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Uhh--wait_what Archive

View 6 posts and 25 comments by Uhh--wait_what on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’ve opted to pay all of my sons shared costs, phone, sports teams, school lunches, etc 100% and should end up m not giving her a dime. She is so bad with money I’m afraid of i gave it to her it would just disappear and i would end up paying those things anyway. My lawyer was all for writing this into the papers as my CS plan. Now- that said, still waiting on a judge as the case keeps getting continued four one reason or another.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 11:33 AM
1

I’m not going to lie, I think I got very lucky, but my experience might be helpful because the thing that makes my new lady and I work comes down to communication and patience. We are both very h like you. Both in our 40’s, both from long term relationships, both have kids, and both of us were going through the stages of deciding whether to leave or not when we met online. We bonded over a post i made about certain anxieties i was dealing with and after i moved out she and i met and hit it off r…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 11:25 PM
13

Without a doubt i am happier. Life used to be me dealing with all the family stress, carrying the burden of everything on my back, even the shit she did to herself became my problem. I carried her mental health as well. I spent 10 years telling myself i can’t leave because she can’t help it, she’s not in her right mind and she cannot control it. I was called a narcissist for being numb to her emotional manipulation, for not showing i cared enough, when it was me that initiated every touch, kiss,…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 03:28 AM
3

I felt the same way not 6 months ago. I had been with my wife going on 25 years. I knew it was going south in a hurry, had been for a while, but I was holding on for dear life because I didn't know what to expect on the other side of things. I had the tremendous fortune to make a post in one of the many reddit groups I was following at the time, and I was asking the same question. I got a DM from someone replying to that post that led to a conversation that changed my life. She was going through…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 04:11 AM
1

Good thought. Thank you. We will be sure to let her know.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:34 PM
3

Thank you for this. Such great advice. We had planned to do it after school, but maybe we can wait until tomorrow morning so he can have the day to process it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:02 PM
1

Thanks for this. I will sit down and see what this looks like today.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 01:55 PM
1

Thanks for the tip. I’ll look into this today
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:02 PM
1

Oh lord, thanks for the tip! That’s crazy
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:01 PM
2

She has not, but she likes giving gifts so I expected she would try, which is why I made it clear I didn’t like the idea.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 11:49 AM
2

I ended up buying a record she wanted. Nothing really romantic, just a respectful gesture in a tight moment. It was awkward but I think it is better than just blowing it off.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 05:10 AM
1

This is exactly why I was apprehensive. I don’t want her to feel unappreciated, she’s not a terrible person, I just am ready to move on from our differences.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 01:00 AM
1

In a bit late to the party here but I’m dealing with literally the same struggle. Married 18 yrs, together 25. There are so many great reasons we shouldn’t try to work it out but the reasons to divorce are heavy and hard to shake. No intimacy, differing personalities, different goals and at this point even our values seem to be out of alignment. We get along fine unless we are talking about the marriage. I’ve been lining in the basement for several months hoping the separation would motivate her…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 01:32 AM
1

Have you been able to find someone that appreciates you? Honestly that’s the biggest hurdle for me is convincing myself that it’s worth pulling the trigger. Too many people give me the “the grass is always greener” speech and I end up loosing my nerve.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 01:19 AM
2

I’m in a very similar situation and can say with full faith that this far, the “list” isn’t going to help much. We have each other our lists about a month ago, and for the first time in months she tried to be intimidate literally that day. It was “ok” but that same detached feeling of “she’s doing it because she thinks she has to not because she wants to” was still there. Since that day it has been all talk and zero delivery. I can’t say my experience is the only one out there, but it for sure i…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:12 PM
4

Wow, lots to absorb here. I have already spoken to a lawyer about the cameras, perfectly legal here, so good to go on that point. Also working on documentation. The rest has my head swimming. Thanks for all the feedback. I have a lot to process.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:32 AM
7

Yeah I wouldn’t go for that. It also traps you from any future relationships. Good luck getting a decent person and explaining your situation. You can’t remarry without the divorce, and all the benefit of separating without divorce land in her lap, not yours.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 11:39 AM
2

Have you checked with the VA for any assistance or programs to help with legal fees, mortgage assistance, etc? Also, check with your employer about benefits available. I know I have access to financial planning resources, legal advice, and some company loan options that aren't exactly common knowledge. You may have a website that will list these "total benefits" that might help.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 05:54 PM
10

Great post. It hits to the very reason I'm still pursuing divorce even though she initiated it and she is backing down. The mental state she puts me in at times makes me not want to be here, and for me and my son, I never want to be in that place again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 01:43 PM
1

Yes I have a therapist albeit that is relatively new. I was diagnosed with ADHD in May and started therapy to help work through that diagnosis and build a toolset to help navigate the challenges there, but when this all started we switched gears to address this stuff. I dunno, yes I'm all over the place posting and asking questions because I can only talk to the therapist once every week or so and I don't have friends to talk to about this, or at least the ones I do have don't seem interested in…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:12 AM
6

This goes back to controlling the controllables in your life. Having an alcoholic tell me to get help while not seeking help themselves wouldn't motivate me at all. Take care of yourself, fix your own demons, and stop putting your happiness in her hands. If she continues to avoid her own issues then move on. I can this after 25 years with someone that constantly says give me another chance. It never happens. Your dry spell in the bedroom will turn into 5 years in no time and she will ask you rep…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:09 PM
1

Yeah. I'm lacking in this dept. I have 2 people I am very close with. 1 is local but not a huge help. The other is out of state. Haven't even told him yet. Not sure what to say. Kind of feel like I'm on my own right now. There are a few people I know kind of well, but I feel like a burden to ask them to help lift me up from my thoughts. My buddy out of state is the kind of guy that would be at my place saying pack your shit were going camping. That's kind of why I haven't said anything, he would…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:56 PM
3

I need this more than anything. I struggle to make actual friends. I know a ton of people, but knowing people and having friends is a huge separation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:14 PM
2

Yeah if you are at that point with no kids I would jump on there chance to exit there relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 01:33 AM
2

I wish he were in HS. He started 5th grade this week. He will change schools at the end of the year regardless was the reasoning. She wants to move back to IL whether we divorce or not, so there's that. That said, I've set up an appointment with a lawyer to get legal advice and start thinks on my end. A lot of her issues are tied to mental health, she's bipolar and all this started with another 2 week stint in the hospital, which she says was caused by me. Nail on the head with the restraining o…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 06:25 PM
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