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ShiveringPines Archive

View 7 posts and 86 comments by ShiveringPines on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Brother, your course of action here is clear. get out of your own head. Make a fitness plan and stick to it. Don't obsess over a six pack - just focus on getting your body fat down. Lifting + diet will do the trick, it just takes time cutting out drinking until you're out of the red zone is really not a bad idea based on your description here, it sounds like your wife has an exit plan in mind and is not really thinking about reconciliation. A lot of guys in here will leap immediately to "she's f…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/17 02:30 PM
3

god, she is awful
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 07:57 PM
3

Have a fucking upvote, you filthy animal.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 06:58 PM
1

1 - why the SL program? Just curious. 2 - good god man, why 6am? How long have you managed to keep that up?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 02:57 PM
8

Month six of RP. My last OYS was a few weeks ago. Owning: Health: I've dropped 15 pounds, nearly all bodyfat, in the last few months, while seeing steady strength gainz. Muscular vascularity has returned. Abs. Appearance: maintaining. Look good. Getting very positive feedback from folks I haven't seen in a while, IOIs from randoms. Feels great. Work: maintaining. Killing it. Sex: initiating more, some progress. Breakthrough incident the other night. Mood: Began vitamin-D and ZMA supplements. See…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/16 02:48 PM
1

I like it - this is worth a try. Thanks.
/r/askMRP05/12/16 02:51 PM
0

This is the first useful practical response to my post. Thanks. This strategy makes intuitive sense to me.
/r/askMRP05/12/16 02:48 PM
0

Not really. I started RP for my wife/marriage, but along the way have internalized it as a personal improvement journey. Like I said above, I'd love to find some way to improve my marriage along with it as a side effect, but it's not the main impetus.
/r/askMRP05/12/16 02:35 PM
2

I've looked at the blog, but haven't read carefully. I will now. Thanks.
/r/askMRP05/12/16 02:33 PM
0

Just didn't want to rehash what I've written before (OYS etc). I'm doing pretty good at STFU and rebuffing shit tests, and can serve up beta comfort when it's needed. I try to pre-empt comfort needs too, and honestly I think I'm doing pretty good on that front. That said, I don't over-deliver. I will let her just stew occasionally rather than rush to comfort her. Leading in the relationship is something I can do better on. Often, I'll plan/propose an activity for us, and she'll shoot it down imm…
/r/askMRP04/12/16 05:38 PM
2

Have you considered asking/telling her to dial back the work/meetings stuff and be home a little more? You don't need the money and you're taking on way more than your share around the house. Tell her she needs to step back in and take up some domestic duties. I might combine this with hiring an attractive young babysitter while she is not around. If that doesn't get her hamster going...
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 03:39 PM
5

A year ago she told me she loves me but isn't in love with me, I should find a girl friend etc. Red alert, Will Robinson
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 03:36 PM
3

Interesting! I'm doing the opposite during my cut (now) - low volume, heavy weights. I'm seeing slow, but steady, progress, and continued weight loss.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 02:01 PM
2

I may look into this - thank you. Obviously, my interest in her personal fitness only extends as far as (1) it keeps the pounds off and (2) it might help ignite her dormant sex drive.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 07:29 PM
0

I'm in a similar boat as you. Your approach here - "shit or get off the pot" - took balls. Kudos. Yet I struggle with the same fundamental problem - lack of desire. Dunno if that's coming back.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 07:23 PM
1

fwiw - always continue to lift during your cut. (I'm doing it now.) Lift for strength, not building. Heavy lifts, low volume, progressive overload.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 07:19 PM
2

Has your wife actually been unfaithful previously? Or are you just getting suspicious & hamstering in your own head? Lift & cut, man.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 07:12 PM
1

I have heard of a gag reflex; but what is this you are talking about? She just has a strong propensity for disgust in many areas of life. Won't touch food one day after the "best by" date; mud; cleaning really gross stuff. Gets grossed out easily. Sex, with all of its fluids and messes, triggers that for her now. I gather that this is actually pretty common, but usually happens in the absence of true desire or attraction. Desire trumps all of that, and enough of it will make a woman beg for your…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 03:11 PM
1

Starting month five-ish of MRP. My last OYS was over a month ago. Owning: Health - lifting routine is on point - consistent, disciplined, goal oriented. Still seeing strength gainz. Working on a bodyfat cut right now, planning my lean bulk in the New Year. Appearance: Upped my game. Per guidance & feedback I've received here, I've been investing in new wardrobe items with good results. I look and feel more attractive. Work: generally killing it. Shit tests: over the last few months, I've effecti…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 02:24 PM
2

Do you have a retrospective/FR that goes over your progress thus far? I'd certainly like to read it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 04:07 PM
2

You can sometimes negotiate compliance, but not desire. I would prefer the latter.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 03:43 PM
1

Bingo. Gotta cut the leash of oneitis.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 02:11 PM
2

Dude, /u/creating_my_life is 100% correct. Like him, I don't know your background or anything, but... this situation is a total garbage fire. Step back, get a grip and fix your life, ffs. You don't have an "MRP problem," per se - you have a YOU problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 09:06 PM
10

Ideally, though, we'd rather not all "go nuclear" to get back to that place of fundamental renegotiation of the terms of the relationship. My reading of MRP is, in part, that by re-establishing our own frame, we gradually force our women to readjust. That is certainly easier, and lower-risk, than threatening to bomb the marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 08:59 PM
1

But isn't that setting a precedent where I need to chaperone her in all of her own fitness activities? Honestly, doing those things you listed sounds like a huge PITA and a time-suck. I'm not about to go do yoga or pilates with her.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 07:03 PM
1

I'm gonna second the warnings about negotiating agreed times/places for sex. (I'm in a similar boat as you, fwiw.) If it works in the beginning stages just to get sex happening at all, maybe that's one thing... but ideally, the situation you're striving for is where she is sexually available to you anytime you want. You want it, she yields, unless there's a very legitimate reason why not. You can try overcoming the "I'm tired" thing by doing Funny & Cocky. Athol Kay has great advice here, on doi…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 07:00 PM
1

We live in a major metro where gyms are $$$. In our prior city, I got her a good, cheap $20/mo membership, which she used exactly once in six months.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 08:50 PM
1

Nor should you. I misspoke earlier, see reply above.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 08:48 PM
4

I misspoke. I should say, the end goal here is a happier (and healthier, stronger, etc) me, and a better marriage would also be one other thing that would serve that prior goal. I'm interested in improving my marriage insofar as it makes my life better, but not for its own sake.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 08:48 PM
2

End goal is a happier marriage, which involves pretty typical MRP checkboxes. Thing is, I have yet to consider what would make her more fulfilled, since my MRP journey thus far has been mostly focused on improving myself. My preference would be that she figure her part out for herself, but if I must do it... her fitness and productive activities (she's into crafting?) would be where she should start. You can lead a horse to water, but...
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 05:52 PM
6

Re: comfort test, check. That is essentially my response already. I have also considered just signing her up for things and essentially saying, "be there." My concern is around wasting that money when she doesn't comply. Most of my leadership thus far has been planning activities/dates for us, not things for her to do solo. Perhaps that should be a next step.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 05:46 PM
1

I have considered this, and still do. Primary hesitation is around dropping a ton of money on a gym membership for her and then watching her never go. Not sure how to get her to want to do things.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 05:40 PM
10

Rediscovering myself, my independence, and building my sense of personal strength has been one of the greatest results from taking the pill. Good post, have an upvote.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/16 03:57 PM
1

so... what did you do? Tbh that sounds like a big red divorce trigger to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 06:49 PM
1

Congrats dude!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/16 03:50 PM
1

Agreed on all counts.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:53 PM
1

Yes - my first FR is here. We're in our early 30s. Honestly, her value-add is limited to my romantic feelings for her. Until very recently, she added nothing financial, is only minimally domestic and pretty high-maintenance. She is very good looking. No kids.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:52 PM
1

Fair points. I do think the comms issue is an important one. For example, if I don't say, "I don't like it when you do that, stop doing that," then it's hard to expect my wife to know what my expectations are. Mind-reading isn't a strategy. Nevertheless, that actions > words is clear. Working on that on a number of fronts.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 03:44 PM
1

Attorney consultation is good preparation, that's all. We're two years into dissatisfaction, so RP is just the latest stage.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 04:16 PM
1

I'm only about three months into MRP. The biggest things I'm focused on right now are improving my physical appearance (which isn't bad, but can certainly improve) and developing more Alpha in my marriage. Previous week's OYS Owning: Health: I've remained focused, committed and consistent here. Recently finished a heavy 13-week bulk, now going into a cut. Changing up my lifting to a PPL routine, adding some boxing HIITs. Appearance: Grew a beard. Got a sharp haircut. Added two new nice items to …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 03:33 PM
2

much obliged sir
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/16 03:25 PM
11

Honestly, I did this sort of breakdown when I was 27, and realized... shit, you know what my problem is? It's not that I fritter away all this money on my phone or Netflix or whatever. It's that I don't make enough money. So I went and found a way to make way more money, and now this stuff doesn't faze me anymore. If a few $10 or $15/month charges are what's killing your financial situation, guess what? They're not your problem. You need to improve your income. Bagging a $5k/year increase in sal…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/16 02:31 PM
5

Freeloading isn't grown ass man behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/16 02:18 PM
3

From The Quick Fix: If you’re 35 and (should be) entering your SMV peak years, this open Hypergamy revelation is particularly tough to accept since it’s likely you’ve invested 7-8 years in a woman who’s just told you what you are to her (and confirming it’s not who you are that’s of primary importance to her). It me. This article hurts like healing fire. What makes it tolerable is the self-respect and self-esteem I've regained as part of taking the RP, and the self-assurance that gives me to end…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/16 03:05 PM
2

At least in the tech sector, courses/certs are worth a whole lot less than: cross-functional experience (get some time in many different biz functions) willingness to jump companies/roles for the right gig giving good meeting game and social skills (and politics) networking smart doing your job well and getting visibility for it source: middle-management
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/16 10:48 PM
1

I've really enjoyed IAmAlphaM and Real Men Real Style. Tons of good content.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/16 02:27 AM
8

No shame at all at masectomies due to a very legitimate cancer concern. I would 100% support my wife making the same choice, and I love her tits. Just means that we get to pick out some sweet fake ones afterwards. (I like fake tits as much as real ones.)
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 05:53 PM
1

My previous OYS Coming up on 3 months since taking the pill. The Good: Lifting is good. I'm on Week 12 of a 13-week program, and overall pretty pleased with strength improvement and muscle gain. Entering a cut next month. Had a couple of hard convos with the wife about what I want and where my expectations are not being met. Held frame, and this has actually helped a lot. Sex dry spell is broken. We're both initiating. She's becoming nicer to me. Halfway through Rational Male. I'm learning more …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/16 03:12 PM
1

tbh, sort of impressed
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/16 07:57 PM
2

Seriously this. As hot as hate-fucking her may be, this chick has all sorts of red flags. Very bad news down the line. Cut bait.
/r/askMRP15/09/16 04:58 PM
1

Weakness inspires nothing but contempt - whether from women or other men. Crying to MRP is an example. A clear desire to do better and supporting actions in that direction, however, deserves a different response. When a guy in here isn't sure of what MRP counsels in a given scenario, or is simply updating how MRP has applied in his situation, that is a good contribution IMO. Helps us all learn. Realistically, almost everyone in here is on an MRP journey in their life, marriage and personal devel…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 04:24 PM
1

My basic "look" pulled a whole lot of tail before Mrs. SP came along, so I guess I never had any reason before to address my wardrobe as a strategic lever. Nevertheless, I find your last paragraph compelling. +1
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 01:15 PM
1

You're not in her frame if you are doing it for yourself That's my difficulty right now - I haven't yet come around to accepting that I need to look better than I do. Until I really agree with that, I'm essentially doing this to meet someone else's idea (hers) of what I "should" look like. Lifting has been in full swing since I took the pill over two months ago. Read core MRP canon. Field report here.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 02:52 AM
2

Wardrobe is pretty basic right now: khakis/button-up shirt at work, shorts/t-shirt at home. I've been turned on to /r/malefashionadvice and have been reading the material there to prepare for my impending wardrobe upgrade. I am open to considering that it's my ego that is preventing me from accepting that I don't look just fine as is. Bitter pill, perhaps.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 02:48 AM
2

Wife and I had a fight once. Later, she told me that if she'd had a joint credit card with me (or one in my name), she would've charged a big-city shopping spree on it and a couple of plane tickets, and paying it would've been my "punishment" for [Thing she doesn't like]. Gets a big ol' "hmmm" from me.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 08:56 PM
3

This is a good point. I sexually rebut my wife sometimes, but I consciously avoid the obvious "dick joke"-type sexual innuendo. I'll give YOU some meat! isn't innuendo. It's a dumb gag, and it sounds sort of stupid if, again, you're not Seth Rogan or a teenage boy. Innuendo makes your double-meaning point clearly, but more subtly than that. What comes off as funny and flirty will obviously be different in every relationship. In mine, my wife is actually the one who will occasionally rebut her ow…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 08:51 PM
1

No major changes in physique or career status since the wedding. Actually, I'm making even more today at a more elite firm, I dropped some body fat and put on muscle. "Exterior" motives for drop in desire can be eliminated - I suspect what's really happening is on an emotional, and likely subconscious, level for her. Plan A is to stay with wife and try to make things work. I love my wife and can envision a scenario in which we get to where I want us to be. But we have work to do, and I/we need t…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/16 04:00 PM
1

A man will never have any friend in this world like his German Shepherd.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/16 06:13 PM
1

Upvoted for good advice. So your guidance is to invest in new wardrobe items before weight is lost? (We're not talking about a substantial amount - probably 10-15 lbs). I fucking hate boat shoes...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 06:22 PM
3

I was/am in your same position. Hear me out. Your problem here is that you're hurting emotionally. You just want your wife to be into you, but she's not. You feel like you're putting in a lot of effort but getting nothing back. You're not wrong to feel any of these things at all, but those feelings will not be helpful for you in changing the situation. The problem is that continuing to be hurt does nothing to help you. All it does is make you feel worse and, as /u/BluepillProfessor points out, i…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 05:51 PM
2

This guy has a good series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZa-dtruFI
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 04:29 PM
1

The flip side of this is: how do you keep a tidy house if your wife is sort of lazy? If the husband doesn't step in and clean shit up, the house is unkempt, which is disorderly. If he DOES step in and do it, then... well, joke's on you, buddy, you just became Mr. Maid! The only option I see is clearly communicating expectations for your wife for what to clean, when and where. But that gets naggy and unattractive - it can come across as making her feel she needs to clean up (after you or not)! Ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 03:55 PM
1

upvoted and marked for review Update: This site (and youtube channel) is very good.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 03:38 PM
1

Totally agree. I just haven't found any good options in that direction...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 02:42 PM
2

I think we often overlook the role of communication in improving an MRP marriage. As guys, we don't like to talk about our feelings/relationships too much. And, of course, action trumps words. But humans have to communicate. Explicitly making it clear to your spouse what you expect/want, and learning what she does, too, is key to laying the foundation for a functional marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 02:08 PM
1

The good Lifting program is proceeding nicely. Good strength increases & physique changes. Motivation is high, nutrition on-track. Compliments/IOIs are up I've initiated ongoing conversation w/the wife about how we communicate and what each of us wants. Have to make explicitly clear what I expect. The bad Wife still shows limited interest, either in sex or in me. I have to constantly remind myself to maintain frame and not alter my own plans/desires to accommodate hers Finding it difficult recen…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/16 04:03 PM
1

I see it as a way to more clearly communicate to her my needs and expectations, and to make them not covert at all. How can she fulfill my desires if she doesn't know what they are? I also see it as a good, more neutral framework for discussing our relationship itself.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/16 11:43 AM
1

Fair points, and yet - she may simply not approve of firearms in her house, just as I do not permit them in mine. Valid choice. Anti-gun people, like me, may enjoy shooting just fine, but can still be adamant that under no circumstances will they be allowed in the house. If OP needs a gun more than he loves his wife, then that's his choice and his decision is clear.
/r/askMRP31/08/16 05:03 PM
1

Yep. Of course, I cannot control how she chooses to respond to me upping my game. I can only become a better man/husband and clearly communicate that I expect her to do the same.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 01:28 AM
0

I'm hoping that steady diet of upping my SMV + subtle dread + better communication of what I want, need and expect will do the trick. If it doesn't... well, no oneitis here.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 01:16 AM
1

We're going to work through this book on Love Languages - which I know sounds extremely beta, but I actually find extremely useful. If I can clearly show her HOW I want her to express appreciation for me, and I understand how she interprets my behavior too, then that reduces wasted time and energy for us both.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 01:07 AM
1

I have not been a perfect husband, but IMO a better husband than she has been wife. (Of course, I would say that.) Assertively gaining control of the course of our marriage is now what I have to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 01:04 AM
1

My second post to this weekly thread. The good: my lifting program is going very well. I work out every other day, have a very structured program that includes lifting + dietary changes. Feeling great. Wife hasn't said anything about my improved appearance, but her friends have commented positively on it in front of her, so I suspect she's just staying quiet for now I'm a star at work. Traveling internationally next month to visit some clients. made a lot of progress cultivating my circle of mal…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/16 06:39 PM
3

Just want to reiterate that this is the correct answer. Every pregnancy is different. Enjoy fucking your fat preggo wife for a while. Give her a solid year to work off the weight after as you become parents.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/16 06:21 PM
1

Excellent point. Fwiw, I enjoy hanging out with her family, so that was fun. I now understand, though, that as I change my behavior to establish expectations, this will make her upset sometimes. So be it. I have to own what I want and my plan for getting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/16 02:16 PM
1

Took the pill several weeks ago. First post to the weekly thread here. The Good: Saw a buddy of mine over the weekend who I hadn't seen in a few months, and he remarked that I was looking more buff than usual. Asked if I'd been working out - first validation from someone else that I was getting results. Lifting is going well, making great progress. I'm transitioning to a cutting phase in a couple of weeks to drop body fat too. Gym time is both physically and mentally therapeutic. Since finishing…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/16 06:54 PM
2

I swallowed the pill a few weeks ago. Read the canon. Worked on my shit. Sometimes I feel like victim puking and complaining to a friendly ear. But then I remember that that's fucking lame and STFU about it. And then go lift something.
/r/askMRP20/08/16 05:08 PM
2

My story too. Discovered MRP only several weeks ago, after several timid convos with the wife about how our sex life wasn't enough for me. Didn't do shit. Since I've read NMMNG, MMSLP and WISNIFG, MRP had opened my eyes to some essential truths: (1) I cannot control what my wife does/feels. I can only control me. (2) it's my responsibility to know & assertively communicate exactly what I want, and to get it. If I don't, it's not her fault. (3) no matter what happens, I'll be fine. The world is a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 07:31 PM
1

Shit - you're sub 15% body fat at 225 lbs? What are you, an athlete? A little off-topic, but how'd you do that?
/r/askMRP22/07/16 07:31 PM
1

Honestly, man, are you sure you're approaching this whole problem the right way? It sounds like she's got a medical issue that (1) makes sex painful and (2) strongly impacts her sex drive. That's the biggest obstacle you have, and that's a health/medical issue more than anything. Pursue your MAP, by all means. That's about a better you. But if her medical problem isn't fixed, your MAP won't solve the sex issue.
/r/askMRP21/07/16 04:19 PM
1

Echo what /u/jeeohnjones said. I actually posted here about getting Red Knighted a while ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4spsew/this_place_is_a_revelation/ The DB subreddit is a dark, sad place without a lot of hope. If you read a post there that sounds like it involves a promising participant, PM about MRP. I had no idea this existed. Now, it has inspired me to change my life.
/r/askMRP20/07/16 03:47 PM
1

Good point. I have identified a number of Beta responses I used to default to, especially with my wife, and I am now consciously reducing them. But to your point, those should flow naturally from my state of mind.
/r/askMRP15/07/16 09:13 PM
1

Yep. I think my biggest areas of focus are going to be 3 and 4. I've got 1 and 2 on lock, and am generally the 5 guy anyway.
/r/askMRP14/07/16 10:20 PM
1

Agreed. Now that my lifting plan has been clarified, I need to develop another for reasserting Alpha in my interactions with wife.
/r/askMRP14/07/16 04:58 PM
1

Wife is no longer attracted to me. Has explicitly said she'd probably be okay never having sex again. I don't blame her for this - this is my failing, which I have resolved to rectify. Porn/fapping is fun but, as pointed out elsewhere, diminishes my ability to initiate at any time. So might not cut it out entirely, but gonna cut back.
/r/askMRP14/07/16 04:57 PM
1

This seems to be the consensus, and I agree. My activities are great - I just need to excel in them. After all, if I don't, why do them?
/r/askMRP14/07/16 04:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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