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SireSweet Archive

View 5 posts and 228 comments by SireSweet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

My check list of getting right: physically. (Gym, change diet) financially (debt, taxes, savings,…) Mentally (take time, get a hobby, love an animal/child/family) Sleep good. (soft, clean and cool) Basically you just want to clean everything that went wrong that we either invested or sacrificed in the name of the relationship. As far as dating again. You’ll do best to recognize red flags and don’t ignore them. Don’t ignore them. See them. Acknowledge them and think about it. I don’t know man. I’…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:52 AM
1

Maybe it’s not looks? I don’t consider the traditional “hot” women attractive.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:42 AM
3

Every time I think about missing her- I remember what I went through. Don’t just remember the good times, also remember the really bad times. I’m half tempted to tell the new guy to save himself. Help a brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 04:07 AM
9

Social media definitely played a part in my break up. She was saying a lot of talking points. Hell, she knew more about hiding things in phones than I never knew. She’s the one that told me the snap chats don’t save the history and when you delete a picture, it’s not really deleted yet. And this is a woman who doesn’t know much about technology, phones and computers but knows how to hide her tracks?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 07:32 PM
3

Why does the father win?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 01:34 AM
5

I still have a little gift my wife gave to me that said “I hope this reminds you that someone loves you.” I’ve never opened that plastic baggy, used the charger, or anything. Out of everything I own, it’s the only thing I consider sentimental about. Just a reminder of my humanity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 02:21 AM
3

You need some more positions in your library
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 01:55 PM
5

Time- it can only dull the pain. Fill your life to get your mind off of it. I’d really recommend just focusing on yourself. Get back to the gym, workout, eat better, focus on bettering your life. Get out of debt and work on your financial health too. Try casual dating. A man who takes care of himself is sought after. Just don’t take it seriously- go in with the mindset of having fun. Not “I need you to fill my vacant life or I’ll die by myself.” Women can smell desperation like a shark can taste…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 02:34 AM
2

yeah ‘why would he be sleeping when hes got a house.’ “i dont really know what youre doing there/“
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 04:20 PM
1

Exactly. I have to keep this in mind- they’ll understand later.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 02:49 PM
4

BBC isn’t just a TV station.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 03:50 AM
2

Usually the first question: 1. Who filed?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:37 AM
0

I never thought Megan fox was attractive.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:53 AM
2

Start planning an exit strategy. I can almost guarantee that she is. Make calls to lawyers today. Don’t be reactive and don’t try to fix it. Once a woman loses respect for you it’s basically a done deal. You just want to do your future self a favor and be ready.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 11:08 AM
8

Yeah. If you take her back it’ll be worse the next time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 03:27 AM
1

Let the anger go, King. Be one with that she’s her own, and you have yours. The quicker you do, the happier you’ll be and you’ll look back at the version of you now and laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:37 AM
6

Even the most “logical” I’ve seen can turn this way. They just need a reason and a push. Even if it’s not from you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 03:29 PM
4

Really? I still remember the headaches, the aggravation, the fact that whenever I have to talk to her I’m emotionally drained. Being constantly yelled at, being told to make more money, she can’t keep a job at all, nothing is her fault. And then I have now. Peace. I no longer look for reasons to avoid home. I can relax. I’ll gladly take this. It’s not quite a cabin in the woods but it’s pretty darn close. Whenever I get the urge to miss her or wanting to date I just have to remember how it was b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:24 AM
5

Never dating for marriage. Always dating for a fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 09:16 PM
5

I guess it's different. I wasn't happy in the marriage. Now I don't even care about rejections. If she answers me, great. If she doesn't, even better. One less thing I have to think about. I still find my lower head thinking for me too often.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 05:44 AM
1

Men and women aren’t wired the same way when it comes to sex. We are still apes inside. Men can be as “fluid” with sex and be alright mentally. We got shit to do and a world that needs to be fought for. A woman who’s got 20 bodies is less likely to bond with 1 partner.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:45 PM
3

We all married the same woman bro. She’s just got a lot of different personalities.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:38 PM
3

Modern dating is pretty much a zero sum game for men. Especially with younger women. The pendulum needs to swing hard. If I was a smart man I’d never even consider dating other than fucking and then even not that. You can be charged and sent to jail because a woman said you SA them. Even with proof against the claim.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 05:58 AM
5

Exactly, it’s a compromise of two imperfect people doing the best we can in a shitty world.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:12 AM
6

We’re getting older. What’s the chances a woman our age are virgins? And if she is, why was she waiting so long?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:10 AM
20

I’ve had the married life. I’ve known the constant feeling that working 2/3 jobs was more peaceful than home. The feeling of walking on egg shells. Nothing was good enough. Frustration of trying to “nap” while working 20+ hours a days while she was happy to leave jobs because “they pissed me off.” And to then get cheated on. Why would I pick casual sex? Because the opposite is so much worse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:09 AM
7

I will never date with marriage as its end goal. Will I date for a good time and sex? Sure.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 02:01 PM
1

Until the paperwork is done, it’s not agreed on. I’ve seen too many times that 50/50 goes to full time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 07:16 PM
1

It’s really not that simple. Did you see the part about his lawyer bill being twice his annual income? Where is this money supposed to just come from?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 05:33 AM
2

Women are naturally manipulative. They are wired this way and it just makes sense to be that way for a woman. Her safety and her children safety would rely on it. They’re also more in tune with body language and such. It is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 11:50 PM
4

It’s a red flag when a woman fucks too good.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:21 AM
2

Why? There’s cheaper and easier methods to cause yourself pain.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 03:58 PM
3

I’ve been a lot more quick to realize the disturbance of peace a woman brings me. And other personality red flags. Fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 04:06 PM
3

Even considering a flight, it’s still cheaper than a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 01:36 PM
7

Ive found that usually an inverse is the case. The more attractive someone is, the more insufferable they are to be around. And those that aren’t attractive are so much more chill, peaceful and would be a ride or die with you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:49 PM
1

Wait… what? There’s an option other than “single”?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:29 AM
1

Yeah, I've just delt with the system badly before. They dgaf "why" only that the court order is enforced.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 06:33 PM
1

But would he win? I’ve heard of worse situations and the child was forced back with the mother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 01:23 PM
5

I don’t know why you’d ever do a marriage #2. Fuck no. Never putting myself through that again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:38 AM
4

Hobbies. Work more. Able to go to the gym without getting guilt tripped.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 05:10 PM
1

Time to go into a deep dive. Edit: “Jizzember”
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 07:40 PM
2

“Why did you stop with 1 finger?”
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 07:40 PM
3

I would’ve dipped a while ago. But there’s kids- I get it. We stay in relationships much longer because of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 02:34 AM
16

We’re afraid to lose our kids. We’re afraid to lose half our stufff.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:16 AM
2

Yeah. Having a child in the mix makes it difficult. Trying to duct tape the family together for the kiddo. Even if I had to endure all the pain, frustration and humiliation. Knowing what she does. Then you know how she treats the kiddo when you’re not there- so you try to shield the kiddo from angry outbursts and violence so you take it and not her. We do what we do. Even if it’s not known or appreciated. I’ve never fought for a relationship before and on some level I just wanted to throw it to …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:56 AM
19

Healing advice? Fuck her. When I filed it was the first night I slept good in a long time. Focus on getting yourself squared away. Work out, get that pay raise, get a better job, get a better woman. You no longer need to put up with guilt tripping whenever you wanted to do something or a hobby. No more fighting about bills and time. No more bullshit at home. No more trying earning sex like a checklist at work. You can go home and actually recharge. Just so much more peace. The world opens up to …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:43 AM
2

Yea. Feels like giving cpr to a cold corpse the longer you stay.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:06 AM
9

If you’ve been through hell, a divorce feels so good.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:48 PM
3

I seen “told my lawyer” and figured you didn’t go to law school. Like you a read a law for dummies book or something. I don’t know what was expecting.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:12 PM
3

There’s “lonely” then there’s “being alone” Choose the “being alone” part. The peace, being able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Not having to worry about coming home to a battleground. Walking on egg shells, feeling guilty about existing, not being enough, sleepless nights and stress. Fuck that. Workout, fish, remodel, hike, climb, play games, do absolutely nothing, eat pizza dunked in marshmallow fluff while drinking a Guinness watching Stranger Things. No one can tell you not to. G…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:09 PM
2

How’d you become a litigator?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:01 PM
13

They knew before I did. Fuck em. That said, she’s her family. There’s no sense of loyalty for them to have towards me and it’s in their best interest if she wins. So while I’m bitter about it, I understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:51 AM
22

I don’t know why anyone would want to remarry after going through a divorce the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:16 AM
2

Soon means yesterday?
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:20 PM
3

quietness. Beer and a day where he’s not getting fucked with. Also a head pat and “you’re doing good.”
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:43 AM
3

dont do it. It’ll be much worse if you give in and will do much more damage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:33 AM
7

My experience of family court has been: bend over and take it. Imagine a small peaceful field where there’s sunshine and gumdrops in the sky.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 02:11 AM
8

It’s like alimony and child support- we can’t write that shit off despite it being catastrophic amount of money for some people.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:10 PM
3

I prefer to keep the wet spots at their place.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 03:46 AM
2

They’ve got juice boxes and snackies. I love snackies post coitus.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 03:39 AM
1

I don’t know you, but love ya bro.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:53 PM
2

first divorce? What made you want to marry again?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:23 PM
2

Yeah. The thought process is different between men and women. Is the connection. They’re much less direct.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:44 PM
4

Yeah. It did. Basically whenever anyone took my side of things- male or female, it was still not her fault and could justify her actions a thousand ways over. She would then say that, “I’m the victim because my parents did this and that“ or “They’re nice to you but never me.” Or “you must’ve said something.” It took me a long time of self discovery and just watching other women to know what I refused to believe growing up. What they say they want isn’t what they actually want. So when they say X…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 07:02 AM
19

because women don’t like accountability. It’s never their fault.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:54 AM
2

I’m confused. Your wife’s friends saying you slept with men or your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 11:53 AM
1

She probably looked for any reason and he gave it to her on a silver platter.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:46 PM
4

December is hard for most of us. It’s just fuel for other things. Don’t worry about your wife. Fuck her. Concentrate on you and the kids. Do some hobby and let her do her. If/when she comes around. Steadfast and remember what you went through. Don’t give her that power over you again so easily.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 08:55 AM
5

“I’ll find that second person with someone else.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 05:42 PM
3

At the beach. Peaceful.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 09:02 PM
3

Like a stomache ache / nausea/ sick- when you don’t eat for 24 hours. But feels worse / crushing. At the same time thinking “dont marry her.” I was previously engaged. Broke it off because of the same feeling/thought. Did my list and thought about it a lot. How I felt during our interactions not including sex. Called the marriage off. It was a good call. Did it the second engagement but I didn’t get the cons. Nothing that set off alarms that I used to check my gut feeling. I just chalked it off …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 08:23 PM
5

Yeah. My gut told me. Then I laid everything out factually and it didn’t add up- so I pushed ahead despite my gut feeling. No smoking, no drugs, worked, had reliable transportation, going to college, kind, attractive, ok with my micro pp, had values, got my dick hard just by being around her, kind family, dressed mostly conservative, loved kids and pets. I listened the first time and saved me. Didn’t save me the second time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:33 PM
10

I’m not in any hurry for another round of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:39 PM
3

I’d rather be a poor, peaceful man than live with someone’s boot on my neck in a sea of gold. Learned in my old age that peace is worth a lot to me. No nagging, no yelling.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 01:49 AM
2

We age like fine wine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 09:08 AM
5

Hire a PI? Although, I have learned that women become really sneaky about cheating and will find a way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 08:18 AM
1

Also learn you’ll need to accept she’s no longer with you. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Delete everything of her from your life. Makes it easier. Just start fresh man. If you have the opportunity to, consider yourself lucky. A lot of us have kids that tie us together.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:35 AM
1

Hobbies: 1. Games 2. Cars 3. DIY around the house/apartment 4. Learn a new skill 5. Go back to school 6. Start a business. New friends: 1. Start talking to people. Everyone. In passing, I acknowledge them: “howdy!” “Excuse me, darling/love.” “Hey boss,…” 2. Groom yourself. So you aren’t stinky. 3. Be friendly. I talk with a higher tone. Less threatening. My lower tone is deep and may be off putting. 4. It gets easier with practice 5. Remember peoples names. Use their names when greeting them. “H…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:33 AM
8

Find a hobby, exercise and don’t do drugs
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 09:07 PM
6

Your kids know the truth. Eventually they’ll remember and act upon it. Just have to have faith they will. When that time happens, there’s going to be a whole different level of judgement for the person lying. My little one is scarily smart about what’s happening between me and her mom.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 03:44 PM
2

Pic of the heart? I get the “with love” but why the polygonal shape?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 04:08 AM
5

It’s a long road ahead man. Get a hobby. Stay away from drugs.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 08:56 AM
2

As someone that was falsely accused of this- I really would’ve liked any form of punishment. Instead of nothing. The damage that we see as guys happens quickly and people don’t forget once you’ve been labeled that way. Basically now I’m in the thought process that at anytime someone could say it and basically screw my life over. If proven false, it still fucked my life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:05 PM
2

Oh yeah, we can’t control it but the happier mom is- whatever the reason, our kids will be happier. Hopefully.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:05 PM
4

I wouldn’t want the place where my son stays going through that. I’d be worried she takes her anger on him whether neglecting him, drinking heavily or something other than being a good mom. Even my ex, I wish her the best. Not because of any simping but the world could use happier people and she’s got my daughter. I want my daughter to be in the best home possible. The grass isn’t always greener. It usually isn’t. Some people like the thrill of the chase.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:33 PM
11

What I learned: fuck the system. If I had the opportunity, I’d never had to learn the hard ways the system can fuck men over for nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:24 AM
0

Apparently the gas station pills got some strong shit in them. So they actually work. Go figure. I had taken some Delta 8. Took about 2 hours but it was like a machine during the time. My everything hurt- abs, ass, thighs, arms.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 12:50 AM
5

I mean, from my point of view: she’s his problem now. I wish them the best because if it’s not going good that means my little one will see problems. But I was serious when I told her that if he messed with our little one, I don’t mind going to prison for her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:25 PM
2

But would it have been better to let him be with her only? You probably helped balanced and shielded him from the BS and punishment your son would’ve taken. I’ve heard of stories where the mom would punish the son or daughter since they can’t attack the husband
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 09:49 PM
2

I’m not.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 08:56 PM
4

I’m sorry boss. I don’t know how much truth it holds but from what I’ve been told: 1. Gym (confidence, physical health, challenges) 2. Church (faith, purpose, community) 3. Hiking (nature, mindfulness, peace) 4. Hobbies (new skills, confidence, acceptance of failing) I’ve migrated to “Gym” but a buddy of mine with a shockingly familiar past migrated to “Church”. I deleted my social media accounts and it was a weird feeling at first but I found comfort in not having it. I felt unplugged from ever…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:52 AM
7

I wasn’t like this at first. But now I’m constantly thinking that people are going to fuck me over some way and I have to eliminate as much chance as possible. I’m going above and beyond to try to reduce the risk and damage. If I had the money I’d buy a cabin in the woods, electric fence, no trespassing signs and fuck all for anyone else. Feels like the only way I’d have peace.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 04:15 AM
5

I only knew when it was about to come up in court — and was told about it before it was asked by a lawyer on the stand. So yeah. But looking back and she knew of how to hide things on her cellphone. She had told me that snap chat deletes messages and other things. And she’s not really a cellphone / tech savvy person like that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 04:13 AM
9

I think this includes us, now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 02:21 AM
3

12 years flies by fast man. Too fast. I catch myself remembering all the good times when i catch myself not busy with work.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 08:38 PM
3

It’s so easy for the worst scenario to happen, too.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 08:34 PM
10

To feed the biological urge? Nope. Using them just for a wet hole? Nope. Caring about her otherwise, trusting her, actively engaging with her? Definitely
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 07:38 PM
2

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that thought this. That now knowing I thought this makes me more upset that it’s that much of a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 10:10 PM
5

The last part was key. People start to take you seriously when you’ve got a lawyer. It’s why, despite the cost, I’ve actually been able to get answers. When I was trying to do it myself you’d get ignored, run around. You also tend to learn just how fucked the law is for us men. I’ll never remarry knowing it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:07 AM
11

Never?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:51 PM
11

Imma tell you. My little girl and I were driving along and this brat popped some hard hitting questions. I forget I was talking to a 7 year old. Me being me- I did my best to answer and not to let on to how I felt about situations. She even picked up on the tone I was trying to hide from her. Smart kid. My point is: they know so much more than they let on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:43 AM
1

It’s like writing a corporate email in your “fuck your feelings” voice. Then having to rewrite it in the “I want to keep my job” voice.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:53 AM
9

After my first I can’t even think about any relationship like that anymore. It’s basically all transactional for me at this point. Not for “love” or anything like that anymore. They had something I want, I had something they wanted. It sounds so warped compared to why I got married the first time but live and let learn I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 10:57 PM
2

Happy cake day!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:05 PM
7

Artists gotta have a new method of selling paintings. Can’t hate the game. I should look into buying a painting.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:05 PM
1

Just sounds like she was trying to play the field and make him feel better about it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:55 AM
3

Yeah I’m not a big fan of the app. But I’m also not dating either. But the fact that women could have a dossier on men makes it even more transactional than dating seems to be these days. If we had a “coffee” app, you could be sure the app would be labeled all the offensive words so quick.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 09:21 PM
2

Oh yeah, it’s just Uber now has “women only drivers” for only “women riders”. But I’d rather have male driver over a woman driver. I get flash backs to holding on to dear life to the “fuck me” handle.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 03:55 AM
1

Yeah basically an app that talking about men they’ve dated, red flags and green flags. It’s a women only app and they have to go through verification to prove they’re a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 03:53 AM
2

I’m part of the tinder community. Don’t threaten me with a good time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 01:07 PM
2

The stock market has more than 1 stock to market.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:35 PM
2

Not all investments go in a straight line up or down. Take a look at Biotech Investments.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:34 PM
-4

Why would he tell her? She wanted the divorce after the money has gone. Now the money came back, I wouldn’t tell her either because that’s what mattered to her. Not sticking through the hard times. All investments are pretty much a gamble. They’re a risk. That’s why there’s the disclaimers before any YouTube videos for financial advice. But “investing” is the adult thing to do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:07 PM
2

I feel somehow more at peace reading this. Awarded! Edit: I can’t give you an award here. I’m going to stalk your profile for any other comment at a different sub and award that one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 12:46 PM
4

Bruh. Whenever I’ve tried to teach my little one about saving her money or try to help her with learning this is exactly it. She’s “homeschooled” and I wonder if it’s doing more harm than good now. Trying to teach saving money: “I want her to be a kid, let her spend her money as she wants right now.” Trying to help with school work: “don’t teach that stuff yet, she’s too young to learn quantum mechanics!” Or “don’t ask her school questions because I haven’t had the time to sit down with her and …
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:13 AM
3

Roommate with tax benefits. He won me over when he said washing car parts in the sink.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:20 PM
5

Your best response: “Ok.” And forget her like a fart in the wind.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 03:51 PM
1

Yes. My Car note is- for a Prius. But you’ve also stated there’s luxuries.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:33 PM
1

I don’t have a brand new iPhone…? And I’m not sure what these luxuries are. Gas?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:31 PM
2

Yeah most of my bad decisions came from trying to help my wife and mom. Car breaks down and that got real costly quick. Without the car there’s no income so I went into the tax fund to pay for the costly repairs.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 02:37 AM
3

I’ve been looking for better work. Not a felon.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 02:33 AM
2

She moved away to her family. I’ve been homeless as a bridge to keep paying bills on time- rent prices in the ghetto is over 1k, been looking for roommate but it’s the same situation 900. The alimony and child support on top of the deck of cards makes it unmathable. I’ve even done some shady work to help out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 02:32 AM
4

No. I wish that was 1680 per month after bills. My car note is 1k, insurance 298, gas 500. I use my car to work. My ridiculous car is a Prius. Not exactly something that people would consider luxury or quick. Yeah I’ve strongly considered just giving back the car but it’s been in a an accident (declared 100% not at fault by both companies) and I’ve been upside down in it because of depreciation. It’s basically worth dirt at the moment :) I’ve actually been looking for W2 work that doesn’t need m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:15 PM
1

Yeah the gross income is what they went by. Not anything else. We’re in separate states and I have 0 visitation
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 12:49 PM
3

Having my little girl and not being a deadbeat dad makes me agreeable to my ex in all ways. When I’m not she won’t let me talk to our daughter for a days, weeks and even a couple months depending on what I had an opinion about. I’m so used to not being agreeable to people that biting my tongue is a challenge. Im not going to say I’m a good man, only that i won’t put up with bullshit from people and drop them faster than a rock when trust is broken. I don’t have time for them. I would’ve filed fo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:20 PM
5

I wanted to fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 02:18 AM
1

A lot of men are seeking overseas where family is first. Passport Bros. I reckon there might be a time when that falls apart and men will just refuse to date because of the huge fuckery we will likely get into. If nothing changes. We’re already seeing now adult men not wanting to date because of it. Because they’re aware of the outcome and the odds are against them. If I had known then I wouldn’t have married or brought a child into the world. I could put on the tin foil hat: Decreased birth rat…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 08:43 AM
1

Man, after my first divorce I’m keeping my sanity clear of all that. I’d rather have a dog or a cat. Both. These days if I get involved with a woman it’s pretty much at the first red flag - I block and just be cordial with them but that’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 04:55 PM
1

Gotcha. We all wish the best. Most of us are, sort of, in the same sinking boat in a shit-filled river. If you don’t have a recovery plan yet, you might want to. I don’t recommend finding it at the bottom of a bottle either. A hobby, gym, something to keep your mind from it. Helps to numb the pain in a less destructive way.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 04:48 AM
1

I’d really suggest you talking to your lawyer about it. Doing physical things may not be the best interest for you in your case beyond just emotional. For example if she cheated on you and you knew and kept being with her it could be twisted that you forgave her. That said, your argument that you want a divorce could be no longer her fault and would be more favorable for her. Also say you and her wanted to be separated years ago (2020, you two had a fight and separated) but kept sleeping togethe…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 04:30 AM
5

Everyone’s relationship is different. But I would strongly urge you to cut that out or just drop the divorce. If it’s purely physical then that’s not good as she’ll dump your ass as quickly as she finds someone else- or likes to play the field with you on the bench. Putting you on the field whenever she’s bored. A woman doesn’t need to do much to get a knight in shining armor. All she needs to say is “I’m having relationship problems.” And the guys will flock to her dms quick. It’s a story as ol…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 02:29 AM
5

Dating apps are pay to win. Older women aren’t the same as younger women either. Dating these days aren’t the same as years ago. Not by a long shot.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 01:30 AM
1

I’m generally okay being alone. I’d adopt a dog as a companion if I was really down about it though. How I deal with it: Gym, alcohol and keeping my mind busy. I’ve turned my introvert self into outgoing person. Talk to anyone about anything. I’m not going back into the dating pool. Fuck. That. I’m not ready to be fucked over twice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 05:42 PM
6

Lawyer up. She’s no longer your friend. But it doesn’t need to be uncivilized. Don’t sleep with her. Clean your social medias- delete if possible. Cause it’s gon’ get rough and everything will be twisted into making you the bad guy. Start working out or getting a hobby. Gaming. Puzzles. Working on a car. Literally anything that brings you joy. Start going out with a friend. Guy, girl, dog… just something social. Hang out and drink a beer around the fireplace.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 09:37 PM
2

I married for love and love of that thickness that made me quiver. She was also nice. But I work a lot and with a child on the way I went into overboard trying to supply enough money to cover all the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:24 AM
5

You’re right. It’s spite, anger and frustration that keeps me going. God won’t let me die easily so I’ll be a thorn in his side until that time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 08:32 AM
2

We fathers are told certain things. I have faith my little girl will ask me questions down the road. When that happens I can tell her what happened. But until she asks me I’ll just attempt to be the best dad and let my kid be a kid.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 08:31 AM
2

It didn’t bother me. I had my fun with that feeling and I’m paying for it dearly. I’m glad not to be on the market anymore to look. Much more peaceful and more fun! Unfortunately, some people mistake my playfulness as “flirting” and then get really upset at rejection. Long story short: I got through it remembering the hell I went through and still going through. Once I did, I slept so good.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 08:47 AM
7

America. It’s an even better story when he would have to pay alimony!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:47 PM
1

What the hell is a “cluster b” person?
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 12:39 PM
6

From my point of view, I had realized the night of getting married. We weren’t sexually compatible. I had to force myself to orgasm, even gone as far as to think of other people. Sex was bad. She didn’t like going down on me, she didn’t like me to go down on her unless very specific conditions were met. But afterwards, I was trying to get my career in order. She would be paranoid about me working long hours. As studying for certificates and costly exams to try to get ahead of the curve wasn’t “w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 05:03 AM
6

You’re a lucky man. At least you have them some of the time. Some of don’t see them at all. That’s not to take away your pain or even diminish it. Just hope that you realize how much you do have and hope you take advantage of it for us that can’t. Cherish it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 07:34 PM
6

Talk to your lawyer about options. Not her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:32 PM
4

Young women and older women have different preferences for men.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:18 PM
1

Bp?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:21 AM
5

It’s not just me… and that’s really the fundamental issue. She can cheat on you, get caught and still win by making you pay alimony and child support. For men this pretty devastating as we don’t usually have a large social structure to rely on. We’re told to suck it up and that no one cares. I’m just rambling now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 04:09 AM
10

I would recommend against it. Even with a prenup- unless you get a lawyer who knows how to create a prenup that will probably hold up in court. Some prenups don’t hold up in court. Knowing what I know now and the pain and just how fucked the system is against men as a whole. Fuck. Imagine everything you’ve worked for ripped from your hands. Do you feel like starting over from nothing? Do you like being homeless (think of it as camping… without a tent.) and if you don’t pay you’ll be thrown into …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 03:51 AM
-1

The gym. Drinking. Fucking. Work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 09:59 PM
3

I didn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 09:38 PM
8

At least she wasn’t Lorena Bobbitt Silver lining.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 04:01 AM
3

… yeah. I know how that feels. It feels pretty fucking good.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 01:51 AM
1

Separate?
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 10:59 PM
6

That’s fresh man. You’re in like minded company. I’d recommend getting a hair cut, hot shave, dress yourself up. Makes you feel like a crisp dollar afterwards instead of soggy boob money.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 04:26 AM
4

That sounds like a perfect avenue for them to explore. Imagine them advertising Walmart “heart emoji”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 03:18 AM
2

26 hours away. Yes. It’s fucking horrible not to hug the one person that really gets excited and loves when I walk into the room. I try not to think about it because it’s depressing and… I do not good things when I’m that state of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:12 AM
3

I wouldn't. If the lawyer has taught me anything: She's not your friend. She's your adversary. People will do what they can to fuck people over, even people they once called family. So generally when this happens I've heard horror stories of Domestic Violence being used. She might be recording as well to provide proof of the sex. No audio, so she'll be asking you to "harder" and such. Any bruises you leave from the rough sex. Can't happen to you? You're not the only man to think this and die on …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 04:41 AM
1

This is what my lawyer told me. Essentially everything you’ve done or said will be use against you to paint a picture about your character. Social media is a bad thing for people who go to courts for or against them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 04:08 PM
2

Red flags: - if they have an onlyfans. Use for fun, not investment women. - if they don’t like splitting the check, they want you for food.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 01:22 AM
0

I identify as a Blue-Footed Booby.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:28 PM
1

Because my grandparents raised me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:23 PM
2

From my experience they tend to go to church for "God will forgive me" like it's a get out of jail free card. They can keep doing whatever they're doing as long as they believe in god's forgiveness. But I'mma tell you what. They're the best ones if you're looking for just fun, in all sorts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:01 PM
1

Me: I went to the gym much more. The hurt and anger power many of my workouts. Also loud music. A hot shower afterward and I felt better. Focused on myself and bettering my finances. It comes to the point where you stop caring in the same way. The hurt fades- it doesn’t disappear, but it no longer takes control of you as it did. Now years later, I hope she finds someone that makes her truly happy. I have no I’ll will, hatred or anger towards her. We’re all humans trying to do the best we can in …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 07:49 AM
2

Getting snipped and just having fun. You are right with crazy and entitled, in my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 07:03 AM
1

I don't think there's anything wrong with what their standards are. I would like also like to find a loyal woman who doesn't smoke and doesn't go to church. because if it's anything life has taught me, the church crowd seem to be the worst. Fun in bed, but worst to date.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 06:25 AM
6

Bros. I've thought about this, but the thought of a Male's penis just doesn't do it for me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 06:23 AM
5

DV?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 05:47 PM
5

I’d be thrilled for more time with my kid. Let her do what she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 02:22 AM
15

I couldn't sleep without thinking she was sneaking behind my back. I filed. Best nights sleep I had for months.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 05:31 PM
6

Sounds like a manipulation tactic to me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 03:42 PM
1

Oh yeah, I still think my ex is attractive. And she's the mother of my child, so she's doubly so. I'll admit that we've slept together a couple times afterwards... But as "Everything She Wants" said it aptly: "If my best isn't good enough, then how can it be good enough for two?" If you're a guy and you're working on yourself, it seems like you've increased your attractiveness a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 08:41 AM
2

I have a lady that's making it very well known she wants me just short of a freaking neon sign. But I message my ex "happy thanksgiving" is equal to setting off a nuclear bomb. Then I remember why I don't have any romantic interest in any women.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 06:25 AM
1

Ignore it my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 05:46 AM
1

Have night terrors every night, waking to check to see if she’s still there. Being told it’s not my business. When I filed, was the best sleep I had for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 09:05 AM
4

As republican as that sounds, I’d have to agree. Some things are deeper than politics and we’re all still animals in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:21 AM
2

I tried to stick it out. It cemented that we shouldn’t be together. I don’t hate her or anything. I wish her the best… probably because I want my daughter to have only the best. Wanting I’ll on my ex means my daughter might see things I don’t want her to. I really shouldn’t have tried. I don’t know really. I can say I tried. That’s about it. It was hell waking up every other hour with nightmares. My first real sleep came the night I filed.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:17 AM
7

She slept with multiple people while we tried to work on it. It only came out because her mom was going to say something in court— and it “wasn’t my business” to know. Tried to work through it but I kept waking up to thoughts she was doing something and what else did she not tell me because “not your business” I filed in a month after trying. I only tried because we have a little girl. Which is the hardest part about it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 08:05 PM
1

Fil?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 07:49 AM
1

You're right. Frequency of Sex isn't a good reason for marriage. Good sex, or rather their preferences or fetishes. Sex is one reason, just not the only and definitely not the most important.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 07:32 PM
0

I already went through a dead bedroom- it’s how I ended up here. In the good times sex was plentiful like alcohol at a college party. And if she wants to scratch that itch, I’m the safest bet. At least I’m good for one thing. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:00 AM
1

I'm well aware of that fact. But it helps get more of it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 08:35 PM
1

Sex
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 01:33 PM
1

Hi Steve! I wouldn't beg for her to stay. If she wants a separation. Give that to her. You shouldn't force someone to be in a relationship with you. Doing that is much more unhealthy to you. My wife was unhappy, I tried to keep her around in any means. I was unhappy as hell trying to be different on top of my job and trying to get a promotion. In the end I wasn't able to do either because I was spread too thinly. After I filed. Man. It hurt for a while but I'm actually much more happier not havi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 01:47 PM
1

Income Creep is a real thing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 04:15 PM
3

Take kids with you. How else are they going to learn how to swear when you hit your knuckles for the 10th time installing new brake pads?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:55 PM
3

Do it my dude. She’s a reminder of good times and bad, but memories of days gone past. It made moving on much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 05:28 PM
27

Us ugly folk don’t get FWBs.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 03:52 AM
6

He’s earn my black card for 10 minutes for that remark.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 05:07 AM
1

dude, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 07:57 PM
5

It's a pretty popular fetish from both sides. It's part of the reason why I'd like to get snipped because in the heat of the moment.. well. Reason and Logic be damned.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 04:34 PM
1

I already have one. Yeah, I had a friend that said one of her suitors had the snip and didn't look his way for marriage. But she still keeps him around for fun. Army wives man. Jeez. Having a kid is so much more expensive. The cost of getting the snip could be considered pennies compared to the monetary and the emotional. I also just don't want to bring a child into the world in that circumstance.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 04:25 PM
7

“It’s none of your business.” It’s her to go phrase when I hit the mail on the head. I’ve since stopped caring.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 05:54 PM
3

Eh. If it happens. It happens. I’m not exactly going out and about with a goal to find me a wife. I’m just focused on myself. Finances, health, work. Apparently doing that has made me a lot more attractive. I had a lady friend at work stand by me while she was smoking and started to cuddle up to me. And not just her, either. I’ve noticed glances. Either I’m that fugly or something’s gotten better. 😂 But I think that since I filed for it, I was prepared for the depression and the physical pain. I…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 04:17 PM
5

I don’t see the problem if she’s an adult. Any age is okay. You’re not dating anyone but the one person so they’re opinion should matter. Anyways, as I’ve been learning age is just a number. Doesn’t really tell you anything about the person.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 02:48 AM
3

I'd be so pissed off if I had to split a business with someone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 06:36 PM
1

Yeah, I've been hanging out with a buddy of mine. we go to the movies. We seen Moonfall... It wasn't too bad and we got reclining seats with food delivered to us. Went to dinner. It was a good time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 05:19 PM
1

I work two full time jobs. On my "Down time", I prefer to sleep, look at possible investments, go over my banking information. I love to go to the Gym. I just don't make the time to do it these days. I really enjoy coffee and trying to eat right but right now my focus is decreasing my debt. That said, I have found a new love of going out to eat at places. I'm homeless (by choice). At 38, I think it's sort of a good thing I'm able to attract youngish women. I've slept with a few. Which lead me to…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 05:13 PM
2

Men, we can age like fine wine.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 05:06 PM
1

1
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 07:06 PM
3

I would wait until your divorce is settled, then find a place to buy. Rent until then. If you buy before you'll probably going to need to sell it right back on the market.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 01:42 AM
12

You don't need validation from anyone. Just keep on doing what you're doing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 01:41 AM
10

Don't. ​ If she can't hold down a stable income or doesn't work. Do not marry her. under any circumstance. Why? I work two full time minimum wage jobs. One of my jobs goes straight to her. Want to know how soul-killing is it to work 90 hours (commuting) and half of that time /money goes to someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 05:18 PM
1

I didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 11:59 PM
1

I don't follow rich or celebrity news because they don't have the same rules or laws us average people. I couldn't care less about their personal life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 11:57 PM
3

I remember my ex fiance's dad telling me that a prenup is for wealthy people. Poor people don't need it. In hindsight, that's horrible ducking advice and realize he was trying to set his daughter up for success no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 11:55 PM
3

It’s been about 5 months. But I call almost everyday. I work too full time jobs so I’m pretty ducking tired most of the time. I presume the deadbeats do it because they get caught up in their stuff. And sometimes the mother is also to blame so yo cope they try not to acknowledge that they have a kid. Or they don’t want a child in the first place
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 03:20 PM
7

“It’s non of your business” instead of lies.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 04:22 AM
7

Nah. I don't hate women. I just had a recent 'fling', if you will. I think I much rather not have anymore of those and stay to myself. I'm reminded by the financial troubles I'm already in thanks to my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 01:05 AM
2

Gentlemen. I really think we would be happier swinging below our league. Or at least in a league that considers us "out of their league." My ex easily found someone the moment it got rough, started talking to him, poof. Soon afterwards, moved to another state. Then to another state for another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 05:00 PM
9

The gym has been the most therapeutic place for me. The iron never lies to me. The feeling of the pump, how everything just feels better. I can work through all my feelings at the gym. Anger, sadness, depression, happiness,… and I don’t have to “connect” to any other human. Apparently to get the most out of normal therapy you have to form a bond with a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:46 AM
4

Family Lawyer. Not just a "General" lawyer. You need a specialist that deals with all that on a daily basis.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 03:14 AM
11

I hope that it works out for you. But from what it's reading this may very well come to bite you in the butt. You've shown your hand too soon. Getting actual adultry evidence may be harder as both parties are now probably scrubbing proof that it happened. What evidence do you have of adultry other than a warm hug and a kiss? Do you have pictures of them in the act? How about text messages or emails about their sexual happenings? Your tracking someone else's car (not your property). Depends on th…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:12 PM
3

It gives you leverage, but the source of leverage may not be held up in court and instead come to bite OP in the butt. If someone's cheating you could probably assume that the divorce is grounds on adultry. But all he's got is possibly illegally obtained video evidence of a man hugging and kissing his wife. Not direct evidence of sex between the two such as video or photos of the two in the act. He could try to find circumstantial evidence, but it'll be harder to make a case for. When they seper…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:08 PM
6

Like Hotantipasta stated, it's dependent on the state for any car that isn't yours. In this case, STBX's car. Especially with AirTags now in the public eye, a lot of people are realizing laws about tracking people may or may not be legal in their state. It is generally illegal to track a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse in their car.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:02 PM
4

I have. I’ve also considered trying to buy a new life like you see people do on TV— but I know it won’t be as simple as that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 09:33 AM
31

Weddings and marriages are too high risk for men these days. I wouldn’t have if I had known how much of a headache it could be- and has been. I pay my child support. The only way I can pay my child support is by having a second full time job. I’m also homeless in my car. Which then got into the child support calculations, causing me to pay much more. I work 90 hours a week (commute including), sleep for 5 hours a day to exist because of it. If I get a better job (somehow), it’ll then come back t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 02:27 AM
2

Family lawyer man. I really think you should. I spoke to a buddy of mine who is one. He probably could’ve turned a lot of things differently for me. I don’t want to see another dad go through heart ache if I can help it. I’m not at all suggesting my friend and wouldn’t share his information anyways. He just recently retired from practicing. But the conversations we had after the fact opened my eyes that not all lawyers are the same and tricks of the trade so to speak.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 09:41 PM
3

Well, as a male - we're battling up hill when it comes to children. Not all of us are deadbeats. Like I stated, if one child is causing her stress then there's a good argument that having any child could cause her too much stress and then you'd have to prove that she would be an unfit mother. But that's a really big hill. You fighting for you children matters. I don't know you or yours situation but the court does attempt to keep what's in the best interest of the child above all. You saying tha…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 07:26 PM
3

If her mental health is the reasoning for her not to have one child. Why would her mental health allow her to keep another child— what I mean is. If she’s incapable of having a child due to her breakdowns, wouldn’t said breakdowns possibly cause danger to the older child with her? I’d search to keep both children. Unless you don’t want both children.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 06:56 PM
6

Are you me? What cans and amp/dac? Schiit jouteheim and Th900 & hd800s As far as the topic goes. After my wife cheated on me. I don’t even have the desire for human relationships. I may joke about wanting it. But the actual thought disgusts me because it has been nothing but a nightmare and continues to be so.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 08:06 AM
3

I’ve made the holidays all about me since there’s no one else to be there for. Do whatever you’ve been meaning to do. Even if that’s just catching up on sleep. Rented a movie I’ve been meaning to watch, ate good food, drunk a bottle of wine, watched some anime, played a couple games.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:26 AM
6

Bruh. We're sperm donors. Not fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 02:04 PM
2

You might try a companion. Taking care of a life did me a lot of good. Motivation to keep going for a soul that needs me. Workout. Weights and metal. We get endorphins when working out, I think.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 06:41 AM
3

Get a pet. I’ve lost interest in romantics after my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 08:33 PM
1

This. I never got “I’m sorry” only “it’s your fault for working long hours, studying, etc.” or “you should’ve known better.” Even as most people she tells the story to side with me, even her friends. You’re not getting a heart felt apology.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 08:57 PM
2

I hate to join the train but whenever I was with my wife, my money diminished far more quickly than it was replenished - I'm still trying to cover all the debt.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 09:08 AM
2

I'd go as far as to have your own credit card to pay for anything that is above and beyond. Use it only for children expenses. Sports, Clothing, Activities, Meals. So when an adjustment is due, you can provide proof of it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 04:55 PM
2

I didn’t read the entire thing but I read “she wants me back” nein!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 05:15 PM
1

I don’t consider it wasted now. I got married had a lovely child. Not everyone can say they have done that. While not perfect knowing that type of love between a parent and a child is so much more rewarding even if for the short term.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 01:20 PM
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