Bur I had to stop putting pressure on myself to make my exit be at the “perfect time or in a smooth way. I won’t be abrupt or rude but other than that, I just honor how I’m feeling. Good luck! Use each opportunity as “practice” and then you start being less harsh on yourself. The funny thing is people use “confident” to describe me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:09 PM
6

How can I avoid having a LVW friend stay at my place? She’s the type of friend that uses my place as a crash pad and leaves me feeling like a hotel. She makes plans with others but doesn’t do anything with me but comes over shower and sleep (comes late, leaves early). If i want to catch up, it means i stay up late and am exhausted for my weekend...and last time she asked me to make her tea when i stayed up late to let her in. She’s competitive with me but is like a decade older than me. She also…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:35 AM
15

I just unmatched a guy because within an hour and a couple exchanges he asked to “hangout” then suggested tonight (its already well into night where I am). Ew! He’s 39.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:25 AM
5

I have a problem leaving early, not just on dates but other social settings as well...I think it’s because I’m awkward, so I hate having to break the flow to say goodbye. Guys definitely don’t make it easier...its pretty common for men to want to keep the date going or neg me into staying longer. But since FDS my main focus is maintaining my own boundaries and I do not consider how a man will view me interpret my actions..but i’m always polite and respectful. My focus has shifted so I have no pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:00 AM
3

I had a guy acquaintance refuse to drive me and a friend back home from a wedding in a city an hour away because I turned him down that night and was being friendly with another man. This was before uber too and it was past 1am. Luckily we found guests who were also heading back to our town.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:52 AM
6

Good points! I stopped caring much about hobbies, interests, tastes etc. I live my own life so those things don’t matter much to me. I care about common VALUES. Not enough people focus on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:48 AM
3

FDS has helped me not take men seriously. Everyone I encounter one, I feel like I am on a safari. But I read and researched the species so I know how to identify and safely move about them. Thanks ladies..so grateful for this knowledge! Know you are saving lives by participating in this. 🥰😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:07 PM
12

More like 17, 18? She has time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:14 PM
98

I now talk to men with 0 care, hope or investment. It goes much, much better. I reflect the effort I receive, nothing more. I don’t initiate, never ask for a #, and take no role in the planning a date- I say yes or no, that’s it. I won’t even send a first text when a guy gives me his # in an app, I simply respond with my # (after vetting and if I know I want to continue talking to him and with real plans to meet). Sure some convos go nowhere, but I don’t care bc I put in little effort. Best of a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:07 PM
29

Yay I bet he’s married, hope she finds out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:09 PM
5

That’s a very smart six year old. And a very dumb dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:59 PM
3

I don’t think I’ve gone single week in my adult life without being subjected to abuse then :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:58 AM
5

‘Woke’ men are the worst
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:29 AM
28

LADIES!! Statistics on single parent households are interpreted without considering economic factors. Children born/raised by single women with stable finances do not show the same outcome, they do fine. Single motherhood by choice is totally different. Do you know why children of ‘single mothers not by choice’ don’t do as well? Bc a NVM abandoned his responsibility. So they are to blame for those statistics. Lesson: be prepared for single motherhood either way you go. Get that money (options an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:24 AM
10

Lol he knows my plan. Minus the foodie dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:18 AM
12

Me too! Years ago I just decided to do these things alone instead of waiting for friends to be down to join me. I even go on hiking trips solo, obviously we have to be smart and safe about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:08 PM
3

Just constant reinforcement. You will mess up and backtrack because you can’t change your mindset over night. But as long as you reflect, recognize your mistakes/backtracking, you’ll get stronger and stronger. Don’t give up and be patient and forgiving of yourself. I never thought I would be at this place where I simply don’t care about a mans opinion. I know what I am, and if I don’t respect and value that, who will? Also, it becomes comical after a while bc you see nearly all men do/say the sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:23 PM
9

It takes time. You sound like me and initially after FDS I still cared about how a guy I like will perceive me. With time I stopped even caring, even if it was the rare guy that seemed interesting. My emotions are removed from the dating process. The FDS mindset that HE needs to show ME he is worth my time eventually clicked. I literally think I’m a queen now. Change is gradual, you’ll get there if you stay on this path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:46 PM
149

Thanks! Every weekend I feel pressured to go on dates or hang out with LV friends who spend it just drinking and that leaves me feeling empty. I recently decided to go out to the beach, parks, nature and things that make me happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:36 PM
2

I mean thick thighs and booty are definitely in. But seems like men still want that on a thin woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:27 PM
33

The CD (corrective dysfunction) guy that messaged you simply didn’t know that there are various spellings for some English words (American vs. British, for example). How sad to not know much about your own language and have to find out by trolling women online lol. Anyway, thanks for posting this sis! A great reminder. Sometimes I feel guilty for cutting off a LVM because he did something nice for me (bought me something I like, sent me flowers etc). Even a guy friend told me that a lot of men d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:49 AM
30

Good for you. More importantly, you’re not living in a state of anxiety or fog/confusion due to a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:04 AM
26

You think? My ex boyfriend told me not to believe her because she puts up a “cool girl” front. And they weren’t together but were “talking” and sleeping together and he claimed to be sexually exclusive with her. I found that hard to believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:15 AM
62

Yeah we had a huge shift in our friendship when I spoke up. He would always be “out of town” and flaked on her time and time again. She even had to stay with me when he canceled on her plans to come into town and crash with him. I never told her, but I suspected he had a wife/partner. She said she went to his apartment once and it was unusually empty. She slept over and the next day he had to go out of town, but she still had another day in town. She said she could stay with our other friend the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:21 PM
125

Lol my guy friend sent me a study about dad bods being most favored. I told him it was male propaganda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:50 PM
54

Wow that first BF is something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:29 PM
13

Great post! I’m all ears lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:27 PM
77

When I was young n dumb my mom flipped out when I said I would never want a pricey ring (someone I knew had a $50k ring). She went on a rant about how it’s a deposit and if I have to walk away, at least I have that $$$ for my troubles. I thought that sounded archaic. Funny how moms are always right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:26 PM
28

Yes lady! Do you, indulge in all life has to offer. If the right one comes along, awesome..but don’t hold yourself back from enriching opportunities and experiences, even if its just flirting, bc you put someone else before you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:23 PM
165

Thanks for posting! My close friend believes everything men say...she got mad at me when I told her her situationship partner was lying to her (it was quite obvious, trust me). She said until its confirmed, she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and believes THEIR WORD. I just think thats silly and trust and belief needs to be earned with men, if not most people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:20 PM
34

Yes!! I did this with a guy friend, it can cause a scene but I can no longer tolerate disrespect lol. We were grabbing a bite and the server just brought over our drinks when he said something that insulted me. I usually would waste my time going back and forth but I just got up and walked out, called an uber and went home. He was stunned lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:05 PM
15

FDS actually made me change how I view my mom. Ive been a daddy’s girl my whole life, we are both “chill”...mom always seemed too high strung and irrational. But now I get it, she did everything and worked her ass off. Even now, my dad has health issues and can’t work...my mom cares for him and holds it down. She can retire early but wont. She deserves much more than flowers, taking her to Hawaii when covid ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:03 PM
36

Ugh I would have walked away at the movie kiosk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:46 PM
19

I just called a flower shop in my parents town and arranged for a nice floral delivery for my mom on mothers day. It took 5 minutes and cost $100. My ex reached out on valentines day with a pathetic text that took no effort, planning and didn’t cost a penny. I thought the least he could do is send me flowers or make effort if he really wants to reconcile after all the shit he put me through last year. I blocked/deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:51 PM
4

Yeah, I didn’t know how to feel lol. His relative has little children so she wanted them to know she would be around to help care for them after they passed...so sweet gesture. But yea, agree..it wouldn’t be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:34 PM
6

Good for you. I also cut off communication with a friend and later did not attend her wedding. She would do things like include me on group texts wishing everyone else a happy birthday and forgetting/ignoring mine. A week after my bday she sent a bday text to our other friend on a group chat that included me. Stuff like that for years. She also had a meltdown when someone said we were both pretty, she always had a weird thing where she wanted to be the pretty one. I remember my last attempt to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:41 AM
6

It depends on where you live and the guy, it can be regional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:40 AM
13

I went to a friends small covid wedding in the fall. We played a game and one of the questions was who proposed. We all assumed the groom did, but turns out she did. Her table of fam/friends were stunned. I found it weird she even put it on there, they chose the questions. But later she did explain it was bc the grooms relative was very ill and she was close to them as well and wanted them to know that they were serious and committed before they passed away. So she suggested they get married in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:33 AM
73

Omg I had his same experience almost 10 years ago when I was young and dumb. I was a virgin by choice! and never dated but started hanging out with these older more experienced women bc I was advanced in my education/career for my age. We all went out and this very cute guy chatted me up the whole time. He was visiting from another city. When it was time to go, we said good bye. Then my friends coaxed me into asking him to keep in touch and exchange numbers. I stupidly went back to him to do tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:05 AM
6

Yuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:34 AM
109

I am tall and slim, and a lot of men have voiced that they like my height...which makes me think they just want “good offspring”. I was also called “legs” at my old gym🙄 Btw I just want a man at least 5’10, which is an inch shorter than me. And men have berated me for that lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 09:11 PM
5

It is a res flag, not even when its flirting. My ex would do it with women he clearly he wasn’t into..he did it as a show FOR ME. Like look how charming I am. Ironically when an older man politely complimented me in his presence, he all of a sudden became a mute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:35 PM
111

Omg right. I would run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:00 PM
3

Yeah interestingly I’m friendlier and chattier to servers and cashiers when I’m solo. When I’m with someone, I’m still perfectly polite but don’t chat then up as much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:05 PM
2

I dated a frugal millionaire (I confirmed this many times). He retired in his 30s and lived in such a ridiculously cheap way that was not enjoyable. He was almost 40 but slept in hostels and campgrounds when traveling, lived in a crime ridden neighborhood, drove a shitty loud car, and only liked free dates. I made a dinner reservation for his bday and he refused to go (probably bc he didn’t want to feel bad that I was treating us to a nice meal since he always went the cheap route). But the funn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:54 PM
2

She is afraid to walk away sadly, and needs validation to make the decision that she already knows is right for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:47 PM
58

I went on vacation with a week long 44 year old man and he only packed 1 pair of underwear. We had to stop at a Target to buy him more..sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:20 PM
7

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:09 PM
36

Oh my
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:18 AM
2

I just saw a profile of a 32 year old that said the person he quotes the most is Kevin Samuels and he hopes we “know how a woman should treat a man”. This guy has no degree and no job listed. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:10 AM
2

Haa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:45 AM
127

Yup. My ex was OVER THE TOP with service workers, mostly women tho. They seemed to know it was fake too. I did too but indulged him and told him he was so friendly 🙄 It doesn’t take a genius to know this is something people watch for. I hear it EVERYWHERE- watch how they treat waitstaff. We can’t really use that as a factor to affirm someone anymore, but def should still use it to weed someone out if they’re a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:12 AM
81

Lol a 40+ year old man I matched with turned our convo to “his love for coffee”. Then he asked what my fave coffee shop and then asked if I have gone to any in this nearby town. Goodness, it was pathetic. I unmatched before he could even ask me to a coffee date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:06 AM
15

Right, I can understand it being applied to explain an archaic LAW but not as an explanation for shitty human behavior lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:59 AM
27

I would be turned on too. I have dated well to do men and I have never been out with a guy that left a tip better than I would. It always made me cringe but my friend is a servers and she put me in the habit of tipping well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:29 AM
10

Damn. And ew at forgetting his wallet. My ex did that a couple times and would pay me back in cash..kinda hated it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:27 AM
14

Sounds great! Esp the picking up/dropping off when its not convenient for him. I lived 20 mins outside of a city my ex lived in. We decided we wanted to see a movie and picked a theater about 15 mins from each of us. We rarely went out on dates..and this was just a movie. So at 2pm we agree on the 8pm show, but don’t discuss how we will get there or anything. I do not hear from him until 7:45 when he is on his way to the theater. Now, I did not expect him to offer me to drive but the fact he did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:21 AM
16

Lol truth.. chicken fingers and all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:12 AM
5

Agreed. I live in the east coast and it is sorta normal for 30somethings to be single but still want a family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:06 AM
5

Thanks! Definitely planning on doing solo route in a year or 2. But I agree. I know a guy that changed his profile to say he wants a relationship only once he learned he’ll get more women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:11 PM
11

Nah all apps are like this- you’ll get thousands of likes...99.99% garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:11 PM
48

I went on a walk date and the guy lectured at me the whole time, seriously...he didn’t even notice I looped around back to my car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:10 PM
7

Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:08 PM
2

Lol i LOOOVE her response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:05 PM
5

Um I want kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:50 PM
16

Ok. I guess I question if a younger man that wants kids is taking me seriously given everyones belief about 35+ women. I’m really in good shape tho and feel more compatible with men younger than me, so I will certainly give it a try. Thanks again sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:55 PM
17

Right, thanks for your input. I read that study someone posted a few days ago and it showed that 40+ men were very unlikely to marry unless they were previously divorced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:47 PM
11

K thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:46 PM
15

Fair enough. But then what about me? I mean I spent my 20s in graduate school and starting my career, traveling, working on myself etc. and didn’t really date until my 30s. So should I limit myself to men around my age?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:59 PM
17

I am curious about your post! You said to run from men 40+ who never had kids but want them. I’m 36 and still would like to have a kid (if possible, but open to doing it solo in a year or 2). I meet a lot of 40+ men who have never been married and have no kids, but want them. I feel like since I’m not that far off in age, I don’t hold it against them as much for wanting to start a family later in life. So please share your wisdom and suggestion as to why I should run from such men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:10 PM
31

He needs to banned from dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:05 PM
45

I agree! FDS has been mind opening and I’ve been practicing it...but I know the challenge really starts when I meet a man I actually like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:04 PM
9

I thought surrogacy means the “carrier” is not the bio mother, just her womb?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:59 AM
43

That’s so sweet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:57 AM
5

Lol I feel her. If someone asks me what I do for fun one more time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:18 AM
17

I am assuming getting involved emotional games/rollercoasters and reacting to nonsense from people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:16 PM
14

I said he loves with a roomie. I live alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:14 PM
17

Yep, this sums up post FDS mindset
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:23 PM
30

Lol yea. I was hesitant stating that in my profile in my mid 30s but men damn near 50 have no problem doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:20 PM
60

A 39 year old living with a roomie just asked why I won’t marry him already and stop wasting my time...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:31 PM
10

Yea they would do it to her too lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:20 PM
53

Yep. Even if I don’t know you yet and we’re chatting on a dating app- over 2 days and no response, I unmatch. Even if it’s a day and I see you’ve been on the app in the meantime- unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:19 PM
28

Haha cool move!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:18 PM
102

Agreed. I live in a city with a lot of single professionals in their 30s-40s. It’s embarrassing how these 40+ year old men still talk about partying, post on IG everyday and still want to settle down and have kids “in the future.” I’m not nearly as concerned with the 20somethings doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:16 PM
12

Yes I think the first month (at minimum), the guy shouldn’t even let you pay. He should be courting you and for me, I want that to formally last at least a couple months. I agree tho, I naturally want to reciprocate. Most men that really want to date me usually turn me down when I do offer. I’ll pick up stuff in ways where it’s not making the guy uncomfortable. Servers generally hand the guy the bill anyway and the times I have tried to pay the server makes it so the guy would feel like a real l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 03:39 AM
19

Omg you have a good point re emotional manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:50 AM
3

Hmmm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:51 PM
3

😇😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:47 PM
2

Yes, I was a people pleaser with people close to me so once I had a few dates with a guy, it would be so hard for me to cut them off. No more! And I agree most women fo not reach this point or can even comprehend that it’s really possible. I certainly did not. Women always told me to “stop looking and he comes into your life” etc but that advice is different than FDS. I hope I don’t ever lose this clarity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:29 PM
16

This is it! That was always my down fall with women friends. I would be overly nice, passive etc then their behavior would shift. I had to distance myself from such peoplep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:00 PM
8

I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I tolerated a lot from a former best friend and am distancing too. We traveled together and 99% of the time she picks the destination. The 2 times I picked a location, she complained the whole time. I even covered some of her costs when it was my choice locations, even though we always split everything when its a destination she picks. She also would visit my city and use my place as a crash pad or baggage storage and never make plans or time for me. She’s a good frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:54 PM
38

My ex was 12 years older than me and always gave me thoughtless gifts. For one birthday he asked if I wanted to go to the mall and pick out my own gift but it “can’t be too expensive.” This was while we were on a vacation I 100% paid for lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:49 PM
55

Lol I love how you handled that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:41 PM
13

What about a guy that asks me out the day prior? I obviously say no but not sure if I should block/delete or give them a chance to ask in advance. I’m leaning towards the former.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:38 AM
23

It takes practice every day. And patience. Be gentle with yourself. What would you say to a friend who was beating themselves over past mistakes? Apply the gentleness to yourself. You learned from the past and it’s not like life is over. Start new today and be compassionate to yourself. We ALL have regrets from the past. Trust me, I do. When I get too in my head and mad at myself, I do a lot of self care (from cold eye patches in the morning, working out or sitting by the ocean). I just treat my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:47 AM
29

Some days are still hard, but I know I’m on the healthiest path. Thanks sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:14 PM
23

“Thousands of former “confirmed” bachelors get married each year, usually to women they’ve known for less than a year or whom they’ve been going with for many years.“ “If you meet a man who has had a long-term relationship, make it clear to him that if he dates you for a certain length of time, you’ll expect a ring. If he doesn’t understand that, you haven’t done your job. Don’t think his affirmative response to such a declaration is a precursor to his making a commitment. He’s strung many women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:10 PM
12

Sis I know what you mean. Like you really see things as they were/are. I recommend meditation to help you stop thinking back and replaying, and just accept what it was/is. I recommend Tara Brach’s guided meditations on radical acceptance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:31 PM
8

Yes I’m in my mid 30s but have much less dating experience. I only started dating seriously in my early 30s and feel like I had NO idea what was even going on now that I discovered FDS. My eyes have been opened to men and relationships and I’ll admit it has been a little disorienting. Sometimes I get emotional and upset thinking about my 2 real relationships..and sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:28 PM
17

His ex “talked shit about his family member” in the presence of another relative and that his ex “just left back to her hometown”. I slowly asked more questions and then discovered she left because his extreme frugalness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:25 PM
9

I love that song before and it never actually applied til last year lol. ETA I just listened to this again and noticed it was written by a man. Why are so many sad love experience songs written by men? Rhetorical question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:14 PM
171

Lol I love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:13 PM
59

Absolutely 100% agree. Good advice. I did this with an ex. He was so handsome and love bombing me and I never experienced that so I told my friends about him. Then when he started acting up, I initially told them but then some things were just too embarrassing to share. So in a way I felt like protecting him was more about protecting myself bc it was my ego and dignity on the line in some way. I know if I didn’t gush about this guy, I would have confided in my friends about the “bad stuff.” Sinc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:11 PM
3

No second chances!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:03 PM
10

Love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:34 AM
27

Lol yup! Wanted to say the same thing. This guy is daydreaming haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:19 PM
14

I really think guys try their shit with any seemingly insecure woman, even some confident ones too. Then its the vulnerable ones that actually are receptive to these 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:16 PM
11

Yeah it’s a sweetness/innocence they see
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:46 PM
147

I definitely put my career (it’s broad) but not my employer or specific field. However, I don’t use my real name and I’m not on social media. I don’t date men not on my level and would likely swipe left on any guy that doesn’t state his occupation because I would assume he has none or an unsuitable one for me. I think things like social media accounts, unique first names etc should be left of OLD. It has been incredibly too easy for me to vet most guys on app- they don’t realize how much they di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:17 PM
29

I would avoid long texting convos- pick up the phone and really feel someone out in a shorter amount of time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 04:59 AM
3

Lol we have no love for them? But good point..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:06 PM
5

Attorneys for both sides get to select and strike jurors from a larger pool.. and I imagine prosecutors would select women.9
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:58 AM
21

Yep this is referred to as a “crime of passion” and essentially is a justification for murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:56 AM
45

Omg same same! I pushed men away for years but was not prepared for a lying narc. I think I knew the narc was full of shit but I chalked it up to me always calling BS on guys and overlooked it. We were perfect prey :( But no more of that, we’re wiser now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:00 AM
10

Good for you!! This hits home and I needed to hear this message. Thanks for sharing :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:23 AM
123

Ah I never was into guys growing up- I was a studious tomboy. Everyone always said I was mean to guys, but I just feed off energy and theirs was usually off or they seemed fake as well, untrustworthy. And I had a good relationship with my dad and brother, so nothing I was exposed to. I was like this through my 20s until society brainwashed me that I have to be nicer and more accepting of men if I want to be married. Breaks my heart that young me knew better but I feel validated and like FDS has …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:18 AM
33

Lol yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:13 AM
35

Terrifying, just realized that too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:12 AM
54

Yeah it makes me think of the times I’ve been upset and silent with a guy, I don’t think they ever say “I didn’t do anything”...they ask “WHAT did I do?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:11 AM
15

Lol what? who made these acronyms up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:41 AM
20

Well it would be a voir dire question likely asked by the prosecutor and they would want to excuse such a juror but it’s not like potential jurors are automatically rejected for having been a victim of DV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:39 AM
32

What is ISO trad?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:36 AM
1

Cool realization. But I really hate these performative tik toks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:32 AM
9

Well weight means nothing regarding body fat. Body fat measurement is what matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:57 PM
8

Lol I’ll take that loss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:58 PM
8

Genius!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:19 PM
52

Yes, this. When I had my internet set up, the technician hit on me. Try to schedule these things during early day light hours and if you have friends available, invite them over. I am very wary of any stranger men in my home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:18 PM
66

Ahh this!! I am a size 4 and 5’9. I am very fit bc I work out religiously - tight abs, firm butt etc (not boasting, just facts). Yet men always want to talk about my weight bc I weigh more than 120 lbs. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:15 PM
12

This hasn’t been my experience. Short men always want to date me and I’m 5’9 :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:13 PM
172

Ah this was me. I always dated men slightly less attractive than me. Then I dated my ex, he was fit like me, tall and handsome but also loaded. I seriously thought I would never find better and questioned why he liked me (I am financially secure too). When we were out he would get dirty looks from other men and once an older gentleman working even told him at an event that he is very lucky to have such a pretty lady. Not surprising he had a meltdown that night. Now with time and FDS I realize ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:05 PM
5

Dating with a high value mindset can feel counterintuitive, but it’s bc of how I’ve been programmed. I have been chatting with a man online (he is 6 years older than me, in his early 40s). He told me today that he was off to visit family for a few days and said “maybe we can get together when i return” and then he asked for my cell # so we can text. I am curious about him bc be sounds interesting but was turned off bc he seems too casual for me. I also don’t like texting with strangers bc it cre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:44 PM
38

They just released the cops cam, she didn’t drop the weapon when the cop arrived. She was still lunging at another black woman at the time, with the knife in hand. I am a black woman btw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:52 PM
7

Lol this is me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:50 PM
2

Thanks for clarifying sis!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:17 PM
1

I know I can do those without a man. I have actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:19 PM
126

Lol that line made me happy because she is no longer fazed by this loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:47 PM
12

It’s hard realizing I was LV so most of my friends are too. The friends that keep insulting me for changing or growing are the ones that must go..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:41 AM
25

Yeah it sucked but I mean its kinda flattering too in a non flattering way...scrotes are so pressed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:14 AM
77

Yes, someone posted about their grandmother and I was concerned. Last year I posted on FDS with another username and used to crosspost on another dating sub. To this dat I think some guy who wasted my time on a dating app found me via reddit! Ugh, be careful ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:11 AM
2

I noticed she did not share much on this episode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 02:09 AM
7

FDS saved me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:24 AM
22

Love her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:31 PM
2

Yeah I was on one of the “exclusive” ones that had a long waitlist. A lot of the guys are same ones from other app, but a smaller pool and they all had resumes that sound good. They came across as all moderately successful men, so if rhat’s important to you and you don’t want to spend time weeding out guys on the standard apps, then it could be worthwhile. The guys were less engaging and did not ask me out on dates as much as they likely would on the other apps- it might be am ego factor like he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:19 PM
1

It is really hard for me to force myself around people I really dislike. But if I have to be around someone that I think is toxic, I just don’t engage. I can talk to them with pleasantries (hello... would you like a drink? Etc) but not really engage beyond that. If they say obnoxious stuff I would just nod my head and say “how interesting”. I am reactive and sensitive so I now use these encounters as practice for myself lol...like how can I not internalize or react to what these loser is saying?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:14 PM
2

Fabletics - 2 for $24 leggjngs (you can do the first promo then pause/cancel your account)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:10 PM
2

Yes their voices are lovely and they vibe well! Easy and fun listen. I basically eliminated all my friends and the podcast makes me feel like I have some lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:09 PM
1

I was invited to one that offers FDS based dating advice and I blocked!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:08 PM
2

A lot of them will have pick me tendencies, it’s just the nature of their philosophies and training. I had one female therapy tell me to overlook a 40 yr old man for never having traveled overseas (I was much younger and traveled frequently for fun)... her reasoning is that men won’t plan trips or need a partner to do so. Another female therapist suggested I date military men because “they take orders well” when I told her I’m an organized neat freak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:03 PM
1

Why do I feel bad for declining to hang out with 2 guy “friends”? I know the truth. One is not a friend and only wants me around bc it makes him look good. The other is someone I recently met through mutual friends and is thirsty. He is thoughtful and checked in when I had a family situation and I responded politely and friendly- he took that to mean more it seems. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:01 PM
9

Haha they want me married and think I’m too picky
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 09:06 PM
22

I have a friend that judges and pities her single friends. Her husband put on 100 lbs since their marriage and whole he was the breadwinner he went on to “entrepreneurship” and she is the sole income for the family. Nah sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:29 PM
34

They feel too inadequate. Whenever a stranger complimented me in front of my ex or told him he was lucky, he would start a fight that day. Even he told me he felt like he won the lotto. Bur he disrespected me and was still on dating apps. I walked away and now he is relentless in trying to get me to talk to him. Nope, blocked/deleted!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:24 PM
14

My friends were at a neighbors home and one friend asked for a piece floss and the guy said he does not “do all that.” He tried to kiss me the next guy, yuck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:00 PM
264

Yes, I volunteered at a shelter as well. Many women who are there are due to some abusive or financially devastating man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:49 PM
1

Yes, I volunteered at a shelter as well. Many women who are there are due to some abusive or financially devastating man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:49 PM
3

Not dumb but more... desperate for a man and therefore more tolerant and blind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:01 AM
105

Good for you. Next time I wouldn’t even bother pointing out his unresponsiveness post vaccine. You noticed it, that’s enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:36 AM
2

Lmao this is my brother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:53 AM
25

But I can’t see many modern men doing this, even “HV” ones. Can you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:57 PM
155

Thanks for posting this. This is how I have always felt. A male “peer” isn’t really a peer. My dad and men around me keep telling me that I should date men who aren’t as successful as me because the pool is narrow where I’m at ... 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:46 PM
6

No she has shamed women on the show a lot instead of the men, I don’t love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:00 PM
3

Yeah lol, I think dating someone with a public platform is just bizarre. Not the women hitting on him, people stopping us to speak to him or the hundreds of thousands of “fans” on IG telling him he is amazing and feeding into his ego. For me, it’s the fact that his voice is amplified. And sooooo many women LOVE him. Goodness, I wish they knew what a joke he is. He has no respect for women beyond the superficial. Man I cringe at something he said to me when I tried to break it off with him the fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:14 PM
9

I thought about it. He’s a B list actor and has a large IG following. He was not an ex but a guy that pursued me for a couple years and I did eventually give in and had a fling with him. He’s significantly older than me btw. Anyway I randomly heard him on a podcast and he was lying about how well he treats women and bashing women that falsely accuse men. Well he definitely sexually assaulted me and I handled it poorly and instead developed a bond with him. Looking back, I had such poor boundarie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:56 PM
1

Thanks! I luckily work from home but that is definitely a concern- everything falling on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:33 PM
65

Yeah I feel that way more and more each day too. Sometimes I’ll see w cute couple and think aww..then sometimes the guy checks me out in the presence of his partner and think nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:11 AM
77

Man this resonates with me so much. I had a short relationship last year with a guy who would get SO angry AT ME when I was upset with HIM. Looking back, it was clearly a control tactic and a way to “keep me in line.” Not being accustomed to abusers, I was always so confused by the guy and needless to say, I didn’t tolerate him for very long. He still reaches out to me so I blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:24 PM
5

I’m aware of those studies but socio economics is a huge factor. When that factor is removed, the outcome is different!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:08 PM
3

Right, that’s what I said. I mean there are plenty of awful 2 parent households. I guess their point is that I’m not even attempting to go into it with the “perfect circumstances”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:05 PM
18

I think younger generations might do this. My friends niece is in school and told me that she learned family is what you make of it and that even friends can live together and raise kids!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 06:14 PM
23

Yeah I hate to say it because I love both my parents but my brother and I still only turn to our mom for counsel, and we’re adults. Our dad certainly was a good father and provided my mom relief but my mom is who shaped us the most. Looking back she carried most of the “burden”..we only got mad at her during those terrible teen years :( I was a daddy’s girl but since FDS I have WAY more respect and compassion for my mama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 06:10 PM
6

See my ETA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:13 PM
50

I always focused on me and never dated in my 20s. When I got into my 30s and felt ready to date, I was very disappointed with what I found. I luckily had limited bad experiences with men but those were enough to traumatize me. I now realize I was onto something in my 20s and shouldn’t have beat myself up for focusing on me and not being “boy crazy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:32 PM
24

The most freeing thing is to be free of the fear of confrontation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:34 AM
22

Yes I think using them short term is fine and maybe longer term depending on the nature of the symptoms/nature of the condition. But the way they are prescribed is problematic. Often they are prescribed by PCPs and GPs who have little expertise in mental health. Patients aren’t informed of alternate remedies or supplemental practices and lifestyle habits that can generally help as well. Lastly, too many prescribed them are mot doing it in combination with therapy or counseling. I agree it can sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:18 AM
46

Wow I’m happy for you. Good for you! And you write so well :) I was also devastated after a break up, thinking I lost a real catch. Now I look back at that period and am THANKFUL I am not with him (even if I’m single). I don’t know if my ex has a girl but I do not care and pity her if he does. It took him to get here... but now I shudder at the thought of being with that loser. And he was wealthy ladies, 7 figures and multiple properties rich. Please don’t think rich = HV. He was hands out down …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:14 AM
5

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:04 AM
3

Right. I also feel like staying on the date will reward them for bad behavior/lying. I’ve heard of men abruptly ending dates when they feel a woman misrepresented herself..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:20 PM
3

Even with Wil and Lena, her intuition told her to avoid Charles but she eventually gave in 🙁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:45 PM
4

Good but disturbing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:12 PM
13

I just looked up her family bc my heart is with them during this time. RIP Kristin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:44 AM
40

Damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:29 AM
19

I’m in my 30s and have been asked to be a SB by older men on apps. My profile also states I’m an attorney. Men are just trying to easily lure women in, imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:27 AM
6

I needed to hear this. I’m mid 30s and everyone guesses I’m 25. The other day a guy who I share a mutual friend asked my age and I declined to answer, so he guessed and was correct. I was upset by that because no one ever guesses correctly. Shortly after her guessed my weight too...then I realized he was just trying to neg me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:01 AM
3

Yay! Baby steps until it comes naturally :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:59 PM
6

I was starting to slip- but I caught myself. Matched with a guy that was clearly not interested in me in a serious way- he did not vet or ask me any substantive questions. But he was my “type”- fit, a traveler and successful (I researched and confirmed). He wanted to go out and I was making excuses- maybe he is waiting to ask questions in real life etc. But I said farewell and unmatched him today! It was hard bc of every 1000 guys, I probably am only intrigued by one. But the scarcity mindset ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:29 PM
4

Lol men are always telling me im taller too smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:12 AM
11

Yes thank goodness for FDS. I would really think it’s me and I’m the problem. Now that I see most men basically follow a script of trash behavior, I feel relieved and have a much easier time dealing with them now. Translation: I do not take them seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:17 PM
4

Thanks queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:07 PM
11

Would it be okay to walk away from a first date if the guy lies about his height? I am 5’9 and I prefer men taller than me. Every guy “6 feet” tall has lied about their height and it’s not uncommon for me to show up on a date where the guy is in fact my height or a tad bit shorter, clearly lying about being 5’10+. I now ask for men to confirm for their height despite what their profile says...as I prepare to start dating again, I’m really considering walking away if a man shows up and blatantly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:41 AM
6

This might explain why every time I get drunk (very rare) I turn into a raging lunatic that demands respect— if a man so much as steps on my shoe without apologizing, I lose it and try to fight them. Last time, a guy friend insulted my appearance, and I confronted him to a fight after telling him not to disrespect. My drunken behavior is not okay but I think it may stem from suppressing a need for male validation. Sober, I am overly apologetic and passive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:40 PM
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