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Unable_Caterpillar Archive

View 0 posts and 208 comments by Unable_Caterpillar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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17

There was a good reddit comment (forget the sub) about a man who went out of his way to be kind to everyone, volunteered, good with kids, etc... and it was all performative. He only did nice things for strangers and acquaintances so people would think “oh what a great guy!” while not lifting a finger for his family. Y’all, my dad is very similar. He used to work at a nursing home and got presents for all the residents and nurses there for Christmas. He has not gotten me or my brother a Christmas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:41 AM
16

I can definitely see how porn and prostitution can lead to people dehumanizing women, and thinking of them as means to an end instead of as fellow humans. Our culture already does that so I could definitely see it pushing people already inclined to be that way. That being said I agree, fuck Ted Bundy and literally anything he has to say. His opinions have zero value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:52 AM
15

Yeah he doesn’t mention cardio at all? Or diet, as you mention. This guy is really expecting to lose 20-30 lbs by just doing subpar sit ups.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:02 PM
16

He should have said “I totally respect your decision to keep the baby but I’m not going to be an involved parent. I’ll pay child support, can “babysit” or whatever but be prepared to be a single mom.” Instead he has hemmed and hawwed and acted like an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:40 PM
16

Outliers, like YouTube stars. They exist, but you better be the best promoter of all time and fit a very narrow looks criteria. Even if you manage all that, it’s still a lottery. Also, even if you win that lottery, be prepared for dudes to track down were you live and stalk you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:33 PM
17

Oh God, yeah run. The guy has some genuine self-help type stuff for guys that sucks men in (because heaven forbid they go to actual therapy). Then he gets really sexist. And racist. Also I think he promotes an all-meat diet? Run FAST from anyone who thinks this idiot is admirable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:13 PM
10

I saw a guy arguing on Twitter that a single mom who got evicted should’ve been on onlyfans. You literally cannot win, they hate you no matter what you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:02 AM
104

Men 👏🏻want 👏🏻what 👏🏻they 👏🏻can’t 👏🏻have. (This is a human trait but women tend to be more self-reflective.) If you only want sex, he wants a relationship. If you want a relationship, he only wants sex. This is not to say what he truly wants in his heart of hearts is sex/or a relationship, he’s just in love with the idea of what he doesn’t/can’t have. Men like this will literally never be happy and it’s entirely their own fault. Don’t get sucked into their black hole of misery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:27 AM
11

LOL these dudes would have sex with a jar of mayonnaise and act like we must be so ugly since we’re single. Spoiler alert: no woman is too ugly to get a date. This is a tactic to try to get us to settle for men who bring nothing to the table.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:00 PM
14

I would keep it vague like “Warning to all women: Do not be alone with this man.” It’s not libel to say anything like that. Could you use the Nextdoor app? Also if you can’t do anything don’t blame yourself. I warned everyone at an old job about my assaulter and no one listened. I later saw a high school girl I worked with (and had warned) hanging out with him, sharing headphones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:45 PM
17

I’m so sad to read the comments where women want children but their biological clock is ticking. I’ve never wanted kids (now in my early 30s) and it’s honestly SO freeing. I don’t suffer fools. I said I didn’t want kids so why would I cook and clean for a manchild?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:50 PM
31

Never do couples counseling without first doing individual counseling. Also be VERY aware of what abusive relationships look like. This is elitist/anecdotal, but I have had better experiences with psychiatrists (MDs) than LCSW/therapists/psychologists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:36 AM
57

She should cut her losses and think of him as a sperm donor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:07 AM
8

Father 20 years older than his wife? Yeah, that family is putting up a front. Listen to your gut. Also listen to the “Something was Wrong” podcast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:39 PM
31

Got cat called in the middle of the winter bundled up in a puffy jacket and a scarf wrapped around my face. There was no way for them to have any idea what I looked like. It’s all about making us uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:33 PM
78

EXACTLY. If he doesn’t spend money on you, he does not care about you. How he spends his money shows his priorities. My NVM father bought a Mercedes for a girl he was in love with. He is notoriously stingy, he bought his mom $6 flowers for her birthday which is better than the $1 card he normally gets her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:06 PM
11

Yeppp. You earned every cent of that pay. Talking to self-aggrandizing perverts? The worst. And these scrotes think women want to line up and do it for free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:39 AM
41

Or she could go this route https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:54 AM
41

Partially for my sanity (and partially because it’s at least somewhat true) I assume most of the crazy reddit posts like this are fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:55 PM
9

Glad you brought up lovebombing. I recently listened to season 1 of the “Something was Wrong” podcast and it reminded me a lot of stuff here that is posted under “how to high value.” The crazy narc abuser sent her flowers all the time, paid for everything (refused to let her pay), flew her all over the world on vacations, etc. All while cheating on her, secretly abusing her dog, and friend catfishing her as two other people. The first months your brain is literally drugging you. Anyone can act l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:31 AM
16

Preach!!! I seriously know of like, two healthy lasting relationships. And honestly I’m probably just underinformed about them. One of my coworkers is constantly complaining about her fiancé’s family, his friends, his spending habits, etc. I’m like literally even one of those would be a dealbreaker for me?!? Are you really that lonely?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:40 AM
2

To be fair, I was in high school and was just going off my own experience! I think I was trying to quell some of the porn delusions these guys had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:29 AM
15

This is absolutely horrifying. But even if it wasn’t, people used to masturbate perfectly fine on their own without porn. Women still do it all the time, because 99.9999% of porn is for male consumption and frankly just gross. Also on “biological urges”—Cameron Esposito has a great bit on how biologically, she really wants a baby (logically she does not want one). Yet she manages not to rape random dudes. Crazy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:06 AM
4

When I read sh*t like this it makes me want to cover my body in tattoos. Then I remember there are tons of LVM who like that, so I’ll just stick to having a couple of cute little ones for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:56 AM
22

Getting his friends to consistently lie to you and lying to you is gaslighting. It’s making you doubt what you’re observing. Abuse isn’t a competition. Yes it’s worse if a man hits you vs. him hitting a wall, but hitting a wall is still abuse. Often men start abuse very slowly. I’m sorry you had to go through such extensive abuse but I think using the term this way is appropriate. Women should get out as soon as it starts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:29 PM
5

Well I know I’m 5’5” and my heels are 6”. You’re not fooling anyone dude 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:21 PM
45

In high school I told one of my male friends all women can control their noises and honestly most of us naturally aren’t going to make a lot. Seriously if I’m unconsciously making a noise it’s much more likely to be a BAD sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:46 PM
27

I have a bipolar friend. Honestly I personally would not date her, but she still cooks/cleans/does all the emotional labor in her relationships. She’s worth the at times toxic behavior she sometimes exhibits. Kanye’s problem is that he’s a narcissist. Also he seems super controlling (remember when he picked out all her outfits/later criticized how she dressed?). Oh and a misogynist. He is a NVM. Also, as someone with ADHD and depression it is totally ok to decide you do not want to deal with a m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:42 PM
5

As someone who also had a narc ex—that wasn’t true love. True love is boring and not dramatic. Sending you good vibes sis ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:43 PM
10

Pickme moms are the absolute worst. They’re so dangerous. I’m glad you’re safe now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:32 PM
18

A good way to approach this is to ask her questions about things and act as dumb as possible. The goal is to get her to realize why it’s an issue. It’s tough but definitely try not to insult the guy (at first) just be as neutral as you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:03 PM
8

Yepppp. I’m surprised at these responses I LOVE my BC (although I have had bad experiences) and when I was on them I liked my anti-depressants. Men aren’t diagnosed with depression as often because of the patriarchy. They won’t go to the doctor or therapist, and their depressed behavior (not cleaning, cooking, showering, whatever) is excused my society. Another instance of blaming women/feminism for what is clearly men’s/the patriarchy’s fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:48 AM
47

Yep. Men (and women) who take care of themselves and have good genes look good. That being said, women find men their own age attractive. My grandma was just calling Anthony Hopkins handsome the other day (he just looks like an old man to me). Men are the gross ones who prefer people who look like literal children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:43 AM
26

I really think it’s a dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:23 PM
31

Right? This is 100% written by a dude. Tons of guys will swipe on you, but that doesn’t mean you get tons of matches, or that the conversation won’t fizzle. And then when you get a date, he might ghost you for not sleeping with him or after you sleep with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:23 PM
13

There are plenty of selfish parents out there. I don’t think accident baby = automatically bad, or even that people who plan babies are better. Plenty of LVM want babies but also want to have nothing to do with childcare. A LOT of people have kids for stupid, selfish reasons, and if you are young, not financially secure, don’t have a supportive family, etc. it IS responsible to abort. Again I don’t agree 100% with the comment but I really wish we looked at abortion as a good thing in these situa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:23 PM
14

One time I was out on a trip for college. It was four girls, three guys at Walmart. The four of us walked out of the store and these two guys were like “Hey baby” and whistling at us. Then the three guys in the back emerged and they got quiet IMMEDIATELY. Dead silence. We laughed about it at the time but now I’m more angry about it. The three guys were pretty stunned about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:37 PM
6

Nah men have just gotten worse at hiding it. Used to be a lot of guys at least made a clumsy attempt to hide it. Or maybe I was more oblivious when I was younger? I really did remember high school boys being absurdly obvious about it, so probably not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:33 PM
50

I think so too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:30 PM
24

The best way to hurt him is ignore him. He wants attention. Don’t give him any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:06 AM
3

I did this in middle school because it was a safe way to say “hey I’m straight!” while also not dating dudes because of past abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:47 AM
30

Oof I got to the end and that age gap... what an ass. He really thought by going young he could put in zero effort and never have to grow up. Congrats on getting rid of him, and I’m sorry that it hurts now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:49 AM
15

I can’t believe she thought, “Oh but I was sexually harassed more as a waitress!” was actually saying something. Like maybe your standards are just shit because you’ve been sexually harassed your whole life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 02:52 AM
31

Did you see the AITA about the girlfriend unplugging his video game? She got dragged for... unplugging an electronic, meanwhile he was so “exhausted” from work he couldn’t make like a half hour a night to talk to her or even have sex with her. Then he kicked her out of their apartment. Women are treated so terribly on reddit I’m glad FDS exists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 11:11 AM
85

He didn’t eat all day (dumb), brought no snacks (dumb), and she’s the asshole?! He’s a grown ass man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 11:07 AM
85

I have seen sooo many posts like this where men really think women are going to be mad if men choose sex dolls over them. And every woman I know, even SWers, would APPLAUD this development. They really have no idea. No woman wants a NVM who would prefer a sex doll. Meanwhile if women got robot husbands they would go NUTS. Classic projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 11:02 AM
25

God bless you. We can only hope in sunk in after a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:18 PM
45

I’m half-white half-Hispanic. My white mom is a huge pickme. My Hispanic grandma puts up with 0 crap. She picked a HVM that did all the childcare (she was bedridden for weeks after birth), always pays for everything, etc. She cooks but he does dishes (he likes to be helpful it is very cute). Every culture puts men first. EVERY culture. But you can overcome it (I know it’s hard!). You have to be a strong person who won’t settle. Glad you’re breaking the pickme cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:58 PM
8

Quick reply but google the terms if you want to know more: option 1) go no contact. If that’s not possible, try option 2) go gray rock. Sorry you’re dealing with that and best of luck ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:33 PM
70

Not a movie but 30 Rock with Tina Fey ending up with James Marsden was pretty cool 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:25 PM
13

😂 🤣 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:08 AM
8

Omg I once saw a tweet saying something like, “Women are crazy! Look at Gone Girl!” Like they think a fictional story is an accurate representation of all women. Meanwhile if anyone dares point out that 99% of violent crime is perpetrated by men it’s misandry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:42 PM
29

Women offer men supportive friendships and men act like it’s an affront to them because she won’t tickle his pee pee. Imagine being that entitled and shallow. I can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:03 PM
16

When I was in high school my friend’s mom was driving us home. My friend and I were joking about me marrying the guy I had a crush on because he had a “pretty last name.” My friend’s mom got weirdly mad and said to never marry a man for his last name, you could just change your name. So do that. Seriously, just legally change your last name if you want to/it’s a bother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:20 PM
24

I lurked 4chan when I was in college. One time this guy complained about how women were repulsed by him because he was so fat. I think he also was bald/had a medical thing that made him smell. Like legit revolting sounding. One commenter said, “Date fat chicks” to which he replied, and this is 100% true, “Well I have to be attracted to them!” Zero self-awareness. Never give an ugly guy the benefit of the doubt, they would NEVER do the same for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:45 PM
4

It happens! Don’t worry you are on a great path and will find happiness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:28 PM
5

I like that clarification, at first I was like “hey we don’t leave our spouses when they get sick, that’s what men do.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:27 PM
2

Wait, why do we think this sub is going down? I got the impression that GenderCritical was banned because it’s so strongly anti-trans. I don’t see FDS discussing trans topics regularly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:19 AM
16

One time due to a website calendar error, I met a bunch of women (no men attended!) at a writer’s group. I heard a lot of cool stories, but one that stuck with me was a widow who, as soon as her husband died, sold their house and EVERYTHING in it. When asked why, she said, “Everything in that house was a compromise.” Appreciate being alone if you’re single and decorate however you want 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 05:42 PM
10

Meanwhile men, suddenly having to do maybe a fourth of the childcare women regularly do, are complaining nonstop about how parenting is hard. They’re all like, this is unsustainable when are schools reopening?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:26 AM
61

A huge proportion of men just don’t see women as humans. They hate fat/ugly women for daring to not please their penises, and they hate hot women for daring not to fuck them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:24 PM
87

My ex did this. Spent ALL his time at work (I’m talking 3am on a Sunday) but literally was just goofing off. He’d then pull all nighters to get a project done, and all his coworkers thought he was such a hard worker. He hated that I was never impressed by his all-nighters, because he could have just done the work when he was goofing off. This is not the norm here by the way, but it still got him praise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 02:11 PM
6

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:28 PM
11

If I’m with acquaintances I’ll personally hand the server the tip and say, “And this is yours/for you.” Also helps to shame them into tipping at least a little.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 05:40 AM
14

My only experience with European men is Spaniards and Italians. They always pay. Even if they’re not dating you, the man pays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 05:35 AM
13

Yep those jobs are toxic masculinity as a profession.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 05:20 AM
7

Right?! My grandma makes my grandpa a plate because he is literally blind. My uncle does it instead if he’s visiting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 05:56 PM
8

Someone I followed on Twitter would match with guys on Tinder and then say her app was acting up, and get them to send her a screenshot of their settings. She would DRAG any guy who had his settings with a minimum of only 18. They would flounder and try to explain why it wasn’t creepy. If any of you ladies use OLD try this trick first thing. His minimum age should be 25 at the lowest if he’s in his 30s. Disgusting. By the way OP so sorry but also so glad you got out of that mess. Our hearts tric…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:58 PM
29

I would suck it up and do online dating but be prepared to block a lot of men. Don’t do Tinder, my friends like OkCupid and Hinge but it really just depends. I’ve stopped dating for a while. I’m not up for meeting people during COVID. I’ve noticed that a lot of what I want from a relationship is just that early infatuation phase, and that doesn’t last long, so I’m staying single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:22 PM
6

Eh, people were unhappy in the ‘50s. It’s what the Feminist Mystique is all about. Things have always had their bad parts and good parts. In the middle ages no one cleaned like ever, so that lessened the amount of labor (obviously not a great system). In the 50s in the USA there was better financial stability... for white people. Also your husband could be violently abusive with impunity. I think the key thing is to learn from everything. Bring back what works from the past and keep what is work…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:41 PM
17

They can’t deal with real humans, flaws and all, so they blame the woman for shattering their illusions. Don’t ever trust a man who blames a woman’s looks for his marital woes, the problem is 100% him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:24 PM
48

You don’t need to look the “exact match” of an instagram model though!! So you know, at least look similar 🙄. Be sure your in your early 20s, not fat, and preferably blonde and white! 🤢 🤮 Seriously a man would have sex with a pile of manure as the song says. That doesn’t mean he sees piles of manure as human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:12 PM
55

Denial, with some religious crap thrown in there. She can’t accept he’s a cheating POS because her religion wouldn’t allow her to divorce him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:16 AM
79

I had a situationship with a TA of mine (so gross) when I was 20 in college. He was “only” four years older. Then I got to be his age. I heard a colleague of mine recall how he was “in love with” one of his TAs and thought she was sooo smart. Then he got to grad school and realized all the stuff she taught was basic stuff you learn in your first year. Suddenly it all clicked. My TA wasn’t that smart. He wasn’t that good looking. I just admired him, and he took advantage of that. Younger women, d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:36 AM
52

I’m not currently in a relationship but I’ve told men I’m friends with, partners of my friends, etc. about this board. They have no problem with it. A man paying for dates says “I value you.” They still watch porn (I don’t want to know the details, again, not dating them) but admit the industry is trash and that things like camgirls are only ok if you’re single. One only watches “feminist” porn which is made by women and at least shows a variety of body types/no boob jobs. Not perfect, but they’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 04:15 PM
3

If possible I would move to a big city on the east coast or Chicago or something. Do you live in an area where Uber and Lyft is big? That can help too in an emergency but also can be scary. I would work with a therapist to see if you could get over this phobia. It’s perfectly ok not to drive. There are lots of men out there who like to drive women, they think of it as taking care of her. Work on driving in your own time and dump anyone who acts like it’s a huge burden to drive you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:06 AM
15

Maybe I’m just super jaded, but I don’t believe this guy. It sounds like this girl is depressed but he thought he was a hero for doing the bare minimum. I know some messed up women with mental problems. All of them have threatened to kill themselves if their boyfriend leaves them/attempt suicide after a fight/etc. I feel like if she was really that unhinged he’d have more specifics. Also the “I’m not settling down for you or anyone else” is such a huge red flag 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 07:33 PM
97

Yeah if he thinks dating is hard he should try raising kids. Or being married to some loser who expects you to cook and clean for him. Men are asked to do 1/4th of the work women do, and it’s fun work, and they still complain. 🚮🚮🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 07:18 PM
11

I honestly think it’s genetic, or maybe even because I’m a Virgo. My upbringing sure as hell didn’t do it. My mom’s a recovering pickme, my dad is just garbage (you can look at my comment history lol), my friends in high school were all pickmes. I had pickme tendencies when I was younger. However, my paternal grandma is like me and takes zero shit. She came from a paternalistic culture and completely turned it around. She had my grandpa in the delivery room instead of her mom (scandalous for the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:31 PM
12

It’s a game you can’t win. You’re supposed to have big hips and a butt but magically have slender thighs. A body type like a Black woman but you can’t be dark skinned! It’s impossible without plastic surgery. It’s all misogyny (and racism!) to keep women in place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:04 PM
36

It’s completely a status thing. You can be model thin and gorgeous (obv!) or plus sized and gorgeous. Women just look better in general. But the whole wanting extremely thin girls thing is because other men respect it. Men don’t realize how much society influences who they’re attracted to. They love to say “I’m allowed to have a preference!!1” but never think about the racism, sexism, ageism, fatphobia, etc. than informs their preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:58 AM
21

My dad has eating issues. Like, should get diagnosed for an eating disorder. He eats probably 1000 calories a day and all of it is junk like ice cream and chips. I’m shocked he hasn’t gotten scurvy or rickets honestly. Anyway, he’s thin, I’ll give him that. He’s also 5’2”, completely bald except HUGE (now gray) eyebrows, and exclusively wears clothes from the 80s. Oh but they still fit! 🤢 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:51 AM
25

Oh honey... 1) Dying alone is better than “living” with someone who doesn’t value you 2) He’s gonna die waaayyy before you, like 20 years or so 3) Google the “sunk cost fallacy.” You are still so young. Do yourself a favor and leave. If you can, try to see a therapist or maybe read some self-help books. You can do this. We’re all rooting for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:40 AM
21

Does anyone else think that sounds super suspicious?! Like that maybe he “stealthed” and slipped off the condom? Anyway I hate so many commenters but it made me feel a little better to see one of the particularly egregious ones was from a Holocaust denier. I’m thinking odds are he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:30 AM
23

It’s not you. Most men are trash who love to take advantage if they see any opportunity or weakness. You have to stay vigilant and cut them off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:24 AM
26

I hate that people say, “a child needs a father” or “I can’t divorce him because of the kids.” Nope. Wrong. A LVM is 100x worse than no men at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 07:47 PM
4

Don’t forget he also has a baby mama that he presumably never married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:20 PM
39

This sucks but it’s for the best. Imagine finding out he was a cheater after you were married, living together, had kids, what have you. Also bad behaviors only get worse. If he couldn’t stop his wandering eye now imagine how he’ll be later. Anyway it’s totally human and okay to feel sad. He wasn’t who you thought he was. He betrayed you. But you did the right thing and in time you will be much happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:40 PM
27

So many “he doesn’t clean” comments. If y’all want to clean up after something get a dog. Better looking and more loyal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 11:17 AM
43

My dad is a “good Catholic.” He goes to mass daily. Works oh so hard (2+ jobs). It’s all a front to look good. His phone is filled with porn apps (and viruses from those porn apps). He couldn’t even tell you either of his children’s ages. Did NOTHING to help my mom raise me. He used to work at a nursing home and gave presents to all the staff and residents on Christmas presents. He doesn’t buy me or my brother birthday or Christmas presents, unless we celebrate with his side of the family, in wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 08:26 AM
81

Thanks for this post. I seriously feel like I’m going crazy half the time. I have male family members and friends with high value traits but they still leave all the childcare and housework to the women. I have a friend who is a good dad, but once a blue moon makes some shitty comment about his wife’s diet/veiled comment about her weight (she JUST had a baby). I also know lots of women who suck. My own grandma disliked me (but still loved me) because of ingrained sexism and colorism. I preferred…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:51 AM
67

Grooms her and isolates her so she has no other options. Textbook abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:23 PM
84

Also, has this “woman” ever met a little boy. They make fun of little girls all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:46 PM
49

They shouldn’t be doing this to boys either. Why would you want your kid to be able to act this way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:45 PM
78

There was a Washington Post article on how ADHD is more often missed in young girls because girls express it differently. So while boys may be overprescribed, girls are underprescribed. Also those girls still often manage to do well in school, but not because it’s easier for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:12 PM
27

Because many LVM love to be the victim. Girlfriend breaks up with them for constantly standing her up on dates?? She’s the bitch, he’s a blameless victim. Incapable of self-reflection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 10:53 PM
16

“Love at first sight” is not love either. LVM literally think infatuation/lust is love. It’s pathetic. They also make zero effort to be attractive or even hygienic, and then are SHOCKED when women don’t think they look good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:59 AM
21

I saw a comment on a website ages ago (I think it was Jezebel) from a woman who struggled with an eating disorder. When she got unhealthy skinny, men flocked to her, and gave her waaaay more attention than when she was normal weight or even slightly underweight. Luckily sis wrote off men entIrely after her experience, she just couldn’t believe how shallow they were. I would not be surprised if it was related to pedophilic tendencies, as well as wanting to be able to completely physically overpow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:33 AM
8

It’s totally understandable! They used to always publish addresses but now ages are much, much more common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:24 AM
30

Fair enough. The governor of South Dakota is a terrible leader, but she’s also from the political party of N/LVM and the patriarchy. When women embrace the empathy we’re taught but also don’t let ourselves be doormats, I think we really bring a lot to leadership positions. There’s a book, “Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? (And How to Fix It)” that has some really good insights on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:31 AM
47

Gonna start telling any man who asks if I’m “kinky” or “a freak” that I love sticking knitting needles up dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:57 AM
32

I’m a Dr. (of philosophy!) and I am SO sick of being called Miss/Mrs. Ms is better, but of course I would prefer Dr. Why the hell in the year of our Lord 2020 are we still referring to women’s marital status in what we call them?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:51 AM
9

I’m in the U.S. I have heard from men who use public restrooms that before COVID, most men (or like 50%) didn’t wash their hands after peeing. I get that they don’t wipe, but Jesus. You still have to flush! Who knows what’s on that? I have seen/heard women not wash her hands before, but it’s rare and like something I remember and tell people about since it’s so rare. I can’t speak for how people behave when alone, but yeah, that’s only “cute” on the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 12:27 AM
46

Yeah, my mom would HATE this. Also, I’m suspicious about him posting about it and bragging. Also did he have the kids do the dishes? Cynical me is thinking this guy probably annoyed his ex and left her with a mess. Then again my dad was huge on “performative kindness,” so I’m very jaded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 12:15 AM
93

You see your entire life as abundant with friends, hobbies, etc. and only welcome men who will further enrich that life. You can’t be scared to be alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:06 AM
11

Do yourself a favor and as a palate cleanser watch the Inside Amy Schumer parody of Catfish. Since you have hulu it’s season 4 episode 6, “Fame.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:01 AM
82

Not to mention how easy it is to knick yourself/pull off something and end up bleeding. Don’t sleep with morons, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:59 PM
40

I don’t want to doxx myself so I’ll be as vague as possible... I know of a man who used to work at a high school. He had sex with a teenage girl there (I think she was 16?) and is on the sex offender registry. He now has a PhD and works at a university as a professor. Still works with very young girls, makes good money, has a good career. This dude is full of it and needs to take responsibility. These NVM love to blame absolutely everything and everyone before themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:35 AM
61

Oh. My. God. Forget the age gap, there is so much to unpack here. Why did she get her tubes tied instead of him getting a vasectomy? When it’s less risky, works better, and oh, he’s the one actually fucking other people?! Then there’s the polyamory being allowed because she has a low sex drive. Gross. Did they even use any protection? Then there’s the age gap. Jesus what a mess. Like what country and century is this? Plus of course she’s defending him. Pickmes like this will do the most elaborat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:24 AM
62

Congratulations, you made the right call! Look at it this way—he couldn’t even change his behavior for a week. What if he develops any other bad habits? What if he uses all his money on OnlyFans accounts instead of taking care of you/your home/kids/etc.? Don’t feel silly at all, trust me, this stuff only gets worse over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:36 AM
121

A FIVE YEAR relationship too. So he’s been with her since she was 21. This is every red flag in the book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:50 AM
19

My friend works at PP and says to only test if you have a breakout. I’m kind of in the “herpes isn’t a big deal camp, we might all have it” but the lack of disclosure is NUTS. He’s out there having one night stands and waits six MONTHS to tell her? And to be clear, he didn’t disclose because he was “scared” that would mean he wouldn’t get to have sex. That’s literally all he was afraid of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 02:56 PM
34

I really think the vast, vast majority of men are as faithful as their options. It’s not about looks or even sex necessarily, it’s that their partners see past their bs veneer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:24 PM
3

U.S. white evangelicals are especially bad, it’s like a cult. Avoid all “deeply religious” men. It’s a cover for bad behavior. Video on narcissists and religion: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8S5BtjpF9dA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:41 PM
47

Instead of concentrating on bringing anything to the table, they focus on how deprived they are for not having a sex doll/maid/therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 05:10 PM
23

I’m so sorry that happened. Treatments have gotten a lot better, I wish your friend the best. You’re smart not to do casual sex, no woman (or man honestly) should. Note to everyone: never be with a man who is squeamish about condoms or STD tests. And never stick with a cheater... there have been cases of wives getting it from their cheating husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 06:36 PM
8

Yeah, like it’s actually overpriced for a CZ. HSN and QVC sell crap like this for $20.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 06:26 PM
37

I’ve been thinking about the AIDS epidemic lately, and how all men have to do is wear a condom—not even avoid having sex, and men can’t even do that. They literally will accept dying painfully for an hour (or tbh a few minutes) of pleasure. Btw, not shaming anyone with HIV, especially women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 06:11 PM
41

Yeah most men do not treat women as humans, regardless of what they look like. They completely ignore or ridicule ugly/old/fat women, and they only see pretty women as sex objects. So many men will fake respect a pretty woman and turn around and insult her/call her names when she dumps him or rejects him. I’m a little older (30s) and work with people who are in general a lot older and I don’t see this nearly as much. I’m also a professor, and I’ve found that in general (not always) men in higher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 11:10 PM
86

I’ve had a guy friend say they prefer dogs and immediately say it’s because of his own insecurities. Anyway, men who can’t respect a cat’s boundaries sure as hell aren’t going to respect yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:00 PM
16

So I’ve actually noticed with some of my relatives they treat their pets the same way they treat their kids. For example, my mom never disciplined us/spoiled us and she does the same with her cats. Zero discipline, feeds them whenever they want, lets them out at like 3 am after they wake her up, etc. So watch if your partner is like this with pets. Do they only want to do the fun stuff, or will they clean up poop without complaint? Do they train their dog, or not bother? Alternatively, are they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 10:07 PM
3

Take it as a lesson learned the hard way and never do it again! Dating is terrible, especially online dating. I would really say try to avoid dating for a while and work on yourself. It took me lots of years but now I am really truly happy to be single, and any man would have to add a crazy amount of value to my life for me to date him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 03:45 PM
6

This is so true. Like I cannot understand why people post there. Imagine typing this whole post out and not knowing you should leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 03:40 PM
6

This is a good point, if your animal likes your boyfriend don’t automatically think he’s a good person. Cats and dogs can be off too! Don’t ignore other red flags. I have an acquaintance with a cat that only likes her. She’s a complete pickmeisha, has cheated on multiple boyfriends, and is self-absorbed. Oh, and she declaws her cats and puts them down once they have like any kind of medical issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 03:37 PM
42

It’s not just you ladies, men are statistically awful. Do not marry any man who undervalues your labor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 02:29 AM
57

True, and as you said they gain weight in their gut, which is much more unhealthy than women who tend to gain in their hips/thighs. They also don’t live as long in the first place, so it’s only logical to date younger men ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:52 AM
41

It’s her apartment too, he lives with roommates normally. Seriously what value does he possibly add to her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:45 AM
17

Rogaine? It doesn’t help hair to grow back but it should prevent further loss. Don’t use it if you guys have cats though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:49 PM
96

Some are definitely lying. I’m a professor and most of these kids look like babies. But there are also dudes that just age poorly. And not a single one of them knows how to take a picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:47 PM
55

Yep. Someone in my family is like this—too anxious to ask out women. He’s also too anxious to apply for jobs, and not related to anxiety, but doesn’t cook or clean. I genuinely believe he has severe anxiety, but he doesn’t work on it and has no drive to improve. You do NOT want to date him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:49 PM
17

I wouldn’t say it was jealousy, just general xenophobia. It’s common in America, it’s common elsewhere. Look at the Americans turning to xenophobia against the Chinese instead of blaming the most LVM president of all time. Men are terrible in slightly different ways everywhere, but they all benefit from the patriarchy. Like in Why Does He Do That?, abusive men in Africa would beat their wives and American/Western European men would find it abhorrent. But the African men found it abhorrent that A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 11:48 PM
5

Would bet money he’s lying. Tinder is full of men who are in their “twenties.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:09 AM
151

Women will message people randomly to check up on them. Men will only reach out if they want sex. Block these dudes after the first “hey.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:29 PM
17

Now it’s women’s fault teenage boys masturbate to them. You can dress like a nun and some teen boy with jerk it to you. This is ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:39 PM
15

I really like to plug this book but “Loving to Survive” draws parallels between straight relationships and Stockholm Syndrome. It’s seriously Stockholm Syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 12:05 PM
19

Yeppp. By the way, my father is a LVM. He doesn’t buy me Christmas or birthday presents, sometimes he sends a 99 cent card. One year I had Christmas with his side of the family and he got me the same thing as all of the cousins... a book from the clearance section of a used book store. That being said, he always tips cute 20-something waitresses like 50% 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 09:07 AM
62

Can I just say this isolation has made me appreciate being single more than ever? I’m not stuck next to one person driving me nuts, I have time to do so many things... it’s great, honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 07:25 PM
6

He said that once the baby is born Lauren needs to get to the gym. Then he showed off the hot nanny. Like, if he was a fictional character I’d think he was unrealistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 10:14 PM
53

Places where men married/marry young women often had/have polygamy. Rich men would take 2+ wives, leaving poor men either wifeless or taking younger and younger wives. Edit: tenses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:05 PM
46

I hope that’s the case... but sadly there are plenty of mothers who do not love their children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:06 PM
20

I think this is pretty much universally true. I’ve always had a pretty good bs detector, but what I thought was love at 21 was not real love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:27 PM
32

Even videogames are better than porn! Play some Animal Crossing you creeps. Seriously even if they just watched Netflix all day and did nothing to improve their lives or others it’d be better than actively harming themselves/others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 02:56 PM
21

I have a lesbian friend who has a very hard time of dating, very few lesbians in her area. I’d recommend just getting a female roommate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 03:36 AM
26

They literally think attractive, white, young, fit, able-bodied, etc. women are the only women who exist. My friend was a smokeshow in high school/middle school. Then she got in an accident, became handicapped and gained weight. Men who had been friends with her for years just ghosted her. Why would anyone want those friends?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 07:47 PM
9

Yeah, the only dudes who approach you cold are absolutely LVM, usually physically repulsive and old enough to be your grandad. I made the mistake of reading the comments. Reddit really hates anything that could possibly be interpreted as feminist even if it’s just stating facts. So glad we have female only subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 07:44 PM
15

My grandma is VERY traditional. She cooks mostly (he has his specialties) and my grandpa does the dishes. He grocery shops for her or at least brings in the bags. He will say the food is good and she’ll have to harass him to try to say the shrimp came out too hard or something. It’s not “traditional” to be a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:55 PM
91

In general, men get way more out of marriage than women. Free maid, nanny, etc. Lots of women get sucked into these kinds of marriages and the smart ones get out. Also, even men that want out and cheat never actually leave their wives. They try to gaslight her into it, or just stick around because again, free childcare, free chef and free house cleaner. Glad you got out sis. No man is way better than a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:54 PM
69

I’m not even bi and I’d rather date a fat woman than a fat man. Women carry their weight better. Men’s dicks literally shrink with weight. Nope. Just nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 11:32 PM
13

I mean... I don’t know, it depends. Some men are just good at hiding that they’re monsters and infatuated people tend to miss red flags. My former “forever girlfriend” friend (now “forever fiancée”) once told me about a couple getting engaged after two years “I don’t know if two years is enough to get to know someone.” Every HVW I talked to shut that reasoning down (as did I), I’m sure it was a cope since she’d been dating her man for 5 years by then with no ring. So I’d say 2 years as a general…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:39 PM
46

I have a friend who is from the U.S. but lives in Japan and has a Japanese husband. It’s a different kind of low value, I guess. Not necessarily as much “just trying to get laid” but Japanese men can’t do ANY housework or cooking (worse than Americans). My friend’s husband thinks he’s a rock star because he occasionally does the dishes after she cooks. Also they’re all of course porn sick and have more access to sex workers. A Japanese colleague of mine literally told me: “Japanese men like youn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:31 PM
23

It’s totally normal and ok not to be attracted to a great on paper HVM. It could honestly be body chemistry telling you you’re not compatible, which is good! However, if this happens with every HVM you meet, you may be attracted to messy relationships. Humans literally get addicted to hot and cold relationships. So, if that happens to be the case, work on yourself first. Try reading the Baggage reclaim blog by Natalie Lue and see if a reason for this could be unhealthy thought patterns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:21 PM
13

It’s unreliable, but useful. I had a horrible gut feeling about one of my neighbors in an apartment complex, but nothing ever happened other than some truly bizarre conversations. Still, better safe than sorry. I think it’s better to avoid scary men than give them the benefit of the doubt. HVM get it, they know how scary the world is for women. However, it’s easy for your “intuition” to be influenced by things like racism or infatuation. If I’m with a guy and I “just know” he’s the one for me I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:43 AM
6

I’m in my 30s, and my favorite exes are younger (up to 10 years). You have to vet properly (don’t be someone’s mother), but in ideal situations it works out really well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:08 PM
41

It’s not about getting a man. A man has to enrich your life. If a man does not want you to live your best life, he is not worth your time. I get it, society has brainwashed women into thinking they need a man, but that’s exactly ass-backwards. They need us. If all the grown women in the world disappeared one day tons of men wouldn’t be able to feed themselves, let alone watch their own kids. You’re way better off single than with a man that resents your success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:34 AM
42

It means there will be no second date, because you will block his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:29 AM
10

Me and my gorgeous friend actually love anime, but we see it as a red flag. We’ve agreed the best way to go is to find a guy who has not been exposed to anime, and then introduce him to what we like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 11:45 PM
12

Yeah I have never been with a guy not into period sex... I can’t believe anyone cares that much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 11:43 PM
15

Yep, I was at my most depressed when thin because I blamed fat for all my problems. Losing weight should be part of self-care, same with skincare, makeup, etc. Don’t do it to look good for men, do it because you respect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 11:37 PM
21

Tbh men are just creepy. I’m assuming it’s somehow sexual, either congratulating your partner or confirming you’re together. They could just be being nice, but it’s not the most likely scenario. Most stuff men do to be “nice” is weird flirting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:53 PM
7

As everyone is saying, you don’t need to defend yourself, but if you want to give them a truly horrible example, google “ My (20F) boyfriend (21M) wouldn’t pay for my meal when I forgot my wallet.” Tell them you’re weeding out trash like that. Anyway they’re probably trying to make themselves feel better for dating LVM by reframing it as their own choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:05 PM
76

I once made a comment (if you dig it’s in my history) about how sex for women isn’t often rewarding because of things like “selfish lovers/small dicks/one minute men.” A guy immediately replied saying I was insulting all guys with small dicks. I wasn’t, but if I can’t feel your dick why the f would I want to hookup with you? What am I getting out of this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 01:09 PM
18

This is a great post. It’s so true. If a man doesn’t add significant value to your life he is not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:56 PM
29

I was with FOUR male friends and had had a weird encounter with a drunk guy before the gathering, and asked if one of them could walk me to my car. The car was IN EYESIGHT. Like as you said, 20 steps. After some almost pleading one of them finally agreed. Dude is a real boy scout too... I did really appreciate it but I shouldn’t have had to beg. LVM will not do women ANY favors if they don’t want to fuck her. It doesn’t matter if it’s the most minor of minor asks, or if it could save her life, L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 06:48 AM
22

“Too much”?!? Once is too much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:03 PM
13

Go out in the sunlight, seriously, it’s improved my mood so much. Just like 10 minutes a day of walking around and observing the beauty of nature does wonders for your mood. Try to stay in the moment whenever possible. So like when in nature, focus on the trees and birds and really see them. Focus on your breathing. Things like that. Also do go out with your friends. Do silly stuff like play board games. It’s ok to be sad, especially so close to a breakup! Don’t try to fight it, just acknowledge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:19 AM
26

We’re very similar! I’m in my 30s, travel all over, have two cats, and can catch a dick any time I want (I rarely want to). I swear people who say this stuff are brainwashed. They’ll be married to a loser who is ugly, can’t clean, can’t take care of his own kids, etc. and think the women with the low maintenance cats are the crazy ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:57 AM
18

This is so wild, I live in the US and in the rural areas white people get married at like, 20, and in big cities (NYC, Boston, Chicago, LA, etc.) people don’t get married until they’re like 29. It’s like urban/rural areas are different planets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:54 AM
31

My mom had me at 36 (I have a PhD and make good money). I know someone who’s mom had them at 50. I know infertile people who have happily adopted multiple children. You’ll be ok!! Life finds a way of working out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 10:59 PM
18

Reddit is horribly fatphobic (the whole internet is, but reddit is really bad). Please look up fat positive things on other websites—you are worthy and it’s ok to be fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:06 AM
27

The first time I was sexually assaulted I was 20 and worked as a server with a bunch of high schoolers. The guy who did it was a cook there, old enough to be my dad. I told EVERYONE. I wanted those high school girls to be safe. Instead everyone saw me as needing to “get over it” and I saw the high school girls do things like share earpods with him. I felt so sad and deflated. This was over 10 years ago. I like to hope things are better now. But be prepared for people not to listen and call you t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:04 PM
14

I went on Omegle and posted “tell me a secret.” One dude said he lost his virginity to a prostitute and regrets it. Anyone who does this is going to feel nothing but shame afterwards (unless they’re in crazy denial). I almost feel bad for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:56 PM
4

Even if this was true...My last ex was 10 years younger than me. It actually worked out pretty well for a while but we were incompatible for big things (he wanted lots of kids I wanted none).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:49 AM
54

I encourage everyone to look up dopamine and the reward system. There was an experiment similar to the OP’s analogy with monkeys or apes (I can’t remember). Basically they got the most dopamine from the “food bowl” being full 1/2 of the time. This is why men and women love hot and cold relationships. DON’T BE FOOLED BY DOPAMINE! That system was made for seeking out food/survival, not entertaining fuckboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:34 PM
22

I’m fat as hell and it honestly STILL shocks me when people are kind to me. Most of the time I’m ignored, if not outright treated cruelly. I lost over 100 lbs at one point in my life and all I got was a handful of creeps doing things like following me into a Panera and coming over to my table. I don’t mind being fat now. I’m older (30s) and work with older people who are too old to give too much of a shit about looks. I’m also in a rural area where everyone seems to be as fat as me or skinny but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 10:36 PM
59

Women don’t get this same benefit of the doubt, of course. Men who sexually harass women “mIgHt jUsT bE tRyInG to bE fRiEnDly.” Whereas a woman who says something like “stay away from that creep” but takes no formal action is trying to ruin his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:45 PM
4

Ooo, thanks for this! I'll also send it to my momma (recovering pickmeisha)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:11 PM
7

You should read “Loving to Survive.” It covers this topic as well as relationship abuse. I don’t agree with 100% of what it says but it’s still a great resource.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:22 AM
11

I would suggest telling him to see a doctor for options on losing weight, to be honest. Weight loss is very similar to battling addiction, it’s best to get help from the medical community. Also I would focus on the health aspects, say you want him around so he can be around for his grandkids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:34 PM
2

Avoid him as much as you can then. Let’s say you work with him need to give him a paper or something, ask a friend/colleague to do it. Don’t text, do brief emails, etc. Natalie from Baggage Reclaim talks about breaking up with a guy she worked with. I highly recommend all her stuff, but particularly look at her no contact blog posts. Good luck! We’re all rooting for you. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:12 PM
27

When my grandma was dating my grandpa, he’d pay for her and her chaperone’s movie ticket. He never forgot his wallet. I can’t believe the entitlement of someone who would only do free dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:02 PM
30

No contact. And try to divert yourself from thinking of him. Good luck, it’s tough but in a little bit you’ll be thinking, “wow I was obsessed with that guy?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:03 PM
6

Stay strong. May I recommend no contact (or the least amount as humanly possible)? Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:01 PM
2

People won’t have sex with you because you’re monster who doesn’t care about his own biological children or see women as people. The gene pool is trying to get rid of your awful ways. Let it happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 12:22 AM
4

I’m very fat positive and I’m glad you made this point. However, I don’t like the way you framed this. You don’t have to have thyroid problems, PCOS, etc. getting in the way of you losing weight—our modern life (especially in the U.S.) makes weight loss MAINTENANCE (losing weight is the “easy” part) very very difficult. The biggest loser study demonstrates this. After losing weight, your metabolism slows so you would have to eat much less than someone of comparable size. This metabolic slowdown …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 04:39 PM
19

The easiest way to deal with this is make up a fake boyfriend and bring him up a fair amount (or a real boyfriend, if you have one, mention him!) Also—avoid them! Be polite but cold. These men would ignore you if you were still the “ugly duckling.” Don’t feel sorry for them. I was an ugly duckling who grew up to be an ugly duck and I don’t make men feel uncomfortable. I treat them like normal humans. They aren’t kids, they need to learn to deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:51 PM
8

Fat girl here. I am white and pale and I do well with men from certain other countries. It’s because I’m American and white and Western culture has literally beaten into these people that they are inferior. It’s not exactly a basis for a lasting relationship. They also don’t care about weight (often prefer heavier women) because weight preference is actually really really cultural, not biological. As for a Russian guy saying you’re thin that’s just a weird thing to comment on, AVOID. Anyway, loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 08:30 AM
16

My mom had me at 36 too, in the 80s lol. It's really not that late don't buy into hype, the risks of birth defects go up from like, less than 0.5% to a whole 1%. I know someone who had a kid in her 50s. The kid is great. That's just to say, don't settle because you're worried about fertility! You can't plan out life like that. There's adoption and all sorts of options, it's much more important to find a HVM and work out the rest later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:51 AM
2

Some recommendations for keeping it off: lots and lots of walking (or other exercise)! Exercise isn’t that great for losing weight (compared to dieting for sure) but is fabulous for keeping it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:00 PM
8

Completely different opinion from everyone else—no, don’t wait. Don’t wait to buy clothes, don’t wait to do your makeup the way you like, etc. Because life doesn’t wait. Your life is now, not 40 lbs from now. Get your confidence now, and work towards your weight loss goal in the longer term. Don’t let your weight define you or what think you deserve. Google “the fantasy of being thin.” I’ll say at this time that I am currently fat, but in my early 20s I lost well over 100 lbs. It did NOTHING to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 07:23 AM
1

It’s all awful, honestly. It was complete luck of the draw that I met someone IRL. OLD or IRL honestly just feels like a lottery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:57 AM
7

My therapist also really opened my eyes with the idea of a self-fulfilling prophecy and how it affected my dating life. The blog baggage reclaim explains this well: “ So if you imagine that someone believes that relationships don’t last, that men disappear and cheat, and that there is something unlovable about her, she’ll get involved with someone who offers the least likely prospect for commitment who is likely to blow hot and cold and disappear or outright abandon her, and who will have a tend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:43 AM
12

My friends are gorgeous and I’m fat. Like I’m pretty imo, but I’m fat, always will be fat even with surgery, diet, and exercise. It’s how I’m built. I also have an extremely apple figure, no hourglass shape at all or hips at all. The vast majority of men don’t like me. Meeting people irl is impossible, I HAVE to go online. One of my gorgeous friends goes from one LTR to another and is literally never single. I’m her only female friend. She can’t handle being alone and honestly I feel sorry for h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:21 PM
84

I think older woman/younger man is a MUCH healthier dynamic than older man/younger woman, and the latter is way more common of course. Get it girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:58 PM
5

It depends where you live. I live in a poor/rural area and everyone here is married with kids by like 21. I need to move back to the east coast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:31 PM
43

Women can be drafted once a woman (well actually women) decide to start a war. Men love to complain about “feminists” completely ignoring that literally all their problems are caused by other men. Wars are started by men. They complain #MeToo goes too far, ignoring the fact that if men didn’t rampantly assault women we wouldn’t need #MeToo. They literally cause all the problems and expect us to take part in cleaning up the mess. Naw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:25 PM
6

Please. Think of sex like ice cream. Everyone likes it, but if you always have access to an ice cream buffet you’re going to value it a lot less than someone who can only afford it once a month. Also sex with men can be great. But often it’s not because of selfish lovers/small dicks/one minute men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/20 04:18 PM
4

Someone else recommended it on here, but check out the Baggage Reclaim blog by Natalie Lue—she also has books!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 02:44 PM
4

I know so many short men with literally nothing to offer who dated tons of women and are now married. Why? Because they actually have confidence and gumption. So many short dudes make an OLD profile, copy and paste a message to every girl (but no fatties or races they don’t like!), don’t talk to women irl, etc. and wonder why they can’t get a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 02:19 AM
5

Do you have Netflix? Watch Marriage Story. It’s a pretty accurate depiction. Things can be pretty easy (on the legal front). My mom and dad didn’t use lawyers. My mom had a trump card on my dad though—he’s a super LVM and she threatened to reveal to his parents all the crap he pulled, so he fell in line. If either partner is vindictive it can go terrible easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 06:12 PM
3

I live in a poor and uneducated area, so I don’t date much. I wait for a guy to show interest and vet whether we have shared values, and then go from there. In the meantime I work on myself, my career, and hobbies. I’m not sure the exact details of what you mean here, but you can reveal it in a way that shows you personally wouldn’t put up with that. Like literally say something like, “I don’t know how she puts up with that. I would rather be out on the street then put up with that.” I also woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 09:19 AM
6

There was a radio show where people called in wondering why they didn’t get a second date. The radio show called this woman and she said the guy moved their date from a restaurant (he hadn’t gotten reservations) to Hooters “so they could watch the game.” Then he commented on the waitresses’ breasts. She should have walked out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 11:20 PM
30

God bless older women. They’ve taught me by example that the best relationships start with setting high standards and never taking shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:19 PM
18

I was about to say, this should only be said to pets and maybe toddlers when they’re being little monsters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:26 AM
5

Yes. I have an ex where I worried he would leave me because I knew his flaws and we argued a lot. I ended up leaving him and now like 5 years later I’m glad I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 06:55 AM
5

I do want to say, as a very fat person, losing weight does very little for your self-esteem. Get out, try to feel confident (you’re doing great!) but don’t use weight as an excuse. I’ve been fat my whole life but I’ve attracted more men at my fattest than thinnest just by being confident, more extroverted, and upbeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 06:17 PM
9

7 years isn’t a huge age gap if you’re in your 30s. It is when you met him as a teenager. It’s a red flag. If he was otherwise perfect, didn’t know your age when you met, etc it might be ok. But look at the rest of the facts. You expect he’s cheating? Also you’ve been engaged for two years (why so long when you didn’t date that long beforehand?) Take it from an older woman, this does not look/seem good. It will suck to leave him, but I swear it will be 100x worse if you marry him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 09:35 AM
7

This is insane troll logic. It’s morally wrong to stab people. It’s not the moral responsibility of a stabbed person to not get stabbed. Why aren’t you grateful we haven’t murdered/raped you is a horrible unhinged way to look at the world, please seek therapy, find God, whatever. Seriously. Also strength is not that important. Humans are the dominant creatures on earth but can still be taken down easily by say, a bear. Raw strength is nothing without intelligence, forethought, and planning, all …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 09:20 AM
13

See her thread from a day ago on her being surprised by her success with FDS strategies. It’s good advice. Basically you approach/talk to guys, stroke their ego, then slowly pull away once they’ve taken the bait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 05:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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