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RanchingMama Archive

View 7 posts and 60 comments by RanchingMama on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I come from a broken home- my ex-husband does not. His parents have been married for over 45 years now. When he left (he was in love with his mistress and chose her) I told him he had no idea what he was doing to the kids. I lived through it- he had not. His response was that I turned out OK and they would too. I honestly think people have little idea of how much damage it can do.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 05:46 PM
11

My kids are a bit older now- youngest will be 10 in August. I learned a few tricks that helped me- Newborn- Hormones are a mess. Breastfeeding usually dampens any drive then you add in being tired. I did two things that helped - Co-sleep through the newborn stage. I know it's controversial. But by baby 2, 3 & 4 I NEEDED the sleep that it allowed me to get. More sleep meant a happier me in the morning. If hubby wanted sex we got creative and left the bed. Kids were in their own bed by 4 mths. Sin…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/17 04:36 PM
1

No. I don't eat a large breakfast, but I always eat something- typical would be eggs and toast.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/17 06:32 AM
1

I usually get both before I leave my house. It feels more like my body just doesn't have the same response.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/17 07:46 AM
1

I occasionally have a glass of wine in the evening- but I'm not a heavy drinker.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/17 11:54 PM
1

Definitely worth a try!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/17 02:52 AM
6

I have to be at work at 6:30. Aiming for the gym and stopping by his place would have me getting up at 3:30-4am. I honestly don't have that in me along with kids, work and my side business. I'd try it- but I'd much prefer to see if something else works first.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/17 02:39 PM
2

A typical go would be 3 maybe 4.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/17 02:41 AM
4

I'd love to change the schedule- but the evening restriction is on his part not mine. He teaches until 9:30ish most nights and often has his kids at home.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/17 02:40 AM
7

I've decided that 2017 is my year. 2014 was hard at the end- my marriage split up. 2015 was a rotten, gut wrenching roller coaster. 2016 saw me start to stand on my own. I raised my income by 15%, completed some education goals, started dating again (nothing serious so far), moved into a great little house. I feel that these just set the stage to really seize 2017. I'll be: Furthering my financial goals. Run a marathon. I've done halfs but it's time to kick it up. Enlarge my social circle. Focus…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/17 01:20 AM
2

I think it's important to look at how I've contributed to any situation good or bad. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes by not being aware of them.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/16 03:20 PM
1

Having gone through and subsequently divorcing as a result of my ex-husband's affair I can say #7 was an issue for me. While it doesn't excuse his behavior and doesn't let him off the hook, I can acknowledge that I'm not one to pay compliments easily. I was good at saying "Thank you", but not good at verbal admiration. For him it took actions and words. I was good at one, but not the other. When things got hard that gap probably felt enormous. Something to learn from.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/16 06:49 PM
3

I'll caution against trying to do everything for everyone. Over the summer (May to September) I worked intense hours (7 Days a week) averaging 65+ a week. Had my kids, house and animals to take care of as well. When I did have down time all I wanted to do was sleep or rest. By late August I was fried. Just had nothing left to give because I wasn't taking what I needed for myself. To really find balance you will need to set that time aside. Make it yours. That will mean that sometimes other thing…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/16 04:07 PM
1

Why push when you're not interested? It only makes men confusing.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/16 09:34 PM
1

Maybe I'm just too soft, but it's this kind of stuff that I just don't get. Why treat someone like that?
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/16 06:45 PM
1

Its either that we say something like "it was nice to meet you, but I didn't feel a connection" or the conversation/texts simply die out afterward. if i meet up with a girl for a first date, i will ask her out again for a second, specifically to test this. if she says no, no big deal. if she says yes, but i didn't actually want to go out, i will just come up with some bullshit, cancel, and ghost her I'm curious why you would need to play a game like this? It seems like a waste of time and kind o…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/16 04:19 PM
1

My marriage/relationship was successful for quite a long time so I'm not sure if his being higher maintenance really was the cause. Maybe a contributing factor because it's never as simple as one thing. I do think that his mistress/gf (also a body builder) is closer to his maintenance level than I am. I am quite submissive- and I can see how it has the potential to be a detriment or a positive. Thank you for the observation- it's something I hadn't looked at that way before.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/16 04:14 PM
1

It definitely was a painful experience. But I refuse to be at its mercy. It's not how you fall- its how you get up. I'm honestly not worried about income (so long as he doesn't have significant financial issues) - I like my life simple. I make enough to support my family and put some money away. As far as his physical appearance- I don't mind a less than perfect body. As long as I find him attractive and there is desire there, then its all good. My ex was an amateur body builder (with all that c…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/16 03:48 PM
2

The locations are definitely an issue. Starbucks tend to be in strip malls- not conducive to doing much of anything. Would be a good idea to change that up. As far as talking - I can only do my part. When this happens I feel like I'm the one having to carry the conversation. Oh- and thank you for the link. I'll check it out ASAP.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 06:33 PM
1

Very well could be. I tend to think more that they don't want to feel stuck or just aren't putting much thought into it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 06:28 PM
1

I like that suggestion - can't hurt to try it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 04:27 PM
1

I'm meeting most guys through online dating- working on expanding my social/ activity circle to help with that but for now online is easiest. Typically we text for a week before meeting- sometimes 2 if life is getting in the way. Usually includes a conversation or two on the phone. As for qualifiers - I ask what they are looking for. Have they dated a mom before- are they ok with that? What are their interests beyond what was in their profile? How many kids do they have? Those types on questions…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 04:25 PM
2

I think it feeds into itself. When we sit down and I ask a few questions then the conversation falls flat- I know that something just isn't working for me. Honestly I don't have this issue when I go to dinner or just about any other place. My job involves having a very good handle on the art of conversation and it comes pretty naturally to me. I can talk to and flirt with just about anyone. When I don't have "it" (conversation mojo) I flounder and it starts to feel like work to keep things movin…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 01:59 AM
12

All true- and I'm well aware of it. I'm very honest about it- when a guy meets me he knows all of the above. I'm in good physical shape- don't need to lose weight, but would benefit from some muscle. I am tall- so that makes it a little harder to put it on. Most of the guys I've gone out with are a bit older or single dads. Most do not put the hours into the gym that I do. Which is fine with me- I find them attractive so it's not an issue. I try my best to be a positive person when I'm out. I do…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 12:21 AM
5

I think the biggest difference is situational- there's a distraction with bowling or pool or whatever activity it is so that if the conversation lags or whatnot you have an outlet/alternative. There's pretty good humor to be found in my LACK of bowling ability too :) I'm not sure how to answer why the feeling is mutual. On my side I often feel that I have to carry the conversation. This normally isn't an issue for me but, as I mentioned before, I just can't seem to hit that stride. Another item-…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/16 12:11 AM
2

This is not a bad thing; it wouldn't have worked any better at dinner and a movie with these particular guys. Several mismatches in a row tells me the problem is further upstream in the dating funnel. Perhaps your meeting, selection, and initial screening/vetting processes need a tune-up? It's very possible. I'm still kind of feeling that part out a little bit. I like your fountain idea. In my area we have several old town/ small town squares where they host weekly live bands etc. Nice outdoor e…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/16 09:58 PM
1

Could very well be that. A change in approach is definitely a good thing to try.
/r/RedPillWives20/09/16 05:48 PM
1

I very much agree- and am lucky that most of my hobbies are physical in nature - running, biking, hiking, swimming and even kayaking (good for the core and shoulders ) - so I set aside an hour each morning to do these. I find that I'm happier, eat better and generally more productive when I do this . Kayaking I do because being outdoors and away gives me something that I cannot find in a gym. Whitewater gives me a rush which is pretty awesome :). I keep these to Saturday mornings and am done by …
/r/RedPillWives20/09/16 03:55 PM
1

Point taken. I have set up my schedule so that my evenings are free. I think the issue comes in when I am talking to a perspective date as that's usually when I get the question. I've never had so much of a scheduling issue as I get the "You do all that? Do you have time to date?" without their realizing that everything is done and wrapped up by 5pm on weekdays and weekends are much more flexible.
/r/RedPillWives20/09/16 03:39 PM
1

More what they are without it sounding like they are over whelming. For most people saying that you have a couple of hobbies is fine- but when its combined with kids then I completely understand why it looks daunting. I had one guy tell me that I must be a bad mom if I do all of my stuff and date- which kind of sent me down the rabbit hole a bit.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 08:37 PM
1

The divorce has been final for some time. I did take about a year before I even considered dating again. I do use online dating as the convenience is great. Being that I work for a very small company and my social group is still small- it seems like a good choice for now. I am hoping that some of the meet up groups I've joined will pan out as well.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 08:35 PM
1

Actually I do something similar- gym is in the morning before work or right after - done before 5pm. Most hobbies are done during the day - usually on the earlier side so that my evenings are mostly free. With woodworking I can easily leave it alone for days unless its a project with a deadline which is rare. Where I'm running into trouble is that I get asked about it frequently - usually after they've asked what my interests are and what I do with my down time.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 08:01 PM
1

I'm 40. Met my ex when I was 19- wasn't single again until just shy of my 39th birthday.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 07:54 PM
2

I've thought of that :). I do belong to a meet up group for kayaking, but so far all of the guys are married. I just joined a running group (meets one day a week after work) so that might be good :). Haven't yet found a biking or hiking group with meetups that I could make due to distance or time of day (during work hours) but I'll keep looking.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 07:21 PM
3

I understand. I'm curious as to how you do things to keep yourself healthy (have your own interests) but make sure your guy knows he's a priority. In my marriage I had one - but not the other.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 06:04 PM
2

thank you- it's been an interesting road with a lot of changes. I agree that I may have swung too far the other direction- it's a problem that has come up in other areas of my life as well. If I think I have failed at something I tend to go full tilt into solving it.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 04:01 PM
2

Very good point. When I'm asked what my plans are for the weekend I usually answer with something like kayaking & cooking - I may be giving the impression that its an all day thing which is not true. Other times I'm asked what I'm doing at the moment and I usually answer with work or whatever is going on. For the most part my evenings are free (oldest can babysit or they are at their dad's house), but I seem to fail to convey this early enough in the conversation.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:49 PM
3

I'm well aware that my dating prospects are less/slim due to being older and having kids. Those are not things I can change. My questions are two fold How do I convey that I'm willing/able to make time for a guy when asked what I'm doing or what my interests/ hobbies are? I try to explain it but I still get asked if I have time for dating. How do I balance a relationship and being there without completely losing myself again- becoming that boring person who has no interests of her own.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:23 PM
2

Not mutually exclusive- something that I failed at impressively before. I allowed the demands of house, kids and marriage to be everything I did. The house sparkled, kids were educated (home schooled), dinner was always on the table and my ex was happy for a long time (marriage failed the last 2 years). All of which I'm proud of. What I'm not proud of is coming out of that with no discernible interest of my own. Honestly I was really boring to be around and likely dragged things down as a result…
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:13 PM
2

No really excited to be single- Divorce was not my choice. More like trying to make the best of it. My ex and I split due to his having an affair. I say "multiple reasons" because I personally believe the affair didn't happen in a vacuum- looking back I can see many faults in myself. I do think that part of the affair may have been my not having interests outside of the home. I never kept him from doing anything, but I didn't have any passions either. I agree on the single father advice. What I'…
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:03 PM
2

Yes- I am submissive by nature and am drawn to a more dominant partner. I just don't know how to combine being lead with having my own identity.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 06:10 AM
3

I see the reason behind your question. To be honest I would like to be married again in time. I feel that there are things in myself that need to be worked on before that will happen. My ex and I had a traditional marriage with a lot of good years. It's sad that it didn't work out, but I still need to move forward. Having things out of balance in my marriage lead to issues for me- I was simply too blind to see them before. What I am trying to do is go into the next relationship with my goals (ba…
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:26 AM
3

My apologies- I should have included this. I have my kids 50% of the time- week on week off- though I do attend their events on my "off weeks". My work is generally 40+ a week (Summer- Fall being the busiest). I have a side business (I'm a private swimming coach/instructor) that is busy during the Spring-Summer, but dead Fall- Winter. I cannot give this up as it is a financial need. As for hobbies I kayak - white water and flat water- as often as I can. I hike, swim and road bike as well. I also…
/r/RedPillWives19/09/16 03:17 AM
3

I was going to say just this. Get out and do something that gives you a cardio high. Alone. If I'm grouchy it's usually because I haven't taken the time to do the things (running for me too ) that relieve stress. Once I do I feel so much better- the world looks brighter.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/16 03:19 PM
2

I have been on a few dates. My custody is 50/50 which allows for some flexibility. The guys I have been out with have known about my kids and are open to dating women with children- I don't hide anything. I also do not involve the kids in anything and have no plans for them to meet anyone until its very serious. I've actually recently met someone that I'm interested in and seems to be interested in me as well. We're taking it pretty slow. I think that it has me a little scared. I love my life an…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 09:24 PM
1

I see your point. I don't want them to come out not trusting (my oldest already doubts she will get married which breaks my heart), I just want them to have a solid head on their shoulders. It's a tricky line to balance for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 08:38 PM
1

This is true- I do tend to over analyze things. What I want in the future is to just to know that I could pay my bills on my income should I need to.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 07:11 PM
3

Thank you. I did remain marketable- which is great advice. But I won't pretend that I did not suffer income wise from a lack of real world experience- putting in the hours, projects and reviews etc. However- it was a trade off. I really wanted to be a SAHM. It's where my heart was- sometimes there are costs to following your heart. I wouldn't change it for anything- but I will teach my daughters to remain current and possibly work part time.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 06:51 PM
2

I've never been in a position where it I provided for myself but balanced a relationship as well. My ex and I started living together pretty young. I'm navigating unknown waters :). I'm not sure how to balance the new sense of independence with remaining open emotionally. As I go forward I want to find a way to do that. It's not that I can't do it- it's that I've never done it. Its definitely an internal thought process- and I do tend to think ahead a lot. But I want my personal guidelines for m…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/15 06:40 PM
1

I think you're interpreting my words in an unintended way. In my original post I made it clear that this was my issue- not his. I think you also mistook my intent. I want to feel feminine with a man. Generally the more feminine I feel- the more feminine I act- the more it attracts or brings out his masculine side which I am very attracted to. My concern in this was that I wanted to maintain the attraction. Having never dated a shorter man I did not want to come off as awkward to HIM. Less to do …
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/15 11:47 PM
1

Seeing as we've been on several dates now my answer is different than it would have been (knowing him a little better) before. It would be impossible to say not knowing someone. I would hope that he would see it as putting effort in and trying to get myself back in the dating scene after a very long absence. The fact is (as we've discussed it) he is shorter than I am. Ignoring it does not change it, but I can learn ways to soften the edges. Being taller than a guy often makes a woman feel awkwar…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/15 08:21 PM
1

Thank you for the points- I hadn't thought of his making feel feminine already. I fully understand that this is on my side (think the girls who was always in the back row for class pictures). I already have children and am not looking to have more so it is easy to put that imperative aside. I actually really admire the confidence it takes to ask someone out- especially given the height difference. He asked me out in person which is bonus points as well. I plan to wear flat sandals and otherwise …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/15 04:48 PM
2

Thank you- I figured I would go with some dressy sandals (its going to be 105 degrees here) and a skirt/top. I love heels- but I can go without them until I figure this out. I have a fit body- too much muscle to be considered skinny, but definitely not fat. Dainty was the word I was looking for- not sure how to have that come across.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/15 07:45 PM
2

I agree that admiration is a big one. With my ex I always let him know that I was grateful for all of his work, but I'm not sure that he felt that I looked up to him. This mostly because I was reserved with compliments- not because I did not feel admiration for him. It's strange to analyze it. I have always thought of myself as fairly submissive. We had very traditional gender roles and I usually deferred to his opinion/decisions. When I truly think about admiration- I wonder if not expressing i…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/15 06:30 PM
1

I wish I could say that I always felt in control through all of this. It's amazing the way a person can turn on you and lengths they can push you to. I had a choice of learning control (for myself as I cannot control others) or sink. With my kids depending on me- I cannot sink as much as I sometimes wanted to. Plus it feels good to be at this point!
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/15 06:17 PM
2

I whole- heartedly agree. I'm biased, but I think my kids are pretty awesome. They are most certainly one of my top priorities (and lets face it the other priorities relate to them as well). I'm just hoping that I can find someone who wants to share in the adventure.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/15 09:07 PM
1

Thanks- I'm already slim and plan to stay that way. But part of my discovery time includes training for a half marathon and taking a regular kick boxing class. Helps with staying slim and improves my mood.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/15 09:01 PM
1

Thank you for the advice. Im just starting to think about dating- not looking to start right away. Its part of my thinking/growth process. Trying to know what I want going forward - how do I want to proceed. The image part is a large reason behind my self improvement efforts. Being left kinda sucks the confidence out of you. Not saying that some things werent my fault- just saying that it knocked me down and Im building my way back up.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/15 05:30 AM
2

Thank you for the encouragement. I'll sound old saying this- but its really different meeting people now- a lot harder. My work is very solitary and I really have not been in the habit of flirting with anyone but my STBX (can be kinda shy) so I may need to work on being sociable a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 11:50 PM
1

Unfortunately no. He's moved in with his GF. It's just a matter of waiting for the paperwork to go through now.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 11:45 PM
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