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Spazzy19 Archive

View 1 posts and 249 comments by Spazzy19 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

ADVICESpazzy19/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 05:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

My ex husband cheated on me. We dated for 2 years while he was in the Marine Corps and saw each other every other weekend minus a 7 month stint to Iraq. We lived 6 hrs apart and met when we were 20. We clicked very well and had similar viewpoints and I loved his family, etc. We were sexually active, and he was very enthusiastic, but I was rebounding from a long-term relationship breakup and also felt something about the sex was just a tad off. It was very carnal and he struggled with adding the …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 09:37 PM
3

Yep. In the past my mother has angrily told me I was selfish for not wanting kids (like she’d get to see them often anyway living on the other side of the country from me), and I told her it was selfish for her to want me to have kids I didn’t want. Why on earth would I want to subject a kid to possible resentment or myself to that situation? It helps now that I’m with a partner who I know is a great father and would supportive, so there’s significantly less fear that the relationship would fall…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/19 06:27 PM
1

I’m 35F and in my previous 10yr marriage we both decided to be CF. I’m now with a wonderful man who has a 10.5yr old daughter and I’m getting to see motherhood through step parenting. I’ve never had a drive to just have kids, though so many people say I’d make a “great mom.” I like my freedom and am not particularly interested in babies etc. Even step parenting, while very fun and satisfying most of the time, can wear on me after awhile. My SO is 43 and fine going either way, though he admits it…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/19 06:08 PM
2

My SO and I brought up the topic after a few weeks of dating since I’d known him previously. I told him I wouldn’t consider engagement, though, until after dating at least 6 months. He understood. He talked to my parents last May and we’ve had numerous discussions, but I guess he’s still working out the “perfect plan.” I told him recently (without making it sound like an ultimatum as much as possible) that I needed that next step by our 2 year mark (Oct) since I’m 35 and he’s 43 and imo be able …
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/19 12:45 AM
5

I always offered, and if my date paid then I would try to pick up drinks or something else later. I was always grateful and considerate, and like many of you, did not order anything I wasn’t willing to pay for myself. My SO desires to pay for the majority of outings, but it’s nice that he can write a lot of it off on business. I always express my gratitude was well. I still offer to pay for various dates and ask how I can contribute toward bigger trips, etc. and he appreciates the gesture. It bo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/19 04:33 PM
2

I’ve paid more attention to the quality of man rather than his skin color, though I do enjoy immersing myself in other cultures. I grew up in the South of the US where race is always on the radar unfortunately. But I ultimately married a Colombian-American man and now am happily dating a Chinese-American man. My SO is definitely more traditional and I respect him greatly.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 07:14 PM
5

Yeah, I am bothered about the financial aspect and I am not even married to him! There is something definitely unsettling about his desire for privacy. I don’t think I could truly fight for what I had with this issue seeming to be a secret. There are too many stories out there about spouses uncovering their partners gambling addictions (or any addiction), affairs, child support payments, second families, or significant credit card debts - all the while believing the partner was being truthful wi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 09:51 PM
9

Personally I would NOT be ok with his reaction to see the statements after he made a comment desiring to save more etc. Demanding financial privacy to me is a red flag that there’s something going on that he wants to hide. How can he expect you to know where to help save money if he’s not being transparent with your financial standings? Perhaps you can broach the topic (I would wait until you are both adjusted to being together again) as a desire to work as a team to save money and lessen financ…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 08:39 PM
3

Communication is important in these situations. I am generally a HL and definitely was in comparison to my former two partners. My ex husband was unfortunately hooked on porn and my last SO was just a little quirky with some OCD things etc. I’m pretty sure I overwhelmed him with my enthusiasm coming out of my previous marriage because I was so excited to finally have a sexual relationship where my needs were taken into consideration and feel desired. He’d sometimes declare in the morning that we…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 10:39 PM
4

I’m nearly done completing a real estate course my SO’s parents asked me to take so that he and I can eventually take over their brokerage in a couple years. It’s been rough balancing it with my job (commuting plus OT the last 9 months), activities with SO, and step parenting, but I’m happy to have another income option too. His parents are thrilled and just love having me around in general. His mom has literally given him several rings to look at and inquires when he’s going to ask, so it makes…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/19 08:46 PM
4

Perhaps she wasn’t always? Or there’s more to a person than the superficial outside characteristics? I look at my SO’s ex-wife who is a high powered, insecure, manipulative tiger mom from my interactions with her. She literally chose her mother (who threatened to commit suicide because some business deal went sideways and because my SO wanted his parents to see their daughter) and he said enough was enough. She’s ok in looks, but he is much better looking. I often am bewildered how they ever dat…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:53 PM
1

I think you’ll need to gauge it more and determine what it means - or ask him to provide you examples of what he defines as “putting him in his place.” Maybe he does mean that literally, or maybe he means that he wants a partner who will challenge him to grow and isn’t afraid of pointing out where he might be steering wrong. My SO and I have never used the phrase “putting me in my place,” (it sounds pretty disrespectful) but I know I do need a man who will kindly remind me when I’m thinking or a…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 05:17 PM
2

Yeah it was definitely tough. We did that for 2 years back in 2004-2006 prior to getting married. I’m not sure I could do the LDR again, but who knows!
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 11:38 PM
1

I used to journal letters to him with pictures of us or magazine cut outs of things he’d love or we wanted to do together and then I gave it to him as a gift when he got deployed to Iraq. Then while he was gone I put together a scrap book of all his pictures he took that were sent back to his units local newspapers and included various events he’d missed (like his brother’s wedding). When he was stateside I kept myself busy with friends and schooling and looked forward to our telephone calls and…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 06:34 PM
3

I initially knew him because he dated my ex husband’s sister from 2011 for about 2.5 years. I always thought he was her coolest boyfriend but we didn’t interact that often since we had our own separate lives. We usually just saw each other at holiday events at my house or for sporadic game nights. After they broke up I didn’t see or hear of him for several years until my ex-SIL mentioned she’d run into him in August 2017. Then coincidentally 3 weeks later I joined a small online dating site and …
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/19 05:43 PM
3

A friend of ours is 6’5” and her husband is 6’6” - she has a rare mutation which resulted in her height, but even her sister is 5’10” or so. In any case, she rocks it confidently and still wears dress pants and blouses for work as an attorney. She wears makeup, her hair is long, gets her nails done and she looks very feminine to me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 10:50 PM
2

I met my ex husband on Emode.com back in 2004 while he was stationed in Haiti. Typically I’d talk to a guy for 2-3 months and exchange more pictures and talked via webcam to show it was him before meeting (I only did this like 2 times anyway and one the guys is still a great friend!). I never dated the other guys I met online as I was looking for friends or wasn’t attracted to them in a romantic fashion. In any case, my ex got back to the US and I met him after corresponding for a month via emai…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/19 09:29 PM
2

Aww this is lovely! My partner spoils me at shower time, too. We sometimes shampoo each other’s hair, but we always wash each other’s backs. We’ll occasionally take turns washing each other head to toe. He sneaks out before I’m done, but he always hands me my towel. afterward he loves to dry my hair. Apparently he’s never desired to dry a partner’s hair, and I certainly have never had one dry my hair so it’s been really nice!
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 06:33 PM
2

I’m lucky that my SO prefers that I instruct him on how I’d like oral, but when we first were together it was hard to take suggestions from him since it felt like I was some how failing to please him otherwise. There were moments I took it personally and wanted to give up and never do it again. He is the first person to get me to come orally let alone on a regular basis. Thankfully practice made for more perfection, especially as we became more familiar with each other’s bodies. It helped to hea…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/19 08:05 AM
5

It doesn’t sound like he respects you whatsoever and he seems extremely selfish. You’re not a doormat to step all over just because you apply RP methods in your life.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/19 09:53 PM
5

You’re kidding yourself... what’s his reasoning for a waning sex drive for you? My ex husband’s sex drive started waning immediately after marriage despite my availability, willing desire, and physical attractiveness. Discovered years later he was hooked on porn and it’d escalated to emotional/physical affairs. He’d suggested half jokingly an open marriage. No thanks. Plus, I only wanted him and the thought that I was great to come home to but not have sex with deeply hurt. You sound like you ar…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/19 04:21 AM
5

Focus on your own value within and what you know you can offer someone. Sure, having a kid and being twice divorced will raise red flags to some, but if various men are willing to look past it and get to know you more, then take that opportunity to utilize your other skills and attributes. To be told you have NO value is inaccurate. I think I’d be more concerned at this rate on vetting the kind of man you DO want and not just accepting or settling men with the pattern you’ve been attracting in t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 05:08 PM
8

Ive been catcalled numerous times but generally by people driving by while I’m walking. I just smile and wave. I’ve had several men pass me and just say “looking good, girl!” Or the like, and I say thanks and carry on. The only rude instance I encountered was years ago driving back to my college and this car full of boys pulled up next to me and one of them made the universal “eat you out” gesture toward me and I ignored him. Generally I just accept them as compliments, but I can see why women g…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 10:05 PM
2

He is a stranger... he keeps a lot hidden and disrespects you and your marriage. If he’d come out right away and just said “I have a problem and enjoy seeking sex from other women” would you have chosen to marry him? You will find that underneath his facade of self confidence and “alpha-ness” is really an insecure, confused individual who likely suffers from lack of worth despite anything you may or done for him to show him otherwise. His choices are not because of you but rather conflict within…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 09:08 PM
1

My only suggestion is to look up resources and materials from COSA which assists partners of sex addicts. This would definitely apply as he’s reaching out to members of both sexes and obviously negatively impacts you. It’s an extremely difficult and painful position to be in and it can help save your sanity.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 08:34 PM
2

If he was faithful to me, then why not? Bisexual people are capable of being loyal partners despite being interested in both sexes. Your husband isn’t... you’re deflecting the real issue of his cheating and desire to cheat with his sexual preferences.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 07:51 PM
14

Aww that is awesome! Congrats!!
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/18 08:38 AM
2

My brother (32) is part owner of an electrical company and he works his butt off. He’s the youngest of the three partners but has been doing for 10 years. He’s definitely not academically inclined, but he’s not stupid. Nor is he low-earning. And like someone else mentioned, he does a lot of things around the house for his wife and child that most white collared individuals would have no idea how to do themselves. OP is just either being ungrateful for may want to consider communicating needs tha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/18 06:11 PM
1

My SO and I both firmly believe in keeping each other satisfied. Some nights I’m really tired and would rather sleep, but if he’s interested then I make the effort to please and then get in the mood myself. It’s rare I’m not up for sex, though. The only time I’m not is if I’m really sick or we’ve had a disagreement yet to be addressed.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 05:05 AM
2

This is spot on for me as well. I thrive having connections and cherish my closest ones no matter the distance or infrequency of communication. When you’re together again it feels like the gaps were never there for both my male and female friends.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 09:04 PM
3

I enjoy having friendships with some opposite sex members, but it depends on the situation for me and whether it’s legitimately a friendship. I also am around guys because I enjoy participating in MMA. I have had some long term friendships with males since the end of high school and early college. At least two of them had crushes on me back then (15-16 yrs ago) but they were short lived as we all found respective partners/moved away. One in the east coast I’ve hung out in person with four times …
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 09:02 PM
2

It sounds like the plans were made a year In advance and the friend lives far away, so it’s not like he’s “ditching” his gf for someone he sees regularly. Plus he’s inviting her to join - OP is just being stubborn.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 08:30 PM
10

Why do you have no interest in meeting his friend(s)? It seems to conflict with your statement that you’re not worried about them. I feel like this is the path to resentment and deal breakers when you could easily accept his invitation to be a part of another aspect of his life he’d like to share with you. Plus then you will be able to participate in celebrations and still plan something more intimate for the two of you later. Ultimately down the road, it’ll result in a “them vs me” scenario. Pe…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/18 11:41 PM
6

“Not bad” is also said in Chinese culture... it really threw me off for a while when my SO or his family said it in relation to my cooking or something else, but I’ve gotten more accustomed to it. Congrats!
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 01:46 AM
3

It’s not, but I’m making that choice because I’m not giving up my cats again. I’ve already dated two guys and married one allergic to them. My SO knew that after our first encounter discussing dealbreakers - little did I know he was previously fairly allergic to cats and was fretting about it. Interestingly enough, he forgot his meds he planned to take before coming to my house the first time and discovered he’s not allergic to mine. He loves them immensely and is very thankful it wasn’t an issu…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/18 05:14 AM
3

Ugh, this also reminds me of something that occurs near me... though from my understanding there are no “pimps” involved. I know someone who works within the upper echelons of a decent sized community and is invited to annual “men only” gatherings like Super Bowl parties etc. It’s essentially the “good ol boy” club filled with primarily the richest of the rich and men in their 50+ yrs of age. Some younger men are now coming on board as their fathers get older since they’re taking over businesses…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 05:28 PM
2

That’s understandable... my mother nags me on occasion still about doing a Masters and I have no desire to currently. I moved across the country from my parents, though, and see them maybe once a year. They have their affairs in order and don’t expect their children to be responsible for them. The important thing to remember, though, is not to expect your relationship to save you from all of these things, especially if he’s not committed. My SO would love for me to quit my job and focus on helpi…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 06:28 PM
3

So start working to rectify that situation. Do meet up groups, make friends at school, get involved in things there... find like minded people you share interests with and break out of your own cage. Also read books on setting boundaries and it may help to avoid the guilt associated with the familial pressure. What would your parents do if you moved away?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 05:51 PM
1

It can definitely get tiring. I have my own house but I split time between my SO’s and mine because of his almost 10 hr old daughter. We stay there when we have her since I have a roommate. I’ve made it known that I would like to be under the same roof in the near future because we’ve been doing this for over a year and I’d like to have our things all in one location. He’s working on it, though I joke about how his mom is going to propose to me soon if he waits too much longer. We both want to b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 05:46 PM
2

For the longest time I seemed to only be attracted to younger men. My ex husband was only 2 months my senior, though. My boyfriend after him was 6 years younger than me and it never really bothered me. My SO is the oldest partner I’ve ever had and he’s 8 years my senior. It works and it IS nice to have a guy who is established and in a good place in his life where he knows what he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/18 04:02 AM
5

Or get a water pick... I was lazy and flossed maybe once a week or something, but I got tired of getting cavities very so often. Now the water pick sits on my counter and I use it almost daily and it’s more fun to me. Plus it really is disgusting realizing how much food is still stuck between teeth even after brushing. I brush my teeth right when I get up in the AM after using the bathroom. Always scrub your tongue with the brush and I recommend even the roof of your mouth. You’re never too old …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 04:44 PM
1

Do y’all have a shared calendar on your phones? My SO owns his business and also has ADHD so while he’s very responsible in many ways including financially, sometimes he can be forgetful. It’s especially difficult if he’d rather avoid a difficult client who may not be paying etc. We both have excellent credit and he has a successful business. In any case, he’s generally got his personal finances all on auto pay and auto deposits, and he puts certain reminders for things in his calendar to rememb…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 07:43 PM
3

My ex husband had a filing cabinet with everything labeled. In each file was a sticky note with the user name and password so I could access anything as needed. Most of that type of stuff doesn’t need active hands on managing (like if you have a IRA which is set up with automatic payments into it etc) but you should really know about life insurance policies and the like in case something were to happen.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/18 05:58 AM
1

Mine was always psychological. In my marriage it never happened because I wasn’t having needs met so I’d masturbate after he got off and went elsewhere. In my next relationship it took me quite awhile (about 6-7 months) to get comfortable being with a new partner after having been with someone for 12 years. I also had divorce stress/grief and an injury I was coping with at the same time. It didn’t help that he, like in your situation, told me his previous partners always got off. He took it pers…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 07:22 PM
2

Oh absolutely! My SO has stated that if he starts feeling the need to look at it then he’ll notify me immediately because it’s a sign there’s a problem/need not being met. But considering I’m a HL and we typically average at least once per day, frequency at least shouldn’t be an issue. I’m ecstatic to finally have a partner who’s sexually compatible with me and open to new things!
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 11:27 PM
3

Eh, I get where you’re coming from, especially because I was once married to a porn addict. My SO doesn’t claim to have been “porn free.” He’s in IT and used to have caches of it saved over years. But without my prompting or even knowledge until afterward, he deleted it all because he didn’t want it being a “back door” in our relationship. He wants to focus all his sexual energy on me and us. Obviously it’s easy to stumble upon throughout the internet even without going to usual sites, but he ch…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 10:25 PM
11

It’s a personal preference. I can see the wisdom of it for some people, but my partner and I feel that being financially vulnerable to one another brings us closer together. We’ve both been divorced (mine more amicable and fair than his), but still maintain the attitude that a pre-nup comes across as being distrustful of one another. To us it’s like saying “I trust you with my life/kids/whatever, but not with combining our assets completely!” Is it a risk? Absolutely, but I’m ok with that risk a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/18 09:02 PM
9

Deal breakers: *Physically violent (toward people, animals or objects) out of anger *Infidelity *Allergic to cats (I already gave up my baby for my last marriage and won’t do that again). *Addiction to substances/sex/gambling *Mysogynistic *Inflexible to self improvement or change/ inability to compromise *Financial incompetence and instability *Distrust/Privacy Violations Red flags: *Lives with parents *Jealousy *No car or drivers license *Porn usage *Bad familial relationships *Inability to ta…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/18 07:20 PM
5

Yes, my ex husband was addicted to it unbeknownst to me until after 6 yrs together and 4 yrs married. I couldn’t figure out why our frequency dropped to about 4 times per month (and sometimes that was pulling teeth and basically a quickie with no real care to my needs) after our wedding when I would want it daily and wasn’t unattractive etc. The novelty of “me” had worn off and he needed new stimuli to be aroused. It does a number to the self esteem. It’s important to know that if this is what’s…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 08:56 PM
10

Have you actually had a real heart to heart about your needs and desires? You write about doing all sorts of things based off of assumptions... In my own case, I later found out my dead-ish bedroom was caused by my ex husband’s addiction to pornography. I didn’t have kids And he thought I was physically good looking etc. Once we got married the sex dropped because the “game was over” and I was no longer a novelty. The sex we did have was about his needs and on his time line or done out of guilt …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/18 08:08 PM
3

Having been married to a sex addict for 10 years (who thankfully was hooked mostly on porn and emotional affairs rather than the extent of what it could be), I would HIGHLY suggest walking away. This SCREAMS sex addiction and most addicts have been abused in their lives. The only caveat which might make me pause would be if he’s done intensive counseling, 12 steps and is actively working on himself. It’s still nothing I would want to associate with again because there will always be a struggle a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/18 06:59 PM
1

I’d also recommend therapy for the little guy. I work for Medicaid and often see cases for kids who’ve been fostered/adopted who develop poor coping skills as what they’ve had to endure comes to the surface. Better to address those things before kids go crazy.
/r/RedPillWives16/08/18 03:35 PM
2

At least you are aware now! Sometimes it takes learning the hard way how to set healthy boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/18 03:29 AM
1

Oh yes. I made my boundaries abundantly clear and how inappropriate that was and that his insecurities had gotten WAY out of control and would not see him for a week in order to process how to best approach the issue. I also told him I wouldn’t tolerate anything being held over my head based on things that occurred when I was single (ie. “See, you flirted with X & Y and didn’t tell me about A&B!) I have expressed numerous times that if we were to break up that it wouldn’t be because I was leavin…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/18 02:51 AM
1

I hope so, too. Ironically he didn’t want to hide it from me which I appreciate, but my trust has to be rebuilt.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/18 02:37 AM
6

Teaching him boundaries is very good. It’s ok for him not to want to do something or to say no, but it’s also good to instill a sense that sharing is also beneficial. Id suggest finding out WHY he wants to share with this particular girl, though. Maybe he wants to because she’s hungry and has a shitty home life. Maybe he has a crush on her. Maybe she’s a snit and demands it. Just because a member of the opposite sex shares something doesn’t mean it’s anti-RP or something potentially nefarious. M…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/18 11:48 PM
10

It’s because she’s not actually really happy with the fact her SO doesn’t want to be married or put her on the adoption paperwork as he doesn’t trust her to not go after alimony or child support if they split. She had a previous post on it.
/r/RedPillWives15/08/18 11:32 PM
1

This is a struggle for me as well. My SO and I (dating 10 months) have each other’s phone passwords and fingerprints because it’s easier. I do not have anything to hide, but I do want some privacy. My SO struggles with trust because he’s been cheated on before (my marriage ended from that too), and in some ways wishes I had no interactions with other men. We do individual and couples therapy and it’s helped. But I’m social and outgoing and have had several really long time friendships with men. …
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/18 11:13 PM
4

I’m 5’8” and looked unhealthy until I hit about 130. My height is supposed to be at about 140.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/18 10:27 PM
1

I always liked online dating because you can screen people fairly quickly and get important questions answered while avoiding awkwardness you’d experience in person. Plus you don’t have to find ways to escape home if you’re not into a person. I tended to talk to someone for a month or more before in person meeting, but that was when I really dated online in 2003-2004. With my ex husband back in 2004, we met online on a site that no longer exists before online dating was a thing. We talked via lo…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/18 06:15 PM
8

I got married at age 22 to my ex husband and we were married for 10 years. We joked about how we had a “self arranged marriage” because we loved each other but weren’t IN love with each other. We were on the same page in basically all ways and I knew he was a good man to me. I was still healing from a traumatic break up from my first love (even after 2 yrs of dating my ex husband), and because I was young and dumb I didn’t think about his reasons. Fast forward a year into marriage and I finally …
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/18 01:07 AM
7

Do you want your relationship or your career because it sounds like you would prefer the latter. You make spending time together sound like a chore and then set up some weird requirement to equalize the “inconvenience” she placed upon you by being able to maintain a loving, healthy relationship. Of course she’s going to agree to whatever in order to see you, and it sounds like for the most part she has been... being a few minutes late on occasion is hardly the same as “working as long as I want …
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/18 07:22 AM
4

Darn, I’ll have to keep my eye out for this next time! Very fun!
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/18 05:41 AM
3

No kidding - I about had my eyes bug out when he suggested that as an option for CALIFORNIA! I live in a neighboring state and know so many people with insane rents/mortgages for a shoe box worth of space. This is definitely not something I would be comfortable doing myself. I supported my ex husband after he got out of the military and we moved across the country to be nearer to his family and have free schooling for him, but his GI bill contributed to our income and we lived rent free for 2.5 …
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/18 07:11 PM
14

He actually scooped her up fresh out of high school as an 18 year old. They’ve just been living together for 4 years. The situation screams all sorts of red flags to me, but she doesn’t want our opinions.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/18 08:40 PM
3

My point is that I don’t personally agree with or understand some his past choices, but I don’t hold it over his head. The hypocrisy is what I raise my eyebrow to. Neither of us has been with many people because we do have standards, but having had one FwB hardly qualifies me as being “promiscuous” or that I have a mindset that I should be able to explore my sexuality with any number of people.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/18 07:19 PM
12

I’ve always been open and honest about my past relationships and expect the same with my partner. If my partner can’t cope with the handful of people I’ve been with, then he’s not the one for me. Edit: I’d also like add that the way you wrote “avoid defensiveness and show humility” rubs me the wrong way a little. I don’t know you or your situation, but none of us is perfect. I have things in my past I’m not entirely proud of, but I take responsibility and own them. However I’m not going to allow…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/18 04:25 PM
1

I see what you’re saying, but I disagree because I don’t feel that men just focus on what they have in front of them either. In fact I think many take it for granted. Obviously there are men that can appreciate the 9 and not falter, but there are plenty that do because they can’t ignore the ego boost it provides them. I have found SO many men (even very attractive ones that are independent and established) struggle with their self esteem levels and start fantasizing about what things would be li…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 07:59 PM
1

It’s not easy and it still occasionally affects me 1.5 years later. I recommend some type of grief therapy to help. Mine was a 10 yr marriage that ended due to infidelity as well, so I empathize with where you’re at currently. It does get better :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:32 AM
1

My ex husband was the one who flipped on me, but a lot had to do with addiction on his part that he hid well and then stopped addressing. Either way it was devastating because I prided myself on vetting him and I never wanted to be a divorce statistic. But despite the fact I could have taken him to the cleaners, I didn’t because I cared about him. It was a very amicable divorce and we split things evenly and fairly. I want a committed marriage in the future and feel I can have that with my curre…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:21 AM
1

Uhh... really? This isn’t her taking a job as a stripper or being in a position that he might consider inappropriate. She’s following her dreams and it so happens that she’ll now make more money than her SO. That may not always be the case, but even if it is, it’s something they can work out together. Some things require reflection by the male partner and then coming up with solutions together. Quitting a job that will benefit the unit because he’s having a moment of insecurity isn’t ideal. She …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/18 05:26 PM
2

My ex husband was only 2 months older (both married at age 22) and we were married for 10 yrs. My next relationship was with a close friend of mine and he was 7 yrs younger. I didn’t notice much difference caused by the age gap other than the fact he wanted at least 2 kids and I sit the fence as to whether I want or can have them biologically. Currently my SO is 7 yrs older (42) and it’s working very well. I like that he’s more established, but he loves to do things together and has a lively spi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/18 07:22 PM
1

Thank you very much for your insightful response. We discussed it together and think at least a good portion may be the culprit. I think part of the problem is that in all my previous relationships I was easily the most affectionate and “needy” at times, and my SO matches or even bests me on occasion. I absolutely love his interest and desire to be with me, and have a better idea of how to make sure that it’s articulated appropriately. In my mind I think I’ve expressed a sufficient amount of gra…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/18 06:20 AM
2

That makes perfect sense and I agree with your perspective. Do you have any suggestions for making my SO feel more needed in the meantime?
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 10:06 PM
1

Haha, yeah we joke that we like to keep it in the family. It’s not a small town (there are only two big cities in Nevada) but we reconnected unexpectedly and really hit it off. It unfortunately caused a rift with my ex-in laws who I viewed as more family than my own family, but I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness based on their opinions after the crap I went through in the marriage. Perhaps you’re right with the combination. I absolutely love spending time with him, but I’m acutely aware …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 08:08 PM
0

He knows my ex husband from the days he dated my ex SIL (they broke up 4 yrs ago) and I don’t think has any doubts about any desire to return to that marriage based on the circumstances of the divorce. They’re friendly enough with each other and we all attend the same church. My ex husband has also been in a LTR since August last year. He’s willing to meet ex bf/friend in time. That guy will be in a different class come Sept when he gets his black belt. I won’t get mine until next year and can’t…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 07:37 PM
1

I commented on another poster that might provide more insight, but i think it started back in Feb when I expressed a desire to return to my martial arts classes and now take 1-1.5 hrs a couple days per week to exercise and pursue my goals/happiness. He’s not overly comfortable with the thought of other men touching me (even my male massage therapists for deep tissue make him feel icky) and it’s further complicated by the fact my ex husband (who I don’t interact with and rarely run into these day…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 06:57 PM
2

I feel that I do convey that he’s an essential part of my life frequently, but he hasn’t been able to really articulate where he feels something is off. He mentioned that he feels that I am the center of his universe, but questions whether I have ever felt the same way since I “do my own things.” By “doing my own things” I go to work and a few evenings a week I participate in martial arts to stay in shape and pursue something I enjoy. Otherwise I tend to see him sometimes before class and then a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/18 06:46 PM
2

Ooh yes, this describes my situation with my bf to a T
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/18 08:17 PM
2

I’m not arguing that it’s not sexual activity... but what I meant in my original comment by “sexual activity on my part” was that I wasn’t reciprocating without seeing a clean test. If a guy has a cold sore I wouldn’t be kissing him let alone allowing him to go down on me.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/18 04:35 PM
2

I just don’t incorporate morality into the equation. I haven’t had many partners outside of my previous marriage, but I experimented with a couple of men afterward... one of which turned into a relationship eventually and two that did not. Eventually I met my current SO and was already back on the path of wanting to be in a committed relationship before engaging in sexual activity, but I still required test results from all of them. All of them knew my stance up front. If we were kissing and the…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/18 04:11 AM
0

I talked to one of my closest guy friends who I dated for 7 months and broke up with over a year ago. We connected again recently since we do MMA together and would like to rekindle our friendship since dating was a disaster due to incompatibilities (kids/finances). My SO struggles with jealousy/insecurity because he’s been burned twice by former gfs in the past, so we’re working our differences out in therapy together. I’ve never dated a jealous person so it throws me for a loop. In any case my…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/18 06:26 PM
1

Unless someone has a cold sore then I’ve never heard of anyone contracting any STDs orally. Or with their fingers. However I’m not willing to risk getting anything orally by going down on a guy even if he doesn’t appear to be showing symptoms. If it’s someone I’m interested in/trust and he wants some heavier petting I make my boundary clear so he can choose how he’d like to proceed.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/18 06:08 PM
13

I’ve never dated anyone who was seeing or sleeping with another person. If he’s interested in pursuing getting to know me and dating me, then I want all the energy directed toward me. I also request to see a clean STD panel before engaging in any sexual activity on my part. I have had partners in the past who wanted to satisfy me with the knowledge that there wouldn’t be reciprocation until the tests returned clean. In any case, I’m very up front with my desire for sexual exclusivity because I d…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/18 07:34 PM
1

Only you can say. Honestly I think it’s superficial and limits you, but I can also grasp why a taller man is more attractive. I’m 5’8” and my ex husband who was my height felt the most awkward. My current bf is 5’10-11 and my last bf was 5’3”! I barely noticed the height difference because he carried himself confidently. I have also dated a guy 6’4” from my high school days and wasn’t a huge fan of that height. I PREFER a taller man generally, but like the 5’10 - 6’ range the most I think. That …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/18 12:55 AM
2

I am in the same boat with my ex bf and was with my ex husband until he just wanted space to grow on his own. My ex bf was one of my closest friends before we tried dating, though, and ultimately it was a couple major life incompatibilities that made us realize it wasn’t going to work out. Just recently we’ve started getting back to friendlier terms since we see each other fairly regularly. We can now talk about our current relationships/interests and can pick up where we were prior to dating be…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 11:27 PM
7

He needs to lay off the porn. As an ex wife of a porn/sex addict and who maintained my level of attractiveness, I can tell you that it sounds like your novelty has worn off. He is now seeking new stimulation to maintain his desires. I went from sex all the time to getting married at age 22 and having it maybe 4 times per month. It took 4 yrs and 3 affairs (2 emotional and 1 emotional/physical) later I found out why. Rarely about my needs, always on his time line, generally always carnal, etc. It…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/18 10:48 PM
3

I should send this to my SO because he struggles with this topic. I am accustomed to having male friends, do MMA (two of my exes go to the same place but it’s not awkward anymore and all of us have moved on), etc. There is no romantic or sexual interest there, but he’s not comfortable with me really interacting with anyone with whom I’ve been previously intimate. We’re working on the issue together, but Lord can he hamster and fall down the well of imaginative assumptions. I like your recommenda…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/18 10:39 PM
6

I have some close male friends and love in the US and I would be highly uncomfortable as well. It’s NOT appropriate and your boss shouldn’t be dismissing your concerns. This guy clearly wants more and isn’t respecting your boundaries!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 08:19 PM
1

I don’t agree that it’s JUST a practice round. Sometimes people just connect well and want to be together. I was 7 years older than my last bf, but were planning to move in together, have a kid, etc. We ultimately split due to some major compatibility issues before moving in together. Up until now I’ve typically always dated younger men, though my ex husband was only 2 months older than me. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me and there are the added perks mentioned in this thread. However, I d…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 08:16 PM
2

My boyfriend and I recently found ourselves washing dishes side by side a few months ago and laughed because it reminded us about how we’d be in the same position years ago when I was married and he was dating my ex SIL. Thankfully this is not a stressor in our relationship. I am also blessed to be partnered to a man who doesn’t mind putting clothes away/hanging them up. I’ll wash and fold all day, but I hate putting them away!
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/18 04:17 AM
1

Lol you and me both, sister!
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/18 07:13 PM
3

You’re still being pretty vague about why you think you’re not being a good sexual partner. You’re having sex with him, you’re masturbating, and you’ve slept with another man at his behest. You say you enjoy sex, so I imagine you’re not just lying there like a dead fish even if you’d prefer to cuddle/kiss. Does he want you to initiate sexual activities more? Personally I think he was going to feel this way whether you used a condom or not... it’s just easy for him to focus the blame on you rathe…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/18 08:35 PM
2

Have y’all attended any marriage counseling? What is he doing to change himself and his circumstances? It seems to me based on your post that he’s pointing the finger in your direction for everything, yet not acknowledging that HE screwed up by having you have sex with the neighbor in hopes that it’d change your sex life before being truly ready for the unintended consequences. Sure, the immediate high creates more sexual encounters, but he could be struggling emotionally knowing he gave you to …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/18 06:12 PM
4

I survived my ex husband’s affair back in 2010 and we grew immensely closer the next 6 years. Unfortunately he has addiction issues which contributed to our divorce and he takes full responsibility. From my experience, it takes time for trust to rebuild and to finally get out of the “all we ever talk about are things related to the affair and how to avoid it or how we’re feeling” phase. Props to you for taking this journey. Perhaps some of the others giving you grief about your “high horse” are …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/18 05:32 PM
4

I personally think it's healthy and natural to have your own boundaries. Again, you walk a fine line doing something right away you're not ready for than when you've taken the time to process or build up to the act in stages. Do you have a therapist? I would also recommend speaking to one about this anxiety. There's nothing wrong with taking care of you and your needs. Being a good and submissive wife doesn't mean you lose yourself in the process. If your husband has no complaints about your res…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/18 10:34 PM
4

I guess I'm confused as to what boundaries you're concerned about if you have no issues slowly working into things, giving yourself to him however, and he has no problem with your initial hesitancy. I didn't mean to write like your husband was sexually abusive or anything either. My ex husband always respected my boundaries and me as well, and there were lots of things I didn't mind trying at Least once because I enjoyed pleasing him too. I get it. I'm just confused now about what you're wanting…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/18 09:31 PM
26

I disagree somewhat with a couple of the responses to you. Yes, I believe one should be open to trying things for their partners if they've got a kink or certain way to engage sexually, but obviously you're not enjoying sex 100% even with your softer limits. Yes, I realize a "guy could go elsewhere if you're not providing what he wants sexually," but so can a woman. More importantly, I think that's more of a selfish and callous mindset rather than a loving one, and there's more to a marriage tha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/18 05:59 PM
6

I don't have children myself (though my boyfriend has a 9 year old daughter), but I do work full time and balance my job with home making and hobbies. I tend to break tasks up over the course of the week, straighten up as I go where possible, and pick various meals to prepare on nights I'm not out later due to Martial Arts training which last a couple days at a time. I set a weekend time period to clean the bathroom and do laundry. I'm also blessed to have a partner who likes to contribute to so…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/18 05:23 PM
1

I was married to an addict of a different variety, but the principles of 12 steps apply across the board. I would recommend looking up Al-Anon or the equivalent for drugs to help you with your sanity. You're not going to be able to control him, and ultimately you'll end up spiraling yourself because of his behaviors.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/18 12:05 AM
1

Get a good quality vibrator... That saved my sanity during my between relationship time period.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 06:16 PM
1

I had braces three times as a kid and have a permanent retainer on my bottom teeth to help against a genetic disposition to move/crowd. They're definitely worth it!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 06:06 PM
1

Ultimately, though, our actions are what is important. I may be unintentionally friendly/flirty with people, but it doesn't mean I'm running off with someone else. We are all going to see people we find highly attractive, and that's ok. We're going to have to interact with people we think are attractive or vice versa, but how do we respond? I am respectful of my partner's feelings and our relationship, and have a lot of personal integrity. My boyfriend and I may have differing philosophies on fr…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 10:22 PM
1

I started doing hard gel nails and toes about 5 years ago and have no regrets. I used to bite and pick at my nails/fingers, and I no longer have to deal with it. Plus, I love having the ability to make them cute, colorful, and sparkly while boxing or doing other MMA activities. They rarely break! My ex husband thought they were a waste of money and going to lead to cancer, but my boyfriend loves taking me and even will come by with food for me and my technician!
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 09:21 PM
2

My boyfriend and I have struggled with this issue a bit, but through counseling and communication we've managed to meet each other halfway. We both have a history of being cheated on, but his jealousy IMO bordered on being irrational. On the other hand, being controlled is a trigger for me, so it caused some hiccups in the past. For example, I get monthly massages and do MMA (my ex husband and ex bf also attend the same academy), so I'm going to do jiu jitsu with men as well as women. Thinking o…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 09:06 PM
2

I am somewhat in a similar position where my boyfriend of not even 6 months would love me not working 8-5 and help him build his businesses. Despite his intentions of talking to my parents in May about getting married (he's almost 42 and I'm 34), I'm apprehensive to do that without being married because I bought a townhouse last year. I told him the other day that the IDEA excites me, but that currently it's too much of a risk without additional financial security. He understood my position. I w…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/18 06:23 PM
1

If he's comparing you to them and romanticizing and pining after them, then that's one I'd walk away from. However, if he's discussing a past situation he's learned from and wants to do differently with you, then I think that's acceptable. Personally, I'm not one of those people that can't talk about exes. In fact, I like to know about my partner's past and how he's grown etc. My current and last boyfriend know my ex husband well enough, so obviously it comes up on occasion. My current boyfriend…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/18 08:29 PM
2

My bf is going to be 42 soon and I just turned 34 and we average about 2x per day. I'm ecstatic to have someone who can keep up with me, but generally he wants to spend more time being intimate beforehand (massages, cuddling, kissing) and then would love for each time to be at least 2 hrs! Pleasure wise I can handle it, but sometimes I just want to shorten the sessions so we can accomplish other things too. Be glad he wants to spend more time with you even in a non-sexual way. It just means you'…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/18 01:49 AM
5

sigh This was a HUGE issue and main reason for my last break up. He made about $15k more a year than me as an engineer, but he had $30k+ in debt after his parents went gung-ho on his house renovations. He bought a house I would have personally avoided, but that was before we were together and were just friends. I, on the other hand, have a fairly significant amount in savings/retirement accounts and was sitting on half my equity from my divorce at the time. In any case, he was always good about …
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/18 11:28 PM
2

After a month he mentioned he wanted to marry me and started asking me about ring preferences. I told him to slow down a little and wait at least 6 months and until we worked put some respective issues that could impact our relationship. He has occasionally asked me questions about when I'd like to get married, what kind of wedding I'd want, etc and gets excited about the prospect of me changing my name to his. Last night he inquired about how "white Southern families/fathers" handle marriage in…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/17 12:49 AM
1

Abuse isn't defined on just a physical level, though. It's verbally and emotionally abusive.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/17 12:49 AM
5

So you have to decide when enough is enough and set some hard boundaries - and then be able to enforce them. I finally had to leave my ex husband after he had another emotional affair and started looking at pornography again years after we established those boundaries after he had a full affair. Trust me, it sucks to think about what it might entail to leave. And it's scary. But it's scarier to consider putting up with the abusive behavior. You could tell him you're not accepting his apologies a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/17 10:54 PM
15

Yeah, that sounds abusive to me and I wouldn't be able to tolerate the way I was being treated. There is absolutely no excuse to call your partner names and scream profanities at them. Is he open to counseling?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/17 10:26 PM
5

Do what feels right for you, but don't stress too much. I'm your size, too, and we're still technically underweight. When I graduated high school I weighed 104lbs (not for lack of eating either) and looked like a concentration camp victim. Doctors kept telling me my ideal weight for my height was 140lbs. I actually wore my junior prom dress to a masquerade ball last Friday and can say that it looks much better on me now than it did back then! Focus more on fitness and body tome than the actual w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/17 05:36 PM
3

That's definitely one way to describe it! My ex husband will tell you that he finds me to be physically attractive, but we had sex an average of 4 times per month despite me having a drive for daily (or multiple times per day). For 2 yrs of dating I had no indication there would be problems in the bedroom, but once we got married and lived together it dropped off because the "goal had been reached." It took another 4 years to identify the problem was related to pornography. His thankfully escala…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/17 08:13 PM
3

With addiction it can fluctuate. It could be high for her initially because she's the new novelty item, but eventually she'd get "boring" even if she's really not and he has to seek his hit elsewhere. Partners tend to try and get creative, even stepping out of their comfort zones by partaking in activities or wearing things that they don't want in an attempt to control the addict's behavior. It's a soul crushing addiction... For both partners.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/17 06:45 PM
6

No, this is not your fault. I married a sex addict before he and I realized what was going on, and it's extremely painful. I recommend looking up books and resources by Patrick Carnes and his wife (Out of the Shadows is a great eye opener) and then seeking help through COSA. It's a 12 step support group for partners of sex addicts. I cried the first time I realized I wasn't alone in the chaos that was ruining my life. It will help you rebuild yourself...with or without your husband. Is he gettin…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/17 06:40 PM
1

I have a very close network of people I'm close to and can share things with if I need to soundboard, but I talk out any problems I have with my SO too. I am a person that cherishes my close connections (both to female and male friends) and have Maintained many for 15+ years. It's a change for my new boyfriend, but my SOs are always my primary go to when I have a problem with the relationship or anything not meeting my needs.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/17 09:34 PM
1

People do double takes on me as well, especially since my married name is that of a well known Colombian drug Lord! People assume I'm Hispanic and get thrown off by my appearance.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/17 07:41 PM
2

I changed mine because I liked the idea of having one family unit, though I could care less if it was his last name or my last name that was taken. Despite my maiden name being technically more unique than my married name, I like my married name better because it flows well with my first name. Plus, people do double takes because it's a Hispanic last name and I'm a white girl. When my ex and I divorced 10 years later, I opted to keep it because my whole adult career has been with that name. It's…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/17 07:11 PM
1

My boyfriend has a house he's in the process of clearing out to rent from when his sister lived there, so it was fully furnished a couple weeks ago. I ended up planning a romantic evening there after a wonderful fundraising event he took me to earlier that evening. He absolutely loved all the details down to the candle lit path to the room, the bubble bath in the huge garden tub, platter of fruit and cheese, wine, and massage! Since then I've been helping him pack up and move out his sister's st…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/17 10:55 PM
2

I would just recommend being appreciative, reassuring, and just making sure you're still doing your own things too, while conveying it's not a reflection that you don't want to spend time with him. I'm actually having a similar experience, though my bf has a really good job and still leads the relationship. He's expressed his own confusion because he's never felt so intensely about someone and has always maintained a certain aloofness and lack of true intimacy/vulnerability with a partner in ord…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/17 06:17 PM
7

My boyfriend has been spoiling me like crazy and we're only about to reach a month since officially dating! He's been taking me to all of these neat events, bought me a beautiful handmade dress off a silent auction which is an old Western costume dress (people come to learn how to make Civil War era dresses from this maker apparently!!), and he's been crazy affectionate and generous overall. On Thurs I left for a weekend trip across the country to visit friends, and when I came back I found he'd…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/17 09:26 PM
1

False... On all counts
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/17 07:53 PM
1

I don't want one. I divorced after a 10 year marriage a little over a year ago, but I did not try to take things that weren't mine. He had sex addiction problems and had an affair, and despite my hurt, I never had the desire to injure him that way. We'd always been very much on the same page financially, and to this day we could borrow money from each other or rely on each other financially if needed. We split our home equity, I kept my furniture I brought into the marriage, we divvied joint ite…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 12:41 AM
2

This can absolutely be true because wives/SOs are unable to compete with the image and constant novelty that porn provides. On top of that, porn is an easy release. It doesn't require wooing, foreplay, or any other type of effort. Why go the more difficult route when you have instant pleasure?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/17 10:06 PM
5

I read a book last year called Sex at Dawn which explains sexuality biologically/socially and the evolution into modern day "monogamy." It was a fascinating read. It would actually argue against this societal construct, as women started becoming less promiscuous during the agricultural age when humans gave up the nomadic lifestyle because humans stopped clan-like living and raising children as a group since men want to know it's their child they're providing for... Then came religion to govern w…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/17 06:36 PM
6

I have no problem with pornography and occasionally look at it myself. I'm not a woman who will freak out if a guy looks at it either, and believe it can be a tool to improve relations as well. However, you're naive if you think women are being irrational about being concerned about it. My marriage literally fell apart because my ex husband was legitimately addicted to it, could not respond to my frequent advances, and had to constantly be seeking new material to satisfy the urge. If your partne…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/17 06:17 PM
1

I do mixed Martial arts primarily, but in the warmer months I enjoy long hikes in the Sierras and doing outdoor activities. I also watch my food for the most part. Occasionally I lift, swim, and partake in a wide variety of sports and activities to move around and stay fit. I'm aiming to pursue my Black Belt this upcoming year, so it will be very physically intense for the next year.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/17 09:41 PM
5

Someone needs to go home and cry in his Mama's lap. Geez...
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/17 03:15 PM
2

We were 21 when we got engaged and 22 when we got married. It was a long distance relationship due to college and his military station, but I completed school at the time he was getting done, so it worked out well. It lasted 10 years. People grow and change a lot in those years, but hopefully they'll be able to do it together. I don't have any regrets about it, but I will be able to vet better in the future.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/17 05:47 AM
6

Not all child free people are bitter or angry like the majority you'll see on those sites. If you choose not to have kids, there are tons of other options out there including adoption, fostering, or just not having kids at all. Step children could also be a possibility if a partner already has them. I've never really had the desire to have my own children, though I would have tried with my last partner. As far as child free options to be happy, though? What are you doing now to be happy without …
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/17 04:41 AM
3

Having worked through an affair with my now ex-husband and lasting another 6 years, I can tell you it's possible to overcome. However, his affair had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his addiction. There is something that really bugs me about your post... I get that you let yourself go and should definitely strive to be your healthiest self, but I think it's the fact he's blaming your weight on his actions is what bothers me. Where is his accountability and what's he doing about i…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/17 11:27 PM
0

Is he still in touch with this woman?
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/17 11:13 PM
5

I'm sorry. :( I feel your pain as I went through similar ordeals with my ex husband. He later had a full on affair before he realized he had an addiction problem. In any case, we worked through and had another good 6 years before he dropped the bomb on me that he wasn't romantically attracted to me, only viewed me as his best friend, and had met his soulmate in one of his students. Basically a similar story, even down to the fact he no longer liked that I didn't have something independently my o…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/17 01:02 AM
10

She said she's offered that and intimate time away from home, but he dismisses that, too. All because getting a hotel room is apparently a "waste of Money." Reminds me of my ex husband too.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/17 11:38 PM
15

Because we're calling human nature as we see it and express it too. It's really simple and you're choosing to discount everyone else's arguments and experiences because you're just set in your beliefs.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/17 02:01 PM
19

Then you're with the wrong woman.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/17 01:57 PM
21

Based on WHAT? I very much disagree and others have already expressed my beliefs as well. I very much have BOTH LOVED and RESPECTED my SO's, and showered them with my love. And THEY loved feeling loved by me. You mentioned that Red Pill saying about keeping a man satisfied by keeping him fed, his balls empty, etc, but there's no way I'm just going to do all that out of respect. I have to love him and feel loved by him. And part of feeling loved by him is absolutely feeling respected by him. If m…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/17 01:56 PM
14

I don't understand your reasoning as to why men and women are incapable of loving or respecting each other equally and therefore are set up for disappointment. Please elaborate.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/17 06:19 AM
2

Definitely just listen, and inquire about why his day was bad if he doesn't initially elaborate. When my ex bf was having a bad day, I'd usually listen, give him a massage (or space if he just wanted to unwind alone), and make him a nice dinner and clean up so he didn't have to deal with it. His bad days were few and far between, so I just tried to be extra attentive and get him in better spirits if possible. I would recommend talking to your bf today and apologize for the colder reaction from y…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/17 04:40 PM
3

Nope. We even lived 5.5 hrs away from each other, but still dated for 2 years. Our marriage coincided with me graduating college and him getting out of the military. There were obviously the adjustment phases you'd expect to see cohabiting before marriage, but we were excited to get married and be together.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/17 05:47 AM
4

I agree with you. But sexual rejection is one of the deepest pains ANYONE can experience. Neither person in a relationship should deny the other sex and affection. I have felt that incredible pain having been married to a sex addict for 10 years and not even being able to have healthy sex life even after we both got help. In my last relationship I couldn't stop being sexual because he made me so happy.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/17 12:41 AM
10

For the record I'm not down voting you. In any case, you may give practical advice on a woman's forum, but what you could change for the better is to avoid offending them by acting like you know how all women are and behave just because you've been burned before. And then I'd avoid coming across as patronizing as if this group doesn't already know how they want to raise their daughters. Why would a woman not desire to have sex with her husband? If he's abusive, if he neglects his marital obligat…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/17 12:33 AM
6

Again, you're using blanket generalizations. What are you basing this claim off? Females don't need robots or cats necessarily if a man isn't around...there are people called friends and family.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 11:53 PM
8

I thought your points were fairly valid until the half part of your "ideal world" and your entire conclusion. MY point is that you're completely ignoring the male impact of why a woman might seek to withhold sex (but I agree that it's not something that should be used as a weapon). Then you basically say "shape up, ladies... With technology developing we're just going to ditch you entirely for sex and children!" I find that quite amusing because it's just a whiny retaliatory remark in my opinion…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 11:45 PM
8

I disagree. You claim I'm an exception, but what are you basing this assumption off? How many women have you engaged in conversation about their sex lives and preferences?
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 09:20 PM
7

I understand that, yet many of my female friends (with and without children) have indicated they're in the same boat. I'm 33, no kids, and currently single (4 months) for the first time since I was 17 and have been in 3 long term relationships including my 10 yr marriage. I've had a drive since I was a child and discovered masturbation. I prefer a partner, but with or without, I keep myself satiated. I just think the post is too simplistic and quick to lay blame at a woman's feet as to why men w…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 09:11 PM
4

My ex husband and I didn't want children and were married for 10 years. One of the reasons he wanted to marry me was because I didn't care about having kids. I find it rather annoying when I read that there isn't any point to marrying someone without the plan for children. Why did homosexual couples fight so hard to achieve being able to marry? Marriage doesn't equal kids. Marriage equals two people who are committing to one another with love and respect. If children are a product of said marria…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 08:07 PM
5

I've personally never dated a guy who could keep up with me, and that's been frustrating. However, I respected their level of intimacy and they tried to meet my needs to the best of their abilities. It wasn't for lack of desire to spend time with me or because they weren't pleased with me, but rather they just could suffice with 1-3 times per week whereas I'd be down for 6+ times per week.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/17 07:52 PM
1

MMA injury that have several podiatrists stumped and my PT. My whole weight fell on my foot which was bent underneath me starting at the pinkie. I ended up reinjuring it in Feb, along with rolling/spraining my ankle, because I hadn't kept those muscles strong since the first podiatrist only casually suggested PT but didn't explain the importance. Got on that ASAP afterward.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/17 05:10 PM
1

I've had a bad foot injury for almost a year now which has dampened my ability to do much exercising, but I was doing Mixed Martial Arts 4-5 times per week and walking regularly. Now swimming even bothers my foot :( But since starting physical therapy I've seen drastic improvements. We've been doing side planks, squats, one legged deadlifts etc. Now that I'm settled also from renovating and moving to my new place, I am going to hit up the gym and couple days a week and lift weights. I'm hoping I…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/17 02:12 PM
0

LoL yep, I'm definitely with you on all of the above... Especially the latter.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/17 08:43 PM
9

I get the same feeling when I think about overly promiscuous men. There's a thrill at the thought of being in bed with someone who hopefully knows his way around, but I would not want to commit to a guy like that.. therefore I avoid it all together.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/17 05:30 PM
2

Thanks! It's a drastic change because I'm accustomed to finding my worth through my relationships, but I'm getting excited about not being in one now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 09:52 PM
2

I took back my ex husband 7 yrs ago after he had an affair, but we'd been married for 4 yrs and together for 6 yrs. It took a lot of work on both of our ends, but he owned his actions and didn't make excuses like your bf. Drop him.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 05:22 PM
6

As someone who was married to a sex addict for 10 years... Leave. I was able to overcome the trust issues, but my ex husband actually was remorseful and took charge of his recovery. He respected me and my boundaries. I went through my own program to help avoid parenting him and being snoopy. Your fiance doesn't give a shit and is actively acting out. Do yourself a favor and leave with your daughter. It'll be hard, but you'll be more sane and it'll be easier than staying and having your soul and …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 04:41 PM
1

I have hard gel nails that I get redone every 3 weeks. My gal is very reasonable, so I pay $35-40 each time which includes a tip. Most run about $45 from what I've heard. In any case, I used to be a horrible nail biter, plus my nails would break easily. I finally started doing these about 4.5 yrs ago. Hard gels allow me to do my rough activities (like boxing and jiu jitsu or home repairs like changing a garbage disposal) without worry of chipping generally. Sometimes they'll break, but it's very…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 04:36 PM
5

I got divorced last Sept and this past Saturday would have been my 11th anniversary. Instead of moping (I've actually gotten over it), I started my "Journey of Aloneness" which is a list of things that I'm uncomfortable doing alone, and doing them. So Friday night I stepped out of my comfort zone and took myself out to a nice dinner alone. It was delicious! Grilled mozzarella cheese appetizer, filet Mignon with organic vegetables and amazing scalloped potatoes, and peach bread pudding for desser…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 03:21 PM
2

As a woman, I agree with you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 05:04 AM
1

I really liked your response, thank you. I'm currently working on #3 since it's my first time being alone in 16 years. But I just bought my own place and am starting to do my own thing without worrying about a relationship. I'm even making a list of things I want/need to do alone that make me uncomfortable. :) I absolutely agree with you about the kindness aspect and personally feel guys also have a more difficult time because every woman is different and he doesn't yet know her well enough to d…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 04:54 AM
1

My ex husband and I never had passwords, but I rarely went on his phone anyway. My ex bf had one and he used it enough around me I knew it... He didn't care. Again, I rarely used his phone, and I never had any reason to distrust him. My ex husband actually cheated on me 7 yrs ago and we made it another 6 yrs. It took awhile to reestablish trust, but I made sure I didn't "babysit" him or change the dynamic into a parent -child relationship. But I paid attention to his overall behavior and actions…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/17 07:06 AM
2

That's awesome you've gotten to where you want to be... I used to play soccer for 10 years and had a crazy fast metabolism. When I graduated highschool I was 104lbs and looked like my parents were starving me. Thankfully over the years I've put on 35 lbs and look healthy. However, I still am very small chested. I don't feel like altering my body, so guys who want to have big boobs can mosey along. It's more important I'm where I want to be and feel attractive myself. :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/17 04:40 PM
2

LoL I rated myself as about a 7 and my bf and his roomie agreed. Definitely wouldn't say I'm higher at least in the looks department.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/17 03:34 PM
3

Yeah there's definitely a difference between a girls night out and planning an overseas trip with girlfriends.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/17 03:29 PM
7

When your husband tells you after 10 years of marriage (which survived infidelity on his part 6 yrs prior) that he's never been romantically attracted to you... But that was motivated by him falling in love with one of his high school students. *rolls eyes * But I'd say addictions and an unwillingness to improve. Lack of ambition, constant lying, an inability to be introspective, etc
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/17 07:19 AM
1

I got divorced last year after 10 years of marriage through no fault of my own. It was such an upheaval overall, but thankfully we didn't have kids and I've always been fairly independent. I opted to rent for awhile and hold on to my equity. I set up my finances and bills and sorted out insurance which my ex used to do. In May I bought a condo on my own and have spent the last several weeks renovating it with the help of friends. I move next week. It's been an empowering experience and it's help…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/17 07:22 AM
4

My ex husband was comfortable with everything. No doors shut for either of us, but I didn't want him standing nearby or watching me use the restroom. He was chill about it. My boyfriend afterward was much more conservative and wanted us to have our own privacy in the bathroom. I actually liked it. He also hated the word "shit" bc he thought it was too crass. He also was particular about only passing gas in the bathroom. I can appreciate a crass sense of humor, but I did enjoy the classiness he e…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 06:43 AM
4

I actually know a fair amount of mothers who, despite loving their children, regret becoming mothers. I just think it's not talked about openly because it's such a taboo topic. If they could go back in time, they wouldn't do it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/17 04:58 PM
3

Situation awareness is your best offense which can hopefully prevent an actual encounter! Being quick to gauge distance to escape is part of it too. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 09:46 PM
1

I love self defense and learn krav maga in my MMA classes. I also love jiu jitsu and am looking forward to returning after months off due to a foot injury. That being said, I do like being with a guy that I also feel could protect me if necessary. But I'm not going to rely on just him alone.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 09:43 PM
1

I'm 33 and have never had a desire to have children, but I'm more of a fence sitter. I would have considered having one with my last bf, but he wanted 2 or more, and I wasn't down it that idea. I already would have issues conceiving, and it just wasn't worth it to me on top of financial concerns I had with his spending philosophies.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 09:34 PM
4

I married my ex husband when we were 22 and he was getting out of the Marine Corps. We moved cross country for him to go to college. He worked as a Produce and Dairy manager in the meantime at a grocery store he used to work at in high school while I worked full time as well. He didn't get "established" in his teaching career until 5 years later, but he always made decent money, had a great work ethic, and had plans. I recently opted to not date a guy who was compatible on a time and emotional l…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/17 07:04 PM
2

I agree... Plus the thought was a baby would solve this horrible situation. Better to not have that added into the mix. I question whether I could go through a procedure outside of taking a pill if I were in OPs shoes, but I wouldn't want to have this guy tied to me at all.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 08:12 PM
3

Having just gotten divorced last year after 10 yrs of marriage, I understand. But despite how I initially resisted and hated it, it is the best decision we made. And he's not a bad guy either, so we've maintained our friendship.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 07:49 PM
12

Leave whether you're pregnant or not. For whatever reason he's gone off the deep end and it's not a healthy baby anymore. He has zero respect for you, and you are not respecting yourself trying to stick around taking his abuse.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 06:36 PM
1

Amen
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/17 03:33 AM
7

I love Bollywood movies like Jab Tak Hai Jaan. They're long and subtitled romances, but they're not generally cheesy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/17 12:08 AM
1

My first real boyfriend and I waited 2.5 years to have sex (I was 20 and he was 18). He wasn't religious, but his family was HUGE on reputation and he wanted to wait until marriage . We messed around a lot, and I performed oral regularly, but no actual intercourse. I am HL and couldn't wait until we could finally be together. So one Valentine's Day celebration he decided it was the perfect moment and we made love. I was in heaven. It was beautiful even though it was short lived, lol. I couldn't …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 10:15 PM
2

My ex bf was 6 yrs younger than me (27/33). My ex husband was the same age, but we were definitely not a RPW relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 09:55 PM
4

I regretted not having it videotaped too. Other than that, I regretted being the bride, lol! I would have preferred to have been at my wedding as a guest so I could have appreciated everything more. It all flew by in a breeze!
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 09:53 PM
2

LoL thanks! Yeah I started looking around and putting an offer down, but it fell through because they eventually realized it had to be a cash deal. So last week he asked me to move in with him at the end of June. It'll be nice with him and his roommate (albeit cramped), but it'll save me a ton of money too. So I'm still looking for an investment property for passive income instead. He's very good with me and being supportive and strong. :). I only felt overwhelmed that first day and then all was…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 08:51 PM
3

I get what you are saying, but I don't consider my housing situation to be "stupid shit." It's a big deal and more change. It's not like coming home with pointless drama at work where the wife/GF stirs the pot or something of a similar trivial nature. Me trusting my bf with no plan of action isn't going to get me anywhere. I believe in God and having gone through a 12 step program for partners of addicts, I can believe that things will happen as they may. That being said, I was working on a plan…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 07:22 PM
3

Not knowing her husband was an avid sports watcher is weird to me even for a person who didn't cohabitate. You should date long enough and thoroughly enough to have already ascertained that information prior to getting married.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 06:37 PM
1

I actually wrote my senior thesis paper on this topic back in 2006. The stats have changed, but the concepts I'm sure are about the same. Honestly, there are a ton of factors, but the main thing I walked away with was that it's all about attitude. In the US there seems to be more of an attitude of "well let's live together for at least 6 months and then we'll see about getting married." It's a conscious test and creates a barrier between the couple. You already know things about your partner tha…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 06:15 PM
2

Sometimes women just have to get their feelings/anxiety off their chests by talking, and then we can generally tackle the problem if it's an option. I'm not typically flustered easily, so if I'm freaking out, then I want and need my boyfriend to listen. For example, earlier this month my landlord informed me that he has to sell my condo, and based on the prices in my area, I'm not willing to buy it myself. Now what you've got to understand is that last February started a whole upheaval of my lif…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 05:59 PM
3

Same. He specifically told me why he did it when we first started dating when I asked out of sheer confusion. It made my heart melt :) We both train MMA and although he's 5 inches shorter than me, he's built like an ox and I know how hard he can punch. I feel safe in his presence.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/17 05:35 PM
1

Amen! My grandmother is too extreme in this (like the house before my parents moved them to our state was a disgusting hazard bc they were too cheap for housekeeping services and unable to do things themselves), but frugal living has given her quite the nest egg. Thankfully so since her out of pocket medical expenses were over $90k last year... Yikes! My bf and I disagree on money philosophy. He thinks I'm not enjoying my money now bc I'm overly concerned about retirement. I have everything I ne…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/17 07:37 PM
2

You can also buy nice looking clothes and have style without dropping dime for expensive name brands. I pay for my nails/hair and have done Mary Kay since I was 18, so I look feminine. But I've never been into fancy purses, high end brands (even in high school I never went to abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, etc. I'm not a huge shopper to this day, but when I do, it's cute/sexy/professional. I would not expect my SO to buy me these kinds of things, and would feel very weird if he did. I'm hi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/17 04:55 PM
1

Thanks! It went really well and he was surprised and quite amazed and happy. I even lit candlesticks on the table, ran a bubble bath for two (he'd never taken a bath with anyone), and then served chocolate pie for dessert to also celebrate pi day :) Then we started watching the last Harry Potter after all the excitement died down.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/17 04:44 PM
7

I went with a bacon wrapped pork tenderloin, but he'll be surprised nonetheless. I don't think either one of us have celebrated it before and I've got a variety of things up my sleeve. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/17 02:19 PM
0

Well... My mom met my bf back in September when we'd fairly recently just become FwB. I had just signed divorce papers and she came out to visit me to offer support. We live on opposite coasts, so I don't see my family but maybe once a year now. It wasn't bad and he hung out with us a few evenings. My mom shared my bed during her visit, so he stayed at his house in the evenings. He also met my mom's sister in late August, too, when she was in town for a conference. In January my bf met my brothe…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/17 07:25 PM
3

Whoa... My ex husband deployed back in 2005 while we were still dating. We had a 6 hr LDR when he was stateside, but even then it took a bit for him to acclimate. I assume you've been through more than one deployment yourself. If you already have reservations (especially considering your financial concerns and previous history), I'd really encourage you to follow your gut. You need to decompress, not have added stress of moving, money, and adjusting to living together immediately. Those things a…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/17 07:44 PM
4

Sometimes I like what I read there and other days I feel a pit of ickiness in my stomach and am so glad my bf isn't misogynistic!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 12:32 AM
1

My boyfriend is actually 5'3" and I'm 5'8" but he acts bigger than me, lol. His confidence is great and he even likes me to wear heels so he can admire my long legs more. If you're into it, you can find a Captain at any height. Normally I'm attracted to taller men, but my bf just ended up captivating me. He's strong, protective, and cares about my well being. He's not fazed by the height difference. And as I like to say, it doesn't matter when you're lying down anyway!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 12:25 AM
8

For me this topic is a deal breaker, and my bf is thankfully beginning to budget and save/pay down debt from purchasing a house that needed a fair amount of repairs. He got diagnosed with ADHD in November and the medication has helped curb impulsive spending which is why I've opted to stay. It's still something that I'm watching, though. I know, however, that he and I will always have opposing view points on money. He thinks that because I have over $150k saved in retirement/pension accounts at …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 09:48 PM
1

I was going to let him take the pictures for now. Who knows what I'll do in the future, though a boudoir session sounds fabulous.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/17 04:11 AM
2

I totally spaced this...Just put it on my calendar 😇
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 10:47 PM
2

Last weekend, I treated him to a 1.5 hour professional massage (unfortunately the couple's room was already booked), and then continued to dote on him. On Valentine's day morning I slipped some candy into his bag along with a heartfelt card to surprise him at work (I got his roommate some candy too and put it on his bag), and then spent 20 minutes that morning washing their dishes and straightening up the kitchen. Little did I know that I inadvertently helped myself out because my bf surprised m…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 10:46 PM
2

It was indeed. It's funny because he introduced me to RPW and in my previous marriage I loved my husband, but I yearned for a bit more of a traditional relationship. With my bf it has been so foreign to me to willingly get up in the morning with him before my own alarm and make him a breakfast sandwich to go so he can get out the door quicker. Plus it allows us more cuddle time. My ex did the majority of the cooking in my marriage, but now I do with my bf and I totally don't mind. Actually I fin…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 05:02 AM
27

I have to brag a little. I've known my bf for about two years, but we officially started dating at the end of October. My boyfriend had me convinced he was taking me to this local, fine steakhouse I've always wanted to go to in the 10.5 years I've lived here. He told me he'd pick me up at 8:10 for an 8:30 reservation. One important thing to note is he was recently diagnosed with ADD/ADHD in November and started taking meds, but planning and timing are still a bit of a struggle. He'd already requ…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 06:06 PM
1

shrug when I use it, it's basically the sensation of having it inside. Might be better to make an inquiry in r/sex
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/17 04:58 PM
1

I don't get off by PIV alone anyway, so who knows. I just like the sensation of being filled... I've never had a guy not satisfy that, though.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/17 04:55 AM
1

If it's average then I'd say no...But maybe it wouldn't feel as pleasurable if it was very skinny? Never had a negative experience with girth so I can't say. Some women can't take a lot of girth either, so I think it'll just depend on the woman.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/17 05:47 PM
1

My bf isn't the biggest guy, but while he's jokingly acknowledged his size on occasion, he's never appeared insecure. In any case, I always tell him how much I like it and that having sex with him is a fantastic experience... Because it is. I would never comment negatively about it even if I actually had a problem with it since there's nothing he can do about it anyway. ED would be handled depending on the reason behind it. Medical? Porn? Other? Obviously performance anxiety enters the picture a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/17 12:17 AM
1

If he can get porn free... (ex-wife of a sex addict) Trust me, it had nothing to do with me in the bedroom.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/17 11:52 PM
1

Cool, thanks! I'll definitely look into that one. I need some strength exercises since I was out for 3-4 months with a foot injury and lost much of my gains.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/17 02:58 PM
2

Oh I really need to get back into this...My ex husband and I were doing 5x5 progressive sets fairly regularly for a while until life went to hell. I'm about 138lbs and 5'8" with little T-Rex arms, haha. But before I stopped, I'd gotten to 100 lb squats (ass to grass) and 67.5 lb bench presses. I've started getting heavily into MMA over the past two years so that consumes a fair amount of time, though. But my booty was looking fabulous!
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/17 02:50 AM
3

Haha sounds so familiar. I grew up around now retired National Sales Director, Nancy Bonner, in GA. I've been an "undercover" personal use consultant since I was 18. I can't believe that was 15 years ago! I bounce between the botanical cleansers and timewise.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/17 05:40 PM
3

Mary Kay everything since I was a kid and my mom started selling when I was 8 :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/17 03:29 AM
5

This guy posted in another sub what he and his wife do that I thought was neat (unfortunately my bf wasn't into it). But they each have different colored paper that they write "requests" on...from simple "drop what you're doing right now and come give me a massage or oral or whatever " to "draw me a bath tonight with candles and wine." That kind of thing. Then they put 6-10 notes hidden around the house/car. Once they're found, the action must be taken... and then another note is added to the mi…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/17 12:24 AM
1

If you were thinking about moving in together right now I could understand their concern, but talking about it and planning for 10 months down the road is not crazy. I'm fairly freshly divorced, but I think that's enough time to assess whether you're a good match for each other. Having a welcoming family is extremely wonderful, too. Do what feels best for you, and whether or not you actually end up moving, you're learning and pushing yourself in a positive direction.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/17 09:58 PM
1

I prefer to keep a maintained strip there and shave the rest. Sometimes I get ingrown hairs (other times a lot depending on the quality of the razor), and usually I pluck any that may cause me trouble before I reshave. None of my partners have had an issue. My first bf 15 yrs ago preferred it completely shaved at times, so I accommodated his request. I like my guy's area to be "manscaped" too.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/16 11:09 PM
1

I'm about to be 33 and am struggling with this same topic. My previous marriage of 10 yrs was child-free and I've known since I was about 17 that I had no desire to have kids. That being said, I'm still more of a fence sitter because I realize my fears of parenting are more related to loss of control/independence and having a partner who's very involved will help alleviate it. I like kids and would be open to adopting or fostering. My bf REALLY wants bio kids and is 6 yrs younger than me. I also…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/16 10:59 PM
2

LOL and many say kids ruin marriages too. Actually, I don't think kids specifically do that, but rather add to an already unhealthy brewing pot.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 09:00 PM
3

Just to point something out since you're on "it's all my fault mode," but while you may have inadvertently mentioned the two names, your bf made the choice to have an unauthorized roommate. I have a housing background and this always made me twitch. In this case, though, I wouldn't take this on as your fault at all. He's a grown man who made a poor decision. If you want him to be manlier, start by letting him own his mistakes and not taking them on yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/16 07:50 PM
1

If you believe he's right, why are you broaching this topic? I demand reciprocity of affection in my relationship, even if we speak different languages. My ex husband had sex issues, but he always cuddled me. My current bf is coping with newly diagnosed ADD and increased stress at work so sometimes he inadvertently comes across as insensitive or can't meet my needs. I know this is temporary and I talk to him. However, when we're together he makes sure to express his appreciation of how I care fo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/16 07:39 PM
2

Huh, good to know. I am thin for having both hypothyroidism and PCOS and am always looking for more natural ways to help with it. Thankfully I don't get the hair, but I do have acne since I got off BC 2.5 yrs ago.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/16 07:22 PM
2

I have some close friends (single, married, traditional/non-traditional of both sexes) that I can share things with when I want. I am respectful of my SO's privacy, but I'm a naturally open person. But the general public has no need to know the details of our relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/16 09:59 PM
3

It definitely applies for me and men, too.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/16 05:01 PM
2

I'm currently trying to figure that out as I'm recently divorced and am close to my former in-laws and ex. But at least right now I'll go to earlier xmas Eve Mass (I'd love to do midnight Mass as I always found it to be magical, and in my family we'd open presents upon our return) with my in-laws, and then I'm going with my bf's family to his aunt's house in a town about 30 miles away. They're Mexican and do a large extended family gathering/party, and at midnight do a secret Santa present excha…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/16 02:49 AM
3

I need it... especially if he's struggling and it is impacting our relationship. Plus, I like feeling valued and trusted with his inner feelings, even if he thinks it makes him look weak. I don't want a regularly crying man, but I want to know the whole him and love him in all ways and states.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/16 12:43 AM
11

This sounds extremely controlling to me, especially the fact that you don't even have access to money to get your son a haircut. As for the haircut, if he's not embarrassed by it, then I'd try not focusing on it. If anyone asks, I'd say my husband likes his hair that way. Outside of the haircut, I'm getting a red flag vibe about how he acts toward you anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/16 12:39 AM
2

I treat each failed relationship or bad experience as a stepping stone since I learn things and know better what I want and need. There are some days I feel the past 12 years of my life were wasted because I'm hurt, but then I remember that my ex husband is a wonderful person despite his flaws, and I've grown significantly through all the years. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/16 11:14 PM
3

Personally I think you two could try it since 4 hrs really isn't that far in the big scheme of things. There's really no harm. I actually dated my ex husband long distance for 2 years because he stationed on the coast of NC and I was in college in SC. It was a 5.5-6 hr one way trip. Then he had a 7 month deployment. I found it quite nice to have time to myself, and then when we got together (usually every other weekend) we looked forward to our time together and always had fun. It also gave us t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/16 11:09 PM
1

I'm working on getting myself back to my extremely confident later teenage self (now almost 33) because while I keep myself fit and stylish, I don't place my worth in my appearance. A long time ago (like age 14) I realized I didn't need or want a boob job (still small chested) because it helped me vet out guys who just wanted to be with me for superficial reasons. However, through various traumatic events, I later made the mistake of placing my self worth in the hands of the men with whom I date…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/16 09:08 PM
1

I relate more to men and typically have more guy friends (though I inadvertently ended up at an all women's college, go figure). I was a pretty big tomboy growing up, and still have a "do it myself" attitude. I also actually get a lot of pleasure out of doing more masculine activities such as plumbing repairs and mixed martial arts. I've never had a desire to have my own children and that's like the most anti-feminine thing out there. Shrug Over the years I've embraced a more feminine side that'…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/16 05:03 PM
1

While I personally haven't been with more than 4 guys (I am 32 now but was with my ex husband for 12 yrs so obviously I wasn't on the hunt) I don't find your number to be as strongly negative as you do. I also suspect it's higher than you'd like BECAUSE of your sexual abuse. Some counseling might do you well, but the important thing is that you don't want to do that anymore. I don't particularly think there should be shame if you did, but since you want to change, then great! On the flip side, w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/16 04:37 PM
2

I generally prefer men about 5'11" who are muscular (love me some defined arms, chest, and butt...abs are a plus) who have beautiful eyes and smiles. Must have decent teeth. I seem to have a thing for caramel colored men and can handle some facial hair (but big, bushy beards are a total turn off) and leg hair, but relatively smooth elsewhere. Personality wise, my last three relationships have been with very passionate, hobby oriented, intellectual men. Strong personalities that can sometimes tak…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/16 02:17 AM
7

I don't agree. I'm friends with a trans-female and her family didn't push her into feminine activities. She was naturally drawn to them from a young age. I also had a client who was extremely involved in the trans community because her SIX YEAR OLD bio daughter identified as a boy and wanted to be one. He even changed his name. Trust me, it'd be way easier for the mother not to deal with CPS and all the judgment she receives by "forcing her to be a girl," but what kind of relationship does that …
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/16 03:53 AM
2

Definitely with you on this. My ex husband and I didn't want children, but my bf really does. I'm not even sure if I can have them, but I still sit the fence. I do like kids in general, but I'd die inside being a SAHM. I like having the RPW mentality, but it doesn't mean I have to go against what I like out of life, even if that includes not having a traditional family or doing more "manly activities" too.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/16 07:47 PM
6

I personally enjoy working and like to be in positions where I can positively impact people or the overall agency (updating policies or testing the effectiveness of social service changes etc), but that's just me. I'm nearly 33 and don't have children, but if that should change then I still wouldn't be able to be a SAHM. However, I don't look down on anyone who is or who enjoys feminine hobbies. I just started learning needlepoint, but I also very much enjoy MMA (not cage fighting, but the techn…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/16 04:58 PM
2

I'm on the west coast here in NV too and just recently started embracing more RP aspects. I will still vote on things I feel protect women's rights, but I'm fine having a more traditional relationship and balancing most of my perspectives.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/16 05:23 PM
1

Trust me, I want sex too... but I'm not just giving it up Willy nilly to whomever. I don't expect anything from any particular guy I might choose to date, and he's free to leave and fuck whomever. I never said I didn't care what men want, but it needs to be in congruence with my own needs and desires. The mentality that he's wasting his time because I may not choose to put out by the second date is sad IMO. Why does that automatically lead to "I must be looking for a better guy?" I was in a rela…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/16 07:44 PM
3

I'm rather torn on the issue because I do feel women should be able to wear what they want or go where they please without being assaulted. Note, I do not consider cat calling "rape" and would roll my eyes at a woman complaining about it after getting dolled up. It's to be expected at that point. However, like some others have said, a woman has a responsibility to ensure her own safety. My friend was raped by guys she knew in the military and thought she trusted. She is definitely not one to be …
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/16 07:29 PM
2

No. She didn't say she'd never put out, but is frustrated about how quickly some women put out. You don't DESERVE sex just because you took me out on two dates. If I like you and feel chemistry...maybe. Or maybe I'd rather wait to see if a guy is worthy of me sharing myself with him. If a guy wants to bail on me for having standards then great. He isn't worth it to me then anyway. But there are no worries of a dead bedroom on my end in any case. I'll be his little slut when I've deemed him worth…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/16 06:46 PM
2

I brought up my desire for a relationship with my current boyfriend in a couple of instances. We'd known each other for 1.5 years and this change in dynamic started in August after I moved out of the house with my now ex husband finally. The "divorce" process had started in February, but we didn't actually file until September of this year. Needless to say, it started out as more a relationship-esque FwB which I was ok with for a while considering how things had been going in my life. I also und…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/16 06:33 PM
3

He gets off usually more than me and generally each time, but if I'm rip, rearing, and ready to go then I get mine once or more. There have been a couple of times where he hasn't wanted to get off at all, but he gets immense pleasure pleasing me. I have no complaints, and have been extremely surprised about how my attitude and ways of showing affection have changed compared to my previous marriage. My bf actually was the one to introduce me to this sub because he realized I was beginning to fit …
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/16 09:19 PM
1

I'm the same, but I think it's a natural response to feeling desirable and turned on more frequently. It puts us in happier moods and therefore we seek to find that feeling again.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/16 08:07 PM
5

My new bf and I (I've known him for over 1.5 yrs though) generally average 6 times per week and this has been holding steady for the past 3 months. He's expressed a concern that we're having TOO much sex, lol, because I wear him out. I'm almost 33 and he's 26. But while I do love to cuddle and sometimes torment, he's responsible for at least half or more of the sessions! I love it when he tells me he finds me so sexy and irresistible, and coupled with that is our amazing emotional dynamic. Most …
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/16 07:53 PM
2

Hypothyroidism and PCOS aside (I got diagnosed with then at age 21 and thankfully have been slender for both, but it's frustrating too bc I can't weight loss fix any if it), you're in this boat because of emotional eating most likely. You have self worth issues which is why you're also tagging along with this jerk. You don't think you deserve better. Surgery will probably be pointless because if you don't address the underlying issue (which consequently results in you tolerating his disrespectfu…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/16 06:08 PM
3

I would recommend that as a possibility, too, but only if it was discussed up front in the beginning. Now doing it only cements that he doesn't trust her, and I personally couldn't do that. It would hurt too much. I think this relationship is done for if he invalidates her feelings and doesn't trust her after 2 years.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/16 04:06 AM
1

LOL that's me too! Closeness is very important to me outside of even just sex. Physical touch is my primary love language. My bf is happy to oblige my need thankfully!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/16 03:58 AM
1

Unfortunately they can change their minds even after they put a ring on it. 😞 Learn from it, add it to the cache of what you actually want, and push through. 😃
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/16 06:00 PM
1

Uggh. Yes. Just yesterday I had the discussion with my closest friend that became physical in early August. We've helped each other get through a very hard time for me (recently divorced from my marriage of 10 years) and my friend was up front about "not being ready for a relationship." Cool, neither was I. However, we were exclusive, spent pretty much every evening together, have planned things together, and all in all had an informal relationship. Right now he's going through an obsessive stat…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/16 05:59 PM
14

Yeah that's rather weird in my opinion, especially if he's comfortable having you at his house. "Hi, I'm afraid you could potentially be psycho, so I'm not going to give you my real name....but here's my address!" I don't know if I could handle this situation. It just brings up a huge red flag to me.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/16 05:44 PM
1

Legit. The guy I'm seeing now is not physically what I'm used to being attracted to...but I don't care! He's 5 inches shorter than me, but he's strong and stocky, and can pick me up and throw me into bed. He carries himself with confidence and his personality fills a room. I call him my little Napoleon sometimes, haha. He's dominant, yet considerate. Makes decisions yet will make sure anything that impact me is ok by me. Protective and tender. And while he's an average libido to my HL, he addres…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/16 05:13 PM
1

My ex husband and i were married for 10 years and generally split tasks. He preferred to organize and cook and I did more cleaning tasks. I appreciated his efforts (he wouldn't want me even involved in laundry, lol). I miss having a guy do most of the cooking, but my new guy is really turned on by me being "domestic." I have discovered I actually don't mind cooking for him at his place if he buys all the ingredients. I've wanted to expand my culinary skills, so it works out for both of us. It's …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/16 07:52 PM
1

This does not apply to me! 😂 Of course I have PCOS and my hormones are not normal, but I've always enjoyed and wanted more sex and intimacy than my partners. And I will take care of myself throughout the day if need be, too.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/16 11:33 PM
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