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UnimportantOutcome67 Archive

View 2 posts and 297 comments by UnimportantOutcome67 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

IME as a human being, keeping shit locked up inside is really, really bad for me. Name it to tame it. The best disinfectant is sun-light. I'm not doing this on social media, but if someone asks (they have to know me well if they ask that kind of question), I let them know.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 06:23 PM
15

I have no reason to be ashamed of my conduct or comportment during the marriage. She made her decisions. She can live with the consequences of people knowing what a shit human being she is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 04:28 PM
8

Let. Her. Go. You cannot win her back. I didn't get married until I was 36. First kid at 38, another at 41 and a 'whoops, a baby' at 46. We got 20 years in until she decided she was done with the whole marriage and kids thing. I have all the kids, including the special needs youngest. I moved on, pretty quickly, because I gave it my all and I had nothing to be ashamed of. I did my best to be a loving and devoted husband and father. If that's not good enough, fuck her. Here's my advice, FWIW: Let…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 10:58 PM
1

I filed first. If nothing else, seeing my name as the petitioner makes me feel better. But me taking the initiative knocked her back on her heels, her contempt for me was so complete, she didn't think I would do it. She's been playing catch up ever since I flipped the script.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 02:07 PM
3

Fuck, no. She burned our family to the ground. She didn't just betray me, she betrayed the kids and their concept of who their mother was.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 01:41 PM
15

Same. I look back at the shit I put up with, the effort I put in and how little I received in return. It's a little nauseating. I'm in a relationship with a fellow care-taker personality and it's so refreshing to be treated well.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:50 PM
12

Bro', The over-arching theme the last few years of my marriage to It was It's contempt for me. It culminated with It cheating on me with some pretty shady characters. My two teenagers chose me over It. My guess is your kids see what's going on. My teens are pretty much thriving without It in the house (now 14 months). That's my experience. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 11:46 PM
10

GTFO. Her problems are no longer yours. You cannot fix or help her. Peace.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 04:30 PM
10

100% My kids' lives and my life are so much better with her out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 03:48 PM
11

Awesome. Good on you. We are still working through ours, but much the same. Best thing for me and the kids was her to move her drunk ass out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:54 PM
1

You do you. If you feel ready, you probably are. If you don't, you are probably aren't. If I had it to do over again, I'd have gone on a hook up app and gotten that out of my system. That being said, I've been dating an awesome lady almost eight months, now. (Our first date was seven months after the STBX left the house.).
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 10:03 PM
15

Fuck. No. In CA you would be presumptively the parent. Get with your attorney and make sure you're protected.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 08:18 PM
3

If you're confused, you're abused. Mine threatened me with divorce for years. Filing on her ass was the best decision I ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 03:50 AM
1

I'm a little over a year out. I think and talk about her less and less. Maybe you're holding on to stuff. Might be time to let some stuff go.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 02:05 PM
2

How long has it been?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 03:07 AM
1

Awesome. I hope it helps!
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 02:01 PM
6

I have a daily affirmation for myself, remind myself I am worthy, and all that. I also have a daily affirmation for her; remind me of what I am dealing with: "X is a dangerous animal, nothing more. As such, she merits no emotional response from me, only the respect one affords a rabid dog. Her provocations are the equivalent of a monkey throwing its' own feces. Every time I don't react, I win. I am at peace as the Villain in her narrative."
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 10:54 PM
10

Please, tell me this is on video......
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 10:46 PM
6

We have three kids together, I WISH I could go no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 02:30 AM
3

Single dad with three kids. No issues finding women to date. Single moms are the way to go. We already have a lot of common ground. Been in an exclusive arrangement for seven months. It's not easy, we both have a ton of demands on our time, energy and attention.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:13 PM
2

15 months since mine left the family. I've been dating a pretty awesome lady for the last seven months. As kick ass as she is, as compatible as we seem to be, I cannot see getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 11:17 PM
20

Bro'. Been there. Still going through the divorce, it's been a year. It does get better. Easier said than done, but let go of the Hate as soon as you're able. Rest in the fact that you did your best and that she lives in a personal hell of her own making. Peace.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 03:34 AM
3

100% A week or two later she says she wants to 'date'. LOL. In my head I was thinking GTFO. I just say, "No, I don't think so." And yeah, the teens refuse to spend time with her. She hasn't spend anytime with the youngest for almost five months as she prefers her pimp boyfriend's company to her kids'. Fine by me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 05:54 PM
3

Yup. Super smart. They saw what was going on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 01:25 AM
6

No. They did that on their own.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 01:24 AM
7

We were out for a walk trying to "sort things out". She mentioned an alternative living situation, ie: she moving out for "a few months". While we were out walking, my teenagers cracked her phone and grabbed screen shots of her texts to her AP's. We get back from walk, kids pull me aside and show me the goods. I let things settle for a day. Play it cool. She's at work the next day, I text: "maybe we should try a different living arrangement." She stays at a friends THAT NIGHT and pretty much nev…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 10:51 PM
3

GTFO. Now. Trust me. Better on your own than this hell. Respect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 01:50 AM
9

Not blind-sided. I suspected. She bald-face lied to my face, which I hoped was the truth. Then the kids cracked her phone. Later, as we were de-constructing things, the kids remarked that my reaction to seeing the cheating texts was to nod and say "Ok".
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 02:16 AM
2

Yeah, Bro'. Once the immediate situation was stabilized (all three kids live with me), I got my ass into therapy. Its really telling that YOU feel ashamed for being abused. Good luck. I am with you in spirit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:26 PM
13

I let that shit rip. IDGAF. I had nothing to be ashamed of. She on the other hand.......
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:38 AM
3

LOL, join the club.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:35 AM
22

21 years, three kids, the youngest is special needs. She dumped the family to party with scumbags. I'm a clean-cut devoted, if flawed, family man. I don't try to make sense of it, that way lies madness.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:10 PM
2

Not your beat, not your problem. I get you're hurt, but you're wasting yourself on someone who gives zero fucks about you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 05:00 AM
2

My STBX has all sorts of health issues, primarily self-inflicted. Not my problem. It's her job to tell her family.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 04:47 AM
3

It's an ad, guys.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:01 PM
2

Get an attorney, ASAP. And into counseling. My STBXW sounds like your ex. You aren't alone. Knowing this really helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:33 AM
19

Ayuh. You left it on on the field, Bro'. Walk away with your head held high, content in the knowledge you did all you could. I once asked mine "What about me?" I was met with a blank stare. That should've been the clue to start squirrelling money away. But, I'm in a better place now. And you will, too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:54 PM
6

It's her problem, not yours. You were lied to at the front end, you're being lied to now. Go live your best life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:15 PM
2

Fucking A'. Lots of similarities minus the physical abuse. The fucking screaming, shrieking for hours, pushing every button she could find until I finally scream back and then I'm the crazy one. Fights that go on for ever, that make no sense and which never get resolved. We were having the same fights for 20 fucking years. She's an awful human being.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 08:11 PM
5

Sounds like an avoidant attachment style to me. I'd let go and move on. You are worthy of better and deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 05:05 PM
3

I'm a pleaser, too. Try this, ask yourself "What do other people need?" My guess is what they need is what YOU need. My GF and I had a misunderstanding last night. I needed to address it and talk about it this morning. So I told her I needed to talk. We talked and figured out what the problems were, where the breakdowns took place. It helps she's open to communicating openly. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 06:44 PM
10

Solid. Also, apply what you've learned: I was horrible in expressing my needs, feelings and wishes in my marriage and prior relationships. I've prioritized this in my dating relationships. If they can't handle it, I'm outta' there.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 04:40 PM
9

This word you use, 'reason', it's an alien concept to our STBX wives.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 05:16 PM
13

If she sucks at finances, that shits gonna' get worse if you guys get married, she stops working and you guys have kids. The fact you are thinking in these terms NOW, screams 'GTFO!' to me.......
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:47 AM
7

He forgot Latent Personality Disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:45 AM
2

Yup. Fortunately, mine waited until the kids were in the teens to show her true colors. My kids are smart, principled and astute. They aren't buying what she's selling.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:43 AM
3

Together 22, married for 20. Three kids, youngest special needs. She burned us to the ground by cheating on my with the shittiest people you could imagine. I put 100% into the marriage and kids that wasn't enough for her. Fuck her. I don't miss her at all. The kids don't miss her at all. Our lives are so much more peaceful now that she's out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 06:28 PM
10

Thanks. She's no fool.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 06:19 PM
59

ROFLMAO. My STBX texted my 15 year old daughter saying: "I wanted to show you my Strength by exiting a situation I was unhappy in." My daughter says to me: 'Strength would have been staying together and working things out."
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:41 PM
18

57M. I filed on her after I found out she was a ho' and a covert narcissist undergoing a mid-life crisis with a substance abuse problem layered over the top for kicks. That was August of last year. As far as the marriage was concerned, I left it all on the table and had nothing to be ashamed about. I'm a good, if flawed, man, a good husband and a devoted father. I started dating in November. Dated seven women, of various ages and degrees of beauty. I've been with the seventh since mid-February. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 12:06 AM
7

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Get an attorney. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 05:07 AM
1

Ayuh. It was all an elaborate lie....... Including to herself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 02:50 PM
25

I used to think she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. Now, I find her to be disgusting and repulsive. Yay, me. "Wife Goggles". LOL
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 01:11 AM
3

I have physical custody. My STBX is essentially living with a five time felon, drug dealer, addict who has priors for crimes against children. Unless she gives me written assurance our youngest, non-verbal autistic won't be around her POS bf, she doesn't get to see her. She's made some noise about pushing me in court, but I think she's too drugged up to actually execute a serious plan. This probably doesn't help you, OP. Just know you aren't alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 01:02 AM
4

This.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 08:51 PM
7

LOL. Say the fuck, WHAT? I've got all three kids. Two older kids refuse to spend time with her. Youngest hasn't spent time with her for two months. I have yet to see a dime of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:57 PM
3

Still working through the process. But for my mental health, it was advantageous for me to file first.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:24 PM
4

It says more about her than it does about me. Plus she decided to cheat with straight up trash. Not my problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 07:18 PM
4

I let her think it was her idea to leave, which it mostly was, I wanted to keep the family together. Anyway....... She left, never came back, I'm in the house with the three kids. Get rekt, Bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 05:40 AM
3

Bro'. I'm a retired, and decorated Federal Agent. How in the fuck do you go from The Last Boy Scout to a drug-dealing pedophile child killing pimp? LOL. Deep down it hurts a little but it's so deranged I mostly can't take it personally.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 12:51 PM
3

My teenagers and I have a running gag about their mother; "But wait, it gets worse." Her current paramour is a five time convicted felon with priors for pandering and pimping. He got charged for 10, TEN! counts of lewd and lascivious, victim under 14. Dude killed one of his own kids in a DUI a decade ago. And somehow, I'm the asshole and she's the victim.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 12:39 PM
18

LOL. Last month mine filed for a restraining order against the AP she had as she was leaving the house. Get rekt.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 06:54 PM
4

I told my teens to get her a few things, which they did. They reached out to her to tell her they were going to stop by. Crickets. She's probably in Vegas with her drug-dealing pimp boyfriend. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 12:31 AM
2

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Mine abandoned the three kids, the youngest special needs and I for street hoodlums. It was the best thing that happened to me since the kids were born. My life is so peaceful now. The kids are happier (I'm sorry you can't talk to your kids, it kills me for you.) I'm starting to recover financially. I've met a new woman who is 180 degrees from my narcissist, abusive, alcoholic STBX. It does get better. It does take time. You are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 05:37 AM
1

Overarching philosophy with the big picture in mind. What works, what doesn't work, things to avoid, things to strive for. Good examples and bad. Any trends or patterns you see. Thanks! I'm looking forward to seeing your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 02:53 PM
2

You should do a post on what works and what doesn't for us poor schlubs. I'm confident I'm not the only one who would learn some things.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:33 AM
2

Thanks. I believe I did everything I could to keep the marriage intact. I ultimately spent that energy on someone unworthy of it. I refused to be embittered as I thought that would give her the ultimate victory.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:25 AM
9

I'm 57. I filed last August after 20+ years and three kids. All three kids live with me. Marriage had been on life support for years. I jumped back in the dating scene in late October. Dated seven women and now I'm in an exclusive arrangement with an amazing lady. There's real potential. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just take care of yourself, work on being the best version of you and hopefully things'll work out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 09:21 PM
3

1) Get an attorney. 2) File first, seize the initiative.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 07:56 PM
1

C'mon, Man......
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 07:55 PM
6

I actually had the same experience with the women I was finding on the app I was using. They felt OLD. They acted OLD. I was about to chuck it in the fuck it bucket but last last match is working out, 2+ months in. We will see how it pans out.......
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 07:40 PM
8

Bro'. Our situations are so similar it's eerie. 20 years married. I was a good husband and good dad. She dumps me for a street hoodlum she met under a bridge and when he dumped her, she monkey branched to a five time felon, a drug dealing pimp. LOL. It's fucking surreal.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 02:58 PM
3

It takes time. I lost 15# from a starting weight of 156#. That was 9 months ago, I'm finally getting the weight back on. Hang in there, time heals.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 02:52 PM
2

Bro', I did 20 years with mine. Three kids. Consummate Happy Wife/ Happy Life guy. It still wasn't enough. As things were unravelling the last couple of years, I would ask her "What does success look like to you?" (Meaning what did I have to do to be successful in the marriage.). Tellingly, she could never provide me an answer. Why? Because no matter what I did, it could never be enough. Because narcissists are insatiable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 02:50 PM
8

Bruh. I've been there. I'm at the beginning of the end game of the divorce. The kids and I are so much happier. I gtg, I'll post more later. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 06:07 PM
4

Yup. Once she made her decision, she made everything fit her narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:23 PM
2

Just to be clear, I'm not judging you in the least. I'm 100% on your side. Our situations are eerily similar, I don't have the time to post the deets. My point is, as much as I, too would love to utterly destroy mine, and I DO have the capacity to do so; it's not in my best interests. This isn't out of sentiment, I'm not on the hook for her if she's financially solvent. Does my reasoning make sense?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 01:13 AM
2

Certainly not the dumbest, just slightly misguided. Once I realized what was going on with my STBX, I went full Art of War. She is my enemy in this, 100%. But in the AoW, one leaves one's opponent and avenue of escape. A cornered enemy fights to the death.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 03:34 PM
1

LOL. Mine was threatening to call CPS on me last week. Go ahead, bitch, welcome to the world of unintended consequences. She didn't call, CPS. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 03:58 AM
1

Thanks for this. Very timely for my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 07:31 PM
6

Married 20 years with three kids, the youngest special needs. The last five years before she left the house, it felt like I was a single parent of FOUR kids. So, in a word, emphatically, YES.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 12:46 AM
3

She's not hotter than my ex when I married the ex 21 years ago. But she's definitely hotter than my ex now; to quote Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 11:24 PM
5

Meh. My STBX was a covert narcissist undergoing a midlife crisis with a substance abuse problem layered over the top, just for good measure. Marriage didn't fail because of my lack of effort, I'll say that. I know I'm at my best in a LTR. It's how I'm wired. I'm in a new relationship with a really sweet woman who is 180 degrees from the STBX. Does it have legs? We are both pretty confident it does. Time will tell. Good luck, OP. I hope your path finds you peace.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 10:08 PM
2

Fucking A, right. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 06:45 PM
2

Man, that was beautifully written. You are incredibly thoughtful and articulate. You are more kind than I . My experience is very similar to yours. I've dated several women and had that same experience, being seen in a way the X was incapable of. It's really liberating, isn't it? Peace.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 03:41 AM
4

Just tell him you want to hang out. Speaking for myself, I just want to know what a woman wants. And you asking him to hang out? HUGE compliment/ego boost.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 06:26 PM
5

28? So long? Kid, get real. I'm twice your age and was married for over two decades. eHarmony worked for me. Took a bunch of tries but I've got a good one, now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 05:28 PM
1

Well. High-conflict and delusional sounds like a raging narcissist to me. She should get together with my STBX.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 02:28 AM
1

Well. It's pretty much insanity so you aren't supposed to get it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 12:43 AM
1

"The delusion is unreal." Bro'. Words fail. Mine's current BF did six years for unlawful sexual conduct. He had been charged with pimping and pandering minors for prostitution. He killed one of his kids in a DUI. She says he's a good person. WHAT. IN. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 04:24 PM
13

Prior to 100 years ago, my wife would have died in childbirth with our second, this would've been after ten years of marriage. We literally would've made it until death did us part. Ten years later, she loses her mind and abandons the kids and I for a drug dealing pimp, alcohol and the party life. *shrug* Her loss.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 10:44 PM
1

FFS, listen to your gut. "We have a child and I know, if it wasn't for him, I would never have stood this level of abuse." I gutted it out for years for the kids. I'm glad I did. Because when the balloon went up and she left the house and I filed, they knew the fucking score. They all live with me. Full time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 02:29 AM
1

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-the-drama-and-get-on-with-life/9433227/item/24587008/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=high_vol_frontlist_standard_shopping_customer_acquisition_20982170636&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=689314300486&gad_source=5&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqL6Oxa75iwMV7szCBB2LRw4dEAQYASABEgKBcfD_BwE#idiq=24587008&edition=8492266 Read this..... ..... and GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 02:26 AM
1

Yes. But it's not as easy as that. It's a fuckton of documentation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:56 AM
4

I put mine on notice a couple weeks ago if she continued with the abusive text messages, I would block her and all comms would be through Our Family Wizard. Dumb bitch couldn't help herself a couple of nights ago. BLOCK. Starts texting me from her BF's phone. BLOCK. As my therapist says, "Every time to don't react to her provocations that's a win." I win a lot these days.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:55 AM
5

They are hard to understand because it's all nonsensical bullshit. The same shit so many of us had to endure. It's classic narcissist shit. It doesn't make sense because it doesn't make sense. It's all backwards engineering of the logic to fit their own twisted reality. Get an attorney, ASAP, beat her to the punch and file first. I highly recommend this book: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-the-drama-and-get-on-with-life/9433227/item/24587008…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:46 AM
2

Reading those six steps makes my fucking brain hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 12:45 AM
21

Brother, none of her bad behaviors are about YOU. They are HER. By your own admission, you're omitting details. But what we do have is she was CHEATING. ON. YOU. That's on her, Bro'. The fact the kids were immediately over at his place screams a lack of empathy on her part for your children. Fuck her, very much. 14 year old is struggling? No shit. Her mom dumped her dad and immediately jumped in with some other asshole. 14 is tough enough as it is without this shit. It feels like you are interna…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 05:26 PM
15

Bro'. She's putting you on the back burner as a contingency. I'd GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 08:29 PM
20

Dude. Have some self respect. Stop simping. You are her trained monkey.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:22 PM
3

Initiative. When you file and are the petitioner, you've won the initiative roll. The opponent now has to respond to your actions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 10:51 PM
3

I'll keep a relationship with my BiL who's married to her sister. The rest? Getting flushed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 01:32 AM
5

You don't owe shit head anything in a non-work setting. You owe your kids your best self. You need to figure what that all looks like for yourself, champ.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 04:31 PM
3

She won't go to counseling, she told you to move out and isn't interested in working with you? Bro', do yourself a favor........
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 11:50 PM
9

Nah, Bro'. Nowhere near enough information to make anything close to an informed opinion. You're cherry-picking and making the data fit your narrative. And don't call me a simp. Check my post/comment history.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 10:53 PM
–

LOL. Good point.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 08:55 PM
3

100% I'm parenting two teenagers and a special needs kiddo' all by myself. Meanwhile she's fucking up her career and fucking a drug dealing pimp (not even an exaggeration). I have rough moments, here and there, but Fucking A', if all of our lives aren't better without that psychopath in the house. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 06:25 PM
9

I just read your original post. Don't fucking tell her. Cut ties. Fucking yesterday. GTFO. And go enjoy your life. Without her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 04:18 AM
16

Fuck no. And she has no claim to that money. It's YOUR family's money.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 04:10 AM
3

Find something new, Bro'. You're going to have to explore new interests, dig up old interests. BJJ for me. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 07:47 PM
3

Anhedonia is the term.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 07:46 PM
1

I'm up front and honest about it. I tell them exactly what's going on. I also tell them if my shit is too much, I don't take it personally if they pass on me. I've been on since late October. Had lots of matches and tons of conversations. Only a couple have said "Naw." People are so unaccustomed to brutal honesty, they appreciate it and are wiling to give me a shot. I've had dates with four women. All were great gals. The latest is head and shoulders over the rest and we are very optimistic abou…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 07:36 PM
1

Into my quotes page is goes!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 06:14 AM
12

Bro. The fact she moved on so easily says more about her than it does about you. Let it go. Let her go. Just so you know you aren't alone and I'm not full of shit, here's my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/ Here's the update: her new BF, who she started dating in August, is LITERALLY a drug dealing pimp. You cannot make this shit up. Bro. I held a Federal TS clearance for 20+ years. How you go from The Last Boy Scout to a DRUG DEALING PIMP …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 07:31 PM
3

Fuck. Off.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 07:24 PM
2

Good man. Who gives a fuck if it's 'normal'? It's fucking unfair to you. It's a form of emotional abuse, IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 02:28 AM
2

Jesus Christ. She sounds fucking Borderline and Un-Fucking-Hinged. Grow a pair, quietly hire an attorney and GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 01:36 AM
2

Congratulations!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:09 PM
3

Yes. Bro': That's unhinged. I give zero fucks about anything the STBX says about me online or in the real world. It is beneath my dignity to dig around her socials to see if she's shit talking me. The best revenge is living well. The fact she's spending this kind of energy to internet stalk you says more about her demented mental state than it does about you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:37 AM
4

Found the STBXW.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:34 AM
2

Uhhhhh........ You've found it. This place kicks ass for learning you aren't alone and support. Here's my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:14 AM
2

A gal I dated said DC was incredibly helpful. The stuff she learned she passed on to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:11 AM
8

Sorry it's hurting you, Bro'. Me? I'd do all sorts of nice shit for my STBX on V-Day, Mother's Day, Anniversary, Christmas, etc and get bread crumbs in return. Fuck her and her drug dealing pimp BF. I'm better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:16 AM
3

About a year and a half ago (a year before I was forced to file), my STBX says "We don't have anything in common, anymore!" I reply, "STBX, we have three things in common (our kids), and if those three things aren't enough, I don't know what to tell you." Well, her life isn't boring any more, living with a drug dealing pimp felon, hooked on meth. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:24 AM
6

It is fucking exhausting. I'm about to just join a hook-up app and call it good.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:48 AM
2

Fucking A, right.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 11:58 PM
8

My house runs much more smoothly. My kids' grades are better. My kids get along better. I don't dread every night wondering if I'm going to suffer another alcohol fueled blow out. My anxiety is WAY down.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 10:50 PM
5

Yeah. No. GTFO with dat shit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 10:45 PM
2

Cool thing. My STBX is dating a drug dealer. All sorts of weird shit going on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:30 AM
13

No. Just no. She's your ex wife, not a romantic interest. TF you thinking?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:03 AM
2

Bro'.....They are PSYCHOTIC.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 05:08 PM
1

Dude, it's definitely a little odd. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 05:04 PM
19

While in a text tantrum to my 15 year old daughter, my STBX accused me of kicking her out of the house (it was her idea to leave) and then told my daughter that she regretted not leaving me earlier. LOL. Complete lack of insight and accountability. Her new paramour who she got with within a month of abandoning the kids and I is a drug-dealing pimp. And that is not an exageration. His criminal history shows he's a pimp. I'm a retired federal agent and she's with a pimp. She regrets nothing. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 07:58 PM
7

She left seven months ago. Marriage was emotionally dead for a few years. I started dating a few months back. I created an eHarmony account. I've met some great ladies and had some nice dates. I've learned some great stuff from them about life and myself. Seeing a lady I really like right now. I'm friends with her mom. Long story. No clue if it has legs, but wtf, life is short.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 03:59 PM
8

Act swiftly and decisively and without her knowing what you are doing. File a police report and get a divorce attorney. You need to go full Art of War here. Appear weak when you are strong.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 03:56 PM
29

Dude. Date GF? Tf you on about, Mate? GTFO of this whole shit show. Clean your slate and move on. Also, my STBX is also an utter shit human being. She abandoned our three kids, the youngest special needs, and I for a drug-dealing pimp. I'm not even kidding.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 06:20 AM
6

LOL. After she left the house for her AP, she asked if I wanted to go out on a date. I'm like, "yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, NO."
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 08:46 PM
5

ROFLMAO. We are internet twins. Here's to you, Brother!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:49 AM
4

Thanks for that. Couldn't figure it out. Bro'. I held a Federal Top Secret Clearance for 20 years and her AP is a PIMP. She tells her PIMP she loves him. ROFLMAO.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:02 PM
4

LOL. Bro', are you me? Except mines AP (I still don't know what this stands for, BTW), is a drug-dealing pimp. I'm not even kidding or exaggerating. It's absolutely unhinged.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:13 PM
7

If this is only a couple of weeks old, give yourself a fucking break. You are still deep in the belly of the cow. It's gonna' suck. Embrace it. Acknowledge the suck, the pain, the despair. Don't try to hide from it or mask it or deny it. IME you have to get real with the pain, face it honestly, to heal. Good luck. You got this. You are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 06:10 PM
1

I'm still mid-divorce and only starting to date again. So I don't have a whole lot of data to work with, atm.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 09:01 PM
9

Married once. Kids all live with me. They know right from wrong and as flawed as I am, they see the work I put in to make myself better for them. And how their mother refuses to accept any accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:40 PM
1

The entitlement goes hand in hand with the NPD.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 05:04 PM
5

"She is going to not take a single ounce of responsibility." = Narcissist (IMO/E) GTFO. Get an attorney, ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 04:14 AM
16

Naw, Bro'. She has set you free.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 04:05 AM
5

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 12:26 AM
4

Attorney. Stat.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 10:45 PM
21

Your co-worker is a douche.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 10:34 PM
7

News Flash: She ain't ever owing any of her bad actions. Grey Rock her ass. Don't engage with her bullshit. Just address the nuts and bolts of getting the divorce done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:17 PM
1

Maybe reframe it? My life is much more peaceful and harmonious without her in the house. IDK. Everyone's situation is different.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:13 PM
8

Fuck her, not literally. Mine told a mutual friend she wanted to 'date' me, her husband of 20 years after moving out. Friend told her to leave me the fuck alone. STBX had a new boyfriend within a month of moving out. She's playing you, Bro'.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:56 AM
18

Hang in there, Brother. I thought my wife leaving after 20 was bad. I decorated our tree with popcorn and cranberries this year. Fuck all those old memories.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 10:52 PM
2

It didn't help, I'll say that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:45 AM
19

Does the "woman of your dreams" yell at you on the daily? My guess is 'no'.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 06:29 PM
13

Get animal control involved, Bro'.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 12:32 AM
4

JFC.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 12:31 AM
17

Lol. My STBX, went on a 2:30 a.m. text tirade at me last week. 50 text messages, 26 of which were 'I hate you'. LOL. Un-Fucking-Hinged. Stupid Ho' is now on a road-trip to Arkansas with her new, hoodlum, supply. I'm home enjoying winter break with our kids. Consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 08:38 PM
7

It sure is nice not listening to xmas music 24/7. Usually this schlock started the week before Thanksgiving. Haven't heard Sarah MacClachlan's 'Wintersong' or Windham Hill's 'A Winter Solstice' once. Yay. The only decorations are a pine garland with white lights around the entry between the den and dining room, a wreath with white lights with a candle in the middle as a centerpiece and a tree. The tree is decorated with white lights and strings of popcorn and cranberries. The house isn't littere…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 06:59 AM
3

Here's my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/ We are moving forward with the divorce. 100% the right thing to do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 02:48 PM
10

I just hooked up with a gal who I have great intellectual, emotional connection with. Physically, it's not there. Fuck. She's pretty fucking great, but I'm just not that physically attracted to her. I think I'm crawling back into my cave and taking care of my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 03:29 PM
8

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Get rekt, chick.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:32 AM
5

Here was the tipping point in my marriage: I called her out on her bad behavior at work. I told her she was going to get into trouble if she didn't stop a certain set of behaviors. I did this as gently as I could, from a place of concern. Boom. That was it. She stopped confiding me and speaking to me about work. Her behaviors got so egregious, I had to file nine months later. (sure enough, I was right, she was suspended twice in the subsequent nine months, including a 2.5 month suspension)
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 04:39 PM
3

That's a super good point.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 04:35 PM
8

LOL Tarot Cards. My STBX got to be friends with another imbecile who was really into Tarot Cards. Morons.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 04:31 PM
0

Filed in August after the marriage had been dead for years. I was/am lonely. Created a profile on eHarmony. It's not awesome but it's better than random dating. Most who are there are interested in something real, IME. I've cleared matches because they weren't what I was looking for and I have been cleared as a match because I wasn't what they were looking for. I've had some great interactions, some weird ones, too. IME it cuts a lot of the noise out so you get more signal. YMMV. But, yes, it's …
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:40 PM
7

Mid-life crisis + alcohol abuse + covert narcissism + adderall = Fuck you, I'm outta' here.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:55 AM
1

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:59 AM
6

100% Same with mine. But every once in a while she has to pretend.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 01:12 AM
1

Yuppers. Welcome to the club, Brother. This book has been incredibly helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 05:43 PM
10

LOL. My covert narcissistic wife with a drinking problem was suffering from a mid-life crisis. The teen-age kids and I were no longer feeding her narcissistic supply so she turned away from us and started looking elsewhere. She was increasingly withdrawn from the family, drunk every night, in trouble at work, her decision making kept getting more and more erratic. In July, I saw her about five days due to myriad scheduling conflicts. In that time she took three trips to Sacramento, two hours awa…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 08:15 PM
3

So. I went there for work a couple of time about a decade ago. Go and have a ripping good time. The working girls are doing it out of economic necessity. Going there means you may be infringing on your own values. Do what feels right to you. IME, the locals are trying to, collectively, separate the fareng from their Baht. Be smart, be gracious, don't get overly intoxicated. Have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 02:18 AM
4

Get an Attorney. Now. My STBX left me with three kids (I'm in CA). I pray she leaves the state. She does that and she is utterly fukt and the kids and I are golden.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 09:58 PM
6

I don't disagree, but my STBX never apologizes to the kids or I and is only focused on 'MY LIFE!!'. If she isn't a narcissist, she's pretty goddamn close.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:24 AM
1

Thanks, Bruv. I appreciate it. How was yours?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:31 AM
1

We live in CA. Both of our families live back East so we always made a big deal of Thanksgiving: did a camping trip the first part of the week and back home in time to make a TD Feast. I filed in August, all three kids live with me. It was rough. It really hurt for all of us. Went for a hike on TD, creating a new tradition and had a much smaller turkey dinner on Friday. We knew it was gonna' suck and it did. Exacerbated by the narcissistic Ex-MIL violating our boundaries. Whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 12:31 AM
2

I've got three kids and have re-entered the dating scene. Friend, you have to give a ton more details than you have for me to answer intelligently.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 12:12 AM
2

Bro'. Mine burned our 20 year marriage down to the ground for a street hoodlum who ghosted her after getting what he wanted from her. You aren't alone. But, my Dude. Always remember she doesn't deserve YOU. And YOU deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 07:12 AM
30

Hahahahahahaha. STBX left in July. She was always after me about the state of the house. Now that she's gone, my teens and I keep the house cleaner than it ever was with that Narcississtic Bitch in the home.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 09:59 PM
3

I'm with you. That was my life then. I was a devoted husband. Her loss. Purging all those photos takes time and energy that are better spent elsewhere. It's kind of a victory for her if I do that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 08:54 PM
8

Bro'. Let it go. Let her go. You just hooked up with a hottie. What's the fucking problem? Run with that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 01:54 PM
3

My wife of 20 left the home in late July. Oldest was starting his senior year in HS, middle starting her freshman year, the youngest is special needs. She now wonders why the teens don't want to spend any time with her. Agree, 100%, OP.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:36 PM
1

Retain an attorney ASAP. File first.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 01:54 PM
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:31 PM
14

Why waste your time, energy and money? Let it go. Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 11:37 PM
1

My teens want nothing to do with that narcissistic twat. I gotta' figure out what were gonna' do. Might go to the Central Coast (CA) and visit friends, IDK.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:15 AM
9

Bro. All this says more about her than it does about you. This is HER problem, not YOURS. Your problem is you care that she doesn't care. LET. IT. GO. LET. HER. GO.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 06:49 PM
9

Talk to an attorney. Today.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 06:45 PM
3

Bro'. My STBX is a covert narcissist with ADHD. For years I stayed for the kids. I back-stopped her on EVERYTHING. It was like I was the only adult in the house. I recently picked this book up and it is a revelation: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-margalis-fjelstad/1112446586?ean=9781442238329 The STBX's behavior and decision-making got so crazy I had to file on her. Best part for me is the teenagers picked me over her and our home is so much happie…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:49 PM
3

Cheers.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:43 PM
6

Thank you. Yeah. I found out enough to make an informed decision, i.e.: file before she did. Beyond that, I don't want to know what this crazy bitch is up to. Best part is, all the kids live with me. The teenagers picked me. The Ultimate Endorsement.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:36 PM
9

Thanks, Bruv. I'm still in the process of getting financials together to get this fucking thing finalized. Like yours my STBX lost her mind and began doing loads of stupid shit, well.......consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:20 PM
15

You don't get through to her. It's over. We aren't helping you if we perpetuate the delusion their is some hope. Bro', I love you, in the manliest of ways. Let her GO.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 11:32 PM
3

Bro'. GTFO. This is irreparable. Tomorrow, go find an attorney and file before she does.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 02:42 PM
3

Oof. Well, you're further along than he is. He's still in the belly of the cow and might not be ready to 'commit', whatever that means. He's into you, I'll say that. But after nine months? It seems like 'love' might start to get thrown around. I think you should talk to him about it, not us random idiots. But your gut is telling you something. Always listen to your gut.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:04 PM
2

I asked this in GenX a couple weeks ago, the response blew me away: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/1g3rx4u/going_through_a_divorce_need_song_suggestions_for/
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:41 PM
3

Yeah. Mine's super fresh. I've seen a couple women. I'm in a weird head-space and as a result, I'm weirding women out rn.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:29 PM
2

No, but I did apply Sun T zu's: 'Appear weak when you are strong......'
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 11:52 PM
3

Go with your gut......
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:41 PM
3

Jesus Fucking Christ.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 10:55 PM
10

Thank you. I, for one, appreciate it when women drop by.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:13 PM
4

My wife decided she needed space, leaving me with three kids, the youngest, special needs. Yeah. Ok. I filed as quickly as I could get the attorney retained.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:54 PM
2

Jesus. This is next fucking level. IMO this is the ultimate power move. If she's doing this now, what's it going to be like in five years, or ten? IDK, man. I think you need to speak to a therapist and an attorney. I, personally, feel ill-equipped to offer advice on this one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 05:39 AM
2

A lot of it did. The youngest is special needs and that really curtailed things. More importantly, IMO, she started a new career and she threw herself into that. Over the years, she spent more and more time on her job than her kids or husband. *shrug*
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:39 PM
2

Fo' sho'. When STBX and I started dating we did EVERYTHING together, rock-climbing, hiking, surfing, camping. We were two peas in a pod. Cut from the same cloth. The whole thing is so bewildering, and I think that's one of the commonalities we all share. Good luck, Man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:22 PM
1

Grey Rock. If you aren't familiar, get familiar with the Grey Rock technique.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:02 PM
13

LOL. Bro', during one of our many arguments over the last couple years, my STBX says to me: "We don't have anything in common anymore!" I reply: "STBX, we have three things in common [our three kids] and if that's not enough, I don't know what is." Guess what? They weren't enough. Why? Because her decision had been made, she wanted out and was reverse-engineering a rationale to GTFO. Good luck, Brother, your situation sounds pretty complex.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 01:51 PM
2

Same. Until I filed, her family was 100% on my side and would have pushed her to reconcile. Her best buddy for the last year+ is this nut job in a polyamorous marriage who does nothing but blow sunshine up STBX's ass.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 12:41 AM
2

Dude. My STBX got in with a bunch of women who totally encouraged her to leave me. IDK for sure, but I'm reasonably confident social media played a role in our marriage's disintegration. Not the root cause, but a role.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 10:55 PM
1

Yup. All comms via text, essentially. Can't stand to be near her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 10:41 PM
3

Christ, on High. This story keeps playing over and over again. To quote Vince Lombardi "The Hell is going on out there?!" I'm going through the same thing, Bro'. Almost point for point. Here's my rant, second time today I've shared this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 08:38 PM
1

Man, I'm sorry, Brother. I got blamed for everything, too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 02:35 PM
7

Bro'. You are trying to understand something that can't be understood. But you aren't alone. Here's mine, FWIW: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 03:42 AM
17

I didn't file to see what else was out there. I filed because she burned us to the fucking ground. I would have stayed to the bitter end.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:00 AM
1

Attorney and can you un-retire?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:13 AM
9

That's some beautiful writing. Your story is eminently relatable on so many levels. Most especially when you confronted her and defined boundaries and it was done. I did that about a year ago and that was the beginning of the end. Classic narcissist shit. You aren't alone, that's for fucking sure. Hang in there, Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 10:29 PM
4

The endorsement to end all endorsements.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 04:26 PM
3

I appreciate it. I'm in a pretty ok place moving forward. Knowing I gave it my all (and having the kids) gives me peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:47 PM
10

My wife threatened me with divorce for years. Long story, short, she's gotten what she asked for. She burned us to the ground and forced me to pull the trigger because she was too cowardly to do so. IMO/E, your wife is being pretty clear with you what she wants. I suggest doing a consult with an attorney and getting their perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:11 PM
2

Tear the band-aid off, Bro'.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:15 PM
9

Bruh'. About 30 years in emergency services/LE. She changed careers about eight years ago. I punched out 2.5 years ago to care for our special needs youngest. She got weird AF the last couple years. Drinking got out of hand, insane decision making, narcissism becoming more and more apparent. She left me, two teenagers and a special needs kiddo' so she could party with her teacher friends 2.5 months ago. I filed on her ass 1.5 months ago. Stay strong, Brother. I'm with you. We are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 01:36 AM
13

Sorry, man. Get grief couselling, stat. You aren't alone. We are with you, in spirit. FWIW. My STBX was in the ER a week ago with life-threatening BP's. I had no idea if she was gonna' make it. Hang in.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 01:24 AM
1

ty
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 07:55 PM
1

ty
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 07:54 PM
1

EA?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 07:41 PM
8

The kids cracked her phone. They found all sorts of shit from her gal pals encouraging her to leave me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 07:14 PM
1

By the end of the marriage, I realized I was a commodity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 11:55 PM
5

Fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:58 PM
10

When I feel like crying, I let that shit rip. I feel so much better after I do so.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 07:46 PM
1

If she makes it that long. She was in the ER yesterday with a BP of 220/120.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 11:44 PM
1

Agreed, in principle. The rub is the co-parenting the special needs kiddo'.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:11 PM
2

I limped shit along for the sake of the kids as long as I could. I'm glad I did because the older two now understand more. The special needs kiddo' probably understands more than I give her credit for.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:15 AM
9

Hahahahahahhahahahaha. Kick ass, Bro'. Kick ass.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:45 PM
3

I got the last bit as well. Special.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:43 PM
10

I had always been painted as the Villain. I asked my teenagers the other day when the last time I blew my stack at them was. They told me I haven't lost my shit once since she left the house. Hmmmmmnnnnn.........
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 02:15 AM
1

Yup. Stopped giving AF.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 11:20 PM
3

She stopped watering the plants outside.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:23 PM
4

Contempt and silence for me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:22 PM
2

ROFLMAO. Thanks for the laugh!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:11 PM
9

Thanks, Bruv. I'm in the belly of the cow right now and I'm kind of fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 12:07 AM
2

Rant away, friend. We are Brothers In Arms. Here's my rant: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:40 PM
3

Same, except my teenagers don't want to spend ANY time with her. They are also totally on board with being frugal as we sort things out, financially. At the end of the day, I think we're gonna' be ok. And I started dating an old friend, who I like a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 07:32 PM
1

Thanks for sharing. Good reminders, all.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 03:44 PM
21

"Who literally abuses someone and then says all this stuff." A Malignant Narcissist, that's who. Let it go. Let her go. You are doing yourself dirty by holding on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 02:19 AM
6

I was speaking to our GP as shit was crashing down on me. She tells me: "STBX is telling you something but you aren't listening." Me (I interview people for a living.): "TF you talking about? I'm a great listener!...... But what am I not hearing?" GP: "She doesn't want to be married to you anymore." Me: ............. My wife left me with three kids, two teens and a special needs kiddo' so she could do what the fuck she wants. Bro'. Let it go. Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 01:24 AM
4

LOL. I did that and now we are getting divorced. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 09:24 PM
2

Listen to your gut. If it's saying 'run', then you'd best run.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 01:30 PM
4

Is it a flaw? The desire to love and nurture? Just choose better. The rub is, at my age, mid-50's, everyone's got baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 01:20 PM
13

I have no social media other than Reddit. I'm pretty confident that SM didn't help in the collapse of my marriage. I wasn't on, but the last couple years, my STBX was constantly on her phone......
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 01:33 PM
6

Send them my way. I have no social (except reddit) and I'm getting divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 01:32 PM
1

Thanks, Brother! Oh, yeah. It's ALL my fault. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:54 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ff9g2k/fuck_you_im_still_standing/
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 07:28 PM
3

Married 20, together 22, three kids, youngest special needs. She'll be with me until I die. I retired from a six figure Gov't job to be primary care provided to the youngest as STBX had started a new career. I'm a good man, a devoted father and a good husband. I'm fit, look young for my age and have a life/work resume any woman should be happy about. Lots of similarities between our situations. Most importantly IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. She's been drinking heavily for years which has worsened h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 02:22 PM
1

Bro'. Are you me? Except I like paragraphs.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 02:12 PM
1

We are still early on in our divorce. My 17 and 14 y/o don't want anything to do with her and haven't spent any time with her since she left the house two months ago. They are old enough to make their own decisions. They have agency. The only right thing she's done in the last year and a half is to no force herself on them.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 02:08 PM
1

Welp. Sounds like your husband is a piece of work. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 02:04 PM
1

Dude. What is with the narcissistic mothers turning their daughters into their Mini-me's? STBX was doing the same to my daughter. Once the truth started coming out and daughter got a more full picture of things, she's all "Helllllll, NAW. I'm staying with the parent that puts me and my siblings first."
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 01:49 PM
2

LOL. Our daughters should get together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 01:46 PM
9

Initial post and all the comments resonate so deeply for me. I was a devoted and loving husband and father with a six figure income and retired to be primary care giver to our special needs youngest. What did I get in return? A wife who had no regard for me or my emotional experience. SO. DONE.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 06:27 PM
10

Bro. I was talking to my 14 year old daughter the other day. I told her I would never get back together, like, ever, with her mother. Daughter: "I would never forgive you if you did." It's gone, Bro'. Let it go. Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 10:20 PM
7

My teenagers cracked her phone and found the evidence of her multiple extra-marital affairs. Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 05:37 PM
2

Thanks, Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 11:12 PM
3

Bro'. My shit's a walk in the park compared to your situation. Hang in there, I'm with you in spirit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:29 PM
3

Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. I'm glad I could help in a small way. Peace, Friend.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:27 PM
3

I posted my story yesterday. I've been limping shit along for the kids for the last couple of years, all to no avail. I filed a couple of weeks ago.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 08:12 PM
3

As this shit was breaking with her I was reminded of the Blaise Pascal quote: "All of humanity's problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone." I have a fairly robust meditative practice. I don't think she can sit a minute with her thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:36 PM
12

"Everything will never be enough for them, they always want more." This resonates so deeply. I couldn't satisfy her and the goal posts kept moving.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:52 PM
9

I have to communicate with her because of the youngest who spends weekends with STBX. None, whatsoever. That's why I moved so quickly once I figured out they lay of the land. No need to muck about with a lost cause.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:48 PM
4

Fuckin' A, right.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:23 PM
3

'Let's give these children more credit.' I was telling a family friend how the STBX was spreading the story I had turned the kids against her and the STB-MIL had bought it, hook, line and sinker. Friend says "Has she MET your kids?! No-one's been able to tell your kids what to think since they were five."
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:20 PM
3

'And she absolutely betrayed the kids with this affair.' 100%
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:17 PM
1

Exactly. STBX took our youngest to meet the street hood paramour. This insane decision-making was the worst part for my older daughter. She just can't reconcile that decision with reality or good parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:16 PM
2

From day one I've told them I want them to have a positive relationship with their mother. But they have Agency and they decide what the parameters and timeline are for healing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:12 PM
7

Yup. To some degree I helped create the monster. I did so much behind the scenes she took it for granted and stopped appreciating me and my efforts. Her privilege and entitlement appeared to get worse over the years, in part because I embrace the suck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:11 PM
6

It's fucking unfathomable the bizarro decision making........
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:09 PM
5

Dude. The person I fell in love with is fucking GONE. And I have no idea who it is who replaced her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:03 PM
2

TBD. I have physical custody. She moved out, kids live with me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 09:02 PM
14

100% Venting here is part of the letting go.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 08:21 PM
7

If she's texting you back, I don't see what the problem is, it's mutual. If your ratio of texts is about even, I think you are fine. Go with it, just don't get too far over your skis.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 01:24 PM
2

LOL. Were we married to the same woman?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 09:42 PM
2

RIght? I retired young from a prestigious six figure government job to care for our special needs child. I have a decent fledgling business, I'm fit, look young for my age, my older kids love and respect me. I'm pretty well regarded in our community. She hoed out with a street hoodlum. It's incomprehensible.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:29 AM
12

Quality of Life >>>>>>>> $ Every. Time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 11:11 PM
1

It's 4-5 'drinks' per bottle of wine. 4-5 drinks a night qualifies as 'binge drinking' per the CDC. Yes, the kids and I stop interacting with her after about 7:00 pm because she's erratic, argumentative and unpleasant. But she's out of the house now so life is much better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:59 PM
1

"mean and hateful" Yeah, that's about right.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 06:46 PM
6

My wife's been downing a bottle of wine+ a night now for years. I've confronted her twice about it and was threatened with divorce twice. In March she started taking adderall, uses THC daily and another anti-depressant and didn't back off her ETOH intake. Surprise! Her behavior got even worse, her decisions more bat-shit. Surprise! I filed two weeks ago.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 01:25 PM
11

“I just want to be myself and not have to change who I am. I just want to do what I want to do without being criticized” Ah. So have your cake and eat it, too. Not how marriage works. Essentially same deal for me, too, OP.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 10:55 PM
2

I get it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 04:25 AM
5

My teenagers are ready to tear her shit up. Go to trial if you dare, chick.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 01:31 AM
5

I had a drink by myself a bit ago at the bar. It was nice.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 01:09 AM
1

LOL. My wife's Bestie through all this shit is this chubby bitch in a weird poly relationship. Like this is gonna' end well for all these assholes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:43 AM
23

I knew something was up. So did my teenagers. They took it upon themselves to crack her phone. I love my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 04:23 AM
5

Similar pattern for us. But my teens, 17/14, took it upon themselves to crack her phone. They got the goods. Now they will barely talk to her and I have the house. Filed on Friday. Hang in there. Get help, Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:56 PM
2

I wish I'd started squirreling money away as soon as I felt that tickle in my gut. Do it. Do it yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:11 AM
1

That hurts me for you, Bro'. Crazy thing for us is the house runs so much more smoothly with her gone. The teens get along better, too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:18 AM
3

Bro. I'm just a little bit ahead of you in the process. I filed a couple days ago (I have a 17, 14 and 9 y/o. The youngest is special needs). The last two months have been, as you say, crushing, as I've tried to decide on the correct course of action. I lost 15 pounds on a small frame, I'm down to 140#, FML. I now have clarity, but break down a couple of times a day. We were married for 20, together for 22. You might be blessed in that your kids are too young to remember much. Good luck, Brother…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 10:54 PM
5

Thanks, Brother. It's all about the boundaries, isn't it? By 'Grey Rocking' her and limiting our communications to text, I am so much better off.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 10:31 PM
18

I was the "Happy Wife, Happy Life" guy. I back-stopped her on everything. Guess what? It wasn't enough. She's a covert narcissist having a mid-life crisis and here I am with three kids, the youngest is special needs. She's been out of the house for a month and the house is cleaner than it has been in years because the kids now help because they know what's expected of them. I'm no longer relying on someone who is utterly unreliable. The kids get along better because there isn't this maelstrom of…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 09:37 PM
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