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SnowOnCinders Archive

View 5 posts and 59 comments by SnowOnCinders on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

You do not have sex before or without being in a committed relationship. Bingo! I would also say not just committed relationship, but when you also feel like you have properly vetted the guy, like meeting his friends and really being part of his life in a way that’s unmistakably serious and not just “casual”.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/26 10:43 PM
19

But the best way to filter the wrong kinds of men out is to ask them straight up, what are you looking for, if we were in a relationship, would you etc.. I get this sentiment, but as my female friends have pointed out, men will tell you what you want to hear, especially if they’re there for one thing. I think the smarter thing is simply to hold off on having sex until you’re in an exclusive relationship, and share that boundary early before things escalate. If a guy isn’t there for the right rea…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/26 10:41 PM
5

This is one of these situations where the first advice is to consider walking away, given you are in your 30s, and presumably want a stable life partner, and likely marriage and kids. He has shown you multiple times that he does not hold his promises or values you enough to take the relationship seriously and end his porn addiction, emotional infidelity, and who knows what else. You are in your 30s and dating this man for three whole years. At this point, if marriage and kids is your end goal, i…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/25 02:45 PM
1

100% this! You have to strive to get to a point where you are so approachable/well-groomed/fit that guys are wanting to ask you out on the street.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/25 07:58 PM
17

me: Finally someone with the same brainrot me: So dinner at mine or yours? I think the problem is that you’re being kind of too forward about meeting up before a connection was even established. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give a guy a push sometimes to move things along, but this is way too forward after just exchanging a single message!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/25 04:36 PM
3

It doesn’t sound like you’re into him. From personal experience, this is a bit like having the “ick” — you don’t actually find him that attractive at a primal level. That is not a good thing for your relationship. I have previously been in a relationship where I thought that all these little things were really unattractive (voice, certain behaviors, mannerisms). I ended it because I realized I wasn’t that attracted to the guy to begin with, both physically and emotionally (he also had some “femi…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 01:30 AM
1

Yeah that’s kind of a problem if you’re a baptized Christian to begin with….
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/25 07:28 PM
3

Second this comment as a married Christian woman! Remember, God does warn us to not be unequally yoked in marriage. Although, the believing wife can lead an unbeliever to the faith if she is a strong Christian. If you are not confident about how you will able to persist in the faith or instill it to your children when married to this man… do not “settle” because you are worried about your age. Have faith that the Lord will lead you to a husband who will walk together with you in Christ, not pull…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/25 12:26 AM
6

The substack article itself is spot on. It very aptly notes that there is simply no social or moral incentive structure for women to adopt the “red pill woman” mindset en masse. Even though collectively women can’t profit from the RPW strategy, individual women very much can use it to their advantage when it comes to dating and securing a husband that they can love, respect, and submit to.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 06:04 PM
7

You are asking for a guy not to have sex with you (or, presumably, anyone else) before he marries you. Um, the fuck WHAT? No pre-marital sex is a tall enough order as it is – what guy is going to want to wait and wife you up when other guys didn’t have to do either? I can 100% second this based on my Christian husband’s perspective. He said that no self-respecting guy (himself included) is going to wait to have sex till marriage with a woman who has easily slept with other guys before (even just…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/25 05:18 PM
2

Yes, same! We have definitely started the domino effect among our friends 😁
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 10:03 PM
2

Yes! One of my husband’s friends finally proposed to his GF of 3+ years soon after our wedding. Another friend who’s been dating his GF for 5 years is finally thinking of proposing soon. And we know another couple who have been dating for 5 years and the guy isn’t even thinking of proposing even though his girlfriend definitely wants to get married. And everyone is in their 30s! It’s so wild!
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 03:04 PM
3

I think most modern people would consider this fast, although I think this is a reasonable timeline especially if you are both in your mid-20s or older.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 01:43 AM
7

The fastest I’ve known is a friend who got engaged to her husband 7 months after they met on an online dating app. They were married a year later due to uncertainties in wedding things due to COVID. Very Catholic couple but they have a wonderful marriage and a sweet little kid. My husband and I got engaged after 1 year and 9 months and that was quick because a lot of our friends were still not engaged after 3-4 years of dating at that point…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 01:41 AM
6

I’m a woman and I find this video the lowest kind of propaganda trash. It’s like the screenwriter created the script by asking chatGPT to come up with a short clip that would enrage feminists and throw in as many low level tropes as possible. They just love to subvert everything that is traditional: femininity, traditional gender roles, religion, moral values. It’s always by using the most fringe and exaggerated examples to promote their distorted agendas (e.g. showing abusive men as representat…
/r/MensRights21/03/25 05:11 PM
1

If you mean men who zealously consume red pill content online in the PUA sphere, no. My husband is black pill in some things and red pill in many, but only because he is realistic and, for lack of a better word, based about traditional gender roles and how the world works in general. Not because he follows some podcast that tells him how to pick up women easily or preaches the self-destructive AWALT philosophy.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 08:17 PM
2

to boycott another gender is the most stupid thing ever, so they are boycotting ALL men because Donald Trump won? what about the men who voted for harris? I think it’s because women probably find the conservative guys more attractive on average (unsurprisingly) and they know this subconsciously (huge denial about it though), so 4B is their preventative measure against “accidentally” sleeping with conservative-leaning guys. It’s hilarious because they are not self aware enough to understand what …
/r/MensRights12/11/24 08:41 PM
1

which I think is pretty attainable and realistic for my looks. This might be your problem. Focusing on your looks as the chief source of what will attract a man and make him want to stay is a big mistake. Beauty and a fit body most definitely will make most men attracted to you and want to sleep with you, but what about you will make the type of man you want want to commit to you for the long term? That’s the question to ask. Think hard about the non-physical qualities of the type of woman that …
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 05:45 PM
3

But 40 year old men, of any great value are NOT looking for other 40 year old men. I think you meant women in the end. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 06:43 PM
2

Take this with a grain of salt, as YMMV, but in my experience I had the best results when I stepped back and let the guy pursue me for the first few dates. This shows you whether he’s truly interested in YOU and is likely in it for something serious (not a causation, rather a correlation) or he is just going along for the ride when a new cute girl is offering a date. My man planned the first few dates - I hinted at what I’d want to do for the fourth date, but I was never involved in actually pla…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 05:17 PM
11

Exactly this. I’m not sure how dating a guy almost twice your age who has been twice-divorced and regularly sees “sugar babies” for sex is inspirational. I’m actually worried for OP.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 01:48 PM
18

Got banned from r/relationships for suggesting that an OP posts her question here for responses that aren’t just “dump him”… not a permanent ban though, so I guess there is still hope for me to be, uh, re-educated! ;)
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/23 03:15 AM
5

Yeah, I hope she’s shorter than 5’4” (164cm) cause anything above that and her “target” 50kg weight would make her literally clinically underweight.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 03:51 PM
1

I am inclined to disagree with this post somewhat. I’ve been doing Casey Ho’s (blogilates) 10 minute ab workouts religiously since maybe 2017 and I definitely lost weight in those areas in the first year (hips, waist, stomach) and developed the abs that these girls have in just a couple years (Casey, Chloe Ting, etc) despite not having started out like that. (While I was never overweight, and I am thicker-boned and more hourglass shaped, and had a couple extra pounds around the hips/sides area).…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/23 01:24 PM
1

Thank you all! Love to keep the realism alive. 😊
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/23 03:22 PM
3

One only has to look at threads like this to see the ugly effect on not only dating, but family dynamics and marriage relationships: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/128mg5m/found_out_my_32m_wife_32f_did_porn_before_we/ Unless we as a society decide to do something about it, I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of this dysfunction. :(
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/23 03:19 PM
1

What do you mean when you say “developing feelings”? What was the dynamic like before you two before this incident, especially while you were single vs in relationships?
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 12:33 AM
19

IMHO, to me it sounds like this guy was a beta orbiter for OP for 3 years (which is the “red flag” that you’re talking about). I think part of her lack of attraction for him stems from a lack of respect (due to that reason) and there’s no amount of “attuning” to desires and whatnot that can get it back.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 12:25 AM
5

I’m sorry but to be completely frank, if a man is into you he will set a date and time to see you. A man who is into you won’t want to risk the chance that another man will lock down your affections before he does (even if subconsciously). If you need to make excuses for why he’s not initiating plans with you after you’ve made it very clear that you’re amenable to that (dropping the handkerchief) - do yourself a favor and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 08:32 PM
2

As a woman who is transitioning from hardcore physics and engineering to a more “creative” profession, I wholly support the sentiments in this post. I am endlessly thankful for the scientific thinking I developed while getting a prestigious STEM degree, but ultimately I feel more passionate about more creative jobs in writing, teaching, and possibly entrepreneurship than just being a scientist in a company, a “cog in a machine” who can easily be offshored, or a professor whose whole life revolve…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/23 07:18 PM
3

I am also banned despite never having posted. I’ve never even opened the sub until today lol
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 09:16 AM
1

Srsly, if this is your biggest problem, you don't have any problems. Thanks for your thoughts. That’s a good perspective!!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 11:51 PM
2

Thank you for the wise words!!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 11:50 PM
1

Yes we have lots of intellectual conversations about a multitude of topics! We also talk a lot about politics and current events and spend a lot of time being silly together. We share a few common hobbies we can do together but also have vastly different hobbies which is awesome and keeps things fresh!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 11:49 PM
1

Thanks so much for your input! This is so helpful :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 11:47 PM
2

That is so wholesome!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/22 04:03 AM
2

She might not like him. But I think he still likes her and he might know she doesn't return his feelings, so he doesn't feel comfortable talking about you to her. Yes this is how a male friend of mine acted when he had a gf but was into me. He never talked about his gf and never wanted to in my presence. The Nordic girl comment about breaking up out of the blue is super super suspect. That's the only real red flag for me to, but it's pretty big. I can't imagine that a man who is in love with a w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/22 12:56 AM
1

So well put! I have seen this happen to guy friends who become like a "dog on the leash" when it comes to what the GF wants. E.g. going to her place at 1am because she is feeling needy even though he has work the next day, ghosting friend event invites because he doesn't want to "neglect" his GF (even though he spends 24/7 with her)... The list goes on. I watch that and think that I want a guy who will have some stoicism and masculine self respect!
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 05:53 PM
5

I actually wonder if a lot of times they do it to compensate the woman's insecurities. I have more than enough reason to believe that some women actually prompt their guy to do stuff like this to feel secure in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 12:52 PM
2

I definitely agree appearances encourage commitment! There is a certain way I dress femininely which my boyfriend LOVES and can't believe that I dress exactly in the way which he finds sexy. He loves that I do my hair and nails and have good skin and also am slim and eat healthily, he has specifically said that the fact I put so much effort into those things makes me more feminine and womanly in his eyes and triggers his protective instinct. Though, I have to say that the day my man asked me to …
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/22 03:27 PM
5

Because we are both quite busy we prioritize each other for the free time we do have (I have much less time than him at the moment finishing a degree). Even though he has a lot of male friends he loves to spend time with, he always prioritizes time with me no matter what. Surprises me with dates he knows I would love, acts of service whenever I need his help, and actually tells me the most romantic and sweetest things about how much I mean to him everytime we see each other. This man is the swee…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/22 03:09 PM
4

I think it's weird that we're programmed to think that someone who stands up for her own interests in an RPW way is a "bitch". When you're not sleeping with a guy with no offer of commitment, that's not being a "bitch", that's just self-love and foresight.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 12:37 PM
9

100% this, I am baffled at any advice here that doesn't involve cutting this guy off completely
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 12:55 PM
34

OK but how do they even know you are RP? I haven't discussed being RP with any of my friends, and whenever a pertinent topic comes up I don't become an RP evangelist. I just speak my mind politely and curtly if asked directly about my opinion, otherwise I nod along and STFU. The only person who really knows that I am RP is my boyfriend and it's through my actions, not because I told him (and he loves it lol). I don't see why it should be a huge deal unless you openly go on about doing things for…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 02:08 PM
0

Idk why people are trying to undermine your perspective here, I personally think it's a valid one. I also think that this line from OP is strange, maybe OP can elaborate why she thinks that sex is really the only thing differentiating a romantic relationship and a close friendship: All of these things can be done with anyone, but sex is the one thing that you ONLY share with your spouse/partner. I would not say you can get the same type of emotional connection with a platonic friend as you shoul…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 03:16 PM
3

I'm curious to hear more. I think sex is super important and have literally broken up with someone because of lack of sexual compatibiliy. But even I wouldn't say it's #1, I think it's a part of a larger overall physical+emotional attraction (we all know sex isn't just physical for most women...).
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:44 PM
7

also interested in answers to this question, maybe you should make a separate thread? :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:41 PM
3

I love this. Wonderful message to young women and really good advice. This is really spot on : Find out what makes others happy so they’ll want to be near you.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/21 06:48 AM
1

Hi, I posted this thread a while back (almost a month ago!) about hypergamy in a relationship with my boyfriend of 4 months (and ex who I got together with). Your response (https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q5d6gk/comment/hg59pbp/) was very thorough and helpful but I wanted to clarify some points. I deleted my original post because it had some revealing information and my bf/my friends browse reddit too. You write about the danger of overestimating your RMV/SMV and dumping a perfect…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/21 06:39 PM
1

Wow. This is textbook and good on the boyfriend for not putting up with that.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/21 05:05 PM
15

I see your point. But it's not only celebs/uber rich. As I said, I have seen men in real life leave their wives & kids for a younger and hotter woman who are "in need" of their protection (this includes a family friend who is an computer scientist, and a professor from my university who is well known in his field, but not ridiculously wealthy or mainstream). Though I guess it's possible that their marriage wasn't ideal of course. Interestingly, I also know of several women from my mom's generati…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 03:00 AM
3

I had a guy once talk for a bit about being super wealthy, and then, without a thought, offer his Venmo when I offered to pay for my drink. Not a good sign. I'd say him picking up the order is a sign of interest on the first date? Otherwise if he takes you up on your offer to pay may mean he doesn't see you as anything but friends.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 01:57 PM
1

I deleted the original post because it had way too many personal identifiers, but I want to thank you for the comment and answer your questions... >RMV wise, what do you bring? I am a traditional/conservative woman with family values. I don't follow the latest feminist trends, I don't think women and men are "equal", I try to cultivate femininity and feminine charm in myself.. I am intelligent but also childlike in my awe of the world and optimism and positivity, while still being a realist... I…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 06:28 PM
1

Thanks, that's definitely very reasonable. But if you had all of these long-term options with HVM, why did you choose to go back to an ex that you left because you felt he was deeply unsatisfactory? The HVM I've met were mostly during the time I was already dating someone else long-term (whether my ex or another ex before that ). I am not the type of person who would ditch an LTR partner I am (generally) happy with immediately because I feel some butterflies with someone else. During the past 1 …
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 05:09 PM
2

Thanks for the perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 09:35 PM
1

Hypergamy is monogamy, so if you find and get the best man you can get your hands on, it renders all other men obsolete to you and makes you fiercely loyal to your best option. Great way to put it and I think this is why I keep having 2nd thoughts here that I'm "settling" or entertaining other options. On the other hand, many women, due to an inflated assessment of their SMV/RMV, wrongly believe that the best man they can get is a man who is out of their league I have had men who are masculine H…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 09:34 PM
1

Thanks for the reasonable perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 09:29 PM
1

Definitely. I don't think that I am a perfect person or faultless in a relationship. I would say my faults are time management (not necessarily relationship related but it does make me late for dates/hangouts often), and being an emotional "open book", including with guys... But I have a lot of classic RPW qualities (e.g. good cook and baker, take care of myself, like feminine clothes and books and movies, don't bitch about things, generally very patient, value family, very low N count, not neur…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 04:19 PM
-6

It's not that I particularly like the new guy, I've only just met him. But at least physically, yes I felt attracted to him and "excited" about the prospect of something happening. I think my worry is that I shouldn't be already entertaining other options if the guy I'm dating is truly a good fit for me. Like, in a proper dynamic the man I'm dating should inspire commitment in me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 06:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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