TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

TheTwincessMaker Archive

View 4 posts and 282 comments by TheTwincessMaker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

You don't need RP philosophy to be single. BP philosophy will get you there just fine. This is such an excellent point, OP. If you're truly done with searching, one day, all of the blue pill advice about being a happy, single woman, will suffice. You don't need RPW for that.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 10:18 PM
8

Freezing your eggs is an incredibly unreliable option. Freezing embryos is far more effective. Freezing eggs is sort of a myth perpetuated by the Carrie Bradshaws. Frozen eggs aren't especially viable when thawed.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 10:14 PM
3

I personally haven't dated online since 2015, but I've seen posts on the subject declaring Hinge and Bumble to be the best options. I know it can really vary by region, what people are using. I wouldn't recommend paying for any of them. Literally every man on the paid sites is on the free ones and they're often more active there, because there are more people on them, as a whole.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 07:58 PM
6

That must be really hard, especially as you're beginning to really want to settle down. I'm sure it feels like a major setback, but you do have time find a good man. You don't have to settle for someone with health problems. You might consider whether or not you're open to men with kids. I'd recommend you read up on nun-mode and consider taking the next six months or so to improve yourself, as opposed to trying to attract men. When you do get back out there, you'll be that much more appealing to…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 03:16 PM
25

The point is that they don't have to live a "happy single life." Do you think women just retreat to their parents' attic and knit for the rest of their lives, the day after their 30th birthdays? No. They have hobbies, careers, friends, and family. Oftentimes, those things will lead them to good men, even if they're a little older or have a little more baggage or a little less hair. Many women meet good men after 30. They're just not 25 themselves and don't look like Chris Hemsworth. Your current…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 03:05 PM
23

You get a better, more positive attitude and work with what you've been given. Good men don't want to date someone who's overly negative and down on herself because she's getting older.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:59 PM
17

Thanks. I agree, as I clearly stated in my comment. It's also not the end of everything at 25. I'm sorry you feel like you hit The Wall so early, but your experience is not universal, nor is it generally accepted wisdom.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:57 PM
5

I second this. Dating apps are ubiquitous and the number one way couples meet. They also help vet for things like masculinity, which OP has already seen. I'd certainly rather realize a man was too feminine on an app than a date. OP, OLD has a bad rap, but if done correctly, you absolutely can find a good guy. Many of the women here have met their husbands online.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:17 PM
41

Stay off the men's RP boards, if that's where you're getting this. 25? Seriously? The Wall doesn't hit at a set age. It's just the idea that there's an age where a woman isn't getting more valuable in the dating market. When it occurs can vary based on everything from a woman's physical attributes to her region. Personally, I live in a LCOL state in the middle of the US. The physical standards are lower, but The Wall hits early here, because everyone marries so young. If I lived in New York, I'd…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:11 PM
1

The literal point of this post was that both the man's and the woman's fertility matters.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/22 04:34 PM
33

If you think it's disrespectful to him to sit down and talk about this, that's the source of your problem. You don't have to be a doormat to have a traditional relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/22 06:03 PM
3

I couldn't have been with someone I didn't perceive as intelligent overall and more intelligent in some ways. I have a master's degree in library studies and my husband has a bachelor's in hydrology. We're different kinds of smart. I know a lot of random bits of information and can talk your ear off about books. He knows a lot of politics and finance and science. I have higher emotional intelligence and he's a lot more street smart. I can create complex organization systems and he can fix a lawn…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:32 AM
2

My wedding bouquet was wooden and looked like the most brilliant real flowers. I still have it. You might look into a nice wooden bouquet that you can keep for a long time.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:27 AM
1

Haha. Yes.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 01:02 PM
11

My husband gets up with me and helps feed our twins before he goes to work. He frequently stops by throughout the day to check on everyone and just see them and give them a quick cuddle. He also cares for the dogs, so I don't have to, when I'm trying to wrangle Baby A and Baby B, who just learned to move in opposite directions. At lunch, he helps change and feed babies. After work, he often goes by the store for a quick item or the library for my reserves, so I don't have to get the girls out in…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:50 AM
9

I was married at 19 and divorced at 23. My next relationship was with my husband, who I met at 27. I had a lot of trauma from my young marriage. I slept with a loaded gun in a gun sock in my bed for years. I never got physical with anyone until I met my husband. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to get married again and I think that impacted my nexting a lot of guys. Now that I'm married, I think my horrible relationship experience helped me. My husband drives me batty sometimes. If I were younger …
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/22 11:08 PM
6

You're borrowing trouble. The scenarios you fear truly are outliers. I say that as someone who had an extremely difficult time getting pregnant and giving birth. It's not the norm at your age and if you haven't been told, by a medical doctor, that this is a concern, I'd try to let it go. There are, of course, perks to getting married and having children young. There are also downsides and the same is true for having them in your 30s. I have so much more patience as a 34-year-old mom of twins. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/22 04:14 PM
2

The men don't comment on Red Pill Wives, either.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/22 04:09 PM
6

You might consider taking on a big project. Maybe repaint a room in the house or clean all of the rugs. I know that doesn't always sound fun, but it'll break things up.
/r/RedPillWives18/02/22 05:18 PM
1

I think your level of separation is a good idea, especially with a hard limit on how long to wait until engagement. Of course, you have to do some wife things, because that's part of a relationship, showing him what he'll get. I just think it's difficult for women, especially those wanting a ring, to set boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/22 05:11 PM
4

Have you considered a part-time job? It could help break up the monotony. I quit my job four months ago and I'm loving being home, but if a part-time position opens, I'll likely go for it to have something outside my home going for me. If not, I plan to start an Etsy store and get my husband to take the girls a couple of nights a week so I can work on it.
/r/RedPillWives18/02/22 03:35 PM
3

I don't necessarily think sex before marriage is the problem, in and of itself, just that it plays into playing wife. If it's coupled with all of the other perks of marriage, it adds up. Living together isn't one I'd personally encourage before engagement, because it comes with so many of those perks. I've seen a lot of women waste a lot of years on men who don't see a point to tying the knot, when they already have everything marriage would bring them. I definitely think having these conversati…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/22 03:30 PM
6

My husband and I were 27 and 30 when we met. On our second date, we talked about our friends and who was married and single and who had kids. On that date, we both shared our timeline, entirely hypothetically, since we'd just met. We agreed that engagement after about a year and a half and marriage after two years, with a short engagement was a good model. Neither of us saw any point in living together before marriage. If we were single, why not enjoy it until we made a real commitment? That's e…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/22 03:10 PM
14

I would recommend Mrs. Midwest on YouTube. I would also recommend you avoid the men's TRP spaces. They're not intended for you and are likely to be unhelpful and upsetting.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 08:36 PM
–

My husband and I deleted social media five years ago. Now we don't have these problems. We have a family-only Instagram now, so people can see our girls, but we don't follow people or interact with anyone. I highly recommend deleting social media. It rarely enriches lives more than it complicates them.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 07:51 PM
2

I understand that the relationship ended for reasons you would reconsider, but try to remember that this man isn't perfect either. You don't know if he would have been faithful to you, if he's developed annoying and inconsiderate habits, if he's become a different person. You seem to be creating a romance hero out of him in your mind and that's unlikely to be accurate.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/22 02:43 PM
18

I think it really depends on what OP wants to do in the medical field. I have had several female doctors who only work one day a week, in dermatology, urology, even a general practitioner. Your points are still valid if she wants to be a surgeon or an OBGYN, of course.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 02:40 PM
4

This seems like a solid plan. Being a veteran is a huge boon when looking for a job. You might consider how you feel about being a military spouse, since you'd come in contact with a lot of military men.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 02:37 PM
3

You've given the impression that he agreed to your terms, being engaged before marriage. If that's the case, then I think it's totally fair to feel taken aback that he'd bait and switch you like this and, by extension, feel like he might do it again. If that's not the case, then you should really reflect on how strongly you feel about not living together first. Do you genuinely think he'll put off marriage? If so, then don't do it, of course. There just... aren't guarantees in love and you both …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 02:02 AM
54

You know what irritates me about the discussion surrounding the dating market? There's this implication that dating suddenly sucks. It doesn't. Dating has always sucked, for literally everyone. Entire television shows have been built around this premise since the advent of TV. Laverne and Shirley hated dating. The Golden Girls hated dating. Carrie Bradshaw hated dating. The entire casts of Friends and How I Met Your Mother hated dating. Dating has never been fun for anyone seeking a long-term re…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 09:26 PM
6

I wholeheartedly agree with u/glocke71 and I'm surprised by the number of women telling you to move in and wait patiently as the years tick by. You were perfectly clear on your boundaries, that you wouldn't live together before engagement and you've given the impression that he said he was okay with that. If anything, his attempt to bait and switch you now should have you feeling cautious about him doing so after you move in, which is your biggest fear (reasonably so, in my opinion). This is a d…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 05:16 PM
5

Well, if I were dating a guy for just a couple of months and he up and disappeared due to an anxiety attack, I'd be having second thoughts, too. That's a pretty big anxiety problem and I'm not sure I'd want to take that on, so early in a relationship. If I didn’t actually know about that and he didn't even call on Valentines Day, a holiday I also find stupid, I'd assume he wasn't that into me and polish up the dating profile. If you want him to trust that you'll return, then return when you say …
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 05:02 PM
2

I have 8 month old twins and they are waaaaay easier than everyone said they would be... but I still can't throw them in the backyard when they're being too loud.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 04:54 PM
14

I commend your decision to stay, when it seems like you can do so civilly and with a happy home for your children. I was a child of divorce, but I also worked with teens for years and we vastly under sell the damage divorce does to families. I say that as a woman who married at 19 and divorced at 23, with no children. Divorce is tragic and if you can find a way to work things out, I do think it's worth it, assuming no one is in danger. If you're finding yourself fantasizing about an old lover, I…
/r/RedPillWives13/02/22 03:22 PM
1

OP, relationship-minded men don't ask to cuddle after two dates. That's just malarkey. I went on 21 first dates, with my husband being number 21, all of them men I met on dating apps. NOT ONE asked me to come over and cuddle.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/22 01:59 PM
2

It was never an issue for my husband and I, either. He made nearly six figures, before he left oil and started for $11 an hour with the city. I knew he'd work his way up, as did he. It was literally never a problem.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 01:44 AM
2

https://www.etsy.com/listing/713440654/modern-cross-stitch-pattern-flowers?click_key=7eb30f8b44c44073dc0c08a689f955c5ae033e23%3A713440654&click_sum=ffc4b459&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cross+stitch+flower+patter&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1&pro=1&sts=1 I started this one from scratch, instead of using a kit. It's been really fun and the same shop has flowers with monograms in them, for my girls.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 09:59 PM
2

I've been doing cross stitch. I want to make one for each of my girls for their birthday. It's fun and cheap and doesn't take a ton of concentration. I can even do it while listening to a book. I may work my way up to embroidery. Crochet is also a fun and affordable hobby to start. YouTube will teach you the basics of both.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 07:10 PM
5

There's also a point where OP has to not only decide if she wants to be with a person who is depressed and won't get help, but whose depression manifests in this way.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 04:45 PM
1

If that's the case, a lot of people do this, but if you're not on board, that's perfectly understandable. It does seem strange that he's just now bringing this up.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 03:37 PM
31

I don't think this is a realistic plan and it is alarming that he wants to dictate how your marriage will look. You're right to be concerned at this point. If you want a future with this man, you two should attend marriage counseling and come up with something that works for both of you. Justifying your every expense likely won't be it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 06:54 PM
2

I didn't jump in with Dave Ramsey, but I did do his envelope lesson for a little while and it really helped me see where my money went. I would also suggest consolidating and paying off any and all debt you can. If you have student loans, make sure you have a plan to pay them off.
/r/RedPillWives09/02/22 06:02 PM
12

This seems like common sense to me. I have guy friends, but none of them are interested in me sexually and we usually hang out with my husband and I, both. I wouldn't be comfortable being friends with a man who harbored those feelings for me. Even single, if I didn't return them, I'd have tried to let the friendship run its course. My husband would do the same, if a woman had feelings for him.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 02:15 PM
8

Porn is such a heated topic, even here, but my personal advice is to get out now. Porn addiction is no less damaging than any other kind. Would you commit to this guy if he was an alcoholic? It's been four months and you seem a little lukewarm already. Porn addiction is not no big deal. It will impact your life in so many ways. Don't sign up for this with a guy you barely know, who doesn't seem to really be of interest to you anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 03:57 AM
4

Mean Girls exist in all stages of life and it always hurts. Take solace in the fact that women who treat people like this are not going to be good influences in your life. They're not going to make you a better wife, mother, friend, Christian if that's your thing, or worker. I went through a friendship breakup quite similar to this about five years ago and I'm so glad it happened when it did. I don't need those catty, hateful women in my life or around my daughters.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 12:01 AM
6

They exist and they're in all kinds of places, like all kinds of men, from church to college classes to the grocery store to online dating. You just need to vet well, be the kind of woman they seek, and make yourself approachable.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 11:58 PM
2

I think this is why everyone is suggesting caution. It's easy for you to take the red pill too far, but even if you don’t, it's easy for her to feel like you don't respect her anymore or like you're playing games, if she sees the wrong content.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 02:24 PM
7

The problem with everyone telling you he sucks is that you feel like you have to backtrack, but all of the insulting things you mentioned aside, he really should be working and staying in his own apartment. You definitely shouldn't be giving him any money, basically ever.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 03:59 AM
3

Having a baby won't ruin a strong marriage. I had two at the same time and our marriage has never been better. It takes some time to strengthen your marriage, though, so I think your plan to wait until 25 is probably for the best. You can always reevaluate in a couple of years if you really want.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 03:54 AM
5

I think communicating when you're overwhelmed is undervalued. My husband knows that "leave me alone, please" means exactly that. I need a breather. I'm going to say things I don't mean. Just give me a minute. Other great lines: "I don't want to talk about this right now." "I don't want to fight. Let's talk about something else." These don't work, of course, if you're typically a passive aggressive person.
/r/RedPillWives07/02/22 11:47 PM
73

There are many reasons the women here advise women not to date men who are familiar with the Red Pill. You've touched on most of them. Saying he's high value doesn't make him high value. Aside from his looks, literally everything you've mentioned contradicts his claim. Unfortunately, I’m at a time in my life where I don’t have time to waste. You're right. You don't have time to waste. It sounds like you've done a lot of work on yourself. You should find a man worthy of the effort while you have …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 08:37 PM
8

Forget the other guy and simply ask yourself if you want to be with your current partner. You broke up for a reason. It seems like you have a lot of history and drama that you're struggling to move past. It's okay if you can't. You're allowed to end the relationship without the life raft this other man provides. You're both allowed to start fresh, him no longer having to apologize for the past and you no longer having to try to forgive him. There are no soulmates. Life isn't a paranormal romance…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 04:35 PM
7

I met my husband online, as did a lot of women here, so I certainly have no issue with dating apps, but at 19, I hope you're also taking advantage of opportunities to meet in person. They dwindle as you get older, but right now, there should be plenty. As for safety, that's less about the app and more about your own precautions. Only meet men in public places. Make sure someone knows where you're going. Don't give out any identifying information. Take your time getting comfortable. He's a strang…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 04:15 PM
1

Thank you! I hope it helps some people.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 03:54 PM
2

I'm not blaming you for something you didn't do in high school. I just don't think you need to blame him for it, either. You don't need red flags to move on from a nice guy with whom you don't really click. I'd never be able to date a shy, submissive guy, myself. It's okay if it's not working for you, but that doesn't have to be because there's something wrong with him.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 12:03 AM
14

If you aren't planning to change your appearance for him on a regular basis, I wouldn't start now. Is there a compromise between the styles?
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 11:53 PM
27

Well, the first two "red flags" are completely beyond his control. Without further evidence, I think it's unfair to call either his history of being bullied or his single parent home/mother a true red flag. Maybe there's something you're not mentioning. Honestly, as the person who stood by and watched this guy get mercilessly bullied, I'd say you demonstrate more of a red flag in this high school story. It might be best to just let the past stay in the past. Teenagers are jerks and high school s…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:39 PM
11

I don't think asking for his number is inherently bad, but if you're uncomfortable with how forward it seems, you could also friend him on social media as a way to show interest first. If he doesn't take it from there, then I think it's reasonable to say he's not interested.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:27 PM
1

Oh, yes. Baby B will spend nap time trying to climb her crib like a monkey every now and then. It makes for quite the whiney day. Baby A basically sleeps on command. Lol. Everyone joked that our schedule would go out the window after a month, but we're just past eight and it's not going anywhere.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 04:58 AM
2

I keep joking about getting him the email address [email protected].
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 04:55 AM
6

Oh, the rest was about him, too. I almost died giving birth and spent four days in the ICU. My mother had died a month earlier. He was wearing those awful Crocs the whole time, but he was there and that's all that mattered.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 08:59 PM
20

It seems like he wants to change and that's most of the battle. It could help you to keep in mind that the things you mention are fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. Whether or not he offers his arm is pretty irrelevant when you're in an ICU ward or your heart is breaking after your mom dies. I'm not saying you don't get to care, but maybe when he does something that really gets to you, you can remind yourself of the wonderful things he does do, that other men don't. My husband might wea…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 06:51 PM
2

Our girls came home on the NICU schedule and we were given strict orders to stay on it. We did. As the girls got older and had to sleep less, we tweaked the schedule, but stayed on it. If we hadn't, I'm sure we'd be miserable.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 02:49 AM
2

So, when you have twins, they send you home with strict instructions to follow a schedule or everything will catch on fire. When my girls were born, they were put in the NICU, just because I was so sick. They were fine, but they had them on the NICU schedule and we never really stopped doing that. We followed it religiously and continued to do so as we tweaked it and spread out the feedings, making accommodations for longer wake times. My girls slept all the time when they were born, since they …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 02:46 AM
6

I just recently wrote it out in another comment. One important detail is that they stay down for their full naptime, whether they sleep or not. They sometimes wake up during, but usually just cry or fuss for a little bit and go back to sleep. I know some moms aren't comfortable with that, but I think my girls ultimately get a lot more sleep this way, than they would catnapping They rarely wake up anyway and get tired pretty much on schedule. 7:00-8:00 - My husband and I get up and feed the girls…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 09:23 PM
13

As a mom of twins, I swear by a strict schedule. I know exactly how much time I have to run errands before my girls will melt down. I know if we'll have the time to go to story time or visit great grandma. I can tell Gigi exactly when she can come over and expect happy girls. I'm able to have them clean and cheerful when my husband is home, because I know when I can get the chores done. A schedule is just everything for us.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 05:12 PM
2

I got my husband a grill tool set. He also likes to cook and it was reasonably cheap on Amazon, about $30.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 04:52 PM
1

Thank you! If I could choose for my girls, I'd love for them to get married in their mid-twenties. It just took me a little longer to find him.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 04:36 PM
7

I don't know that it's against the rules to post this with NSFW in the title. I feel like it would be fine, as long as you warn everyone of the content. We're all adults and can choose to read and discuss or not. Mods?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 08:36 PM
2

It's scary to think you might need help conceiving and consider how much that will change the process. I had a plan for telling my husband I was pregnant, after we got pregnant spontaneously through super fun sex. I was going to suggest we go hiking where he proposed and give him the positive test as a gift. That's never going to happen now... and that's okay, because that's just one parenting story of a thousand and I get to tell the other 999. It's expensive and a lot to go through physically,…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 03:33 AM
2

That might be the case, but in our situation, nothing was going to improve it to the point that we'd have had more options. The urologist actually used the word "miracle," when asked if my husband could get me pregnant. Here's an article that might be relevant, though: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/less-processed-meat-more-fish-and-exercise-may-boost-sperm-count-quality/
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 02:46 AM
2

Everyone seems to think as long as the woman is the younger one then nothing is wrong. I had to decide if I was ready to be a mom before I turned 27. I'm happy with our choice but back then it was so much pressure having that clock ticking. This misconception is so tragic for so many couples. I'm glad you and your husband were on the fence in the first place and came to a conclusion that worked for you, because that would have been tough. As it was, I wouldn't have minded waiting a couple more y…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 08:58 PM
1

I got a new doctor after that, but it's infuriating that a family doctor could be so ignorant and sexist about fertility issues. My husband ended up going to a urologist in a different network after trying to get two different doctors to test him. It was tough to get those results, but it would have been much worse several months and several thousand dollars later. I'm not sure if our fertility clinic would have advised that before testing me or not. They were very much about treating the woman,…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 08:49 PM
5

I'm not sure if I'll ever fully recover from the last two years. My girls didn't enter the world any more easily than they did my womb. It killed our sex life as well. I would cry after, because I knew it couldn't get us pregnant. It was awful. Now we have sex 3-4 times a week, even with two babies. I'm glad you started early and got your son!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:56 PM
2

Thank you! I can't imagine how frustrating unexplained infertility must be. At least we had answers and a course of action. I hope it all works out for you soon!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:54 PM
3

I think in this case, it was more ignorance than maliciousness.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 01:15 PM
31

My take is that you've only been together for a year. Sure, relationships move faster when you're older and more established, but a year isn't that long, especially when children are involved. He talks about the future and it includes your kids. That's a great sign. Your choices aren't between waiting in silence and asking him when he's going to propose, though. You could open a discussion about where he sees things going and his timeline. See where that leads and, if the opportunity is right, I…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 04:56 AM
3

It's wonderful that they were able to resolve their issues! We definitely want more kids so that's encouraging to hear.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:13 AM
3

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:13 AM
5

I went through a time in my twenties where I wasn't sure if I wanted kids. My mother had a lot of mental problems and I was afraid I wouldn't be a good mother. I'd miscarried at 21 and my best friend's infant daughter died a few months later, of bacterial meningitis. I occasionally joked with my husband about not having kids at all and traveling the world and buying things we liked. It wasn't until our diagnosis that I realized I would never be happy without them. I'm glad you're going to get an…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:03 AM
56

I honestly think your problem is that you're wanting to marry a little too young. Yes, you should date with intent and only pursue a relationship with godly men who would make good husbands and fathers, but at 18/19, your marriage goal, you're treated like a teenager, because you are a teenager. This is probably less likely the age when you should marry and more likely the age when you should start dating with purpose, if young marriage is what you want. If you're going to college, join the Chri…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 05:22 PM
2

It's really great that you're happy in your life and open to many different futures. Truly. You say that men are interested in you, though, and that's not necessarily the goal. High value men will show interest in all kinds of women. That doesn't mean they'll marry them and the wall refers to the time when it becomes difficult to gain commitment, not dates.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 05:19 AM
68

What's your reason for waiting? If it's faith-based, you should be upfront about it and seek a man who appreciates it. Being "unequally yoked" doesn't get a lot of mention anymore, but if you're devout enough to save yourself for marriage, you should find someone who feels the same way
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/22 04:59 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 09:43 PM
8

It's scary to leave a relationship in your early thirties and I'm guessing that's why you're hesitant to let this one go, even though you don't seem especially happy. Time will pass no matter what you do. Is this a man you want to be with for the rest of your life? Will he cheer you on when you get that promotion, comfort you at your parents' funeral, encourage you when you decided to better yourself? It doesn't really sound like you think so and forever is a long time.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:42 PM
35

Two years ago, the day before Valentine's Day, my husband came home to tell me that we couldn't have children naturally. IVF was our only hope, which had literally been a fear of mine since I was 15 and learned what it entailed. This year, I'm so excited to celebrate Valentine's Day with my baby girls!!!!!!!!! We're going to stay home and play all day and maybe take them to the park. My husband and I are going to eat whatever we want and play video and board games while they sleep (which is a lo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:38 PM
2

I think the rudeness is the biggest offense. If she feels unheard, that's understandable, but say thank you and wait to see if this is a pattern of behavior. What did he get her for Christmas? What other attributes does he have? If he's not impressing her in other ways, sure, move on, but still say thank you for the gift before breaking up for the general lack of compatibility.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:32 PM
2

It's very strange that gift giving would be such a dealbreaker for someone. Perhaps they're just incredibly self-absorbed and don't realize that people have an entire range of feelings about birthdays and gifts. I know people who consider it just another day and others who take off work every year to celebrate (like me). I'd never assume another person has the same feelings I do.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:30 PM
2

Me too! It's so nice to have him working so close by.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:20 PM
2

She also could have just said thank you, instead of being an ungrateful shrew. There's a lot of "could have" going on in this story. Not everyone loves flowers, either. I'd find that to be a frivolous and wasteful gift, but I've still said thank you any time I've gotten them. He didn't buy chocolates for a diabetic. He bought cookies for a woman he's known for six months, thinking she'd appreciate the gesture on her birthday, a perfectly reasonable assumption when she said she didn't want anythi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:18 PM
3

My husband is notorious for waiting until the last minute, but we live in the suburbs, so it's not really an issue. He can get something online in a couple of days or he can just drive to Sam's/Target. It used to bother me more that he didn't do these things sooner, but he's never not been able to get the thing he wanted, so I suppose it doesn't really matter. I agree that how people think of gifts and birthdays, in general, is a factor. Six months really might be too soon to know how the other …
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 05:34 AM
1

I've clearly said multiple times that my husband buys me gifts. They just aren't surprises.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 04:28 AM
3

I am comforted to know that the rest of Reddit calls them femcels. I don't think the majority of women think to this extreme.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 04:24 AM
1

What's the required prep for a birthday gift? How early should he buy it? One week? One month? What if he doesn't know her birthday when they've only been together for six months? How soon should he ask? Plenty of people think birthdays are for children or just don't care about them at all. This seems like such an arbitrary complaint, when he did ask. Why does this even matter? Does it show he cares more based on how early he asks if he can get ahold of something she'd like? Any reasonable reque…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 04:21 AM
2

Being health conscious is not a dietary restriction. It's a personal decision that many people set aside for a special occasion like a birthday.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 03:51 AM
2

He did a great job this year... and I'd have loved him either way.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 03:25 AM
18

My husband and I almost always stay in, because we don't want to take our twins most places and it's cheaper. We stream movies or check them out at the library. We play board games or video games. We start a fire and talk. Every other week, we have friends over for table top gaming and we love hosting.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 03:24 AM
2

That's a fun idea! I did that with a couple of stocking stuffers. I was going to send one back and then decided to let him decide or keep both. Also, I feel bad for not including the sound bar and the massage gift card my husband got me for Christmas.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 03:21 AM
5

Agreed. What my husband excels at definitely outweighs what he doesn't. I hope he feels the same way about me.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 02:09 AM
8

I don't think casual dating means you're a plate, but it doesn't seem like he's serious about you. You need to decide if that's okay with you, even if you're exclusive. Exclusivity doesn't necessarily mean someone wants a long-term relationship. It sounds like he stated pretty clearly on his profile that he's just having fun.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 11:55 PM
10

I even think it's fair, depending on the relationship, to wonder if they're "there" yet. My husband didn't buy me a birthday present when we'd been together for three months. He took me out and we did fun things together, but he told me point blank he had no idea what to get me. I don't think that's a stretch at six months. This guy tried to be open and honest, as you said, and she broke up with him for it. That's insane.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 11:27 PM
2

She needs friends to tell her that and I hope she sees that most of Reddit thinks so. I don't even know how you tell the next guy about that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 11:24 PM
2

Yes, I think it's reasonable to assume someone lets go on their birthday, especially if you haven't been together for one of them.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 11:22 PM
8

I feel this so much. My husband bought me those individually wrapped Starbursts, as a stocking stuffer, because I love candy. I'm weird about texture, though, and he knows it. More often than not, if I won't eat something, it's because of the texture. My husband frequently jokes about it and sometimes it even very low-key annoys him, particularly since it's apparent our daughters are going to be the same way. I know I've told him I don't like those miniature Starbursts, because they have a gritt…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 09:44 PM
3

Some of the responses that agree the gift was bad had me trying to remember what my husband got me as a gift, after a similar length of time. We'd have been together for six months at Christmas. He got me a gift card to my favorite candy store and some candy he knew I liked. I remember being mildly disappointed that it wasn't more sentimental, but I didn't say anything and I'm glad. It was a sweet gesture, end of story.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 09:11 PM
21

I don't follow it, myself, because it's infuriating that these women have such ridiculous standards and judge men for the same. I hate that they're giving such awful advice and that other women are wasting their best years following it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 08:58 PM
31

My girls are seven months old. 7:00-8:00 - My husband and I get up and feed the girls, solids and then a bottle. He leaves for work, while the girls finish their bottles. 8:00-10:00 - The girls play in their bouncer and play station until they get fussy and bored and I lay them on a mat surrounded by toys. If they're naked, because they keep spitting up, I place a space heater nearby. I do chores, like make the bed and load the dishwasher and run the laundry. I fold their laundry and put it away…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 08:55 PM
8

See. This is the perfect example of good intentions gone wrong, but still being good intentions. OP's boyfriend didn't give a nice bottle of whiskey to a recovering alcoholic and neither did your husband. It's so sweet that you saw his intent and are trying to keep that orchid alive. I do have a bunch of plants and that orchid would totally be dead by now. 😂
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 08:33 PM
18

Thinking that gifts define a relationship is really shallow and assuming the worst. This sums the problem up nicely. A bad gift, given with good intentions, still deserves a thank you. These are literally kindergarten rules.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 08:14 PM
13

Breaking up with someone because your priorities don't align is fine. Throwing a tantrum and ghosting someone you've been with for six months because they sent you a cookie bouquet is petty and hateful. I think that's especially true in this scenario, because OP told him she didn't want anything. In that case, sending a one-size-fits-all gift is still a kind gesture, in my opinion. Six months might be enough time to know what a thoughtful gift would be if the relationship is at the right point a…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 08:12 PM
6

My husband and I do this, too! I send him links throughout the year of things I like, so if he's at a loss, he has inspiration. I was so surprised this year when I'd mentioned that necklace a couple of times and he actually got it for me. He's so amazing in so many ways. He doesn't have to check every box, even if I do love giving presents. Yes, I actually saw that post screenshot on the front page of Reddit, on some other subreddit. It gives me hope that the comments were not in OP's favor.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 07:47 PM
8

I don't know if I agree that it was so terrible, just misguided. He got her cookies for her birthday. Even the crunchiest splurge on their birthday and this is the first one he's known her. My husband made an interesting point that it reads like OP is trying to force her eating habits on him, something I hadn't noticed. It sounds like basic incompatibility, considering the commenters suggested that's what her boyfriend was doing so disrespectfully (of course without acknowledging OP's offense). …
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 07:31 PM
17

I love it when my husband stops by the general store and gets me a candy bar or bag of chips as a surprise. It's just sweet to know he thought of me, but he doesn't do it very often. For holidays and birthdays, I usually tell him how much I'm spending on him, so he can get something comparable.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 07:03 PM
2

Everything under this roof is ours.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/22 05:50 PM
1

My husband was hilarious on our first date and could keep up with my nervous chatter. He wasn't overly sensitive when I joked around and was just the right amount of self-deprecating. He talked about politics and religion and his family. He was clearly very intelligent. He told lively stories and asked questions and listened to my answers. He wasn't condescending about my career. He paid for lunch, which was only fair since I repeatedly suggested coffee, but he wanted sushi. He tried to open my …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 04:41 PM
1

I'm so glad it helped. I still can't stand anyone's kids but my own and I seriously doubt that we'll change. I like teenagers. Kids under 10, not so much.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 06:01 PM
28

Is it hard or does he feel it's a husband or at least fiancé responsibility at this point? Someone mentioned that he's 20. If you want someone who pays all the time, you need someone with a career and decent income.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 02:43 PM
3

I wasn't really sure if I wanted kids for a time in my twenties. I remember talking to a coworker just before I got engaged, about how I wasn't sure if I liked kids. It worried me that I might not actually want them, that I just thought I did, because that's what you're supposed to want. She pointed out that it was Summer Reading and, as a librarian, that was probably a terrible time to make that call, but also told me that she doesn't like other people's kids either, but she likes hers. That wa…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/22 09:48 PM
8

If he's recently gotten out of a relationship, due to some kind of betrayal, it's likely he just needs time. It's actually really awesome of him to be upfront about that. Perhaps let him set the pace and take things as slowly as he needs, if you're determined to give it a go.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 09:14 PM
22

he is hesitant due to being hurt fairly recently by a multi-year relationship You can't change his mind about this and it's likely that he can't either. He's being honest with you. Listen to him.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 09:10 PM
14

> So knowing that, he did tell me that he isn’t ready for a relationship but wants to get to know me before getting into a relationship. I’m wondering if the “just not with you” was silent in that sentence. Meaning I’m just not ready for a relationship with you. He's telling you exactly where he is and how he feels. Listen to him. This isn't about you. It's about him and what he wants and needs, which he's communicating quite clearly. If you want something serious, you should probably look elsew…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 08:09 PM
36

It's generally recommended to have a username just for these spaces. Reddit isn't super open-minded or accepting of traditional/conservative values. I've seen numerous stories of women being banned from other subreddits for this very reason. I literally only use this username for RP forums.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 05:08 PM
6

Perhaps it would help your self-esteem to take up an interest entirely your own. If you're especially knowledgeable in history or art or literature, it might make you feel better to be able to speak on these subjects with authority, assuming they come up organically and not obnoxiously. I agree that I'd rather have a husband who's smarter than me than one who's dumber. I always required someone intellectually curious, but I do sometimes have the same problem. It helps to know that I know about p…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 02:41 PM
6

This is really individual. There is no hard and fast rule.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/21 04:58 AM
35

Don't play games. If you like him, let him know. If he doesn't return your affections or doesnt want a relationship, that's fine and you can move on. There's a difference between being clingy and being candid.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 07:57 PM
-1

When they're boasting about it on the internet, which is the primary reason to use the term, it's for status. You can get sex from one or two women. There is absolutely an ego boost from the bragging rights involved in having sex with multiple women.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 06:11 PM
21

He deserved harsh. It's one thing to not want commitment and be honest about that. It's another to enjoy watching you compete with another woman. I can see why you might still want a relationship with the former, but not the latter.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 02:34 PM
13

It's a woman a guy sleeps with for status (edit: and sex... obviously), as one of many, just a number. It's referencing the performance act of spinning plates. They keep as many going as they can.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/21 02:29 PM
31

It's great that you want to get healthy and physically attractive, but plenty of imperfect looking people are in happy relationships. Start dating.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 09:45 PM
4

To answer your original question, I met my husband online and he put his arm around me on date three. He could tell I wasn't comfortable with more, because he was a stranger, so he kissed me on date six. It got pretty heated, but that's the first time I invited him up to my place. If this guy tried to have sex on the first date, he likely just wants to get laid.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 05:15 PM
12

If you're moving soon, what's the point? He's absolutely trying to get laid. I'm not saying he's only trying to get laid, but if he's pushing for you to go to his after trying to initiate sex, that's his goal. Even if it wasn't, if you get attached easily, what's the point of pursuing this when you're about to move?
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 02:09 PM
2

They're all swipe apps, including OKC.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 02:30 AM
3

I met my husband on Plenty of Fish, but he'd messaged me several months earlier on OKCupid and I genuinely don't remember seeing it. I apparently didn't respond, so my guess would be that I was talking to someone else at the time. It was some time ago now, but I'd say the one bit of advice I have that's still relevant would be not to use paid sites. Literally every man on the paid sites was also on the free ones. Also, with the ones that have questions you can answer, like OKCupid, only answer t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/21 08:47 PM
32

Despite what you read here, a lot of guys don't want to know your number and won't ask. If he does ask, I think your brief description is fine. Leave out any and all sexual details.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/21 08:18 PM
6

Even the ultra successful silver foxes get old. Their penises stop working and their prostates give them trouble and their hearts fail. No one will be young forever.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/21 04:06 PM
28

Setting boundaries and adhering to them sets a precedent that you'll do what you have to do for your family and you won't cave to his sister's tantrums. So does caving to his sister's tantrums. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, especially in these times when hospitals are overflowing in some areas. Regardless, it is your decision what risks you're willing to take, not hers. In the meantime, perhaps plan some fun and safe things you two can do, like baking cookies or watching a favor…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/21 03:58 PM
12

I said I love you to my husband first. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help myself. He's not really one for vocal affection. Just the other night, we were joking about how he wouldn't have said it yet, if I hadn't. I honestly think he'd have waited several more months, not because he didn't feel it, but because he doesn't talk about his feelings. Now, after six years and twin babies, he says it to all of us all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 11:49 PM
14

A woman has a lot more to offer than looks and youth, much of which won't be matched by a younger, hotter counterpart. A woman with a good work ethic and pleasant demeanor who shares a history with a man would be difficult to replace. A good mother is absolutely going to be the best mother to her own children. Someone with shared values and goals, who's grown alongside him over the years, is far preferable than a good lay for many, many men.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 10:36 PM
44

Men are not evil caricatures, but human beings with varying morals and values. The solution to your "dilemma" is finding one who's family oriented, loyal, and actually a decent person.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 10:12 PM
18

"I was shocked and after sex i asked him why he didn’t stop immediately. I honestly don’t remember what he said apart from this one thing, but he did say that it was “only like three more strokes”. It was more like 8 slow strokes. This completely broke my heart. I’ve been feeling so sad and violated. He has never ever done anything like this again. Not even close. He’s always been very quick to stop and always very attentive of me during sex." It's quite clear from this paragraph that he deliber…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 08:31 PM
5

You've dated for nine months. It's okay if the relationship has run its course. It sounds like you're realizing why opposites attract and maybe this isn't the guy for you. I can be a bit introverted and anxious, especially with new people. My husband is the most extroverted person I know. I'm strictly a suburbs girl, a former librarian, and my husband is a cattle rancher and a former oil man. He has a degree in hydrology and I have degrees in education and library studies. You have a lot more to…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 02:25 PM
2

I said "I love you" first, myself. I just blurted it out. My husband isn't exactly a "words of affirmation" guy, but he did say it back. You may just have to put yourself out there and see what happens.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 09:58 PM
8

Quite frankly, Manic Pixie Dream Girl is a sexist term when people use it as a pejorative. Every male character in The New Girl is just as quirky and hyperbolic as Jess and no one cares, because they have penises. Jess is goofy and dorky and silly and it means women are somehow less? No. I'm far from a newbie and I think I'd have left and never come back when I was, had I seen that term.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 08:58 PM
15

The only way you're going to know if you're on the same page is to ask him. "Where do you see this going?" It might not go the way you want, but if he doesn't share your feelings, it's best to know now.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 08:30 PM
51

Women only hate the Manic Pixie Dream Girl because modern feminism (what wave are we on now?) tells them they need to be serious and bitter and deep to be respected. I have a hand-crocheted Christmas tree hat that stands a foot tall, complete with ornaments and I wear that thing in public all month. My husband loves that I don't mind being ridiculous and awkward and dorky and I love that he's impossible to embarrass. There's nothing wrong with having fun in life. For what it's worth, I skip over…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 08:27 PM
1

Oh, I'm not complaining at all. They're wonderful and we have a new HE washer and dryer, so you only put detergent in it like once a week. As for the house, that includes the converted garage, which we use as a bonus room/den/workout space/craft area. The general living space is about 1800 and it's really just perfect for us.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 02:18 PM
15

"Is this an awful idea?" You're asking for an opinion, so I'll be blunt and say yes. If you don't consider this a symbol of unity, this relationship is likely to progress as those of most 17-year-olds and you'll break up down the road, which is entirely normal and healthy. Instead of having an ex-boyfriend, though, you'll have an ex-husband. If you're in this space, you likely want a somewhat traditional man and I can tell you from experience that being a young divorcee complicates your dating l…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 11:43 PM
13

This seems really unfair of him, when he's known you wanted to wait from the start. If you were torn, because you want to have sex and you're worried about compatibility, I'd have a different answer, but it doesn't seem that you've changed your religious views on the subject and he's pressuring you for his own satisfaction and.... well, that's pretty disrespectful of him. I know we're in a pandemic, but it would probably be worth it for you two to schedule some kind of sit down with your pastor,…
/r/RedPillWives18/12/21 10:03 PM
3

Well, obviously it only matters if you guys are both on board, but it sounds like you aren't. I, personally, agree that if you're working full time, splitting the bills, then you should be splitting the housework evenly. I strongly suggest you come to an agreement you're both comfortable with, before you get married and it creates resentment. When you can stay home, I definitely think the housework will shift more toward you, but as was recently discussed, 100% is probably unrealistic, even then…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 09:56 PM
3

If you're living in an apartment, with no outdoor space, it makes total sense that you're over there thinking you must be a slovenly mess compared with some women. I'm sure that's not the case and you just have less to clean, even with children. I live in a 2300 square foot home on over an acre, though. I'm home all day with my six month old twins and I spend a good chunk of that cleaning. Every morning, I make the bed and either load any dishes into the dishwasher or unload the dishwasher or bo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 08:21 PM
5

There's a lot of push here to never say no to sex and I get that. You can often get in the mood if you give yourself the opportunity. If you're just not feeling it though, I think it's okay to decline. The problem arises when it's a regular thing, but as someone who actually enjoys giving oral sex, I'm not going to force myself to do it, especially just because I'm on my period. My periods don't last more than a few days and he can wait that long for more enthusiasm. My husband probably wouldn't…
/r/RedPillWives18/12/21 06:32 PM
2

I have a lot of friends who don't have or want kids for all kinds of reasons. I'd much rather see people do what's right for their families than what they feel is expected of them.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 02:59 PM
2

I see you were downvoted, but that's also a totally valid choice.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 02:47 PM
2

I actually couldn't breastfeed, myself, and I think that made things much easier. I had a reduction as a teenager and then spent four days in the ICU after giving birth, so literally nothing happened. The lactation nurse came down to ICU to ask if I wanted to breastfeed, but since I'd just had my third blood transfusion, I guess my body was a little too focused on creating the fluids I needed to survive. I didn't even have to wear a compression bra, because no milk came.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 02:46 PM
1

Thank you so much! They were worth all of it. I do have a blog that I know some of the people here follow from my time under different user names, if you're at all interested. Belleofthelibrary.com
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 02:41 PM
3

I definitely agree. I do think some women never plan on staying home, until they have children, though and I can see why that would make vetting for this difficult. I, myself, am lucky my husband was on board, because we had both planned for me to always work. When I had my girls, though, everything changed, perhaps because of how hard it was to get pregnant or the fact that my mother died while I was pregnant, or that I almost died giving birth. The idea of leaving my girls with someone else ev…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 02:40 PM
3

I mean yes, admittedly, but before I even knew we'd have to do IVF, it always kind of annoyed me how much parents complain. You chose this life. Not having kids is an option and I know many who've taken it. I assumed it must just be impossible and utterly exhausting, but if that's the case, it hasn't really kicked in yet and I'm six months into twin life. When I worked full time, it was harder, but I was still both grateful and entirely aware that it was what I chose. Everyone needs to vent some…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 08:44 PM
3

Ugh. That sounds awful. I stay home as well, but with six month old twins, my husband simply can't be free of the chores. I hurt my back last week and he had to stay home from work for three days, because I couldn't lift my girls. He totally stepped up and did everything he could and I still spent the first part of this week trying to catch up. There's just always so much to do between parenting and running a household. It's so awful when women think they can change a man. It's like watching a c…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 08:42 PM
2

My husband came home for lunch to a living room full of gifts and wrapping paper and declared that my staying home was absolutely the right call, because now we don't have to spend our Saturday wrapping Christmas presents. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's certainly worth it for us. It's nice to see a man who agrees.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 08:38 PM
3

A lot of these posts read to me as if the woman considers this ideal and feels as though she's failing to live up to it. Obviously you and I are baffled by why anyone would agree to this in the first place, but I can certainly see women from certain backgrounds doing so, as well as the young new readers of this sub taking the advice here to an extreme. I know some religious women who live like this and it sounds exhausting and awful.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 08:36 PM
5

Well, in general, I feel like SAHM's complain too much. I'd just like to see more women fall somewhere between toxic positivity and constantly griping about something that cost me $30k and almost my life to get. Staying home with my children is a privilege many wish they had.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 07:03 PM
4

I would love to have a housekeeper for those tasks one day. It's not doable now, but it is a goal.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 04:07 PM
5

Women tend to think that the only way to stand up for themselves is to be brash and rude, when in reality, a calm and rational discussion will work out a lot of problems, as will being polite but firm. On these posts, I've always advised a frank and open conversation, myself. My intent here was just to lay out the irrationality of agreeing to this arrangement in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 04:06 PM
3

"And now we have a clear division of labour where housework is about 65/35. Mostly because I work from home and he doesn't so I now get more done during the day." This is key. Men and women, both, need to sit down and hammer out how household duties will look. When I quit my job, my husband and I had this discussion several times, because I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I agree that some of the women here, especially young newbies, overcorrect for modern feminism and attribute fe…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 04:03 PM
5

Yes, we have a rather large house at 2300 square feet and a full acre. It takes two people sometimes.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 02:55 PM
7

I agree with everything you've said, but I think it emphasizes rhe importance of RPW's preventative approach, encouraging good vetting and settling down while the options are good. I do think there's a problem with the way marriage advice is given in this space, as the result of an overcorrection from other feminist spaces, which tend to always blame the man. There's absolutely value in accountability, but while I understand why there's a rule against insulting spouses here, sometimes the answer…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 02:52 PM
1

My husband and I actually both came home for lunch when I worked and he still does, now that I'm home. It gave us some additional time, but it still wasn't enough. I'm glad WFH helps bridge the gap. It wasn't really an option in my field.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:10 PM
3

Yes, I agree. Those were just stereotypically masculine examples. There are some couples who operate pretty strictly within their gender roles and I wanted to acknowledge that. My husband and I own an acre and he could honestly probably spend at least an hour a day working in the yard, if he wanted.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:08 PM
7

I had to send my babies to daycare for two months, before I could quit my job. They were three months old and I cried literally every day I handed them off. It didn't help that they were 5 weeks premature and just very small for their age. I'm so much happier at home, but for women who do work, it's just very important to realize the limitations.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:06 PM
17

Thank you for mentioning that you still only do 70%. I'm a SAHM with twins and I literally cannot do 100% of the housework. It's so much easier on my husband and I to have me home, than when I was working, but he still has to help with some things, because there aren't enough hours in the day.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:03 PM
4

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:01 PM
24

I've been in RPW spaces for a good ten years and while I think that some women might have vetted poorly, I do think others have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Not just recently, but over time, I have seen a number of posts like these from women who've agreed to such an arrangement during engagement or even beforehand. I think there's an idealism that stems from stories of what previous generations have done and is reinforced by picture perfect influencers, that they can be the career woma…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 06:30 AM
23

I've heard of couples going out and pretending to be strangers, so they can "meet" all over again. Personally, I'd make far too many stupid jokes and giggle like mad, but it might work for you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:33 AM
5

Well, from here, it looks like your setup is unsustainable, so it's no surprise that you're becoming overwhelmed. What is up with all of these full time working housewife posts lately? Of course you can't work full time and do "99.99%" of the housework and there's no reason you should. He is home all day, using dishes and making messes just like you. If he wants more time with you, the solution is obvious. It's entirely reasonable to sit down and work out another arrangement for the housework, e…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 05:21 PM
7

Television and movies and books are also escapism for anyone who considers them a hobby. People literally go hiking and camping to escape. That's kind of just what hobbies are.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 10:04 PM
4

In my early twenties, I had some guy friends who were super close to their family. They were brothers and lived at home (22 and 25) because it was cheaper and they wanted to be close to their mom and sisters. They did everything together, from going out to dinner and the movies to taking every vacation together to going grocery shopping as a group. It seemed nice at the time, since I wasn't close with my family, but today they're in their thirties and one of them still lives with his little sist…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 08:30 PM
2

Thank you! They were IVF babies and I keep trying to convince my husband to agree to transfer two frozen embryos again. They're wonderful.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 07:42 PM
19

I understand that this bothers you and I want to acknowledge your feelings, but at the same time, you're fabricating a problem. What you're doing works for you. There's no right or wrong way to be a happy couple. The way you phrase it, your boyfriend seems to be happy with this arrangement, which makes this a you problem and one that's all in your head. My husband cooked most of the time when we both worked. He likes to cook and I like to bake. We're a pretty traditional couple, otherwise, but t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 07:31 PM
1

I agree. It might be worth it to edit the post a bit if OP wants to have a productive discussion.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 07:22 PM
21

I understand video games being a yellow flag, but I agree with the other posters that it's a bit superficial to call it a red flag. I think it ranks with any other hobby that has a reputation for becoming an obsession, like with gearheads or musicians or hunters. Some men spend all of their time and money fixing up cars or buying new guitars or guns. That doesn't mean one project car or a few instruments or mounts are a red flag, however. If he can manage his time well, it doesn't much matter wh…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 07:09 PM
2

Thank you! Hopefully we can get a boy soon. He is surrounded by glitter. Haha.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 12:57 PM
8

You objectively know that he's a good guy and you want to have feelings for him, but you don't. You can't change that and continuing to try isn't fair to him, especially since you've known him for some time.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 05:57 AM
8

Three dates was always my limit. If it hadn't blossomed by then, it wasn't gonna happen. Your threshold may be different, but at this point you're risking leading him on and that's an ugly thing to do.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 05:39 AM
3

I am so very thankful to no longer be working full time and instead be at home every day with my girls.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 03:55 AM
37

Different people need different things. All that matters is that you know what will work for you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 03:54 AM
28

This really isn't your business and could cause all kinds of drama. Without more information, I'd be very mindful of how involved you want to get in your boyfriend's parents' marriage. If they do have an arrangement, that sounds like the most awkward conversation ever and if they don't, what if she'd prefer not to know? Without more details, I would personally avoid mentioning it to the parents. Perhaps you could, as one commenter suggested, bring it up to your boyfriend gently, by asking how th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:16 AM
2

Your arguments are getting weirdly aggressive and ridiculous, so I'm done.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:11 AM
1

When we were dating, we still didn't text much and we only saw each other every other week. We talked on the phone some and sent a few texts here or there, but I stand by my statement. Plenty of men only text for logistics and the occasional funny article and otherwise wait to connect in person. Most of the men on this sub will tell you that's how they interact. Disagree if you like, but clearly OP's boyfriend isn't into more frequent texting.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:02 AM
22

It's a simple fact that cleaning will go faster if he helps. The next time he complains, it's perfectly reasonable to politely ask if he can take something on the list, like sweeping or vacuuming. I'm curious why this arrangement was even made, if you're both working full time. I do the lion's share of the housework, because I stay home with our girls, but when I worked full time, it was absolutely an even split. Is his job substantially more taxing? If so, would you be able to hire a cleaning p…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 09:48 PM
7

Well, you're opening with an absolute non-issue, that he doesn't text. Most men don't text like women do. They text for logistics and to make plans. My husband doesn't even text me during the day, unless it's about dinner or what I asked him to pick up from Wal-Mart. He might send me a punny meme, but that's rare. Your other concerns are more valid. Some guys aren't great at gifts, but coupled with the lack of communication and always making you plan everything and then showing up 10-15 minutes …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 09:05 PM
4

I'm sorry everyone (not this commenter) is being so hateful when you've come here for help. It is worth considering the less caustic advice, that there will always be someone hotter, someone more successful, someone more charming. Twenty-six isn't old, but it's also not 19. If you want children and a nuclear family, you don't have 10 years. That doesn't mean this is the guy for you, but really consider how much these trivial points are going to matter on your 35th birthday. Would you rather be w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 08:43 PM
5

It's not about romance. It's about compatibility. If he's saying he'll do this if forced, then it's unlikely he'll do it at all. He's saying what he needs to say to keep you, because he does love you, but just as you're not going to willingly forgo marriage, he's not going to just propose and plan and pay for a wedding. You two are probably at a stalemate in your relationship and you have a lot more to lose by wasting time.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 08:13 PM
13

If it's just a piece of paper, it makes no difference if he has it... but it's not just a piece of paper, to him or you. Neither of you is wrong, but you're utterly incompatible if you have such a different vision of your future.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 07:12 PM
2

I definitely think some women aren't acknowledging all their husbands do, but I do think we're cultivating a society of man children. Jordan Peterson talks on this subject all the time, so I do think it's a societal problem, but I agree that allowing your husband to have his hobbies is perfectly reasonable. My husband plays video games as well and he'd never neglect me or our girls for pretend accolades. He's allowed to decompress, because as a SAHM, I get two naptimes a day and we've agreed tha…
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 05:59 PM
1

Honestly, I think counseling would be appropriate for problems like these so early on in a marriage. It's easy to say you signed up for this, that you didn't vet properly, but that doesn't resolve the problem. It sounds like you're both struggling to adapt to marriage and perhaps have different ideas of what it looks like and marriage counseling could help you get on the same page.
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 05:26 PM
2

Oh, I get it. I just find the constant martyrdom of moms and only moms exhausting. If your husband is like another child, that's your fault for vetting poorly.
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 05:22 PM
4

I don't understand why you thought these, admittedly repulsive, behaviors would change. He showed you exactly who he was and you married him anyway. Why do you expect him to immediately alter his behavior?
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 04:51 PM
3

Women have low standards, collectively, and it makes them feel better to assume that all men are like that. It goes both ways, as we frequently see here. It drives me batty reading all the comments about how exhausted moms are, because they became parents with men suffering from Peter Pan syndrome. Not all men are losers.
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 04:48 PM
20

I recommend the book Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. The title is especially jarring, but it's absolutely worth your time. It's advice from a woman in her early 40s, that she wishes someone had given her when she was in her twenties. She talks about the men she turned down, always assuming better ones would come along, only to realize her ideal didn't exist, as she reaches her mid-late thirties, still single, browsing social media to see that those men are…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 06:01 AM
6

Joan from Mona Lisa Smile is it for me. She values education and self-betterment, but she won't let feminism sway her from what's most important to her. Despite pressure to pursue law school for other women, she chooses to stay home and raise her family, because that's what she wants.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 04:02 PM
3

I've always decorated, even when I was single. When we married, my husband and I started investing in a few decorations every year, so it wouldn't hurt financially.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 05:45 PM
69

My husband and I went out to dinner with a boss he hated and he promised his boss was covering it. When it came time to pay the check, my husband paid. I wanted to comment, but didn't want to embarrass him. I trusted that he knew what he was doing. When we got to the car, I politely asked and he explained that his boss had given him cash beforehand.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 09:41 PM
19

At least part of RMV is keeping yourself well-maintained, at least in relation to the kind of man you want. My husband comes from a wealthy rodeo/cattle family and some of those rodeo wives must spend hours a day on their figure. My husband has made it clear that he doesn't want that from me, because he thinks it looks fake and he wouldn't want me wearing some of the outfits they wear in public, but he does like that I keep a healthy-ish weight and dress cute and apply natural looking makeup whe…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 09:18 PM
3

I disagree. Homeschooling rates are increasing. Women are leaving the workforce at a higher rate. Covid-19 has really caused a lot of people to rethink the status quo.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 09:01 PM
13

I, too, wish that someone had floated being a stay-at-home mother as a legitimate option. I've had a professional career for 10 years and spent the four or five prior to that getting my degree. After two rounds of Pandemic IVF, though, all I want is to be home with my twin girls. I literally cried telling my dad that I quit my job, because I'd felt so much pressure to be the strong working woman and I just didn't have it in me. My stepmom told me she was worried I'd be unfulfilled, but honestly,…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 08:57 PM
2

Yes, I cleaned the rug just Monday, before we set up our new sectional sofa. It looks so much nicer, almost new again. It's definitely an investment I'd recommend. It costs around $60 to rent one, once you factor in the cleaning solution.
/r/RedPillWives01/12/21 08:51 PM
1

Oh, I'm sure you can get something similar from any other source. We also just bought a stick vacuum on Black Friday and it's been so much more fun to clean.
/r/RedPillWives01/12/21 08:50 PM
4

My husband and I got an Ebay gift card from his brother, as a baby gift. I don't know if you've perused Ebay recently, but they have almost no baby items. We decided to splurge and buy a Green Machine, an industrial carpet cleaner, like the ones you can rent at Lowe's. It was a fantastic purchase. We can clean the rugs or sofa anytime we want.
/r/RedPillWives30/11/21 04:06 PM
3

Movies and Shows: Mona Lisa Smile, Love Finds You in Charm, basically anything from the Hallmark Channel, if that's your niche. New-ish shows like Army Wives or The Good Witch or Friday Night Lights. Older shows like Bewitched and I Love Lucy. The romance genre has a specific subgenre starring alpha males, which can be fun to read if you're looking for fiction. Obviously only do so if you can keep a good head on your shoulders and temper your expectations. Otherwise, I highly recommend Marry Him…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/21 08:00 PM
1

You know, I almost died in childbirth and I think about this every day. If I died, I'd barely know my girls, but I'd be good at my job. I'm not okay with that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/21 07:50 PM
7

I had one partner before my husband, at 27. He's made it quite clear that he'd have been a little uncomfortable with my being a virgin. Lower numbers are better, but 0 is not everyone's ideal.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/21 02:52 AM
3

I think I read that in one of your comments after I left mine, actually. I still think that's a big purchase to not run by your spouse, but to each their own. I also have no comprehension of their financial situation. It may not be for them.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 07:21 PM
2

It's not so much that my husband wants me to run decisions through him, just that he wants his opinion to be considered and I think that's fair. Constantly deciding everything, from whether or not we need higher speed internet to parenting to where to go to dinner to how we spend our money to what cellphone plan we have just sounds exhausting. What's the point of having two of us if I don't actually get any support? Making all of the decisions is not something I want again. I had that for years …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 04:14 PM
6

Different people need different things. This isn't a relationship that I'd want, because it sounds absolutely exhausting, but I'm a firm believer that there are happy and successful relationships that look nothing like mine. Sometimes I get a little worn out by the opposite problem, having to run everything by my husband, because he has an opinion on literally everything. Both models have their ups and downs, but I'd still take mine every day.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 02:30 PM
21

The responses here seem to swing from one extreme to the other, telling you that men won't care or that it's all over for you and it's really not that simple. Some men will ask and care, but as you get older, the impact will lessen. The men you're dating are going to be involved in the same sex positive, hookup culture movement that you've been in for the last four years and they're going to understand that the women they date will have a history. It's likely many of them won't ask or will want …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 02:28 PM
1

I really haven't had any of these problems. I don't work holidays and my hours are very set, though they do include one weekend a month and one night a week. My managers are really supportive and I don't breastfeed, because I almost died giving birth and nothing happened in that area at all. My husband and I work next door to each other, 10 minutes from home and 15 minutes from daycare. We had the literal most ideal situation... and it still sucks. I think that's why it was so difficult to accep…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/21 06:13 PM
12

When you get married and move in together, the rules are pretty clear. For most husbands and wives, their money is communal, so lamps and rugs aren't gifts unless they're wrapped and nights out are from the family fund. It's understood that a husband has to buy his wife presents for anniversaries and birthdays and share any bonuses. You've forged a new path, albeit a popular one but still new, where the rules aren't set. That's not recommended in RPW circles for a reason, which is already being …
/r/RedPillWives19/11/21 02:59 PM
20

I felt the same way at your age. I had a few friends from high school who already had babies and I was following them on social media, so I saw a lot of their fun times showcased. Then, my best friend had a baby and I saw, firsthand, how impossible it was to have a child, when you don't really have your house in order. She was still finding her place relationship-wise and career-wise and she was also just really young and hadn't had the chance to do many of the things she wanted. That little gir…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 07:16 PM
1

If you think he's testing you by telling you to spend money and then getting mad about it, it sounds like you guys have a more serious problem. You might look into some kind of counseling or a financial coach or both to help you get past his issues and refusal to talk about money or follow through with your joint plans... which is a refusal to lead financially. Even if you separate your accounts, unless you work things out the problem is still there
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 04:05 PM
1

It sounds like you need to get the app fixed or find another one and take over the money again, since he's not doing it. I get that you don't want to, believe me. I handled the finances over years ago and I've never regretted it, but if he's not going to steer the ship, you can't just let it crash into the rocks. Perhaps, when he sees you taking over again, he'll step up.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 03:15 PM
9

My husband has actually said the words "I can be a controlling dick when it comes to money." We don't actually fight about money all that much, because I'm fairly responsible with it, too, but I can definitely see where your problems developed. First, I think it's great that you take responsibility for your own contributions to this problem. As much as I hesitate to advise someone to demand credit in a relationship, though, I think it's reasonable to sit down with your husband and have a real co…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 02:26 PM
3

I think any man put off by your "masculine" career is probably insecure, himself, assuming you retain your feminine traits. I would just caution you to consider how your career will work with a family, if that's what you ultimately want. Doctors make bank, but the field can be pretty intense and requires a lot of schooling. Teaching might be stressful and low paying, but the schedule is ideal with kids. If you want to stay home, skip the student loan debt. Otherwise, if you want to be a mechanic…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 02:12 PM
3

A reasonable ultimatum is still an ultimatum. "...a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations." That's literally what I told him, that I couldn't marry him if he didn't get a job. The date was set. The venue was booked. Moving the date would have been a big deal, not far off from canceling the engagement. Marriage is forever and sometimes you have to be clearer about your limitations than others, I'd say even more so with a …
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 01:12 PM
7

Things didn't have to go back to normal. He realized this was a hard limit for me (and a reasonable one), respected that, and made getting a job a priority it wasn't previously. He didn't realize how much it had bothered me to think of him being unemployed on our wedding day, until I told him I needed to push it back if that was the case. He's always been the leader and wasn't less of one by realizing my limits. If anything, I'd say I respect him more for his response. I told him what I needed a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 03:12 AM
9

I agree that ultimatums aren't inherently bad, depending on how they're used and how often. When my husband was planning to get a job where I lived, because we were engaged and he was going to move, his parents were demanding he help on the ranch all the time. This ranch was in another state, about three hours away and he wasn't left with much time to look for work. It had been months and I had tried literally every RPW approved method to let him lead. Finally, with our wedding only a few months…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 06:43 PM
2

What you're worried about, him sharing or posting the videos and pictures, is super illegal. It's unlikely he'll do that, unless you deliberately antagonize him. I would just tell him you're in a relationship and don't want to be contacted anymore. Then block him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 04:53 PM
1

That's been my thought process, as well! I don't want this to be the only time I get to do these things.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 10:38 PM
7

All in all, I think it was a productive and respectful conversation. I'm satisfied I have what I need to not keep bringing up this subject and feel we are working toward the same thing now. Wonderful news! It's great that you were able to have a productive discussion without arguing and that you've set concrete goals. It'll be easier on both of you to know where you stand and not have to revisit the topic on loop.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 08:56 PM
2

I don't think you should feel bad for your previous childfree mindset. We all make plans and it's okay that children weren't originally in yours. I guess I feel like mainstream society is who lied to me. It's not the Carrie Bradshaw-esque 90's feminists. I never listened to them anyway. It's more the people I know who don't tell you about what they really have to give up to have that career or even the TV shows and media where it just doesn't come up. This is what normal people do, right? So, ho…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 06:18 PM
16

For what it's worth, I think you're overthinking the wine. I'm sure he would appreciate it. You might consider that the overnight bag means something more.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 01:05 AM
46

He asked me to bring an overnight bag but I don’t know about that yet. Way to bury the lead. I'd worry a lot more about this decision than the wine.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 12:52 AM
8

If your goal is to get out of debt and you set that goal together, you're allowed to be upset that he's not following the budget. You're also allowed to add a "Saving for a Child" section, when it's something you've planned together. Here are some things you can say: "I want to get out of debt, so we can start planning for a family. How can we do that?" "You seem to be enjoying this stage of life. How do you feel about the idea of starting a family on the timeline we agreed?" "Twenty-eight was a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 12:48 AM
5

I think you should look below the surface of these relationships. I've definitely witnessed seemingly good guys gravitating toward bitches, just as I've seen the opposite, but do you really want a man who has his priorities so skewed? Just as the girl who dates jerks has issues, the guy who dates the women you describe has his own problems. If it lasts and he's not just having a good time, I'd say 10 times out of 10 that woman is going to be the ballbuster in the relationship. In five years, the…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:56 PM
24

I agree that your husband may not be ready. He also may just be enjoying the extra funds, while he can, before its all spent on diapers and daycare. Talk to him. Ask him about the timeline you set together and if he plans to revise it and how. If he wants another year, you may have to compromise and agree to wait if he agrees to reign in his spending and buckle down to pay off your debt. Regardless of your life goals, you have debt to pay off and you need to make a budget, not a vague plan. You …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:50 PM
3

So we just made it work, because there was no alternative to making it work. If you had any ambiguous feelings about any of it, then yeah, that would be a game changer. I agree that this is the key. I think most people who make it work, find themselves in this situation. My SIL mentioned staying home a few times, but never did, despite having plenty of money. She's a mechanical engineer and has to fight hard enough to be taken seriously in her field, so I think it really came down to her having …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:32 PM
1

Yeah, I've worked with homeschool kids for years. That's what makes me want to homeschool.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 04:20 AM
2

I'm excited to stay home. My girls will be five months just before my last day. It's a fun age to be around them. Even if I go back half time soon, it will be nice to have this time with them.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 12:01 AM
5

Thank you. I'm glad I finally made a decision.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 11:57 PM
3

I think we all make compromises and just get used to them. Then we tell people "it's doable" without telling them what we give up or "it gets better" without telling them where we settled. This is absolutely true. We see other people manage something and don't know what they're giving up to do it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 11:56 PM
5

I didn't think I'd even like them. I knew I'd love them, but I don't like children and I knew I wouldn't like staying home. Now, I hate leaving them.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 11:56 PM
12

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:58 PM
6

Thank you for the encouragement. I feel very different about motherhood than I thought I would.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:57 PM
9

Yes, I know a few families who appear to make it work, but I obviously don't know the details of their marriage and parenting setup. My husband and I have never planned to use public schools, so homeschooling might be in our future. I think I could actually work half-time and homeschool, too, but I'm not going to convince myself that's possible either, now.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:57 PM
12

I'm hopeful that something will open in the next few months and that it will work with my childcare limitations. I'd love to do the same job 20 hours a week.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:55 PM
14

My husband and I really struggled with this, being 29 and 32 when we married. He'll admit that he had more trouble with it than I did, having been the sole decision-maker in his life for so many years. I'll never forget the arguments we had over decor. I like bright colors and soft textures and glitter. He likes dead animals on the wall and leather. He vetoed anything feminine. Ultimately, he got his dead animals in our converted garage and I got soft and colorful throws and pillows, so they're …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 05:14 PM
2

The cookbook section is usually one of the most popular in a good public library. You'll literally never even have to buy one.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/21 09:25 PM
22

Ideally, you'd have been upfront about your goals from the beginning and would have left if you realized you weren't on the same page. Now, I'd suggest sitting down with him and having a calm discussion about where you see your relationship going. Don't get angry or cry or throw around ultimatums. Just ask him if he sees you getting married and if so, when. Explain that you want a family (assuming you do) and marriage is still important to you. Then, listen to his answer. Don't rationalize or tr…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/21 12:34 AM
7

Losing weight and having reconstructive surgery are very different pieces of advice. I've had a reduction and it's a hell of an undertaking, one that isn't always covered by insurance.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 05:52 PM
7

I really don't think this is as big of an issue for men as the internet makes it seem. I mean, how much sex is a guy getting if he's online criticizing strangers, anyway? Your husband obviously finds you attractive and knows that you have a normal human body. I had a breast reduction at 15, lost a ton of weight in my twenties, and am four months out from having twins. My husband realizes that he didn't marry a porn star and still finds me attractive. He probably wouldn't if I were trying to hide…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 05:50 PM
10

None of the men I ever met online even hinted at anything sexual and I once counted how many first dates I had including my husband: 21. Twenty-one men didn't try to sext me. There's absolutely no reason you should feel compelled to engage in this so early in the getting to know you stage and, as everyone else has mentioned, it sends the message that you're up for anything.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 03:57 PM
1

I would never call myself an alpha female, but I do have a big personality. I always worried that I'd end up being the dominant one in a relationship or that we'd battle for power. That's not a problem in my marriage, at all, because my husband has a significantly stronger personality. He's the most extroverted person I've ever met, so I never have to worry about talking too much or having too much energy. He's impossible to offend, so being too blunt or saying something the wrong way isn't an i…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 03:52 PM
3

Sex is a make or break deal for a lot of people, but it doesn't have to be for you. Once you guys have things a little more settled, you can likely come to some kind of compromise.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 09:19 PM
5

Infertility is hell on your sex life. I can't imagine what throwing cancer into the mix does. I'm not sure if this is something you can fix right now. That doesn't mean it can't be fixed, just that you have bigger things to worry about at the moment and with all of the other things stressing him out, I doubt he wants to add this to the list. Try to increase your physical closeness by cuddling more and holding hands and kissing. Get well and then work on this.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 08:51 PM
3

I think this is where having a "type" becomes a problem. I never liked redheads... until I married one and gave birth to one. If a man is a little nerdy or has a beard or whatever a woman doesn't think she likes, it's worth a few dates to see if the attraction builds.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 08:30 PM
22

No, but I'd recommend any woman date a man, who otherwise fits what she's seeking, with the possibility of letting attraction build. The superficial things, like height and hairline and physical build, often fade into the background once you get to know and like someone. A man who isn't drop dead gorgeous can become genuinely attractive when you realize he's assertive and ambitious and funny and (enter your preferred characteristic here).
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 07:58 PM
17

Thank you! It was a rough year.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 07:31 PM
3

The time you spend on that car isn't wasted, though. You can always restore another car and it'll likely be better for your experience. OP is not getting more desirable for other men, as she fixes up the current one.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 06:39 PM
26

I don't think you're describing hypergamy, but incompatibility. It can be really easy to swing from one extreme to another, turning down redheads to accepting guys you neither find physically attractive or interesting and fun. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you're not a great match, especially when you start discussing child-rearing and politics.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 06:38 PM
66

Infertility killed our sex life. At first, I'd cry every time, because it couldn't make a baby. Then we couldn't, because it could impact treatment. Then we couldn't, because I was pregnant and sick. Then we couldn't, because I was a land whale. Then we couldn't, because I was post-partum from a C-section and recovering from "extensive" pneumonia and a heart condition. Now that we have twin girls, we actually have sex all the time. I'd say two or three times a week or more is our new norm, which…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 06:30 PM
1

Check out your local library!
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 05:34 PM
3

Well, you're not alone. Dating is the worst. I hated dating. I wanted so badly to skip to the part where I could sit on the couch in my comfy pants and watch Netflix with my husband... but dating got me there! He was my 21st first date and my second kiss. Persevere!
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 03:34 PM
1

If someone is actually looking to get to know you and build a relationship, sex is likely not something they expect on the third date. My husband has said outright that he wouldn't have waited if he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. It's really just a good vetting strategy.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 02:29 PM
6

Don't have sex with him right away. Actions speak louder than words. The best way to do that is to not put yourself in a situation where you can easily have sex. Don't invite him over and don't go over to his. See each other in public and get to know one another. When it does progress to that point, because you just can't put off being alone with him, just tell him you like to get to know men more before having sex with them... and do it before anyone's clothes come off. If he bails, you've succ…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 01:22 PM
1

I’m not comfortable about talking about not having sex straightaway. Plus it ruins the journey I feel You know, I keep seeing advice for you to do this and honestly, it reminds me of the anti-slut defense the RP guys talk about. It could easily come across as a way to make yourself feel better as you convince them they're special, because you never do this. My husband waited eight months for me, because he was the second person I ever kissed and I certainly didn't bring that up on the first date…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 01:16 PM
16

Well, it's absolutely not true that all the good men will be gone in a matter of months. I promise. Yes, you should be aware of time and biology, but this kind of thinking will only stress you out, at best, and make you come across as desperate, at worst. Enjoy being single and take the time to do the things your husband won't want to do, one day. I remember spending a full Christmas break binge watching Gossip Girl and eating snack foods for dinner. My husband never wants to do that. 😉 As for f…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 11:55 PM
3

You really don't realize how much time is lost in commute and life's chores until you're there. I never thought I'd want to stay home until I had my girls. It literally never occurred to me, but now that they're here, my husband and I both see a lot of benefit in having one parent home. I hate leaving them at daycare and just don't care about my career at all anymore. Since we've both been adamant that public school is not an option, from literally our first date, the current plan is for me to q…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 08:20 PM
14

But if you have a disinterested child As a public librarian, I must say, a huge problem I see with the way public schools teach reading is that it becomes a chore. I've never seen public school kids as interested in reading as homeschooled children, because the latter doesn't depend on test scores the way the former does. I am constantly talking to parents of public school kids about how to get their kids to love reading and that question literally never comes up with the homeschool kids I see. …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 08:11 PM
5

There are also middle ground options, like online charter schools, where someone else plans the curriculum and does the grading. It still requires way more work than just sending them to public school, but allows for many of the perks of homeschooling.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 08:02 PM
7

We're in the same situation, actually. I just had twins and we'd like to try for another, if my cardiologist gives us the green light. I never thought I'd want to stay home with my children. Catholic school was always the plan. I have a bachelor's in education and a master's in library and information studies. I've worked as a teen librarian for years and most of my regulars are home school kids. They're bright, usually out performing their public school counterparts and they're actually far mor…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 08:01 PM
2

I hope it's a comfort to you. It was so hard to find anything to read that didn't leave out all the bad, or worse, end in heartbreak. You have really good odds. Don't let yourself think otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 04:03 PM
7

The day before Valentine's Day of 2020, my husband came home with the news that his sperm count was so low, IVF was our only option. I was devastated. Then a pandemic hit and all elective procedures were canceled indefinitely. I felt exactly as you feel for most of last year. If I couldn't conceive, would my husband leave me? I knew the answer to that was no, but I also knew that wouldn't necessarily mean we'd have the strong, healthy marriage we had. Would I grow to resent him, even knowing tha…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 02:52 PM
17

Plenty of unattractive people are in happy relationships. As long as you're making an effort and not demanding something you don't offer, you'll be fine. Date the guys who are 5'8", the ones losing their hair, the ones who are a little nerdy looking. Focus on ambition and humor and personality over appearances and let attraction build over time. None of that stuff matters when you're crying because the baby won't eat, anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 11:46 AM
5

You can always just give the same response that he does. It doesn't matter to you and you don't use it that much. You just have to make that be true.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 10:57 PM
16

Have you always felt this way about your relationship? Have you enjoyed sex with other men? Would you say that you're in love with him or just that you love him? It seems there are two possibilities: you're either projecting a romanticized ideal on this relationship, expecting it to look different or feel different based on outside influences like social media or reports from friends or romantic books or movies... or you're settling for someone you love, without being in love with them.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 06:54 PM
15

I would guess that OP is pretty young, but my husband and I met when I was in my mid-twenties and we never did this. We both deleted our social media accounts years ago and only recently got an Instagram so family can see our babies. Life is much better without all of it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 05:33 PM
81

Maybe it's time to take a break from social media.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 02:55 PM
3

It certainly seems like, from her comments (which you may not have seen yet), he's not especially interested in living the life she wants to live. I know a lot of men who wouldn't be game for a SAHM and I know others who would love it. She might need to consider finding the latter if this is really what she wants.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 09:27 PM
5

OP, I know more than a dozen women who are married to men who make nowhere near what this commenter suggests and they do just fine as SAHM's. Most of them even homeschool, so they've been home for years. Don't let this line of thinking discourage you, even if you ultimately decide that this guy is not the right man for you, because he doesn't want the same things. You can absolutely live on one income of 50k if you have no debt, live in a low cost of living area, and live within your means. If t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 09:22 PM
6

I think for most people, ambition is innate to their character. If he doesn't want to advance, there is absolutely no guarantee that he'll ever change his mind. That's okay, but for OP, planning to have a baby and quit her job, on the assumption that her SO will feel motivated to climb the corporate ladder is a dangerous gamble.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 09:18 PM
8

Does this mean you're only having one baby? They tend to come a couple of years apart, if not. If you're hoping to stay home and raise multiple children, until school age, you're looking at anywhere from 5-10 years before reentering the workforce. I don't think it's fair for anyone to villainize your SO for being content with his career and not wanting to take on the full financial responsibility of an entire family, just because it's not who I would personally want to be with... but it seems li…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 09:15 PM
22

> My partner makes a decent salary and has a degree but he definitely could make more of he wanted to but he isn't very ambitious that way and has actually seemed angry with me when I try to better my salary as if I'm just greedy or something. Does he claim to want you to stay home with children? You mention a relationship, but not marriage. Is the plan to have children outside of marriage? If so, it's already not ideal for entirely practical reasons, but the man you describe doesn't seem to wan…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 06:40 PM
1

Mona Lisa Smile is a favorite of mine. Julia Roberts' character has good intentions, but is guilty of the same pressure as the system she opposes. There's a brilliant scene where Julia Stiles puts her in her place.
/r/RedPillWives26/10/21 02:03 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter