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Silky_Goldfish Archive

View 2 posts and 36 comments by Silky_Goldfish on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I asked you for ways to find out what it is to live with a man without actually living with him and how to find out things that usually only come up after moving in together. Your answer was "ask him questions you already know the answer for". I do not find your answer helpful in any way, but I still thanked you for it, because that's what you do when someone takes their time to attend to your request. I certainly do not expect validation from you (I can only guess what you meant by that), I was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:39 PM
1

That's not very useful, but thank you for trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:17 PM
0

I would gladly read about those easier way, if you have time to type them out. Maybe an overall separate post would be even better, since by looking at the other comments on this post, it seems like a lot of other women are feeling the same way as I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:45 PM
2

You keep repeating that I said something that I didn't actually say. Please stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:35 PM
3

And yeah we know, that's pretty much the whole point of the sub. EXACTLY! That's why I keep repeating that this whole "don't move in before having a wedding date set" thing goes against everything this sub teaches. How come we give women a bunch of advices on how to pick a good man, what things to look out for and then tell them to just start planning the wedding without even knowing what it is to live together with that man? That sounds like blaming. Okay, then this whole sub must sound like bl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:10 PM
1

This is not just about his adulting abilities, I listed a few other things too, that you can only find out about (in my opinion), after having lived together. I wonder why you haven't address those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:02 PM
2

How??????? How does it sound like blaming women? Are you reading the same thing that I wrote? I didn't talk about men's behaviour change. I talked about already existing behaviour and making sure he doesn't have any that is a deal breaker, eg. he is not a lazy slob, he doesn't have any weird house rules, he is not controlling, he is not possessive, he is taking a fair share of house work, etc. You can only observe some of those, when you share a household with him. I never once talked about beha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:55 PM
2

Couples who have cohabitated prior to marriage have a much higher rate of divorce. We shouldn't take statistics at face value. Correlation does not equal causation. There could be several reason for that (eg. religion that is opposed to divorce and cohabitation before marriage) and we already know that, sadly, no divorce doesn't equal happy marriage. When I moved in together with my now fiancé, we did it knowing that we want to get married, but this is a necessary step (for us) before that. He p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 03:06 PM
2

I think I was pretty clear, I don't know what's not to understand here. There are two statements here: 1) Women should learn to drop people no matter their circumstances. 2) Women should avoid unpleasant situations with men, if they can. We should do both of these at any given time. So yes, if you husband is an ass, divorce him. BUT better yet, do your research BEFORE you marry him, so you won't be stuck with an ass of a husband for several months/years until the divorce is finalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 02:46 PM
5

I would prefer not to do more house work than him, even if he already "wifed" me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 02:31 PM
-4

Uhm, you are doing the exact same thing, if you follow the moving in together after getting engaged rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 02:06 AM
4

I meant that it's possible to leave a man and block him out of your life completely after a brief time of cohabitation, but it's not possible to do the same, if you have a kid with him. You can have a "trial marriage" and then move on, but you can't have a "trial parenthood". I absolutely agree that a woman should be able to walk away from the relationship at any given time, but we should be real here and admit that it's harder to walk away, when you have money in it, people watching you and exc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 01:44 AM
3

That's just my opinion based on the men around me. I'm not in the US and I'm in a male dominated field, so it's definitely possible that my experiences are not relevant to you. I haven't really thought about that, before I wrote it down...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 12:27 AM
16

I definitely agree that you shouldn't move in together with a man that didn't establish his commitment to you. That's absolutely a must! But the difference is that in my opinion, it's enough if he verbally (and through his everyday actions) expresses it, a ring is not necessary straight away. A ring means that I have to say "yes, I will marry you". That's not something I could true heartedly say before learning how it is to live with him. Sadly, I've heard way too many moving in together horror …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 11:53 PM
7

Well, one of them is possible and the other one isn't, so yes, your example is definitely nonsensical. Following your logic, we shouldn't even date, just jump straight into marriage and then divorce, when he turns out to be low value. Shouldn't we advise women to do all the necessary and low-risk pre-evaluation and research before jumping into a marriage? Isn't this sub about helping women pick out a good man? It's extremely easy to find a man that wants to marry you, so that really shouldn't be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 11:34 PM
5

No one is really meant to be with anyone That's true. One person is able to form a happy, fulfilling romantic relationship with several people (at different times), not just one in the whole world. Which means love technically isn't real I don't see how you came to this conclusion. How do you define love?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:34 AM
38

I'm not trying to standard shame here, but 20 lbs? Seriously..? It will come off by itself, now that the vacation is over. Maybe ask him to go on a few walks with you per week, but that's it. If my partner told me, that they no longer find me attractive because of 20 lbs gained on a vacation, I would just show myself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:16 AM
3

Fortunately, my case is different. She isn't trying to tell me what to do, it's more like she is trying to encourage me to be hard on her son and don't let him be lazy and forget about basic adult things. But it's still weird, unnecessary and quite insulting to my fiancé. I see absolutely no reason for her to have such a low opinion on her son. When we announced our engagement, instead of congratulating us, she almost scolded my fiancé and told us what kind of rings she was looking at, because s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 12:57 AM
11

I hate how my MIL-to-be acts like I'm the new mother of her son. She tells me things like "make sure he gets a haircut before X event", "tell him to study", "MAKE him go clothes shopping, when he needs it, don't let him get blowzy". He is a grown man. Yeah, he might have needed to be told those things, when he last lived home at 17, but come on, that was 10 years ago. I truly can't decide if she just has a really low opinion on her son, or if she thinks it's normal for women to mother their spou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 11:31 PM
21

Great post! I would also like to add one thing. You, as a woman, really need to know what your priorities are and what you want your married life to look like. Monday-Friday, 9-5 jobs have an upper limit in salary. After you reach that, you can only earn more by 1) working more hours (of course), 2) making your job your life, being available 0-24 on all days 3) carrying a huge responsibility on your back. If someone screws up below you, it's you, who will be hold responsible and potentially fire…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:13 PM
24

I said that if I'm doing my best, I expect the best in return, and he said that he could not do that. That doesn't sound like a HV thing to say. You have only known him for a couple of months, you had to ask him to be your boyfriend and he literally told you that he is not willing to put any more effort into this relationship. You didn't lose a HVM by acting like a pickmeisha. You got rid of a LVM, because you stopped being a pickmeisha. So stick to it, especially that you say that you don't eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:10 AM
29

Nah, it doesn't matter if you are single or not, they won't listen to you. All my friends are amazed with my fiancé, yet they won't break up with their trash boyfriends, no matter how hard I try to warn them. They complain about their boyfriends being lazy, having pictures of other girls on their phone, sleeping at their "platonic" female friend's apartment, being emotionally abusive, and the list goes on. About 3 of them told me at one point, that they wish they had a man like my fiancé in thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 10:27 PM
1

I don't 100% agree with this, but to each their own. Maybe I will regret getting married so young, but who cares? It's life, I'm not afraid of making mistakes and I already spend way too much time thinking and planning my future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 12:23 PM
59

The problem is rarely with the size of the dick, but with the man attached to it. They can be soo obsessed with their dicks. If it's small, they are insecure, if it's big, they are full of themselves, if it's average, well, it can be either...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 11:18 AM
8

There is no universal answer to this one, because it highly depends on your country, your finances and whether either of you have children from a previous marriage. Personally, my fiancé and I won't be getting a prenup. Neither of us have any debt or children, we have similarly paying jobs and we are both fine with the marriage and divorce laws in our country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 06:11 PM
6

That's still a wedding (act of marrying), just one without a huge party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 05:15 AM
14

Everything you said. I also feel like dating multiple people at the same time is rare here, exclusivity is kind of given after 2 dates or so (but I moved away from the capital city a few years ago, so maybe it's different there now). Older guys are ridiculously confident and have the face to go up to women 20 years younger than them. It's not rare for a teenager to date 25-30 yo guys either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:02 AM
5

We met online (not through OLD) and of course had a few actual physical meet-ups, before we started our romantic relationship. Then I went abroad for 10 months as an exchange student. Some interesting things happened then, one idiot found him on Facebook and messaged him saying that I'm cheating on him (with the idiot). But he had rock solid trust in me and never doubted me for a second. After I came back, we still had some distance between us, but he travelled 6 hours to see me almost every wee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:40 AM
21

We have done long distance with my fiancé and it worked out for us really well, but I would NEVER recommend it to anyone. Our case is the exception, not the rule. I've had at least 10 friends, who at some point, were in a LDR, but it was a series of suffering for all of them. One of the guys suddenly claimed that they weren't even real boyfriend-girlfriend after saying they were for 3 YEARS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:46 PM
28

Honestly, I don't think the ring is that big of a deal, but that's probably because I personally don't really care for jewellery. However, your comments make your relationship look quite problematic. This whole you cheated, he keeps bringing it up to make you feel guilty, you giving him an ultimatum to propose thing sounds really alarming. You've got bigger problems than the type of stone in your ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:02 PM
5

Just eww...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:24 PM
4

I like the names my fiancé calls me, he constantly comes up with new ones. It's sweet how he gets creative with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:32 PM
2

I have a friend like that. She has a boyfriend, who couldn't finish university in 9 years and with that, he has quite a nice debt. They moved together to her father's inherited apartment. The guy lived there for free and refused to do any chores. He didn't attend his university classes and worked 3 days in every 2 weeks. She on the other hand, attended all her classes and worked several hours next to that. When she got home at 8 after a full day of classes and work, she found the apartment dirty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 08:56 PM
22

Wow, that last one is so sad. I would like to think that men like those in the comments don't have girlfriends, but sadly, that's not the case. Just the other day, my fiancé told me about a conversation he had with his course mates. All late 20's and up, with engineering jobs, doing their masters on the weekends. At least 3 of them said that they refuse to move in together with their long term girlfriends, because they were still full time students. These men, already renting an apartment, refus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 10:20 AM
1

Yes, it turned out he was just insecure. He only wanted to put off penetrative sex, not oral. He gladly went down on me, but he always backed out when it came to "real" sex. Later admitted that he was worried about not being able to please me that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 06:34 PM
3

Hi! I'm new here and I have a question. Isn't this method a bit - for the lack of better words - dangerous? You have a man, who showed you his absolute best side so far and you have no idea what it's like to live with him, how he is on his average. So how do you make sure that he is good enough for you? Do you move in after the engagement and do a "trial marriage"? Do you have a wedding date set right away? If not, how is this different than being a girlfriend other than using a different word f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 07:11 AM
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