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alanonhelp777 Archive

View 5 posts and 55 comments by alanonhelp777 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

Off topic but ..upvotes and smiles for your “cake day” :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:56 PM
36

I get that it’s normal in a lot of places, but it’s condescending. You would never say to a man, “You’re such a sweet boy,” or, “You seem like such a nice boy.” It’s ...gross. It implies that he’s not a full adult and you are. So yes, I know it’s common, but I don’t think it’s acceptable. You can’t be equal partners when one of you is addressed like a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:12 PM
54

It’s the first time I’ve responded like that to a man, despite getting these messages all the time. I should clarify, he is 50. I am in my 40s. Maybe if we were younger I might feel different about this. But at this point, I have yet to have a man use that kind of cutesy language with me and not be a d-bag who thinks he is default superior to me because he’s a man. I’m tired of giving all of them the benefit of the doubt for the rare chance that maybe he doesn’t mean to be a condescending asshat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:50 PM
63

LOL! Thank you!! I feel like...If you want a sweet girl, get a poodle. I’m a nice woman, not your daughter. Why must men infantilize women or talk to us like we are children?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:40 PM
40

I’m so offended by the lack of capitalization and punctuation on the shirt that I don’t have energy left to be scandalized at the audacity of this troll actually wearing it. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 05:58 PM
3

I hate that so much!! Why do people do that?! You’re just out here trying to meet a person and there are all these liars and scammers to weed through before you even get to people who actually want to date, and then you have to weed through them too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:28 PM
5

I so totally fell for this baloney in my last relationship. Damn liars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:42 AM
3

You are NOT the only one like this. Not by a long shot :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:42 PM
13

Well done!! You have your head on straight!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 08:48 PM
138

At 19, honestly, focus on your education. Your degree, knowledge, hobbies, and money will never up and leave you. Men...might. Build YOUR life. If a man joins in at some point, it’ll be because you WANT him, not because you NEED him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:53 PM
35

You are freaking AWESOME!! Thank you for sharing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:43 PM
18

LOL! I have no problem with people who hunt ethically and eat their kills. I’m not a vegan, and all meat comes from somewhere. But man. I do not want to see a man with a bloody animal corpse and a high powered weapon when looking at a profile. That’s not appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:14 PM
36

Yes! I’m very sick of, “Hey, sexy!” Like...if you walked up to a woman on the street and said that, she would walk away. That’s gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:11 PM
71

Girl. You’re AWESOME. Thanks for this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:09 PM
11

100%. She needs to suggest counseling and she also needs to move on. He is years away from being able to engage in a healthy relationship even with therapy. The kind thing to do is encourage counseling and then part ways. These are not her problems to solve, and she couldn’t even if she tried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 02:15 PM
13

100%. If this type of giving is one-sided, that’s bs. But if they’re a strong couple who do things like this for one another, rock on! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 02:13 PM
58

I respectfully disagree. If this guy is a great HVM, and his gf/wife gives him an amazing gift, that’s a healthy relationship. Specifically not doing nice things for your partner, if s/he deserves it, is basically just negging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:55 PM
16

This man needs counseling. It’s fun to rip on a guy like this, because, ew. Gross. But honestly, he’s probably gay and really not ok with it, for which there is some deal-with-that-in-therapy reason. She needs to move on. One, he’s physically gross. Two, he has serious emotional problems, and they are NOT hers to solve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:36 PM
20

This dude is gay and afraid of being gay. This woman is in denial and is endangering her health from his nastiness. This relationship is a train wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:30 PM
82

Insecure men feel the need to control women. One way of controlling women is by restricting her social circle, even if it’s just in little ways such as offhand comments about not liking certain friends. If he dislikes that friend, she will spend less time with the friend either to accommodate him or because he won’t want to do things in a group with her. Ultimately, he sort of ...pushes out the friends, leaving his partner socially isolated with no one to support her when he is emotionally abusi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:29 AM
44

It is 100% a Catch 22. If you are open to any kink and you disclose that, somehow you must be a slut or open to ALL kink or you’re just looking for sex. But if you’re into any kink and you don’t discuss that upfront, you’re setting yourself up for an unhappy relationship because you’re not going to be sexually compatible with someone whose sexually preferences don’t align with yours. Why can’t women say: “I like sex. I like XYZ kinds of sex,” without men then making negative assumptions about th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 01:46 PM
27

Girl. I am so sorry. If you haven’t already, get yourself to therapy. My dad was a jerk too. And having a jerk for a dad will seriously screw with your adult relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 05:07 AM
155

Men don’t cheat because a woman isn’t pretty enough. Men cheat because they’re assholes with poor impulse control who need their egos stroked constantly in order to feel like men. They cheat because the new side chick doesn’t know all his little secrets and lies and other BS that his gf/wife totally knows and doesn’t respect. If men were better men, they wouldn’t cheat. And that’s the same for women. Cheating is BS no matter what your gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 10:18 PM
2

I’m so glad to help in some small way 💜 Take care of you. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:48 AM
42

Thanks, ladies. It was 20+ years ago and I still, once in a blue moon, have PTSD episodes from it. My dad blaming me was totally emblematic of our relationship. He died long ago. Rape doesn’t go away. Like all trauma, it stays with you. You learn to live with it. You can heal. You can move forward. You can learn to recognize that it’s part of your story but not the definition of who you are. You CAN. It takes work and time and therapy. And it never 100% goes away. But it gets better. Also: inste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:46 AM
55

Still got raped. And my dad blamed me for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:38 AM
6

You’re very welcome. And I understand your frustration. I can only tell you something I tell myself often. It’s kind of an amalgam of several quotes I like: We learn things on the day we learn them. And then we know better. And when we know better, we do better. You know better now. So you can do better. Give yourself the grace you would extend to anyone else who came to you and told this same story. Think of how you would encourage that person. How you would applaud that person for continuing t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:37 AM
36

Kudos to you for not falling into the default life your family laid out for you. You are right that it does not have to be all marriage and kids for you to be happy and successful. ALSO, there’s nothing wrong with wanting marriage and kids on your own terms with a loving partner. When people learn early that they have to love their abusers and repeatedly forgive them, it can create codependent behaviors. I am 100% one of these people. I’ve found r/codependency a great resource. Obviously idk if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:22 PM
34

I love that he deleted his post. Damn, man. If you can’t handle the internet’s wrath over your snooping, you are NEVER gonna survive an actual HVW’s response to being spied on and accused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:09 PM
1

Thank you so much! There really is SO MUCH that goes into this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:50 PM
1

In my case, my ex was well established in his career — and his name recognition was important — and had a son from his first marriage. At that time, it would never have occurred to me to ask him to change his name. It was VERY rare 20 years ago for a man to change his name. I was not super attached to my maiden name, and the choice to change was entirely mine. My ex would have been fine with me keeping my name. Now, in my 40s, at this point in my career, and in this era, I would be very very unl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:24 AM
7

You do not need to rush into anything you’re not ready for. I do think it’s reasonable to disclose within a few dates that you are not looking to have intercourse anytime soon. It’s ok to say exactly why. And it’s ok to say you’re not interested in discussing your reasons until you know someone very well. It’s a private matter. That said, it’s also reasonable to expect that some men will not be on board with this, and that doesn’t make them bad people. If they aren’t willing to invest six months…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:32 PM
1

I changed my name when I got married. I liked the idea of our kids having the same last name as both of their parents. When we divorced, I kept my married name because I still like the kids having the same last name as me, and also I am established in my career now and see no benefit to changing it back. I made the choices that worked for me and my family. I think that’s what it comes down to. You can change, not change, both change, whatever. It’s a personal preference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:28 PM
1

I appreciate that. I am researching breeders at length because of the exact issues you’re talking about. With our family situation, the size, temperament, and allergy elements are all important factors. Doodles are so often trained as service and therapy dogs because of their great temperaments a super intelligence, and quite honestly I just think they’re awesome 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:41 PM
2

We have had a labradoodle (my ex got him in the divorce) so I’m familiar. He’s a super goofy doodle but sweet and definitely does need lots of exercise and grooming. And I grew up with a sheepdog, so I’m familiar with them, too. Definitely good points to make, though! I’m sure a lot of people just adopt them because they’re so cute and then can’t handle them. 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:39 PM
1

They are so beautiful!! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:12 PM
1

What kind of doodle do you have? 🐶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 05:33 PM
37

This may as well say, “She’s a human woman.” That’s what boobs DO. This is what porn does. It gives men this bizarre mental image of what women look like naked. Do some women have porn star bodies? Sure. Do some men look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club? Yeah. But the percentages out of the general population are about the same. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 02:06 AM
6

Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 01:04 AM
20

Girl. I am so sorry you went through that!! That sucks!!! Men!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 12:37 AM
6

The thing is, if she knows you just flat out hate him and you consistently tell her to leave, it will put distance between you and you won’t know when she actually needs help. I just got out of a relationship with an alcoholic, and three of my girlfriends basically said to me what I suggested you say to your friend, and it was EVERYTHING to me. This brilliant, affectionate man was also a lying, cheating alcoholic. And it took me time to see it and go: OMG this has to stop. I was so blinded by ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 12:35 AM
67

You are doing the right thing. If he’s interested, he will let you know it. Just be careful about long gaps in seeing one another. Sometimes that’s a sign that you’re in rotation with several other women...or a wife. Obvs I don’t know him. Just my experience, as I’m in my 40s, and man...just when I think I’ve seen it all, they show me another level of fuckboyness. I hope he’s the real deal!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 12:22 AM
14

You can only support her. That’s it. If she asks your opinion you tell her clearly: You are a woman of substance, and I envision for you a partner who can match you and challenge you in positive ways. Whatever choices you make are yours, and I don’t judge them. I’m your friend and I support YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 12:19 AM
46

This is so freaking disturbing. We have all had that moment. They shut down, and we comfort and reengage because we don’t want to hurt their feelings and we do want to be with them. But just because we don’t want them to take their pants off doesn’t mean we don’t want ANYTHING. Notice how basically, unless they’re gonna get naked, the strategy is to freeze her out. It’s all or nothing. And she feels like....wait....what just happened? I thought he wanted me. This is such mind-fuckery. How can th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 11:52 PM
10

Thank you! I made a donation a couple of weeks ago when we were still visiting shelters looking for the right dog. Every shelter visit broke my heart and also sent me into a full allergy attack. I was like...we have to be smarter about this. So I donated to the shelter and have been researching breeds and breeders. I am confident I found an ethical breeder (checked all the “puppy mill” lists, looked up reviews, etc) and that this is the right breed. Can’t think of any other steps I should take b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 11:15 PM
4

This is a sheepadoodle. Aren’t they so cute? Super loyal, super smart, hypoallergenic, and fluffy AF. They can be mini through giant, so you have to know what subtype you’re adopting up front. They’re Old English Sheep Dogs bees with Poodles. Sometimes they breed a sheepadoodle with a poodle for a second gen. I am legit obsessed. Looks just like the awesome dog I had growing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 11:13 PM
4

Sheepadoodles are awesome!! 🐶 Thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 11:05 PM
65

I think the best answer is, “By choice. How about you?” They don’t need to know your ex cheated or you dumped a guy who had a porn addiction or your last relationship just didn’t pan out. Whatever it is, you’re single for a LOT of reasons, and so are they.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 10:58 PM
26

LOL! I’m really pretty set on a sheepadoodle like this one at this point. But I’ll get a puppy. They are relatively easy to train and very hard to find at shelters or rescues, so if I want one, I have to get a puppy from a breeder. I hate to buy a dog when so many need homes, but I need one that is suuuper calm and hypoallergenic as I have allergies and a child with autism. Basically, I figure if I’m going to have to clean up a bunch of sh*t, I’d rather it was from caring for a puppy and not a L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 10:43 PM
11

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing this. You need to feel safe, and if this helps, it’s your choice. That said, it 100% SUCKS that women feel like we have to do this. Why can’t men respect that a woman isn’t interested? Maybe she’s single and not looking, not attracted to you, not attracted to men, not in the mood to be asked out, whatever. Accept the, “No, thank you,” and move on. It is so unfathomable to a man that we aren’t interested. And if we lie and say we are, “taken” becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 10:40 PM
34

THIS. Preach!! I out-earn every man I’ve dated. I am a divorced parent who takes zero child support. I have my shit together. So, no. When some LVM starts a Tinder convo, drops off the earth, then shows up and asks if I’m free tonight? Uh, no. Go fuck yourself. And the WORST ones are those who ask about my work, latch onto one word, and then proceed to EXPLAIN MY CAREER to me. And of course they don’t know anything about my field. No. Just...no. My career is not a cute hobby I’m playing at until…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:59 PM
45

This was painful to read. Basically...starve poor people because then LVM, who otherwise have no options, will get laid by a woman they can subjugate? Oooookay, no. Also, I am completely hung up on this comment one of the guys made about how welfare is just men paying for women who aren’t even “theirs.” I so need to break that down: I am a successful woman. I work my ass off. And I pay taxes that pay into all sorts of social programs, including unemployment and welfare. As I should. Welfare is n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:54 PM
16

I respectfully disagree with the group on this one. He supported her through school, and now she makes more than him, and when they are MARRIED and have a family, she thinks 100% of her money is hers and he has to support everyone? That makes no sense. If she wants to always have savings that is hers and hers alone, I get that. But the family unit is a TEAM. If you’re both working, how is it right that the family lives off his income but she gets to save everything for life? If a man worked full…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:17 AM
7

This sounds fine, especially because he respected your request. He may have just forgotten where in town you live/work, or he may just like that place. The fact that you politely pushed back and he respected it seems all kosher to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:09 AM
12

Freelance. Freelance is a huge red flag. Sometimes LVM will say they own their own company or they’re an independent contractor. But really they’re just a freelancer. There’s a huge difference between owning an actual company with employees and being a freelancer who thinks the freedom to work from his kitchen table is somehow a good trade off for never knowing how much money he will make in a given month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:08 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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