Online First Dates - Are Guys Disadvantaged on the First Date Itself

SoUrLovin · 2020-11-09T19:19:10+00:00

Yes you're right. You are at a disadvantage already, and yes you would be better off hitting it off in a bar or a dance floor. I don't even think dating is a viable thing anymore as a man unless it's someone you're already hooking up with.

SadBananaCat · 2020-11-09T19:30:48+00:00

If this is happening, often it could be the way you talk to the women. Yes you are at a slight disadvantage from meeting women online, however you should be able to turn it into a flirtatious vibe with most women. This is coming from my experience however, so yours could be different and you could be doing nothing wrong.

ArcaneAces · 2020-11-09T19:37:51+00:00

It's probably your energy that's the problem. You need to entertain the lady, not necessarily by being a clown but make her enjoy your company and with a dash of sexual flirting she will get in the right zone.

bongkiki · 2020-11-09T19:59:43+00:00

Here's what always worked for me and works even better during Coronavirus with bars closed. Invite the lady over to your house and cook her dinner. Drink some lady's booze and smoke some 420 together. Take her over to the neighbor couples and socialize. She'll see you're a catch and really know you for what you are and see that even the neighbors wives like you, and she'll be staying over and want sex real soon with most women. I only date black women and it's ok with them to be friends and when it feels right add sex buddies too. I met my lady as above. I'm 57 white and 6'4". My lady is black, 31, 5'2", tiny 82lbs, tatted and pierced. We make a perfect pair as enjoy each others company and friendship first and later added sex - without having to give it a label. But she did thankfully ask that we be exclusive. And we both are exhibitionists and she's always braless in public and likes showing off her body and that she's with me. And keep it fresh. Recently, I took her to the tat studio and we got all 4 of our nipples pierced. Or take her to get waxed. Or take her to an adult shop and buy her something sexy or naughty or take her for a pampering at a nail spa and wait around for her and sit next to her and flirt while her nails get done. Being with a black girl is just the best and first me a perfect fit. So much fun being together in a real friendship. Go for it.

Cotrd_Gram · 2020-11-09T20:38:47+00:00

Have you thought of maybe not meeting for coffee or drinks? Do something different. I have taken women out on all kinds of fun first dates over the years. You have to read the room. Find a common interest and do that. I have gone dancing, golfing (mini and driving range) hell even during the period of Pokémon Go I went of a first date in a packed park because we were into it. Some ended well, others were at least fun dates and even if we didn't click we had a good time. Coffee and drinks is boring and everyone does it and you just sit there playing 20 questions and its hard to spark. The only place you should avoid on a first date is a movie. You don't talk and its a wasted chance to get to know someone.

STD_Tyler · 2020-11-09T21:03:30+00:00

If you are a good earner, do sports and have a good life, you can demonstrate that on your instagram, and you won't be in disadvantage anymore. Or you can whinge that you don't like social media, it is up to you.

bongkiki · 2020-11-09T20:13:07+00:00

Trust me bro. I'm smoking the truth. Invite chicks over for dinner at home. Make sure you have a clean house and can cook. And black girls just don't know how to meet us guys that dig them. You have to make the first move.

bongkiki · 2020-11-09T20:17:04+00:00

And each nipple piercing only hurts for one long second. After that healing is nothing. It looks great. Nips much more sensitive now. She loves them. And I mow my grass without a shirt on and all the neighbors talking about my nipples (and my ladies nips too). As exhibitionists we love the attention.

DaydreamingMister · 2020-11-09T20:18:55+00:00

Very good question, my good man. Some questions/thoughts for your analysis…

-While are you are smart to do coffee as the first date, there are factors to tend to for controlling what the coffee date environment, and good energy, and cafe date experience end up being like.

For example, are you properly screening/scouting & selecting specific coffee shops that you personally feel great spending time in? You should be trying to give yourself an advantage in this way, as the host of this date night. And in general, when the date is coffee or dinner or whatever, your approach should be that you are the “captain of the fun bus“… you are inviting a woman to join you in something that you would be pleased to go and with or without her... Having this style as a man is like - I know I’m going to have a ball going and doing this; would you like to join or miss out on it?

Not that you are going to say that to a woman, but that should be a man’s style in extending date invitations.

-Are you choosing even the seating detail in advance of the date, to make sure the two of you are positioned optimally for your taste and your goals? Do you feel better & stronger sitting in a booth on a date… Or at a bar-height table?

-Are you tending to other details in advance such as making sure that environmental noise or loud music will not be a barrier to both of you being able to speak comfortably and still hear each other without straining?

-Also, what is your conversation game like, in terms of having developed your ability to ask fun questions? She should be doing about 80% of the talking, UNLIKE dates where the guy spends most of the time talking about himself! Your job as the man is to engage her by asking questions that get her talking about things she would LOVE to talk about.

Few thoughts there.

afuntimewashadbyall · 2020-11-10T02:12:10+00:00

First date then activity or if youre feeling bold drinks then venue change to club and try and make out

Second I think you may be advertising provider too much making you 3rd date sex material. Hence "date properly". Do something fun, fun is better than fancy imo.

itsnotmygame · 2020-11-10T05:48:50+00:00

I love first dates! I definitely have been on dates where it does gets boring, or where im uncomfortable. I noticed what affects me is the environment im in, which is why I never let the girl choose the first date anymore. When I take a girl on a date, its usually places i enjoy going to. Even if the date is boring I'll still have a good time. You said you're a sporty person. Maybe you should have a date at the park tossing the ball around getting to know each, etc..

ImmodestPolitician · 2020-11-10T11:59:09+00:00

Any attractive women is going to have a ton of dates lined up.

Between being able to go on a date everyday if they desire and rom-coms, some women's expectations have never been higher.

Title	Online First Dates - Are Guys Disadvantaged on the First Date Itself
Author	SeaofCrags
Upvotes	20
Comments	18
Date	November 9, 2020 6:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jr3slq/online_first_dates_are_guys_disadvantaged_on_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/online-first-dates-are-guys-disadvantaged-on-the.1505393 https://theredarchive.com/post/1505393

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