TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

OraleEse13 Archive

View 2 posts and 298 comments by OraleEse13 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I don't appeal things. I think if you need to appeal things then this is the wrong sub for people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 02:12 PM
1

All I did was add a different view. I didn't confirm the OP's statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 02:03 PM
1

"Just meeting people" (at your expense) = foodie call.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 03:00 AM
1

Rape is the fore euro sexual activity on an unwilling participant. Your description doesn't make these women sound unwilling. Rather, they want a guy who is more pushy. That's not rape. That's fulfilling their wishes of being more pushy in order to satisfy whatever desire they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 04:17 PM
1

Sometimes you need to use the rule of scarcity. If your son is taking you for granted then maybe removing the benefit he's getting by treating you that way is something that will make him realize the value of your relationship. I'm having the same issue with one of my kids right now. It's always me trying to keep the communication and relationship together. So, I told him the last time I texted that relationships are like tennis. I hit the ball to you and you hit it back to me. If you don't hit …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 08:21 AM
1

Yeah, I disagree with your mom's advice. If a kid of that age abandons you then that has consequences just as if a friend or parent abandoned you. I don't do one-sided relationships with anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 11:45 PM
8

Pretty hard to compete against moms even if they're whore crack addicts. They instinctually feel sorry for mom. I fortunately haven't lost touch with my kids. They know how much I love them and have invested in them. Men have to work for it. Mothers just get it for free.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 11:43 PM
6

Keep up the fight. Keep your kids tight. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, and don't get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 10:02 PM
2

You are in the very early stages where the pain is most severe. When you finally do split and live separately another wave of it will hit you. So, be ready for that. Do not use alcohol to numb yourself during this. You'll be a wreck for weeks or months. The "eating clean and exercise" advice is to feed your mind and body positivity to counteract the negative feelings. It worked to great effect for me and my divorce was bloody. I ran 3 miles a day after work and lifted weights for about an hour t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 01:40 PM
2

Burn me once, shame on you. You ain't gonna burn me again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 02:00 AM
6

This is true. My ex got back on the CC and even had them all move in with her and the kids. Just a pure parade of sausage. Judge didn't care. I thought it was traumatic for the kids. If it's the woman then she'll get all kinds of leeway you won't simply for being a man. If I had moved in and out 6 women you better believe the judge would've punished me for it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 01:36 AM
1

Not how it worked in my case. If it isn't necessary stuff like medical issues, education, etc, then do not share it if she is responding negatively to it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 02:40 PM
6

If your x doesn't share the joys of your parenthood then stop sharing any unnecessary info. Next up comes the parental alienation where she turns your daughter against you. Start watching Coach aGreg Adams on YT. You'll shed your ex real quick.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 10:47 PM
3

That's fine. So, just expect good visitation time on that 10.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 06:54 AM
8

That's not good for the child. Sorry to tell you. If you want 50/50 you need to be in range of the mom.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 06:50 AM
1

Translation your attorney will figure this out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 06:37 AM
3

Definitely tax implications if nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 11:44 AM
8

Your mom will always be there until she does. Your wife won't. There's your answer. Back in the olden times "leave (your parents) and cleave (to your wife) was sound biblical teaching. But, that's when wives were with you "until death does you part." That has changed. I'd kick my alcoholic wife to the curb before I ever kicked my mom to the curb. And, naltrexone doesn't stop cravings. It blocks the dopamine reward signal she gets from drinking so eventually she'll just stop being interested in d…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 09:33 AM
6

Mediation. A mediator is a neutral attorney approved by the court. Child support will be based on a federal formula factoring your incomes and overnights with the kids. Your personal agreement on a number may, or may not, be approved by the court. A mediator's cost is split between you two. They will draft up the agreement and send it to the judge tomrubber stamp.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 01:02 AM
2

Watch Coach Greg Adams on YT. If it's money and career then search his "Blue Chip Mondset" videos.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 10:28 PM
2

Last time I texted with my ex she sent me a selfie. I swear it seemed like she aged 10 years in 2 years. That's how I knew I was over her. I no longer saw her as this special being. She hit the wall late. But, she still hit it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 12:00 AM
2

The old one, right? I wish he had that great graphic one he puts up on his new videos. The guy is such a wise sage. If you can't get over a chick after 10 hrs of live streams then you have Oneitis.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 11:57 PM
1

Coach Gang!
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 11:57 PM
3

All she has to do is make false allegations. Happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:24 PM
4

Interesting take. It's true, too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:22 PM
1

Coach Gang!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:21 PM
1

You're paranoid. But, that's your right I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 11:50 AM
11

Mine did the same. If you have a lawyer have them file a motion, and affidavit in support, of contempt. You can choose between civil contempt (she'll be fined) or criminal contempt (criminal probation and/or a few days in the pokey). I'd go for criminal. If you don't want her to spend a few days in jail ask for 2 years probation. That'll put her on best behavior. Then if she even sneezes the wrong way according to the parenting plan she's going to jail for probation violation. I'd do it immediat…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 08:54 PM
3

Don't get married. You saw how easily your "religious ex-wife" threw all of that religion in the toilet with you. Sorry, my man. I went through it, too. It's one of the reasons I lost my faith. That, and the immense contradictions in the Bible.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 08:01 PM
3

I feel for you. Same thing happened to me. Get her ass to work now. No kids at least means no child support.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 04:57 AM
3

Essentially, if you carry a penis you're fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 04:04 AM
1

It's the same here if she has "established residency." Don't change the locks. She'll be gone so you don't even need to. Have her served like 2-3 days before she leaves. The other view is file immediately so she doesn't hire an international attorney on your dime. CA is community property so she can spend all your money on attorneys and get you broke.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 03:14 AM
2

Divorce her yesterday. You're in damage control mode now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 03:12 AM
2

Plus, it's a known fact that marriage lowers test likely due to sloppy living (fattening food, no gym, and Netflix binging).
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 05:38 PM
2

Thanks, man. The kids will hopefully come around as they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 05:31 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tzk948/the_deteriorating_relationships_between_men_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/04/22 10:37 AM
1

Not bra estimation. Nude tit size estimation like I said before. Show me yours and I'll guess your cup size.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 07:59 AM
8

You still haven't woken up, my man. The family and divorce court laws incentivize her to divorce. Marriage is the only contract where the one who breaks it **is rewarded. She gets the house, kids, half of your stuff, and child support for years and years. It's a huge financial windfall. Then, all she has to do is find another schlep to believe her victim hood stories to marry her and now she has his income, too. She can repeat the process with him if she wants. But, if she's sitting on half of e…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 07:08 AM
1

Yeah, typo.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 02:36 AM
1

By keeping secrets like that they are picking a side. They're siding with keeping her affair under wraps and allowing her to continue it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 02:17 AM
4

By not telling they are siding with their mother. My kids totally sided with their mother through our divorce. She's a monster manipulator and engaged in mass parental alienation. She told them every confidential thing I ever told her in my life. You can't trust your wife with personal secrets. She WILL throw you under the bus when things go sour.Here's a good rule of thumb. Add, "right now" to the end of anything your wife says. For example, "I love you [right now]?" "I'll never lie to you [rig…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 02:15 AM
1

A father can never win against the mother. Your kids clearly love and value her but their feelings for you are highly questionable now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 02:13 AM
11

She's cheating on you and threatened suicide (emotional abuse). I would be divorcing her. Petition the judge for primary physical custody because a motel is no place for 5 people. If she gets a job she should be able to get an apartment. But, I would cite the suicidality as a danger to the children and fight for primary.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 10:01 AM
1

Try to stay cordial. Co-parenting sucks for everyone when you aren't.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 02:59 PM
10

You will learn that family court is really up to the judge deciding the case. Make sure your attorney knows the judge well. It really is that simple especially with it being the mother. Sucks. Good luck though. I don't think a reasonable judge would sign off on a 1BD apartment with 2 kids though.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 02:29 PM
6

PM me. I went through this all.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 07:09 AM
3

And she's still using her provocative sexuality as the bait to hook you with... smh.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/04/22 02:10 AM
-1

And, the Russian conscripts are looting homes and raping Ukrainian women. So, what has really changed?
/r/MensRights31/03/22 11:47 PM
1

I wasn't able to make the change in my head until long after the divorce was over. My kids are grown now so I have no communication w her. But, when our kids were little she'd use me as a place to always drop them off on her weeks (we had 50/50). Of course I'm not going to say no to my children coming over. Her, on the other hand, would always make an excuse for why they couldn't come. One time she flat out said, "I don't want them eating all the food and making messes." Can you believe that shi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:28 PM
1

I was always the nice guy, to, and my ex abused the fuck out of it. She would never reciprocate favors, etc. Now, I am anything but Mr Nice Guy. I'm pretty ruthless now, actually.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:42 AM
2

If she's vindictive then she's definitely going to make it as ugly as she can. Get ready for a lot of emotional and financial damage. Get 50% custody at least and hire a nanny on your weeks. Or, if you get full custody get a full time nanny. The child support savings should mostly cover it. Sorry, man. It's brutal. Mine was one of the most brutal. I made a lot of mistakes due to the emotional rollercoaster of not seeing my kids. It's fucking hard. Keep your cool.I'd talk to an attorney now for s…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:40 AM
-4

Good luck. This goes back to the history of time.
/r/MensRights31/03/22 06:52 AM
1

I don't need to get into details. She was a decent mother but a shitty wife. Actually, I can't even say that. She broke up the family because she wanted to start drinking and partying after meeting a new group of singles that went out a lot. So, a good mother doesn't do that. She's a selfish cu*t, actually and I watched her hop back on the CC 🐓 🎠
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:42 AM
3

Will Simp in all his glory.
/r/MensRights31/03/22 12:45 AM
2

Lawyer up. Use a credit card if necessary. Reach out to family for help if you have any. You shouldn't have left the home. You should have called 911 and barricaded yourself in a room while waiting for them. They would have thrown her out of the house. Don't sign anything over to her. Be as cool, calm, and collected as you can be. Follow up on that DV claim you filed. Try to get her charged, arrested, and removed from the home so you can go back.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:31 AM
1

I didn't say financially. I mean domestically.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 11:32 PM
1

I agree with you. Women don't want to take care of men anymore. So, why should men take care of women with no reciprocation. Marriage is forever off the table. As far as a relationship goes? She'd have to be really special and that would take time for me to ascertain. She also needs to have her own money because I'm not taking her car in for new tires when they need to be replaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 11:22 PM
1

You are absolutely right. I put in my time.I'm not taking care of another woman again. I just got out of a long LTR. I'm tired of being the meal ticket. If I do get into a relationship again, which is pretty easy for me to do, then she's definitely needing to earn a good income. And, marriage is out of the question because I'm not getting stuck with a woman who turns into something completely different then the woman I married. See. This is experience talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 10:56 PM
1

Lady, I was married for a decade to a SAHM and have 3 kids. "GTFO with I don't know how to be a provider." Been there, done that. Females are strong and independent now. No more riding my back.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 10:37 PM
6

DO OT try to play Mr. Nice a guy with her. She's not going to play Mrs. Nice Woman with you. She's geared up for battle. I made the mistake of capitulating and trying to "be fair" and all it did was bite me in the ass over and over as she took advantage of my kindness. My ex would even leverage and weaponize our kids against me. You have a lawyer. Use him as he should know better. If you're married in a community property state then she'll likely get half of the equity. If it's an equitable dist…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 05:54 PM
5

100%
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 05:49 PM
3

That's this trick. It was used on me. Attorneys coach women on how to do it every time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 03:20 AM
12

Correction: G.I. Jane 2
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 03:07 AM
24

Well, the whole Will Smith/Chris Rock debacle made it clear you can't make fun of balding women.
/r/MensRights29/03/22 12:39 AM
0

When I divorced one of my stipulations was that she not have new men over at the family home with new men. My attorney said it was actually a reasonable request and it was enforceable. It was part of our parenting plan. She got back on the CC and I was concerned about who and what my kids would be seeing. It could be a state by state thing. I'm in a very conservative state so maybe a place like CA wouldn't go for it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 05:10 PM
4

The judge won't even put something like that in there. Politely tell the judge you'd like to plan weekend events of your own with the kids, but you don't object to her taking the kids to church on her weekends.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 05:04 PM
3

If they both agree to it and put it into the parenting plan then it would be enforceable. No way should he do that. It would seriously hamper his ability to plan things with his kids. Big mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 05:03 PM
2

Your time with the kids on the weekend is your time. Her time is her time. To me, it looks like the kids go to church every other week and do fun things with you every other week. This could work out really well for you. I see the kids wanting to spend more time with you really quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 05:02 PM
4

I guess anyone actively in the biz does.
/r/MensRights28/03/22 04:51 PM
1

Man, take her out drinking and dancing. Have a good time talking and laughing. Shouldn't be too hard to play this one especially because she doesn't want divorce. Tell her that if she doesn't want divorce then you both need to make an effort to reconnect. Even when my ex and I were at major odds I never slept outside the marital bed and I'd still initiate sex. This is months before divorce. Who knows, by 2023 you might not want to divorce at all and the kids and family would be better for it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 04:45 PM
15

Grow up and show some maturity, kiddo.
/r/MensRights28/03/22 04:15 PM
34

Who even watches the Oscars?
/r/MensRights28/03/22 09:39 AM
8

Let's see.... she was a foreign National who married into the US. She has a US born daughter. She has threatened to abscond with the child back to her home nation. I don't think it would be hard to convince a judge of the danger.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 08:02 AM
6

IMO she used you to help her raise her kids, house them, etc. Now that her mission is accomplished she's dipping out. I'd consider the time, effort, and money you put into her kids as PAID IN FULL. I don't think you owe her a dime. If anything, she should pay YOU. Kids cost more to raise than the part I'm sure she chipped in. She's not walking away with nothing. She ps walking away with raised children which she couldn't do on her own. I'm guessing you kept them out of some seedy apartment or of…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 07:47 AM
8

With the threats she already levied at him of absconding with the child it would be a HARD NO from me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 07:45 AM
2

With the issues you brought forth I would not allow it. Go watch "Not Without my Daughter" with Sally Field. Especially the a Middle East. Here's the full movie free in 12 parts. If you have a lawyer I'd call them up immediately. Your ex would have to get a judge to force you to permit it if you refuse.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 07:44 AM
1

Depends. If looks are what you strive for then you'll aim as high as you can. If other factors important to you then you may be willing to go a point or two down. I'd rather have a sweet, kind, and agreeable 6 than a bitchy 8-9 that's always complaining. People are a package consisting of many different attributes and you should take in the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:07 AM
2

Keep them up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 03:32 AM
3

I prefer this route here. She doesn't want the divorce. So, I'd see if I could smooth it over until 2023. If she's willing to still be a decent wife then bury the hatchet and make the best of it until 2023. Best for him and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 02:04 AM
3

She doesn't want the divorce so she'll get jealous and that peaceful cohabitation goes right out the window.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:49 AM
9

With 3 kids I'd honestly play house until 2023 when she gets a better paying job. Otherwise you're going to get slaughtered on child support and probably alimony. You guys are amicable, she doesn't want a divorce, so just play along until 2023. Move back into the marital bed, sleep with her, play husband, and then when she graduates and gets the job decide on whether you want divorce still. That's what I'd do if there is no animosity which doesn't really sound like there is.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:47 AM
2

Do NOT watch them at her place. Pick up your daughter for the night and drop off in the morning. Her nieces aren't your problem. If it's her scheduled time then tell her to figure it out. She's wants you to still be her husband except you can't live there and she's not fucking you. That's the worst deal I've ever heard.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:31 AM
3

I would suggest only communicating through email from now on. Block her on your phone from phone calls and texts. This way if she threatens you it's on record. Set up a separate email account that's only for her. If she wants to change the parenting plan then refile to set a new one and ask for attorney fees since she's the cause of the change. Get all of her threats in writing. It's bad faith.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 09:18 PM
5

The initial oxytocin honeymoon period is more infatuation and desire than love. Love does grow over time. But, it's still conditional. Even a dog's love is conditional.start kicking your dog every time you walk by it and see how quickly he stops loving you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 07:42 PM
5

Hire a nanny or someone to do it in the morning and afternoon until you get home. That's what I'd do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 02:48 AM
1

At least the women admit they're playing the victim.
/r/MensRights27/03/22 01:02 AM
8

Yes, she can drag it out. Depending on the situation, you can Motion the Court to permit the sale without her permission if you can demonstrate bad faith on her part. Stopping paying the mortgage will just fuck your credit, get you in trouble with the judge, and maybe even foreclosed on where you lose all equity. So, don't do that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 10:15 PM
3

Yeah, she'll be around tons of guys every day at the gym. It's almost a 100% chance she be a serial cheater while he's totally oblivious that she's getting piped down by gym bros.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 06:22 PM
5

Women are usually definitely more calculating and they know the laws are 100% on their side. That's why they file 80% of all divorces. They get cash and prizes at the divorce court and the man ends up in some tiny apartment for 10 years while he supports her lavish lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 06:20 PM
5

Sounds like you have a pretty good picture of how shit your life would've been with this entitled brat. If you married her and had kids then you'd likely be divorced in under 5 years while being loaded down with child support and alimony because of the income disparity. Marriage is not a viable option for men in the West these days. You're signing a lifelong financial contract with a woman who will change many times over her life... especially at only 24. She's already shown more red flags than …
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 06:18 PM
1

Watch the film. It's an old film from New Zealand that won a ton of awards. Some parts are hard to watch. It's the worst and most realistic scene of man on woman DV I've ever seen to this day. It's an excellent film though a sad one. But, I highly recommend it. It's available to rent on YouTube and probably Amazon Prime, too. Might even be free on Amazon Prime. Not sure. DISCLAIMER: This is simply a movie review and recommendation and not an encouragement for any type of violence. This type of r…
/r/MensRights26/03/22 05:53 PM
1

In my state they are all practicing family law attorney yes with their own practice. Some are retired judges (who obviously are attorneys, too).
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 05:40 PM
4

The sooner she leaves the safer he'll be.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 10:08 AM
0

3 out of 4 of my serious LTRs and a marriage were physically violent with me. Stay single and avoid the issue. Women are a dangerous liability. r/Marriageisntworthit
/r/MensRights26/03/22 09:50 AM
1

This woman deserves a 5 year stint in the clink.
/r/MensRights26/03/22 09:21 AM
2

This girl is 16 and indoctrinated into feminism. She doesn't know shit, doesn't offer any facts, just goes to the rape victim hood part. Truth is, the term rape has evolved from a man forcing himself on an unwilling woman to now just being a woman who was totally consenting and the next day regrets it or gets mad at him for something. That, or it's a completely false allegation.
/r/MensRights26/03/22 09:03 AM
1

Document, record, and petition for primary custody.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 08:39 AM
11

Give her a date to be out by. File for divorce and ask for sole use of the home. Wear a body am so she doesn't frame you for DV and get YOU thrown out of the house. Avoid her in the home as much as possible. No dinner together, chit chat unless it's about the kids. But, buy and use that bodycam. Best protection for you right now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 08:35 AM
2

And she's a 2.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/03/22 06:33 PM
22

Your privilege isn't going anywhere due to the LGBT banner.
/r/MensRights25/03/22 08:15 AM
9

She wants to go where she has more freedom. She's 16. When I was 16 I was doing lots of things I shouldn't have been. But, it was a great part of my life that I don't regret.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 07:50 AM
4

I still remember it and will rewatch it. I saw it when it first came out. Rented it on VHS. That was eye-opening to my mind at the time. Edit: Removed the spoilers.
/r/MensRights25/03/22 06:33 AM
4

Ver seen that Kiwi film "Once Were Warriors?l
/r/MensRights25/03/22 05:54 AM
3

Reminds me of my Lucky Brand jeans. When you unzip the fly it says, "Lucky you." It always gets a response from them.
/r/MensRights25/03/22 05:39 AM
1

Israel has proven it to be true.
/r/MensRights25/03/22 03:31 AM
2

A mediator is an attorney. But, I'd still consult with my own attorney on the side.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:25 AM
3

Then you have to pay for freezer storage (cryo).
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 07:24 AM
5

No way would I do it. There are always side-effects.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:54 AM
4

Absolutely not. My guess is it suppresses testosterone. Get a reversible vasectomy. The procedure takes 15 minutes. You pay more up front and on the back end if you decide to have children. But, this is chemical castration.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 03:42 AM
10

Any time a woman uses the "mansplaining" comment then retaliate with "femsplaining." It reveals how ridiculous the term is, we are both adults. Can't we have a conversation?
/r/MensRights24/03/22 03:25 AM
2

You're going to get fucked up the ass no matter what. But, stay in the family home with your children if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 01:07 PM
1

Legally any extra curriculars are optional. So, Beto power is inherent,
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 01:06 PM
4

If a man said that to a female subordinate he'd be canned.
/r/MensRights22/03/22 11:04 AM
1

Where's the disconnect?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 08:02 AM
1

Usually just being friendly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:44 AM
5

Well, that's on them. I don't walk up and randomly talk to women for no reason. But, engagement with them is necessary in society. Stop looking at them as sex objects and instead just regular people to deal with in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:00 AM
4

Don't make an excuse for your lack of skill. Conversation is a skill. Learn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 05:57 AM
8

Yes, US. I'm chatty with everyone and that's probably why I don't struggle with women. Knowing how to talk to people is a valuable skill. Get a sales job. In 2-3 years you'll be able to talk to anybody on their level.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 05:55 AM
9

This is wrong. I'm constantly in public areas talking with women and there's no sexual attraction or desire to turn it into anything else into a polite convo.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 05:05 AM
1

The only male refugees are children. And, those come with mothers. So, if you're really concerned, open up your home to them when the crisis expands globally.
/r/MensRights20/03/22 03:04 AM
6

As are Russian.
/r/MensRights20/03/22 03:03 AM
2

Get a lawyer. I've done a lot of Pro Se representation and it all comes down to being in the club. If she has a lawyer that knows the judge and you're Pro Se you're fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 02:43 AM
1

6 months probation
/r/MensRights19/03/22 09:29 AM
6

Stay where you are. DO NOT MOVE TO S KOREA. This is a phase for her due to, like you said, poor influences. That's what also led to my divorce. My ex met these floosies who would party all the time and my ex wanted to live the party life again. If I were you I'd do my hardest to keep your daughter, get a lower paying job, if necessary. It'll be supplemented with HER child support. But, you only have the kids when they are children once. Mine are grown and it was a really hard thing for me to wat…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 03:00 AM
4

I had full custody for years while my ex went back on the CC. Then I did 50/50 for a few years when she showed back up in the kids' lives. She made it unbearable to deal with her so then I went to EOW. Women are good and chasing dads out of their kid's lives... usually to increase child support payments.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 01:03 AM
1

Don't remove insurance. You're still married so any damage she causes you're liable for, too. Just file divorce papers and have her served. If you don't know where she is then most process serving companies also offer skip tracing to locate her. If you know where she works then serve her there. And, yes. Get a lawyer to do this. And, agreed with the comments below. Don't transfer any property at all. You're in a holding pattern until there's a settlement or judgment.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 11:35 PM
4

If you're at work and she's home drunk with the kids then call the police and ask for a welfare check. The police show up, find her drunk with the kids alone, and now you might have something to go on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:03 PM
2

File for custody if she's an unfit parent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 03:43 PM
8

Let her have it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 05:22 AM
4

Probably just a territorial thing. I've slept with the same women sometimes as my friend did. But, it was never a girlfriend of his. More just a party girl in our group except for once in my teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 07:32 AM
6

My friends know more about me than I'd ever tell a girl so that's not the case. It's just more territorial.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 07:31 AM
35

It's always been an off limits thing for my friends and I.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 06:33 AM
40

I'd get a lawyer. There's a reason she doesn't want lawyers involved and it isn't to help you based on what you've written. It's to keep you in the dark on what you're entitled to. You can assume she's already consulted one or two.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 05:26 AM
1

She'll pay based on your jurisdiction's minimum wage.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 02:43 AM
1

Do not do it. The same thing happened to me and 9 years later I was cleaned out by her in court, she alienated my kids from me, used the police with false allegations for leverage, etc. If you're happy now then stay that way. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Do not make a lifelong commitment (with a 50% statistical divorce rate) based on outside pressure.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 02:42 AM
1

If you voluntarily take a lower-paying job it's likely your child support won't be modified unless your ex agrees. I know guys that have completely lost their jobs bs and STILL wasn't granted a modification.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 02:36 AM
15

If you have kids then it's usually to keep the connection to them as their mother. When I got divorced my ex said she was going back to her maiden name. Never did and I wanted her to because I hate the association with her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 11:41 PM
5

Watch the world screech to a halt if we all went on strike for 2 days.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 10:09 PM
7

Why doesn't she stay back and fight and let the father take them to safety? Fathers are much more capable of protecting their child(ren) on the perilous journey out of the country. They also would be better equipped to protect them from kidnapping and trafficking.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:36 PM
8

I don't don't think either gender has easy lives. But, women's are definitely easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:14 PM
12

I'm sorry. But, I think that's a silly comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:13 PM
0

Well, that's because men run the world. How would you feel about the statement, "women cook the food so they deserve to starve during this war."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:09 PM
5

Very, very few compared to the ones fleeing to safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:07 PM
20

Feminism is a cute idea in times of peace and safety. Once the shit hits the fan women all cry and clamor to flee. Ukraine is just a reminder of what we already know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:05 PM
4

Sounds like you could hit her with abandonment. 17 months is a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 08:01 PM
2

Same. If she fights against equal custody in any way then your SOL.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 08:00 PM
3

I spent at least $50k on my divorce and over $200k in child support so far. I get it. Depending on the age of your kids it sounds like you have a long road ahead of you. Buckle in and just accept it for what it is. The machine is all-powerful and she's working it against you. Don't make the mistake of getting remarried once this fiasco is finalized. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 07:59 PM
3

If you're not pounding her someone else is.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:37 AM
2

That's the rule. But, she can set him up for charges.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:36 AM
2

Body cam at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:36 AM
1

It is bad in general. But, us men need to adapt to the new rules of the game.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:35 AM
1

You just need to document why you move out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:34 AM
2

If you're in a one-party recording state then use a small voice recorder. If it's two-party then definitely make it obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:33 AM
1

She's cheating on you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 01:27 AM
0

I'm 40s and can pull women that are 18. I don't . But, I get the look from them all the time just at the grocery or corner store.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 09:07 PM
2

Charisma and friendliness. I worked with a fat guy that was a 3-4. He was dumb by marrying over and over. But, he's on his 3rd marriage now and was happy last I saw him a few years ago. Who knows? Probably divorced again. Though, his women were always low level so maybe aim below your station? Shitty advice. But, if you're hell bent on having a partner then aim down if you don't have qualities for equal or up potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 05:31 AM
30

She used you to support her through school. No offense. But, don't mourn her or the divorce. She played you like a fiddle. So, now it's time to look forward instead of backwards. Do you have kids together? Do it amicably if possible. Faster and a lot cheaper that way. Go to a court-approved mediator and they'll help you reach a settlement on property (assuming no children) and submit it for a court to rubber stamp. Then, don't get married again and repeat the same mistake. Your STBXW is what's k…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 03:24 AM
2

Every time I let my ex make a decision I knew was a bad one it cost us a LOT of money (think real estate, cars, etc) I'll never let a woman make a financial decision that I'm firmly against again. But, I won't get married again so it's a moot point. But, let's just say I'd be half a million richer had I held my ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 08:50 PM
3

Having kids together makes the process a lot harder. You're tied to this woman for life. You'll see her all the time up until you practically die. Graduations, weddings, births of grandchildren, etc. My advice is to get a new girlfriend just as a casual person to have fun with. The easiest way to get over and old flame is to find another one. Just don't make the horrible mistake of getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 04:49 PM
-1

This topic again? Ha! Agreed on the point though. Child support should be eliminated anyway. Lots of women baby trap men for an 18 year meal ticket. And, the child support amounts are in no way related to the costs of cari g for the child. It's based on the man's income. So, some women get $50k/month. Those must be some expensive diapers.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 09:02 AM
1

I must be lucky because I have a pretty easy time finding relationships. Most guys are are flakey or inexperienced. The hard part is maintaining that relationship. You really need to know your partners likes, dislikes, personality style, etc. also, a lot of sacrifice and compromise are required. The problem comes when one doesn't compromise or argue well. Then the shit hits the fan.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 08:04 AM
1

Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 06:34 AM
3

No. A reasonable person can be persuaded as such with dialogue and reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:45 AM
4

Yes, let's discuss compromise. You say, "hun, let's go to my sister's house for dinner tonight.l He says, "i had a long day and really don't feel like it." Where's the compromise? You either go or you don't go. If you go then he capitulated to you. If you don't go then you capitulated to him. The only way around it is negotiation. So, if he agrees to go then you offer to give hime something he wants that you've been saying no to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:33 AM
1

The truth. That's what. No nagging helps keep the stress down, too, and that helps me sleep like a baby. There is NO WAY to have a disagreement without one person getting their way unless, that is, you offer something he wants in exchange for what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:27 AM
-8

No matter how you slice it; one capitulates to the other. And, in marriage my guess is you press and press until he finally gives in and says, "yes, dear" just to shut you up and end the struggle. I was married for over a decade. I know the drill. This is why I don't marry anymore. If my girlfriend doesn't respect my final call it means she wants to wear the pants and be the husband. That was the reason for my divorce. She wouldn't shut the fuck up unless I gave in. So, you have a beta husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:24 AM
-4

Only one gets the final call in a disagreement where you're at a stalemate on a decision. The one who has final say is the leader. I didn't say to be a dog on a leash. What I meant was that the final decision is made by the man. If you don't accept that then you either have a weak man or you have a defendant in family court.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:01 AM
2

Because women have bigger social circles and need to save face.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 11:32 PM
6

It's not sexist. Men want a cooperative woman vs one that competes with him. You can't have two leaders in a relationship. If you want to be the leader as a woman then you get out of bed at night and check out at 2am why your kitchen window just broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 11:31 PM
3

It's because they know they get the house, kids, and the husband's paycheck. Men don't file in unhappy marriages because they know they'll lose all of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 10:00 PM
1

I get along great with women wherever I go. You just need some charisma.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:59 PM
1

A first date isn't even really a date. It's a meet and greet to see if you like each other enough to go on a date. I used to always pay on dates. Restaurant dates, too. Now it's a quick drink date just for me to determine if I want to see her again. I've even picked up the restaurant bill on total bunk dates. Never again. I've woken up. Never do restaurant dates until after she's earned it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 05:01 PM
3

"The spark" often dissipates with time. If you chase the spark then you'll be constantly in a revolving state of NRE, breaking up, seeking NRE, breaking up, etc. If you are looking for a long term partner then at some point you can't just depend on the spark to hold it together.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:35 PM
1

It's completely unfair of her to make you choose. Keep them apart and keep the peace. You mom will ALWAYS be your mom. Your wife has a 50% chance of no longer being your wife at some point. Based on her behavior I'd actually put that at 70%.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 07:27 PM
1

That was my divorce!
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 07:25 PM
1

Take records and after 2-3 months of it just file for a Modification of Custody and Support seeking primary physical custody since that's essentially what's happening. It sounds like she wants to go enjoy the party life, travel, etc. So, if you're more stable and enjoy having your kids then that's the plan. As far as the 2 that are hers from previous relationships that's going to come down to how long you were a step-parent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 07:24 PM
3

That's exactly what my situation was. I really didn't love my wife anymore. She changed dramatically from a sweet agreeable young lady when we married into an over-assertive bossy dictator towards the end. But, I didn't want to lose my family (daily interaction with children) so I tried to hang in there for that. That was a big mistake. You're on point with exercise, no alcohol, good consistent sleep (which the no-alcohol + exercise helps). Add a healthful diet to that. Avoid too much junk food,…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 07:21 PM
6

I don't dont below 25 just because of the maturity gap. Everything is on a spectrum though. I prefer women in their 30s as long as they aren't hoping to get married and have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 06:47 PM
1

Simple. Good looking to me (and that doesn't me she has to be a dime). Not obese, argumentative/combative, agreeable, doesn't argue dirty, kind heart, a gentle spirit, employed with a reasonable career, a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets, respectful/not disrespectful, optimistic, and athletic is a plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 06:11 PM
1

Fighting doesn't make you "non-masculine." Guys grow out of it. But, if you're in the bar or club scene (which is after 21) sometimes you have no choice when some drunken fool gives you no choice. As far as work and career progression... the increase in depression sometimes really hurts men's ability to have the energy to be assertive. I've seen it before from guys who are otherwise very masculine. The problem is men are more reluctant to deal with it and so sometimes stagnate. That's something …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 05:58 PM
7

Because women are most than just a piece of p-sleeve. I've found a unicorn before. Plus, I don't like the idea of the woman I'm banging having had banged 10 other dudes that week With a prostitute you always have to wear a condom even for oral. And, I'd NEVER go down on one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 06:14 AM
2

A history of prostitution completely eliminates any smv she might have had in the past. Hire a PI to dig into her entire life if you're considering bringing her home to mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:41 AM
9

There's an inverse relationship with prostitutes and women that are girlfriend worthy. If you're wanting a relationship with a woman soon you'll need to hire a PI and have him dig up her past and provide a report.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:40 AM
1

I'm interest in learning about this household item.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:36 AM
1

I'm super ecstatic that we've determined to be of the same mindset (roughly)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:30 AM
0

Victim mindset by some.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:29 AM
0

I'd like to know how many guys watch porn, but don't relieve themselves to it. Isn't that the point? That's like a woman buying a vibrator, but not getting off with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:23 AM
4

I don't. I think these are all mutually-beneficial arrangements that consenting adults have voluntarily agreed to. It's the young women who always call the older guy a predator (even if they're on Seeking Arrangements, themselves). The point is that both people are getting something out of the deal. Look at escorts and John's. Who's the predator? She wants his money and he wants her time. I argue that neither are predators. They're both conducting voluntary business.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:21 AM
12

Who's the predator? Him looking for young tail or her exploiting his money and established life? If it's a mutually-beneficial arrangement then who cares? Looking at Sugar babies. Are they the predators or are the older men? People, sex and relationships, especially marriage, has always been a business transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 11:20 PM
2

The opposite argument is that "men aren't settling unless everyone knows he married a hoe."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 11:16 PM
2

Disagree. I care up to a certain point. My last girlfriend didn't tell me he full story until we were a couple years in. It definitely made me view her differently even though my count was twice that of hers. Didn't I dump her over it? No. But, it definitely changed my opinions her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 11:09 PM
2

What he should do is sit down with his wife and hammer out a parenting plan. Meet with a mediator. It'll cost a couple hundred bucks and it's split between the two of you. If you're somewhat amicable then she should agree knowing it's going to save tons of lawyer time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 09:21 PM
3

Your lawyer will have this. It's standard procedure.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 11:24 PM
2

File a Petition for Divorce. Make sure your lawyer files Motions for Temporary Orders RE: Property and Children. Do it immediately. Some states will automatically issues those orders. But, talk to your lawyer to make sure they do it or he does it. Don't let her establish residency there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 09:38 PM
1

Sharpen up your look and get on Tinder. You'll feel better fast.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 11:35 AM
1

You told the story. So, it's what you believe.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 01:34 AM
1

Dude, you're the one going through a second divorce and being kicked to the curb. There's your answer. How did relearning trust work out for you? 😂
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 12:58 AM
1

I used the Y and they were great.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 12:17 AM
1

Agreed. Time with your kids is irreplaceable. You can always make more money. You can't get back time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 12:16 AM
1

Agreed. Hiring a nanny could help a lot. But, you're about to get slaughtered with child support since she's a SAHM. I made friends with my neighbors who had children and paid them to watch my kids for a few hours per day. The wife ended up trying to parlay that relationship into a romantic one and I don't shit where I sleep. So, a good idea might be to find a hot, young, responsible college student. You might get some favors that'll really help your mental health post-divorce. If you live next …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 12:14 AM
10

They just won't quit until suicide becomes men's primary cause of death.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 10:50 PM
1

Ah. She has home field advantage. This is why I'd never move into a woman's home. Gives her the leverage. If I want to live with a woman again then she comes to my place. But, that won't be happening.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 08:00 PM
1

One question. Why are you the one getting an apartment?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:43 PM
2

100% And, she'll get there and stall you out pretending to "want to make it work." Don't let her buy time. Call an attorney immediately. To answer your question; she's allowed to transport the child anywhere unless maybe it's out of the country. She's a legal custodian and has both legal and physical custody. You need a lawyer now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:34 PM
2

Agreed. Every girlfriend I've had hated condoms, too. Just make sure she isn't some skank hoe that'll give you a STD.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:32 PM
2

Get it. There's nothing better than busting inside.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:30 PM
1

I have. It's insurance and if you find a nice girlfriend that you trust you never need a condom again. It took me an initial consultation which was essentially an interview to make sure I knew what I was doing. The procedure was uncomfortable (imagine a man and woman down at your business pulling, stretching with a knife). Overall it took 15 minutes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:29 PM
1

Congrats on the freedoms. Still a shit sandwich. Don't repeat the mistake of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 05:22 PM
2

One is obviously the bully.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:57 PM
2

You're already feeling distance. I'd correct it now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 08:24 PM
3

You need to negotiate 50% custody. And, if she doesn't agree then you take her to court for it. I'm NAL but I can give you some guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 07:51 PM
4

I'm 40s and never date women over 35. It's totally normal. Get them at 22-24.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 07:16 PM
1

Men are the prize. Period. Let's argue this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:35 PM
2

Because I'm a main participant in a sub that women don't like. They track me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 05:45 PM
2

You only need to burn your hand on the stove once.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 08:05 PM
4

Don't let there be a 3rd. There shouldn't have been a second. Edit: Downvote? Explain why.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 06:13 PM
1

Your attorney is more worried about his relationship with the judge than he is with you. Provide the evidence and INSIST that they file it. Threaten your attorney with disqualification if they refuse. They will move quick after that. PM me for more info on how to do this of your lawyer is being lazy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 04:48 PM
6

They don't. You have to rub their nose in it. If you have evidence the make a Motion for it with the evidence. They can't ignore it at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 06:45 AM
11

Capture the perjury and file for a Motion of Perjury. If there's and Order telling her not to do what she did. If you don't do anything then nothing happened in the court's eyes. Ask your lawyer to immediately file a Motion for Temporary Orders on Property and Children. Seems like he dropped the ball.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 05:01 AM
11

Dude, she is trying to take the cake. If your schedule allows it then absolutely get 50% PHYSICAL custody. Don't give her all of that money. Very thing is split down the middle unless one of you brought debt into the marriage (like your student loan maybe). But, "her savings" is your savings. If you get 50% then she'll probably pay YOU child support based on income. Screw the cars. Each take your own cars. Not worth fighting for. Whoever keeps the house has to offset more assets to the one movin…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 01:50 AM
3

The NCO should not be mutual if she was the one who committed DV. If I were you I'd be petitioning for full custody under these circumstances or, at minimum 50/50. Either way, a mutual NCO puts you in legal jeopardy of being arrested when you haven't done anything wrong. For example, let's say you're at the park with the kids and she shows up. Do you both now get arrested for violating it? She should be the only one in violation rather than both. Have your lawyer tell her lawyer to kick rocks. I…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 09:05 PM
3

What's the reason for the NCO? Is it unilateral or bilateral?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 08:39 PM
6

Online dating sucks. Plus, you need to take some time to gather your head. Your time is spent better than swiping on apps. Lots of women simply use dating apps for attention and validation. Start watching Coach Greg Adams on YouTube. You'll get comfortable being alone pretty damn fast.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:04 PM
1

Family courts are called "courts of equity. They are totally different types of court wither own rules of civil procedure. You have no constitutional rights in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:19 PM
3

Yep. When I got laid off they refused to change my obligation so I had to drain my retirement. Essentially she got to double dip my earnings. Lesson learned and that's why I spend time here educating men. At least my loss can be other men's gain.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:24 AM
4

I paid mine in full direct to my ex. She lied and said she didn't get it. I had to sue her and go to court. She lied in court and said, "oops, I made a mistake." Nothing legally happened to her. Nothing ever happens to women in family court. But, if a guy pulled that he might get 3 days in the clink.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:11 AM
2

Better keep records (check copies or photocopies) if you paid her directly. Easier to send it to the child support govt dept
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:04 AM
8

They one paying (usually the man) pays the tax for the support. The receiving leech gets it tax free and can spend it on whatever she wants with no accountability. I'd recommend paycheck deduction. Writing that monthly check will make you hate her. No difference if you pay with a check or deducted. Good thing about paycheck is it automatically keeps records so she can never say you didn't pay this or that month (like my lying greedy ex did). I had to take her to court for a Satisfaction of Judgm…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 02:53 AM
1

Better make sure your attorney knows how to execute that separation of finances
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:57 AM
6

Probably been fucking him for several months anyway and he's already told her she can move in.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 11:47 PM
1

They are married. She can't go bankrupt alone. They will both go bankrupt. That's what marriage is. It's both or nothing when it comes to credit and bills. Get divorced ASAP and separate himself from her as quickly as possible. This will minimize the damage she does to him and also get him moving towards rebuilding as quickly as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 10:22 PM
5

No money until by the ordered by the court. She isn't going to do you any favors.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 10:20 PM
1

It won't even matter. They are still married so the transfer is a marital asset. It won't offset anything in the divorce any more than you going out for an expensive dinner tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 08:50 PM
2

If you got arrested for domestic violence you'd really get fucked. Don't even think about it. Actually, buy a bodycam online and always wear it around the house. Or, at minimum a small voice recorder (not your phone as they turn off too easily) in your pocket secretly around her at all times so she doesn't do this to you like was done to me. Make sure to verify you're in a one-party recording state. If it's a two-party state then I'd go for the bodycam and let her know you're wearing it. Meanwhi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 08:26 PM
5

Damn, bro. That's some savage shit! Definitely stick with the fitness as it's a great stress relief. I recommend HIIT, or lifting moderate weight for higher reps with high intensity cardio like running (or even jogging). Try something like F45 if there's one by you. Do not take this out on your children. They'll need you now more than ever. She'll have no problem finding some other simp to take your place. The most important thing is you deal with your anger, say nothing negative about her publi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 08:22 PM
1

Consulting, or even hiring, attorneys doesn't preclude mediation. My divorce was messy. We were both lawyered-up. Yet, the judge still ordered a minimum of 3 rounds of mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 07:57 PM
1

If the equity offsets at least an equal amount of your assets that you retain then that's a strategy you can use. If you guys are amicable then a lot of legal expenses can be saved with a mediator vs adversarial lawyers. Just don't pay her anything until the settlement is ORDERED/DECREED.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 07:39 PM
1

No "verbal agreements." At the very least go to a court-approved mediator so they can draft up a proposed settlement. That's the only way to make sure that the agreement is enforceable. If you just verbally agree she can always later go for more saying bullshit like "that's not what she meant, agreed to, understood, etc." GET A COURT ORDER/DECREE.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 07:30 PM
12

Don't just throw money to her. It needs to be court ordered. If you guys are amicable then use a mediator. Also, separation for women is just "a break" so she can go screw other guys. I'd never recommend separation. Just divorce and move on. If you're looking for separation then the marriage is already over. If she wants a one or two month unofficial separation to collect her thoughts then she should stay with a friend. If that's not good enough for her it means she already knows she's not comin…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 06:42 PM
2

Ex is probably using that call nightly to snoop into what you're doing on your time. I'd get rid of it. You need to minimize contact with an ex like this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 05:16 PM
1

After reading the posts on this sub, coupled with my ex's response when she asked my number and I told her, I'll never tell a woman again, ha!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 01:26 AM
7

I absolutely would try to find a way to relocate simply to be with your children consistently. Fight for 50% custody, too. A judge will see the extraordinary step you took on moving and possibly be very good to you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 11:59 PM
13

Absolutely do NOT volunteer for this swindle she's trying to pull on you. I fell for it years ago in order to get my CS lowered monthly. Then, they double the tax credit and I never saw an adjustment in CS. Keep those credits.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:13 PM
1

Your attorney dropped the ball by not motioning for them then. At this point I'd still ask him to motion for them which should put a halt to further shopping sprees. Also, document the prior shopping sprees so you can demonstrate bad faith. If you have kids you definitely want a TRO on children immediately. Also, watch for large cash withdrawals or overly-large grocery store purchases where she's getting large amounts of cash back with her grocery shopping, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 05:35 PM
1

Temporary restraining order on finances and/or children. It means you can't move the kids out of state, can't shift assets or make unreasonable purchases, etc. It makes sure one party doesn't waste the marital estate or steal away the kids during the divorce process. Your attorney should have motioned for them if they weren't automatically issued. My state automatically issues them. https://texaslawhelp.org/article/temporary-orders-temporary-restraining-orders-tros
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 05:20 PM
5

Totally. He should message her and say, "congratulations. Now you're his problem." That'll piss her off.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 04:05 PM
1

Did you get a TRO on property issued? It's usually automatic and would penalize her for her shopping sprees.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 03:52 PM
1

Of course teaching free love is going to result in more sex than a "no sex till marriage" message. This is like saying parents who feed their kids healthy food have healthier children.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:32 AM
9

Yes, I did. I still had my career so I was having to stay with a local friend for a few months until I was able to get an apartment. She frivolously used this dirty tactic on me. She later got evicted in a few months and I ended up with my children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 03:15 AM
7

Honestly, you're still married so the money for her attorney is a marital asset. I would fight this in round 2 with the property and asset division. Also, get another attorney. This guy is dropping the ball on you. I had an attorney who did that and his one mistake cost me tremendously. Attorneys should be a lot more conscientious.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 02:31 AM
1

Just trying to help
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 01:40 AM
1

Is COVID an added exclusion in the Decree? No.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 01:37 AM
1

File for the violation that already happened. Guard time with your children. They won't be kids for long.PM me if you want some free advice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 01:36 AM
4

If she wants an "amicable divorce" then do mediation. Cheap, fast, no hard feelings later. If she refuses mediation then she doesn't want an amicable divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 07:42 PM
1

I'd recommend at least a year to bounce your life back. Maybe 2-3 depending on how long the marriage was and how messy the divorce is. You can use dating apps to get quick fixes in the meantime.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 05:30 PM
1

If you have ordered time in the decree and she withholds it then that is contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 05:25 PM
1

My ex and I watched porn during sex but she had a preference for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 04:17 AM
1

I'm NAL so I can't act as one. But, I'm a good litigator on my own (Pro Se). I can direct you to resources but I can't actually tell you what to do legally. PM me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 09:44 PM
1

Well, show up to the DNO hearing with a few character witnesses if you have any. Call them to the bench to testify to your character. She'll go first, you go second, and she might go last. But, surprise them with a few well-prepared character references. If you didn't commit the violence (you rarely do) then I'd subpoena police reports, photos, etc. if nothing shows physical damage then it's a he's said, she said issue unless something did happen and your child is questioned. Women use DV all th…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 09:41 PM
1

No. You can Pro Se. It'll take a bunch of work, study, and effort. But, you're either geared for being an attorney or not. If you aren't divorced yet then all the marital assets are equally yours. You can motion for the sale of the house (if you own), get 50% of the equity, and use that. Or, simply let your STBX know that a prolonged court battle will leave you all broke and a more sensible option is to mediate. Did you actually plead guilty to DV?
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 08:27 PM
4

Ethical non-monogamy. It means she gets to fuck other guys while still being married to him. Of course, he can do the same. But, as we all know she'll plow 20 guys for every 1 woman he plows. It very rarely doesn't end in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:23 PM
1

Any expenses on attorneys during divorce come from the marital estate.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:16 PM
2

If it's in the decree then it's your time. File a Motion for Criminal Contempt. Save all communication and always do it via email or other documented ways.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:15 PM
1

Maybe a bit. But, the point is sound. Crime pays if it's underground. It never pays out in the open.if you have kids both are risky propositions.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:37 AM
0

What's the point of being a parent in prison? You traumatize the child, lose all respect, etc. the measly 3-4K you get in a bank robbery is easily earned in a month if you develop a skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:35 AM
4

Read this and tell me it doesn't ring true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 04:27 AM
0

I don't recommend any type of criminal activity. But, for a crime like that they'll place the child elsewhere if you're a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:21 AM
9

I'm sorry to tell you. But, your relationship is effectively over. She had you arrested and is preventing you from seeing your child. How can you ever trust her again? Have no contact with her and hire an attorney immediately l your only goals at this point are to maintain a relationship and contact with your child and the financial resources to be able to do so. She betrayed you already. She'll do it again. Get an attorney now. I've been down this road and have the luxury of hindsight.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 04:12 AM
0

Go rob a bank as a parent and see how that works out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:01 AM
1

Fraud at the very least. Even if it's civil you should be able to sue for all moneys spent within reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:00 AM
2

Women want confident, self-assured guys who are fit and things going on. But, it's a sliding scale. I knew a chubby guy who wasn't very good looking. He's also on his 3rd marriage. Coincidentally all of these women had kids from previous relationships. So, my guess is they are looking for security.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:55 AM
5

Depends what $5k means to you. I'm probably paying an extra $20-30k just to not have to deal with her. Mental health and peace is valuable. You'll make more money. Let the greedy chick get her way and go about your business. Pay it forward by helping other men from your experience. That's what I'm doing here and that has value.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:59 PM
3

Well, a lawyer will cost you $5k. So, I'd say just to ride it out as long as everything else in life is covered. The stress alone of another case is worth saving.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:51 PM
6

Her rent is probably coming up, too.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/02/22 11:47 PM
5

Well, keep records of all payments so she can't later come back and claim that you haven't paid. I liked having it automatically withdrawn from my paycheck. Less interaction with her and I didn't have to write that check every month which would have just pissed me off at her more. If your ex is respectful she'll give you her financials without needing to go through discovery. But, remember, she doesn't want you to pay less so anticipate some delays and maybe trickery. If serious money is on the …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:35 PM
2

Responded.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:15 PM
3

My decree had a built-in step down as they aged out. 18 or 19 if they haven't graduated HS yet. File a Petition to Modify Support. You might even be able to simply call your local Health & Welfare office the collects the support and have them administer the modification for a small fee. Hopefully your ex is agreeable with turning over financials. If she isn't then you'll need to file Discovery and Production of Documents. She'll typically get 20 or 30 days to fill the discovery. If she still fai…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:06 PM
2

This just goes to show that intelligence doesn't equate to common sense.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:53 PM
2

I don't want to get into any specific details. My lawyer dropped the ball on a filing which meant I'd need to go through the whole ordeal again. In hindsight I should have. But, I've been to court so many times over the past 12 years I just never want to go there again. The bottom line is to just never allow yourself under the state's jurisdiction.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:30 PM
2

I could get it changed now. But, I'm almost free so let the thief have her money. I won't make the mistake again of trusting a woman so it's just an expensive life lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:20 PM
22

For sure get paternity tests done regardless of whether it changes anything. You need to know.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:47 PM
3

I understand the system very well. No change still.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:38 PM
5

Yes. No change.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:36 PM
10

Funny how my ex's earning potential never rose above minimum wage and she now earns probably more than me. Still no support change. Family court is the woman's world especially if you have a woman judge. I highly suggest any man that gets into a divorce to immediately find out who the judge is that it's assigned to. If it's a woman then immediately file a Motion to Disqualify without cause.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 02:48 PM
14

The judge will likely rule that you intentionally reduced your income. She is still getting paid.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 02:45 PM
2

Exactly. They'll tell you marriage is for love. But,when you get divorced it's all about money.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 01:49 PM
2

I think I just spent $50 during the time I read your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 01:46 PM
2

If women are lining up for it then it's reasonable for men to claim it, too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 01:45 PM
2

I've never heard that phrase and it's so true.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 01:44 PM
1

If you have the money then it's no comparison to having your children poisoned against you. I think I spent $70-80k. They wake up around 15-16.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 09:50 AM
1

Kids are weaponized against father routinely. You need an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 09:48 AM
2

It's amazing that marriage takes a minute but divorce takes a decade.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 12:41 AM
2

Don't let her off. The short term money you pay your attorney will bring back dividends.also, find a good attorney that you get along with. I've had a few. Some are good and some not so good.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 07:56 PM
2

Do have you an attorney. At least ask that they impute minimum wage on her. She has no money but she has a lawyer. How typical.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 07:19 PM
1

Crypto trading is good if you know how to play it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 06:43 PM
2

$250 with 4 kids? You lucked out. I would suggest learning how to cook so you can all eat well and not have to dine out. That's the first thing. Cook at home.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 06:42 PM
8

Finances are shared assets. So, it's as much on you as her. If you go through a full legal divorce then a judge might order her to repay, or at least offset the difference in property, in the trial. The main thing is just get out now. You can always make more money. You can't make more time. So, the thing you're fighting for here is your children.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 05:54 PM
10

That's called mediation. Find a court-approved mediator. This only works if you are both reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 05:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter