TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ToughSuccotash2007 Archive

View 7 posts and 41 comments by ToughSuccotash2007 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Totally hear you. From my understanding the denial of diagnosis is actually an indication of more severe BPD. I’m glad you survived. Seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:00 PM
5

It’s amazing how similar the BPD stories are. I’m watching my ex go through her own version of this story.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:06 PM
2

Yup, her "adjacent" behavior was bad enough to cause an arrest for felony stalking. So she's got that going for her, which is nice.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:39 PM
2

Luckily I have no kids. Which means, the only fight left (money) will feel like a near-term loss. Long-term, I win by getting out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:38 PM
1

That was the first thing my (female) attorney mentioned. Seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:37 PM
1

It's crazy that the more effective strategy is the less ethical one. Actually, not crazy at all.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:36 PM
1

I needed to hear this. You’re absolutely correct. Damn, it would feel good though!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 08:03 PM
1

All good. It’s not like you had that context
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 02:44 PM
3

My other options? Let me add context: she’s broken my nose, destroyed a hotel room, scarred the back of my neck from deep scratches, smashed 2 work computers, broken countless household items, poured water on my side of the bed before early work meetings, caused permanent nerve damage after hitting me with a hippie crystal (oh, the irony), thrown water all over me at several restaurants, tugged the wheel of the car while driving on an interstate. So yeah, I left her. And wanted to live in peace.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:00 AM
3

Oh man. I'm at a loss for words here. How traumatic. Hope you're healing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 05:14 PM
2

Thank you. I think she fully expected me to cave. Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 04:57 PM
2

How long ago was this? You can absolutely escalate outside having an active TPO. I technically didn't have one since we couldn't find her to serve. Did not matter in my situation, the AirTag registration was sufficient. You may be within statute of limitation. Worth a look, honestly. Just be ready to answer why you waited to report it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 04:40 PM
4

Wow wow wow. That’s rough. You didn’t keep the AirTag? Or grab its registration? Sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 04:11 AM
5

That book seriously opened my eyes. Totally agree with its philosophies. Being “nice” hurts all parties.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 02:07 PM
7

I ran into mine on a date - very clearly not a first date - about 3 weeks after I initiated / moved out. Unsurprisingly, she is also stalking me (hid AirTag under my car’s front bumper). She’s really building a solid foundation for this new relationship. His circus now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 01:50 PM
2

Yyyyyup
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 09:50 PM
2

My man, that screams "BPD". First and foremost, the most immediate takeaway is that threats are more credible than not. Treat them very seriously. Read the statistics on actualized/successful self- and partner-harm. That disorder leads the pack of all disorders on violence.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 06:18 PM
2

That was the first thing I realized when I first spent time in the BPD survivors' community. It's like we all had the same experience, were with the same person. Amazing and terrifying at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 06:15 PM
2

I hear you. There's also a risk/reward to factor in that approach. Also the dependency of time, which I did not have the full luxury of realizing (stbx had suddenly-escalating violent episodes, which accelerated my exit rapidly).
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 03:42 PM
6

I spent 3-4 months interviewing various law firms, hoping to find anyone who had cracked the code on realizing even a fair division. This has been such a hard pill to swallow, but once I accepted the situation's reality, it allowed me to focus on why I was exiting my marriage. Strangely, the financial loss emotions quieted rather quickly... and to say I was hot about it is an understatement. My stbx is a borderline, so I spent the last 4 married years sleeping with my best friend and worst enemy…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:53 PM
1

How? I've looked at this so many different ways. In my state (Colorado), I can find zero mechanism even engage the court on anything other than "equitable" division. It seems that this is just a mathematical formula that provides the judge a narrow range of division; apparently the judge will not hear any circumstances/evidence, except for when children are involved.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:43 PM
1

Man, it's all good, but I appreciate your words. They are always smart, hot, engaging, entertaining... perfect. It's frankly terrifying. The love bombing - man, I was so naiive. Mine just seemed kind of rudderless, but not even close to being a disaster. I've been meaning to research whether there is an "adult onset" iteration of the disorder. She was 35 when we met and her volatility and erraticism got progressively worse. A few spicy moments after about a year, to breaking my nose / scratching…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 04:16 AM
3

Well said. It feels like both of us can still claim luckiness in that it could have been worse. I now live in CO, where against all statistical odds, met a BPD survivor in my building. His story is one more level worse than mine: his pwBPD weaponized the courts, which is truly terrifying. Guy lost his house in Beaver Creek ($$$!!!), cars, furniture, dog and… almost even is medical license. Stories like this remind me what could have happened if one little variable changed. What if the police off…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:20 AM
2

Agree with this sentiment. Maybe the question for OP is: what would your 90 year old self recommend?
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:09 AM
3

I walked out of my marriage about 6 weeks ago. Borderline. Severe. Lots of physical violence, property destruction, threats to life (both to me and self-harm), wild amounts of verbal on a weekly basis. But she was also my best friend, travel partner, work collaborator, etc. I was so bought into what I thought it should have been that I missed the indicators that there were far more issues than anything I could address. She’s in the process of taking massive amounts of possessions that aren’t her…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:02 AM
–

Excellent advice and validates what I expected to do
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 08:45 PM
1

Totally agree. It's hard to determine when she's gone, now that we are in "limited contact" (only discuss moving logistics/timing).
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 05:03 PM
5

For context, I'm partially through the process. I took a trip to Scotland/Ireland as a reward for serving her (gotta get those Delta miles off the account!). Now that we're in the throes of dividing home goods, I'm allowing myself to buy half-decent furniture / kitchen gear to replace what she takes. My original "it's finally over" gift was going to be a Rolex. Now it'll be a "Rolex" from certain non-Swiss source - that'll be more in my budget after seeing how $$$$ this process is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 03:55 PM
2

Careful on that FWB point... that's what led me to being in this group!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 06:37 PM
1

Damn man, I’m feeling for you. Just remember what Churchill said: “when you find yourself going through hell… keep going.”
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:17 AM
1

Damn. Can you go full NC and totally off social media? My approach is full-blown ghost status (or so I hope to be strong enough to do)
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:12 AM
2

Damn… I signed my decree ~3 hours ago! STBX is getting notified in the morning. The blend of anxiety and relief is so bizarre - no idea how to describe it. OP, how did it go after serving her??
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:02 AM
1

Amazing how costly the “analysis / paralysis” is… I can count my expense in the 10s of thousands, if not more. Talk about learning my lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 06:20 PM
2

Brilliant - this is great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 12:40 AM
2

Excellent idea on pre-paid rent. Hadn’t thought of that
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:19 PM
1

Very fair question and thanks for the words. It’s truly amazing to plan on paying-out my abuser.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:18 PM
1

Her. And numerous, increasingly dangerous, instances over a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 05:46 PM
2

Oh, and the attorney to give me the same advice you are! But seriously - good luck man
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 11:08 PM
1

CO
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 10:49 PM
3

That’s tough, sorry. I’m definitely struggling with the idea of paying off my physically-violent abuser, even after funding 75% of our lives these past 3-4 years. It’s clear why guys get jaded.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 09:43 PM
1

A car sounds risky for exactly what you mention. Pretty sure I can’t be forced to further split car maintenance and CPA work though!
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 08:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter