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Rasaya87 Archive

View 0 posts and 163 comments by Rasaya87 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I completely agree. Half or more of the time I see these, I think "Did we date the same L/NVM?" 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:27 PM
1

I swear that sounds like my ex, a no good, immature LVM/NVM who, for all that he claimed he loved me, didn't do jack shit to show it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:49 AM
6

Sounds like my bloody idiot of an ex. Didn't even remember Valentine's Day date properly, thought it was the 17th! Like... How? 🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 02:25 AM
8

Definitely this. My ex said this to me when I was trying to get him to be an adult. "You deserve better/I don't deserve you". Damn right he didn't! NVM narcissistic prick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:55 PM
14

Reminds me of being asked how old I am at work. Granted, this is from good friends/coworkers who were shocked to learn I'm not 19 or 20, but 33. I told them I get that a lot. Unfortunately, for random people outside of work/friends/family, I get that a lot there too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:03 PM
2

My ex said exactly that sentence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:04 AM
1

"Oh trust me, I'm hung!" ... 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:02 AM
3

Lol, right? His chin is weirdly long 😹😹😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:03 AM
3

That first sentence of yours, I feel on a personal level. (Edit: the whole comment, really.) Even just a few years ago, I was told this by my younger sisters bf, "Don't be angry" in response to something that made me feel very angry and worried. Something I've been told so much growing up. I'm in my early 30s. Then friends and family wonder why I have issues communicating and such, when they were the ones who always told me to not feel negative emotions or express myself. Nowadays, they can kiss…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:59 PM
1

Ah, I remember seeing this post and feeling simultaneously happy for the girl, and distressed that my own father basically neglected the fuck out of me and my younger sister after our mom died, the day after my 16th birthday. He basically checked out and while I understand now that it was his way of coping and grieving with the love of his life's loss, ... it'd have been great if he actually supported us emotionally and parented us, instead of fucking off to another country or the casino multipl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:31 PM
8

Were we dating the same guy? It's like a playbook they go by with how predictable their shit gets. I'm glad you're looking after yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:13 PM
10

I can relate. I thought, pre FDS, that the rose my ex picked from his garden was swell. Well, he didn't even know what day Valentine's day was, so he didn't get me anything. I got us chocolate. Christmas? Birthday? I don't know a word for "I'll put 0 effort into thinking of you and what you like, so I'll just straight up ask you what you want for Christmas, then totally not even know what our one year anniversary is, not get you anything for your birthday the day after, then not give a flying sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:32 PM
4

I didn't even think of texting my exes dumb ass 😹👍 It's been nearly 6 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 11:07 PM
1

Or in the living room on Xbox going, "You don't have to wash those dishes!" Then if I didn't, dirty dishes would sit in the sink for days 🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:04 PM
3

Such bullshit. I bet they never turned that introspection inward. Lol 😹😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:21 AM
1

Oh gee, my ex did that. I didn't know then what I know now, though. Good thing he's an ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:17 AM
15

Yeah, my ex bypassed throwing shot and went straight into nearly crashing into a parked car head-on. 0 to 100 real fast, for no reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:31 PM
14

I can relate. While my ex never threw anything at me in the car, he did try to crash into a parked car on the sidewalk, nearly killing us. All to "pass the slow car in front of him", or some bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:26 PM
9

Uh, wow. I knew of this conceptually for a long time, but only now do I see that my dad, my younger sisters boyfriend, and my ex, all do/did this shit. Lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:24 PM
6

Always with this, with nearly yall my previous partners. What the hell is the point of trying to teach a guy how to touch you, only for them to give up at listening to your instructions and fail hard trying themselves? 😹😎🤷‍♀️🙄 I just don't get it. Needless to say, I've rarely come in any of my relationships, and it's been over 15 years since I started having relationships. 😅 Tempted to give up lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:45 AM
6

Oh, you and me both. New UGG slippers, for $100, a $30 stick vacuum, Nintendo Switch case and other practical things over the year I was with him, and I got... A rose picked from his garden two weeks in and a huge ass, cheap $20 stuffed bear some months (yes, it was on sale and yes, he told me that and the price. His older brother had to tell him to not do that 🙄😹🤦‍♀️). GTFOH ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:50 PM
7

Well said. It makes me glad I walked away when my narc ex said similarly yet wanted a second chance with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:38 AM
12

I feel this so hard. Every time I'd be disappointed, my ex would be like, "Why/Are you mad/mad at me?!" Uh, lol yes now I am thanks for getting on my nerves more 🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:04 AM
2

Your ex sounds like mine 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:00 AM
10

😹😹😹👍 That's grade A comedy gold!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 02:34 AM
3

Oh oh oh! jumps up and down ME. 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:30 AM
9

Sounds like my broke ass, man child narc ex. I paid for literally everything. Instead of seeing what he said as a 🚩 flag for our first and second dates, because I didn't know (his "I got fired from my job and it's these teen girls who don't like me fault!!" just before he met me, and he "KnOWs he should be the one paying for our dates!" 🙄🙄🙄), I paid for those dates, even after he flaked to hang out with his friends on our second. We rescheduled it 🙄🤦‍♀️ Yet he still had some money for weed...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 02:50 PM
8

Man I feel you. I think, in my kindness, pre-FDS, I spent about 3k or more over the course of a year on my own NVM ex and his roommate. Never again. You're damn right I'm salty about it, since it turned out to be financial abuse when the dumbass couldn't be arsed to provide the same, among other things. He even outright told me, in a conversation about money and financial stability, "You!" gleefully. I was his cash cow, bangmaid mommy, despite my constantly telling him that I couldn't keep doing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 02:24 PM
3

Lmfao, my narc ex's OK Cupid profile had a few lies in it. One of which was, "Am a good cook." Bitch couldn't even make more than scrambled eggs, toast and box Mac and Cheese. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:01 AM
1

You and me both. I had more or less, a string of them and will now not settle for anything less than what I deserve. I feel that, I wish I knew all this stuff a good 10 years ago too. I'm thinking of it this way: at least I know now, rather than later or worse, never. Good on you! Good luck and have fun on being a better you and not settling! You're very welcome! Cheers 🥂 😸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 11:14 PM
4

My naivety and kindness has taken a hit after him, but because of it I'm standing up for myself more and can spot BS a mile away. He was totally projecting, as he would offhandedly talk about trust and cheating, yet he had a history of 'being cheated on' by all his prior girlfriends. Uh-huh. Suuureeee... Cheers to you too, I raise a glass to more awareness and not putting up with NVM/LVM bullshit. (Also applies to friends and family, I've come to realize, as a consequence of being able to see th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 10:55 PM
7

Aww I'm sorry. That sounds like what was holding my ex and I together, looking back. Hindsight is 20/20. I fell into a deep depression and my stress levels were through the roof, so I feel you. That was shady of your ex; mine started doing similarly yet would look over my shoulder whenever I was on my phone and joke that I was texting my other boyfriend (it was my cousin 🙄). I'm glad you don't have to put up with his bullshit anymore. hug 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 10:50 PM
5

What a total douche canoe! I'm sorry that happened. I had similar things happen with my ex. Glad you're out of that relationship, sounds like was an ungrateful brat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:48 PM
3

Haha, same here when I finally got a PS3. The PS4 had just been launched 😹😅 Good times lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 02:20 PM
3

That tv example you gave sounds like my ex. Paid me no attention and we couldn't even game together because he had a different console.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 11:37 AM
3

Same here. I normally wait for better games than the post-launch titles and price drop. Usually a year of more. Besides, I've a backlog of games to still play anyway on PS4 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 11:33 AM
5

I feel this. Police didn't do jack shit when I was in high school, I got called a psychotic bitch behind my back (that I learned years later), and since it was my first boyfriend, due to how most of my peers and family didn't give a fuck and thought I was making it up, set the precedent for me "accepting" sexual abuse and rape for years to come from my future partners. Because of that experience, I had thought not being listened to when I said no, or was uncomfortable, or was being pressured/coe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:48 AM
2

Sounds like my Valentines day, except my ex didn't even know the correct date. He thought it was the 17th. Even then, I bought us chocolate, and he ate most of them like the selfish piece of shit he was. I got nothing for Valentine's day, and he forgot our one year anniversary, my birthday the day after, and a very important day after that (anniversary of my mother's death.) He wonders why I broke up with his NVM, narcissistic ass. 🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:58 PM
6

Applies to family too, I've found.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:38 AM
2

You can say that again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:57 PM
5

Yeah, it seemed like he thought his dick could do it all. Idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:56 PM
32

Oh man, I remember that one haha! I wish my exes listened instead of telling me what I like. Just learn what your partner likes, and for crapsake, listen to her! 🤦‍♀️ No amount of gentle guiding, suggestions or bluntly saying where to touch me, worked. They'd just go back to what they wanted to do. I never got off with many of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 06:50 AM
17

Yeah, I have no idea how he had exes after my experiences with him. Though... Maybe that is why lol 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 06:23 AM
26

Aww thank you! 😸 I definitely have a long list of things I DON'T want in a partner now, hahaha! Love you too! I wish the same joy for you as well~ 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:46 AM
82

Thank you! 🤗🐈 Funny thing, he could barely do oral without going, "So I know this technique..." that didn't even involve his tongue, but his finger, AND he gave up after 5 minutes. Only did it that one time, too. FAIL. Meanwhile, he'd hold back from coming so I would end up blowing him for an hour, all while my jaw ached. Grade A selfish asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:38 AM
33

Thanks, I'm glad he's an ex too. He was dumb as fuck, sorry not sorry. Him also being lazy as shit meant that my requesting that he look up how female reproductive bits work (since he didn't listen to me) got me a, "No, I forgot," when I asked if he did as I asked. I had, pre FDS discovery, ended up being his bangmaid mommy. The dude was a lost cause, I can't believe I put up with his various abuses for a year. 🤦‍♀️ I'm doing better now though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:28 AM
174

"Just ask me!", my dumbass narcissist ex said to me, after making me tear and bleed for the nth time because, "I didn't know you needed to be wet!" ...HOW 🤬🤦‍♀️🙄🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:17 AM
12

My frigging narc ex said that word for word, "I don't feel like I deserve you", after I had paragraph texted him the shit he wasn't doing that I had asked him 100s of times by then. Manchild, bye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:58 AM
7

^ all of this. Narc ex seemed to realize that I was actually leaving and not going to put up with his shit anymore so he tried to love bomb me again. Nah, man. I'm out ✌️ It took a while, but I'm not deeply depressed anymore now that he isn't sucking my soul and finances dry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:45 AM
3

Thank you! Yeah, I had that feeling about my ex but couldn't put my finger on it, and early on too! I wasn't really taught red flags, so those came up only towards the end of the relationship after I talked to friends (that he tried to keep me from doing) and my close cousin. Once I started researching, it all clicked. I learned about boundaries and red flags and how to not tolerate shit, even from friends and family. That list of traits, yeah, definitely ticked off near all of those. Ex even ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:19 AM
5

I visibly cringed and gagged a little looking at this. What the hell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 03:13 AM
9

Damn! I wonder what my ex's professor thought once I left him and stopped doing his work for him lololol How does that happen? He had openly admitted to me that he wished he took education, especially English classes, more seriously. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:24 AM
6

I'm not laughing at all, that was shit of him to do to you. As for my ex, I started talking to my close friends and cousin about what he had been doing, all of which he didn't want me to do. I did anyway, and my cousin said he sounds like he has narcissistic traits after all that I told her. When we broke up, and I discovered FDS as well as researched into what a narc was, I realized that he was one, albeit stupid af. Everything was about him, he wanted me to change to suit his tastes, he was wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:07 AM
15

Yes, narc ex nearly killed us, and I still have no idea why. "I don't know", he said. I should have left then. Funny thing, one of my "best friends" didn't see anything wrong with it, "People make mistakes! He was a new driver! Why would you threaten to leave over that!? Not cool, don't give an ultimatum!" ...... Did she not hear me say that I nearly died?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 11:05 PM
8

Man, same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:46 PM
34

Man, this hits. Pre FDS, I more or less wrote my ex's essays. He had the spelling, sentence structure and vernacular of a 10 year old. God, it's disgusting in hindsight. This, was on top of my own class work. (Edit: a typo) In fact, one of the things he wanted and put on the table to get me back after we broke up, was to be his tutor in any class he took next for college. Second chances, wanted to be friends, and I'm guessing, have his bangmaid mommy back and also be his tutor. 🙄🤢🤮🤬 Yeah, I peac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:45 PM
6

Yep, that happened to me the second I made my first comment post on FDS, something along the lines of "Same here lol". 🙄🤦‍♀️😹😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:31 PM
2

Sounds like my narc ex 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:26 PM
14

My narc ex also blew me off last minute on dates or even just me asking a day off to spend with him, to go hang with friends instead. His priorities were definitely not me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:19 PM
3

Man, me three! You're describing my ex in a nutshell too! I just don't know what he's up to or what he said regarding how we didn't work out. I don't care to know either lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:11 PM
6

Late to the check in. Been doing okay, busy working OT but I wonder if I'm getting burned out on it haha My coworker keeps getting me and a few others to sign up for it week after week. I didn't mind until I started to get stressed about it last week and this week. It's been two months lol Next week will be the last time I do 12 hour shifts. 😅 No romantic endeavors currently. How's everyone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 09:50 PM
13

Thinking back, I was called a psychotic bitch for my first rape by my supposed friends back in high school. It was my first boyfriend who did it, after we had been sexually active for a good year and a half. I wonder if that's why I wasn't believed, even by the police. Ex first bf had been joking about raping me in my sleep for fun. It probably doesn't help that I was still grieving the death of my mother, so a deep depression and no support from my father, much less the gaslighting, blaming and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:13 PM
4

Thank you! Sorry for the late reply, I just got home from work. Man, I feel that. I also have my own mental illness that I try to not let control me. My narc ex kept using his epilepsy as an excuse for... Not taking the bus early, therefore he told me "that's why I couldn't work/go to college!" 🙄🤦‍♀️ Thanks for the suggestion! I'll adopt it more--I've realized that even close "best friends since childhood" and close family don't mean shit. They've gotten dozens of strikes in my life, it turns ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:12 AM
1

Sounds like my first boyfriend in high school... 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:10 AM
6

That's a good idea, I think I'll adopt that. 😸 Your second paragraph hits right in the chest. It's so damn true. My ex couldn't even pick up after himself, so me throwing out his moldy gross cups he had laying around, in hindsight, was a bad idea. So was... Basically being his mom and bangmaid. Ughhhhh. I'm so glad I found FDS right around the end of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:39 PM
9

Hahaha yeah, pretty much. He was a shocked Pikachu when I dumped him. 😹 He wanted a second chance. I had discovered FDS by then and thought, "What, to give you more chances to not be an adult, much less a boyfriend. You didn't listen the first 100 times around, GTFOH"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:34 PM
18

I'd cook, then clean up everything after. Narc ex's idea of cooking was scrambled eggs and toast, or box mac and cheese. He'd not clean up after himself either. All the "I'll get to it!"s in the world, and I still ended up doing the cleaning for him. He'd then say, "See, you like cleaning!" Also applied to cooking, when he'd "try to help" then screw up something basic, and I'd step in to fix it. "SeE yOu liEk CoOkINg!" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:32 PM
9

This so hard, I feel it in my bones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:24 PM
1

Mine was a Sam. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:01 AM
4

Similar here. Since my ex was a covert (and luckily, dumb af) narcissist, as I later realized, his constant "I love you"s were complete bullshit and his hurting me during sex and "apologizing" for it, while simultaneously making excuses for why "he didn't know", finally made me leave. Among other things. I am glad you got out of that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:31 AM
5

First paragraph sounds like the FWB I had for 8 years, prior to my last relationship with the narc ex. We never got together and I was the one who broke it off. Dude admitted that he had the feeling that I wanted a relationship but didn't do anything about it. 😑😒🙄🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:38 PM
9

Mango is my favorite fruit, oh noes! 😹😹😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:36 PM
3

You and me both. I'm glad I did, too. High five to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:40 PM
42

My whole ass family is like this, as well as my childhood "best" friends it turns out. FDS helped me realize that I have been used as an emotional punching bag for far too long, not just in my romantic relationships. I'm sure if I were ever to call them out on it now, they'd just deny the emotional abuse they've put me through for the better part of 15 years. They already couch it in "but we love you!", "don't be angry!" and "why are you so butthurt?" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:02 PM
9

I've been going through my phone contacts, Facebook and Instagram friends and axing a lot of them. Some I haven't talked to since high school (15 years ago), others showed their selfishness and that they didn't appreciate me at all (even childhood friends), others were just inactive accounts. Feels good to cut the fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 01:59 AM
3

I grew up with being taught that shit, hands down. I'm so glad I woke up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:54 PM
4

I did this in my last relationship pre-FDS, and my ex would not eat more than a bowl or plate of what I'd make for us. He'd criticize my food and try to get me to cater to his tastes when HE barely cooked more than scrambled eggs and toast! Like... Quit drowning my Asian ethnic food in hot sauce and telling me my deceased mother's chicken recipe is BLAND. Asshole narc ex had no taste buds, I swear. Must have been all the hot sauce he'd put into everything I made. 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:53 PM
1

Holy crap, even if was a joke, that is not something to joke about! Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:40 PM
1

Good on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:09 PM
6

This hits close, since my NVM ex was just like this. He'd give empty apologies and continue to be a lay about do nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:46 PM
5

I feel this, and am right there with you. Cheers to us all, we're in this together! 🐈💕🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:54 PM
20

This reminds me of the recent ramen dinner date I had... He suggested that I go to his side of the Bay to watch movies/tv shows/anime at his house with take out, for our second date. The same idiot who didn't text/call for 5 days after our first date. Hahaha, blocked and deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:23 PM
5

This is gold 😹😹😹👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 10:16 PM
5

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:24 PM
4

I needed to hear this, since I was never told growing up. In fact, I was encouraged to be a people pleaser/put others first before myself, and yet be told that I mattered and to speak up more while friends and family simultaneously put me down, told me to shut up or walked all over me. Their advice did me WONDERS in my relationships up until now 🙄 Good times /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:21 PM
2

Jesus that's awful. I'm so sorry. I got the same excuses every time after. Horrible. Sending e-hugs 🤗💕🐈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:34 AM
9

Yeah, he kept using that excuse, and the typical "Just ask me (to do foreplay 🙄🙄🙄🙄)" crap. Not to mention that he'd not listen to what I told him got me off, he'd go, "So this technique I know...." that did nothing for me the one and only time he did oral.... Couldn't do it for more than 5 min. Meanwhile, he'd keep himself from coming when I blew him, so I'd be down there sucking for a hour. Too bad if my jaw hurts, amirite? 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Edit: He'd also "forget" to comply with a basic ass request of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 11:02 PM
31

That makes sense. Thanks for your other comment too. In my experience, this rings true. Lesson learned, I'll not make mention of my rape and numerous sexual assaults, by coercion or otherwise, since it's all led to the same shit: Assault, then the guy playing dumb about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 02:23 PM
6

Awesome, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:59 PM
11

Precisely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:58 PM
35

God how horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can relate as I've been coerced a lot, it's like clock work. I've come to the conclusion that my previous partners wanted to hurt me like the ones before them. Sending hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:57 PM
2

My ex nearly killed us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:49 PM
135

That bit about hurting you intentionally after knowing about your trauma... ........... "I didn't know you needed to be wet!" after I told ex that previous partners would shove it in dry and hurt me. 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:45 PM
22

Do you happen to have a link to it? It's not coming up for me when I search it. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:36 PM
27

Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions. 😹🤦‍♀️ I feel for that woman. Didn't want the kid, selfish father did, and now he's shock Pikachu faced that she doesn't want to be in the kids life? Not to mention, she OVER pays on child support. It's rare a guy pays full court ordered child support when it's the other way around, no? Also, lol, I guess he now knows how single mothers feel too. Nvm idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:29 PM
21

Looking back, I don't think I was ever actually asked out properly, even by my first (abusive) boyfriend in high school over a decade ago. Things would just happen, and I'd let it. Ughhh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:12 PM
3

I wasn't aware there was a difference. Edit: Waitttttt... Nevermind, I get it now 😹😅😅😅 Took me a bit lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:24 AM
2

My ex definitely did 😅 He was also a manchild, so that may explain it if the narcissistic part didn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:17 AM
45

At work, one new coworker was surprised to learn that I'm 33. He thought that I was 20 or less. I told him it wasn't the first time I've been told that, when I started the job 4 years ago 😹😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 12:20 AM
4

Sounds like my narc ex. He lived in a pigsty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 12:17 AM
5

Ewww, reminds me of my ex. Talked a big game, but couldn't even clean up his own room, much less maintain it for more than 12 hours after I did a deep clean one weekend for him (pre FDS) 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 10:45 PM
4

I am 🤗 Thank you. I'm working on being me again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 10:43 PM
2

You and me both. I wish I found this sub a decade ago, when I was in my early 20s. I'd have not put up with the crap that I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:29 PM
4

Thank you! I am sad to say, that I don't think they will, or at least, not for a long time. I hope for them, but they've already shown me that they don't value what I have to say, about my ex or otherwise. It's another reason why I am so grateful for my cousin. Stay safe too ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:49 PM
9

Cheers to leveling up and working to improve ourselves! 🥂🐈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:46 PM
3

I feel this, because the first time my ex came to my house (towards the end of our relationship and I had been desperately trying to save it, then gave up and dumped him lol), he offhandedly said, "Your house is small!" .....was that supposed to be a compliment? What a douche!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:35 PM
15

Man, I feel that. Never knew what a narc was until AFTER I broke up with my recent ex! What's worse is that my older and younger sister don't think he's a narc at all, only my closest cousin did and she's baffled that nobody saw it. I'm so lucky to have her as my best friend and cousin. 🐈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:57 PM
11

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:27 PM
26

I can relate to you, growing up with little to no self-esteem and not really being taught what a good relationship looks like. I've read a lot of horror stories on there, even before finding FDS. My God, knowing what I do now, post FDS, I can safely say that nearly all of my old relationships were similar to those on justNoSO. It's disgusting and shameful what I would put up with from exes, including sexual assault, emotional and financial abuse. Big yikes to my old self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:01 PM
2

Hahahaha! I have one at my own house and love it! Had it for a few years now! As for manchild ex, I dumped him back in July, so I am happily detached from his gross butt. Thanks 😸 Ah, edit to say: Ex almost never came over to my house in the whole year we were together. So I was the one going over to his place. I say "almost never" because he did, 3 or 4 times, towards the end of our relationship when I already had 1.5 feet out the door 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:49 PM
12

Man, it's like when I had to teach ex how to not use too much toilet paper to wipe his ass (because he'd complain about the "soft and strong tp" he always liked to get, clogging up the toilet)... You know what? He'd always look fucking stupid when I'd ask him what his preference was for things. Like the tp... He'd always have this stupid, blank high af look on his face and he'd nod and smile slowly and just... Uugghhh. Looking back, super unattractive... Vacuous comes to mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:40 PM
14

Gurlll we must have dated the same guy hahaha! 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:12 PM
12

My (narc) ex ticked off all of these, smdh. I'm glad I know what indicates red flags now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:11 PM
7

Hahaha, right?! Ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:52 AM
3

Aww thank you :3 Yeah, and it sucks since my love language is acts of service, so I'd be cooking, doing chores around the house/laundry/cleaning, etc, but he'd... sit on his butt playing COD, getting high, and watching the same 5 (literally) tv shows over and over. :/ That sounds like a nice idea! I think I'll have to do that :D Manicure or a new book, sounds good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 04:21 AM
1

Sounds like my first boyfriend in high school. Me being wet? Foreplay? Oral? What's that? Nah, put it in dry and make her bleed and tear on the daily. For 2 years. 🙄 Young and dumb, but jfc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:21 PM
4

I can count on one hand how many gifts my narc ex got me, and one that I actually wanted. One. And it's only because he straight up asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He didn't bother to notice or pay attention to what I liked at all, for the six months leading up to the holiday, like I did for him. He even got gifts from my family but didn't get shit for them because he "didn't know what to get them". Uhh.... ... A Christmas card? Chocolate? SOMETHING?! He certainly ate the box of Ferrero ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:58 PM
11

I'm currently working on doing similar things. Going through my wardrobe and donating clothes that are now too big for me after losing 20 pounds, getting back into reading (audio books ftw too!), spending time with my new kitten, exercising more, doing lots of overtime at work (to recover from the financial abuse left by my narc ex), saving up for a trip to Italy 😻, getting back to being ME. Not a depressed shell of myself. 😸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:26 PM
35

I feel you. 33 here and am not into the idea of having kids, no matter how much my friends and family tell me "oh you just haven't met the right guy yet!" and "don't say no until you try!" Uhh... No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:09 PM
5

It reminds me of narc ex sending a cat sweater to me because "he just wanted to be a nice guy", not taking into account that: 1) We're broken up 2) He didn't nix my address and instead, kept it like a moron 3) Doing the above was super uncomfortable to me since it wasn't like he asked, he just did it without permission 4) He didn't think keeping my address was a problem, post break up! I shut that shit down and told him to take screenshots of his Google maps history and show me (via text) that h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 08:56 PM
7

Sounds like you're describing my narc ex hahaha! Mine was also, lucky for me it turns out, really really dumb, so he didn't completely destroy me before I left his ass after a year and a month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:56 PM
3

What is with dudes like this? The recent date I had did similar before we settled on a time, the day before our ramen dinner date, looking back. Glad I blocked and deleted, but lesson learned. Aiyaaa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:47 PM
2

Same here, with my last relationship. He was also a narc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:29 PM
10

I concur. Serious discussions with the ex were met with... Him not taking action to learn and improve from the discussions had. "I'll change, I promise!", two seconds, two days later, he's still sitting on his ass, scoffing and going, "Ugghhh, why do you always do this/bring this up?!" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:27 AM
6

I feel this in my bones. Friends, family, ex SOs. All of them would just trample over what I was telling them, and insist that I was wrong/didn't know what I was talking about/could do x thing better/properly if I followed what THEY wanted me to do. It messed me up, and I am glad to finally realize that I don't have to stand for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:19 AM
2

Ahahaha! Perfect! 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 05:36 PM
1

Could I request that link as well lol? I'm curious! Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 05:35 PM
2

Oh god, reminds me of a brief drunken hookup at a friend's birthday party that I didn't even want. He didn't ask to touch or kiss me, and once he got it in, asked me repeatedly, "Are you coming?" .... Bitch, no! It was as bad as my narc ex TELLING me that I came because 'he felt it!' What a moron. I have a hard time coming with a partner. Guys don't listen when I tell them what gets me off, because apparently they know better than myself. Ex couldn't do more than 5 minutes of oral, once, in a wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 05:28 PM
1

Seeing that my ex basically lied about being a good cook, responsible, and mature on his OKC profile filled me with disgust. Edit: Sorry, seems the comment double posted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 05:22 PM
1

The dude sounds desperate and impatient. What if the lady was at work and he blew up her phone like this? Unreasonable to me. Also, lmao, he clearly failed to "make her" his girlfriend. What a yutz.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 12:23 AM
4

That sounds like the partner I had before my narc ex. Wasted 8 years of my life waiting to see if he'd commit to a relationship. I'm sorry you had to go through that and glad you are free! High five! 😸🖐️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 07:12 PM
1

I'm happy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 01:15 AM
12

Thank you. Unfortunately, I've had a history of this, and am only now starting to break the cycle. It seems that sexually abusive, selfish assholes was a bad baseline for my future relationships, since my first boyfriend and sexual partner in high school, was definitely that in hindsight. Lesson learned, finally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 12:57 AM
41

Same here, never again. My narc ex (ughhh, I feel like I am beating a dead horse, but that's where the wake up call of "This dude isn't for me" and realizing that I was worth more came in) apparently had just been fired from his job before dating me. He had "no money" so I stupidly, because I am a giver, paid for our first date. Yet, he had enough for weed. I paid again for our second date, a pizza and a movie (after he had canceled and rescheduled to hang with his friends... I now wish I had le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 11:45 PM
3

This reminds me of what I'd do when my ex was sick or had another seizure. But of course, he couldn't reciprocate even the bare minimum towards me. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:23 AM
4

Exactly this! My ex would spout about how he's so damn nice! He was an abusive narcissist. 😹😅🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:02 AM
2

You and me both. I swear, before deleting all my OLD accounts, I swiped no on dozens of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:01 AM
1

That reminds me of my ex boasting about his junk, or how responsible he is, or how people (somehow) automatically are wary of him just because he's tall (no, he's just an asshole), among other BS he wanted to impress me with. Yeah, talk about a liar! 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:00 AM
3

You and me both, as I spent my 20s doing similar things, only to undervalue myself. I'm working on not doing that now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:45 AM
2

Yeah, I get that and am perfectly fine with admitting that. I'm trying to unlearn things that I was taught, that I "had" to do to get a guy to like me, how to behave, and to "Give him a second chance! He's not that bad!" All taught by my very close aunts, and it's taken me until recently to realize that they were wrong, even if they did it with the best of intentions for me. Thank you very much for your help and specific advice! 💖 I do admit that I blanked on what to do at the end of the date wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:02 PM
2

Yeah, I'm new to it, but I am starting to see the red flags and/or low to no values that I never knew about before. Thanks! 🐈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:34 AM
3

That makes sense, thanks. I was also experimenting out of curiosity, to see how long it'd take him to reply or not. I'd have blocked and deleted him after 24 hours otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:02 AM
1

I'm reading it just fine. I'm aware of that rule and have seen it mentioned plenty in the comments. What is your solution to when a date shows themselves to be a LVM right at the end of the date, and thus the 50/50 occurs?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:52 AM
4

Ahahahaha! Man I feel that! It was gross and I'm glad I deleted my OLD accounts! 😹😹😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:53 AM
2

A recent date last Sunday went okay, though I honestly didn't have my hopes up due to it being Facebook Dating (and I have since deleted that profile too). We had chatted a little bit and he gave me his number without my asking. 🤷‍♀️ After the Sunday ramen dinner date (... That he went 50/50 on, for a $40 total meal), he didn't message me at all this week. So I blocked and deleted his number. I had been thinking of doing it after 2 days, but wondered if he'd really go THAT long with saying nothi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:52 AM
4

My narc ex never took one picture of me for the whole year we were together. Red flag 1 of many, turned out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 01:53 AM
28

My ex did the exact same shit but couched it as "Haha, I'm sorry, I forgot (for the millionth time 🙄)! I will do better next time!" So much for that, as he didn't do jack to improve or better himself. At the end, he basically outed himself to me, saying "I don't think I deserve you". Boy finally got something right: He didn't!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 03:55 PM
3

I feel this on a personal level 😹😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 10:45 PM
2

Ditto this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:28 AM
3

That sounds a lot like my own narc ex. I'm sorry you went through that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:28 AM
7

You sound like me, as I have had issues with depression that has led me to drop previously beloved hobbies, including reading, and I also tend to do some of the LVM hobbies. I'm trying to work on getting back into the things I loved doing since I was a child (art, reading science and medicine texts for fun) and I hope to be happy with myself again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:10 AM
21

That is awful, I am so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 03:46 AM
3

That reminds me of when my ex narc let my plant die under his watch. A lovely violet flower, that I had tended when we were locked down during the Shelter in Place. Once I was able to go home, the next time I saw him 2 weeks later, he laughed and "apologized" for forgetting to water the plant. It was already a pattern with him to laugh or half-heartedly apologize for anything I called him out on, that he promise to change and work to be better, but would then do jack all to fix it. I was already…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 03:46 AM
8

Hi! I'm relatively new here, but have been reading and deep diving into the posts and handbook here for the past few months. Recently started commenting more as well, though I think they're still being moderated. I am recovering from a year long relationship that I ended back in July. Guy was so bad he wasn't just a NVM, but a narcissist. He was emotionally and financially abusive, not to mention neglectful and honestly, really really dumb. Guy was incompetent, irresponsible and immature enough …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 05:14 PM
1

That sounds like me, except it was OK Cupid and Match. I've since canceled and deleted my accounts there, hahaha, since I wasn't interested in a good 99.5% of the men there. Most who would match with me were guys who had some combination of those gross, really close up fat face photos like in the cat FDS meme, would have their age set as 30 to 35 yet look like they're in their 50s (balding and all), be really unattractive, and/or of an ethnicity that I am just not attracted to. Additionally, the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:45 PM
11

I've been doing this lately too on OLD apps. At this point though, I've cancelled and deleted some of my OLD accounts since it feels like a waste of time. Many leave me hanging, even if a conversation was going well. Block and delete, then I was thinking like, "I don't have time for this" so I cancelled accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 05:33 AM
1

I feel this in my soul. My ex acted the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:25 AM
1

How fascinating to me! I think it rings true, as my experience with old exes, and even FWB, have not held a candle to even a mere crush I had on an Italian pen pal, and how he engaged with me in conversation, being attentive, and overall wonderful to talk with! While things didn't really go anywhere, we still chat as friends and I get more deep, meaning discussion from him than I do with anyone in my real life! A sad state of affairs, I think. Looks like I have a lot to level up on in my persona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:51 AM
2

All of this. I wish I had found this Subreddit before I had my most recent relationship that lasted a year, this June. I had spent so much time trying to get his lazy, irresponsible, immature butt to do basic adult things, like picking up after himself. Helping with chores, making a damn date plan! What a waste. I know better now going forward, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:06 AM
1

I am definitely finding that out currently, hahaha! I've passed on so many guys, that I ended up deactivating most of the accounts (OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel that I forgot I had, and Match). Not sure how to go about doing that with FB Dating. Definitely not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:15 AM
2

Oh man, are you me? My Narc ex was like this. Talking kids and wanting me to convince my sisters and myself to sell our family house so he could use the money to buy he and I a home up in Oregon. Another state entirely. 2 months in. He'd also tried to kill us, then burst into tears about it when I called his ass out on his reckless driving. New driver (he got his license while with me 🙄) or no, you do NOT friggin try to pass another car by moving into a non lane/sidewalk with parked cars and nea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:56 PM
2

This sounds exactly like my ex, an NVM. He even described himself as a "big kid" and me, not knowing about narcissism or anything like that at the time, didn't see what was wrong with it. I'm so glad I found this subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:34 PM
1

Man, same here. I'm glad to be rid of my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:39 AM
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