"Is that your uncle?"

InWeGoNow · 2022-03-02T18:48:57+00:00

That sucks! Don't worry. Your kids know better. I suspect the other kids just had a dumb moment of not realizing even married parents don't have to be attached at the hip.

It will work both ways. I had an emergency where I had to drop my kid off at her Mommy's during my time. Picking her up I joked, "how was Mommy daycare?" Without realizing how much that unintentionally hurt my ex.

I've found as long as I treat everything as the new normal, my daughter is good with it, and the other kids fall in line too then. Your cuddles weigh more heavily than other kid's comments.

WorkingItOutSomeday · 2022-03-02T19:14:58+00:00

Geeze...what is wrong with that other kid's uncle that he comes in and cuddles with them?

I wouldn't worry about it.

OraleEse13 · 2022-03-02T19:51:47+00:00

You need to negotiate 50% custody. And, if she doesn't agree then you take her to court for it. I'm NAL but I can give you some guidance.

syro23 · 2022-03-02T20:27:46+00:00

Fight for 50/50. Talk to a lawyer about it. Research shows 50/50 is best for the children, unless one of the parents is fucked up (drugs, crime, whatever) Kids so stupid stuff all the time, but if you feel like your kids are drifting away do something about it!

Good luck!

skittlebrow · 2022-03-02T22:35:58+00:00

They could have said, "Is that your grandpa?" to really twist the knife. Only thing you can do, is be as good as parent as you can be.

JonathanApple · 2022-03-03T03:30:31+00:00

Your pain is justified. I didn't sign up to be a visitor, I signed up to be a parent. Signed someone else with a 65/35 split.

It is actively damaging my child but nobody cares.

Hang in there.

Spodee5 · 2022-03-06T04:06:16+00:00

So all legal bullshit aside there will be a period of time while you are getting used to how others now view you as a single dad. I went from being a really outgoing social happy guy to having horrible social anxiety. My ex forced a move through the courts. I was lucky and fought spending nearly $60K to get 50% parenting time. So I do drop off and pick kids up 3-4 days a week at school. Every woman in that school would ask why are you single why are you divorced.....no matter what answer I gave them....it was horrible they typically reacted horribly and never spoke to me again and or wouldn't let their kids play with mine. My wife and I are divorced because I discovered she's a lesbian.

One mom who had been asking me for weeks why I was divorced, am I single, why I am single...I kind of deferred and didn't really say anything. She finally cornered me in the kindergarten coat closet and asked and I was so frustated and angry I finally told her "I found out my ex was a lesbian after 17 years of marriage I was blindsided". Diet coke geysered out of her mouth all over her daughter......I was mortified...still am.

The best thing I ever did for myself in these kinds of situations was to figure out how to reply with them in humor. Now when I am asked why we are divorced I make a joke about us both liking women too much everyone laughs and smiles. I mention that we are divorced because she cheated, because she hid that she was a lesbian, that she lied about abuse to force me out of my home.....no one wants that negativity

Title	"Is that your uncle?"
Author	rbanksy
Upvotes	28
Comments	46
Date	March 2, 2022 6:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/t56tcn/is_that_your_uncle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-that-your-uncle.1104463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104463

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