Headed back to Mediation after divorce finalized 2 years ago

hotantipasta · 2026-05-13T18:34:53+00:00

Are ROFR and introducing kids to a new SO really a hill you want to die on? Those provisions are rarely enforced.

Shineynewflipflops · 2026-05-13T17:55:04+00:00

It’s pretty stupid to put that language in a decree. Rarely enforceable. My ex always used to let me know anytime she and her latest fling were doing anything with the kids. I always felt it was more her trying to get under my skin than anything.

I always told her she is responsible for the safety and well-being of the kids when she has them.

FUMoney · 2026-05-13T16:32:30+00:00

ROFR and introducing significant others before 6 months and an introduction to me as we have outlined and agreed to.

This sounds like a total and complete waste of time. Having to “introduce” an ex’s new partner sounds like a stupid and terrible divorce “provision.”

This is your ex. Her partners = none of your business.

ProofConnect6521 · 2026-05-13T15:50:13+00:00

You’re wasting your time and effort

Reflog1791 · 2026-05-13T15:26:30+00:00

Sounds like the kids still made it to the funeral and your ex is common. Wouldn’t waste my time and money on mediation over this stuff.

When my ex used to jack up my plans I would say “ok I will be taking the kid to my folks’ 4th of July weekend this year.”

She stopped jacking up my plans when I immediately replaced them with better more convenient plans.

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-05-13T15:23:08+00:00

I don’t understand when people agree to limitations on their future relationships.

I’m getting divorced so I stop feeling controlled by my wife.

Your other issues I would agree are problems.

But, they also sound like they can be tough to prove.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-05-13T15:13:37+00:00

My advice let all of that slide. You can't control what your ex does in her world and trying to control her will only keep you resentful, bitter, and unhappy in your life.

Stick to parallel parenting and you and your kid's lives will improve drastically.

leaving4me · 2026-05-13T14:54:38+00:00

You would need to consult an attorney, but if the decree is final then you would be looking for contempt. Chances are if she is not following the decree now she won't start without some type of court intervention which will not happen unless you file a motion. As an editorial, why people attempt to dictate how their ex handles new relationships will forever be a mystery. Get over it. It's not yours or her place to give approval on who you date. The court won't even do that unless you can prove child abuse.

TheSteveSteward · 2026-05-13T13:58:38+00:00

I have had to go back to mediation. Totally agree with others, if you have a contempt case that’s what you should do. Ask a lawyer.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-05-13T13:45:19+00:00

If you can file anything for contempt, start there and then mediate. If that approach is not available, start with the blocking for the funeral - it’s shameful and will immediately get the mediator on your side and her on the defensive. Don’t know what ROFR means

digcycle · 2026-05-13T12:36:40+00:00

Can you add a request in your plan for kids to be offered video call whenever they request? What term would help you get kids faster when you are attending a family funeral? That sounds like a swap negotiation. Are those stipulations on how swaps or emergency or bereavement schedule changes clear? Figure out how these all tie into your existing parenting plan, how she violated those, and what new terms you would want to add that reduce this conflict in future. Use chat bot to help draft some ideas that you can bring to meditation for consideration. You can do post decree modifications to your plan as long as you both agree and put it in writing. Further, you can do an annual review of your plan and see what works or needs to be changed if you have that level of collaboration. I haven’t been post divorce conflict yet but just spit firing. Be ready with solutions or improvements to these issues rather than complain about potential vague parenting plan terms that allow her to sustain conflict. Good luck!

One-Specialist-4983 · 2026-05-13T12:25:53+00:00

Wha is mediation going to do? If you want to force what is in your decree you need to go back to court and file a violation.

Livid_Cabinet_9197 · 2026-05-13T12:25:10+00:00

I have not had to yet, but I’m certain I will. After the injunction she falsely filed against me is dissolved… and I can speak to my kids again…

cdjohnny · 2026-05-13T12:25:04+00:00

If it is a violation of something documented in the divorce decree file a show cause. They have to explain to the judge why they are violating a court order. Otherwise you can always file a complaint with the FoC and they will investigate, although not sure how good they are.

Title	Headed back to Mediation after divorce finalized 2 years ago
Author	Par_then_Bar
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	May 13, 2026 12:19 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tbxyvr/headed_back_to_mediation_after_divorce_finalized/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/headed-back-to-mediation-after-divorce-finalized-2.1580314 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580314

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