| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 20 | Online First Dates - Are Guys Disadvantaged on the First Date Itself | Escalation & Calibration | SeaofCrags | /r/seduction | 09/11/20 06:59 PM |
| 5 | Rushing Physicality and Sexuality Prematurely in Dating - A Question | Escalation & Calibration | SeaofCrags | /r/seduction | 13/07/20 01:47 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | In a RutYeah man have slipped into a bit of one myself recently - it's a bit different for me though as I believe it's firmly rooted in online dating. I can meet girls at parties, flirt, chat shit, give off great vibes, have them hugging me and saying they like hanging out with me etc. - last one was two weeks ago and I came away from it feeling like a social baller. But then I met a girl last night via online dating and it felt so much more difficult because you can't just live in the environment or mo… | /r/seduction | 20/12/24 03:31 AM |
| 9 | Girls assume I'm a playerIt's absolutely better to look like a player rather than not one, unless it's a fuckboy vibe you're giving, which is usually due to your behaviour with women and screwing them over. In the meantime, continue to increase your value as a person by developing your personal interests, hobbies, etc. Add more strings to your bow, doing so will increase your draw, and either by the value these girls perceive of you, or your player vibe, they will want to get with you at some stage. | /r/seduction | 27/10/24 10:22 PM |
| 0 | A guy asked to do night game with me and I wish I didn’t agree.Nah, I've coached from complete beginners through to national teams (most recently last Summer), tryouts are for the upper end. Only people who don't understand coaching, how people learn, or how to motivate, come to the conclusion that people are uncoachable. Even with the most basic skillset/ability people can be coached, but it has to start from a lower level and a more basic proficiency. The coach does have to determine to themselves whether they're ready/willing to take it on though, as it … | /r/seduction | 22/10/24 11:24 AM |
| 14 | A guy asked to do night game with me and I wish I didn’t agree.So you clearly know what you're doing in terms of meeting people and girls, the guy clearly didn't. But I suppose this is also a good learning opportunity for you, that if you are taking someone as poor with interactions and girls out with you, perhaps there's easier levels prior to simply approaching and starting with groups of 3-6 girls. In coaching sports you learn this, that it's a bad idea to simply dump the team into advanced tactics without the prerequisites in terms of low level skills +… | /r/seduction | 21/10/24 12:17 AM |
| 1 | A Girl Started To Act DifferentA girls affection and interest changes as frequently as the wind, you have to understand that, and not feel the need to chase when they pull away. She could very well be fine and normal again soon, as long as you didn't do anything stupid. | /r/seduction | 14/10/24 07:46 PM |
| 2 | Is it possible to recover from cringy beta insecure texts?I'm by no means an expert on anything we're talking about, but have life experience, and will give you my thoughts on this. So there's a bit of nuance here, and funnily enough a lot of it comes back to whether your behaviour is results oriented or a natural one. A genuine comedian gets girls because it demonstrates their natural charisma and fun; an overdone and forced comedian that's trying to entertain the group, does not. If you're forcing humour constantly, trying to drive a laugh out of peo… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Is it possible to recover from cringy beta insecure texts?Yep. And you're so focused on trying to get her, you'll start overthinking your behaviour, more than likely leading to not fun interactions for either of you, her seeing through it and getting further turned off, and you feeling disappointed when your overthinking doesn't deliver the result you wanted. Embrace the chance to completely forget this girl now, take the pressure off yourself in trying to get her, and look forward to progressing yourself with other girls and other fun interactions whe… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 08:48 PM |
| 3 | Is it possible to recover from cringy beta insecure texts?Go away from her, and completely legitimately remove her from your head. That is ironically the only way. Your stock has fallen with her, she doesn't view you as a commodity, and so you need to go away, stop giving her your presence, and work on developing yourself, your game, and meet other girls. In some time the dynamic may be reformed, and you'll have learnt how to get with girls properly, but anything other than that in the meantime is just going to feed into results focused behaviour and m… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 08:36 PM |
| 2 | I'm confused, am i doing this "seduction" right or wrong?The idea here is not to get into the situation to begin with, and if you are, you need to be confident in your interactions/engagement with women so that they're not ending up with a free rental. I wouldn't say you should suddenly pull the plug and get up and leave if you do find yourself in such a situation as that would be quite jarring/incongruent, and the aim here is to be with women one on one with the opportunity for you to tease, have fun, and eventually escalate to closing the deal shoul… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 01:40 PM |
| 3 | I'm confused, am i doing this "seduction" right or wrong?I would advise not playing a game in order to play hard to get, but just be a little less willing to go into cuddling, romantic relationship moments with a girl that you're not in a relationship with. Think about it, it's like you're letting the girl rent the car without paying anything, why would she want to buy it when she's already getting all the privileges? And then at the same time she's already becoming familiar with you which is reducing the excitement/intrigue factor. Or as a different … | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 09:37 AM |
| 2 | I'm confused, am i doing this "seduction" right or wrong?So, it sounds like you're failing to pull the trigger with these girls, and then just giving them the validation they want anyway. The fact that you're letting them cuddle in your arms, etc, without anything happening, is giving them everything they want without withholding anything of yours. At that stage, they know they have you, and they don't need to do anymore. It's essentially friendzoning yourself by not being able to build the sexual tension or close the deal. Could you imagine James Bon… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 01:50 AM |
| 2 | Nice guys finish lastThis. Girls regularly brag about the nice stuff, they want that often unless they're toxic or have low self esteem, and as long as you're not doing it out of neediness. My last GF used to brag to all her friends anytime I got her something considerate, or was thoughtful. The desperation is definitely the killer, which is why you need to have enough interest in life, be involved in communities etc, so you're not pining after girls, and they're pining after you instead. | /r/seduction | 07/10/24 10:36 PM |
| 2 | How do I destroy the “friendly vibe”You're right. A younger me used to get caught in that, fearful that a girl might be creeped out by the sexuality and flirtation, but you really gotta realise there is nothing bad that can happen if you do engage in the dance, the literal worst thing that can happen is if you're too afraid to even try, which is a self defeating prophecy. | /r/seduction | 06/10/24 09:51 PM |
| 1 | How do I destroy the “friendly vibe”I'd say even hold off on the kiss for as long as possible; part of chemistry and excitement is the delay, if you can tease, flirt, have fun, and feel the sparks, delaying the gratification of the kiss can drive it to new levels again. Don't target objectives, it's about priming the energy, engaging in the dance of seduction, and controlling yourself in it while she gets lost in the excitement. | /r/seduction | 06/10/24 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Overall PrincipleThis is a great post. How does it marry to Mark Manson's stance re being as transparent about interest as possible i.e. vulnerable, though? | /r/seduction | 04/10/24 08:20 PM |
| 5 | I’m so alone (and horny)Oof this goes hard AF. | /r/seduction | 18/04/24 06:14 PM |
| 2 | Being calmWhat’s probably catching you mentally is a performative anxiety, where when they approached, you felt like you needed to impress them or dance like a monkey. You leaving is fight or flight because you felt unprepared and felt like you were in trouble. The fact you say you don’t have the same issue when you’re approaching indicates similar, that in those scenarios you’ve had chance to prepare your performance and thus aren’t as anxious. The trick is a mindset switch, where you’re no longer puttin… | /r/seduction | 02/06/21 05:05 PM |
| 2 | My 3 year dry spell ended last nightHaha ok, this isn’t that serious, we’re discussing. I do understand your point, that you like the connection before going on a date, but I think you’re interpreting my alternative offered perspective as a form of discrediting yours. I mean your comments to other posters outlines how of those you were recently dating you prefer the guy who texted every day, and also that you “want to use text to build a connection” prior. I’m just offering the perspective to those comments that it’s not that tena… | /r/seduction | 05/05/21 10:01 AM |
| 6 | My 3 year dry spell ended last nightYeah I understand thats your perspective as a woman and appreciate that, I’m just offering the counter perspective as a guy for why guys mightn’t text lots before a date with someone they haven’t met. While it’s nice for you and you like it, it’s not very economical when considering how very flaky online dating is in general. I understand you like the idea of them thinking about you and texting daily - unfortunately realistically this is way too much investment for most guys for what has very mi… | /r/seduction | 05/05/21 09:15 AM |
| 5 | My 3 year dry spell ended last nightI think while yes, a guy texting loads is ‘nice’ for you, that dynamic doesn’t offer proper balance for modern online dating and is probably not so realistic or truly fair for a lot of guys. Realistically, with the number of guys a girl can easily match with in online dating, it is not feasible for all guys to compete by writing essays and investing, when at the drop of a hat (as you’ve alluded to yourself in another comment), they can easily be replaced. Connection is built in person, mobile ph… | /r/seduction | 05/05/21 12:20 AM |
| 180 | My 3 year dry spell ended last nightFull agree on the cutting texting. My chump friends believe it’s necessary to always be in contact before meeting, I’m like ‘lolnope’ - use it to build some rapport and comfort initially so she’s happy to meet you, but don’t try and build anything substantial with it. | /r/seduction | 04/05/21 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Am I friendzoned or is she paying hard to get?That’s fine, but be wary of being taken for granted if you’re going to behave like a friend, rather than a commodity. It sounds like you’re a bit more invested than her, she’s picking up on this and starting to lead you on. Remember this is a dance, not a boulder up a hill, she has to meet you with the same energy you’re giving out in order for things to work. | /r/seduction | 20/04/21 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Am I friendzoned or is she paying hard to get?She’s fucking with you, not in a good way. When you asked her to hangout, did you ask her on a date? Did you even say a specific day? Right now it appears you’re dancing around actually biting the bullet and she’s just enjoying knowing she has you if she wants. | /r/seduction | 20/04/21 12:01 AM |
| 5 | Doesn't wanna go out but matches me again on tinderPlaying games, wants attention and to keep her options open. Move on. | /r/seduction | 18/04/21 12:41 PM |
| 3 | People will make time for those that they want to see.Yeah self-worth is pretty fundamental to being successful in dating, it’s probably the biggest mindset shift for people that have gone from being unsuccessful to successful in dating and with the opposite sex. Maintain self-worth, but stay humble. Always good to be PSA’d that you’re not a dancing monkey or that you need to jump through hoops. | /r/seduction | 27/03/21 12:44 PM |
| 5 | Should you chase...ever?To answer your final question, persistence is attractive as long as it’s done with a devil-may-care attitude and she’s not disrespecting you. It shows you’re interested, are confident to go after what you want, but have options and aren’t needy or dependent on her to be happy, and if she were to be rude to you or not worth it you’d be ok dropping her. Chasing is the opposite, it’s pursuing a girl with an absolute NEED for her to like and validate you, regardless of how she’s behaving or treating… | /r/seduction | 01/03/21 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Feeling sad latelyIf you don’t wallow, and fully embrace pushing the boat out then yes, it’s 100% true. People with introverted/awkward tendencies have far more a shell to break than extroverts, so when they finally do it can be spectacular, imo. But it does take far more courage and willpower initially. | /r/seduction | 23/02/21 11:54 AM |
| 4 | Feeling sad latelyMy man, you now need to come out of your shell and start getting involved in clubs, sports, communities, any social group available with an open mind, that’s the biggest benefit college can provide, not just a degree. I was like you when I started in college, in my shell, not good with girls, a bit anxious in general, lonely, not very committed to myself, lost. I joined some college clubs in my first year because I needed to for my own well-being, both my parents pushed me to, and it was the bes… | /r/seduction | 23/02/21 10:05 AM |
| 2 | Feeling sad latelyThat’s fine, but not really what OP is experiencing right now, probably needs a bit more reassurance than taking blind faith in a stranger blankly telling him he’s okay. | /r/seduction | 23/02/21 09:55 AM |
| 1 | Make her feel...I’m down for sic fucs, sign me up! | /r/seduction | 19/02/21 07:19 PM |
| 1 | Make her feel...I thought the first letter of each heading was gonna make a clever acronym | /r/seduction | 19/02/21 06:00 PM |
| 1 | What is ‘the spark’? Is it just chemistry? Is it something else?Ah yeah I get you, but there is an early interaction element which definitely factors also surely? Like when you meet a new girl, or there’s mystery and tension and her interest goes up during the early seduction - if you’re too available or a bit too chummy it kinda harms that right and she’ll think of you platonically rather than sexually? Why I’m asking is how can a girl who I’ve always had on and off jealousy and history of kissing, liking eachother etc, now feel no ‘spark’. Maybe because we… | /r/seduction | 11/02/21 12:47 PM |
| 1 | What is ‘the spark’? Is it just chemistry? Is it something else?Lol F for me in that case. Yeah I mean I personally don’t follow a ‘spark’, I’m either interested and like the person or not, and that’s what fuels a relationship for me - but perhaps in this scenario it’s tension and desire? I’m thinking being too available or platonic might’ve been my downfall in this context but I want to understand what people think the notional ‘spark’ is. | /r/seduction | 11/02/21 12:35 PM |
| 1 | What is ‘the spark’? Is it just chemistry? Is it something else?Ok so by that definition hanging out platonically or being too available before trying dating would destroy chances of a spark? | /r/seduction | 11/02/21 12:33 PM |
| 2 | Call her out, or play it cool? Theory question.I love how strongly you advocate for self respect, your write-up is a great reminder! From the above, hypothetically then, if I’m dating a girl but she’s not giving as much interest as I am or texting as frequently etc, the right response is for me to cool the jets and let her try a bit more? It seems kind of obvious when typed out really, I guess it’s just the anxiety to pursue and resolve is a quite strong emotion. | /r/seduction | 10/02/21 02:51 PM |
| 2 | Call her out, or play it cool? Theory question.Powerful answer regarding self respect. So at what stage do you think its necessary to call out bad behaviour in dating? Never? Just look for someone better always? I guess personally I’d usually continue dating other girls to prevent oneitis or to keep options, with covid it’s difficult and also I personally prefer to not rely on dating apps so tricky meeting new people atm. | /r/seduction | 10/02/21 02:07 PM |
| 1 | Fuck this seduction bullshit, man! Fuck it.Yep, but that’s what works for them, and from your description is not what’s going to work for you, so read models. | /r/seduction | 24/01/21 01:39 AM |
| 1 | Fuck this seduction bullshit, man! Fuck it.Read models, don’t play games. | /r/seduction | 24/01/21 01:34 AM |
| 2 | Facebook Date to Hotel F*ckingMade it through, biggest thing I learnt is that paragraphs are important. | /r/seduction | 18/01/21 11:32 PM |
| 15 | Is models still a good book for modern times?Models? Be completely honest to yourself and to her, and attraction will follow. Not all girls are for you, nor are you for every girl, but if you’re true to yourself and honest in your ambitions to life, not just seduction, the connections you inevitably create with girls will be the best they can be. | /r/seduction | 17/01/21 01:45 AM |
| 7 | Is models still a good book for modern times?Ah I can’t recall, just remember there were loads of different ‘do x and y if she does z’ style books, which really are just forms of manipulation masquerading as seduction. Neill Strauss is an example, former pickup artist who realised what he was espousing wasn’t healthy for himself or his students and renounced his ways. One key thing to remember about seduction is that it’s a dance, which is how Models approaches it. Whereas a lot of instructional books out there treat it as a boxing match, … | /r/seduction | 17/01/21 01:42 AM |
| 5 | Is models still a good book for modern times?Probably the most applicable book in my opinion, it’s timeless. Just finished the audiobook for the third time in October. All other seduction guides that came out since the early 2000s when the market was saturated are relatively redundant though in comparison, seeing as they thought non-personally sustainable methods of seduction which were ultimately debunked and declared not worth it. Though there are the odd nuggets of knowledge in them here and there. | /r/seduction | 16/01/21 11:38 PM |
| 6 | Talking to a girl. Dm’d her good friend accidentally. Need advice asapPlay it off, make a joke about it and then change topic and don’t reference again. Water off a ducks back. | /r/seduction | 22/11/20 08:02 PM |
| 1 | How friend-zoney does this sound, is it worth pursuing, and how?Friendzone isn’t really a thing, its simply unrequited attraction. You can occasionally hit her up only if you can setup logistics for a date, but right now it sounds like she’s not that interested, she’s told you as much. Don’t keep contacting her, don’t try and keep her interested, don’t chase her as it’ll only harm any intrigue left and honestly, it’s a lot of investment for someone you’re not sure you’ll hit it off with in person anyway. Work on yourself and your interests and maybe down the… | /r/seduction | 16/11/20 10:27 PM |
| 1 | Online First Dates - Are Guys Disadvantaged on the First Date ItselfHola my man. Yes, I know what you’re saying in terms of controlling the setting - honestly I’m pretty attentive to those kind of details (perhaps bordering on manipulative), seating, location, noise levels, sit beside not across, open body language, etc. I have a few go to spots and a plan always ready, not just showing up with my dick in my hand, excuse the phrase! In terms of conversation - on the good dates it flows, banter, 50/50 conversations, her asking about me, me asking about her, jokin… | /r/seduction | 09/11/20 08:27 PM |
| 6 | Online First Dates - Are Guys Disadvantaged on the First Date ItselfI dunno about getting my nipples pierced but I’ll have some of what you’re smoking my bro | /r/seduction | 09/11/20 08:05 PM |
| 5 | Going Batshit Crazy from Covid: Are Escorts a viable option?“Month long dry streak” - cute. | /r/seduction | 09/11/20 12:36 AM |
| 4 | Why do some people struggle with keeping a conversation going thru text when they have no problem keeping one going in person?For some people, including myself, its way more about the micro-interactions and human engagement than the topic, texts don’t provide that and only are a means for logistics and transferring information. | /r/seduction | 26/10/20 12:05 PM |
| 2 | How to know if she is still attractedThis comment should be taken only in the scenario where he is playing it ‘too cool for school’ imo. Otherwise, if he has shown his attraction to her and expresses interest in seeing her, why is it now suddenly his responsibility to also initiate all texts? But otherwise yes, he has to express his interest or at least show it. | /r/seduction | 23/10/20 12:15 PM |
| 36 | How can I tell if my best friend wants to fuck?Man. She wants it. | /r/seduction | 10/09/20 12:01 PM |
| 1 | Rushing Physicality and Sexuality Prematurely in Dating - A QuestionI had a quick scan of it just now. I respect that you wrote that much on first dates, but as someone quite analytical and overthinking in general, I prefer not to follow guides where possible for fear of getting locked into inaction and anxiety over the process. So sticking to gut feelings and reacting in the moment just makes me feel less stressed about dates. In terms of the kissing, yeah thats fair enough, separating PDA from escalating is good advice. I think by default I’ve always lumped th… | /r/seduction | 14/07/20 10:54 PM |
| 1 | Rushing Physicality and Sexuality Prematurely in Dating - A QuestionA fair point. But is it right to equate natural confidence with kissing, and that if you don’t rush to kiss you’re insecure? I’ve a friend who doesn’t generally kiss during the date, only waits until the girl goes back to his place before doing it. | /r/seduction | 14/07/20 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Rushing Physicality and Sexuality Prematurely in Dating - A QuestionTo what end though? Just to sexualise and try to push to sex on the first date? To try and establish a connection? I also believe that depends on the demographic and which platform you’re using also right? Like I think tinder gets different results to those saying “Looking for Relationship” on Hinge, but that’s probably kind of irrelevant to my query regarding the escalation of kissing. | /r/seduction | 13/07/20 03:24 PM |
| 4 | What is a better mindset Optimistic or Indifference?You can be optimistic and outcome independent at the same time. What you’re calling the “fuck it” attitude, is being independent of the result of the date i.e. non-needy. At the same time, people will respond to you being positive i.e. good energy and not down-trodden. Combining the two is what often makes someone attractive i.e. being a positive individual who has a good energy and enjoys life, content with themselves and being non-needy in terms of expectations when dating someone, happy to be… | /r/seduction | 13/02/20 08:52 PM |
| 2 | Need some advice, how would you recover this?Asking someone else for advice, they recommend trying to backtrack and apologize saying it was a joke, and then change the topic. But is that not a deathkiss move entirely? | /r/seduction | 11/11/18 07:13 PM |
| 3 | Lets discuss the concept of "Frame" for a bit - Any thoughts you'd like to share?What’s the alternative strong frame, sexual tension response in this scenario | /r/seduction | 05/10/18 06:50 PM |
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