I've been thinking back over the men I have dated and realized that most of them had hygiene problems. Idk why boys aren't taught how to take care of themselves at a basic level while girls are shamed into scrubbing, shaving, and perfuming every inch of ourselves (actually, I do know why). It needs to change. Male lurkers, feel free to keep points and tally yourself up at the end to see how you measure up.

The bare minimum hygiene a man must have to be able to touch you:

ORAL HEALTH

Men need to brush their teeth at least twice a day. 2 minutes and brush every tooth. [2 points]

Brushed tongue!! I have seen many men with white tongues. It's disgusting, it smells, it can give you an infection if he goes down on you! Your tongue should be pink. [1 point]

Floss at least twice a day. Huge source of bad breath. [1 point]

Mouthwash so his breath doesn't stink. [1 point]

Regular dentist visits. I had an ex boyfriend that wouldn't go get a cracked tooth fixed because he'd rather spend his money on his motorcycle. You're an adult now, that means prioritizing health over toys. [2 points]

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BODY

Actually uses soap when he showers. He needs to scrub every inch of his body: arms, torso, legs, feet, BUTTHOLE. And please use actual soap instead of AXE 3 in 1. [2 points]

Washes his butthole. This one is so important I'm putting it twice. No woman wants to go down to suck dick and have it smell like shit (yes I've experienced this, pray for me). [1 point]

Washes his dick. With unscented soap! The most common cause of vaginal infections is sex with a man. His dirty dick is fucking up your shit. If a man wants to put his penis inside a woman it needs to be clean. [2 points]

Washes his hair appropriately. Meaning no 3 in 1 AXE body wash. If he has dandruff or other scalp problems he manages it appropriately. [1 point]

Uses deodorant/cologne. A man needs to smell nice. [1 point]

Clips toenails and fingernails. For obvious reasons. [1 point]

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STYLING

If he has a beard he washes and styles it. If he can't grow a full beard he shaves off the scraggly bits. Seriously you look stupid with patchy cheeks just shave it. [1 point]

Styles his hair. Haircuts, gel, whatever he needs to look presentable. [1 point]

Manages his pubic hair. I put this under styling because everyone has different tastes for pubes. Personally I think a shaved dick looks weird and prefer a trim. At the very least he's properly trimmed and you're not in danger of getting pubes in your teeth. No jungles. [1 point]

Wears clean clothing. Matching. No holes. Age appropriate. Clean shoes. [2 points]

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Share any hygiene standards that I missed in the comments! Also any hygiene horror stories!

And men: if you don't have 20 points you're a dirty pig unfit to touch a woman. Fix yourselves.