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View 1 posts and 101 comments by TempDetect on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
102

REMINDER 👑TempDetect/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

🖐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 10:41 PM
2

Oh girl. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 02:46 PM
3

When men tell me they're "looking for fun," I shudder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 02:42 PM
5

A (healing) avoidant woman who is attracted to (healing) anxious men: Yeah the beginning is great, but the questions (How is your day? What is your favorite cookie? How was your weekend?) are placing the onus on me to have a conversation and then to actually act/ask them out/take care of those insecurities without acknowledging the insecurities. The validation is great in the beginning but the burden of the two of us is too great as time goes on. I now respond best to men who are aware of their …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 05:26 PM
12

I rejected a man six months ago. He lashed out when I told him it wasn't going to work. Blocked/deleted. Then he used a different number on Whatsapp (could tell it was him because of his face), where he wanted to "explain" why he lashed out. Blocked. Barraged my phone with obscenities and insults. Six months after one date. No intimacy whatsoever. Six months. I'm glad I have an alarm system.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:21 AM
1

Funny. I stopped nagging and he started working, not realizing that it was over. He told me that he felt like he was auditioning for the job he already had and was so tired. I think we made it another two weeks because I just... couldn't give any more energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:16 AM
132

Funny you ask. The only way to win is to focus on what makes you happy. Rock the blonde, fuck the rest. I don't know if what makes you happy is a healthy romantic relationship, but either way you end up winning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 08:59 PM
4

Did it. Realized I don't need permission from anyone to protect myself, and anyone who loves me will listen to my reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 09:55 PM
9

Why respond? Just unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 09:50 PM
1

Exit quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 01:15 AM
27

I'm sorry that you're going through this too. I am often upset by how my appearance changes the way that I am treated. Hair, skin, weight, whatever. Those men will never be my friend - much less a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 01:14 PM
3

Projection. Ignore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:34 PM
10

Had someone eat the gristle off of my finished wings. (Actual) business owner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:04 PM
12

Did we date the same man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:02 PM
12

I broke up with my last boyfriend and stopped drinking at the same time. Came to this realization and am dating entirely sober now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:09 PM
6

That's a "no" from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 09:07 PM
13

Jesus Christ, THIS. THIS THIS THIS. WHY WOULD THEY LIE ABOUT MARRIAGE?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:17 AM
8

Or just... ignore him. He's asking you for emotional validation with no intention of reciprocating. It's an insult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:59 PM
3

The doms I've met are so cripplingly insecure that whatever they have to offer is totally lost. Honestly, it's a total shame because I've met men who are the full objective package except for the reality that they feel like absolute shit and insist on treating everyone else like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:00 AM
21

Or... just forget. I've gotten texts from men I wanted to marry (once) and legitimately couldn't place them a few months later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:46 AM
8

I get it. It's important to have and own my own voice, but spending time screaming into the void (engaging with someone who won't listen) is, thankfully, a phase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:30 PM
3

So maybe I'm the exception here but I prefer younger men because 1. More emotionally available (haven't been pining for the one who got away), 2. More giving because less jaded, 3. More mobile. I don't want to give up my beautiful life and men my age typically haven't grown at the rate that women have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:55 PM
34

Taking a moment. Had a "close out" talk with one yesterday. I aired some thoughts and didn't coddle his feelings. His response was "well, I'm over this and I'm glad it's done".... yet he texted me an hour later to tell me that his feelings were still hurt and his thoughts about my feelings. Bruh, I thought we were done? Why am I responsible for your feelings if you literally tell me you don't give a shit? I did the classy thing, told him that I was sorry that he feels that way, and we parted way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:27 AM
5

Hold him accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:19 AM
14

I see the red flags and I just... don't want to believe them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:14 PM
3

Holy shit. YES. I was talking to a guy who found me again after a few years (we matched while traveling). I was excited to reconnect with him! He is smart, good-looking, driven, and funny. We had some good conversations, but I noticed that he was incredibly down on himself. I think that it ended because of the insecurity. He hurt my feelings - I feel like he put me through a massive shit-test. I'm glad that I didn't sleep with him because it could have been so much worse. The shame is that I rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 03:41 PM
115

The last man to tell me that he wasn't ready for a relationship asked me to be FWB. I told him that there's no such thing and then walked. He texted three weeks later asking to take me on a date. Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:11 PM
8

I've been given or offered jewelry, trips, fancy dinners, etc. etc. And then I've been lied to, physically hurt, stalked, and/or ignored by the same men. I used to feel really insecure about the way that I look. Now, as I'm in my mid-thirties, I understand that the treatment doesn't come because I'm ugly, stupid, or incapable - I let it happen because I thought that I was all of those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 12:31 PM
8

Sometimes it does, but I've found that letting myself be sad helps more. I tend to want to distract myself from negative feelings but have come to terms that unless I process the negativity, it will just build. Journal?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:40 PM
4

Same. Not only that, but articulating any negative emotion was punished/unacceptable. I don't know about your experience but that taught me to push that ish down and annihilated my self-esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 02:59 PM
4

Before lock-down, I went on a date which might have been okay otherwise. I felt like a stranger was forcing me to hold his hand, like a strange older male relative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:59 PM
27

Lying/lots of talking: - Talking about what would happen if we got married (very early) - Talking about his plans to invite you somewhere social - Offering to bring something to you. Oh sure, some things materialize, but just enough to keep you hopeful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:43 PM
6

Yes. I have gone through those feelings - I also suffered from similar things*. Education and age don't really have anything to do with it, but those resources make a world of difference. I went through a divorce. My ex-husband is a good dude. He also had untreated *similar things. I wasn't good for him and he wasn't good for me. I read a whole host of books, worked harder at doing things around the house, worked out, etc. etc. to escape my feelings about it. I burned out. He burned out after I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:23 PM
6

Bingo. I reached out to one of mine while I was in the grips of severe anxiety. I don't know why I found this one specifically, but I realized that I had a lot of shame to deal with when I was afraid to tell him what had happened. Even though there are a lot of dismissive attitudes about poor behavior during this time, this last month has been really terrifying. I'm ignoring my dating stuff, but I understand why everyone is being extra right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:49 PM
10

Your mom is right. Explaining concepts to other people is draining enough - having to add your partner to your "intellectual drag" category will probably foster unnecessary resentment. Education is not an necessarily an indicator of intelligence, just opportunity and preference. There are plenty of smart dudes out there, and many of them don't have formal educations. They have, however, thrived in their respective careers. I'd look for those guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:31 PM
29

She lost her virginity to him!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:23 PM
5

Like... there's a guitar challenge? Learn to play a song as fast as you can? Something like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 09:32 PM
20

I think they're projecting. I've noticed that men love to compete and I just ... don't. I had men sending me "quarantine challenges", etc. and had to vocally pass (and then let it die, because I just don't want to be thinking about that right now). Men have asked me all sorts of questions that assume that I'm here to compete with other people. It's right to shut it down, but it also points to the bigger picture of how this person wants to connect with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 06:32 PM
2

"Okay, thanks for your honesty. Good luck."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:51 PM
4

Thanks for sharing. This time can be useful if you're in the position to reflect. Yep. I have to stop now and ask myself what I'm expecting if I engage someone. Am I engaging because it is best for me emotionally or because I want to be useful/liked? How much energy is going out and how much am I receiving back? If someone subtly insults me, how do I respond? Do I react instead by being silent now and then upset later? Especially during this time, I'm struggling with "Am I reaching out because i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:38 PM
27

Asked a man why he didn't call a woman after a one-night stand: "She didn't call ME."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:58 PM
5

I'm not in the "block" group, even though I believe that it's a bad idea to be friends with men you've ever been physical with. I would be honest. I'd keep conversations non-sexual, and if there is any indication from the other person that the intention will move that way, I'd say something along the lines of "I know that we've had a physical relationship in the past, but I'm not interested in continuing that dynamic with you. I'm interested in a platonic relationship but nothing more." If they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:33 PM
35

I'm not sure? I've gotten a lot of body shots from dudes who are really in shape - it just seems like a thirst move. I'm sure they would be thrilled to get one, but I also think that it's the digital way of showing up and being ornamental?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:02 PM
18

I was looking to hire someone to do some work in my house, and he was recommended. I arranged to meet him at a local coffee place, and he came on really strong/told me he wanted to date me seriously. I didn't hire him because he was telling me how beautiful I was, etc., and he offered to do free work. I ghosted him after he asked about my sex drive when in a relationship. I told him that I didn't want to talk about that, and he kept providing information about himself/asking for more from me. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 06:38 PM
45

Question (with background): I ran into a dude who tried to make me the other woman. Something felt off - he was attractive, accomplished, and... withholding. I wanted to engage but he asked me a couple of things that threw me off and I ghosted him. Fast forward 6 months later, and Facebook has suggested that this dude is my friend. There he is, a month after aggressively chasing me, holding his newborn son with his ever-loving partner. Do I tell her? I have a few pics but wiped the texts... but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 02:15 PM
19

I agree with you. I ignore it. It's trying to figure out if someone is looking for the same thing (usually sex) without being vulnerable enough to experience rejection. I find vulnerability brave and sexy. Even if the person is just looking for sex, an open question shows that he respects me and himself enough to be honest about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 05:19 PM
8

Mine are the exact opposite. They ask me about my day, my lunch, what I think about the weather, etc. etc. without offering me anything substantial about themselves. I'm in the place where I immediately ignore when I get a "hey how's your day going."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:48 PM
70

I always try to avoid any "you" speak ("You should have done, this", "You are X, Y, Z", etc.) - anything phrased like "you" gives the other person an "in" to invalidate your feelings, and I'm just tired of that. Depending on the level of effort you want to put in and the length of the relationship: - "I'm stepping back from this for X and Y reasons." - "Thanks for your time. I'm leaving/done." - "I see things here that are not good for me, and I don't want to continue this relationship." or simp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:28 AM
3

Gentlemen, and 2. gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:53 PM
6

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 01:10 AM
3

Thanks for bringing up the ibruprofen advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:21 PM
11

Honey, first, no one ever deserves abuse. Second, money is important. It keeps us safe in unsafe situations, it sometimes buys happiness, and it dictates a lot of our lives. Money should be respected, and it's important that you recognize that. Maybe you made a mistake, but nothing about that is unforgivable. Third, the thing about abuse is that people who are the most susceptible are, most often, the people with the most to give. The sooner that you realize how much you have to give, the sooner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:15 PM
14

I am also sad. I realize that all of the crap that I've gone through has been people projecting their insecurities onto me, and I've accepted that treatment (or even sought it out) because I was convinced that that's what "love" looks like. I've had happy times in relationships - we all probably have - but I realize that what I need is a man who likes himself. He both legitimately likes himself, and is able to find a partner who he also legitimately likes. And we can just like ourselves and each…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:03 PM
8

I'm more in the "anxious" crowd and I know that I need someone who is more level-headed about it than I am. That said, I tend to attract men who don't take any of it seriously, but I've realized that men (and people) with that attitude are spiking my anxiety - I let a guy go who just went to a festival with his friends and missed a virtual date because of it. I completely agree with your assessment. If any of them were with me at home right now, I'd need to create another subsection of my place …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:48 AM
6

I agree. This is an easy way to assess whether you share common values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:42 AM
1

Honestly, it was so typical of Tinder that it's not even worth typing out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:53 PM
2

I usually date men (25-30) who are actively looking for a relationship but after much trial and error have found that a relationship to them usually means "mom" + intimacy. Sometimes... I wish I were both self-aware AND into that. :/ I'm currently talking to men a little bit older and love it, but I worry about whether I'm getting into the same thing just better hidden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:46 PM
2

This guy came up on my Tinder and his bio was about what you'd expect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:34 PM
5

botox - juvederm. I have a plastic surgeon who specializes in eyes do it. I never thought that I'd be a woman who injects things into her face, but I also looked in the mirror when I was 34 and said "hell no I'm not ready."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:11 AM
14

God bless injectables. I'm 35, stayed clean and have exercised since forever, and have the 'tox/juve. I don't know how old I look but I look fabulous. The problem I've found with men in their twenties is that they get attached easily and have nothing to offer me in terms of emotional depth or conversation. They smell great, though, and have a lot of enthusiasm. In what age bracket have you had the best luck in terms of maturity/looks fit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 11:17 PM
22

Yes. I dreaded checking my text messages and missed calls - I've been dating for a couple of years and the number of men who circle back is astonishing. The final straw was when a man berated me for not having sex with him. I didn't want to be harassed anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:42 AM
11

My actual mental trick which works for me: I pretend that I'm my own celebrity crush. The fantasy is complete when I assume that mentality and I'm able to refocus on my life - I convince myself that I already have the one thing that I want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 02:48 PM
11

It's terrifying. I feel like it's so insidious in a work setting that I can never ask for help because a man telling me 1. to bring him a sandwich, 2. assessing my body, 3. telling me that I can always call him if I want dick is always going to be a "he said she said" situation. All different men *and in the last month. Depending on the person I either take it, verbally defend myself/shut it down, or leave. Personal life/dating is much the same but I feel like I have more control there. I have c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 02:41 PM
37

It took me awhile to block them too - my ego wanted to tell them off as a way to cope with the reality that this man was immediately diminishing me. Unfortunately, now I only feel the emotional sting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 01:05 AM
6

I wish that I had known this when I started dating. It was a tough lesson to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 12:58 AM
10

It's the ultimate neg. He knows (on some level) he's being an asshole. To feel okay about his behavior, he convinces himself that your needs/feelings/standards for behavior are unreasonable. If he convinces you that you're being unreasonable too, then he can continue to like himself unconditionally. If he admits to himself that he's a jerk and it's entirely on him... then he'd have to go through the hard work of changing his behavior. It's easier for him to transfer that responsibility/guilt to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 09:58 PM
30

Or my personal favorite during a breakup: "You judge too quickly."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:30 PM
18

This has happened to me a number of times... with different men. It usually only happens once (if I'm emotionally invested), and resulted in a breakup. If I'm not emotionally invested/occupied with other things, it got worse/persisted. And they ALL blamed me for being the crazy one when I pointed it out or got upset. That's some grade A misogynistic bullshit right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:29 PM
1

The assumption that you've already lost with all women because you're short is unattractive. It's not the height that's the problem. One of the men to whom I've been most attracted is two inches shorter than me. He was attractive to me because he was confident with himself... and so I was confident with him, too. Of course, everyone has their physical preferences. Some women are into taller guys, but I honestly don't think that most women IRL are going to shun an attractive shorter man just beca…
/r/askFDS13/03/20 01:26 AM
14

He negged all of them. He just got the insecure women who had low self-esteem for whatever reason, and then chose the woman who he was most convinced wouldn't leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 10:21 PM
8

WHAT? How did that come around?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:14 AM
3

Funny, when I hear "are we still on?" I hear: "I want to be on but I don't know if you want to be on and I'm afraid to be vulnerable enough to admit I want to see you." Same outcome, though. It's a no-go for me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:55 PM
5

I look for wording. Like "What time are we meeting tomorrow?" versus "I'm planning on X and Y tomorrow - does that work with your schedule?" I honestly don't think that they can tell the difference, but I can smell a waste of time a mile away now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:53 PM
5

Mine aren't even aggressive or angry! They pretend that they didn't do anything wrong! And when I ignore them (in person): "Babe, I was thinking about you - why are you so cold now (after I asked you out then ignored you)?" No, guy. Just... no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:49 PM
10

Happened to me today. My response when he cancelled: "I regret giving this a shot." I think we've all (or most, unfortunately) been where your friend is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:35 AM
2

Something that I do is text myself. I've always been a proactive problem solver for everyone except myself (my self-esteem was based on solving those problems). Now that I focus primarily on managing my own life, when I think of something that can be improved about my work or myself, I text myself gentle positive reminders and literally text myself like a loving parent or partner would - "You'll do great", "it might be helpful if you did 'X' - it might affect 'Y' ", and "I love you." Ironically,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 12:31 AM
3

Great observation: It's a damage thing caused by my family. It's... not good for me and I'm working on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 12:18 PM
2

I typically date men from traditional cultures. The men treat me very well. Unfortunately, a relationship has only worked out long term once. I'm white, and the family usually is pressuring their son to marry another Muslim. Once I figure out that I am treated like a girlfriend but hidden from the family, the jig is up. The deception is incredibly painful for me. Now, I have to ask upfront about family biases if I'm going on a date with a non-American and I hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 12:21 AM
9

"You look so happy in this picture... but your smile is a little gummy." HOW is any of this okay?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 10:34 PM
5

"Hey TempDetect! Remember when you made me apologize to you at a party because I was a douchebag to you? That makes me chuckle. Want to get a drink?" **retch** "No."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:38 PM
7

Because they don't care about your desires or boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:36 PM
43

Also divorced, but still young. I used to think that I would get married to "a man who I never wanted to change and who wanted to spend his life with me" but... now I think "wow, I really enjoy this extra cash and cleaning up only after myself."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:23 PM
2

You're so right! I did this too and this is literally what I realized today: Without addressing MY underlying damage, literally all the men were the same in terms of how they treated me/their self-esteem. They were all LVM, but the ones who looked like HVM were just good at getting their needs met by many different people. The worse-looking LVM were draining and wanted to commit ASAP, the LVM disguised as HVM were never going to commit but had the same kinds of insecurities just with different r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 03:29 AM
4

It's more important to him that he feels like someone likes him (by responding to texts, laughing at jokes, etc.) than for him to put any time or effort into showing up in person and behaving like a man, i.e. he is prioritizing his desire to be liked over your need to feel emotionally safe in relationships. Lying to you and wasting your time is gaslighting, and if you bring it up (like you did), he'll make it seem like you're the crazy one for thinking he was interested in you as a person. Edit:…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:21 PM
10

It's not a game! It's understanding that people lie with their voices, but if he is pursuing you/asking you out/paying, he doesn't have to tell you he's investing... because he's actually investing. If a dude texts me for weeks without asking me out directly, it becomes clear to me that he's just using me for validation with no intention of making any effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:08 PM
9

My response to this is "...seriously?" I get unmatched all the time. My pointing out obvious laziness is just inconvenient for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:46 PM
9

Honey, in all honesty: it takes years. I'm so so sorry. My last real narcissist (versus fuckboy, there's a difference) was 3 years ago. I still reason with him in my head and beg for something to be different. It's terrible what happens to your body but it does get better. I still get triggered by a lot of things, but I know that it's not 100% him (childhood trauma) and I don't break down as often. Please DM me if you need support - I learned that I needed literally anyone BUT him when he was al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:39 AM
5

*standing ovation* Lady, I'm in my mid-thirties and have just discovered your truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:29 AM
3

All the time: "Wow, you're really hard to hang out with" (when I told him I was running 10 minutes late.) "Your grammar is really good. No offense." "You're really cute for your age."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:12 AM
19

AMAZING STORY: An ex, in a manipulative ploy to win me back after two months, emailed me to say that he needs me to take an STD test because his new partner wants to know she's safe. I ignored it... but... does he understand how disease works? Fast forward two years: "I made that up to make you jealous." No. Shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:35 PM
10

"Just here to have fun and see where it takes us."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:31 PM
15

I read that, a drink in my hand, and "NO"ed out loud. I'm at the point where I don't tell them why, or what I want, because it doesn't matter to them. They know what they're willing to give and they just disrespected the fuck out of you and your time. I'm also working on this but: "Nah." then unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:30 PM
9

Thank you for this. I've been telling myself that I've been an asshole for believing that if I tried hard enough then I would have been treated better, and that if I had stopped trying then they would have been the person I believed they were (because I made them work harder). I'm having a really tough time with this. Then I think about all the times that I was literally told that I was special, that we'd grow old together, and how we're each other's favorite... and try to couple it with all the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:05 PM
16

That's the thing! The inconsistent behavior triggers a lot of weird anxieties and internal drama, which is REALLY tough to suss out in the beginning (because who wants someone around all the time when you first meet?). It's only after you get to know someone when you can really see that behavior and understand how unattractive it is. Just another reason to NOT sleep with someone without knowing them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:50 PM
4

"Is it bad that I feel this way?" is a flag to me that he's asking for emotional validation. In my experience, this means that he wants you to not only validate his feelings but hurry your experience back... and signals an inability to self-soothe. I could be wrong ... but I experience this all. the. time. He should be more interested in actively making sure that you're happy rather than focusing on his unhappiness (and drawing your attention to it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:58 PM
23

Hell yes. I'd like to see something like financial planning, how to find/negotiate for decent jobs or housing, hobbies or books that may be out of the way but pro-feminist, etc. etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:10 PM
11

IMO, if he acts like he likes you and says he likes you, then there's really no cognitive dissonance. I would do the things that feel natural to you, and the rest will come in time (i.e. if he makes you feel good then show him that it's working and try to reciprocate - which may take a little practice).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:08 PM
2

Recently: "Your standards are so high!" - says the man with a checklist and a serial dating history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 07:47 PM
7

Avoidant attachment here. Doing the same thing with my therapist. I love how you're approaching this and I wanted to give you a high five. Quick vent: The men and friends that I was attracted to are so so indecisive and needy, which was okay because I needed to be needed. It means that the person I'm with is going to love me for fixing their problems forever... duh. ;) However, as I've worked with myself on being emotionally available, I notice that the men behave like they want me to be around …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:08 AM
3

Recent text: "I'm sorry that you're confused about what you're looking for. Unfortunately, "I don't know" isn't going to cut it for me. Good luck." Always polite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 12:55 AM
6

This sounds like an excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 12:54 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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