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_uCanDoBetterBrO_ Archive

View 3 posts and 262 comments by _uCanDoBetterBrO_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

It’s all a negotiation unless you two can’t eventually agree and then the judge will decide for y’all based on applicable laws. You’ll eventually end up at 50-50 but sounds like you’re gonna need a lawyer to help get you there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:15 PM
2

Yes unfortunately she’ll likely be entitled to the market value / appreciation. My state has a formula to divide the appreciation of mixed / commingled property but assuming that the majority of the increase had occurred during your marriage it’s best to just split and be done yes, life is much better now which is why I suggest getting all this behind you asap because prolonging the process over 10-20k isn’t worth the time lost
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:46 PM
1

I’m in a separate property state and owned the home before marriage, she got half the appraised value. You’ll probably be able to set aside the premarital down payment but “non commingled funds” is tough assuming it was money earned and spent during the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:30 PM
1

It takes as long as the two of you can reach an agreement. If the house is marital and there’s not a ton of retirement money to fight over then it should be fairly straightforward
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:20 PM
2

Your marriage is over, get the settlement done as fast as possible. Sorry bud but I promise life gets a lot better
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:09 PM
2

if she could the judge would just split the proceeds whenever they make to court anyway
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 10:57 PM
9

I see you’ve met my ex’s coworkers.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 11:41 AM
7

She made me fight for custody.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:00 PM
3

Well I agree with you that people should be free to make whatever life choices they want but choosing to tear your family apart shouldn’t be incentivized by a system that basically provides a winning a lottery ticket for making that choice. Putting religion aside, marriage is just a contract - all I’m saying is I don’t feel that the person choosing to break that contract should be rewarded for doing so - at least not without a trial to determine fault. I survived my divorce relatively well but h…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 06:07 AM
2

I’m convinced that a few hundred years from now when kids are reading about the collapse of our society in their history books they’ll be reading about how “no fault divorces” played a sneaky yet significant role in the demise of America.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 05:08 AM
10

In my experience it actually made things worse to try and fix the issues. One example was her complaint that she’d come home from work (school teacher) and then have to do chores / clean house etc which was also her stated reason for why she was never in the mood for intimacy. Easy fix! She came home to a spotless house with dinner in the crock pot with nothing for her to do but chill..the result was “ohh you expect me to have sex with you just because you did things that you should have already…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:46 PM
4

Buddy is biting into a lemon thinking it might taste like an apple.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 06:17 AM
2

Mine said a whole bunch of reasonable shit until she moved out. Her attorney had her expecting primary custody with child support, half my premarital home and half the ridiculous valuation they came up with for mine and my father’s business. She made me fight for every damn thing including time with our kids. Who you married is not who you go through divorce with. (if she was you probably wouldn’t be getting divorced) Let her ass sit in an apartment, usually after walking up a few flights of sta…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 06:06 AM
3

Mine filed and moved out then trial was almost 2 years later and she still gets half of the home I owned before we married.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:15 PM
3

It’s more likely that the court would have a gal or friend of court investigator who talks to the kids and then writes a report for the judge. I had to fight vehemently against it because the assigned FOC was the opposing counsels law partner’s fucking wife. Suure buddy I trust she’ll totally be fair. What a shit show family court can be
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 05:46 PM
1

Just frustrating for me because I owned it before marriage and the dang state statute says that increased value of premarital property based solely on market conditions isn’t considered marital but here I am splitting it all down the middle anyway. What a shitty contract
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 05:30 PM
1

Law in my state (Ky) says she isn’t entitled to half the market gains of separate property (KRS 403.190 b (e)) but guess who’s about to have to sell their fucking home to satisfy the settlement agreement because to refi at today’s rate would cost more than the fucking settlement. This guy. Guess we’ll see who goes where and what happens with the kids schools because neither of us can buy in this market
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:55 AM
21

Bring back at fault divorces, if she can prove you’re at fault then fine take half but if it’s a “I’m perimenopausal and fell out of love” situation then she walks without her fucking winning lottery ticket. I’m close to losing a home I owned before marriage because mine wanted us to “find people who can love us the way we deserve to be loved.” After 20 fucking years together with two kids under 10. This shit is broken
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:46 AM
3

And if they got married and she did this 10 years later the fact that he owned the home prior to marriage wouldn’t fucking matter because any money earned during the marriage regardless of who earns it is considered “marital funds” and if those “marital funds” are used to pay the mortgage which obviously they will be then your “separate property” becomes “commingled” thus it is now considered marital property divisible in a divorce. You can argue to have the premarital portion excluded as separa…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:39 AM
3

Bro stepping on a landline would have been her doing this to you ten years from now with kids and a hell of a lot more home equity to fight over. Mine also told me that she couldn’t love me the way I needed to be loved and that I should thank her for leaving when I found someone who could. This was her parting words after living together for 20 years and being married for 10 with 2 kids under 10 which she eventually made me fight for. So she actually emptied the house and took the fucking pets w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:20 AM
2

Mid life crisis = sudden realization that you are halfway through your expected life span and may not be as happy, successful or fulfilled as you thought you would to be at this age so boom you decide to make some big life changes. Menopause = I woke up madder than a honey badger on a pint of moonshine and someone in this house is catching all this smoke cause this anger is surely someone else’s fault and the second they give me the slightest chance to let loose they’re catching all of it. And i…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:14 AM
11

Menopause. Men need to pause and learn about this shit. She may turn into someone completely different around 40 years old than the 20 y/o person you married.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:03 PM
3

I’m 41 and divorced for 6 months, these divorced women are easier than 19y/o girls on spring break and they fuck like they’ve got something to prove. It’s been a pretty awesome perk from an incredibly stressful life event that I don’t want in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 09:49 PM
9

You think texting the guy who’s knowingly sleeping with another man’s wife is going to make a difference? Do you think he doesn’t know about you already? Your wife is buying lingerie to wear for another man bud I’m so sorry this is happening to you but you have to face reality. Level up in every way possible so that when their relationship blows up you’re so far past her that it won’t matter how much she begs to come back. Would you want her if she did? You deserve better, hop on YouTube and sea…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:11 AM
5

You got the aura now work on the rizz and you’ll be set lol. Awesome success story man, thanks for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:26 AM
3

Went through exactly the same thing, I kept asking her to get a hysterectomy or talk to her dr about it but she couldn’t because that would be an admitting she was part of the problem. Which was / is impossible for her to do. We never resolved anything after the blow up fights and would just slip back to being normal a few days later. It can definitely become a toxic cycle but she had to be willing to acknowledge her part or it’s hopeless to solve on your own
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 05:15 PM
5

They hit you in ways you would never expect, might wanna tread lightly bud
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 04:58 PM
3

Been in this sub for 2 years, the pattern is undeniable
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:12 PM
1

Hell of a user name bud.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:07 PM
3

They don’t leave a 5+ year marriage with kids involved on the chance / to go find out if there’s better, she either has someone in mind or is possibly already involved. Her uncertainty about separation vs divorce is her monkey branching (look it up) she’s not confident enough to let go of one branch while trying to hold/gain a new one. The only thing to do is make that decision for her and snatch that branch away. Ask yourself if she told you today that she changed her mind and wants to work on …
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:03 PM
2

Same, I used to say it was like she was an alcoholic the way she refused to acknowledge what was painfully obvious for me. 20 years down the drain and split time with my kids so she can go be happy..which sure ain’t materialized in the 2 years since she left
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 04:45 AM
1

Your state has statutes that should provide some clarification for you but honesty it’s all a negotiation and what her attorney tells her vs what your attorney can convince hers to tell her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 01:12 AM
1

It’s nearly impossible not to commingle separate property into marital due to any money earned and then spent during the marriage is considered marital funds regardless of who earned it or whose separate account it went to. You could have a separate premarital account that you never contribute marital funds into and still face losing any growth that occurs during the marriage. Talk to an attorney in your area, I could be wrong! Also, once the divorce begins get it done as fast as possible, prefe…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 03:37 AM
1

Wasn’t dumping on ya bud, sorry if it came across that way. He could potentially negotiate out of it based on how much she’s getting in the settlement, he could get her to acknowledge her earning potential and ask to have it imputed etc. My ex drives 40 minutes into the country to teach but could drive 25 minutes the opposite direction into the city and make nearly double the $ but it’d be inner city vs country kids.. I presented this as evidence and (she’d texted me that as her response when I …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:59 AM
2

Bro please don’t just assume dudes on here who tell you things like “100 percent chance etc” know what they’re talking about or how it will play out for your case. Everything from who your attorney is vs hers and who the judge is etc will come into play and none of us have clue what the real details are. Run it by your lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 08:44 PM
2

Not always true, judge saw through my exes lies when she attempted to take full custody. She scheduled it for trial but didn’t just automatically approve the “emergency petition” which would have been the easy / safer thing to do based on my exes allegations at the time. So experiences definitely will vary based on a ton of different variables. I think having an experienced female Judge who’d likely seen the recently separated woman’s playbook attempt plenty of times, she simply wasn’t buying th…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:50 PM
1

Especially on THE MORNING OF THE TRIAL IME
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:35 PM
3

Plenty of good men willing to accept a woman with kids who wrecked her family? Good luck but you can count me out, dating these women is fun and easier to get laid than spring break in college but as far as settle down or start a life with? Nah
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:04 PM
1

She won’t “be decent” she’s got an attorney promising her she’s entitled to the fucking moon with zero repercussions for being wrong because he’ll just blame the Judge.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:48 PM
8

Looks like we must have responded at the exact same time, OP pay attention! This is exactly how mine played out. If your business would cease to exist without you in it and you’re not sitting on a ton of (valuable) inventory that was purchased during the marriage then you’re gonna be happy with how this plays out. Hell i’d be real tempted to take out that business loan I’d been considering / needing for operating expenses..especially since she’s not filed yet and everything is still “marital”…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:42 PM
2

I said similar repeatedly while going through it but fortunately get to say “for as much as she EXPECTED to get, I’d have divorced me too.” Makes me feel like a damn lottery ticket waiting to be cashed, what woman is going through the misery of menopause and working while being tempted with a life altering sum of money just to burn her family to the ground.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:29 PM
15

I was in a similar position and we successfully argued that I AM THE BUSINESS AND I ain’t for sell. Thank heavens for the garage mechanic who successfully argued to the Supreme Court that without his talent his business wouldn’t exist giving me the precedent to successfully argue the same! My ex left thinking she’d be getting close to 500k from a home I bought before marriage and business I built without her (not to mention full custody of our kids) I was damn worried too for the 18 months it to…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:22 PM
2

Amazing and sounds a hell of a lot more fair than the shit deal I got. I was informed that money earned and money spent during the marriage is considered “marital funds” and if those funds reduce a premarital mortgage, she now gets a piece of your property proportional to the length of time etc.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 05:58 PM
2

Atta boy, ya did good, warms my heart to hear it. Maybe if divorce wasn’t a lottery ticket waiting to be cashed there wouldn’t be as many wrecked families today
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 03:51 PM
2

Wow that’s fortunate, in my case I owned the home prior to marriage and have another 4 months to come up with 70k or sell and split..the difference would likely be another 40-50k to her if forced to sell. I’m in knots trying to get her funded
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 03:47 PM
2

What do you mean Judge unable to split a house?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 03:44 PM
1

Mine kept blaming her lawyer for all the shit she was doing as if I’m too dumb to realize that an attorney wouldn’t just file for sole custody etc without consulting her lol I’m like be an awful person as much as you want but don’t hide and try to pretend your actions aren’t your own. Thankfully she keeps failing - two failed contempt filings and a custody battle (she had the audacity to ask that I only have “supervised visits” after 20 fucking years together) because NOW that you left I’m a dan…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 02:15 PM
3

It’s been my experience that the kids not only won’t latch onto other men, they will actively sabotage the relationship (for both parents).. you wanted this hun 🤷
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 01:56 PM
5

Exactly how mine went, “settled” the morning of our final hearing which had 4 hours set aside for it. They put us in two adjacent “conference” rooms just outside the courtroom and the attorneys went back and forth until we finally agreed. I swear id still be there today if I hadn’t, I kept saying “welp guess we’ll see what the Judge says” but ended up getting a reasonably fair agreement so 🤷
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 12:19 PM
2

I’d probably charge a lot of money too if I were in the business of destroying families every day but then again I’d never choose that path. It takes a special kind of asshole to coach a perimenopausal bitter woman through a sworn affidavit in an attempt to steal kids from a loving father. I’m sure the money is great but so is going to bed at night knowing the work I do is a benefit to society instead of the opposite. I reported everything to the Bar for my state but have no way of knowing what …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 04:57 PM
3

If I had the deep pockets required I’d sue em all lol! In my custody case the opposing side had HIS LAW PARTNERS WIFE appointed as the friend of court investigator! In what world would anyone think that’s fair or acceptable?? It was also going to cost 2,500 each. (I spent 2 years as a CPS investigator- trust me I don’t fit the criteria for someone undeserving of shared custody.) Then MY lawyer used the upcoming custody trial as leverage to demand a 3k payment that I just simply had no way to pay…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 04:17 PM
3

It’s helpful to remember a lot of the time, especially in small towns, they may be “opposing counsel” but they’re basically co workers who will be dealing with each other long after your case is resolved so they basically just put on a show of “fighting” for you. Once you’ve seen behind that curtain there’s no turning back, it’s infuriating really.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 07:16 AM
12

My lawyer commiserated with me about all the crazy shit my ex was doing and how ridiculous her false claims were that led us to an emergency custody hearing and then trial etc and you know what he did? 5 days before the trial he emailed me an invoice for $4,500 and said if I wasn’t paid in full he wouldn’t be able to represent me at the hearing. Fuck it’s been a shit 2 years and still going!
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:00 AM
1

Ky - I only owned it for 2 months before marriage so “marital” l the fuck o l money was spent to reduce the mortgage therefore she is entitled to the market appreciation. What a shitty contract Marriage is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 10:53 PM
2

Problem I had was the Judge can literally do whatever they want so learning the relevant laws and statutes was pointless for me and buddy I spent a LOT of time researching. This was primarily regarding a premarital home I own but am still having to “buy out” her share of and if I’m unable to within 7 more months I’ll be forced to sell and split it with her. It’s all such fucking bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 10:48 PM
3

Depends on finances and how much that extra 1,200 matters for you. Like I said it’d be a no brainer for me if my best friend lived near and wanted to be roommates for a year or so
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 04:50 PM
6

From my perspective it’s a no brainer man go for it, I had to post a room on a travel nurse site but didn’t meet their criteria so just been toughing it out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 04:25 PM
1

Truth will always prevail in the end. Mine tried all kinds of dumb shit but as stressful and difficult as she made things the Judge didn’t just blindly accept the false accusations. Still cost a shit ton in attorney fees to fight and she’s now pivoted to manipulating the kids but I feel strongly that this, like so many other things she’s done, will only backfire against her with time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:18 PM
16

Lawyer, therapist. gym, stoicism.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 06:27 AM
16

I say it all the time, “the person you married is not the same person that you go through divorce with.” After everything she put me and the kids through during the divorce I look at her now and don’t even recognize the person I spent 20 years with anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 11:34 AM
2

It’s also their job to get you the best deal possible and these family court attorneys keep score. I’ve been in his wife’s shoes and was similarly upset when my ex eventually figured out what half really meant and started asking for it but after some time it sinks in and you get over it, she will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 11:55 AM
2

This guy gets it! I’d only add to perhaps looking into /study stoicism, it’s helped me a ton, not just with her. For those of us who manage to eventually escape the anguish and stress of it all to then channel that into success, our lifelong glow up is blinding in comparison to their temporary happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 05:43 PM
3

Thoughtful answer, I’d only add it helped me to begin studying stoicism, start with YouTube and if it fits then order the books.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 03:42 PM
6

Mine went to the first session with me and when the therapist asked what she hoped to accomplish she answered “I’m just here to help him understand it’s over” lol after supporting this person 20 years and having two little children that’s her response. Stay stoic kings, there’s better out there for us and sometimes just being alone and banging a few single moms when the urge hits is better than being trapped in an unhappy miserable marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 01:44 AM
2

Been separated for 16 months after 20 years together, our final hearing is in 18 days. I look forward to letting go of this strange feeling of this not being real or permanent so I can actually move forward with my life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 07:25 PM
5

Yep and then you get home from the date and cringe at how you trauma dumped on this poor stranger but hey, they asked!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:16 AM
2

Hey man I’m in a similar situation except I owned the home for a few months prior to marriage. People on here will advise you but I highly suggest that you speak to an attorney because every divorce is unique. In my state any equity gained after separation / divorce is filed is not considered marital. There is also a statute in my state which says that appreciation of premarital property which is based on market factors alone and not the result of any improvements = not marital property and is n…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:52 AM
3

You’re killing it bud, family law attorneys are a joke
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 03:53 AM
2

Mine put me through similar with the false allegations and CPS etc. it’s like they don’t even realize that the two of you have a decade or better of history with zero abuse or any issues as a parent but now that they’ve decided to leave NOW you’re abusive and NOW you don’t deserve joint custody of your children. Thankfully the Judges and attorneys who see this crap daily don’t automatically buy whatever she’s selling. It’s still expensive and exhausting to go through, fuck
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 03:55 AM
5

Some of y’all obviously make more money and have less time to spend researching state statutes etc but for anyone who is interested in potentially representing themselves I highly suggest downloading chatgpt and/or ChatBox ai. These programs can and will write better motions / responses to motions than your attorney. Don’t trust it? Back test it against things you’ve already had pay an attorney to respond to… these bloodsucking attorneys won’t be relevant in another 5-10 years and I am fuckin he…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:12 AM
5

Yaaaaasssss King! No potato, no veggies, no rice and no salad, just meat with a splash of low sodium dale sauce, tall glass of ice water or occasionally a glass of wine. Glad to know others are livin right!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:29 AM
0

Bro many women are led by their emotions and their hormones play a big role in their emotions.. not to scapegoat anything but it kinda sounds like you’re getting a glimpse into how she is during her uhh cycle thing or whatever I dunno I’m no doctor but I definitely lived the jeckyll and Hyde rollercoaster enough to be wary..it’s the “out of left field” tearing you to pieces that makes me suspicious, see if things don’t change in a few days
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:12 PM
2

Wish I had the answers bud, good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 11:44 PM
3

Dude, petition to have joint custody
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 11:09 PM
13

She wasn’t wrong, you’re strong and you’ll be ok. You sound like a fuckin champion bud, don’t rush it but some chick is about to hit the lottery when she finds you
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:23 AM
4

Similar boat bud, I regularly watch YouTube videos about “women hitting the wall” (sob stories of women who expected to be on top of the world following their decision to nuke their family) but they realize that being a 40 + yr old woman trying to date isn’t what they’d hoped for lol. Any man that would either sleep with a married woman or take in a divorced one that has ripped apart her family because she was “unhappy” isn’t one I’d be keen to shake hands with.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:39 AM
2

The negative feedback loop in my case was I could obviously feel her withdrawal and would get upset (lonelier with her than without her) which she would then use to justify withdrawing further but I’m pretty damn sure I was just playing into exactly what she wanted minus ever giving her cause for the silver bullet divorce I now suspect she was trying to accomplish.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:10 AM
1

🫡
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:33 PM
5

Ohh so she feels the need to show you pity which is pretty much the opposite of attraction. I don’t know anything so take this with a grain of salt bud but I’d say she’s gone and likely has been for a long while, grieve this as quickly as possible and thank her releasing you when you find someone who cares about you the way you deserve. To treat you this way after 21 years of marriage is cold as fucking ice man but you’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 10:22 PM
5

The level of nonviolence in this comment makes me feel like something may be wrong with me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 04:51 PM
5

Mine was my secretary for two years during the pandemic after our family owned daycare (she’d been the director at) had to shut down and the day I told her that I didn’t think keeping her reliant on my other company (where she was bookkeeper) was wise for our family and that she should pursue being a teacher - especially since she has 70k in student loans just to qualify for it. She got a job teaching and has pretty much hated me ever since, next 2 years and up to now have been and continue to b…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 05:02 PM
2

Filed an affidavit full of (easily proven) lies about my parenting of our children in an attempt to take full custody of them costing me thousands of dollars to dispute and ultimately prevail ending back up at 50/50 shared custody. Also had her sister call CPS to bolster her case - CPS report found her allegations “unsubstantiated.” All of this was the result of my politely declining to switch a few days with her over Christmas break so she kept them from me and then did all the above to justify…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 04:49 PM
2

Depends on your area but for me it’s been: bumble, fb dating, tinder, hinge, match, stir.. in that ordet
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 01:03 PM
2

We’re on the same trajectory bud. I truly believe she’ll come along when the time is right, wish ya luck
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 03:14 AM
1

Dude same, it’s been like fishing with dynamite these days. Shits wild man they send nudes without any prompting, sex on first date is almost always happening and they fuck like they have something to prove. I’ve been having a lot of fun lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 03:11 AM
13

Been doing the 50/50 shuffle for 14 months and it ebs and flows man, you’ll adjust. I will say that I’ve found that my 50% of the time is a hell of a lot better though. It’s focused and fun and I use my days alone to plan for our next adventure, it’s been pissing the x off royally that we are constantly going places and having a blast but without her here to shit on any spontaneous fun, we sure get into a lot! You’ll be good man just find things to help get through the hurt when it hits (working…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:01 AM
2

Separate property state? You might share more assets than you think you do.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 08:50 AM
6

Bro! The quick chats every Friday just to check in and see if there’s anything new to discuss were NOT just him being a caring and friendly person like I thought. Each one itemized to the fucking minute, what a gross way to make a living.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 03:05 AM
8

The person you go through divorce with is not the same person you married. Her attorney will advise her to do some foul shit and her “friends” will reinforce her victim mentality and make her feel justified to take more than she ever deserves. Sorry bud it sucks but things do get better with time
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 05:00 AM
7

I thank god regularly that my incredibly smart 9 y/o daughter has been able to put the pieces together. She’s the only thing saving her younger brother from being totally brainwashed and will regularly correct his obviously corrupted lies/behavior. The best test I’ve found (and I’ve dove pretty deep) is to ask your child (assuming they’ve begun refusing, outright lying or acting like they don’t want to be with you) is to ask them why and then ask if you could change everything they list as issue…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 05:10 AM
5

Such a weird place to be in hoping your partner of 20 years finds a new dick so she’ll chill the fuck out about trying to financially destroy / cash out of the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 05:17 PM
2

Dude if you know she’s going to try to keep the kids from you then you’re fucking up to not at least consult with an attorney. I thought mine would be cool because the person I married was a tie dye wearing, pot smoking cool ass chick but after she spoke to an attorney she all of a sudden decided I was an unfit parent who should only get supervised visitation..LthefukOL.. 5k later and we have shared / 50/50 and are currently seeking therapy for the kids because she manipulates and uses them as s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 05:24 AM
1

We’re starting this schedule next week after a year of 2-2-3, how is it having them mid week? I feel like I won the lottery that she agreed to forever have Monday Tuesday because who the fuck ever enjoys a Monday
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 04:15 AM
2

Sorry man I have no words. Time to live for yourself I suppose
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 04:08 AM
1

Counselor asap and gal if you’re still working through the divorce. The longer she’s able to poison them without intervention the harder it’ll be to undo. Mention therapy for them and her response should be telling
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:00 AM
5

Think he meant why would SHE do that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 11:02 PM
2

My experience is the court couldn’t care less as long as the two of you agree - having separate legal representation helps because it eliminates the possibility of uninformed decision making. Play nice, talk her into it as the best interest of the kids (bc it is) and get it done asap. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 11:00 PM
1

We are two people living through the same bs. I have exclusive use of the home and she can’t enter without written permission(granted because she always wants to argue with me during exchanges) I bought the home before marriage but due to the laws will have to still pay her out but am in no hurry to settle it because 1. I can’t currently afford to and 2. It’s in the best school district for my kiddos and keeps them in the same school they’ve always attended. 3. Fuck her
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:52 PM
5

Also two happy houses is better for the kids then one full of misery and conflict. Hard to see right now but in 6-12 months it’ll be better
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 01:51 AM
1

Mine claimed the kids were having “crying and shaking fits lasting up to an hour everytime they returned to her from my care and had been for approx 8 months..” it was including the 8 month part that fucked her because she’d never once mentioned anything about these “fits” and we use a parenting app. My therapist said to step back and think about it from the shoes of someone who’s kids are returning to them and having these emotional breakdowns, what would you do? I said i’d be hounding her to f…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 10:45 AM
1

Well I’m pro se now because my ex went through a little “you don’t deserve to have the kids anymore” phase that cost me around 5k just to end up back with shared custody but I’ll prevail with the property settlement one way or another. Ky actually has 2 different formulas based on previous cases that can be used but I prefer to settle this thing and move on with my life if she’ll agree to a reasonable #. We shall see
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 07:57 AM
4

I’m in the same boat but after a year now we’ve settled into coparenting 50/50 and the time I have with my kiddos is soo much better than during the marriage. I can tell them to do something and they do it without arguing or running to mommy who would always question me and we’re free to go on adventures 2 weekends a month which they’re always game for. I’m starting to love it now that we’ve adjusted
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 07:47 AM
2

and in many cases every cent spent is also marital so if you owned property prior to marriage but paid for it with funds earned during the marriage you’ve now “commingled” separate property into marital property (nearly impossible to not do since all $ is marital) you won’t believe what happens next!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 06:53 AM
1

I’m in ky and there’s conflicting info, some says yes others say no.. I’m just hoping to settle with her so we can move forward and I keep my home for the kiddos, I’d never be able to afford this home today or another in their school district.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 05:46 AM
1

Hey real quick, and no offense intended, FUCK you
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:15 PM
1

How about appreciation of property owned before marriage? Does she get half of the appreciation
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:09 PM
3

My experience as a semi successful man approaching 1 year now out of a 20 year relationship (10 married) is that the women who’ve been dating for a while try to make me commit and delete the dating app we met on etc. sometimes after only a few dates.. what I’m saying is not every dude on here is gonna have the same results based on their own value and the market they’re playing in. Where I’m located the pool of midlife divorced moms is seems to be never ending tho 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:58 PM
2

Buddy I’m maybe 6 months out from posting my own success story very similar to yours, I’m genuinely happy for ya! Our stories are quite similar in the parenting time without her being a blessing and now focusing on business and spending time doing what we want. My only current issue is my stbxw becoming increasingly furious as she watches my glow up when she expected the opposite but as you pointed out, we are the prize! If we weren’t then it’d be US who stood to gain more from the divorce than …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/24 04:33 PM
1

Have you dated many of these divorced moms? The majority I’ve met have little else to bring to the table and it likely took being alone after destroying their marriage before they even realized it so they are likely just overcompensating but I’m no expert just my observation from the last 8 months or so. Nurses and teachers as far as the eye can see around here
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 02:02 AM
10

Same and once you start to feel that the sex you do get is just obligatory the resentment starts to build and the arguments get worse and the less she gives even the obligatory sex and then you stay irritated even when she does put out because it’s not actually about connecting with your partner and mutually enjoying each other and one day BOOM she tells you she wants a divorce. You then try to convince yourself that losing your family is worse than being in a loveless relationship but there’s n…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 11:33 PM
3

Much better but hearing it now doesn’t feel real but I and many before you can attest it gets so much better
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 02:57 AM
3

Well in my case not the mediator but the proposed “friend of court” happened to be a family member of the opposing counsel lmao I can’t with this family court racket
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 11:04 PM
10

Fuck I didn’t need this right now. My day is coming buddy been separated for the last year and received from her attorney yesterday what they’re asking for. I couldn’t afford a 1/4 of it and still maintain the house I bought before marriage and intended to raise my children in. The sense of failure is overwhelming, rent anywhere in the same school district would be the same cost as my mortgage. I get why men would leave to get cigarettes and never be seen again. Fuck every part of this
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 01:55 AM
1

Praying this is how it goes
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 06:45 PM
1

Of course $ earned during the marriage was used to pay the mortgage, my research has shown that it’s damn near impossible to NOT “commingle” separate property to marital. However I’m not sure she is entitled to half of the (inflated) appraised value vs half of $ actually spent to reduce the mortgage. A difference between 25k and 100k. I’m just trying to keep my home I’m not trying to screw her but I’m fucked in this market if she’s awarded more than I can afford and still keep the home.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 04:06 AM
8

Mine went psycho when she realized the control she’d given up by leaving and I discovered that parenting without her is a hell of a lot easier and pretty awesome to be honest. Had to weather a storm of false allegations, a ridiculous petition to limit my parenting time to “supervised visitation” and a CPS investigation that I easily disproved but we’re back to square one with shared 50/50 custody. I’m lost on how to handle her ongoing attempts at alienation but I’ll prevail eventually. Hell my 8…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 03:54 AM
1

Hope everything works out for you bud
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 03:57 AM
1

Wtf are you me??
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 01:07 PM
6

I’m the same way about “narcissist” buuuttt it was her calling me one that led me to look into it and after countless youtube videos and counseling sessions.. you’d never guess what happened next!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 01:53 AM
6

I’m the same way about “narcissist” buuuttt it was her calling me one that led me to look into it and after countless youtube videos and counseling sessions.. you’d never guess what happened next!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 01:53 AM
2

Feed em fuck em leave em alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 12:03 AM
6

1st - 2 weeks is nothing. 2nd - don’t leave the house or let her leave with the kids 3rd - you are the man, you don’t look to her to provide the “exact position of your relationship” YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE DEFINING IT. 4th give her more time and space than you would ever expect and then add another month. 5th she’s lost attraction for you, try to get back to whatever/ whoever you were that initially attracted her but do it for yourself. If /when she says she wants a break/space do not argue or be…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 03:33 AM
1

The quit claim
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 12:54 PM
3

Preach king! It becomes obvious to anyone paying attention that family court lawyers are just playing a game to keep their clients at odds and to extract as much $ as possible. It’s gross. I back tested ChatGPT to answer the petitions my ex filed, comparing them to my attorney’s responses and damn if Chat didn’t do a better job than the best and most expensive family law attorney in my area. I’m pro bono now
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:48 PM
1

Shit, how could I forget Hinge! It’s been the most consistent for beautiful women for my area anyway, but bumble seems to be more popular, nah I usually pay whatever the subscription is
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:42 PM
1

Bumble, fb dating, tinder, stir, match - in that order
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:35 PM
1

ChatGPT does a better job at writing / answering petitions than you ever did ya (former) scumbag.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:50 PM
4

Nah I actually love and enjoy my children, I offered my stbxw reverse child support (ie I’d pay her for more time with them) she didn’t take it.. getting laid is easy - been burning through these 40 y/o single moms likes it’s my job..but dammit I would trade anything to have more time with my kids and we’re currently 50/50. It’s a weird feeling to be hoping your partner of 20 years finds a man so she’ll lose interest in your kids 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:47 PM
2

HELOC or second mortgage - quit claim
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:38 PM
4

Any man worth a shit is screening this divorced women, I try to get laid at least once before I’ll entertain their shit about how abusive and narcissistic their ex is then it’s ✌🏻👻
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:22 AM
10

I dunno dude, separated doesn’t equal divorced but I feel you and am in a similar boat. Mine left but is now bothered that I’d be dating after 9 months of separation and zero attempt on her part to reconcile.. these bitches are crazy and will hit you from angles that you never see coming or would expect.. good luck
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:04 AM
6

BROOO the fuckin TikTok’s are crazy I swear it’s some long term conspiracy from china to erode our country’s foundation in some way lol. Mine stayed watching shit on there and if you ever check any of it it’s toxic as fuck filled with women just living the single mom dream soaking up child support and the never ending “narcissistic abuse survivor” talks.. I could rant for fucking ever about that shit. Ugh - I should add there’s also tons of videos of women who didn’t get nearly what they were ex…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 08:59 PM
9

Water is wet and the sky is blue..we all signed a shitty contact gambling everything that they’d never betray us and that marriage meant forever just to find out, as 50% of us do, that it’s not. The system encourages women to destroy their family and cash out of their marriage. It’s gross
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 04:02 AM
2

How long has she not worked, is she able to? Kids?
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 10:49 PM
11

Silence, leave her the fuck alone. If you think it’s serious start preparing yesterday and contact an attorney. Money that you spend right now will be considered marital, credit debt will be used as part of the settlement, go get ya something nice. Sorry bud, been there and it’s hard but you will be better off sooner than you could ever imagine. They check out long before they decide to tell you. Counseling is a long shot in my experience but I’m sure it helps some couples. Don’t give up on your…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 10:42 PM
4

Those “I miss you” texts turn to nudes FAST lol dating has changed soo much in 20 years but I’m here for all of it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:51 PM
3

Destination wedding that shit and never make the paperwork legal in the us 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 10:07 PM
1

1,000% this. Love to see that other men have found and are spreading this knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:09 PM
3

“ buy time and carefully plan an exit with a more favorable agreement” wisdom speaking that only comes from experience
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:17 PM
-1

Hey man I’ve been working out and recently started drinking protein shakes as well as creatine, it’s made a big difference in my fitness…except for these ginormous turds..I was thinking about trying to fish one out and stick it back up my ass later.. sound like a good idea? It’d be no worse than the bs you’re considering. She’ll never take blame, quit waiting for an apology that’ll never come, did you not get the memo that everything is your fault? Yes you’re missing you’re missing your kids, “t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:00 PM
1

1,000% and to anyone reading this thinking there’s no way YOURS would do any of this..SHE MOST CERTAINLY WILL IF GIVEN THE CHANCE.. download a free recording app and record every interaction to cya. You’re not reading this by some random chance. CYA
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 03:28 PM
1

Like she’d just bit into a turd sandwich and washed it down with lemon juice…. but she made it for herself and she knows it so can’t blame me so she’s exxxxtra upset
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:03 PM
1

She’s a country music fan - Wheeler Walker
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:57 PM
2

Brooo are you me? Mine is salty about not being able to manipulate me now that EVERY COMMUNICATION has to be through the parenting app. I’m like nah chick if it ain’t on there we never agreed nor spoke about it. Never realized how much she manipulated me, I always described it as “set me on fire and blame me for the heat.” And she hates that she’s lost that ability, just got the “exclusive use” order last week and I can’t describe the look on her face when she fist came to my house afterwards (a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:54 PM
1

Only if there’s a status quo order in place which a lot of times the stbx s lawyer will know to file with the initial paperwork. Also, the fuck they gonna do with a contempt order? Genuinely curious I’ve been threatened but don’t see much to fear other than a pissed off judge
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:47 PM
3

Nah mine took 6 months, y’all thinking it takes years to bounce back need to get a fuckin move on it. We get one shot at this life, be damned if I’ll waste another minute
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 05:51 PM
1

Beautifully said, I remain grateful for the insightful comments/ responses I find on here. That being said, men going through separation and hoping to reconcile you MUST go no contact, give her what she thinks she wants, the sooner the better. Look it up on YouTube. Good luck fellas
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 06:17 PM
2

Thanks for that quote, I’ve added it to my list directly underneath one of my favs I put beside her name to remind me in moments of weakness during the early / greyrock days of our separation- “if your absence doesn’t make her miss you, your presence never will”
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 08:20 AM
7

“Go change your tampon and get back to me, hopefully you’ll feel better”
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 12:40 PM
10

Right at the end of my marriage I was actively turning the second floor of my garage into an adu / office conversion and told her if she was just needing space that I’d be willing to stay out there while we figured things out. I was willing to do anything to not split time with my kids and face having to sell the house. Now, 7 months separated and settlement pending, she’s 3 miles away in an apartment that costs nearly as much as my mortgage. Furious because I learned what grey rocking is and ha…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 12:56 AM
2

To anyone in the future coming across this thread, it all comes down to the judge and who has the popular attorney. It’s fuckin family court they do whatever they want
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:53 AM
1

Buddy I think you and I would get along just fine having a few beers around a campfire sometime. Good to know there’s others out there who understand / have been this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 01:45 AM
1

“They create the drama and then point the finger at you.” I FEEL SEEN!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 12:05 AM
2

Should be half hers bud, double check your state laws.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:36 AM
1

Only the ones taken out during the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:30 AM
2

Lemme just add that you may consider ramping up your credit card usage, maybe buy some things that you have always wanted or been waiting to get. Your debt is hers and hers will be yours, Just a thought
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 03:29 AM
1

The more you force yourself or at least pretend to not care.. the more you actually begin to not care. All with the added benefit of this being the strongest move you can make when you’ve been discarded. The dumper always assumes that they can get you back because..well they dumped you but when you act like you’re unbothered and don’t beg/plead with them then you can be seen in a new positive light as they start to question their decision. I dunno, that’s it in a nutshell, get on YouTube and sea…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 01:26 AM
5

Yup, you get it. It’s like they don’t know how to be loving anymore so they (maybe unconsciously?) choose to settle for ANY reaction which shows that you still care, mine is such a trip because SHE left me and now she’s biggly mad?? It’s fucked but after living it for a few years I in a strange way can understand it. The response I get from my non reaction is SO much better than when I’d be angry it’s as if she’s embarrassed, because when one acts how mine does, they should be.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:36 PM
3

YouTube is your friend here but in summary she gets no emotion from you, only indifference. I noticed two things when I employed the technique 1. the more you work to intentionally “don’t care” the more you actually quit caring and 2. The person who has spent years pushing your buttons will actually get more upset by your non reaction than if you flew off the handle. Results may vary but this was my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:24 PM
9

I don’t think I’ll ever get this satisfaction but it warms my heart to know you and others do!
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:36 PM
4

When I learned it was coming I had my attorney accept it on my behalf, I was never served. I’m in a relatively small town and made it known I’d be extremely unhappy for my neighbors to see a sheriff car show up at my home. People are less aggressive than you may expect and this shit is just family court where the rules are made up on the fly and differ daily depending on whether the judges wife is keeping him happy at home or if he has his coffee the morning he gets your case. 🤷‍♂️ I hate this s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:33 PM
3

Don’t use cash are you crazy? Charge every penny possible and then some from here until the settlement is done. You will use this debt to offset any other assets like home buyout or retirement etc.. they’ll ask for the last few months statements for all of your accounts but will likely be a few months before you reach this stage (in my experience) if you want something now is the time to buy it using a cc (within reason) good luck dude.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:28 PM
5

1,0000000% this… mine (10 yr married 20 together) just two weeks ago filed some bs about my inappropriately showering with the children. - custom wall to wall / 3 shower heads, it’s a big space and I wouldn’t in a Million years have guessed we’d end up here. The person you married is not the person who you will face in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 05:42 PM
1

1,000% this, if she has an attorney advising her then you sure as shit better have one as well. However if she is willing to try counseling then go for it. Whether it helps or not is anyone’s guess but I’ll tell ya that it helped me in more ways than one. (Unexpected things like he knew the best attorney to speak with and MANY other tidbits that have helped tremendously.) No one regrets a few good counseling sessions though they can get expensive
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 12:05 AM
2

When I first saw the “value” she’d put for my business I told my attorney to ask hers if she’d be interested in buying me out for that amount lol. When they go cold they go sub fuckin zero man it’s ugly
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 01:28 AM
3

My man! That’s fuckin beautiful, brings a tear to my eye and warms my heart to hear. I’m in the neighborhood of 75k and her biggest debt is her (premarital) student loans, lmao nah hunny that ain’t me babe that ain’t me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 01:08 AM
1

Totally agree 👍 Shit if I saw it coming and hadn’t been served yet I’d think hard about taking out a loan, buying any and everything I wanted on credit cards etc.. with every asset and every debt being marital, the more debt you have = less home buyout etc towards her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 01:03 AM
2

Yea with a 40 employee company you’ve for sure got a lot more at stake than myself lol I’m splitting hairs to reduce my income by any and all means. I would think if no one knows about the receivables and a person can afford it then they’d be fine to wait on cashing/depositing it. It’s family court not criminal, ain’t no body investigating anything unless your spouse is an ass and can afford the fight 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 12:54 AM
2

So maybe you make a little less on paper but the company is now paying a few extra bills for ya.. I mean the electric, internet, cell phone, even a trip or two to the grocery are used for business purposes anyway right? Fuck all these “take everything I didn’t help build” women and the shithead they find next
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 12:38 AM
0

Can we please agree to not use the word commingle here? It triggers me and I don’t feel safe..
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 03:32 AM
1

Thanks I hate it
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 02:57 PM
2

They mentally check out sometimes YEARS before we catch on or understand what the hell is going on. Mine was right at the 10 yr marriage 20 years together mark. I did a “google takeout” on her search history (sue me I don’t care what anyone thinks) and there it fuckin was! Over 2 years of searching “when will home prices come down, what do I get in a divorce if my name isn’t on the title/mortgage, how is child support calculated..etc” All while our arguments were typically due to me feeling negl…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 02:48 PM
7

You, I, WE are the prize.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 08:36 PM
2

I dunno man, it’s been surprisingly easier than I was expecting
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:05 PM
1

Yep now go (reasonably) run those credit cards up. You’ll use this debt to offset your buyout # because unfortunately for her, right now everything is still marital..ie you spend 5k on a cc that’s 2.5k (her half) that you can use to negotiate a smaller buyout #. Good luck man this shit sucks
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:18 PM
2

Gotcha, just wanted to let you know because you’d mentioned the house being solely in your name. I spent a lot of comfortable months assuming that because I’d bought my house a few months before we married and the deed/mortgage is solely in my name that she wouldn’t be entitled to any part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 02:11 PM
4

You’ll find conflicting answers but in my state, regardless of who signed what, the money you spent to pay the mortgage during your marriage is considered marital funds .. thus commingling separate property into community. Try to fix it if you can or want to, there’s a lot I enjoy about being single but nothing justifies splitting time with the kids for me
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:56 AM
2

bumble by a long shot, share it or don’t nobody cares just look decent and if you don’t then do better at looking decent
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 12:21 AM
2

Dude it’s like 20 bucks give it a try, I was getting really discouraged before I found it. It’s a gold mine (for my area anyway) happy hunting
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:57 AM
2

Special only because they have the power to make you split time with kids and sell a home you spent 10 years making your own. I’m dating these divorced moms with a fucking vengeance
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 01:38 AM
3

Dude bumble is the truth, I was on fb dating, tinder, match, and uh others..before I found bumble and holy shit it’s legitimately a game changer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 11:58 PM
1

Dude don’t forget to ask for consideration of your VA no down payment contribution, it may not work but I’ve never had a bad experience pointing out my vet status and that’d be a slick way to do it. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 10:16 PM
12

Boom. You covered it all, get money, get fit, get a youngin and never sign a shitty contract with someone who has more to gain from breaking it than you do. Op it’s been 7 years since your life went to shit because of her..I suggest it’s time to move on buddy
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 12:39 PM
2

Buddy I’m no lawyer but I have paid a shit ton of money to a few and I have to say that what you just said doesn’t make any logical sense, sound like anything that would happen in real life, or be something a judge would allow or actually enforce. Run this scenario by your/an actual attorney if you’re honestly concerned about but you shouldn’t be. She’d probably be able to start cs payments after waiving them for a few years but asking for back pay from time where she’d agreed not to is ridiculo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 03:59 AM
4

Listen man, this shit is family court not criminal. Nothing is written in stone. My state calculator had me paying $900, we agreed through lawyers on $300. Nobody gives a shit about ANY of the terms (why would they?) as long as both of you agree. It sucks but play nice with her as best you can until shit is in writing. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:54 AM
1

Buddy, how much is your current mortgage payment? I’m gonna say 1,000 a month. You’ll split 6k equity (10k at worst) L the goddamnfuckingshitdumbmotherfuck O L. Or get fancy and add ask for consideration of your Va no down payment requirement, I did, have fun. I mean cmon my guy have you any idea how easy this will be for you compared to most of the dudes on here? I just fukin can’t - worried about 6 months the fuck outta her soldier do some fukin push-ups
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 12:26 AM
2

Everything you’re feeling and dreading right now won’t be bad as you think. If there was a lot of conflict between you guys your daughter will be better off in the long run having divorced parents. Maybe you both take time apart and come back together stronger after some self reflection and work on your own. Best of luck to you, I know it ain’t easy
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:27 AM
2

Don’t rush anything as far as court bullshit/asset division, let her ass push all that. If you want to keep her go no contact. Focus on being the best dad and version of yourself you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 01:52 AM
2

Will she be able to buy a place in the same school district? Mine got an apartment near by so that they could stay in their school but she will surely realize that she can’t afford a home on her own in our area before the lease is up. The new boyfriend is a hard pill to swallow man I can’t imagine how hurtful it must be. If mine left because she has someone new she’s far more sneaky than I could imagine, I deep dove into everything and couldn’t find evidence but from where I’m sitting it’s the o…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:45 PM
1

No he used the Zillow estimate to calculate worst case scenario #s for me so I could lose some sleep and sprout a few more grey hairs lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:10 PM
1

If you’re asking me, “they” is my - supposed to be the best in the county- attorney but I’m beginning to have doubts
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:59 PM
2

My attorney said there’s no way they would agree to the tax assessed value vs an actual certified appraisal. Also any money made or spent during the marriage is considered marital money so it’s literally impossible to not have your property considered “commingled” without having a prenup or something similar to protect your assets. I just feel so hopeless and defeated by it all
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:38 PM
1

Yes my attorney said that regardless of whether it’s only in my name the money spent to pay the mortgage was/ is considered marital $ therefore it is half hers. Also the amount that the house has appreciated (literally doubled) has been during the marriage therefore it is half hers. I asked her today if she’d considered what her/ our life being coparents would be like going forward if this happens and I’m financially devastated and her response is that she only wants what’s fair. I believe that …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:32 AM
5

Everything is marital from the day are married regardless of whether it’s only in yours or her name
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:04 AM
3

Before marriage but only by a few months. I am being told that the money I spent to pay the mortgage every month was “marital money” therefore she is entitled to half. IE it’s fucking impossible to avoid them getting half without a prenup or something similar.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:03 AM
5

We’ve informally/no court orders agreed and have been doing 50/50 with the kids. She left the home and got an apartment in the same school district- literally 2 miles away. She’s a teacher and makes roughly 10k less than me. If I am forced to sell / leave this home I’d probably end up in the same apartment complex she went to if I didn’t decide to uproot and get the fuck out of town like my gut is starting to tell me. I know my kids need their father but what good could I possibly be as an emoti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:00 AM
3

Y’all are fuckin depressed man. I mean I am too but y’all are for sure depressed lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 11:31 PM
1

Man I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I only owned it for a few months prior to us getting married, I barely qualified using my VA assured loan benefit. I haven’t looked into helocs yet because essentially any additional money I have to spend would make keeping the house unaffordable. If the calculations were based only on equity (what’s been paid off) instead of equity PLUS appreciation I’d be fine but covering the appreciation is too much, it changes the math from 25k to 100k and I …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 11:12 PM
4

Right so because I married and moved her into a house I already owned she is now entitled to half of the now incredibly inflated value of it and nobody gives a fuck that to pay her out is too much for me to handle. So I will have to sell and buy..what?where?at what int rate?? Nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares that the kids will have to switch school districts. Nobody fucking cares that a dumb ass decided to throw the marriage away
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:47 PM
3

Going through it now. Mine is VA loan, she’s not on the mortgage or deed, but I’m told that I still have to pay her half the equity because it’s a commingled asset. Half the equity at this point is nearly half of what the original loan was and I’m fucking lost
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:13 PM
4

I check mines internet history from her old phone from time to time and she’s been applying to drive for Uber (car too old) and now she’s trying for door dash. She’s an elementary school teacher and her rent is a few hundred shy of my mortgage. Hope it was worth tearing the family apart sweet cheeks, sorry I couldn’t make peace with the lack of intimacy and your ever worsening mood swings during your time of the month!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 09:52 PM
1

lmao
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 12:10 PM
5

First thing mine said when we finally made it in to counseling was “I’m just here to help him understand it’s over.” I’m like, 20 years together, 9 married, two kids a home and pets and you’re just here to help me!? It took me 3 months of separation to find my balls and explain to her that I AM THE PRIZE here not her. If she were the prize it’d be her worried about support payments and home buyout numbers, not me. Now she’s living 2 miles away in an apartment complex filled with single moms and …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 12:07 PM
1

Why you gotta reach through my screen and punch me in the gut man what the fuck I ever do to you!?? lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:43 PM
8

I wouldn’t be interested in a chick who had originally picked a dude who was “trash.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:09 AM
4

They discover the financial benefits and it eliminates any risk or doubt they may have had. It’s just fucking confusing because she’s choosing a life of loneliness and split time with the kids to “cash out” of our marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:07 AM
21

Also any women I match with on these dating sites who are divorced I’m already mad at em because 9/10 did the same shit to someone else that mine just did to me. How the fuck she’s ok with splitting our fam and time with the kids will never be ok with me. I’d have slept in a tent in the yard before going through this shit, fuck
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:54 AM
2

Get hard proof of you can, her admission in writing would be ideal (text message) even in no fault states it can affect your child support obligation. She may not be asking for it now but she will
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 03:20 AM
4

I find myself repeating this on here but I found the best thing to do is simply to go no contact. Look up coach Lee / no contact on YouTube. Going no contact works twofold, it can re attract her because it shatters her feelings of superiority when you quit chasing and if you have any chance at all she’ll get curious and reach out (coach lee explains it much better but this is the gist.) I’ve personally found that the longer you force yourself to not reach out and not beg her ass to reconsider th…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 02:17 AM
2

I just started it!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:01 PM
7

Dude I was on the floor for 6 weeks..but only because Castlery has a shipping backlog. Upgrade, forget that bitch and get back to livin
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 03:20 AM
14

If I ever give another woman a ring it’ll be to someone with far more to lose in a divorce than I have.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:38 PM
3

You dropped this 👑
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:40 PM
1

Atta boy
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 11:39 PM
2

You need to stop. Go no contact bro. Watch this guy’s videos. Seriously https://youtu.be/BlI6bzDNBeA
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 08:45 PM
1

She went no contact, have you? Or have you been reaching out periodically?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 08:35 PM
1

Dude mine too! I correct her with hard evidence (she said she’d only been to an attorney after I did, easily proven wrong) and she either quits responding or changes subjects. I’m starting to truly hate her and with the uncertainty of cs payments and asset division of the shit I bought I’m going nuts here lol. This too shall pass but damnit I’m not ok with any of it
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:10 AM
2

Yep I lived a year with her after she’d made her decision to leave (unk to me) and was like a dumb puppy confused about why the sex felt obligatory and why she argued with/at me for hours, blocking the door so I couldn’t get away at times. I see now she wanted a dv charge that simply would never happen. I’m not that guy but holy shit if she’d had the balls to make a false claim I’d be so fucked it’s scary. I’m still catching up with her resolve to end us
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:26 AM
1

I secretly recorded an argument where she agreed that I’d never put hands on her and that she had to me several times. I also told her after that admission that I was recording. The penalty for “recording someone without consent” doesn’t have shit on what a false dv charge would be. It took longer for me than it should have to see her as an absolute enemy that could not be trusted at all.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:06 AM
1

Just finished a similar sentence and she’s been out for 3 weeks.. now she keeps needing to grab a few more things everytime we exchange the kids. It’s infuriating to watch her load her shitty little Mazda and take load after load to her 800sq ft apartment 5 miles away. I’m like where the fuck are you even putting it all? She’s expecting all / most of the Christmas stuff tomorrow and I’m inclined to tell her to fuck off.. but gotta stay chill for the kids. I hate this shit
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:35 AM
-5

Muslim countries you coulda drug her into the street and beat the brakes off her ass..likely with the dude she looked at joining in
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:57 AM
2

Discovered mine has 70k in student loans… to be an elementary school teacher lmao that shit is definitely premarital honey!
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 02:25 AM
1

FYI I’m assuming you used the va home loan benefit like I did. My attorney said we’ll use that to reduce our buyout offer - ie using the va home loan guarantee eliminated the 10% down payment requirement and private mortgage insurance for my mortgage so there’s like 30k off the top of whatever the fuck I have to give her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 02:16 AM
1

Buddy I’ve never prayed for something I’ve owned to lose value until now lol. What if it goes higher? It makes sense I just don’t like it. It’s essentially the same deal as if we sold now and split the proceeds, I just don’t intend nor want to sell. I couldn’t afford to buy this place with today’s prices and interest rates. Paid 220 Zillow has it today at 430
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:59 AM
1

They prefer that you two work it out between your lawyers so they can stamp it and move on to next case. Our family court is still 8 + months backed up from Covid.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:15 AM
1

My attorney laid it out like this- every dollar I make past her salary is now 50 cents for me and 50 cents for her for child support. Doesn’t matter if I’ll have them 50% of the time. We’ve not been to court yet but fuck I’m going to be poor and likely unable to afford the mortgage + cs + loan to buy her out of the house I bought, I BOUGHT.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:11 AM
1

Ok so equity includes appreciation, gotcha. I wasn’t wrong but you were more correct lol
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 11:32 PM
1

Equity is the amount that you have paid off of your mortgage. For a buyout it’d be half equity plus half the appreciation..
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:25 PM
1

I was told it’s half the equity and half the appreciation. Edit- told the buyout amount is based on the equity (amount paid off) + appreciation (market based.) if it were only half the equity I’d be jazzed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:22 PM
2

Then make her fight for every spoon, fork and knife dude I’m rootin for you. The fuck is wrong with these women
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:21 PM
1

I’m so fuckinangry
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:19 PM
3

Mine moved out 2 weeks ago with some unreal expectations of just how fast she’d be able to cash out of our marriage, I’m in no rush at all for any of it anymore lol. Praying she doesn’t wise up or discover interim cs payments. Also “commingling” is a bitch, I owned the house before marriage and I’ll still have to buy her out?? I’ll never remarry
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:14 PM
0

You in a hurry to pay her?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:07 PM
5

Also if you can prove she’s cohabiting with that shitbag you have a good chance of reducing your child support but I don’t know the law well enough and it probably differs everywhere. Worth looking into
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:21 AM
2

Commingling is a bitch. I’m with you man but it’s family court, shits just not so black and white, the judge will determine what’s fair if you and her don’t agree to work it out (you will.) Yes, these attorneys are fucking bloodsuckers who don’t actually give a shit what happens. I asked mine if he was familiar with who my wife had retained and he acted like he didn’t know them, their fucking office buildings are separated by 1 old house. She’s entitled to half of everything minus those 4 years.…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:16 AM
1

Equity + appreciation - any improvements that you can show were paid for by you (however that’s probably going to be considered marital funds anyway so 🤷)
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:37 AM
4

You’re spot on here. I literally just had this conversation with my attorney yesterday. I was so smug thinking that it was going to be considered premarital and she’d not be able to touch it..wrong, she’s entitled to half the equity and half the appreciation from day 1 of your marriage, you keep anything from prior. Boys if you can work it out with your partner before you are sitting with an attorney going over these details I suggest you try. Also every dollar you earn past her salary is now go…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:32 AM
7

Yea this is the kinda bullshit horror story that could stress someone the fuck out if they didn’t realize that this guy is either lying, a complete dumbass or has a shit attorney. No judge would put one parent into poverty based on this guys description of his situation. Maybe I’m wrong, family court is the Wild West of making shit up as it goes
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 04:31 AM
13

Constantly sleep in the kids room and blame me because “I didn’t help when they were little.” We never agreed on how to put them down I was more of the “kids it’s bedtime brush your teeth, get in bed, goodnight” where she’d lay with them until they fell asleep but then she’d often also fall asleep. I’d wake up alone and frustrated which led to a lot of rough weekends.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 05:47 PM
6

I can’t stress enough how feeling sorry for yourself / being pitiful and hoping she will “care” is literally the opposite of what you should be doing. If you were crying about your dog dying then sure she oughtta come hug you or some shit. However, you’re crying/being pitiful because of HER behavior, don’t give her that power or she will never respect you. Now do some push ups, brush your teeth, schedule a hair cut. I’ll send you a list of books to read tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:23 AM
13

Showing her that you’re “hurting deeply” does the opposite of what you probably expect. Women aren’t attracted to someone they feel sorry for and would you want her if that’s why she stayed? I know from experience how bad this sucks but chasing her only reinforces her resolve. I had to put DNT (do not text) beside her name in my phone. Sinking into depression and alcoholism only proves that she’s right to leave. Stop fucking drinking, 25 is young, get in the gym, get your shit together life is t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:48 AM
5

Stop chasing her. Go to the gym. Lift heavy weights to exhaustion, don’t count reps. Be a man. Stop chasing her. If it comes back to you it was meant to be, if it doesn’t it never was. Monday is chest and tris. Take care
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:27 AM
0

Hanging out at the laundromat?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 02:39 PM
16

Munchausin by proxy?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 02:16 AM
1

Fucking painfully on point
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 12:36 AM
3

Send em fam
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 11:05 PM
2

Annul that shit and hmu up, I ain’t gay but if someone treated me like that I’d give it my best shot
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:54 AM
2

Shit not many people can
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 03:34 PM
1

How’d it go man?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 03:05 AM
8

Yooo fellow vet here, bout to be going through it with mine. I was super stressed for months worried about the house (va loan, 3.25% locked) turns out that in my state she is only entitled to half of the equity, not half the appraisal like I feared lol. Learning this changed the numbers from 70kish to like 18 lol, fuck these hoes man
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 02:59 AM
3

I found something called google takeout, it gives you literally everything they’ve done online for 2 years (assuming they use google and are signed in..mine was 🤷‍♂️) trust your gut, took me longer than it should have to catch on. Their ability to play the long game is kinda terrifying really. I don’t think I’ll ever remarry when this one is finally over.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:25 AM
3

I’d fucking move to Costa Rica before I live with this shit
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:15 AM
1

Fuck man I just can’t
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 01:43 AM
1

Nah they don’t stick together I bet he could fuck one of them no problem
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 01:32 AM
7

Yoo I did cps investigations for two years and this is exactly how the attorneys were. Trust me, unless it’s an attorney from another county, they’re just putting on a show for the clients.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 06:42 PM
3

Love to hear it, you’re awesome man and the next one will show you what you were missing with her. I’m a straight, married for now, dude and your life sounds exciting as shit. Lots of women would be lucky to meet u
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:37 AM
1

You can get a full background check on him without a PI, could also file a cps report on his “creepiness” anonymously and they’d have to investigate whatever the claim is ✌🏻that sob looks like a kid toucher to me man get him the fuck away from ur kids by any means
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:19 AM
3

You just need to find/fuck something new and exciting man. Never make the same mistakes twice
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:14 AM
2

Get excited buddy you’re about to find the partner you’ve always dreamed you would have. Life is short, make it awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:11 AM
5

It’s.Such.A.Shitty.Contract
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:08 PM
1

Lol, my man! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 12:45 PM
6

Ok. Well, women don’t get that most men would be happy to have sex with their s/o literally at anytime if they were willing and showed the slightest inclination that they were open to having sex. Porn is just an outlet for those not being fulfilled. Not a replacement, not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 03:09 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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