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Par_then_Bar Archive

View 15 posts and 192 comments by Par_then_Bar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

Telling her you know will feel really good... For about 5 minutes. You're now playing chess with someone who's playing checkers. Move your pieces accordingly and keep your mouth shut. You'll have your day to unleash but it's not today. Be smart
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 08:38 PM
8

Dude be happy!! This is a best case scenario. Women like that are nothing but trouble and your heartache would've been 10x worse down the road when she left or cheated on you. This is a big confidence booster and proof that you are worthy of love and attention from a beautiful woman. Now take that energy, go out there, and be SELECTIVE on who you spend more than 14 days time with. Well done sir
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:55 PM
2

Play "your song" while you burn it. Cry it all out. Burn anything else or hers you still have. Pictures or anything. And speak out loud something like "I'm releasing myself from this pain" you've got this brother. It worked well for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:24 PM
14

Write the letter. Get it all out. Then go outside and burn it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 06:19 AM
1

Great car with great potential. Well done
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:25 PM
5

Yes! Black on black the girls call it the race car. I named her Midnight to remind me the night gets the darkest just before the dawn. Check out my history there's a cool picture of it after a crazy storm
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:16 PM
6

Bought a BMW M8 and picked up my kids from her house in it to get ice cream
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:13 PM
3

In the rearview mirror
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:52 PM
1

Grey rocking hard. The kids are 8 and almost 6. The older one is already seeing thru her BS. Had I know that she would be blocking me for a family funeral, I never would have been flexible with her the last few months.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 05:21 PM
7

Cleaner to divorce. No legal paperwork an attorney can pick apart. Divorce. See how she treats you during the proceedings. Then decide IF you want her back. My guess is you won't.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 11:08 PM
13

She'll do it again. BUT, if you truly think you can reconcile and come back from this, you do so AFTER the divorce is finalized. Go read my history
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 09:47 PM
5

Read the art of war and then ask yourself the same question. She is no longer your friend. She is your enemy. Treat her accordingly and prepare for battle
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:38 PM
3

Well said my friend. Sounds EXACTLY like my situation. So happy she's gone and I'm living my new life without her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 02:11 AM
8

She's not just talking with her ex. Sorry man. Go grey rock. Record everything. DO NOT move out of the house until you have at least a temporary agreement in place. Did I mention record everything? Women will accuse of false domestic violence to get an upper hand. This is a chess game now. Lawyer up and act accordingly. You're going to find in time she did you a huge favor. God speed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:52 PM
3

Why compete for her love and affection? She's already checked out AND already cheated once that you know of. It time to go brother. See you in the gym
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:24 PM
10

Lots of men have regretted trying to reconcile with a lying cheater. No one has ever regretted moving on from one.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:41 AM
14

Another man around my young daughters. That's been a hard pill to swallow
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:09 PM
3

If she was a SAHM we'd have a bingo!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:16 PM
2

Yes move quickly. The affair fog is real. Get the deal done!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:15 PM
2

I keep reading this statement over and over since you posted it. Powerful words that have helped tremendously. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 11:33 PM
2

I'd first suggest you fight as hard as you can. Seek therapy, Individual and couples. Go on trips, date nights, switch it up and try EVERYTHING. That way, if it's not savable, you can move forward with peace and confidence it was the right decision. 2nd give yourself a good year (if not longer) before you date. Bringing girls home from the bar and dating ate different. Heal up otherwise you might miss out on a good one because you weren't healed. Good luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 05:27 PM
5

This is what hurts the most. I'm very futuristic with my thinking. Had everything laid out and it was all ripped away. THEN, I had the power to get it all back and had to say no because, as you can see, I a fearful of it all being taken away again. Tough couple of years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 10:02 PM
4

Difficult but correct decision
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:58 PM
3

Uh yeah sounds EXACTLY like my scenario
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 08:28 PM
10

Yeah mine was a SAHM and I'm a 1% wage earner. We had the world by the balls and she flushed it for a crusty biker 18 years her senior. Some people just can't have nice things
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:12 PM
1

Let em rip my guy
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:12 PM
6

I wouldn't say anything about finances. You might be shooting yourself in the foot here. Saying you get half of this and I get half of that. Just say "Finances will be split equitably and everyone will be just fine" let your attorney decide who gets how much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 09:37 PM
4

This right here. Glad you added it to the list
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:04 AM
2

It's a trap. Have a ceremony, give a ring, have children even, just don't have a contract between you a woman and the state.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:29 PM
6

Love to hear this!! I have a similar story. You start to realize their negativity was holding you back
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 04:38 PM
6

I changed mine to Gozer. It's a ghost busters reference. Gozer was the destroyer of worlds. My ex is the destroyer of families. Seemed fitting.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:06 AM
1

Put up cameras and if your state allows voice recording without consent make sure you take advantage of that and record all interactions. I kept mine in my breast pocket and it was voice activated. Definitely came in handy. Good luck. DON'T MOVE OUT
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 06:28 PM
1

I have in my decree we cannot introduce significant others to our children unless it's been 6 months of dating and the other parent has met this person. I recommend that for everyone with small children
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 12:53 PM
1

Thanks we're doing ok. Good days and bad days. Summer is tough but school starts soon. Routine is good for all of us. Appreciate you checking in on me
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 01:44 PM
2

No they broke up. She's been trying to come back
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 01:27 PM
1

Still trying to move on. Some days are easier than others
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 01:21 PM
3

Yup. I'm in MN and mine got paid to cheat and leave. Rules need to change.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 09:38 PM
4

An email to my attorney costs $500. This cost me zero. Also, I was hoping (and got) replies of people this happened to. As you can see, other people on this thread experienced an ex coming back after them and were unsuccessful. IF I decide to press forward with the sale of my property, I will be consulting my legal counsel. Right now I'm kicking tires and this post is helping me formulate my decision. I hope that helps answer your question
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 08:13 PM
2

The neighborhood I'm looking at has a pool, playground, access to a semi-private non-motorized lake, and a cart path that goes under the road to a golf course right across the street. All houses were built in the last 10 years and don't require the maintenance that I've been experiencing out here. Different lifestyle
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 05:21 PM
2

I was awarded my business but we never assigned a value. What about that? Can she come back and cause issues with that?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 05:01 PM
2

It's so much work bro. Especially in the summertime when I want to golf and have fun. The privacy, beauty, and freedom is amazing but it comes with a hefty cost. Both financially and with my time.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 04:22 PM
10

Hey man, I’m on almost the same timeline as you. I don’t want to sound like a record on repeat but - hit the gym, find a new hobby, get back out there. Easier said than done. There’s still days I have to peel myself out of bed but I’ve found consistency has pulled me through. I now see my divorce as a total blessing. I have peace and harmony in my home and I get to be 100% dad 50% of the time. The time I don’t have my kids, I can do WHATEVER I want. You’re going to be ok if you can break this cy…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 12:17 PM
-1

r/Divorce and r/DivorceHelp are Perfect places for that
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 01:01 AM
8

Congrats. Want a cookie? This group is called divorce men. Find a different group please. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 06:06 PM
6

All I read was the 1st 2 sentences. Yea you screwed up
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 10:49 AM
2

Wonderful system
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:45 PM
3

What does your decree say?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:40 PM
8

Move across town. Smaller place with more amenities. A pool. A golf course near by. Get a pet. Exercise. Don’t end it. We need you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 07:48 PM
6

I’m so sorry to hear this brother. Hugging you right now my dude
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 07:47 PM
7

Take it from me. I’ve already been married and divorced twice. It’s simply not worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 08:28 PM
3

Bye Felicia!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 02:37 PM
1

This is what’s happening. Her monkey branch broke
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 12:51 AM
1

I was coming here to say this!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:54 PM
4

I put in my decree no introduction to significant others until 6 months of dating and other parent has had a chance to meet them. This has saved me from at least one douche canoe. Probably even more in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 09:05 PM
1

Just divorce and then reconcile if you want to keep her in your life. Best way to protect yourself. Divorce is forever.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:48 PM
1

Revenge is a dish best served cold
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 04:47 PM
3

Anytime she comes over I make her text me very explicit things. I’m covering for that
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 04:15 PM
4

She’s a snake charmer dude. She’ll suck me dry and somehow 5 minutes later have me bricked up and riding it hard. It’s dangerous. Just like heroin
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 04:00 PM
6

Wow I didn’t even think about that
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:52 PM
2

I make $500k a year and after my spousal support is done I’ll pay $1150 for child support. My state has a calculator I highly recommend you find one for your state or use one close to your state. Tell your lawyer to kick rocks! What are you paying them for?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 01:40 PM
8

I have a very unique last name that carries recognition and it’s disappointing to see that she decided to keep it after proving she’s nothing but a lying tramp. BUT, that is the last name of my children and she didn’t want confusion when picking up or doing paperwork which is logical. Don’t worry, it’ll go away when her next supply is dumb enough to marry her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 08:05 PM
6

Block her yesterday
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 11:01 PM
2

KEEP IT QUIET. She will accuse you of DV and then you’re in big trouble. Everything you had pre marriage is your money. Start tracking down old statements or tax returns to prove this. Don’t leave the house until your attorney advises you to do so. Is Indiana a no fault state? Get documentation of the infidelity. Use a PI if necessary. If your state allows, start recording all conversations. I had a voice activated device on me at all times once I found out about the affair. File first. File har…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 04:31 PM
8

Strike first. Strike hard. NO MERCY!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:12 PM
1

A leopard doesn’t change their spots
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 01:57 AM
6

Mine cheated so the decision to end the marriage was “easier”. Still have tough thoughts and miss her immensely. Especially the life we had and the life we were building
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:50 PM
3

I do too man. She broke my heart but she can’t be trusted. How do I know she won’t do it again? She says she misses me but I know she just misses me taking care of her and the cushy life I provided. I struggle daily with this. Glad to know I’m not the only one. We push forward one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:47 PM
13

I wish I could upvote this twice
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:27 AM
3

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:26 AM
1

HIRE AN ATTORNEY YESTERDAY
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 10:35 PM
2

I would highly recommend putting up cameras or if your state allows have a tape recorder running during all interactions
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 05:42 PM
31

DO NOT CONFRONT. Too many stories on these women making up false claims of domestic abuse to gain power and control. Play chess while she’s playing checkers. Take it from someone that’s been there
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 07:52 PM
4

I’m 1.5 years removed from discovering her affair. Still love her. Tried to make it work. It doesn’t. You can love her, just love her from a distance.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 12:21 AM
4

Not stupid OP. We bought our dream house together and she cheated and left a year later. I fought hard and kept the house because it’s such a unique property. I was depressed coming home to an empty house and didn’t want be there. Fast forward 15 months since she moved out, I bought new furniture, painted some rooms, new art, etc. Now, I LOVE being in my castle. What I’m trying to say is change what you’re doing and what you’re seeing and those reminders will disappear. The new path is in front …
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:51 PM
1

I posted this 9 days ago. What update do you need?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 04:46 PM
4

My ex and AP fizzled out a month after she moved out. I found out about the affair and kept it a secret as she was planning her exit. I begged and pleaded for her not to go. I loved her and I didn’t want to see a divorce damage our 2 little girls 6 and 3. She left and was back on my doorstep crying to come back a month later. We discussed reconciliation but I made it clear it would only be after the divorce was finalized. We’ve gotten entangled a few times during and after the finalization but s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 07:23 PM
4

Dude this is terrible advice
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 06:55 PM
6

You’ll never be happy with anyone if you’re not happy with yourself. Happiness comes from within brother. Therapy. Church. Gym. No dating for a little while. That’s my advice. Good luck and enjoy your new lease on life
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 06:34 PM
2

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 01:03 AM
3

Disneyland for my penis! lol maybe I’m being to close minded. Go there and get all the poison out? Is that what you’re saying? Haha
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 03:12 PM
1

Great spot. The north shore is beautiful. I always visit once a year but in the summer is much more enjoyable. There are multiple water falls, great hiking, and watching the gigantic ships come in is something everyone should experience. The lift bridge is only 1 of 2 in the entire world
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 02:15 PM
1

I appreciate that! That’s what’s holding me back. It’s a long ways to go for just a week and I’ve heard this from multiple people that have traveled there. Also, I’m not super excited to do this trip solo. At first, It sounded like a great idea. But the more I think about it that’s a long time to be alone with no wing man or companion.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 06:34 PM
1

This sounds dangerous. I’m in
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 07:02 PM
3

This is the way. She doesn’t love or respect you. She’s just sorry that she got caught. You have to take care of HER son while she goes and bangs other dudes? Time to go buddy
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 05:09 PM
2

Men will sacrifice their happiness for their family. Women will sacrifice their family for their happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:17 PM
1

If he’s in an at fault state and there’s been infidelity it absolutely can matter
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 12:14 PM
3

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 02:09 AM
19

Another SAHM strikes again
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 02:14 AM
2

Yup. My Dads gf’ bastard son just went on social media and denounced all of us. The family who accepted him, supported him, and cared for him, all because of our political beliefs. Lefty’s are loony
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 08:39 PM
1

This is the way. She’s playing checkers. You need to play chess.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 05:58 PM
5

How can she come back and contest or change a judge signed and finalized decree? Am I missing something?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:16 PM
2

I finalized my divorce. She told me that if I went through with it there is a 1000% chance that we’re done for good. 2 weeks after we signed I was in her bed. We’ve gotten entangled a few times since middle may when we finalized. I keep ending it because I catch her lying about stuff. I’ve come to the hard realization that I will never trust her again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 10:40 PM
1

If your state allows recording others without consent, get a voice recorder and have it running at all times when she is around. Consider putting cameras up. Lots of stories of men getting accused of false DV and being forcefully removed from their home. Don’t let that happen to you
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:04 PM
1

Very insightful. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 06:31 PM
1

Can you elaborate more please? I’m recently divorced due to wife’s infidelity but she wants to reconcile and bring the family back together. I’m hesitant and would love to hear your story. You can pm me if you don’t want to share publicly
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:49 PM
2

I’m trying buddy. Easier said than done. She has continued to show that she’s not going to change and that’s making moving on easier but I hate the fact that another man will be around my girls one day. That’s my main motivation on thinking of reconciliation
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:46 PM
2

Best thing I did was put in the decree that they had to stay in current school district. Saved my ass because my ex tried to move an hour away until she read the decree. Do that please!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:37 AM
3

This is probably some of the best advice on Reddit
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:20 PM
20

This is EXACTLY what my ex wife said to me. Then I found out a month later she was cheating
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 07:10 PM
4

I was referring to the beautiful beaches and the amazing food scene. I also feel you can gain a lot of clarity traveling alone. Who said anything about fucking teenagers you sicko
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:33 PM
4

Honestly I commend you for sticking with and making it work after her affair. I tried to do the same thing. But now that you’ve cheated, it’s obvious you two don’t love each other the way you’re supposed to. Love is not a feeling it’s a choice. And both chose others over your family and each other. My vote would be to move on and start fresh. Get into therapy. Stay single. Rebuild YOU and focus on your beautiful children
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:43 PM
6

Go to Thailand for a month
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 09:46 AM
6

Divorce now. It’ll take about 6 months. Then see if she wants to get back together
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 09:43 AM
2

Phone records. Hire a PI
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 12:56 PM
2

I’m already divorced dude. Everything was finalized in June.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 12:32 PM
2

I have been seeing a therapist every 2 weeks for the last year. It’s not helping me let her go
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:33 PM
1

Again, something that I’m struggling with. We have gone back-and-forth on talking about reconciliation, but I don’t think we’ve ever actually really tried. Divorce was finalized in early June and we both went out and immediately started seeing other people and realized that we missed each other and the life that we had. I can confidently say I don’t think I’ve forgiven her and I don’t think I’ve actually given it a really good fair shot
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 04:25 PM
1

This is what keeps drawing me back in. My little girls deserve a shot at a normal life
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 04:20 PM
2

I went thru with the divorce. Got everything finalized. She’s still trying to come back. Read my most recent post. Still going thru it brother but at least now I’m protected financially.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:34 PM
1

Get her out of the house whatever the cost. That’s the win you need to focus on right now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:47 AM
5

This is my biggest fear. I don’t want another man around my little girls
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:39 AM
7

So much of this!!! This needs to be heard over and over by the guys in here contemplating reconciliation. It won’t be better. It will be the same or worse!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:28 PM
2

I’m sorry man. It’s over. Go read my posts. I struggled with the same thing. Love if my life and beautiful family I always dreamed of. But that’s it, it was just a dream. She blew it up and I was forced to move on. Time for you to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 06:04 PM
2

I just want to know 2 things. Who initiated the divorce and was there any infidelity?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 01:01 PM
3

I can’t echo this enough. I’ve been pulled back a few times and the min I don’t do EVERYTHING she wants, the teeth come out and it’s the same BS. There are wonderful sweet women out there. Stick with the new one. Leave the old one in the rear view.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:24 PM
4

Therapy has done wonders for me. When my ex had an affair, and blamed it all on me, I believed her. How stupid. My therapist was able to help me unpack all the trauma and also reveal things about myself I didn’t realize. I’m now 1 year removed from the big break up moment. I’m still in therapy. I went from weekly, to bi weekly, and now we check in once a month. I would highly recommend you try it but commit yourself to at least 4-6 sessions. Then make a decision if it’s right for you
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:28 PM
3

I view it as an investment in my little girls. It keeps me sane knowing (hoping) she’s using the funds to have a safe place to live, a reliable car to drive, and can give these girls everything they need. That’s been working for me
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 08:58 PM
1

She was a SAHM so it’s 60/40 (40 me) until my youngest goes to kindergarten in September of 2025 then it goes to a straight 50/50. I told her it was a non negotiable and I would pile the money up and light it on fire so don’t F with me. She seemed to take the hint and didn’t fight it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 10:47 PM
1

LFG!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 05:47 PM
1

I just checked and my state does not have common law marriage
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 07:32 PM
1

Yes!!!! Love this! Congratulations
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 06:59 PM
2

If they move in, they’ll be signing a lease :)
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 06:58 PM
6

IF I ever go down that path, this is how I would approach it. I’ll give you a ring, we can even have a ceremony, but we will not have a legal contract between each other and the state. Not happening. And if that’s a deal breaker, then I am not the man for you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 04:01 PM
3

Deal!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:24 PM
1

Surprisingly enough, bumble
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 01:27 PM
4

A solid man with 2 daughters trades well in today’s open market. Focus on you and the girls and you’ll be just fine! Feel feee to dm if you need advice. Personal or legal
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 01:26 PM
3

Thanks bud! Keep moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 11:04 PM
6

Hells no!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 11:02 PM
2

Hire a forensic accountant to back trace financial assets and real estate values before the date of marriage. I spent $2k on my account and it exempted close to $500k that she couldn’t touch.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 03:32 PM
3

She always blamed me for the mess but now that I kicked her ass out my house is the cleanest it’s ever been. Shocking!! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 02:00 PM
6

I make my bed every morning and clean the kitchen and pick up every night. There’s something about waking up to a clean organized home and coming home to a crisply made bed that makes me feel good.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 01:53 PM
3

It’s just a house. I don’t fully understand because I threw the bitch out but it’s still just a house. Time to build a new castle. Your own sanctuary. New memories and new life!! I’m 1 year out from separation and 6 months living alone and it’s getting better everyday. Don’t end it. Keep coming here. Keep moving forward. Lots of life left to live!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:31 PM
2

Wheeler Walker Jr. - Fuck you bitch. That should cheer you up and give you a good laugh
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 02:16 PM
3

Yes my screen name and also a play on words with golf
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:25 PM
8

I’m always happy to see your name pop up on my posts. Not only does it make me laugh my ass off, you always shoot me straight with awesome advice. Thank you sir
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:36 PM
1

Miami is a Target rich environment that can take your mind off of just about anything. Puerto Rico is also easy to get to from NYC
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 01:58 PM
4

I 2nd this. Not to be insensitive but WTF?? How did you let this happen dude?!?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 03:54 PM
1

Stick with it. Go one day. Then one week. Before you know it you'll be so much clearer. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 12:22 AM
3

Are you in a no fault state?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 06:31 PM
2

Mine was only 6 years and I'm devastated. I can only imagine what you're feeling. Do not look back and coulda woulda shoulda. Look back and recognize where you could have been better and take action for the future. Dwelling on the past only cuts the wound deeper. One foot in front of the other one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 10:26 PM
5

Proud of you bro. When she came back I was weak. Let her back in for a bit. Then woke up. Wish I could've done what you did. Keep it up!! This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 10:39 PM
1

Yeah.... not with my income and assets bud. If things go south again in a year, and she is awarded lifetime alimony, are you going to pay that bill for me?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 03:44 AM
3

Yeah she will come back so be ready. It's harder than you could ever imagine. Go back and read my posts and see the shit I've been dealing with. Even after all the hurt and betrayal I still have love. Life is a bitch sometimes but we have to play the long game here. And remember, when God wants to make a great man he has to break him into pieces first. Feel free to reach out by dm anytime brother
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:06 PM
6

Me too man. She's trying to come back and I'm forced to say no. I'm still in love with her and would love to have my family back together but I can't trust her. It sucks ass but we have to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:45 PM
1

I was able to get a temporary judgment and get her out of the house. I was able to prove long-term financially she could not stay and afford the house and I could. As soon as she moved out and the support started the clock started as well. This is very important. That way the support payments I am paying account towards my grand total. Make sure you have everything dialed in BEFORE you or she moves out. Do not let emotions drive this decision
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 03:28 PM
0

Exactly what I came here to say. Mine says 6 months and the other parent gets to meet the significant other before the kids do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 10:09 PM
9

UPDATE Hey guys, I wrote this and stepped away. It was too overwhelming emotionally with everything going on. I have decided to press on with the divorce. Should be finalized soon. STBX is still trying for reconciliation. I explained that could only happen AFTER the divorce is finalized and it's still a small chance. I appreciate all the love, advice, and the whacks upside the head. I needed it!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:51 PM
2

As I said in another reply today, I wrote this and stepped away. It was very overwhelming emotionally. You hit the nail with this reply. I'm stuck eating a shit sandwich. A sandwich that was prepared for me and I'm being forced to eat. The divorce is moving forward. Should be finalized soon. The future relationship is still unknown. BUT, I have to protect myself as others have advised. Appreciate you guys!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:47 PM
1

I posted this and kind of stepped away. Was too overwhelmed with emotions at the time. Coming back and reading this now. Awesome response my friend. Just so you know, she's still trying to come back, but the divorce should be finalized soon.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:16 PM
22

I'm glad you're here with us today brother
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 06:25 PM
4

This is where I struggle as well. Those are my children. Any father figure should be their own father
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:40 PM
3

When God wants to make a great man, he has to break him into pieces first. I believe this statement whole heartedly because I've been that broken man. Still kind of am. We push forward for our children. They are all that matters at this point. Good luck OP and godspeed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 01:42 AM
6

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:28 AM
6

Preach brother preach!!! This is EXACTLY what I'm going thru
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:24 PM
1

Came here to write the same thing. Bravo OP
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 01:35 AM
5

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:37 PM
2

This is EXTREMELY important
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:47 PM
7

I've heard too many stories of confronting and then STBX files false claims. I waited until my STBX moved out before letting her know I knew. Be smart. Loose lips sink ships. As much as it hurts, keep it quiet (for now)
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 07:19 PM
4

Your story sounds EXACTLY like mine! Her AP dumped her 3 weeks after she moved out and now I'm the asshole for divorcing her! It's almost laughable
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:14 PM
3

Go! Live your life! I have a Miami south beach trip similar to your trip. For top performers. I've qualified 2 out of last 4 years. I'm going through a divorce and was always on this trip with my STBX. I just qualified for my 3rd time. I'm rolling solo and am planning on having a good time. Way better than sitting around feeling down. BOOK THE TRIP. You deserve it!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:25 PM
1

Find a popular concert in your area and post his number and say whoever tells me the best joke gets my 2 tickets for free. He'll have to change his number.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:29 PM
2

Seriously. I only read half the post and agree with you 100%
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 01:00 AM
1

My STBX was very religious. Bible studies every week. Church every Sunday. Met with a spiritual mentor every week. Introduced me to Jesus. We dedicated our children to Christ on Mother's day, and she was committing adultery a few weeks later.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:09 AM
8

Caught my wife in an affair. Didn't tell her I knew. Tried so hard to keep her from leaving. Begged her not to leave. She still left. 3 weeks after moving out she showed up at my house crying and wanting to come back. Either dude dumped her or she realized what a mistake she made. Too late. The show goes on. We've been talking and there may be reconciliation in the future, but we won't be husband and wife. Stay strong. It won't last and they always come back. It's up to you on how you want to ha…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:13 AM
1

Key man discount can be 70-90%. Be smart here. There is no business without you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 01:10 AM
12

For me it was when she had an affair. That pretty much did it for me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 05:17 PM
3

I've been in individual counseling for the last 5-6 months when I found out my STBX was having an affair. My therapist is Christian based (which is important to me. Might not be to others) and was really able to pull me out of the darkness. I would highly recommend if you do decide to try, don't do 1 session. Do 4 weeks in a row and then evaluate.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:56 PM
0

That's what I've suggested. She said she can't do both.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:31 AM
2

MN. Attorney said that's when the scales start to tip.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:28 AM
4

MN
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:27 AM
11

Not trolling. Reaching out for advice. I'm broken and I HATE being away from my girls and i HATE the idea of another man being in the picture. I need tough love because as you can see I'm a pushover when it comes to this woman. She has full control over me. This was good for me to see the overwhelming amount of no's and also the fuck no's. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 12:22 AM
16

My stbxw affair started in early June. She left me for AP. Moved out end of October. That relationship just ended and now she's trying to come back to me. Found out I started dating and realized what a mistake she made. Stay strong and move on. It will help you and break her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:33 PM
13

I agree you keep it quiet. You're playing chess not checkers. I kept quiet while I gathered evidence and was able to get her out of my house. So many stories about guys confronting the cheating wife and get falsely accused of domestic violence. All these women have to do is break a vase and say you threw it and off to jail you go. Be smart. Stay quiet. And then crush that cheating wench in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:20 PM
5

PM sent. We got you!
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 10:00 PM
1

I felt the same way. My wife left and a beautiful sweet woman fell into my lap a few months later. Who knows where it will go but it's nice to feel wanted. It'll happen for you too brother. Just focus on making yourself a better version and improve where you can. It will find you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:07 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 02:58 AM
2

Yes. A few weeks ago
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:25 PM
2

I filed a few weeks ago but we are not separated. Co habitation and mediation is scheduled in a few weeks
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:17 AM
1

Did I do the right thing by keeping it quiet? I'm regretting now not confronting her right away
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:50 PM
1

That's good advice. I feel like I've been getting bread crumbs while cooking her a feast. She's been controlling me all this time and I never saw it. She still has control over me!! Even after doing the worst possible thing that anyone could ever do. Thanks for this! Do you have a link to the YouTube video?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 01:13 AM
3

Dude I already ordered the 1st one! I'm pretty confident she had undiagnosed and untreated BPD
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:42 AM
1

I hear ya. It's hard because I really thought she was my person. I'm 41 so a bit past my 30's but very high on the success in the workforce scale. I just don't want to start over when I already thought I had everything I ever wanted. I for some reason am also doubting myself that anyone would want to be with a 41yo divorced single dad of 2 girls. Maybe I'm just being stupid
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:39 AM
3

I'm just in the beginning process of a divorce with my stbx that has BPD. Any advice?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:29 AM
2

THIS! I like the sound of this
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 07:03 PM
1

Yeah he's an exbf from 10 years ago. They had an extremely volatile relationship so yeah let's leave your stable hard working husband and your kids for that!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:13 PM
6

That's what everyone keeps telling me. She's the one that's losing! She's downgrading her entire life. Disgusting the pain she's caused me and the pain she's going to cause our children. Thanks for the words of encouragement and affirmation
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:35 PM
3

Nice!!! Thats what Im talking about! Love the positivity. What kind of car did you get? I've got my eye on a Mercedes AMG GT-S. 511hp twin turbo
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 02:06 AM
1

Affair Partner
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 01:20 AM
5

How did you handle that? Is she still with AP?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:11 AM
10

I'm fucking STUPID. I'm fighting more for my girls than her. I don't want them around him and I don't want to only see them half the time. But yes, I'm STUPID for even thinking it
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:06 AM
10

Seriously. She was a SAHM while I busted my ass 50-60 hours a week to provide for the family. This is how she repays me?!?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:06 PM
11

It's actually a perfect analogy. I don't want my life looking like that!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 09:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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