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Spaceman7Spiff Archive

View 2 posts and 141 comments by Spaceman7Spiff on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

That's fair.
/r/seduction26/12/19 06:37 PM
4

You have some valid points here, I think but let me tell you my experience. I dated a traditionally "hot" girl for almost 2 years. She was a very nice girl but we had virtually no chemistry. We couldn't hold a conversation, sex was terrible, nothing in common, etc. We were getting close to the marriage talk phase of the relationship when I decided it was best to break it off. Years later, I went on a very casual date with a girl who, by most accounts, would be considered completely unattractive.…
/r/seduction26/12/19 03:24 PM
2

No, that's definitely not what I'm talking about. I mean he might offer a wishy-washy hint of an opinion and then completely abandon it at the first sign of a dissenting opinion. It's a very people-pleasy kind of behavior.
/r/seduction25/11/19 01:47 AM
3

I've been reading all the other replies to this and I have a thought that hasn't been addressed: I have a friend. Mid-twenties, tall, unquestionably attractive, friendly, social, good job, own home, cool car, plenty of money... terrible luck with women. His problem is that he has basically no opinion on anything. He is so desperate for everyone's approval that he will avoid any inkling of conflict in any conversation. On a surface-level, he carries himself with confidence but as soon as you get …
/r/seduction23/11/19 02:48 PM
2

I have mixed feelings about this. I would like to live in a world where ghosting is all but extinct. To me, it's just cowardly and immature behavior. I would like to be given the common courtesy of at least a polite rejection via text. But I also understand why it has become so prevalent: there are too many whiney baby-men that can't take rejection with grace and respect. So yes, I would like an alternative to ghosting but I don't think it will ever gain traction until the majority of men can ha…
/r/seduction21/11/19 04:44 PM
5

I think we agree on the concepts but our threshold for emotional investment seems to be different. Meh, agree to disagree...
/r/seduction18/07/19 04:55 PM
6

Again, you're not wrong. But just because OP says, "damn, she was exactly my kind of cute..." doesn't mean he is overly investing. He liked her, the interaction went well, it didn't work out, he let it go. What's the problem? There's a fine line between maintaining your cool and becoming a sociopath. If you never allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions, you cease to be a real person.
/r/seduction18/07/19 04:43 PM
14

I mean technically, you're not wrong but it isn't realistic to expect everyone to NEVER get a crush on a cute girl. That's like saying, "Hey! Don't enjoy food that tastes good. You can eat it but you better not love it!"
/r/seduction18/07/19 03:53 PM
15

As others have said: this stuff doesn't just happen overnight but the biggest thing is to learn how to bring your thoughts, intentions, and actions into congruence. Girls get creeped out when they can't tell what you really want... they can sense that you are being deceptive or are hiding something and that makes them uncomfortable. So maybe start by making a firm decision on what you really want from a particular girl, and then just openly and unashamedly go for it. That doesn't mean you have t…
/r/seduction11/07/19 01:57 PM
3

You're not wrong but all I'm saying is calling instead of texting is not necessarily the best course of action for every person in every situation.
/r/seduction13/06/19 03:47 PM
8

To be honest, I would really like to agree with you as I find the texting game to be really annoying. Especially when you are trying to coordinate plans. However, in this day and age, I don't think calling a girl who isn't yet your girlfriend is socially acceptable unless you are a very specific type of guy and she is a very specific type of girl. (Which seems to be the case for OP) I dont think I'd be far off by guessing that the majority of this community is between the ages of 20-26 and has, …
/r/seduction13/06/19 01:51 PM
4

This goes for everything: guitar, motorcycle, etc. If you pick up a hobby for the validation of others, it will always be obvious.
/r/seduction18/03/19 09:38 PM
6

Why do you lack self-confidence and what are you going to do to gain it? When I went through this I had to take a long hard look at myself and decide which problems in my life were my fault and/or something I could fix and which were out of my control. In doing this, I realized that everyone has a past that has set them up to be lacking in something. At this point, I could either decide that my life was fucked and there was nothing I could do about it, or I could begin systematically re-wiring t…
/r/seduction25/01/19 07:13 PM
10

He's frustrated because the things that he is trying to teach can only be properly learned and practiced by someone with self-confidence. He can't give you self-confidence; you have to find it in yourself through hard work and being honest with yourself... but you refuse to do that.
/r/seduction25/01/19 06:28 PM
1

I believe in the "one" but the things I learned in this community have taught me that it's my responsibility to find and choose her rather than the universe's will to force us together, regardless of effort.
/r/seduction18/01/19 04:13 PM
1

When I say 'predictable' I mean predictable from a social-norm standpoint. So bars and clubs at night are fairly predictable but malls and parks in the day are not.
/r/seduction18/01/19 04:07 PM
1

I think people should practice in more predictable environments.
/r/seduction17/01/19 11:50 PM
22

Just because you practice "game" doesn't mean you need to start your own YouTube channel. 😉 That was mostly a joke but here's two that are serious. I think that a lot of guys that are following the status quo and not getting results need to take a break and perhaps focus on personal hobbies rather than to keep approaching. Also I think going out specifically to day game is weird and pretty cringey unless you are exceptionally good.
/r/seduction17/01/19 07:29 PM
6

Although it may not be directly pointing the finger at guys like us, a large portion of the general public can't tell the difference between the guy in the commercial and this community and that is a problem for the way we do things. Personally, I think we are heading into a world where public cold approaches are 100% taboo. The only appropriate way for men and women to talk to each other will be if they are introduced to each other by a mutual acquaintance or by using a dating app.
/r/seduction16/01/19 06:19 PM
1

This is just good for life in general. 90% of the bullshit your phone thinks you need to know about is completely worthless.
/r/seduction13/01/19 04:40 PM
11

Smiles, bright eyes, teasing, light touching. Ask him about his hobbies/passions... Its mostly about being friendly and open.
/r/seduction08/11/18 07:19 PM
1

Set it up and go on the damn date. Maybe keep a contingency plan in your back pocket in case she ghosts you but theres no reason not to at least see where it goes...
/r/seduction31/10/18 02:57 PM
1

You're good dude. You do you. The only thing I will say is do things that build your self-confidence and social skills because they will come in handy later. Otherwise, live your life the way you want to. Nobody else has it figured out either, despite what they might tell you.
/r/seduction21/10/18 02:35 PM
12

This is probably going to sound like a humble brag but most of this seems pretty obvious to me, personally. Am I not the norm here? I've always thought of sex as being an emotional activity. If I wanted to just have an awesome orgasm, I could do it a lot better by masturbating. The joy of sex comes from sharing it with someone else.
/r/seduction09/10/18 05:41 PM
1

The general consensus here is correct. Love what you love and own it openly. But what's also interesting is that women generally don't give a flying fuck about traditionally sexy interests either (motorcycles, mechanical ability, guitars). So on the one hand, there is no one magic bullet hobby that will attract all women but on the other hand, being really passionate about collecting Doctor Strange comics is just as attractive as being really passionate about fixing old cars so you have a lot of…
/r/seduction15/05/18 01:52 PM
1

I just listened to a new episode of "Last Podcast on the Left" and they were loosely exploring the world of Incels and also lightly touched on the PUA community and we were all kind of roped into the same group of freaks. I think if you look at some of the old PUA material, the terminology, and just the basic premise of a pickup artist, it sounds pretty damning. "HB 1-10, negging, last minute resistance, alpha, beta, kino"... it's all very alien and not very sexy. Everyone who reads this sub kno…
/r/seduction09/05/18 09:20 PM
1

They're just people... they have their own set of problems and pursuits. Definitely try to get yourself closer to them and their friends but it's not their job to find you sexual/romantic prospects. Maybe try to host a party and encourage people to bring other cool people...
/r/seduction20/02/18 03:45 PM
4

Follow whichever theories or techniques make the most sense to you until you see for yourself whether or not they actually work, in practice and then make adjustments as necessary.
/r/seduction08/01/18 07:34 PM
3

It's been interesting to watch the pickup/seduction hive mind evolve over the years. Some of the old reference materials are starting to look a little dated and some of the techniques and routines are becoming laughably cliché. However, the core concepts that have always been there are still the gold standard: improve yourself for yourself, participate in hobbies and activities that boost your self-confidence, understand basic social interactions, practice A LOT.
/r/seduction27/12/17 03:36 PM
3

The point that a lot of people miss here is that improving your life/money/career/body/etc. is NOT, in itself, what gets you results, but rather the boost in attitude you get when you make those changes.
/r/seduction27/12/17 03:26 PM
1

Currently in a LTR but I always found that when a girl offered her Snapchat as an alternative to a phone number, she was a super flakey type. Everyone is different though so if it works for you, great. Definitely wouldn't bet on getting a date over Snapchat any time soon though.
/r/seduction24/12/17 03:50 PM
1

Think about the people you admire. And when I say that, I don't mean people that society admires or guys that get a lot of girls, I mean people that you think are cool for reasons that you think matter. Now think about things that you like about yourself. What are you proud of? What makes you a good person? What things are you ashamed of? If you were someone else, would you want to hang out with a guy like you? Why or why not? Do things that emphasize your positive traits while simultaneously em…
/r/seduction06/11/17 03:02 PM
3

Yeah, really. "I'm not creative enough to come up with my own ideas or adventures but if you can't treat me like princess, then why are you even talking to me?"
/r/seduction27/10/17 08:56 PM
9

Currently in a LTR. I remember feeling like this, exactly. So many lame people out there that have no real opinion or independent thoughts... but it does make the times you find them, that much sweeter.
/r/seduction26/10/17 10:54 PM
59

"Not all who wander are lost." "Live, love laugh." "I love sleep." "I like guys who make me laugh." "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
/r/seduction26/10/17 10:51 PM
1

My assessment is that this is the type of girl that really enjoys male attention. She only knows how to communicate with them by flirting as it gets the best results, but in her mind, anything less than bf/gf status or actually having sex, means you are just friends. Now, as for what you should do about it: forget about her as a romantic prospect, it's not going to happen. If you were going to get together, it would have happened by now. She's not worth the headache, trust me.
/r/seduction16/10/17 01:50 PM
1

You and her are done. She practically spelled it out for you. (Which, props to her for not ghosting you) The ONLY thing to do now is to work on letting it go... Whatever that means for you. But don't think for a second that you still have a chance. You're done.
/r/seduction08/08/17 02:36 PM
24

I don't think you were ever in the friend zone. It sounds like she has always liked you about as much as you like her. If you want to date her, just fucking do it... This requires a lot less thought than you're giving it. The only caution I would give you is to ease into the relationship; don't all of a sudden, profess your love like Shakespeare. Just keep hanging out and having sex and it'll naturally get there
/r/seduction26/07/17 02:51 PM
1

You have reasonable expectations and a good head on your shoulders but you also lack experience. You say you're a virgin and have only had one kiss and a "relationship." By those terms, you have never been in a real relationship and therefore can only guess at what you really want. On top of that, you're only 23 so you have a ton of time to meet lots of girls and see what you like and don't. My advice, in regard to your question, is to do what you feel. You don't have to be a bona fide PUA with …
/r/seduction19/07/17 05:35 PM
1

Regarding my remark on doing whatever you want: a lot of people misinterpret "be yourself" as "be yourself and everyone will love you." Which is far from accurate so I was trying to make that distinction.
/r/seduction06/06/17 05:56 PM
6

Okay here's the thing about alcohol: You absolutely do not have to learn to like it if you don't want to. However, it will make social situations more tricky because A) you won't get the liquid-courage effect, B) People may find it suspicious that you're in a bar but not drinking. And C) Taking shots with people is often seen as a sign of mutual respect or a way to bond with that person. Dancing is 90% about getting over yourself. It has a lot more to do with not giving a shit how you look rathe…
/r/seduction06/06/17 01:43 PM
3

The 2nd date is a good time to invite her along to participate in one of your hobbies. Bowling or the arcade is also not a bad idea. The point is that you should be looking for something that the two of you can do together so you can really get to know each other and build a bond.
/r/seduction02/06/17 02:03 PM
3

After getting blown off a few dozen times you'll realize if you don't try to set up a date almost immediately, you're only wasting your time. Messaging = Nothing Meeting = Reality
/r/seduction01/06/17 04:38 AM
1

This may come across harsh but I think at least a few of the commenters here are tiptoe-ing around it: You seem kinda immature. Which is fine because you're only 19 and god knows 19 year old girls aren't mature either. I remember younger, less mature girls often (not always) being pretty timid, shy and unwilling to step outside their comfort zone which is basically the polar opposite of your personality as you describe it. What I think you should try to do is (like others here have mentioned) tr…
/r/seduction31/05/17 05:26 PM
32

The theory is that you should be a self-assured man that is going to have fun with or without the girl. It sounds like maybe you were a little nervous on your date so you stiffened up and the vibe went dry. I struggle with this if I'm with someone who is nervous or stand-off-ish (is that a word?) But the goal should be to loosen up, be somewhere you want to be (don't go for coffee if you don't like coffee) and think about how great your life is. If you can do that and be congruent, you should im…
/r/seduction30/05/17 11:49 AM
1

So fetch!
/r/seduction12/04/17 01:44 PM
3

The bottom line is that you are never going to get where you want to be with the mindset you have. As I read your post, frankly, I feel repulsed and I'm not saying that to be mean but if that's the vibe you're giving off, then of course nobody is going to respect you. A lot of guys will parrot back the same old PUA advice, "hit the gym, hit the bars, stop drinking." This advice, while generally good, is not one-size-fits-all. I think you should be engaging in activities that make you feel fulfil…
/r/seduction11/04/17 04:08 PM
1

Yeah you're done. Reaching out would only make things worse.
/r/seduction26/03/17 04:32 PM
2

"...most guys cannot be socially smooth and have an enviable career..." Most guys WILL not be socially smooth and have an enviable career. Most guys absolutely CAN. It is very difficult and, hell, I'm no prince charming, but I absolutely know that I could be if I applied myself properly. There is no magic potion or incantation that will make my life better, regardless of circumstances. There will ALWAYS be some people who have it better than others (get all the girls, jobs, looks, opportunities)…
/r/seduction28/02/17 05:40 PM
3

I think you should just explain the situation to her: you always had feelings for her but the timing didn't work out. Tell her that you're willing to try a romantic relationship but you can't be "just friends." If she's cool, she'll understand and if not she's immature and unrealistic and that's not someone you can sustain a relationship with anyway.
/r/seduction18/02/17 05:01 PM
3

She is begging you to do something. Put your arm around her, take her hand, whatever you want. JUST DON'T DO NOTHING.
/r/seduction14/02/17 10:32 PM
3

First of all, I don't think it's all that unusual for her to start asking questions. The two of you had already set up the rhythm of your relationship and suddenly that changes and you become relatively distant. To her, it might look like a sign of cheating. I think if this is a relationship that you're serious about, you should sit down and explain what you've been reading and how you are trying to become a better man. If she's a reasonable person, she'll be cool about it and you can continue c…
/r/seduction03/02/17 01:20 AM
32

Do not cheat on her. I'm not telling you to ignore your feelings but cheating and frankly, even going on dates with other women while in a LTR is fucked. (Unless previously arranged) I realize that everyone is different but lying and cheating is my hard line in the sand. The way I see it, your behavior is that of a fucking coward. She's been this wonderful perfect girlfriend who would do anything for you and you are out dating other girls because you're too afraid of confrontation. Fucking man u…
/r/seduction17/01/17 05:18 PM
6

This post and subsequent discussion illustrates the power (and danger?) of nuanced points and seeing the bigger picture. If you take bite-sized advice like "be high-energy" at face value, yeah, you're probably going to act like a spaz and have a bad time. But if you take it with other advice like "be congruent" and "be present," it starts to paint a bigger and more accurate picture of how an attractive man should behave.
/r/seduction12/01/17 05:55 PM
10

Well the silver lining here is that next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you will remember how shitty it felt last time when you failed to act. That is a powerful motivator. Maybe next time you can just tell yourself, "I'm just going to say hi and see what she says." Then if it goes well you can try to flirt a little bit. Then if that goes well you might ask her to get a coffee or beer. The point is, just take baby steps and give yourself a pat on the back. This shit is tough and …
/r/seduction08/01/17 05:53 PM
58

Building on this: A girl you see regularly (like in a group of friends) should be a much more relaxed process. The reasons being: 1) You have time on your side 2) You want the transition from friendship to romance to be smooth and gradual so that it feels organic and not forced. 3) If things aren't working out, you can dial it back and transition back to just friends without too much awkwardness. The only other thing I might add is to be extremely cautious if it's a coworker. Most people say "do…
/r/seduction29/12/16 05:14 PM
18

This needs to be read by everyone, especially newbies. This is the real, underlying truth behind "game," stated eloquently and succinctly. Well done.
/r/seduction27/12/16 03:21 PM
–

In my experience, most women like to be tossed around and manhandled to some degree. So try to approach the situation like you're in charge. Sex is inherently very animalistic so embrace it. You don't have to do anything crazy but it's certainly not the time to be shy or timid. If you feel like changing positions, don't ask her permission, just move her. Also, it's very important to relax and try to emphasize your passion or lust for her. Don't try to "do" moves, but rather focus on how you feel…
/r/seduction21/12/16 03:53 PM
3

It sure looks like it... but even if they aren't, it seems like the relationship has ceased being enjoyable. From my perspective, the smart thing to do would be to end it. "Real women make your dick hard, not your life." -unknown
/r/seduction19/12/16 12:26 AM
1

The way you describe yourself, it sounds like you just sit and stare at a wall all the time. How are you currently spending your free time? What do you do for work or what are you studying in school? Do you find your work or study fulfilling? Why or why not? You need to dissect your opinions on things and figure out the core of what you enjoy or don't enjoy. Or perhaps you have something preventing you from feeling passion (like depression potentially) make sure you have a healthy lifestyle: die…
/r/seduction05/12/16 04:54 PM
6

Work on not feeling sorry for yourself. If you were a HBD 10 would you want to hang out with a dude who wrote posts like this on reddit? Even if you think you think you're making all the right moves, your bad attitude will still shine through in a glaringly obvious way to her. However, I will not try to change your mind. I think you should take a break from pursuing women. Work through some of your issues, instead. Find out what it's going to take to make yourself more confident and do it. I rea…
/r/seduction25/11/16 04:30 PM
5

There was a PUA I watched years ago (Richard La Ruina I think) that had a tool for conversation. FORD: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. I find these topics to be good jumping off points for any conversation because you can be as shallow or deep as you or she wants to take it and it really gives you a comprehensive perspective on who she is as a person in a natural, non-interrogation style format. I'm a deep conversationalist (mainly from years of being stuck in my head) so I like to take …
/r/seduction17/11/16 02:30 PM
1

The thing you learn in game... or more accurately, life in general. Is that NOTHING is black and white. Looks do matter, but often not as much or in the same ways that people generally assume. The other thing I think people will learn is that men and women aren't as different from each other as we want to believe. We ALL want to end up with a smoking hot partner who's also kind, smart and funny and is also great in bed. Honestly, who doesn't want that?! The FIRST thing people notice are looks bu…
/r/seduction16/11/16 03:21 PM
2

I know it's tough but you have to try to direct your attention to other things. You're having a party tonight? Think about all the friends you're going to see... think about the consistently good things in your life. Appreciate what you have instead of worrying about what may or may not be. If she's the only thing on your radar, you're gonna have a bad time. Also, quit with the "hey :)" texts. That shit is weak. Text only to set up dates or if you just HAVE to tell her something.
/r/seduction26/10/16 09:02 PM
3

I don't want to discourage guys from putting themselves out there but this was not a good example of a positive interaction and I hope nobody takes it as such. OP should use this footage as a tool for critique and analysis but never try to sell it as a good approach.
/r/seduction25/10/16 03:26 PM
1

In this community, everyone wants a manifesto. "Just do this" or "just say that." Good game isn't something you can fake or mimic, it comes from the true belief that you are a good man and have genuinely positive intentions for yourself and the girl. The words you say are a byproduct of this and are therefore almost meaningless. Good PUAs understand this on a deep level but it's very difficult to teach someone. It has to be learned through experience which is why approaching (and fucking up) rea…
/r/seduction25/10/16 03:21 PM
2

I can definitely see your side (and I like the bad credit analogy. Well played) so I will agree to disagree. One last thing, though: It's not about who has the power. It's about two people forming a mutually beneficial relationship. When you worry too much about who has the power, you're not going to allow yourself to be vulnerable which is a crucial part of any relationship- romantic or otherwise.
/r/seduction12/10/16 08:51 PM
2

I agree in general but why not just leave the door open? If you're getting a vibe that says she's not interested... just cease and desist. No need to spam them and no need to get bitter about it. Just shrug and walk away. If she texts you again later, then hey, alright! If not, whatever. I equate spamming with that annoying car salesman that just won't take a hint. Maybe I wasn't sure if I wanted the car at first but after being pestered, I'm sure as hell not going to buy from him. Now what if I…
/r/seduction12/10/16 07:00 PM
1

It sounds to me like all is well. I have a theory for why she may have been cold to you the second night: you got her friends number as well and were texting them both and treating them both the same (at least in her eyes). It sounds silly but she's human and maybe thought you were trying to play both of them or wasn't interested at all. She then changed her tune when you asked her to do something alone. Again, just a theory. And yeah, I'm not a big fan of the self-appointed wingman either, shit…
/r/seduction18/09/16 04:13 PM
3

You crack me up. In the dating world I feel like a guy on a 50cc moped that just has to hold the throttle wide open praying I make it to the next green light before being overtaken. And you're like a guy in a corvette stopped at a green light screaming at the steering wheel, "WHAT DO I DO?!" Lol glad I could help though. Go forth and conquer!
/r/seduction14/09/16 05:21 PM
4

Wow man... you are definitely a unique individual. You are a naturally attractive guy that has a tough time escalating. It's like the opposite of me (and probably most of us) but yeah I think you're getting the idea. The bubble example is probably the most descriptive. Imagine you're chatting with a girl at the club. Pay super close attention to her body language... things like eyes, lips, hands... even what direction her hips are facing. Next, try easing toward her barely at all over the course…
/r/seduction14/09/16 04:53 PM
1

Just looking at this wall of text regarding a girl should be a pretty good indication that it's not worth your time or effort. Don't be shitty or call her out or anything but just walk away. Real women make your dick hard, not your life.
/r/seduction28/08/16 09:02 PM
1

In my experience, looks matter to both genders about the same with guys putting just a tad more importance on it. I've been with all kinds of girls (skinny, fat, pretty, ugly, smart, dumb...) and what I find attractive is a woman that knows how to "wield" her sexuality. For example, I dated a thin, beautiful, but shy and kinda dumb girl for a couple years. The sex was just awful. She didn't know how to wield the power she posessed. I am currently seeing a girl that would be considered unattracti…
/r/seduction25/08/16 01:46 PM
3

There's plenty of good advice here but I have an addendum... if you care enough about this problem to post on reddit about it, you're already investing way more than these girls are. In my experience, anytime that happens, the relationship is doomed because you will start behaving as the "seller" rather than the "buyer." So to sum it up, give her one or two chances to reciprocate interest but if she flakes or ignores you for any reason, good or bad, she's just plain not into you- which is fine. …
/r/seduction16/08/16 01:09 PM
3

This is the best advice. Having fun is the key. If you're not having fun, your attitude basically becomes needy as you go from girl to girl saying, "will you help me have fun?" So try to find a way to make going to the bars fun, even if it means not focusing on women for awhile.
/r/seduction07/08/16 05:49 PM
3

Dude, if you read bitter, butt-hurt (and frankly, badly written) articles like this, you're gonna have a bad time.
/r/seduction07/08/16 05:44 PM
1

This phenomenon is very real and the reasons for it described in this thread (personal insecurities, etc.) Are mostly accurate. However... We need to be careful in how we look at the people who "try to bring us down." Realize that these people in your life are not intentionally trying to hurt you or stop you from being a better person, so to burn bridges with them may not always be necessary. Think back on your own life and I'll bet there was a time when you did the same thing as them to someone…
/r/seduction06/08/16 07:46 PM
17

I'll bet you had some really good advice but all I read was My sister LOVES to receive oral...
/r/seduction22/07/16 12:13 AM
1

I think the question is too simplistic and assumes the guy is going to take whatever he can get. You need to decide what you want from a particular girl and go for that. And if she can't reciprocate for whatever reason, you need to move on.
/r/seduction15/07/16 04:18 AM
6

Building on the other two comments: the women that say "have your shit together" are clearly looking for a LTR and if a guy with ADHD or autism is also looking for a LTR, his first priority should be doing whatever it takes to get his life in order. Because if you can't handle independent living, you sure as hell won't be able to handle a LTR.
/r/seduction14/07/16 06:34 PM
3

Definitely yes. Because the formula for self improvement is the same for everyone. If you ask yourself every day, "am I doing everything in my power to be a better person today?" And answer, "yes," you will eventually attract women. It's a complex process and it's not the same journey for everyone but if you truly put in the effort and are patient, you will get better. Edit: also, I don't know you or just how debilitating these "deficiencies" really are but you should never give up on improving …
/r/seduction02/07/16 05:20 PM
5

This is the first thing newbies should read.
/r/seduction01/07/16 05:29 PM
3

Building on this... I've learned that all the so-called "panty-droppers" you hear about like good looks, being funny, having money, riding a motorcycle, or being a good texter are nothing but perks to a girl. You wont be attractive enough on these things alone. This is why inner game is so crucial. You have to believe that even if you were stripped of all the external things you think girls like, you would still be the kind of man who could build it all back up again. THAT is what women find att…
/r/seduction01/07/16 05:20 PM
6

My personal rule of thumb is to only text when I have something worth saying. If you're sitting there counting the minutes between texts and who texted last and how many characters they used, you're gonna have a bad time. As for your specific situation, ask the other girl out immediately and expect to actually see neither of them because chances are, one or both of them is going to flake... but to summarize: make plans with every girl as soon as is convenient, keep your schedule open for the agr…
/r/seduction27/06/16 11:49 PM
7

Thank you for posting this. It's all too true. Girls like this will sneak up on you. I dated a girl last year just like this that made my life a living hell. Before I finally ended it, she had my world so upside-down that I honestly believed I was a horrible person at my core. The moral of the story is, if you see these red flags, FUCKING RUN. On her good days, she will be the coolest girl you've ever met but she will only keep up this behavior long enough to keep you on the hook. It's all smoke…
/r/seduction14/06/16 01:55 PM
1

I use many techniques... some work better than others at different times and we are all different so maybe none will work for you but here are some things I do... Hobbies and passions are huge for me. I have done some things in my life that I am wildly proud of and I try to remind myself of them often. I make a point to consciously congratulate myself for small victories. Every seemingly-trivial thing you do like shoot a friendly smile at a stranger just because is still a step in the right dire…
/r/seduction06/06/16 08:25 PM
5

Let me put it to you this way: she said "I know what you're trying to and it's not going to work..." so was she really rejecting you or was she rejecting the countless others that had done that same song-and-dance to her before? Who knows why she's not interested... maybe she just got through a painful breakup, maybe she was waaaay behind on whatever she was working on... hell, maybe someone just farted before you walked up. Or maybe she's just a bitch. The point is, YOU HAVE to believe that you…
/r/seduction05/06/16 05:11 PM
5

Interesting analyzation. I have some thoughts though... First of all, that shit is at best, 50% fake so I wouldn't read too much into it. Secondly, the goal of "seduction" or "pickup" etc. is to gain success with women by being your true, unadulterated, unfiltered self. Now, actually having success with women hinges on the idea that deep down, you truly are a quality guy which, let's face it, may not be true. Which is where "inner game" and self-improvement come in to pick up the slack and craft…
/r/seduction01/06/16 12:26 AM
4

Mainly, I just mean that I'm generally hornier so my general intentions become less romantic and more lustful. Which is good for me because I have a bad habit of trying to make a gf out of any girl I meet who shows interest.
/r/seduction19/05/16 01:14 PM
16

I'm like you. I prefer to know a girl on a deeper level before I'm all that interested in sex. But let me ask you this: how often do you masturbate? I cut my regimen down from once a day to once a week and have noticed a major difference in how I look at women.
/r/seduction18/05/16 06:54 PM
1

That's the real challenge isn't it? We all go through it. I find it helps to go on dates that you actually want to go to. I don't know about you, but I don't "go have coffee" with my friends, I go to my regular dive bar where they know me and have a beer so that's also where I tend to take girls. It really helps keep me calm by making me feel like I'm home and among friends. I realize this may not apply for everyone but I'm sure there is something you like to do that you could involve her in... …
/r/seduction21/04/16 11:24 PM
1

I'm probably beating a dead horse at this point but it seems to me that the biggest benefit of "getting your life in order" is the confidence and personal pride it cultivates. When you feel good about where you are in life, that positive attitude will shine through and help you "game" more effectively.
/r/seduction16/04/16 12:08 AM
3

That's a tough call. Although, here's something to think about: I matched on Tinder with a girl that I didn't find physically attractive at all but we liked a shitload of the same bands (which I find is super rare on tinder) So we ended up going out for a beer and sure enough, not physically attractive at all. But we had a lot in common and she's now one of my best friends. Not only that, but she's introduced me to other great people... All I'm saying is, not every girl you go on a date with has…
/r/seduction24/02/16 01:37 AM
1

It's hard to answer because I wasn't there. It really depends almost completely on the events leading up to that moment. Some guys here are saying you should have just gone for it... and they're right IF and ONLY IF you and she had properly escalated physically to a point where going for a kiss was natural. Otherwise, your approach would have probably come off awkward, unnatural and maybe a little desperate.
/r/seduction16/02/16 03:48 AM
6

The reason for this could be a vast number of things. With the information you provided I can only guess a few. The most likely reason would be you probably didn't escalate physically throughout the date which is why it felt so awkward to kiss her. Remember that when you escalate, you're also warming yourself up, not just her. I've also been on dates where she and I just didn't hit it off enough and there just was no attraction... no big deal... shrug it off and move on. Or if none of these thin…
/r/seduction15/02/16 05:13 PM
3

Looks like you have plenty of good advice here but I'll throw some on the pile too... First, I don't really like weed either but I've smoked a few times. I also don't like clubs (shitty music, sweaty assholes, sticky floors, no conversation) but I still have a few drinks and go dancing from time to time. I'm also not really into hookups but I do like sex and I'll have sex with someone who is generally cool and attractive. My point is that you seem a little rigid in your opinions... maybe you sho…
/r/seduction14/01/16 01:47 PM
2

Damn you basically described the perfect woman. One thing I have found to be rare is... I don't know if you call it "well adjusted" or just being normal but I have difficulty finding women that stay in the middle ground on most things. For example, "lady in the street, freak in the sheets." Or is strong, smart and independent but still lets me take her out for a nice dinner... or even the flip side of that coin: sometimes happily picks up the check without being asked to. All things in moderatio…
/r/seduction13/01/16 12:28 AM
4

I have two playlists. "Chill Music" which is mainly softer rock; light, not really romantic... chill music. The other is "Chill Music w/extra Cheese" which is a lot of the same stuff with a few somewhat corny romantic songs thrown in. I choose one of these based on the mood. The key is to play what you like, don't forget to seduce yourself. If you care to know, some favorites of mine are "Hey" by The Pixies, "Make It Wit Chu" by Queens of the Stone Age and "D'yer Mak'er" by Led Zeppelin. I fucki…
/r/seduction07/01/16 02:19 PM
1

Wow... I can't wait to get on your level. If that had happened to me, I'd have felt like a fucking idiot. Sigh... some day...
/r/seduction03/01/16 09:34 PM
2

Agreed. It's sad that the pickup community truly is a positive thing but just like any other community, a few people fuck up, then mainstream takes notice, exaggerates what happened and we all look like a bunch of creepers.
/r/seduction14/12/15 02:01 PM
5

Relax. A good kiss starts with being genuinely in the moment. It sounds corny but allow yourself to express your passion, love, lust, playfulness or whatever through your mouth. Focus on how you feel about her and express it. You've probably seen enough movies/tv/porn/whatever to know what the actual actions look like so your subconscious will fill in the blanks. The overall point is that if you try to control it, it probably won't be very good.
/r/seduction10/12/15 03:22 AM
3

I would start by taking a look at yourself. What do you really enjoy? What is pure happiness for you? For me (and maybe it's you too) it's riding motorcycles. Not a damn thing in this world could ever take away the pleasure I get from riding; it's pure, incorruptible happiness. Find whatever makes you feel like that and invest more free time in it.
/r/seduction21/10/15 03:18 PM
26

I'm going to go against the grain here and say stop chasing women. You have obviously studied and practiced and trained and tried as much and as hard as you can and its still not working... so I'd say just stop trying so hard. Find everything else in life you love and focus on that stuff. I'm less than a year younger than you, also ride motorcycles, love music, my friends and family, good beer and I'm also into geeky shit like Batman and Star Wars. I ran the gauntlet of seduction, pickup, and se…
/r/seduction21/10/15 02:48 AM
1

I hear ya... the best thing to do is RELAX. You can't be a cool guy that's at ease if you're tearing yourself up inside trying to micro-manage every little move. Evenphlow, you're never going to be a Better Man if inside you feel Black.
/r/seduction13/10/15 07:41 PM
7

Lots of good advice here. But if you're like me, you will drive yourself batshit crazy trying to find a solution to being flaked on, rejected, ignored, etc. So, that being said, my advice is to keep in mind that more often than not, this is just a part of the game, it happens to LITERALLY EVERYONE more often than we'd care to admit. I know it sucks but IMO the best thing you can do for your sanity is just shrug and say "bitches be cray"
/r/seduction12/10/15 11:11 PM
4

I hate to say it but you might also want to take a break from pursuing women. Get to know yourself better, ask yourself how a woman would make you feel better and answer honestly. Then I would direct you to the old advice, "get hobbies, get busy, work out, eat right, etc." In short, get your personal issues more sorted out. Nobody is attracted to someone they feel sorry for. Don't get down on yourself either, most of us have been there... I sure as hell have.
/r/seduction28/09/15 04:14 PM
4

Building on this, don't underestimate the power of a healthy diet and exercise to help keep your mind clear. Even simple things like a quick 5min jog and replacing soda with water can make you feel like a new man.
/r/seduction28/08/15 03:37 PM
2

The common advice tossed around here is a little bit one-size-fits-all but in reality we are all very different people with different sticking points. I have found that most of the common policies here apply well to highly introverted types but can be a step in the wrong direction for those of us that are already more social/extroverted... for example, "always assume attraction" is bad advice for me personally because I can typically tell when a girl is not interested. I guess my point is, take …
/r/seduction16/08/15 10:56 PM
3

This should probably be in r/relationships. But in my humble opinion, I think you should tell her all of this. It's not fair to her to allow her to think you feel more for her than you do. I've been there, man. It sucks hard but if you truly care about her well-being, she needs to know where you stand.
/r/seduction14/08/15 04:14 PM
1

It's all about having the balls to step up. Learn to love the adrenaline rush. Good job, keep on kicking ass!
/r/seduction14/08/15 01:09 PM
2

Came here to say this. Thank you. (But also, yes good post)
/r/seduction12/08/15 01:16 PM
1

No I'm very aware of why people do it which is why it upsets me so much. I find it extremely selfish and disrespectful. When people do this to each other, they are putting their own situational comfort ahead of another's time and feelings. I don't mean to be all up on my high horse. I've done this before too... but I feel worse about it than if I just tell them ahead of time. On most days, I can just accept this as part of the game but today I guess I'm feelin' sassy haha
/r/seduction13/07/15 07:24 PM
2

First of all: great job out there, you did exactly what we all should do EVERY TIME. Now then...Rant incoming... why do people flake out? I mean maybe her story was true... maybe not but this kinda shit happens way too often. Is it really that hard just to be up front and say you're not interested? I really wish we as a society could just be real with one another; drop all these games we have to play. "You interested? No? Cool. See ya later." "You are? Great! See ya then!" Life could be so simpl…
/r/seduction13/07/15 05:35 PM
4

The hard part of this shit is getting over yourself. Sounds like you've done that. Kudos.
/r/seduction04/07/15 11:19 AM
1

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening...
/r/seduction01/07/15 03:40 PM
1

Personally I can't stand most rap. I do, however, love most rock. I have taken up singing in the car, going to local karaoke nights, and learning a few songs on guitar. So, while I don't think I'll ever start rapping, I definitely agree with what you're saying.
/r/seduction01/07/15 02:18 PM
4

I know that feel bro... maybe try a different tact: focus more attention on remaining relaxed throughout your day. Especially in stressful situations. I have found that it's not that I don't have enough to say, it's that I can't focus on starting a simple conversation because I'm too preoccupied with saying something stupid. I have, over time, proven to myself that I'm a smart, funny, cool guy that loves talking with other smart, funny, cool people. As soon as you relax, you win.
/r/seduction18/06/15 06:30 PM
28

Oooh... that one hits a little close to home
/r/seduction10/05/15 08:34 PM
1

I think you should try to start smaller. Success with women looks like Mt everest to you right now. But before you can climb Mt everest you need to practice on smaller mountains or even just short walks around the block. Start focusing on just carrying yourself with confidence. Improve your posture, pay attention to your facial expressions (ie. Smile more)say hello to randos on the street for no reason. These are the basics to establishing the baseline confidence necessary to go meet cute girls.…
/r/seduction09/05/15 11:10 PM
1

Sorry to dig this up but your comment struck a nerve. I genuinely hope I do not come off as snobby... I never want to be that guy... My issue is not with guys that want to learn how to ride a motorcycle... or play the piano... or learn astro-physics etc. But I am deeply and uncontrollably bothered by people who do things JUST to fit in or look cool or jump on a bandwagon... I know this is something I need to continue to work on but... what can I say, it's a sticking point for me. Again, I apolog…
/r/seduction30/04/15 04:14 AM
-2

Yes and no... yes a man who rides can be attractive but she will quickly sniff out weakness if you ride just to look cool. In fact, I often avoid the subject until after weve gotten to know each other. I truly do ride because I love It but there are a lot of posers out there.
/r/seduction20/04/15 06:58 PM
11

Personally, I think the second date is a good time to show her one of your hobbies. I like motorcycles so I usually suggest we go for a ride.
/r/seduction20/04/15 05:10 PM
1

I know exactly how you feel. (I would even go so far as to say every guy in this sub knows how you feel) BUT I also think that you will eventually learn to save the big romantic gestures until after you're official. Don't get me wrong, girls love that corny shit BUT ONLY after you're dating. If you try it beforehand, it screams desperation and "try-hard"
/r/seduction24/02/15 10:01 PM
3

Ouch man, that sucks. I think what I would do though is stop asking to spend time with her while simultaneously filling your life with new hobbies, activities and just general busywork. Also get out more and try to meet other women. Continue talking to her and being friendly but draw a hard line about just being friends. Treat her no differently than you would one of your guy friends. This does two things: One, it shows her that you don't need her in the slightest and simply like being around he…
/r/seduction24/02/15 04:13 PM
5

Don't be 19. Just kidding... kinda... When I was 19 I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground. These guys all have good advice. I know it's cliche but practice does make perfect. Keep your chin up, nothing's wrong with you, everyone feels that way more often than they'd care to admit.
/r/seduction24/12/14 05:09 AM
6

I can definitely identify with your angry, bitter, and (sorry, but) VICTIM mentality. Getting over this mentality should be your first priority on the path to self-improvement. I don't know if you meditate (truth be told, I don't consistently either) but it can be helpful for tense people like you and me. Another thing you can do is make sure your diet and exercise are healthy. It seemed like bullshit to me when I first heard it, but there is definitely some truth to diet/exercise allowing your …
/r/seduction17/11/14 11:49 PM
1

I dont know how you feel about RSD Tyler (he used to rub me the wrong way no pun intended) but in this video he demonstrates how if YOU think it's weird, it IS weird. It was helpful for me... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx3rkgqTWJ8&list=UUD4xqm6vJ3K4ntppsE1jL4g
/r/seduction21/10/14 02:43 PM
1

You've got to try to stop analyzing it. The more you worry, the less enjoyable it will be. Let yourself enjoy the moment when it comes and don't try too hard. Relax and just do what feels right.
/r/seduction29/08/14 12:35 AM
8

What helps me with it is thinking about how shitty it feels to be laying in bed thinking about missed opportunities. Then compare that feeling to that of getting blown out. Getting blown out never sucks as bad as you think it will but failing to act sucks every time.
/r/seduction19/08/14 04:11 PM
1

Wow... haha... you're welcome. I'm really glad I could help! Also don't be hurt by the fact that nobody gives a shit. Be empowered. If there's one thing I've learned since I started reading all this seduction/pua/self-improvement stuff, it's that sometimes all you really need to do to solve a problem is sort of tilt your head the other way and look at it from a different point of view or "re-frame it" as they say.
/r/seduction06/08/14 04:24 AM
1

When I was 16, i didnt know my ass from my elbow and felt very much the way you describe. I think some of it will just be solved with age and maturity. But if i could go back and tell myself some things they'd be to just relax and take advantage of the time you have to be a shithead teenager. Enjoy and consciously appreciate every little thing thats good in your life. You are smart enough to recognize that you have a problem, now take your first steps to being a man and solve it. Ultimately nobo…
/r/seduction03/08/14 06:32 PM
3

For me, its all about your frame. Ask yourself how youre feeling. "Am i feeling needy? Am i missing something in my life?" these are signs that you may likely come off creepy. "Am i feeling good; strong and abundant?" this greatly reduces the chance of coming off creepy because you will be thinking clearly and making moves that make sense and dont seem forced.
/r/seduction19/07/14 06:36 PM
1

I grew up riding sport quads in the sand dunes. I remember learning to climb hills on one of my first quads and getting pretty upset and stressed out when i couldnt make it up. My dad asked me, "why are you freaking out, this is supposed to be fun. It's a challenge." Fast forward 15 years and I actively seek out the most challenging hills I can find and thorougly enjoy trying to climb them. Even if I dont make it, its still fun as hell. I think about this often and apply it to pickup.
/r/seduction16/07/14 03:49 PM
1

Here's my experience with dance floor situations: I absolutely love music but I grew up on rock. I like listening to music with guitars and lyrics with substance... so, naturally it's difficult for me to get into most (not all, but most) dance tunes. So what I've done is decided to make the whole thing a joke. I go out there and dance around like the white boy that I am. Of course it also helps if you've got a female friend in your group to go out and dance around with to get you started but it'…
/r/seduction30/06/14 05:16 AM
1

I think you need to ask yourself where your feelings for her are coming from. If it is from a place of desperation and neediness, no-go. If it's not... Well then maybe there's a chance. Either way, answer her questions as simply and concisely as possible and then stop talking. Stay on your own path, if she wants to join you on it and youre okay with it, great. But don't go crawling back just because she gave you an invitation.
/r/seduction01/05/14 09:45 PM
2

I like you happyjerk. You live in the real world and accept it in all its ugliness. You dont try to dress it up and tell people that everythings gunna be alright because this is real life. That being said, the only value I can see in some of the pua blogs/videos that push persistence and unapologetic confidence is that it helps to break some of us out of our shells. For instance, all my life I was raised to "sit down, shut up, youre wrong, im right...etc" so for me to adopt a mindset of "i know …
/r/seduction30/04/14 05:49 PM
3

I smell what youre steppin in. I have been kinda going through a similar roller coaster ride. And its still not over. What i have learned though is that i need to hold up my happiness on as many things as possible so that if one of the legs is kicked out from under my chair, theres still several more to keep my ass off the ground. The other thing i do is try not to get overwhelmed by the task of self improvement and instead take everything one day at a time and consciously make the right decisio…
/r/seduction03/04/14 07:57 PM
21

"What? Friends listen to endless love in the dark"
/r/seduction19/03/14 05:36 PM
1

Cool man. Yeah I tend to like Richard La Ruina's methods best... he presents things (basically the same concepts) in a way that seems more subtle and natural.
/r/seduction14/02/14 03:34 AM
6

No I have seen a lot of his material and it's all solid gold-- for the right person.... Which leads me into another thought I've been pondering lately. I feel like a lot of this PUA stuff needs to be fine tuned to one's own personality. Don't get me wrong, I have a sense of humor but his style is just way too over the top for me and honestly if that's what I had to become to be more successful with women, I'd rather die alone.
/r/seduction14/02/14 03:19 AM
1

This is the second time I've watched a "Tyler" video. I do have a lot of respect for the guy but man, he is annoying as fuck.
/r/seduction14/02/14 03:08 AM
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