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Tasty_Dinner6530 Archive

View 14 posts and 193 comments by Tasty_Dinner6530 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I am trying to do the best I can with eating well , taking care of my mental healthy as well. And finding joy in small things it helps
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:42 AM
1

♥️
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:41 AM
2

It’s been a rough year man! The separation and the anxiety around it. Financial stress, emotional burden and stress at work. I had a bad phase of health too with my knees literally breaking. I picked myself up during the summer, quit smoking and thing seems to be picking up for the better but then come in the fall I just all went down and getting laid offf was stressful too. I was looking forward to just chilling and catching a break but can’t. Thanks for saying I am having a rough year it’s bee…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:40 AM
2

Oh man! Sending you love and prayers !
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:36 AM
2

You Just saying this makes me feel so good! Thanks you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:35 AM
2

You aren’t alone man. I have been part of this community for the past year and it helped me so much knowing there are people out there feeling the feels just like me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:34 AM
2

Thank you! I think I need to rejoin my cross fit which has taken a back seat. It’s just a lot of things hitting me all at once, socially getting the laid off part. It feels good to just share it out loud. Thanks for the kind words
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:34 AM
1

I took a motorcycle riding course :) and might get into buying a motorcycle next year as a way to relax, find new community and have fun ;)
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 10:15 PM
3

Very thoughtful. As someone going through the same my main challenge is to get out of the house and experience something new! So perhaps a class pass or an experience which can be delightful or make him feel fresh would be nice. This also doesn’t come off as “oh poor you going through divorce” it’s more like “hey I tried this and loved it maybe you should do it too! “
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 09:25 PM
3

In my case it has been a process. It was the same for me as well phone showing memories and all so I moved them from my phone to Google Photos and turned off all the features and notifications. It’s been a year now and seeing your messages actually reminded me Damn I have those pics and have to delete them. Long story short - it’s different for everyone. But keeping things out of sight does get them out of the mind and with time the attachment goes away so eventually someday they will just becom…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 06:15 PM
3

I admire your honestly and self awareness. I think you already know that it’s too soon for any commitment or long term relationship and that you need to focus on yourself to grow out of your experience as a better human. Having said that , healing doesn’t need to happen in isolatation and this “situationship” might be a good next step in that direction. A few key things to reflect upon are 1. Your goals with this situationship: It helps to have the comfort of someone but know that this shouldn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:50 AM
1

Hey man, this is a very fimiliar feeling for most of us who go through this experience and it normal. I am not saying this to undermine your feelings but to tell you that what you are feeling is legitimate and a natural response to the trauma. You are young, very young and have a whale life ahead of you and so many things going well for you as well. The distant future might seem blur at the moment so focus on the short term day to day - cut you self some slack, show yourself grace and kindness. …
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 06:38 AM
2

Honestly , I felt like loosing confidence and so much pressure on myself felt crushing - so just relax , just be human and interact without any objective.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 06:12 PM
3

Out of a marriage of 3yrs and it’s been a year since separation and I haven’t stepped into dating. What you are feeling and going through is normal. And it appears your priorities are in the right place. I would at however that do not isolate yourself, surround yourself with ppl. I felt my personality broke and self confidence shattered so day by day I took myself out to coffee shop, or library and started talking to strangers. Then around 6months mark went on a dating app not with the intention…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:50 PM
4

Hey man, I don’t have anything I can say to make you feel better but what I will say is that - you are strong and resilient. You have a great mindset which shows positivity and can do attitude. Also, knowing that there are a few people going through a lot of stuff , not as severe as you define and it helps to know you aren’t alone.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:52 PM
2

I got a paid version of chatGPT to upload documents and all. My intent was to arrive to an acceptable of settlement $$ which I already had in mind but used gpt to validate it. Think of it as an intern vs a professional so you would be much safer. It did help me come up with talking points though (I never used them)
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 03:32 PM
2

With that user name, I am hoping you get a bezos level yatch next and the invite me over for a cruise :) 🚢
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 05:24 PM
1

Yeah I took the course already and have the license . Just was thinking if I should go all the way. My thinking right now is go get into it and if I don’t like it then well I can always sell this and move onto something else and get it out of my system
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:30 PM
1

Nice that’s exactly the plan. I will be getting all gear and bikes which are used and see if I like if
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:25 PM
2

Old of mine ex ventured into scuba 🤿 hahahaha man, this is interesting!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 05:44 AM
1

Hahaha I thought about it. That’s next perhaps. Honestly I want to do all the Adriane junkie stuff, I went snowboarding last season for the first time and man did my knees said “fuck you”. It was so much fun and I feel a millions times. Might go ahead try this season too ;) Thank don’t know shit about snow boarding but was hell of a trip
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:29 AM
1

That is a good call out and I will double check my emotional state honestly. Although I don’t feel depressed or sad lately as the divorce process is coming to closure. The past year has been rough. I have given up a few bad habits (weed etc) and replaced them with healthier ones consuming motorcycle content instead. Call it moto-porn idk lol 😂 But yeah , I feel this motorcycle rabbit hole keeps me excited and it’s something so ME . None of my buddies do it , they want to travel and all and I am …
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:35 PM
2

Yes that’s the plan!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:10 PM
1

Thanks! 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:09 PM
2

Lovely!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 07:43 PM
1

Yes all valid points I took the safety course and starting out it’s more for pleasure so maybe on weekends when traffic is low in early morning
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 06:24 PM
2

Yes most people at my age are driving their kids to soccer ⚽️. Well I wouldn’t mind that life but what can I say , I don’t have that so I have something else which makes me happy! I should give comics a try ! I haven’t ever read any but am a marvel fans so any suggestions where to start from?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 06:23 PM
1

Hahah true!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 06:20 PM
2

Yeah I am in toronto so basically it’s the same. I am going to get a used one anyway so probably cap my losses in case if get out of the hobby
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:31 PM
3

I tired that and it’s too slow. I am thinking CBR650R - I got my MSF license last fall seasons but thinking if I should really take the leap
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:29 PM
1

This is a good idea. Might get into golf and car as a second phase tbh. Riding a bike it’s just very “me”.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:28 PM
1

Hahahahahaa epic
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:08 PM
1

I got it F1 last year and wanted to buy the play station when I got divroced. But instead I was like this hobby won’t stick so I downloaded the game on my phone instead and played for a few months and yeah am done with it. I would love to try sim racing though.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:07 PM
8

Shameless plug: I am a brown guy in Canada approaching 40! God help my chances 😂
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:14 AM
3

Dude - this is such a life hack ! I am stealing this
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 06:39 PM
10

TLDR: If the roles were reversed, she would treat you worse. You are hurt and processing your feelings. Thinking about yourself doesn’t mean that you are thinking bad for others, and in your case you are being ruthless about prioritizing yourself care and boundaries. Be grateful that you proactively safeguarded your interests ahead of time and , there is it your worse fear coming true - betrayal of trust! You didn’t do anything wrong. Next step: stop taking her calls man. Move on
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 04:35 PM
0

Sure bro you can disagree.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:15 AM
1

Also - if you are feeling overwhelmed, use ChatGPT to your advantage. Get the premium version it’s like $20 something for a month and ask it to prepare some talking sheet and baseline numbers. ChatGPT shouldn’t be treated as advice but as. A starting point to get you thinking. The pro version lets you upload files so you can trauma dump on it and share financial statements to get a baseline and range and talking points. I had a settlement agreement which went back and forth and renegotiated. I s…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 04:20 PM
2

Don’t get emotional. Control your words and tone. Don’t see yourself short. I went into early when I was emotional and agreed to a lot which wasn’t right. This is a business transaction - be factual , be prepared. It’s a business negotiation , know what you want, your upper and lower limits - know when to walk off. Don’t handover any money, until your demands / requirements are met. My lawyer didn’t even propose putting money in a trust until things get sorted - I had to propose that to them. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 04:13 PM
8

Same here and been in the midst of separation for the last year which held me back from from moving on, but in reality I am in my own way. I spent days inside the house and didn’t go out and not having done anything made me more sad. I used to run 5k and enjoy life but alls that had gotten into the back seat. What worked for me: 1. I got a cheapest Fitbit and promised myself yo walk 3k steps to recover from my kneee injury. 3k turned into 7k steps and then 10K, then I started to walk inclined fo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:32 PM
5

I know bro, I know. And sorry you are going through this. I can relate as my story is similar and not just mine but a lot of men. I agreed for therapy and went but all the improvement came into my while she said she didn’t go anything and was perfect. My guilt cycle lasted for over 6+ months with continued therapy. Reframing the situation helped me, plus a bit of change of environment as well. Guilt is inevitable but know that you tried everything you could in your capacity, you have your 100% a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 03:11 AM
4

Yeah man took a lot of processing internally to really nail this down to avoid giving anyone any explanation, and avoid blaming and being a victim. The more I was explaining about what happened the more I felt I was slipping down the slope and no one cared and I felt stupid - so a crisp response was best
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:18 AM
4

I struggled answering this question myself and after a lot of deliberation came to a simple answer which I used even with my family as well. “We weren’t getting along so decided to part ways instead”
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:07 PM
2

In Canada you have a mandatory one year cool down period while you evaluate or negotiate the terms so it’s stressful to live that period of back and forth
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:33 PM
1

Yes I think I need to hit the gym and get in shape tbh. That’s my number 1 priority right now besides managing the financial turmoil
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:41 PM
1

I am in Canada and used some website to draft an agreement but it was a template which never actually got used. Eventually had to hire the lawyers. If you are in Canada both parties would need legal representation even to execute the separation agreement as the law requires both parties to have ILA (independent legal advice). Maybe reach out to some law clinic and they might be able ti help.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:55 AM
3

Yes I think lately i am thinking of keeping in touch with friends and leaning in. Being an immigrant doesn’t help but I have some friends residing close to me. I have to take mindfulness and meditation serious. And yes working out - I need to start small but start. Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 11:14 PM
2

Thank you so much! I am at a loss of words to appreciate this kind and valuable message brother. Thank you 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 09:52 PM
1

Very interesting framework So GYM > Purpose > [women when am ready] > hobbies ! This really helps structure my life tbh!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 09:34 PM
5

I know this is something you weren’t expecting and Hence it might come off as cruel , very understandable. She is prioritizing herself over everything and while your baby girl will grow up as an amazing person - it would be so traumatic for the entire family to be living together and not getting along.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 02:31 PM
1

Honestly, spend this time to try out a few bikes, research if you haven’t - it’s a process buying a motorcycle and I am just starting to get into myself - with no settlement date insight lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:43 PM
6

Way to go my bro! Happy for you and get that BIKE! However , wait for everything to settle and signed and bullet proof and over before you make any decisions coz like others said things can be unpredictable!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 04:12 PM
2

Aww man I love that for you. I think you have given me so much to think about.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 09:27 PM
2

Honestly man, I want to heal which means take sometime off from anyone’s trouble, enjoy life do things I want to of been wanting to for a while. Hence I haven’t been dating
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 09:10 PM
2

This is very very insightful . I have been trying to deal and heal alone and it tough
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:40 PM
1

Thank you! I think you are right :) I was going to the gym but have fallen of the routine - always sayin tomorrow tomorrow :(
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 07:35 PM
6

Thanks man. Yes I think I will lower the barriers for myself. Perhaps take a walk would be a good start coz that’s what helped me built momentum
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 03:25 PM
7

This is the way ! Love this for you man! I am on this path but struggling but I know I will get there :)
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:15 PM
3

4!!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 03:54 PM
2

It’s the new social media crazy to label husband as narcissistic and avoid any responsibility as a wife of any actions. I am in the same situation as well. truth be told - if you were narcissist you would lack the ability to ask this question which is self reflect in itself. HOWEVER, this is not to say that most humans beings do have narcissistic traits and those can cause issues in a relationship but that’s every human being. Bro - you are being gaslit into feeling everything is your fault and …
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 03:48 PM
1

As a man, I struggle to share my feelings with my guy friends and admire the presence of females who understand emotions. You may not like this but you are way too young to be supporting anyone’s emotional state - if you were my little sister I would say , why are you putting yourself through this? Having said that, here are a few pointers for you: As a friend of even a partner - it’s not your responsibility to heal anyone. What you can do is to be there for the person who is hurting. To be effe…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 06:15 PM
7

Hmm it’s considerate of you to think about her complains. My advice would be to sit down with her when she is not PMsing and talk about grievances she has and establish boundaries about what is acceptable in what she can say and not say. Just because she is PMSing isn’t an excuse to make your life miserable. For you however: it’s essential to equips yourself with tools skills to have effective communication without making her feel attacked or feeling defensive
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 05:44 PM
1

This! It would be a struggle but keep going. Two steps forward and a step backward is still progress
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 06:35 AM
2

No not really! Sorry !
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 08:16 PM
3

Therapy might work if both parties want to make it work and effort meets to be put in. I feel in my case it was a checklist item before she choose to part ways coz we hardly went there for 3mths
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 07:20 PM
2

I can share my thought and experience so far. I am separated about a year and because of maybe main emotional issues I am celibate now. This make me horny and angry but I used porn as coping mechanism and whenever I do talk to strangers and other human I feel good, internally. All this is to say that what you are going through is very normal. However, at some point you have to under stand that needing intimacy is a human need and wanting sex as well. For me I am in my own way, because of cultura…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:58 AM
2

I feel you man :) thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 08:59 PM
1

Yeh I think this makes sense
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 12:08 AM
3

Yeah I think I shared my thoughts with a friend ans I came to a conclusion that I just need someone to laugh with
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:33 PM
3

Mine lives a few continents away :) my goal I think is to seek connection and friendship
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 07:15 PM
7

Solid points and I agree with them. Also the title makes for great SixWordsStories.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:27 PM
9

This is a great question and I HOPED for reconciliation earlier in the process. Begged for it in fact. I drew a whole tree diagram to help structure my thoughts - imagine! As time passed (a year into separation, no agreement finalize and pending on her side) I came to terms on not being with her and this boiled down to a few key point Trust is broken - so immediate going Into the same relationship will not change anything in fact it will require more work with less return if you put into the sam…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:58 PM
3

I could go at lengths on how she is manipulating you, but here is the deal man - you get your stuff in order and leave. She isn’t the right one for you and you don’t have to put up with nonsense which do not align with your values. I know we get caught up being the provider and being the nice guy and caring person BUT that attitude is only reserved for women that appreciate those efforts. One thing I learned from my STBXW was that, she quit on the relationship and I was like damn - I never had t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 01:21 PM
3

Thanks for sharing this. And let me tell you that you aren’t alone who feels like this. I don’t have answers for you but rest assured many men feel the same. Not being in a place to commit because there is so much to sort out. And we are a species that need logical sorting of things. Be kind to your self man, and you might feel shit but you have your priories so right! Be proud.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 01:06 PM
3

So wholesome!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 12:22 AM
2

Contemplated this a few weeks ago and I think the below statement pretty much sums up most context, conversation and thoughts for me. Repeat after me: It’s not my business anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 04:40 AM
2

Add to this 1. Calculate the expense you are going to have should you chose to sell the house such as taxes, seller commission , mortgage breaking / renewal fee. This should better guide you in how to split the equity because if you don’t sell you are saving her some costs as well vs she is doing you a favour. Keep this in mind and use this however or not at all.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 12:16 AM
1

You want reviews :p lol 😂 Yes it is technically.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:52 PM
3

Jerking off Onlyfans Go to dates without any expectations and see how things evolve. You can be honest that “hey I am out being casual and not looking for anything serious” and let them decide how they want to take it forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:40 PM
3

I feel you bro, I am from some similar culture , I am brown where this is considered a weakness. Anyway - some ppl have their own way of dealing but the immediate circle of trust you can tell. Family , close friends and support you , but for anyone else even friends acquaintances etc - just say we didn’t get along do we parted ways. You don’t want revenge ad much as it hurts right now , so tell yourself to not share right now. You choose to later and that’s okay.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:15 AM
7

DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT engage or give reaction. My STBXW harassed me and then used my reaction against me. Buy headphones, go for walk when such things are happening - don’t complain to her don’t make suggestions do not engage at all. Remove yourself from the situation as much as you can bro
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 02:14 AM
3

Same situation of been accused with labels. It took me 6 months of therapy after separation with the same and different therapist to come to terms that I didn’t everything I could and I tried everything I could to be the best husband. So - these intrusive thoughts are normal, you need to tell yourself that only a good man, who isn’t narcissistic would feel the guilt or feel bad if they could have done anything better or not . Clearly if you can reflect means you weren’t the problem (or atleast n…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 01:39 AM
2

I am experiencing the same, it’s an effect of divorce trauma. Also since life messes up little things add up to make this worse such as irregular sleeping and eating habits
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 06:10 PM
3

Basically- ex will paint to as villain and get sympathy from anywhere. The trust always lies in between their and our stories.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 03:10 PM
8

I sometimes wonder that how parents don’t see the injustice their children are doing to their spouses. I mean my parents would smack the shit of of me if they knew I was indecent or misbehaving in my relationship while my STBXW , her family supported her delusions. She isn’t the only case. We have a family friend and the women in that case is crazy but her parents refuse to believe that she could potentially be wrong in some instances.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 04:07 AM
9

Living through this right now. I think someone mentioned the term narcissistic family I think that why my inlaws are. Everyone is the same in that household.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 04:04 AM
1

I am listening to this audio book titled : “Non Violent Communication “. Great resource to improve interpersonal and business communication
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 09:45 PM
1

You are in such a great position to decide actually. You can only do two things: 1. Think of yourself and your needs only : Only see your POV and ignore his feelings and his truth and react to this while situation by breaking up. No harm in that tbh coz it’s not working for you. 2. Be kind and generous and be his GirlFriend he needs- trust him and go about your day and life as usual. Use this as a bonding experience if you want.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:55 PM
1

As someone experiencing the same feelings : That note could just be a journal entry, expressing that he is grieving “who he as a person used to be” and now he will have to really re-develop and re-discover himself. Has nothing to do with the desire to go back to his ex. Because neither is she that person nor is he the same person as he was- so there is nothing there. There is just grief of your boyfriend loosing his identity and missing his fun he used to be. And with time - he will re discover …
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:47 PM
1

Honestly a lot to unpack here and thank you for sharing. I don’t know the complete picture so excuse me if I make assumptions. You offering him that “ he can go back to her”, it’s exactly the opposite of what he needs to hear. Actually he doesn’t need to hear anything on the matter unless he brings it up. What I am understanding from your POV is that , his healing phase is making you uncertain about your future with him. So you need to decide what you are okay with and what you aren’t. Asking so…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:37 PM
2

Allow me to speak to you as a friend! Honestly - idk if you have experienced breakups or not but divorce does lead to a loss of Identity. His note could just be him expressing and you being bothered by it doesn’t help him. Now what that means for you! Honestly - you should trust him and accept that he is healing and needs time to really be himself or discover himself again. Why does it bother you? Because you need clarity on where the relationship stands or does he has feeling for you? Well acce…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:07 PM
3

Seems like a journal entry to me honestly which could be a mechanism for him to process his feelings. I think he has that right to that space. As a girlfriend you could have a conversation with him which can go in two ways: Validate him that you understand his feelings toward his ex, his situation of switching jobs and your guys relationship and offer that you support him through this. Encourage him to journal as it would speed his recovering and help your relationship. Ask yourself what is it a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:44 PM
1

Honestly - I had similar experience. I drafted the agreement and offered to get her Independent legal advice (ILA) but she went and lawyered up which is fine and I was hoping it would be straightforward. 11 months in after exchanging disclosures , she refused to settle for the REVISED and increased amount she proposed and I agreed to. Now she is refusing to sign proposing increases the settlement amount further just because I want the payment terms which are standard (by means of a trust and no …
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:55 PM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:19 PM
3

Get an opinion from lawyers. The optics won’t be good, If you intentionally quit your job , it might go against you as you deliberately reduced income reduce child support.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 03:28 AM
2

Pls get a lawyer. It’s not just about paper work but safeguarding your interests. It maybe start as amicable but it rarely is. So better be safe than sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 04:09 PM
1

I think these thoughts are normal and make us human. There are moments I feel lonely but I try to just let those feeling flow and not accept them as facts. These are feeling and emotions - they don’t define anything about the future. So yes when you feel lonely , don’t fight it - accept it and say to yourself I am feeling lonely. And know that it’s a feeling which will pass and tomorrow you will be in a healthier mind frame to focus and then can think about ways to reduce loneliness.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 10:42 PM
3

Hello OP! What you are feeling is a very natural response to the trauma. Pls understand that divorce is mentally and emotionally exhausting. There is a loss of identity, loss of self and a sense of confusion - all very normal experiences. What you need is to show your self some grace, some love and a bit of realization that things will take time to heal and get back to the new normal. Few things that keep me sane , I would say are: 1. I started to hyper focus on my own self ; physically , emotio…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 10:39 PM
3

Cannot emphasize enough on how accurate this is. Pls understand this is a traumatic experience and you will face intense emotional turmoil and ups and down so - these tools mentioned here such as writing it down (journaling, or making flowchart , whatever works for you) Leverage your support system (friends who have the capacity to listen are key)
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 09:00 AM
4

Adding on : I didn’t realize mentally capacity is a thing until it went zero for me during the divorced work suffered bad, unhealthy habits crept up and I was sad. Understand that this is a traumatic event and doesn’t define your mental capacity - so stop lying to yourself , like you aren’t am unaffected by it. Everyone is affected. Strength lies in How you handle is, and manage this with grace. The more you put your mental energy in fighting things the more it will depletes accept and let thing…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 09:17 PM
2

Hey! What you are experiencing is a very legitimate feeling and let me add to that you will swing between emotions too. Feeling like you are doing ok one moment and terrible the next. It’s alright it happens. Now to your question : What you want to be careful about is which people are we talking about ? Are you some who wanted to advertise how you are feeling or just amongst friends ? Audience and message is important. What works for me is: 1. I didn’t tell anyone at work 2. I have a friend who …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 09:12 PM
1

This way we both loose :) but if I do see an unreasonable demand on the settlement I will push for it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:20 PM
4

Idk man what up with this species !
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:18 PM
3

My wife read “The Mountain is You” - and I think In all her healing from past trauma of her parents passing away and her family being shitty to her (all the while I supported her) as soon as things patched up with family she ditched me :)
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:59 PM
1

I literally agreed to the exact number she and her lawyers proposed without any negotiation or resistance. The only thing I asked for was accommodating timelines for property transfer. Everything you are saying makes sense and I agree but She is unhinged - she wouldn’t talk to me , it’s been 11 months to separation and she doesn’t respond to my texts or email. I cannot reason with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:57 PM
1

Exactly the same situation. Idk who she hired first maybe a friend or someone and changed her lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:36 PM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:35 PM
3

Yeah I shall do that
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 03:14 AM
4

Thanks this is my approach - idc what she tells others tbh , we live away from family so that’s a plus. I am not even penny pinching she is just being greedy now tbh. My offer is more than what she would get in equalization and spousal support tbh (I asked ChatGPT 5). Let see what happens man. Fucking distressing despite being a good human all along , the law can really screw me
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 03:13 AM
2

I have been fair and transparent but I feel now she is exploiting me
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 03:09 AM
2

You summed up my three paragraphs into a neat , crisp sentence : filling a void! That’s what it is!
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 05:28 PM
7

I think we can all deny how much emotional turmoil divorce can bring to us and feel fine however the reality is - we aren’t sure of what we want until The trauma subsides. Acknowledging this help - and so because I am also separated for 10mths now, I choose to not make BIG decisions as they can’t be rooted in emotion , anger or frustration. These decisions, for me include , buying a new car, spending over a certain amount of dollar impulsively or even venture into dating. It’s not my place but i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:52 PM
7

Help them in their daily chores which are scalable. I really struggled initially with meal prep and cleaning the house - I didn’t ask any of my friends for help on this but would have been nice if they offered.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 06:59 PM
1

I hear you buddy. My STBXW is also beyond a point where she can acknowledge her part in our divorce. For better or worse- I have made my peace with the situation that I can only control my actions and thoughts and I am not responsible for anyone else or their reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 06:55 PM
1

OP - the best way to deal with this is to accept that this is a crisis moment and you weren’t prepared for it. Accept that you will face emotions same swing between different moods. Recognizing these feeling will help you manage yourself - it’s nothing bad or wrong. You will feel guilt for a lot of time, and then you will realize it wasn’t all your fault and you did all you could. Having said all of this - pls don’t play a martyr or the victim. Keep things fair when it comes to financial or othe…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:44 PM
5

First of all know that divorce takes a toll on you as a human, mentally, physically , emotionally. In this time show your self grace and kindness. I think you have been doing pretty well - focusing on yourself , putting yourself together and doing the hobbies and gym. Change the frame of this from healing to growth and as an investment in yourself - see this as a new journey you are on and find pleasure in it instead of expecting this to fix anything. Once you seek pleasure in your day to day ac…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 02:55 PM
1

I am with you on the analogies there! I don’t have storage or processing capacity either. A friend was ranting and I said can we not do this so cannot process !
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 12:33 AM
1

It’s going to take that long ? Yikes
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 02:01 PM
1

Thanks for the explanation and guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 02:00 PM
1

This is great coz I feel the same - I can hardly focus on work or am not motivated at all. I am starting to take my vitamin C, B-12, D and magnesium + zinc at night. Could do you feel comfortable to D me the medicine or generic name for it and I can ask my doctor about it? I don’t know if I was hasty to turn my doctors opinion down when she said meds - I am scared of the side effects tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 03:21 AM
1

I likely have ADHD but have been pushing through life. Thanks I shall read upon the symptoms.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 03:14 AM
2

Focusing on work is a big challenge tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 02:58 AM
1

I haven’t done formally , is there like a test or exam for it?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 02:08 AM
1

:(
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 06:27 PM
2

Thanks man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 04:53 PM
3

Yeah. I had let myself go for a few months But today is day 1 of me getting back to my healthy diet, and starting with walking routine.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 04:15 PM
1

Oh man! You are speaking my mind out! I think I might be having ADHD as well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 04:00 PM
3

Thanks! I am in therapy grief counselling and adjacent stuff. I will bring the memory thing with my therapist! 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:25 PM
7

Guilt can creep up and I think it’s good you identified it. It’s very normal you feel this way but it takes two to tango. Now I don’t know how much you and your ex wife made efforts to improve the relationship but let me tell you this - you cannot improve things alone. If you are a better person now - you are because of the effort you are making and the new environment you have (the new gf). Environment helps in determining how you respond and learn and adapt. Bro - I know you feel concerned abo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 03:39 PM
2

agreed with everything you said
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 06:23 PM
3

Yes I agree with all these and I am in a similar path , telling myself daily to go to gym but haven’t started lol 😂 I know what you mean though - I atleast lost myself in the relationship and now I am rebuilding myself to just being happy and then whoever (women) wants to join in for the ride is welcome!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 06:17 PM
2

Similar emotional state and I have asked about the topic here too a few times. I think as a first step just go out and meet people if you aren’t already doing that. Dating comes after that, maybe you will find a confidant or you know learn to manage your emotional state better after a few experiences. It’s very normal and it is overwhelming! Give your self grace and release the pressure of your self :) Idk how healthy it would be to date someone when you are so emotional but if you state the int…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 06:09 PM
1

Thank you so much 😊 I agree. I actually didn’t know what loving myself meant tbh and I am learning about it. I read this book “Love your self like your life depends on it” and it has given me great perspective on what it could mean and tangible tools ⚒️ to work on it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 03:53 PM
2

I just summarized it. I think you explained it better and thank you for that!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:50 PM
1

Damn! I was completely unaware and didn’t even think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:49 PM
1

This is insightful! So definition of how we define and feel love change as we age and after divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:48 PM
1

🫣hahahah I completely missed that!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 07:28 PM
1

What do you mean by see professional? As in date or go to therapy? Also - I am intrigued by the stats that my chances of being divorced again are high - can you share some more insights
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 06:59 PM
1

Is that so? Fuck! Thanks for the reality check !
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 06:35 PM
2

Let’s just say I am funny 😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 05:48 PM
4

Fair enough ! Yeah I am really questioning a lot of cultural conditioning and ideas about what should be vs what I want - and your message resonates with that
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 05:47 PM
2

I should have mentioned - I don’t have kids
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 05:21 PM
3

Thank you brother - I think you have articulated my feelings and experience very well. I want to do all of the stuff all at once, eat well gym be social and I end up not doing anything. I find your advice useful in the sense of taking it slow - even if it is day at the gym to start with. I am happy you are in a good place - I don’t feel morbid I think I just feel overwhelmed at the moment. I Will take your advice and try to be disciplined about self improvement:)
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 05:20 PM
2

This is great. I might reach out sometime when I feel I am ready
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:34 PM
3

Thanks man. Yes I think I want to be focusing on building my life with gym and perhaps being cool but I don’t want to completely let go of a chance at intimacy. Maybe FWB with boundaries could be something to explore. Coz idk how I think about relationships at the moment
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:33 PM
3

OMG this is so sweet and it’s precisely what I am looking for. I think my ex had a lot of trauma so she was unable to be present in the relationship and eventually decided we should part ways. Any advice for me sir, on how / where to find a good partner , things to prioritize and what things you found to do differently? Feel free to DM
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:04 PM
7

Hahahaha I like your sarcasm and optimism- can’t decide which one I like more though ! Thanks buddy !!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:01 PM
1

Sorry man!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:38 PM
3

❤️
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:24 PM
1

Thank you my man! I am so happy for you :) 🥹
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:13 PM
3

Getting a divorce is a traumatic experience. It’s not good for the first few months , you loose your identity and uncertainty of the future kills you. As for friends - well your group of friends might stay yours incl their wives , however they will have to chose between the two of you and YOU will have to decide the boundaries of what’s acceptable for you. Everyone is different, every case is unique but one thing is common - Divorce isn’t easy and is turbulent. BUT - things get better with time.…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 04:17 PM
4

Thank you 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 10:05 PM
7

Thank you for saying this out loud. I have been feeling the loss of identity and lack of self confidence, and your post I a light of day that shines to reassure that this is a normal experience to have and that it gets better
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:26 PM
5

Hey man I feel you completely and this past weekend was particularly tough. I can’t even imagine how much you must miss your family and the moments you shared with them. I have been in this spot where I felt alone. A few things helped me 1. Took up reading 2. Spend time with my guy friends 3. Found activities to do with strangers 4. Start making my meals Although all of it hasn’t solved my loneliness it makes me feel optimistic about having control over my own life which wasn’t there a few month…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 03:31 PM
4

Men extend trust generously - this hits home for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 10:41 PM
4

OP - I admire your spirit and intentions with this and I think you are absolutely right. This clarity comes with acceptance of what is happening or happened. However, an important point to focus on is why did things happen as they did. Why did someone choose to not sign the papers (and deeply thing and resolve that). It’s not just about the financial, I think what hurts men most is the “betrayal” the “breaking of heart” and the failure of eternal love they had hoped for.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:35 PM
3

Going through this right now and I think this advice is great. Piece by piece I have started to eat healthy , excercise when I can with the goal to get regular and started reading books. All of this doesn’t take the anexity away but it helps to manage it and take a different view of the world. OP - you are human , allow yourself to be sad and know that you aren’t alone!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:23 PM
1

Thank you :)
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:56 PM
1

Thanks 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:23 AM
2

Thank you :) I can’t express how much your response mean to me!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:15 AM
2

Eye contact is fine - I just don’t feel the need to confidence to walk to women.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:29 AM
0

Since it’s a very chaotic time and many thoughts go through one’s mind - so you might have to read different subjects depending on what you want to solve for. Having said that this book helped me understand my thoughts and where they are coming from an Eastern / spiritual / energy aspect vs western psychology. I am drawing this comparison as I see a therapist and read this book too. It helped me from going into a spiral and not surrendering to my thoughts. The Untethered Soul: The Journey... htt…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 03:41 AM
1

Thank you for sharing - I feel exactly the same as well.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 01:45 PM
1

Yes I think management of my emotions is my responsibility and I am actively working on it specialty while dealing with my lawyer!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 02:03 AM
2

Yeha I think it favours women more than it does men for sure! But sir, thank you so much
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 02:24 PM
1

Imagine all of what you just said below and make this my reality. She hasn’t spoken to me since we separated She refused to divided the asset in half if they get sold . Wants me to assume all expenditures I am paying for half her lawyer feee just to expedite things My lawyers says if I don’t comply to her request she may file for domestic violence charges and doesn’t really need to prove that. I am a male immigrant in Canada :) But I think the sooner I get done with it the better it is!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 02:14 PM
1

That’s is my plan, we are settling for an agreement which works for both of us financially however with delays and misalignment in her part - I am concerned what is the wise case scenario? If we go to court will the court just split 50/50 or proportionate to income? She wants the house to be sold but not share the selling expenses which is $60k. (Selling feee taxes Mortage breaking). It’s in both our names coz you know I wanted to protect her and build a life together.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 01:59 PM
2

This is great advice. I actually don’t have kids but I see the point you are making. Detachment from the outcome will help.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 01:51 PM
2

Yeah I think counselling helped me get over the guilt and Initial shock. I have adopted a calm approach with my lawyer to not get emotional and treat things like “business”
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 01:25 PM
1

I also think - it’s might be me getting worked up as well being emotional and frustrated.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 01:19 PM
1

Fair point
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 01:11 PM
2

Thank you for explaining it so kindly. You are a wonderful person.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 02:51 AM
1

Yeha I think I want to avoid the domestic route but my lawyer need to stop scaring me
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 08:07 PM
1

Thank you man!
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 08:05 PM
1

I have an idea of what is an acceptable settlement looks like for me and if this lawyer isn’t able to get me that - I will change him. I am venting at this point now ! Keeps threatening me that this might turn into a domestic violence case - idk if the anyone has experience with their wife not getting their way and BAM winged a domestic violence case? I honestly don’t trust the law and the odds are stacked against me as my lawyer says coz I am a Brown Make Immigrant in Canada. I pay my taxes and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 07:16 PM
2

I am not at the stage where we go for trial. We are just negotiating the separation agreement. My issues is that my lawyer acts all frustrated when I ask him questions and paints the worse case scenario for me. Like I literally escalated to their partner once when my lawyer called me fussy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 06:49 PM
1

Thanks you ! I needed to hear this
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:25 AM
1

Thanks sir . I think I needed this boost and reminder. I used to be pretty confident but lately I find myself internally so broken to even initiate conversations with reals people. I should focus on building relationships with Males first and get confident and then move to women maybe some day! Thank you so much 😊
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 03:41 PM
2

You are a straight shooter! I like that!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:56 PM
1

Hahahaha how? Any tips for dating a 25 YO?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:50 PM
1

I am actually quite by myself . I have a few close friends in my neighborhood who I see once in two weeks. I am not ready to date or meet new ppl (men or women tbh). I work from home so I don’t go out but I think all of these are excuses for me. I just need discipline which is easier said than done :( also it though I was over the frustration of divorce but it hit me this past weekend :(
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:49 PM
2

🤗 thank you 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:47 PM
5

Honestly - I am taking time to heal myself but I crave affection and connection. I am actively not seeking any relationship at the moment , just hanging out with my friends but I can’t express share deeper feelings with the guys all the time :)
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:50 PM
3

Thank you :) 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:49 PM
3

We went to marriage counselling and it went down hill from there for me atleast. However, things I wish I did before we went Align on the goal before hand on what the expected outcome is for you both. If it to work on the marriage or is it at the stage when one just needs to prove the other person wrong and get out of the relationship Understand that both ppl would need to work - if one partner is saying they are perfect and you work on issues first. This atleast for me didn’t work as all my eff…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 05:26 PM
1

Same! Idk why but even my therapist said women don’t take accountability which was fucked to me - I mean it was a therapist red flag
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 10:10 PM
3

Honestly - my ex used to call me narcissistic with all this social media trends going on. Let me begin by saying - yea every human has some narcissistic tendencies, I mean no one is perfect. However being called out like that and criticized every moment is exhausting. Solution : Seek therapy , just get to know yourself better. So you are able to manage yourself and not react to anyone be it your gf/wife. Moving through life without reacting is the ultimate power to achieve. This all also give yo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 05:18 AM
4

Ditto situation
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 07:09 PM
6

So my bday is tomorrow - and plot twist , so is the wedding anniversary! And been separated for about 5mths now and desperately trying to contact her without success , last week I just decided to move one coz enough of my self respect is lost in reaching out to her and her friends! Imma hangout with my boys (who don’t know abt my separation) and going to give myself a present. No expectations leads to no disappointments! Time to focus on myself! Also : we don’t have kids!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 01:22 PM
4

Thank you for sharing this! I literally posted asking about perspective on the journey yesterday and you shared this today.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 04:33 PM
2

It’s does get better or just worse and alone ? Sorry for being so morbid
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 07:23 PM
1

Thank you all for the feedback. I am not jumping into a relationship or seeking anything in the short term. I think I should have mentioned that! I was wondering how are the prospects in a few years like 1-2 year from now - would I be able to find a girlfriend
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 04:24 PM
1

I needed to hear this! Thanks for sharing OP!
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:44 PM
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