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OkConfusion3307 Archive

View 7 posts and 111 comments by OkConfusion3307 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Thanks. I have fortunately had some much more insightful ones since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:29 AM
35

And therapists are mostly completely unaware of this type of abuse. I once had a therapist ask me why I stayed with my revolting ex-husband (porn and alcohol addict). I told her that I felt guilty and indebted that he did a lot to look after me because I was on crutches for several months while I was pregnant. Her response: "oh, ok". That was the end of that. If she had have asked me even one or two more questions about how I felt, or had any kind of understanding of mental and emotional abuse, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:14 PM
42

I have 1 of 3 children who has a genuine difficulty finding/looking for things due to her developmental disorder. I have to work SO HARD not to be triggered by her when she can't find things that are right in front of her - thanks to my useless ex-husband who mentally abused me with weaponised incompetence for years. He would act as if spending 3 hours cooking a meal was a heroic feat worthy of worship. Not a fancy meal mind you, just a regular - weeknight meal - one that if I cooked it myself, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:02 PM
85

AND, if she's living with a guy and her life is still a mess, they also say, "Oh, poor guy to have to deal with that."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 10:49 PM
27

And I'm just checking to see how low your standards actually are/what you will tolerate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:36 AM
31

If the idea that men do bad things is upsetting to you, you can: a) have a whiny mantrum about it and make it all about how offensive, poor you and NOT ALL MEN blah blah blah, or b) CHOOSE TO NOT DO BAD THINGS AND DON'T PERMIT OR EXCUSE OTHER MEN FOR DOING BAD THINGS, (and then you won't have a guilty conscience and need to whiny mansplain all the time)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:21 PM
6

And when they whine about no one loving them for who they are, they fail to see the importance of what they have just identified. They really mean, I don't care that who I am is a shitty excuse for a human, I should be worshipped regardless of anything I dish out on anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:06 AM
25

So true. The difference between shame of being busted vs shame of actually using porn: My ex acted as if he was ashamed when he was busted using porn, but it was actually just him feeling icky about being found out, he never initiated any changes. People who are genuinely ashamed of their behaviour do something to change it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:10 AM
18

Urgh I am so glad you are out x I had a similar experience with couples therapy with my narcissistic exhusband also. Every session I would leave just feeling sick and worse than ever, as if he had sucked pieces of my soul out. He would spend most of the sessions talking about himself, his complaints, his misery, what he was pissed off about and missing out on. The two different therapists we saw, neither of them picked up on the emotional and psychological abuse that was going on, despite the fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:58 PM
64

And then my crazy ex girlfriend made me... Nah bro, you're a dicktim. I wouldn't have had to tell those lies if you nasty wimmin would just give me all the sex I need. Nah bro, you're a dicktim. I only broke into your house because I wanted to talk to you. How could you put a restraining order on me? Nah bro, you're a dicktim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:43 PM
13

🙌 The amount of time and energy most of my partnered friends put into complaining about their partners reminds me how happy I am without one, and without wasting my precious energy looking for one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 11:11 AM
8

Try and frame it like this: It's not that he's wrong or thinks you don't know anything, it's that his ego and character(subconscious) are looking for ways to boost him up, so instead of listening and hearing you, he's looking for opportunities to talk the experience and knowledge of himself and the people he relates to. Next few conversations you have with him, try to notice how much time he spends listening and trying to understand your perspective, and how much time he spends talking about his…
/r/askFDS01/06/21 07:55 AM
20

Red flag here: instead of stopping at "oh nice I can buy them for you", he could have added, that's a great idea. But instead, he chooses to give his sister and mum several compliments (and himself by default, putting himself on the pedestal with them as the "expert") and low-key negs you by suggesting that you need to be taught how to care for your own hair. It sounds as if he's made it very clear by now that they are "experts", so why is he suggesting that they teach you things unless he is su…
/r/askFDS01/06/21 01:23 AM
27

You feel like this because your SO is being insensitive and self-centred. He sounds vain and like he needs to prop up his ego by talking about himself. By talking about how amazing his sisters and mum are, he is also building up his ego because he sees them as a reflection of him. Its one thing to be proud of your family members, its something else altogether to insert them and their awesomeness into multiple scenarios. Anyone with any level of sensitivity for your feelings would notice that you…
/r/askFDS01/06/21 01:15 AM
3

^^ Exactly. That's the exact difference between supporting and enabling someone - whether you are supporting them so that they can do it themselves, as you're doing with your friends, or enabling by pushing and/or carrying them into doing something you think they "should" do....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:33 AM
2

Bahahahaha. Hahahaha. So on point. Worst insult ever 🤣🤣🤣 Best response? Enjoy dying alone 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:15 AM
4

My narc ex husband called an ambulance for me because I had paralysing abdominal pain. I was taken to the hospital, he drove. While they were running tests and I was in agonising pain and terrified not knowing what was happening, he went to "move the car" disappeared for nearly 2 hours, came back blind drunk, then stumbled around and acted creepy as fuck while I had an internal exam and made it seriously weird and traumatic because he was staring down the male doctor doing it. When our baby was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:42 AM
0

Ok. Was just wondering whether you were open to talking/thinking about it, no biggie. When you say "we" in the way you did, it sounds as if you are speaking on behalf of all of FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:01 PM
1

Who is "we"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:23 PM
131

The whole wall thing just really irks me. By continuing to accept the concept of the wall, for men or women, it seems like buying into the concept that appearance is all that matters, and while patriarchy is still everywhere, that is always going to work against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:51 AM
8

Re: the testicles one, ask if he's kink shaming you 😂😂😂 JK, you definitely made the right choice with blocking, this is some weird scrotacity.
/r/askFDS20/05/21 12:22 AM
4

What is your relationship to the two people in this situation? If you can share some insight with the young woman yourself, that is ideal. Second best is putting the scrote into a cannon and shooting him into the sun.
/r/askFDS19/05/21 01:01 PM
5

So very true 👏 And good, don't ever explain that shit. I'm so happy to hear that you value and see your abilities and value ❤ Lack of self awareness is absolutely all those things you describe, so well said. Some men will attend therapy though, and learn how to be even better manipulators, whilst maintaining completely zero self awareness. Whilst the patriarchy is still causing men to be basically given a hero trophy for having the bravery to even attend therapy, its nearly impossible for this s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:58 AM
9

This needs to be commented on every. single. thread which includes "just CoMmUniCATe betterer you silly woman"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:21 AM
17

Wow how's that for some projection! What a selfish dick. I'm glad you're free of him 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 10:45 AM
89

So he was bad enough that you have spent half of your time split up, and when he finally agrees to make changes in order to shut you up retain the relationship, he is so resentful that he decides to mess with you by being as annoying as possible, with absolutely zero respect or regard for your feelings whatsoever. No judgement from me, love, I stayed with an alcoholic narc and we probably spent a similar amount of time split up too - so I am looking at what you are saying and seeing someone who …
/r/askFDS14/03/21 10:11 AM
12

^ This exactly right here. It doesn't. Fucking. Matter. What. We. Do. They will always find a way to blame us. My porn addict ex husband would barely ever have sex with me, despite me being fit, gorgeous etc. When we did it was 3.5 mins of foreplay and zero affection. He was cold and dead inside. So glad to be rid of his misery and wish I hadn't put up with it and tried to "help and support" him for so damn long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:55 AM
58

Vicki Tidwell-Palmer doesn't specifically address sex or sex advice, but she is a therapist who is very strongly aligned with women listening to and following their internal guidance system in order to set and maintain healthy boundaries. She has a podcast "Beyond Bitchy" about setting boundaries for yourself, and a course called 7 invitations, and has a book about sexual betrayal, for partners who have experienced a cheating, lying or porn- addicted partner and how to trust yourself again after…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 09:31 AM
3

Lol I had to have a think about it. A lot of things in profiles automatically rule men out for me. Bad grammar (ie. not just a missing apostrophe, but if I couldn't deal with it in a text, then nope) or weird or non-answers to profile questions. ie. I saw one guys profile where he had just answered 'yes' 'no' 'yes' 'no' to the profile questions... If they give me any kind of a weird vibe in conversation - as in the conversation doesn't feel easy and flowing back and forth - if they mostly make i…
/r/askFDS01/03/21 12:42 PM
1

I used to mutter about how I would love to do the mowing, it looked so peaceful...he would say, well you should do it then! I did it once. He didn't even keep the kids inside, so I had kids running around the mower. I went in and told him to keep them inside (which he of course never had to do when he was mowing). And then he buggered around in the garage, so when I finished the mowing, I still had to do the 14 loads of washing, vacuuming, clean up the kitchen and floors because kids had helped …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:36 AM
2

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic This explains it well. I understand what you are saying about the man having to be prepared to pay for a solution. I was saying that if he feels that he is "above" housework, then there is a good possibility that he will not contribute to the mental load involved in the entirety of running a household. Your comments about bills and garbage are basically saying "not all men". I'm sure some men do that stuff, but the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:28 AM
14

Totally agree. Don't ever try to sell yourself. OLD is really such a trash pile. Saying this as someone who married an alcoholic narc I met through OLD.... but have gone back to it - with a transformed attitude though. I think you should just be unashamedly yourself. I am terrible at replying to texts, my life is chaotic and full, I have hardly anything written on my profile - just enough to give conversation starters. If you let them start a conversation, it's clear VERY quickly if they are sel…
/r/askFDS28/02/21 01:18 AM
6

Omg I so hear you and relate! And they think they are so fucking wonderful because when you complain about them not doing things, they say...but all you had to do was ASK!!! I might as well do it myself then fuckstick! I've been on my own for 18 months without the tosser and my lawn is always mowed, my gutters are clean, my house is relatively tidy, and the only people I have to nag are my ACTUAL children! So much better:D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:39 PM
2

My fucking ape of an ex, who believes he was the finest husband to ever grace the planet, could not complete a LOAD OF WASHING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:35 PM
3

Plus there is a shitload more than just housework involved in keeping a house in order and running functionally. Dishes, laundry, groceries, bills, garbage out, garden/ house/car maintenance...etc....if a man won't contribute as an adult to basic cleaning, he's sure as shit going to be useless at all that other everyday stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:33 PM
39

Kids need to be cared for. Fathers often don't do that. Who are you suggesting should be the parent if the father won't do it? I don't understand what you are suggesting here, that kids should be put into foster care? Being the tough/strict/main parent doesn't mean you are playing the role of a martyr, it means you are stepping up and taking care of your kids. Why assume that anyone here is "playing the martyr"? When the mother does everything, ie. actually cares for her children, of course the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:10 PM
28

Love it. That seems to leave his role as being a dick-child
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:22 AM
6

Thank you xx I hope they see that one day! Right now it seems like a lot of the time they just see exhausted, grumpy Mummy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:50 AM
15

And this is a great post - and I can absolutely see this dynamic at play. But please remember there is also the example that is set by manipulative fathers, and filthy disgusting fathers who return to their bachelor gross habits the second you leave them - but your children are still exposed to it :/ I hope and pray that I am doing enough with my kids, to show them what an almost emotionally healthy parent looks like, what a clean home feels like, having clean clothes and love and rules and resp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 11:28 PM
21

My ex used to cook dinner - but he would dirty the entire fucking kitchen from floor to ceiling, use every dish imaginable, and not clean up a single thing as he went, even if he was just standing there waiting for water to boil. He would crack the shits if I wanted to make dinner, so that I could get a break from the kids, not to mention that I would have it all done AND cleaned up in a quarter of the time. I'm certain he did it just to make it look like and sound like he did SO much to "help" …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 11:15 PM
25

Massive red flag I ignored from my ex- he stayed with his mother for 2 weeks, the room he stayed in was right next to the guest bathroom, so he was basically the only person using it as his mum has an ensuite. He calls me the day before leaving, and says, "I just finished cleaning mums bathroom for her." Like he deserved some kind of fucking medal for cleaning the bathroom that he bloody well used!!! I said, "you mean the bathroom that just you have been using? While staying for free in your mum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 11:06 PM
26

Dear Sir, Thank you for the unexpected and unsolicited submission of your penis portrait for our consideration. We regret to inform you that it has failed to pass our most basic standards of quality control at this time. However, for a nominal fee we can offer you a report that will help you change that. The A4 report, provided via postal service, will include a personalised booklet that cover the following: → Why genitals are not an acceptable conversation opener (a step by step guide to saying…
/r/askFDS09/02/21 10:47 AM
94

And when this douchecanoe tricks some poor woman into being his bangmaid for the next 10 years, pops out a few kids, then repeatedly cheats on her, he is going to be back whining about how he TRIED to prevent this but now this GOLD DIGGING whore is taking half is money in a divorce 🙄😒🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:53 AM
27

Its an utter refusal to accept any responsibility for being selfish, insensitive and....the most inconceivable possibility for the enormous male ego.....WRONG. If they accept responsibility by genuinely apologising, they are admitting they did something wrong. And we can't expect them to do that, because it will cause their pp to fall off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:47 PM
1

I would like to help out too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:57 PM
14

Yes. Exactly this. Their fucking intentions don't mean a goddamn thing. In the end, it comes down to what we are willing to live with. He either doesn't care about our standards, has similar standards to us already(check by vetting vetting vetting), or, is willing to do whatever it takes to get really goddamn close to our standard - OF HIS OWN ACCORD - no nagging, reminding, explaining, or cOmMmUnicAting required - because he cares about and respects our fucking feelings and personhood. If he do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:11 PM
2

I looove baggage reclaim! And the adult chair. Those two are great therapy for starters xx
/r/askFDS04/02/21 03:51 AM
2

Yup. Not an apology. Actual genuine apologies DO NOT EVER have qualifiers straight after them. If you are apologising, you are meant to be saying sorry, AND THEN taking responsibility for what you have done, not deflecting it back like a burning bag of dog poop onto the person you just damn well hurt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 09:23 AM
2

I dont know about the intention or not, but he sure as he'll didn't intend NOT to! And yes - sure as hell doesn't treat other men this way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 09:17 AM
7

Be really kind to yourself. He is your ex for a lot of good reasons. You made the best choices you could at the time , and when you were able, you got out of that shitty relationship. Know better, do better. Read the handbook again. There are heaps of great resources in there - podcasts etc that really help. Its ok to be sad. Things are different now xxx
/r/askFDS03/02/21 02:03 AM
1

Thank you xxx yes I am so glad to have found FDS ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 01:18 AM
3

Yep exactly - like he is a child instead of a grown arse adult. I argued for years that i shouldn't have to make a freakin roster. I also had chronic migraines from the stress of the relationship, plus running my own business and looking after 3 young kids. After we separated for a year I decided to compromise on some of his "requests" because he was making so much effort not drinking.... but then found out he was still watching porn, calling wank lines etc (not the first time either).... so I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:18 PM
1

Are there no defacto laws in the US??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:35 PM
28

Get out now. You are still so young. Pre-FDS, I tried to "fix" my ex, he would cook dinner each night, and once I made a chore roster he participated in household chores for a month or two, if they were on the roster. If it wasn't on the roster, he just didn't see it. After first month of roster I started reminding him, then I got pissed off and started buying myself presents for each week of chores he missed. Then he went overseas and I changed the locks on the house and our divorce is about to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 07:27 AM
46

Yep that sums it up 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 01:46 AM
13

The freaking level of delusion here....admitting to himself that maybe women don't want to get to know who he is, so he HAS to lie???? And he's...ok with that 😂 This is poster material for patriarchy 101. Training men to believe that only women should ever have to change and improve and fit a partners expectations, and if we ever reveal we are less than porn perfect then they should feel justified to go find themself something more shiny and fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 01:38 AM
2

Thanks they look great too :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:02 AM
6

Because patriarchy says that is how the young males should be trained to enable the continuation of the patriarchy: so that they can continue the cycle of being entitled and undervaluing and taking for granted everything that women are expected and made to do from a very young age.
/r/askFDS29/01/21 03:38 PM
15

Yes! emotions and empathy are powerful! Have you read Burnout? I think you would love it :) I'm about half way through it and it's so great
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:04 PM
75

Not only is he so very wrong and clearly been told this by a woman who is faking it, but he mansplains it on a post making fun of how bad men are at providing orgasms?!? Comedy gold!!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 10:29 AM
2

I love this
/r/askFDS09/01/21 01:02 PM
28

Best thing I ever got for peace of mind when I split from my ex was a video door bell. It was $100. No wiring, rechargeable. Lifetime guarantee against theft. $29 a year and all motion recorded and kept for me to access. Motion activated, has an intercom function so I can talk to people at my door even if I'm out. 5 months after we split I got restraining order because ex tried to break in - used footage from doorbell as evidence. Best of luck xx
/r/askFDS08/01/21 11:45 PM
29

He won't make plans to see you because he knows you will? Don't make the plans. He will step up, or the trash will take itself out.
/r/askFDS06/01/21 02:57 AM
2

Naww he sounds just puurrrfect <3 <3 Exactly! Enjoy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:17 PM
3

Hes a curious devil that's for sure! Knocked over the Christmas tree 😂 Makes up for it with constant face boops 😻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:54 PM
3

Absolutely 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:52 PM
3

Yesss 🍾⚘😻💕💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:51 PM
5

Good on you! Screw what she thinks lol and enjoy your gorgeous boy My mother hasn't even acknowledged my divorce 😒 What sort of kitty did you get?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:50 PM
7

He loves climbing up me like I'm a tree and just chilling on my shoulder like a parrot! lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:35 PM
8

Murder mittens - love it lol <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:18 PM
4

He's definitely got traits of both - the siamese meow and ears...and the legs.... and the burmy snuggles and cheeky <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:17 PM
9

Bahaha that's perfect! High class tea to cut a fool - kitty gotcha back all the way :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:15 PM
15

Good on her! That's fantastic <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:14 PM
77

Thank you - it's a proper breakaway collar that pops right open with any pressure on it. He's only indoors and he needs a bell so that me and the kids have some idea where he is and don't step on him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:26 AM
26

Nacho hehe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:57 AM
129

Being a crazy cat lady is totally underrated lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:48 AM
76

Hahaha yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:47 AM
53

Hey fellow Aussie chick! I live just outside Melbourne :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:29 AM
119

Love it :D He don't want no PS5 or porn lol Just give him a cuddle and a cardboard box and he's in heaven! HVK all the way. Always puts his mess where he's supposed to. Takes care of my snuggle needs. Appreciates the fuck out of me <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:25 AM
2

Gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:50 AM
24

If they attempt to coerce then ditch them. If they make the vaguest hint that you potentially "owe" them. Ditch them. Don't EVER put yourself in any situation where they can attempt physical coercion until you have established commitment and trustworthiness. Meet in public. Follow fds guidelines. Dont go to his house. If a guy doesn't want to be nice any more because he didn't get his moneys worth? Fucking ditch him. You are not a vending machine for men to put treats into to get sex out of. You…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:38 AM
9

Naw he just needs a set with a range of weights of course! He can just go get himself 5 pound increasing weighted new fwb every....oh hang on...this seems impractical if one actually wanted to be working on his strength game...he doesn't want to do weights, does he lmao I can just picture this ego douche OLD..."so I need you to be between 90-110 pounds because that fits my current bench press range and I think you will feel special being hoisted above my spindly body for 3 weeks"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:32 PM
37

One of his opening sentences to me was: "Fit and smart. Just my type, I'm glad we matched." Vomit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:53 AM
39

I'm a little more flexible on text replies until we have some kind of established pattern or understanding of one another's situations. I think you can tell when there is a lack of interest versus just not being obsessed with having to always reply to someone straight away. I don't like being on my phone a lot and I am looking for someone who is similarly not obsessed with replying simply to avoid disappointing someone, even if they are not anyone important. I don't know if I am explaining very …
/r/askFDS02/01/21 11:08 AM
18

Exactly and utterly spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:07 AM
96

😂 yep. Was tempted to reply "undecided between foot masseuse and sugar daddy so I dont think we are a match" before I deleted his LV drink date offering arse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 07:12 AM
39

And there it is...exactly...they just think that they deserve their own set of rules because they are so special.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:55 PM
58

Thank you! I told a man (never met him before) this morning to not go out of his way to see me today as I am recovering from a migraine. He decided to anyway. He sent me a text saying he could bring me lunch and that he had stopped in my town. I said no I'm not feeling good, I am resting. I didn't apologise, I did nothing wrong. I was polite and considerate, he was verging on pushy. I also have a 4 year old I needed to make arrangements for in order to see him, which he knew. In past times I wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 02:42 AM
15

I would say ALWAYS for good reasons! Who wants to raise kids on their own if there is a better option?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:33 AM
12

If their drinking is more than what you are comfortable with, AT ALL, major red flag. Ditch them. It only ever gets worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:43 PM
3

Yep. My family have done this to me. They continue to love and praise my toxic narc alcoholic LV exhusband and treat me like nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:31 PM
1

You hadn't mentioned that very specific scenario in your comment. And they just count in the same group of men who don't attempt to gain access, or dont attempt to gain any meaningful access, or play the system in order to avoid supporting their own children. How is the 20% relevant to any of this anyway? If a case goes to court, there is usually violence and/or abuse so its a whole other kettle of fish and a whole lot of good reasons for the courts to be granting greater amounts of time with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/20 10:51 AM
2

No but I will look her up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 08:15 AM
1

Thanks! I still felt the pangs of sadness a few hours after it was done. Those lingering old pattern thoughts of "what if I had communicated something to him, or maybe I didn't make requests regarding my expectations early enough" and maybe those things are true. But it doesn't change how things ended up. So I will learn my lessons and add to my list of notes about expectations for the next time around. And be extra kind to myself for a little while first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:43 PM
2

Yes. Yes they do. There are specific groups who call themselves activists, who promote the idea that men are being excluded from parenting as a gender, when the truth is very far from that. The number of Dads attempting to get shared/equal custody of their children is pathetically low. Less than 20% go to court- which is where the statistics are pulled from that supposedly prove a bias against men being allowed to parent. In the real world, a mother is not going to put herself and her kids throu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 10:05 AM
2

When a woman is abandoned with a child alone it’s her fault for not picking a better mate. Well if men had equal parenting rights this wouldn't be as big of an issue. How is this relevant? Less than 20% of custody cases even get taken to court. That means that 80% of Dads have accepted the agreement they have made - without any legal intervention, of their own free will - regarding parenting arrangements. And of that 80%, how many of those arrangements involve Dads actually stepping up and being…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 10:00 AM
15

There have been some good tiktoks posted on here. When I see one posted I go and check out their other videos to make sure it wasn't just a once off before following them. My faves: chelseahartisme, yoleendadong, empathiccoach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:20 AM
10

Enjoy your freedom gorgeous! You've done so well breaking free :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:39 AM
5

He is absolutely trying to fuck with you. Speak to the police. If it continues, absolutely get a restraining order. And have a chat with yourself too. How are you feeling about this? However you feel is ok. Write him a letter. Spill out how much you hate him. Then burn that shit. If you meditate, I would highly recommend a "cutting the ties" guided meditation to help you clear yourself of any emotional ties to this scrotewad.
/r/askFDS28/12/20 02:22 AM
4

Yep - love it. Have you seen the poem "She let go" by Safire Rose? Its perfect :) I like cats better is also reason enough lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:19 AM
3

The reasons I had for breaking it off with a guy recently, were that he was emotionally unavailable, and was not discussing or even hinting at commitment or relationship by date number 3, which was also unplanned. In addition he did not give compliments, do anything sweet or thoughtful or ask about me during date #3. The reply I got to the dump text said it all. Dump text: "I'm sure we would have had amazing sex, but we are not looking for the same thing. Best of luck." Reply: Oh I'm so surprise…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:14 AM
3

Yes! And same for family - I'm not giving out my time, affection and love to neglectful, abusive or in any way unloving people any more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:04 AM
9

I had a similar one! Two planned dates - then just the show up and "where are we going?". He wasn't thoughtful though, no flowers or even compliments - but a great kisser and the physical touch and sexual chemistry - kapow! He thought he could skate through and keep me hanging on that - nope bye seeya! I was so close to having sex with him as I could tell it would be amazing...but based on the dates, probably only amazing for a few months, until he had me properly on the hook...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:59 AM
25

Yup. It really truly is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:37 PM
20

I wouldn't be sticking around for that treatment either. I found that confusing in that book as well. I figure, if a man has proved himself HV, and there is a once off of any of that shitty behaviour, surely you should be able to coMuNicaTe about it? No way am I ever just tolerating that kind of crap long term. If it was VERY minor, and very early stages of dating I would try some of those techniques and give him one shot to turn it around, but more than one shot when there's no relationship is …
/r/askFDS26/12/20 10:04 AM
3

How can you get madly enough in love with yourself to believe that you deserve someone who respects, adores, and enthusiastically wants to be with you, and nothing fucking less? ❤ Check out some of the fds readings x
/r/askFDS25/12/20 12:05 PM
1

<3 No! drinking coffee doesn't count! lol Not a book - but I am LOVING the baggage reclaim podcast at the moment - so much great info for self-reflection, extras on her website too. She talks about her unsent letters and how helpful they can be for uncovering our self worth baggage :) An unsent letter to your parents and/or the Mormon church, and whoever has shamed you for your beautiful body would be a great start <3 My favourites from the self-help list are In no particular order): Atomic Habi…
/r/askFDS18/12/20 04:24 AM
2

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I know what you mean - some guys it is just like a laser focus....they are probably scrotes anyway lol So do you mean you do no innuendo whatsoever? I tend to have a bit of a rude/inappropriate sense of humour(have spent too much time around my teenagers during lockdown lol), so for me, if someone is going to get offended by that, or if they are going to get hung up/get the wrong message from that, I would prefer to know. Hmmm after writing that, it sounds li…
/r/askFDS18/12/20 04:12 AM
23

I allow 24 hours or less after matching for an initial message. Same. Unmatch. I don't take any notice of whether or not they are online. Couldn't care less. If I send them a message and they haven't replied in less than 24 hours. Unmatch/delete. Initial contact, and first few messages I allow a little time, but if there's no interesting questions or conversation within the first 24 hours, if they make no effort, ie. how are you, or love your pics, or you are super cute, or if there is more than…
/r/askFDS18/12/20 04:04 AM
3

I just wanted to send you some love, and let you know that it is NEVER too late to learn how to passionately love yourself <3 I'm 41 with 3 kids and only just found my self esteem. It's taken an absolute crap-load of therapy and self-work, but so very worth it. First, what are you doing every. single. day. to build your self esteem and understanding of yourself and your worth? The books in the sidebar are fabulous, and also Untamed by Glennon Doyle. second, are you working through whatever it is…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 04:23 AM
1

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/r/askFDS15/12/20 10:55 AM
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