Well fellas it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. Hope you all are hanging in there. I posted here quite often back in the day and figure I’d give the update no one asked or cares for. Mostly for me to get some thoughts out, maybe offer a little advice for those starting the process.

My divorce started over 3 years ago. Ex wife drug it out for 2 years. Been officially divorced a year ago. I did a lot of self reflection and worked on myself these last couple of years. Started working out, which has fallen off a bit self admittedly, started doing MMA (recently got back into it and god I missed it), did therapy, started my bachelor’s, started dating an amazing woman, and most importantly focused on my relationship with my son. Seriously guys, work on yourselves before doing anything else. You will feel better.

My ex wife did the same story you see on here over and over. She had an affair with another man. A ton has come out recently and it’s honestly amazing what she has put herself through all for I don’t even know what, to prove a point?

I never thought my ex wife would be the kind to cheat, and when I found out it destroyed me. Sleepless nights, stomach aches, throwing up, begging, pleading the whole nine. Never let yourself be torn up by a cheater, they’re not with it.

Well, it turns out about 2 months after our divorce, she married this dude. She went to another county and got married to hide the records from her parents and I assume me, which I don’t even care. She has caused such a mess in her own life it’s unbelievable. She kept the house, refinanced it at an over 8% rate. It was a double wide. She’s now moving it to a dump town to live with this guy. Which my ex mother in law said the damage on the move is going to be about $70K. All in all I figure this mobile home is going to cost her about $450K once it’s all said and done.

She stole about $30K from her own mother under false pretenses using my name to do so. Which her mother now knows.

And the kicker of it all? Her own mother told me that my ex wife had a stipulation to move in with this guy. That stipulation was he had to go to rehab. This is the guy she chose to have our son around half the time. The guy she hid her marriage from her own parents. This guy still won’t show his face around me. I see him parked outside my kids sports events. He cracks his window and looks at me and waits until I leave to come up to her. He sits in her car like a bitch until I leave to do anything.

From what I hear is his own ex wife won’t even let their kids be around him. Yet she again, chooses her own wants and needs over everyone else’s. Including what’s best for the kid.

As for me, my life from the outside looking in sucks. But you know what I have? Freedom. A great relationship with my son. A great girlfriend who supports me and enjoys me for who I am, and not the money I bring home. Or what I can buy her, because honestly, I don’t. I look out for me, my kid, and our interests now. I have peace of mind knowing I am coming home to not get bitched at, but watch the game in peace. Or have a beer with dinner if I want. I can have my framed posters of attended concerts on the wall that I had to keep hidden in a corner of a room no one went into.

For those of you starting this journey. It sucks. There will be hard moments. You’ll cry. You’ll have moments of rage. You’ll hurt. Then one day, it’ll hurt a little less. Then you will wake up the next day and it will hurt again, for weeks, months, maybe more for some. Then one day, you’ll smile. You’ll feel a little joy. It starts to hurt less. You can get up and do things again. Do I still have work to do on myself? Hell yeah I do. The difference is now I have a second chance to do it. A second chance to be who I need to be, for my son, and for myself. Not for someone who shit all over anything I did and treated me like a walking ATM.

This may be my last post here. The chapter is finally ending. Her life is a mess. But my life, it’s just beginning. Hang in there guys. Be strong. Be the man you and your family need. I may pop in from time to time to lend advice when I can. And if any of you need a person to vent to, I’m a message away. Take care and good luck to all of you.

Edit: Her parents also know about the affair now and what all transpired. I kept it from them but they figured it out and had asked me if I had ever noticed anything. I couldn’t lie to them.