| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Just exhausted | Rant | TimeCycle3000 | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 04:34 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Did your ex ever try to manipulate you after the relationship?As a manipulative person for two decades in the marriage, I expect her to be the same after. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 10:53 PM |
| 4 | Those of you who initiated a divorce, how did your wife take it?Ha!! Sounds like mine. She claimed she was blindsided. I said you’ve threatened divorce for years. She said “but I never meant it!” Boo-fucking-hoo. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 06:15 AM |
| 6 | Ex Wanting IntimacyI got baby trapped before when trying to divorce. So I got a vasectomy to prevent it from happening again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/26 10:15 AM |
| 2 | Told my wife..When I told mine, she said “that’s ridiculous!” She wants to stay together. She doesn’t understand I have lost all love for her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 07:54 PM |
| 5 | Total payout during divorceThat’s the part I’m really interested in. She spends so much of my money every month. To have set limit on her, vs the surprise credit card statement each month, will be so great. And I say my money cause she doesn’t work and has referred to things as hers. So if you want it that way, then fine. I’ll claim credit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 07:33 PM |
| 1 | My attraction to my wife has gone away almost completely.A wife who works: what’s that? lol The financial impact of divorce will be terrible but I KNOW I’ll be happier after. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 11:06 PM |
| 4 | My attraction to my wife has gone away almost completely.I was thinking about it today. Feeling BAD FOR HER for her future. Wondering how long it would take her to find someone. If she would. But that’s not my problem. She’s got so many issues. Makes them my issues. Doesn’t like I don’t allow her to manipulate me anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 11:04 PM |
| 26 | My attraction to my wife has gone away almost completely.My wife has a similar body type. I’m a fit , conventionally attractive 41yo man. A wife is pretty, but objectively she’s fat. That said, she’s never told me I’m sexy (I tell her she is). Typically I only hear criticisms. I’ve lost attraction to my wife because of how she treats me; I’d have stayed attracted to her if it wasn’t for that. I’m at the point now, though, where I’m just repulsed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 10:38 PM |
| 1 | Trying to understand why some divorces feel sudden to one spouseI really do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 08:25 PM |
| 3 | Trying to understand why some divorces feel sudden to one spouseI’m also the one who has initiated (still in it) and she claimed to be blindsided. Your fact pattern resembles mine, even down to developing this aversion to even wanting to have sex with her. That part has actually surprised me given how much of the dead bedroom past was me pursuing her. She has spent most of the last 17+ years of tearing me down. I understand it to be projection, but it still hurts. I wonder if mine will come to regret her behavior in the future. I really don’t think she will.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 05:57 PM |
| 7 | She keeps lying about me…When you divorce your wife, you divorce her family. I expect my in laws to treat me like absolute shit in the near future when they found out. Cost of doing business, I guess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/26 02:42 PM |
| 8 | New Relationship RuinedTo your ex: “I don’t care about your social media” - done. Also. Sorry as you liked this woman but if they were defending themselves to you about social media of all things then I don’t think the maturity level was high. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 02:01 PM |
| 2 | Time for divorce?Exactly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/26 02:17 PM |
| 3 | Time for divorce?I make good money. Mine is a SAHM and has been since before we had kids. I should have seen that then. Nevertheless. 4 kids later… Mine likes to say “if I got paid for my job is make more money than you” - ummmm. Okay. Well the other moms we know all work….sooooooo Mine really just likes to bitch. Used to tell me I didn’t make enough. Then when I did, she complained I work too much. Next week I have a work dinner. She’s not happy. Not like spending time with her is a good time, anyway. I’m fed u… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/26 01:50 AM |
| 1 | Headed back to Mediation after divorce finalized 2 years agoI don’t understand when people agree to limitations on their future relationships. I’m getting divorced so I stop feeling controlled by my wife. Your other issues I would agree are problems. But, they also sound like they can be tough to prove. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Love lost but now expectingIn my case I said I was divorcing her, then decided to have sex (she initiated, and sex was a dozen year issue of her rejecting me) and ended up conceiving. With the 4th kid. I tried to make it work. But it can’t. So the marriage is ending. That’s that. She’s highly emotionally abusive and has been just incredibly cruel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/26 07:36 PM |
| 2 | Looking for tips to guard myself betterPersonally I’m a bit hypertensive to the red flags, in my case my wife is a person with borderline personality disorder and is incredibly manipulative. I won’t be fooled again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 10:58 PM |
| 3 | Looking for tips to guard myself betterThe yacht sounds like something my wife would say then claim it “landed poorly” after I said that’s ridiculous. In any case. She did you a favor. Any time someone says the kid could be a dealbreaker I think they are a no go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 08:39 PM |
| 12 | Wife now Empowered, my basic contribution framed as controlVictimization. This truly is my least favorite trait. Can’t wait to be done with seeing it on a daily basis. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 11:29 AM |
| 1 | Budgeting for life after the split is a massive wake-up callThis was my biggest motivator for staying together. She doesn’t work, and has been a SAHM since before we have kids. She has an MBA. Just lazy. I can’t stay anymore. I’ll lose my mind and much worse!!! I’ll just…figure it out. No choice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 05:31 PM |
| 8 | Still feel like shit that I had to do thisMine had grabbed me aggressively one time. I said “get your fucking hands off my fucking arm” and she about broke down in tears - she understood the seriousness. That was her only warning. Next time, I will call the police. And yes, she left a mark. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/26 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Trying to hold it togetherVery familiar with this. Her manipulation just emphasizes for me the smart move I’m making divorcing her. And echoes that I should have done this multiple kids ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 05:04 PM |
| 2 | Trying to hold it togetherFrom how you wrote this, she sounds manipulative and like she tends to get her way. It’s your house, too. Don’t allow her to dictate your actions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 01:54 PM |
| 2 | Newly wed now soon to divorceThat’s how I feel as well. Mine also loves to speak in grandiose terms about how empathetic she is…but never wants to see things from my side. I feel I’m the one who has more empathy! | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 12:04 PM |
| 2 | Calculations…Yup. That’s about my estimates, too. Sucks!! But it will be worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 03:17 AM |
| 3 | Financial InfidelityA few months ago I was checking our accounts (all is shared) and noticed 15k extra in my checking. I saw it said it was a cash advance and I found the card it was linked to. She never told me about this. I ended up discovering it 2 days later, just in my normal perusal of my net worth progress. I only said one thing to her: when is it due? She volunteered “I thought we could use the extra money.” Before getting on Reddit tonight I was just looking at my debt. So stressful. I make good money and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 03:11 AM |
| 3 | Fight Spending Sprees with Spending Sprees?Mine just buys and buys and buys. This is an issue in our marriage. I’ve started to do similar. I’m buying things I want in my own place, so that instead of me paying for it 100% she’s also paying for it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 08:25 PM |
| 9 | Newly wed now soon to divorceSorry to hear. I’m also on the spectrum. It’s made things harder, for sure. But mostly harder because she is uncompromising. I tend to be amiable and she is not. I give and she doesn’t. You’ll find your person. Just as I’ll find mine. At least you don’t have kids. I’m 17 years in and 4 kids. Makes it so much harder! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 05:10 PM |
| 2 | When did you stop therapy?I’ve stopped therapy multiple times over the years, when it felt right. I’m back in it cause I’m getting divorced. At some point I’ll feel good and will end therapy once more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 06:29 AM |
| 1 | The people who have hurt me most in life have been womenTbh that’s where I’m headed. I’m bi but I’m tired of how I’ve been treated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/26 11:02 PM |
| 2 | Divorced man claiming I was narcissisticThat’s right !! Before I got with my wife I had hobbies, like painting. I recall a couple years back when I was wanting to get back into my hobbies, I mentioned I’d like to paint again. “You don’t have time for that.” Three weeks later she bought paints, canvas and brushes for herself. Shaking my head… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 03:46 AM |
| 3 | Got notice 2 days agoShe will make you the problem no matter what. IMHO going to SAA because you hired hookers while in a dead bedroom doesn’t make you a sex addict. If it was multiple times a day with multiple hookers, sure. I hope you don’t convince yourself you’re the guy she’s goin to make you out to be. Honestly, the problem in my marriage is manipulation. My wife wants to win no matter the cost. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 03:41 AM |
| 3 | Am I making the right decisionYou’re saying she supports and loves you, but then you say you changed and abandoned who you are to avoid conflict. Have you done that? If so, let me ask this: does she love who she’s made you become? Or, rather, have you become someone she could love? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 02:10 AM |
| 2 | Ex wife picsI’m in the process of divorcing. For years, she’s only worn yoga pants. At first it was cool, then it was basically just looking like a bum. Stains and shit. Now I can’t stand yoga pants - just make me think of lazy unkempt women! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 11:27 AM |
| 3 | Wife doesn’t respect me or my feelingsI don’t regret having my kids (4 of them!). I do wish, though, that when she started treating me like shit I left. That was before we had kids and the reason I stayed was for the dogs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 11:22 AM |
| 3 | Advice on how to end it?Honestly just tell her it’s over. When I told my wife she kept interrupting me, as though not allowing me to say it didn’t make it true. Finally, after I was able to say it she said “I don’t accept!” Well. That don’t matter, honey. I’m done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 12:48 AM |
| 1 | Asking for divorce!I told my wife I’m divorcing her. Same reasons. She said “I don’t accept” And has tried to get me to change my mind. I can’t. For my own mental health I cannot stay married to her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Help figuring out what she meantThat was my take as well. He just went there so he wouldn’t be wfh that day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 05:29 PM |
| 3 | Help figuring out what she meantAs others have said, she plans to have sex with someone else on this work trip. Someone else said to document you don’t consent to this arrangement, but I’m not sure what that accomplishes. Infidelity doesn’t carry the same weight it used to. You don’t have kids and you don’t have a mortgage. The dissolution of the marriage is unfortunate but in her head she was already going here. She made up her mind before you said anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 05:26 PM |
| 1 | How do you know when it's time?Middle school to toddler. Had a nice assembly line going. Haha | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 08:55 PM |
| 1 | How do you know when it's time?I’m at that point. 4 kids. She doesn’t get to just get the house nor get the kids. Fight for your rights. I don’t care what she says. My wife has screamed at me in front of my kids, too. “I don’t care if the kids hear me scream!” She’s screamed at me in front of them. She’s insufferable. And for my own mental heath, I’m divorcing her. I also have my own therapist and this is critical to not lose my mind, or worse. She’s been unbearably cruel to me before. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Just a tidbit of my s**tGood for you!! My wife is also overweight. Claims diet and exercise don’t work (one would need to try…). Whereas I’m a fit guy in my 40s and Im conventionally attractive. Something that has genuinely bothered me our entire relationship is that she doesn’t tell me I’m hot, or really anything to make me feel attractive. It’s why I like going out by myself. I get hit on and it feels great. I’m looking forward to the next steps for me. The best part will be when I’m not constantly judged and told I’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 02:39 AM |
| 8 | For those of you that had wives with dissimilar values, interests, hobbies, etc; was that of the utmost importance in your next relationship?In our marriage, I lost all my hobbies. She told me I didn’t have time for them. Or she was mad about them. Painting, poetry, computer games. Last year or so I told her I wanted to get back into painting. “You don’t have time for that” and then the following month she bought herself a bunch of paints… I’m really looking forward to reclaiming me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 12:11 AM |
| 3 | Just a tidbit of my s**tMy wife always has an excuse for her antics. When we first got together she said she thought it was ridiculous for women to blame hormones. Now: She blames hormones most of the time, while also making sure it’s in response to me. Someone mentioned potentially bpd. That’s my wife. Funny enough she told me a couple years ago it was bpd and this week claimed I made it up. It’s…exhausting. She told me this week she wants us to try couples therapy again. I told her no. Cause we tried that three years… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/26 03:36 AM |
| 1 | Wife just filed the divorce, debt at $6k, wife and kid going to a different countryAs everyone else said, you’re the dad. She doesn’t get to dictate terms. I have a buddy who is contemplating divorce. He told me his wife said he could have the kids on weekends only. And he believed her. I told him this isn’t true. Fight for 50/50. AND don’t just do what wants you to do. I believe that for many of us that’s what our marriages have been. Wives telling us what to do. And over time we get conditioned into believing it’s true. It’s not. Be your own man. Fight for what you want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 12:16 AM |
| 3 | Couples therapy has been enlighteningStay strong. My youngest is a year old. I just can’t wait another 17 years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 02:55 PM |
| 1 | Quick question-still early in processI’m early in, and I feel all the emotions all the time I swear. In my case I’m the initiator. Generally, I feel relief. But there is certainly other emotions, too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 02:54 PM |
| 2 | Just started separation, unknown futureI’m proud of you for being aware. My wife says she gets “passionate” but that’s no excuse for the yelling / screaming at me in front of the kids and the cruel things she’s said. I do, however, believe she doesn’t fully realize what she’s said. I swear it’s like she breaks with reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Just started separation, unknown futureFrom what you’ve said, it sounds like my marriage except my wife is like you. I’ll be honest: I told her I’m divorcing her because I have nothing left to give. We have 4 kids. But I can’t deal with the emotions and volatility from her anymore. I obviously will have to always talk to her because of our kids but I’d really rather never speak to her again. Years of being treated poorly has been terrible for my mental health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 11:42 PM |
| 4 | Couples therapy has been enlighteningDude I’m so happy to be divorcing her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 10:41 PM |
| 6 | Couples therapy has been enlighteningHAHAHA. EXACTLY. I’m wfh today and she’s a SAHM. I just put an empty glass in the sink. I thought about checking if the dishwasher was empty/dirty, and opted to not. Then I imagined her saying she doesn’t know why she has to put in the sink and in my my mind I thought “I don’t know why you’re the only mom in the neighborhood who doesn’t work part time.” Clearly, my resentment is building. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 04:37 PM |
| 10 | Couples therapy has been enlighteningYour marriage and mine sound very similar. I avoid the confrontation. I’m working with my therapist on that. My wife CLAIMS to be a perfectionist, but honestly she half-asses and poorly executes everything she does. Whereas I will approach with diligence so I succeed (she views it as slow or “inefficient”). Recently, my wife told me this. I pulled from my notes: “all the therapists and all the life coaches tell me I am the only person who cares” - I asked if she was referring to caring about her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 03:14 PM |
| 2 | Guidance from experienced menHello. In my case, I’m at the start of my divorce journey, but also, this is a long time coming. My wife has been intensely emotionally abusive over the years. Just cruel. And when I would call her out on it, she always said I was “making it up” or that I “misunderstood” her. I get that, in a way, cause to hear it be said it is quite horrifying. But she worked me down, man. Over the years I reduced who I was because I didn’t want to upset her. She even told me “your feelings don’t matter; only m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 05:51 AM |
| 1 | Everyone recommends therapy but how many of you actually took therapy and saw some results? Please share good or bad results too!I’m in it and I started therapy so I wouldn’t lose my mind during the divorce process. Really happy I have my therapist. See him weekly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 02:47 AM |
| 2 | Relationship with in lawsMy expectation is my in laws will gladly never talk to me again, even though my wife jokes they like me more than her. So far she and I are keeping this to ourselves. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 08:45 PM |
| 13 | How many ex’s tried to come back?Well in my case my wife did. We hadn’t actually divorced. I told her I’m divorcing her and later she seduced me, and having been in a dead bedroom I didn’t keep it in my pants. Ended up with #4. So I took her back. That was two years ago. Now I’m divorcing her for real this time but I got a vasectomy. She actually said to me last month “well I can’t get pregnant this time.” So…feels like it was intentional. That was really the ONLY way to keep me. It worked for a while! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Accepting you're done with for lifeIt sure is. I’m working on acceptance in therapy. Trying to be nice so hopefully she doesn’t just spin out. But I don’t know. Her own therapist said she has borderline personality disorder. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 09:56 PM |
| 1 | How do you cope with ruining your marriagePretty sure it’s not just you. I’d love to blame my soon to be ex wife for all the problems. She’s been incredibly cruel for so many years. But I also know I had a part to play. Ultimately, we’re just incompatible. That’s it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Accepting you're done with for lifeMy therapist and I have been talking about my conflict avoidance. I totally see it. In my case, I initiated because I can’t do this anymore. I can’t constantly be on edge. I can’t constantly wonder if she’s genuine or putting it on (news flash: she’s so disregulated I bet she doesn’t even know the difference). I want my kids to see two happy parents. I’ve had family who wished their parents got divorced instead of stayed together miserably until they died. I’m divorcing for me, and for my family… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 04:14 PM |
| 3 | CollegeI’m all for the arts but there is no way this is a smart idea. Also pissed at the even being a college that would cost this much for such a degree. Days before I turned 41, this year, I FINALLY paid off my loans. Undergrad and grad. Most of my career in government then transitioned to consulting. Dude. I HATE that I had loans into my 40s. She would be 90 before paying them off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 12:27 AM |
| 1 | How to move forward?Man I hear you. 17 years for me. 4 kids from 11 to 1. And she just finally pushed my buttons too much. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 07:52 PM |
| 1 | How to move forward?Dude the last paragraph about sums it up, except my kids are in public school. She’s made all these conscious decisions and has thrown away so many people over the years. I remember vividly how she would complain about my family when we lived near them, to the point she hated them, and she over started to like them after we moved. I met with my therapist this morning. More examples this week of the same behavior from her. The change for me from ask these years is I’m now indifferent. And I’ve to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 03:23 PM |
| 1 | How to move forward?Wow man. This is A LOT!! You’ve dealt with a lot. In my case, with all the screaming and denigrating and vitriol she has yet to make false claims about my behavior, though I wouldn’t put it past her. When I started in therapy, my therapist immediately validated all my concerns. Just by not telling me I was making it all up. He listened and empathized. Well, that day and lasting for about a week I had a derealization episode. I thought I was losing my damned mind. I was texting my therapist and h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 04:20 AM |
| 6 | How can we fix the mess we're in now?Hi. A lot of this was relatable for me (I’m the husband initiating). And with my wife, her anxious approach and unwillingness to listen just made me fall out of love. Every time I would try and reason with her, her anxiety manifested as the problem was me. Every. Single. Time. So I became avoidant, not wanting to cause problems. I’m done. 17 years. I can’t anymore. In fact last night she even mentioned that she knows she makes things worse by trying to over explain her perspective, which actuall… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 03:46 PM |
| 2 | How to move forward?My wife has been incredibly emotionally abusive - I understand what you mean by the things you don’t say and she said it anyway. For me, the reason I’m going through with this divorce is I can’t take it anymore. I feel that staying with her through all that has enabled her to act this way. There will always be a part of me that will wish it could’ve worked out. Honestly, though, I hope she finds happiness with someone else. I really do. And I’m going to find happiness, too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 05:46 PM |
| 2 | 20 Years, 5 Kids, Jewish Orthodox . At What Point Is Divorce Actually the Right Call?Abuse is not okay. She’s escalated into physical abuse. My wife has only been physical one time with me and I called her out on it. She was HORRIFIED. For me, it’s the intensity at which my wife hates and resents me that is leading to my divorce. One of the commenters asked you to think about 40 years of this. I’m choosing to end after 17 years together because I want to have a chance to be with someone who makes me happy and is also happy to be with me. I want a chance at happiness. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 03:32 PM |
| 9 | Ex wife's' current Boyfriend called me to ask about "My Side of the Story"He’s asking which means he already knew the answer. You did the right thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Getting Divorced With Pregnant WifeHi. I have only a moment. I got baby trapped with #4, after I asked for a divorce (yup, couldn’t keep it in my pants). That was two years ago. Back to divorce convo, though this time I’ve had a vasectomy. My wife has borderline personality disorder. Diagnosed two years ago. Lots of treating me like shit and very good at manipulating me. Her parents are also wealthy and well I’m not. I understand where you’re coming from. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 01:39 AM |
| 2 | Hesitation to FileI’m talking about this in therapy. My wife is emotionally abusive and has been for years. I told her I’m done. But I’m hesitant to take it to the next level. Talk about filling. It’s a big change. That’s why I’m avoidant. Realized in therapy I have never broken up with someone!! Something I know: my wife is NOT different. She pretends to be but isn’t. I know the real her. I said I wanted a divorce two years ago (after years of her threatening). She admitted she “never meant it “ and also she sai… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 01:17 AM |
| 4 | Rejection After Divorce Hits DifferentMan. I’m sorry. I was really hoping this story would end differently. Keep at it. I like that you’re going for organic approaches instead of the apps now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 12:43 AM |
| 1 | Contemplating Divorce, but not sure it's even feasible.My parents didn’t pay for my college. I paid my student loans off just before I turned 41. I had a BA and two masters. I never felt mad at my parents for not paying for it - reality is reality. Just don’t promise to pay their loans and not do it. That part stung. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 03:36 AM |
| 5 | Was the divorce your fault?It’s interesting to me to hear you admit to the abuse. If my wife were ever to be accountable for her actions then I wouldn’t be divorcing her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 08:32 PM |
| 1 | What to ExpectI’m shaking my head. Good luck to you, too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 03:28 PM |
| 2 | What to ExpectI have 4 kids and wife is SAHM. I’m trying to be nice - it’s been 3 weeks since I told her I want a divorce. I’m not pushing it more but will after a couple family events in the next two weeks. I’m trying to be nice because her family has money and I want to avoid lawyers at all costs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing clingy wifeI understand this. It’s not my main reason, but certainly a supporting reason and clingy is actually controlling. I go to get gas. Calls and asks why I’m taking so long. I say I want to watch TV alone gets mad. I already told her I’m divorcing her. Early stages. Light at the end of the tunnel. Hardest part was telling her I’m divorcing her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 02:33 PM |
| 4 | Do you get Mother's Day gifts for your ex? "From the kids"I’m at the front end of my divorce. My plan is to. I don’t know if she would do the same for me, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll still do it. (That said. I do hate the constant gift giving days in the calendar and feeling that gifts must be given) | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 01:14 AM |
| 5 | We had our therapy intake session todayYup. Couple years ago my wife and I went. She couldn’t deal with me stating VERY basic things, so she hyperventilated and vomited. That was the only session. Couple months later she said I “tricked” the therapist into believing me. Now, we’re going through divorce. She’s brought up wanting to see someone together. I imagine she thinks I’ll be convinced to not divorce. NOPE. I’m fucking done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 12:42 AM |
| 1 | Addicted to the Surrender.I don’t find this to be problematic. I was sheltered. Got with my wife when I was 23 and I’d only - BARELY - been with one other woman besides her. I realize now, in my 40s, that I’m an attractive guy and I get A LOT of looks. Average height but fit body and conventionally attractive. After I’m divorced I plan to have LOTS of casual sex. I got a vasectomy so no concerns on that end, but I’ll still have to be safe for STIs. I can separate the emotions from pleasure with sex. So this makes sense t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 11:38 PM |
| 3 | Thimk I'm going to treat myself to the a movie.I went to see project Hail Mary by myself the other night. There were three other middle aged men watching it with me in the entire theatre. LOL | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 01:12 AM |
| 2 | Taking half the joint account and runningOften times, I see opportunities with new financial institutions to open checking and savings with direct deposit and then you get like $600 or $900. Can you use that approach, so she buys into the idea? Maybe via text so you have a record (screenshot). | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 09:34 PM |
| 1 | How to choose a divorce attorney in Georgia when you have no idea where to startInterested in your replies as I’m also in Georgia. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 04:56 PM |
| 3 | I think I get it: she will never admit it.I hear you!! I do feel bad seeing her in pain. But she’s never felt bad about seeing me in pain. When I’ve been unwell it’s been an inconvenience to her. What drove me to finally telling her I was done is she was laying down not feeling well. I asked her what was going on. And she just started yelling at me. I told her twice she was yelling at me and she continued to do - for an hour. She admits to all of this. And so the next day I told her I can’t anymore. She tried saying she’s “passionate” a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 07:10 PM |
| 3 | I think I get it: she will never admit it.It really is. I have certainly kept my therapist busy. I didn’t realize the scale of what has happened to me until I started to receive validation in therapy and ended up having a derealization episode. Therapist explained it’s totally normal and a response to severe trauma. That put it into words for me: being married to her has given me PTSD. I’ve never shared the above with her. Can’t imagine how she would use it against me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 06:05 PM |
| 6 | I think I get it: she will never admit it.I agree with you. For her, it really is the only reality. A world where she needs to be accountable just doesn’t exist. I’m selfish. Blah blah blah. I think over time I’ve become what she says I am. I just got tired of trying to hold everything together while being constantly insulted. She’s told me in the past “your feelings don’t matter! Only my feelings matter!!” And I think that about sums it all up. I’m terrified, of course, of being divorced and having the impacts to my finances and the im… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 04:46 PM |
| 1 | My brother cheated on his wifeMy thoughts exactly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 01:20 PM |
| 0 | What kind of women usually date autistic men?High functioning guy here. Preparing to divorce. Turns out she’s a person with borderline personality disorder and that’s quite difficult for anyone, much less guys like us. I look forward to riding solo for a long time so I can just be myself free of judgement. | /r/MensRights | 06/04/26 03:45 PM |
| 5 | How often do you talk to your adult sons?Keep initiating. I know in my 20s and 30s I kept my distance. I wish I didn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/26 01:51 PM |
| 1 | AdviceI’m satisfied FOR you (also I’m annoyed at my STBX so the comments from your 6yo were GREAT). | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 02:39 PM |
| 5 | Ex wife want to move on with another guyIt doesn’t sound manipulative to me. Sounds like both of you are having trouble moving on. Some people can be best friends and be divorced. I’m not one of them. If my STBX were to have a flat tire of course I’ll go help her. But we’re not going to braid each other’s hair and talk about who we went on dates with. What I’m most looking forward to is not having another adult in my business. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Divorce while still loving each otherI can understand this a bit. I’m a bi male. My wife isn’t supportive of my sexuality. I feel my divorce is agnostic of my sexuality as it’s really about how we don’t get along and she generally resents me for things. Yells at me a lot. Shakes her head at me in front of the kids, or actually says negative things to me in front of the kids. I just need peace. So, I’m the one initiating divorce. Been together 17 years. After divorce I plan to date men. There’s a big part of me that is angry my marr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Pushing through to finally make the choiceSimilar boat, except I told her I want a divorce a few days ago. 4 kids, two not yet in school. I can’t handle the mental and emotional abuse any longer. I’ve tried and tried and tried. She’s a SAHM and the financial impact scares me but I’ll make it work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/26 12:49 PM |
| 1 | SeparationDude it sounds like we’d have a good evening comparing stories at the bar. When I first started seeing my therapist it was a relief to have someone hear me and not tell me I was totally wrong and making shit up. Months and months later, he confessed to me that after that first session HE needed to calm down cause it had him so worked up - and that was just a greatest hits album. When I told my wife I’m done she basically talked for 4 hours straight. I just let her. In that she confessed to baby … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/26 04:03 AM |
| 1 | SeparationNot knowing anything about your relationship, I just want to say someone else saying you don’t communicate well doesn’t mean you are the problem. Her, too, man. I recently told my wife we’re going to get divorced. She’s made the same accusations about me. And sure I could have been better but I’m just fed up with it all. Yelling and screaming is not a communication method, and that’s been her approach. So I’m done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/26 12:25 AM |
| 9 | Anyone else have a STBX that has people fooled?Well. This is why I’m divorcing her. Constant victimization. I can only assume the stories she will tell to make her look like the victim. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 05:58 PM |
| 3 | Man you guys are always right.Thank you!! I’m confident I will. I have a therapist who understands me well, and a very supportive best friend. My wife has said multiple times she wants me masking around her. I need to have a chance to be myself. I can’t wait to fully meet me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 05:41 PM |
| 3 | Man you guys are always right.Also. Just scrolled to your profile and apart from a good taste in music noticed you also have Asperger’s. I feel my Asperger’s allowed her to control me for so long, cause she took those vulnerabilities and manipulated me. I’m so happy I woke up to it. And looking heard to being myself - unmasked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 03:22 PM |
| 3 | Man you guys are always right.Dude. Yes. EXACTLY. I’m fucking ecstatic. It won’t be easy but I’ll be so much happier not being with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 03:18 PM |
| 2 | Forget about affair, I’m now worried about my kids safety.Ahhhhh. That’s fucked up, dude. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 01:44 PM |
| 16 | Man you guys are always right.Yes, agreed. She was happy you were down. Mine is very upset right now, cause I said I’m divorcing her instead of allowing her to continue to treat me like shit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 01:44 PM |
| 2 | Forget about affair, I’m now worried about my kids safety.Didn’t make sense to me, either. Then I thought if he’s worked up details won’t make sense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 01:02 PM |
| 1 | What were the signs you wished you paid more attention to?Happier now? I am still fresh into this. Told her I’m done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 02:54 AM |
| 4 | What were the signs you wished you paid more attention to?Love bombing when we first got together, but then also getting upset when I wasn’t doing what she wanted. It was a very clever scheme - had me thinking I legitimately did things wrong. The more she showed forgiveness when I did things wrong, like loaded the dishwasher wrong or laughed at a joke she didn’t think was funny (yes, these really happened), the more I grew to think she’s putting more into it than I was. In truth, this was fucking miserable and she very nearly broke me. In hindsight, to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 02:11 AM |
| 2 | Found out she had a Roth IRA that was hidden from me for the 20 months of our marriageRight!!? I’m tired of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 06:22 PM |
| 3 | Found out she had a Roth IRA that was hidden from me for the 20 months of our marriageThis right here is one of the reasons for me divorcing. My money is hers and her money is hers. She’s made that clear. She doesn’t work and I do, but she’ll have a nice inheritance whereas I won’t. I just can’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 11:05 AM |
| 5 | Hidden camerasWow! Crazy to me to see this post at the top cause just before I opened Reddit I thought to myself “is she going to set up cameras and trackers?” Like someone else said. Block them in the WiFi app. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/26 08:47 PM |
| 3 | Wife (soon to be ex) is abusive and inconsistent at bestThis sounds familiar. My wife used to hit and say it was playful then I made it clear to not do it again. She’s mean and bitchy to me. Puts it on for everyone else. Makes everything a me problem and constantly victimizes herself. Two years ago I said I was done. She came onto me, and being in a dead bedroom (i have a high libido) I didn’t say no and I knocked her up with the 4th kid. Now here we are. Two years later. And she’s being nice again cause she can feel me distancing myself. She has tol… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/26 04:08 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m readyMy therapist has helped me to understand how I’ve been conditioned to respond certain ways over the last 17 years, including being non confrontational. The thing is. I know - I KNOW - I will lose myself if I stay in this. We have kids. But where she’s put my mental and emotional state over the years I can’t do it anymore. I’m going to tell her in the next 3-4 weeks. She suspects, I think. Key is individual therapy for yourself. I look at improvement done to date is to allow us to separate with l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/26 03:33 PM |
| 3 | Officially DivorcedWell now you can celebrate on her birthday!! Shitty about the premarital asset. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 08:23 PM |
| 3 | Accidentally over paid my ex. She refuses to give me the overage.Haircut the next payment with a note you already “prepaid” a portion of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 04:53 PM |
| 3 | A little realisationI should have divorced mine years ago when she was a SAHM - without kids at the time - telling me i need to get a higher paying job and also a second job, while insisting there were no jobs available for her. Even now with as much money as I make she still insists I need to find another job that pays this much with less hours. All while shopping online CONSTANTLY.p When divorced, even though my take home is going to SUCK it will be glorious that I’m in full control of my money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 12:01 AM |
| 2 | What are you supposed to do when you think divorce is the only way?I’m currently in therapy as I prepare myself to file. She’s also in therapy and will say she’s blindsided. Mentally, thinking of being married to her for longer is too much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 10:37 PM |
| 6 | What to say when asked about my divorce?Personally, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business and you don’t need to justify your actions to others. Isn’t that the best part of being divorced? No longer having to explain yourself? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 09:26 PM |
| 5 | After 11 years, I finally filed. Here are the real reasons and they're not what anyone expectsStart strong and don’t let her get under your skin. You already know what to expect; you know she will make it your fault and convince you your understanding is erred. Grey rock. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 04:55 PM |
| 7 | After 11 years, I finally filed. Here are the real reasons and they're not what anyone expects^ same. Never know where you stand or when to expect the next explosion. Mentally I can’t handle this whiplash anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Update. Separation agreement has been signedWhat kind of things are you saying didn’t know existed? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 12:34 PM |
| 3 | What is going on?My thoughts; my wife is very similar and including too our families. And even down to me trying to record her one time. In my case, I believe my wife unraveling when presented with the truth is cause she doesn’t actually know what the truth is, rather she believes whatever she says in that moment. My wife is vindictive. She doesn’t know how to do moderation. Even when lying, screaming. Stay consistent. Don’t let her get in your head. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 04:26 AM |
| 3 | Child support question IllinoisAt 9 months old the child should be on solids and eating baby food, etc, at least. My kids were all different. Shouldn’t be a year for you to have overnights. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 09:10 PM |
| 3 | Best next steps?Fingers crossed for you. Stay vigilant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 05:56 PM |
| 9 | Best next steps?Sorry to hear. She’s been done a long time. This is tough this late in the game, when your financial life should be more expected. Yes, lawyer up. She’s had PLENTY of time to think of what she wants and this is new for you. She has an idea of her figure financial outlook and you’re playing catchup. Don’t give more than you have to. Likely with so many years it’s just straight 50/50. Sell the house and downsize, or buy out if you feel comfortable with split retirement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 04:48 PM |
| 2 | Saddest Day of my LifeHey man. I don’t know you or your situation but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t one single thing. She latches onto it but it’s representative of so many. At least that’s my perception as the one in my marriage who is done and no going back. My wife has said many, many incredibly hurtful things over the years. Mentally I’m attaching to just a couple - cause it doesn’t help to discuss ask the rest and litigate it. I’ve tried to make it work. I’ve tried to be supportive of her and for many years believed… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 03:53 PM |
| 1 | AdviceWas very similar to me. Not just sex - it was lots of parts of our marriage that weren’t working. I told her I was done. She came onto me, did stuff she’s never done, and I was so sex starved I was an eager player. Lo and behold I knocked her up with #4. Sex increased after that. During pregnancy and after. I got a vasectomy while she was pregnant so this wouldn’t happen again. Yes, sex is still pretty good. Frequent. Usually about every 4-5 days. But you know what - turns out there was a lot mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/26 03:20 AM |
| 5 | Despair - The Long Term Financial Implications of Divorce as a DadHi. You’ve voiced my concerns about my future (4 kids, high earner, USA). And it makes me wonder about the breakdown of your expenses. For me, I know my rent (ugh. I’ve owned homes for 15 years and now I’ll rent) will be a lot cause I want to stay in the same school district as my kids. Which means I have to pinch elsewhere. I’d recommend posting this in a personal finance sub. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/26 06:14 PM |
| 5 | It was my fault. I feel so much guilt.Hi. I understand this VERY deeply. I’m the same as you. I’m bi. And I’m about to tell my wife I want a divorce. Not because of my sexuality, though her approach to it hasn’t helped. My wife has hurt my feelings being comprehension previously, and I MUST - for my own sanity - not be married to her anymore. She will continue to hurt me. I’ve seen her patterns and they’ve been solid for so many years. She told me in the last couple of years, multiple times, that she’s changed. And then a couple mon… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 09:39 PM |
| 3 | How long to sit feeling sad vs moving onAnd that’s okay, man. The feelings are going to come and go. If you do something to move on, check yourself and see if you’re ready for that step. What works for some won’t work for all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 03:32 PM |
| 1 | The voice inside of me has been telling me to leaveI understand your perspective here. My wife thinks everyone has a problem…except her. And there’s been PLENTY of times she’s aggressively gone after my family. Her sister is estranged. Always the victim. It all makes so much sense. When I’ve shared my feelings she’s said “you don’t get to have feelings, only I get to have feelings” and wants a yes man. When I’m not with her, it’s quiet. I’ve got 4 kids and that would seemingly be chaos but honestly it’s not when it’s just me and them. As soon as… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 05:41 AM |
| 2 | Need some adviceI agree with you. It’s damaging long-term. Recently my therapist told me it is going to be hard for me to heal while I’m still in the same house as my wife. And the funny thing is - divorce actually benefits both parties in the long run. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 06:34 PM |
| 0 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.How long until your divorce is finalized? Personally, I feel if people agree to end it then they should be able to cause it’s a stressful time and sex is a good stress reliever. I have a high libido and I’m in a low libido marriage. The lure is there during divorce. For sure. But if I could go months of no sex in marriage surely I can hold out?? We’ll see I suppose! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.Personally, my state would find it problematic. Do you have any work travel coming up? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 01:49 PM |
| 2 | I’ve made it to the other sideTHANK YOU!! I took the kids out the other day. It was quiet; it was great. We get home and instantly the dynamic shifts. She’s loud. It’s stressful, honestly! Cant wait! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 11:45 AM |
| 1 | I’ve made it to the other sideGood luck to you, man. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. My wife was physical a couple times over the years - the look I gave her and how seriously I told her to not touch me seems effective. The emotional and mental abuse has never stopped, though. Through therapy, I’ve realized just how much I’ve been conditioned to feel certain ways. I hate the buzzword use but my therapist diagnosed me with ptsd - from my marriage!! Last week we talked about how the only way to really improve is to not be … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 11:36 AM |
| 3 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.Hey man your libido makes sense - you’re working out (great job btw) and doing so definitely will get you horned up. It’s human. Don’t apologize for being human. As far as having sex with anyone - others have mentioned asking yourself if you can do it without emotional attachment. If yes, great. If not, then back to the therapist. What does your therapist say about the sex need? Mine is very supportive. The other thing I’ll mention is depending on where you are, sex while going through a divorce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 11:31 AM |
| 6 | Wife decided we should separate two days ago. Then last night I found her in the back seat of our car with another guy. Fuck.Hate to hear this. I’ll tell you, in my marriage I’m the one initiating the divorce. This is because I’m done and there is no chance of reconciliation. What she did is very hurtful - in your face and then she ran away from discussing it. What matters is you’ve taken care of yourself and made significant personal improvements. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 08:27 PM |
| 1 | What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit.Good for you!! I had wanted to get my PhD for many years. Have a couple of masters I got in my 20s. 40 now. Who knows. Maybe I still will. I’ve only ever wanted to be an adjunct. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 06:02 AM |
| 1 | What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit.I feel you dude. I honestly don’t know when I would want to get into another relationship with a woman again. I gave so much of me to her and how she treated me… I’m just happy I finally woke up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:21 AM |
| 2 | What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit.Dude I completely agree. The amount of times I hear from my wife “men are weak” - I always talk and prop her up. Don’t know why she can’t reciprocate. Ah, well, I guess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 01:11 AM |
| 3 | What kind of woman calls your own mother a piece of shit.One time my dad made a joke about a fake sword slitting his throat. My wife said “go ahead” with such contempt under her breath. I thought about this when he died recently, and she was seemingly sad. I’ll be happy to be not married to her any longer. I’ll be nice for the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 12:01 AM |
| 5 | The Quiet Patterns of Split Custody Nobody Tells You AboutSaving this one. Thank you, man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Apparently ripped the screen door window off my neighbors house to get in because my key wouldn't work and passed out in the lawn because I couldn't get in because I though my ex stole my key.My marriage has been so mentally and emotionally stressful I’ve experienced derealization episodes where I believe anything that is supportive of me is not real and I made it up. Therapist assures me it’s not a sign of a mental break, but rather something the mind does to protect itself in very stressful situations. Longest one has been a week. I don’t dare tell my wife cause she’d use it against me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 11:22 AM |
| 1 | Parenting conflictWhat and how are you teaching them the opposite? Her ease is in opposition to structure and rigidity; relaxing your own style, perhaps by starting relaxed and titrating up, could help. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/26 08:56 PM |
| 5 | The hard truthI told my therapist today I hope she finds happiness in the future, and I hope the same for me as well. I really do mean it. I feel strongly that she and I are just incompatible, and this marriage should have ended many years ago before we had a bunch of kids. I’m pretty sure she is decades away from wanting me to be happy. Thus, we’re incompatible!! lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/26 03:45 AM |
| 6 | Want a divorce but want to keep the last name of the husbandPart of the reason I’m getting divorced is my wife thinks she needs to have a say in every thing I do and think. Once she admitted she just wanted a houseboy. That’s not me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/26 05:29 PM |
| 3 | Delivering the news.I don’t really feel there’s a good way to do this. Not a good time. Especially with kids, there’s always something going on. I planning to tell mine after Easter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/26 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on Modest Means?? Atlanta Bar - Divorcelol!! I was there with my kids this weekend as they wanted to look at the fish eyeballs. Haha. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on Modest Means?? Atlanta Bar - DivorceGood luck to you, brother!!! If you see me at Costco smiling and by myself you’ll know I’m making it all work!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 07:48 PM |
| 2 | Repetitive thoughts of divorcingI believe yes, it is common to have the thoughts come and go. You’re looking for explanations, and solutions. You’re grieving the what if. For me, the years of dead bedroom brought to light our greater incompatibility. And I can’t unsee it now. I’m working my therapist to prepare my mind for what my heart wants. I can’t be married to her anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 07:47 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on Modest Means?? Atlanta Bar - Divorcelol! I’m a stones throw from Paulding but on this side of the county line!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Getting through itShe’s saying she wants you to date and that she isn’t sure she’ll find love again, but then you found out she’s flirting, etc. It sounds like she’s learning to be herself, and genuinely wants you to be, as well. You’re not backup. You two share a bond and that’s great. But this isn’t a romantic relationship and doesn’t sound like it will be. Be good friends with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on Modest Means?? Atlanta Bar - DivorceHmmmm. Thoughts on Cobb? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 06:43 PM |
| 4 | Why divorce if things are amicable?Friendship might be there but no longer romance .0 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 12:53 AM |
| 1 | Any head drugs you got prescribed to help?I had a panic attack recently and so I got a rx for vistaril. I see my therapist generally every week or two, too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 11:37 PM |
| 1 | 37M Considering Divorce – Feeling Burnt Out, No Love Left, But Afraid of Ruining Her LifeMy wife is also “highly codependent” per her therapist. Wife likes to pull therapy terms like “energy management” and use against me. Through my own therapy, I’ve learned to recognize her patterns. And truthfully they play out the exact same every time. The pattern recognition enables me to be more resilient and more confident in my next steps. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 08:55 PM |
| 4 | 37M Considering Divorce – Feeling Burnt Out, No Love Left, But Afraid of Ruining Her LifeThis sounds familiar to my situation, but we have kids. I can’t be responsible for her any longer. And I won’t. So I’m going to file. My mental health is important to me and I fear what will happen to me if I stay. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 07:58 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneThat’s very ridiculous!!!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 07:08 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneInteresting. Sounds like motel meets it is! LOL jk jk | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 03:53 AM |
| 7 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneI’d look into it. For sure. And then not admit to her what you’re doing. None of her business. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 01:17 AM |
| 0 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneMakes sense she would get weird - my wife certainly would. In your state are you allowed to date before officially divorced? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 01:09 AM |
| 1 | Dating again after divorce and infidelity when living with chronic painSome people don’t have it in them to be caregivers. My wife would say she does, but her frustrations and dismissiveness about my 15-year diagnosed chronic pain syndrome says a lot. Even when I got vasectomy she claimed I was making it up about needing to rest after. Makes lots of comments about “boys are weak” and when I do get sick she’s mad at me. When she gets sick I take care of her. I’m middle aged now and recently lost my father at only 63. I watched my mother take care of him even in thos… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 07:59 PM |
| 1 | First full week in my new apartmentMy house is 3600 sq ft and so much of what I want from a house. I was asked this week “if you’re in a small apartment how would you feel? Regretful? Lighter?” And IMMEDIATELY I knew the answer: lighter. I’m at the start of my journey and i know it won’t be easy but I also know my mental health will be so much improved from not being married to her any longer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 07:54 PM |
| 2 | The regret is unbearableThat’s right, brother. My eyes are open and I will no longer have my agency managed by her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 07:40 PM |
| 5 | Navigating parenthood on your own.... do I need to chill out more?Mine likes to pull all nighters with his buddies, too. If they have a game or something the next day then I’d put a cap on it - like 2am tops. And explain why. Remember your job is to be dad, not a friend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 07:25 PM |
| 2 | 700 pleadings, 12 years, and i won full custody with 364 overnights per yearThank you. Be firm and unyielding. I like that. Thank you for sharing! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 04:11 PM |
| 1 | What divorce/stress related health issues have gotten you?Wife has borderline personality disorder and is gifted at getting under my skin. She knows how to trigger me and I’ve experienced derealization episodes as a result. I know the signs of this coming on so I’m better equipped but this is still a very real threat after decades of mistreatment by her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 03:50 PM |
| 1 | What divorce/stress related health issues have gotten you?Damn! Can you get on prep? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 03:47 PM |
| 2 | 700 pleadings, 12 years, and i won full custody with 364 overnights per yearThanks for sharing and it sounds like you’ve been through hell. Can you tell me more about not making waves? I’ve of course always heard that. My wife’s family has money and is local, whereas mine doesn’t and lives in another state. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Ex is saying I violated MSAMaybe I’m a bit paranoid but i feel this may have been intentional to set you up for complaints. I’m assuming she generally makes things an issue, right? If she’s always been pro vax and harping on this issue it’s nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with her wanting to punish you. Take a look at your papers and look for vulnerabilities AND follow what is written to the letter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 12:58 PM |
| 2 | Seen a hot chickI’m in a similar position. 4 kids, marriage is a daily challenge. We can’t communicate. We’re not on the same page. I’m also the only source of income in our home. I get checked out by other women, and I tell my wife. For us, we’re nearing the end. I know this. She knows it. The thought of staying together is mentally beyond exhausting. When you think about being not married to her, do you feel relief or anxiety? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 01:17 AM |
| 3 | Bro to Bro,man to man,father to father….Hey man, appreciate this perspective. My wife knows I’m unhappy and actively talking to try and say how great we are together - I’m just DONE. What did you do to prepare? A lot of times when I’m looking at this stuff it just seems there’s so much to cover and with the stakes, it’s daunting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 08:27 PM |
| 1 | After four months I found out my therapist is a radical feminist....what should I do?Sounds like you’re thinking about this a lot, but running on assumptions. You may consider asking her if she’s comfortable with treatment proceeding as you’re not sure if knowing radical feminism makes you comfortable. I’d definitely consider using ChatGPT to frame the question so it’s received clearly. We all have private lives, and we all have feelings. It’s how we manage and don’t let those feelings get in the way of our jobs or relationships that matter (and this includes proceeding with int… | /r/MensRights | 28/01/26 04:41 PM |
| 5 | After four months I found out my therapist is a radical feminist....what should I do?I had a session with my therapist this morning. He’s deeply into his faith, and I’m atheist. I haven’t directly stated it (not relevant to my issues), but I’ve told him I’m not interested in the faith elements. He was fine with that. I say this to point out that we don’t need a mirror for our therapists. That said, i chose a male neurodivergent therapist because I’m male and neurodivergent. I wanted understanding, and also someone who could objectively tell me i need to settle down. Today i ment… | /r/MensRights | 28/01/26 04:33 PM |
| 2 | Married men that used to by “happy wife, happy life” but escaped that trap, what happened?Thanks, man. Got my wife to take a bath and I took my 4 kids out for lunch today. It was so great. And peaceful. I don’t really know how she’ll do in a divorce. I’m pretty sure I’d do just fine. Plus, she’s not my concern. Years of an unhealthy marriage made sure of that. I believe my kids will adjust and be happy seeing positive relationships and happiness from their parents. | /r/MensRights | 27/12/25 08:20 PM |
| 6 | Married men that used to by “happy wife, happy life” but escaped that trap, what happened?After over a dozen years of hearing that my feelings didn’t matter, only her feelings (yes, I was actually told this) I said I wanted divorce. Well. That couldn’t happen then and so mentally I gave her another two years. We’re coming up on that two years. She’s made a lot of improvement and had she made them sooner it would be good for our marriage. The problem is, I fell out of love with her before I said I wanted a divorce. And try as I might, I’m still not in love with her again. I’m unhappy … | /r/MensRights | 26/12/25 05:10 AM |
| 3 | Either both spouses should abandon their duties after divorce or neither should.In my case my wife has been a SAHM for about 15 years. Strange cause our eldest is 11. Which means she chose to not work. I enabled it by not fighting it. I had a terrible salary then, too. So here, I’m looking at divorce in next year. 4 kids. And I have a great salary. And what’s going to happen? I’m going to pay out a ridiculous sum to someone who wasn’t supportive of my career for many years. AND I’ll have to work and have my kid’s solo half the time…which means she could have been doing it a… | /r/MensRights | 13/12/25 05:07 AM |
| 2 | As a high-earner, is my apprehension about marriage rational, or am I being excessively paranoid?I make 200k, am married, and planning to divorce next year. So excited (not) to half my earnings to a woman who treated me like shit for so many years. You’re right to be apprehensive. True love is like finding a unicorn, man. | /r/MensRights | 09/12/25 01:06 AM |
| 6 | What caused you to get into Men's Rights?For me, it was being married to my wife. Still married, but after so many years of “men are weak” it was building. Final straw for me was when I got my vasectomy and she said I was making up the need to rest after. Bought a bunch of books, joined this subreddit, and am happier for it. | /r/MensRights | 02/11/25 12:45 AM |
| 18 | Well-behaved men seldom change the present.Squeaky wheel gets the grease Nice guys finish last Yet. What do you want to accomplish? The greater challenge is to be a good man and still succeed with greatness | /r/MensRights | 09/09/25 02:13 PM |
| 4 | The Growing Cohort of Single Dads by ChoiceI agree | /r/MensRights | 20/08/25 11:45 PM |
| 3 | Anyone regrets going M G T O W after an amicable divorce?Terrible to hear. My wife doesn’t work. To support her shopping habits she’ll need to find a job - what a change that will be! | /r/MensRights | 29/06/25 04:50 PM |
| 6 | Anyone regrets going M G T O W after an amicable divorce?I decided a year ago to tell her I’m out for that exact reason. Ended up knocking her up cause I couldn’t keep it in my pants after saying I want a divorce (I would argue baby trap) and given I have several other kids with my wife I couldn’t exactly go my own way. BUT. It has led to more of an understanding that I am going to do my own shit and she needs to accept it or I’m out. Happiest I’ve been in my adulthood tbh and it’s partly due to my absolute rejection of happy wife happy life. Should t… | /r/MensRights | 29/06/25 01:25 PM |
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