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RavenAva Archive

View 11 posts and 118 comments by RavenAva on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Eww. Talk about internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:42 AM
48

I love this idea! I have long wished it were more normal for friends to make a commitment to one another and build a life together like that, if they opted not to marry. There would be so many benefits to something like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 11:32 PM
31

The post is trying to encourage women to date women, if they have any little bit of attraction towards them. OP included lesbians in her post and u/LadyWizzard was just laughing because you typically don’t need to encourage lesbians to try to dating women or stop dating men. Although, there may be some closeted lesbians reading, in which case I hope this encourages them to come out or start seeing women if it is safe for them to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:55 PM
22

So true! This reminds me of a standup bit by DeAnne Smith: https://youtu.be/MXGRiHsvRz4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:27 PM
29

Isn’t ‘alone together’ just another name for parallel play? As in, what babies and toddlers do before they learn how to interact? https://www.whattoexpect.com/playroom/playtime-tips/what-is-parallel-play.aspx
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:01 PM
14

I hope you’re ok. I’m personally not an expert or anything, but if there’s anything we can do to help, I expect this community will. There’s a tremendous amount of both knowledge and compassion in this sub; please share if we can assist in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:01 AM
102

Thanks for diving into this topic deeper! It drives me crazy when men do this to me, and I appreciate the in-depth discussion. My dad is the worst about this and once I recognized it, I could never think of him the same again... just another typical LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:06 PM
4

For real. It’s to the point that I just know what his personality is going to be if he fits that demographic: shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:04 AM
9

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:50 PM
73

I always dread talking to my dad for this exact reason. The sheer sense of entitlement he has that his opinion deserves to be heard and respected is positively astounding. He has no end of opinions and constantly disregards people sharing their lived experience even though he has not had that experience. Some of his white-cis-het-boomer hot takes include: -If everyone stopped talking about racism, it would go away -He thinks businesses should be able to choose not to serve anyone for any reason,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:24 PM
3

So, u/Moira_Spice originally compiled it into a document (https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hccx6y/ive_compiled_the_whole_handbook_within_one_single/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) but it has been deleted. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:09 PM
5

Someone has already made a PDF of the handbook... I forget the username but I will see if I can find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:05 PM
7

Block and delete. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:10 AM
1

Still “practicing” folding laundry at 49, and just now realized his wife might appreciate some help with it. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:16 AM
5

Hey OP, I think you are supposed to hide the sub and user names if you are sharing something from another sub here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:33 AM
12

So much love for elderly cats and the owners who take good care of them! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 03:08 AM
36

This story reminded me so much of me and my cat (minus the ZVM). I have a senior cat that I am very close to. She is my best friend and absolutely saved me from my depression when I first adopted her. She’s 17 now and has some health issues that require daily prescriptions. I know some people would get rid of their cat or choose not to treat it, but there was never a question for me of giving her the best quality of life I can. We have traveled together on planes 3 times and she has not and will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:31 PM
123

You’re a slut/you’re easy. You consented to and enjoyed sexual intimacy. You’re a tease/you friendzoned me. You treated me with common decency and I assumed it meant you were interested. When I didn’t get what I wanted out of you I decided to shame you for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 07:56 PM
18

Thank you on the love languages thing! It drives me crazy that people will use their love languages to avoid having a full relationship. In a few toxic friendships I remember that I received a birthday gift from these ‘friends’ and that was nice, but it seemed like they were doing it to check a box, like the obligation is met now, and they didn’t want to spend time with me which is what I would have preferred. Don’t get me wrong, gifts are nice, but if they are replacing the actual time and effo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:51 PM
31

Same here. I work in an office environment and the vast majority of people in the office have spouses and kids, the whole ‘white-picket-fence-American-dream’ thing. No matter how much experience I have, I am treated like a kid and as though I am fresh out of school (I’m not). It’s made me consider wearing a fake wedding band and putting up some pictures of my nieces in my workspace at my next job, to see what happens if nobody knows I am single and childfree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:38 PM
46

If only we’d known it was this simple...how much heartache could we have been saved! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:42 AM
192

I really dislike how his solution to have a “successfully” monogamous marriage is to change the definition of cheating, i.e., lower your standards. He literally tells her that if you don’t define sexting another person as cheating, then your husband didn’t cheat... problem solved!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:25 AM
25

Oh man, that rings true. On my 23rd birthday (I was still in college), my mom called me to remind me that when she was 23 she was already married and had me, and strongly suggested I should be working on that (never mind the fact that she had been divorced twice and married three times at that point). I don’t know if it was the same year, but it was around that time that my grandpa sent me a birthday card with the handwritten message, “I hope you find a nice man soon.” And when I was in a relati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:40 AM
5

That’s really good advice! Thanks- I will definitely be implementing that. It has the added benefit of not being yes/no or one word answers. It’s brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:34 AM
32

That makes sense then why you might be “rebelling” against the standard your parents set. Truth be told, I am more WGTOW than anything. I dated casually in college and had two “relationships” though the longest lasted about a year. I haven’t dated in ages and I’m not looking to. In both those relationships I felt completely smothered. The men I dated were incredibly clingy and tried to be controlling. I still wanted time with my girlfriends and not being their unpaid therapist. This was pre-FDS …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:31 AM
24

I agree with you there. If that’s all people expect of someone you date, the bar is definitely too low, but I think a lot of times people ask simple questions because they are interested in your life and don’t know a better way to express that. It kind of reminds me when pregnant women are constantly asked the same standard questions about the baby and get sick of it quickly, which is completely understandable, but I think people are just trying to show they are happy for you and interested in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:10 AM
74

I wonder if the assumptions you mentioned are a byproduct of the majority of relationships people see, where once a friend starts dating, the new relationship becomes their only priority and they ditch all their other relationships. If you are friends with someone like that, you might unknowingly adopt those assumptions based on how you’ve always seen people in relationships behave. (That being said, I’m a strong advocate for not making a new relationship your whole life and forgetting your frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:21 AM
146

That was my first thought, that all the people agreeing with this guy would be the first to tell a woman she is insecure and unreasonable for not wanting to be with a man who watches porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:49 AM
3

No worries! It’s relatively new; I just wanted to flag that if the mods are reading. Definitely not a criticism of you or the post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:16 PM
11

I love the post, but I thought only text posts were allowed on Mondays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:48 PM
35

Block and delete. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:10 AM
26

Yes, you are stronger than you think. Now might be difficult, but you are going to come out the other side stronger than ever. That is so nice to hear the staff made the day special for everyone- that is so meaningful during a challenging time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:25 AM
8

Yeah, this is more what I meant. I can’t speak to the child support though... I know he paid it, but I don’t know how much or what kind of arrangement it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:24 AM
94

Yeah, that pissed me off. Imagine going to visit your dad on the weekend (the only time you see him) and getting stuck babysitting your step siblings (whether you want to or not) while he goes on dates instead of spending time with you. Whoops- as has been pointed out below, the kids would be half-siblings!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:00 PM
4

Exactly! Back when I was a Christian, my pastor made that point and it always stuck with me. For instance, if you don’t have money to donate to charitable causes, you can donate your time and volunteer in some way. And vice-versa , if you are very busy and can’t donate your time, you can donate money instead. And that idea totally applies to other contexts like relationships. As they say, time is money, so in many (not all) situations they can be used interchangeably. As a counter example, if I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:01 PM
16

That’s sweet of her and you! Those look delicious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:45 AM
181

Love this idea! Downside is not everyone might be ready to hear that message. When I was in college my best friend fell head over heels all the damn time, and naturally had her heart broken each time. Finally fed up with seeing her go through this, I put together a thoughtful and heartfelt care package (since she was on exchange in another state) with a letter explaining how wonderful she was and what kind of relationship she truly deserved and encouraging her to not settle or be heart-broken ov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:41 AM
4

That’s smart- it’s good you are still vetting before declaring him for sure HVM. It sounds promising though, and I hope this is as wonderful as it seems now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:31 AM
8

Oh wow! I look forward to your post- I always love reading about HVM! So happy for you, and what a beautiful, sentimental, and romantic gift! I think it’s so important to share about HVM as often as possible because the world is full of LVM, and stories like this are a guiding light of what to hold out for so you don’t settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:43 AM
11

I really like that tradition of creating an ornament together. That is really lovely and meaningful. And I’d absolutely rather have a thoughtful and personal gift that might cost less or be homemade than an expensive but impersonal gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:19 AM
9

Ok, thanks! I’m thinking Invisalign might be my best bet- glad to hear you like it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:10 AM
25

That’s awesome! I am in a similar situation- my teeth are messed up and I didn’t get braces as a kid. Did you go through your dentist, or can you order aligners online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:12 AM
44

How about socks? It looks like he isn’t wearing any. A long pair of socks would help protect ankles. I get dry skin on my feet and hands but I have never heard of ankles getting dried out like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:26 AM
20

Sign me up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:27 PM
46

I don’t have any advice to offer, but you’re an awesome cousin and your cousin is lucky to have you in her life. If nothing else, you can keep spending time with her and continue to be a positive influence and a trusted friend. It sounds like she needs that more than anything. Can you plan more things one-on-one with her, like the bike ride? Individual positive attention with a trusted older person can do so much for kids who are struggling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:07 AM
8

I carry mace with me that is attached to my key chain. Thankfully haven’t had to use it, but I prefer not to leave home with out it. I also carry a knife most of the time in my purse/backpack/pocket (which I also haven’t used).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:29 AM
13

Oof. Too true! This is something I have had an issue with in all my relationships- I want to give and I like giving. Even when it ends up hurting me, it is more effort to withhold because I was raised to be selfless and ignore my own needs and desires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:56 AM
92

This was an awesome read... looks like handbook material to me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:53 AM
142

So true! I’ve come to realize that I’m finally in a really good place. I’m happy. I like my job, my apartment, my friends, my pets, my hobbies.... why would I want to change anything and risk messing that up? I haven’t found an HVM in my life yet, and every time I have dated someone, I have been miserable. So far, to me it is not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:51 PM
3

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:42 PM
20

Love it! I have bachelor’s degrees in marine biology and mathematics and am applying to grad programs. I can attest to doing the math- it’s hard, but it opens doors. In my current job, people consider it a super power! 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:14 AM
6

My mom raised my sister and I alone, and her mom was active in our lives growing up. People frequently think of Valentine’s Day as being a romantic holiday but my mom and grandma always did something special for the two of us and each other, even though we were low income and things were tight. Usually a single rose bud in a vase, a card, and some chocolate, but it was enough to remind us we were loved. I really appreciate hearing how you celebrate with your daughter too- that sounds like a lot …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:18 AM
4

That’s fantastic— it’s like having an external intuition that is always looking out for you and not, as you said, socialized into doubting themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:26 AM
6

This album was my soundtrack as a teenager!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 09:07 AM
19

Absolutely... that’s terrifying. I’m glad you have a dog that can recognize dangerous men and keep you safe! I don’t have a dog, but I’d like one someday. I think more women should consider having dogs for this very reason. They’re intuitive and protective, and you are much safer walking with a dog than walking alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:00 PM
29

I actually know people who were friends with Israel Keyes before he got caught. One of them even house-sat for him while a woman’s body was in his shed (she found out much later). These are smart people, and they had no clue, and were completely shocked when he was arrested. Men can be masters of deception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 09:36 PM
5

I know?! I think he hated anything remotely intellectual and a movie with subtitles and slowly building tension that didn’t have major action scenes the whole time was just too much for his tiny brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 10:01 PM
3

Yes, he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:59 PM
3

Thanks for the validation, lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:59 PM
10

I have a similar birthday story... When I turned 18, my family asked where I wanted to go for dinner so I requested a new restaurant in a nearby city. Being mid-March in the upper Midwest, there was a major ice storm so my mom suggested we go to a local restaurant that was much closer. Ok, no problem, I am a reasonable person and there’s no need to be unsafe. When we get there my mom asks what I want to order and I tell her some kind of hot sandwich I wanted. She said, “No, we are going to order…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:58 PM
47

Wow, you’re exactly right! I have never wanted to voice an opinion on what to eat or what to watch, and I grew up as such a people pleaser. Even with close friends it is a struggle to identify what I want when asked because I think I have that underlying need to make sure everyone else gets what they want first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:31 AM
88

This reminds me of the last guy I dated. One day we were hanging out and he asked me if I wanted to watch golf. I thought he was joking because I have never met anyone who thought watching golf was fun, so I started laughing. (Apologies to any golfers or golf aficionados here). Turns out it wasn’t a joke and he didn’t have a sense of humor about the situation; he got grumpy about his poor hurt feelings because I laughed at golf. Not missing out on anything there! With the same guy, I picked a mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:57 AM
93

1) You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of for the things that were done to you without your consent. Period. Full stop. Anyone who tries to make you feel ashamed is a no-value person and doesn’t deserve to be in your life. 2) Everyone has a past. Everyone has done things they are ashamed of. The question is, do you let it define you and determine your future choices or do you learn from it and grow into the kind of person you want to be? It sounds like you are taking the time to grow into …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 11:33 PM
3

Thanks for this; you explained it perfectly. I remember back to my first relationship when things started getting physical. When I didn’t want to do anything he shamed me for being a prude and pressured me into doing what he wanted. When I did want to be physical, he would enjoy it and later shame me for being too “easy”. Most of us used to be “pickmes”; that doesn’t mean we were inherently less valuable. Learning to stop being a “pickme” is about learning to recognize your own self-worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:50 AM
15

I hadn’t seen that- wow, that is creepy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:06 AM
92

Remember Mrs. Doubtfire? Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:28 AM
11

I was really sad about WGTOW. I love this sub and I love their community too, and I’m sure there are more women who overlap both subs. I have learned so much from FDS, not just in regards to dating, but in expecting and enforcing respect for me, but I am not actively dating and don’t expect that to change, so I like WGTOW as well. I posted something there inspired by something I saw in FDS, that was incredibly relevant to WGTOW, but got so much snark for daring to idk, belong to both subs? Dare …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 10:25 PM
5

The boyfriend who threw out a culturally significant item because he thought it was “gross”: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:18 AM
27

I wouldn’t bother with the smiley faces or emojis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 11:25 PM
2

Excellent! I am working on getting set up and will message you when it’s ready to go. If anyone else is reading this and interested, let me know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:07 PM
1

Hi ladies! I know I am late to this post but I was searching for “mature FDS” and found this. I was wondering if there is any interest in starting a new subreddit for FDS over 30. I have learned so much from FDS, and enjoy it, but I’d like to have a community for those of us who are more mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:29 AM
32

This is why consent needs to be enthusiastic! If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:03 AM
72

Think of the morals of the stories kids hear: -if at first you don’t succeed, try again -slow and steady wins the race -never give up Etc It doesn’t have to even be in the context of romantic stories. Over and over again we teach kids to try hard and be determined and persistent and they can do whatever they want. And that’s all fine and good, unless what you want is another person. Then all those lessons don’t apply and need to be unlearned, and nobody is teaching kids that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:32 PM
22

Feeling called out! I’ve definitely had one of those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:53 PM
129

Amen! So many men don’t learn to respect women’s decisions. Saying “no” doesn’t mean try to negotiate or keep persisting until she gives in because you keep harassing her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:28 PM
15

I don’t think you need to bother dignifying their questions or accusations with a response. As the comment above says, “K” is sufficient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:45 AM
5

Yes, you said it perfectly! I feel the same about those things!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 08:04 AM
23

I don’t have an official diagnosis yet but am in the process of getting help and likely am not neurotypical. The men in my life growing up and the few men I have dated were LVM, and I have had minimal exposure to HVM in any context. I love reading FDS and have learned a lot, but I am also happily WGTOW. Edit: for those of you who were recently diagnosed, can you share what the process was like for you and what made you seek help? I’ve been feeling really alone and overwhelmed. Thanks for startin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:04 AM
5

Hi mods, Can we consider removing posts that are aimed at male lurkers? The first two rules are that this sub is by women and for women, and that all advice should focus on maximum female benefit. Making posts to yell at male lurkers is feeding the trolls by making our sub about them and is not focused on the benefit of women. We all know there are trolls and lurkers; there is no need to encourage them by wasting attention on them. It’s also pretty low-effort and doesn’t involve any strategy, ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:29 AM
6

Agreed, with all of the above!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:25 AM
6

I love seeing strategy, philosophy, and good articles. Memes are fun too, in moderation. I enjoy seeing screenshots of other subs, because I think they are useful to learn from, but again, in moderation. I personally don’t care for screenshots from OLD and texting. I know it’s low-hanging fruit to point out LVM/LVW, but I love coming to this sub to be encouraged and interact with other HVW. Consistently seeing those screenshots is like having a sub filled with LV people and I come here to get aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:24 AM
9

I’m thinking they fall in the same category as gamers and should be avoided:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:26 PM
9

Another FDS proverb!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:24 PM
56

Good point...wouldn’t put it past him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:33 AM
16

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:27 AM
26

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:02 AM
185

Thankfully the comments seem to be supporting OP and telling her she can and should have boundaries about things that make her uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:32 AM
119

FDS Proverbs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:26 AM
8

Same here- I found about about FDS because it was being disparaged in the comments of some post. I checked it out, read the handbook in one sitting, loved it, and subscribed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 10:27 PM
21

Truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:33 AM
204

Oh man, does this hit home! I haven’t dated in years, but the last two relationships I was in, I felt like the men were looking for someone to fill the position of wife and it didn’t matter too much who they were. I was kind and agreeable and I think that’s all they saw. They didn’t get to know me as a person or show any real interest in getting to know me on a deeper level, but they wanted a wife. (This was all pre-FDS, btw.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:27 AM
50

Excellent point- thanks for sharing! I especially loved the bit about reconsidering yourself versus reconsidering your friendship with that guy. That was a really powerful way to frame that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:03 AM
27

Quick update- I found the post and messaged the OP with the link to this post. She messaged me back and said she was glad for all the support here, that it solidified her decision to leave him, and she will be joining FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:48 AM
5

Ugh. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:30 PM
39

Has anyone messaged her to share all the love she’s getting over here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:35 PM
26

Already did, and blocked chats too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:31 PM
24

Absolutely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:38 PM
1041

I’m sad she’s doubting herself. She probably needs to lose some “friends” as well. That was absolutely the right move and definitely took him and his ego down a few notches! Blowing up her phone...who’s clingy now? Also, why is it acceptable for him to be condescending and make fun of her in front of all their friends? She’s not missing anything. Edit: After posting, got a NVM trying to chat and telling me she was overreacting. My first one! I feel like I’ve been initiated into something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:24 PM
34

So true! My last relationship, the NVM kept “jokingly” complaining about how awful it was to date me. For my birthday, he asked me what I wanted, and I told him that I wanted flowers. I told him exactly what I wanted and after giving them to me complained about “all the shopping” he had to do for me that day... he literally just bought me the flowers I had picked out. Absolutely don’t waste your time with men who complain (joking or not) about spending time with you or doing the bare minimum. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:35 AM
19

The Alaska club has a women-only gym in Anchorage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:28 AM
2

Here it is: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/flair_guide?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:54 PM
2

I think that happens when your account is under a certain age. I remember reading it somewhere; must be in the subreddit info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:53 PM
1

Yes, after I posted this I did get my flair. I wasn’t approved for the website, probably because I have a minimal social media presence and it’s hard to verify anything. I respect FDS’ right to thoroughly vet who has access to the website, but my privacy is more valuable. Anyway, yes, it is discouraging to miss out on the conversation but I guess the only way to get a flair is to keep posting and commenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:03 PM
32

Hey Mods, Thanks for the updates and changing the process. I’m relatively new here and don’t comment a lot in general, but it was getting discouraging to not be able to fully participate in a community I have learned so much from. I understand my comments and posts will still be reviewed, but I’m glad to hear there is no longer the process of messaging to ask for flair to be assigned!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:09 AM
17

I can’t handle the lack of punctuation and terrible writing. I personally weed out people if the first impression they give (via social media, OLD, or texting) is that they are uneducated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:35 PM
2

Count me in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:39 PM
2

Glad to hear it! This community has been wonderful, so definitely reach out for support if you need it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:57 PM
9

Where is this text from? Is it the Lundy Bancroft book?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:19 PM
2

This made me laugh because I often say of the men in my area that owning a big pick up truck is an acceptable substitute for a personality. Apparently it’s the gym for other guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 12:20 AM
2

I agree that you shouldn’t be put in that position in a professional setting. It’s not your job to provide emotional support for your boss. In a personal setting, using this question should help: “Do you want to talk about solutions or do you just need to vent?” Commonly, people want to provide answers to loved ones experiencing a difficult time but the end result is that you come across as condescending because the person could have come up with those solutions on their own, but are currently i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 11:55 PM
7

Love it! Way to capture the essence of FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 11:37 PM
2

I wondered for a second if I wrote your comment! I have the same issues and as an adult have had to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, but family is the worst! Luckily I have rid my life of most of the toxic and LV people and surround myself with HV friends now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 11:33 PM
6

Same here! I’ve been mostly lurking and enjoying the content because I don’t post much on social media anywhere. I messaged the mods for a code for the website, and hope I can get one because I really love this community!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 11:17 PM
4

That’s a really good idea to look for that as a flag. I don’t date much, so I’m curious— is it common to keep in touch with exes? I never have; it just seems like the best way to end things and our lives end up going different directions anyway. And ultimately, if you decide not to be with a person, there is something about them you don’t want in your life, right? So do you think there is any benefit to staying in touch with an ex at all?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:24 AM
34

I just watched the Oprah show on “The Gift of Fear” and the author said something like, “When a man says no, it’s the end of the discussion. When a woman says no, it’s the start of a negotiation.” That’s exactly what happened here- you said no and he thought he could “negotiate” his way into getting what he wanted instead of just dropping it. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hgdnje/please_watch_author_of_the_gift_of_fear_on_oprah/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_nam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 02:31 AM
7

Just watched it and it’s got me looking back at scary situations I’ve been in and recognizing when I felt something wasn’t right and how I have a habit of ignoring it. Definitely going to read the book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 11:48 PM
7

I love it! This prank made me so mad on her behalf...she needs to get out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:56 PM
2

Love this song!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 03:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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