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Zealousideal-Let1344 Archive

View 7 posts and 64 comments by Zealousideal-Let1344 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

I couldn't tell you that there was a single breaking point. It was a long slide. The first issue was a lack of sex or any kind of physical closeness for over a decade. Then our son graduated from University and got a job and moved out of the house so it was just the two of us. And then I was approaching retirement and realized that I was going to have to spend the rest of my life with somebody that was basically a roommate. That's when I initiated divorce proceedings
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:27 AM
5

It was amazing how many opinions I got from my ex about what the outside of the house looked like, when she rarely went outside except to get mail out of the mailbox. It took us 6 months to replace the carriage lights on the outside of our house, because she needed to find exactly the perfect lights that fit her aesthetic. I could have picked out something in 60 minutes. But no she had to have it perfect and I bet she looked at them maybe five times in the last 10 years of our marriage
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 06:15 AM
3

Well it's going to be different for everyone. For example, for me, I'm not interested in another relationship ever. I have so much life to live in so many things I want to do I really don't want the time myself down with somebody else that requires too much of a compromise. So, given that context, what is so great for me is that I get to do whatever I want. I can go anywhere I want, I can do whatever I want, I can change plans at a moment's notice. And I don't have to answer to anybody,. And mos…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 04:38 AM
1

Yeah, not dating.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 06:38 PM
1

I have definitely lost weight post divorce. Because I can eat what I need to eat and don't have to take anyone else into consideration. I can work out whenever I want to work out and not have to sit and watch television shows with somebody else. And honestly, I drink a whole lot less than I used to, which means my resolve to avoid bad food is not weakened as much as it used to be
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 06:40 AM
3

Sorry, I didn't read past the post title. If you cheated, you've lost all the moral High ground.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 05:00 AM
8

Yes. I go to a bar I get drunk with some guys we all complain about women I get my fill and I go home
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:04 AM
2

Actually, I would have felt better if she was having an affair. Turns out she just wasn't interested at all
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 09:29 PM
5

There are simply some people for whom they're libido completely tanks. And it's not because they fell out of love, or because they are angry at their spouse, or because of past trauma. It's simply that they aren't interesting more, they're not ever going to be interested in anymore, they don't want to be interested anymore. Or maybe they never really were interested but just went along with it and Order to find a partner. Which is not necessarily a conscious decision just something they feel the…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:26 PM
2

Yes we did. No she didn't. No I didn't until near the end of our marriage. We couldn't reconcile things. So then I asked for a divorce
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:23 PM
3

Yeah, I got banned from that subreddit before I got divorced because I was bitter and was being obnoxious
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:22 PM
2

I have made new friends who are divorced and they are just asking
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 09:07 PM
4

Thanks for the help. I'm not dating though. This is just for general questions from acquaintances
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 08:50 PM
1

Let it go, it's not your problem
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 05:18 AM
3

Yes. I hadn't had sex with my ex for more than a decade when I got divorced. But it wasn't just the lack of sex. It was the lack of affection. I rarely got hugged. The only kisses I got were pecks. I NEVER got a full passionate open mouth kiss. If I ever touched her in a sexual way she pulled away. She always had space between us in bed. I lost weight, gained it back, lost it again. Didn't make a difference. Because of this, I just fell out of love with her over time. We were roommates and co-pa…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 05:11 AM
2

Honestly, I'm not that close with my son. We are very different people and I haven't had a very good connection with him since he became a teenager. Part of that is probably my fault where I had unrealistic expectations about being a dad. But honestly he has been much more close with his mom than me for a very long time. In my opinion she has somewhat coddled him although that's not particularly a fair assessment. He has some ADHD issues which she spent some time accommodating. My point of view …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 05:17 AM
4

Actually, no I was the one to initiate the divorce. It was because of a lack of affection due to her losing her libido. Which of course led to her pretty much not wanting me to touch her at all ever again. And then that led to me falling out of love with her. It's a little more complicated than that but that's the basic reason
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 05:12 AM
5

I understand your point of view. Thanks for your opinion. I admit there's some bitterness on my side so that's probably part of my reaction. I'm still not going to go. I spent most of my life doing what she wanted to do and getting nothing in return. I don't hate her, but she can ddeal with this on her own. She certainly seem to have an opinion about how exactly she wanted everything done on her own even where we were married so I'm not sure what I can do while I'm there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:25 AM
4

Come and stay near the hospital for a a couple of weeks while she is being treated.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:16 AM
2

My son and I aren't close but we do have a cordial relationship. I'm certainly willing to help out on occasion but I'm not going to upend my life to take care of her 24/7
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:14 AM
6

There were hurt feelings. We did go to marriage counseling. The basic difference was that she said she still loved me she just didn't want to be physical. And I said that I had fallen out of love with her because she didn't want to be physical so I didn't want to be married to her anymore. And she said that she couldn't change.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:12 AM
2

He's 25 and has a life of his own. His mom basically held his hand through college and getting a career. So he's closer to her than me actually.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:01 AM
6

I'll admit to that. But I think I deserve to be selfish after a decade or more of no sex, no kisses, no hugs.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:44 AM
6

The technical reason for divorce was " alienation of affection" . We hadn't had sex in over a decade, which also meant that I didn't get to hug her or kiss her either.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:43 AM
1

Sorry. I was stuck on the phrase in the title "Aged like milk"
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 12:45 PM
-10

Can anybody translate this for me because I have no idea what the hell he's talking about
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:40 AM
2

Six kids eh? They know what causes that now! You should look it up!
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 12:36 AM
6

I got divorced because of a dead bedroom for over a decade My wife being gay wouldn't have made a difference
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 04:18 AM
1

He's an adult. He was just out of university when we got divorced
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:11 AM
1

I'm not a fan of my ex-wife. But I'm not this low class
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 11:57 PM
5

Stopped having sex for the last decade. And none or limiting kissing, touching, cuddling
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 11:50 PM
1

For me it was when our son was grown and out the house, and we were close to retirement. Suddenly she had nothing else to focus her time on. We had been in a sexless relationship for at least a decade, and she wasn't interested in fixing that. She was quite content in being just roommates with a shared history. We talked about it and she said she would work on it, but nothing happened. When I said I wanted a divorce of course there were tears and Promises to work on it, and marriage counseling a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 12:57 AM
2

Hey I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood and I was being a jerk. Traveling alone is not really a stigma if that's what you're worried about. Don't be afraid to ask for help from Airline employees and hotel employees. They are in the service industry. Despite what you may have heard most of them are very very helpful. Other than that, I would give the same advice to anybody who is traveling. Don't try to pack too much into one day. Plan on attending a few specific locations, but leave time to just expl…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 12:02 AM
1

I guess I'm a little confused by this post. Even when I was married I traveled a lot by myself for business or personal reasons. What is your concern?
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 04:27 AM
13

Honestly, I don't date. I will have short relationships, one night stands, etc. But it's just not worth it to get into a relationship anymore. After 20 years or so I just want to do my own thing. I don't have a need to have somebody else with me. As a guy in my late fifties I'm perfectly happy doing my own thing and connecting with women on an occasional basis.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 04:24 AM
1

STBX?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 03:34 AM
1

Single Women have kids because Dads don't want to take care of them. I know a lot of very beautiful women who are not at an ideal weight. And why do THEY need to cook and clean? Why can't you do that? I think these women you aren't dating aren't missing anything
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:04 PM
1

Yeah, my son had issues and my wife supported him over everything else. He turned out well. But we will never know if he would have turned out the same if he had gotten a "kick in the pants" the way I wanted to do it. But then, all her energy went into him instead of us. So I guess, evolutionally, it worked. Even though it contributed to the dissolution of our marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:07 PM
1

Well, I have very limited contact with my ex, except through my adult son. But, through him, we are aware of each other's lives.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:10 PM
2

Yeah, the original observation was that people felt these 5 different emotions when grieving. It was a hack author who put them into a linear progression for a self help book.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:03 PM
2

I'm lucky that my ex didn't pull any stuff like that. I think that she had probably been preparing for a divorce all her life since her dad left her mom for a secretary. If we didn't have an adult son then I wouldn't have any contact with her at all but of course children always complicate things
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 09:13 PM
2

You are allowed to cut your losses in this case. You're not a bad guy. It just isn't going to work out for the two of you. You don't have to be a white night and try to fix everything.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 03:13 AM
1

On occasions yeah, she shows up in my dreams. But seriously I fell out of love with her years ago so it's not like I have a ton of regret
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 03:11 AM
3

I think that marriage is worth it. But the idea of being married to the same person for the rest of your life is not. Seriously, many people completely change their personalities throughout their life. If you put two people into that mix, what is the chance that they are going to change in ways that are complimentary to each other? Probably not great. I think that we should look at marriage as a temporary companionship for a decade or two, with the understanding that we will move on to others at…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 06:15 PM
1

Depends on how drunk I am. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 09:47 PM
1

One of the best replies so far, thanks
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 09:47 PM
0

I'm sorry dude, but if you really want someone to commiserate with you, you need to keep your post to under five sentences. I really don't have the patience to read through this wall of text
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 12:17 AM
3

Well, Define sex. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 12:04 AM
3

I'm not sure if I've always been bisexual. But mostly I'm just lonely and horny. It's hard when you're in love with somebody and they recoil from your touch. If another guy wanted to give me physical contact I'm so hungry for it that I would jump at the chance.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 11:58 PM
2

Honestly, there's a certain appeal in being groped and kissed by a guy when my wife recoils from any attempt at physical touch or kissing
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 11:55 PM
5

Lol, Point taken. Let me file that away for a future use!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 11:53 PM
2

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 05:40 AM
2

I'm sorry, I really don't have a whole lot to offer on this. I actually like being alone. I enjoy being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it however I want to do it for as long as I want to do it. Being with someone else in a relationship just puts too many constraints on me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 05:23 AM
5

Honestly, I was just so burnt out with relationship stuff that I didn't even try to date. Yeah, I had a few one night stands. But I'm not looking to get into a relationship ever again
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 05:08 AM
12

Well for me it was when our son finally graduated from college and moved out of the house. All of the energy she had expended into him was gone and so I thought that we could finally reconnect. But she didn't want to. The lack of sex and kissing and hugging and any physical intimacy continued. So I left
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:39 AM
3

EMIL??
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 04:34 AM
3

Man, I don't really have any close friends. Meaning that if I wanted to go out and see a movie with somebody, there isn't anyone I could call up and ask if they want to go out with me. But that's okay cuz I really prefer being on my own. When I want to be around other people then I go to one of my hobby groups and enjoy time with a bunch of people together. And then I get my fill and I'm good for another month or so on my own
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:38 AM
3

I'm sorry, I love being alone. If I want to be with people, I go to a bar. Or I look up one of the meetup groups I'm part of. I get my fix for a period of time, and then I'm full.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:14 AM
2

"Love" is what you feel now. It is not an accumulation of shared experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:10 AM
7

It was after our son graduated from university and moved out. I started putting more effort into us doing things together. But she was having none of that. No movies were worth the ticket price. Stores were too crowded. Restaurants were too busy, and food wasn't worth the price. She did like to travel. But that meant taking 10 tours a day and coming home more exhausted than before we left. When I pushed back about just wanting to relax by the pool, she went off and did her own thing. Which I was…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 05:56 AM
7

Eventually I was the one who brought it up. After our son graduated college and got a steady job and moved out, we had a pretty good heart to heart. After a very short marriage counseling session I decided it was time to leave because she wasn't going to change
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 02:26 AM
2

Good for you! While I admit I don't always lead a completely healthy lifestyle, I certainly have lost a lot of weight since my divorce. I also find that I'm drinking a lot less. I put that down to less stress, and not having to squeeze in exercise amongst all the other stuff that my ex needed me to be doing
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 04:11 AM
1

I don't think this is a problem with women. I think this is just how things happen when people fall out of love. When you are in love with somebody you are willing to overlook all their idiosyncrasies and the stuff that would normally drive you nuts. But when you fall out of love, all of a sudden those idiosyncrasies become non-negotiable items. Then the issue is, what did one partner or the other do that cause them to fall out of love. For me, it was when my wife stopped wanting to have sex. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:24 PM
3

I reckon that most of us got married because we fell in love. But over time that love was replaced by something else. For me it was when my wife decided she didn't want to have sex anymore. And then of course that meant we didn't hug or kiss anymore because that could possibly lead to sex. And of course then I stopped loving her. Why would I be in love if I got absolutely no love from her? And then all of the idiosyncrasies and stuff that I could have compromised on seem to be not worth it anymo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/24 03:11 AM
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