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aluriaphin Archive

View 5 posts and 130 comments by aluriaphin on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

Saying that homophobia is an offshoot of misogyny doesn't excuse misogynistic gay men. Basically all oppression in our world boils down to certain groups feeling superior and like that gives them the right to treat their "inferiors" like shit, up to and including using violence against them. That's why it's so important to vet how a man treats LGBT+ people, POC, refugees, homeless people, wait staff, children, animals, etc, etc. If he treats any being with hate, contempt, or cruelty then he has …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:13 AM
11

My city is extreeeemely casual, I mentioned below it's kind of like the Portland of my country. If I vet on OLD for no walk, no drinks, no coffee dates I literally have to next them 19/20 times. The idea of taking a woman to dinner for a first date is essentially defunct where I live. I don't really bother with OLD since finding FDS because if there are HVM around here they aren't on these apps... 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:44 PM
23

They are actually called the Public Gardens! It's a fabulous resource for our city, they are like the largest preserved Victorian garden outside of England. Beautiful place to go for a walk BUT NOT A DAMN FIRST DATE!! 💥😤👊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:42 PM
25

It's dead-ass the young people, this is one of those cool indie SJW type papers (I'm not American but my city has a Portlandia-type vibe) 😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:39 PM
5

I think there is an open round of suggestions to form the shortlist and the most popular ones advance. Sadly this is really how my city thinks!! 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:38 PM
42

She's definitely out of his league looks-wise. At least he's only 4 years older, at their age that's nothing scandalous... Sounds like she's taken her foot off the vetting pedal a bit early imo, got him up on a pedestal that he likely hasn't earned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 03:57 AM
282

I think I would flair this "Pick Me Culture" lmao. First two red flags without even needing to read it, 1) she's gorgeous and he's gross and 2) Mr. Rivera, 40, and Ms. Delgado, 33. 'Nuff said... Edit: Oh JFC he's a "suspended without pay" cop and she owns a successful business?? Wtf is wrong with these Pick Mes??? Edit 2: FFS he was an alcoholic with anger issues about his suspension for TWO YEARS before he "tapered off" WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?!?! I hate everything...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 03:50 AM
9

Love her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 03:39 AM
15

I literally cannot recommend it enough. It makes choosing a colour palette for your wardrobe SO simple and when you wear your best colours you look your most beautiful, healthy, and alive! It's incredible how much your natural beauty and *personality* shine through when you're wearing your own colours! Makes it sooo much easier to shop and not waste money on unflattering things too, it's basically the ultimate cheat code to looking your best! It's based on science too, it's literally the combina…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 03:38 AM
78

My abusive NV narc dad used the family car as a weapon against us. He was constantly getting high on drugs and driving us places, even as kids, and when he'd lose his temper on the road (frequently) he'd drive so fast we'd all fear for our lives. Once when I was around 12-14 he also got so mad at me he pulled over on the highway, physically threw me in the ditch and drove away. My mom and sister were in the car and I'm sure my mom was screaming for him to turn around. They came back very soon af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:12 AM
25

Seconded this although it's not super easy to find your type. For me learning about the 12 colour seasons and having a professional draping was INSANELY valuable, it really changed my whole life!! Knowing I'm a Bright Winter Dramatic makes shopping EXTREMELY streamlined!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:07 AM
14

Anna Bey is an excellent resource on YouTube, she runs "The School of Affluence" and it's all about teaching women how to be feminine and elegant, including appearance and dating (she's very FDS friendly!). She teaches modern style, though. I am a vintage girl myself (WWII 40s is my favourite era!) and some of my favourites YouTubers for fashion and beauty are Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (50s/modern pinup), Sage Lilleyman (40s/50s casual), and Bee Townsend aka Vintage Tips and Tricks. Bee is especia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:04 AM
40

I've been no contact with my abusive narc NV dad for many years. My mom and sister now are as well but for years I was the only one who was shunning him because he was most abusive to me and they are much more people-pleasing and passive. It was very lonely being the only one cutting this person out but my peace was well worth it. I just made a conscious decision not to go to events where I knew he would be present, not to visit my parents' home when he was there, not to answer the phone when he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 08:34 PM
133

In the case of an extremely wealthy woman, particularly if the man isn't in the same tax bracket, marriage is usually discouraged as it's not in the woman's best interest. Marriage is crucial for the average woman in a relationship because (with the gender pay gap and the usual costs associated with being in a relationship and having children) it offers protections. Once the woman is the high earner HE gets the protections so it's no longer viewed as that much of a positive. For an extremely wea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 08:26 PM
38

Oh girl it's not arguable, he's a big actor but she's a MOGUL and literally one of the most successful musicians of all time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:36 PM
62

Don't 🤡🤡 yourself for that, with that kind of age gap you were groomed. I'm so sorry you went through that and you're well clear of him now! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:30 PM
5

Crossposting is not unacceptable per se but posting an image or video without adding any strategy or valuable commentary is now considered low effort and no longer allowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:27 PM
373

Ultra-wealthy women are beyond the purview of Forever GF, they have more to lose than to gain through marriage. As Cher said when her mom asked "when will you find a rich man to marry?" "Mom, I AM a rich man." (And who prominently featured that quote in a music video? Taylor Swift.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:25 PM
35

"Befriending" a man in a relationship is really Pick Me/NLOG 101!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:20 PM
46

He said [you've got] "your doctorette!?" as a way to feminize (read: minimize) her PhD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 09:07 PM
33

It's still a massive red flag for low self-esteem, low effort and low self-confidence. He's so afraid of rejection he can't even bring himself to ask a woman for a date. NEXT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:58 PM
10

Some pick-up artists talk about "natural game" - a man who didn't need to be taught tricks and strategies, he just had an inborn ability to pick up women. This woman found her innate "natural FDS"!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:26 AM
55

Is this post really about sex work? This is the exact libfem argument for sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:24 AM
17

The "solid roast to flirt ratio" thing is such an obvious canned line at this point too 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:17 PM
137

A friend of a "friend" once shared a gif on Facebook of a young woman (maybe 17-23) with a ponytail sitting in some sports stands looking away from the camera. A man reaches out and yanks her head back by the hair. She turns around and smiles at the camera. There's no context at all, it's a gif, so it basically looks like a stranger does this unprovoked to get her attention and she responds by smiling flirtatiously. I don't care if it was her fucking husband, it's still totally disrespectful. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 04:36 PM
24

This needs to be an FDS rescue mission!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 04:25 PM
183

THIS should be a Hollywood romance movie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:18 AM
14

Yes! In practice it is extremely difficult to live very far below your means though, you have to be SO intentional if you're going to save or invest a whole extra income. It's basically just a fact of life that as people earn more they spend more (fancier car, more vacations, pricier clothes, etc etc), so usually even as a household income rises the amount left at the end of the month stays about the same. The idea is that while a working dad is on the front line a SAHM is a reservist who can be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 09:17 AM
65

Elizabeth Warren (yes that one) actually wrote a super interesting book called The Two Income Trap that posits that families were actually in a better financial situation back when it was the norm for only one parent to work. They lived comfortably on that one income and if Dad lost his job (say the plant closed) Mom could go out and get one and they'd be okay. If your family is reliant on two incomes if anything happens and one of you loses your job you're basically screwed. Seeing as people al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 11:34 PM
82

My little sister literally married the first man who picked her, engaged at 21! He's LV and I can hardly stand him, she can't understand why... He's a master of weaponized incompetence and she has ALWAYS wanted to be a mom, I truly shudder to think what her life will be like raising kids with him. I worry she's in for a hard life. (Not to mention she brings him around constantly so I'M having a hard life just being around this doofus! 😭)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 11:27 PM
68

I had this happen to me with an INTERNATIONAL trip!! Luckily I was already planning to go there but meeting this guy who was from there and in my town for one night really clinched it and influenced me to stay for two whole weeks. As soon as I messaged him that I bought the tickets... 👻👻👻 When I got there I messaged him again just to make sure (🤡)... Crickets. Absolutely never heard from him again. It hurt because that was one of the only times in my LIFE that I connected with someone in what fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 04:09 PM
8

I personally don't like "can I kiss you?" at all, I find it cringey and to me it shows a lack of basic social awareness and confidence. If I want you to kiss me it will be obvious. We evolved from non-verbal animals, males and females of any species have the ability to make our desires known to the opposite sex without words. If a man can't read my body language and cues, feel confident he's reading the situation right and act accordingly he's kind of clueless and social awkward imo... "Consent"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:23 PM
217

The fact that he maliciously ruined one of her favourite dresses is grounds for immediate dumping alone, I would not have forgiven that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:14 PM
15

He doesn't live with her. An above comment said he probably doesn't consider himself in a relationship with her, he visits the son and she lets him smash but he considers himself single and she's convinced they're a happy family... Sounds like the likeliest story to me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:44 AM
24

Oh God you're so right, that is horrendous. She's so in denial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:41 AM
300

JFC I thought she finally grew some self-esteem and was done with him BUT THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER. HE BLOCKED HER NUMBER, HOW MUCH OF A PICK ME CAN SHE BE??? She's setting the most dismal example for her son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 10:06 AM
228

You say he was a "lovely man" but the actual behaviours you describe are anything but. I think you are a little brainwashed right now. After some more time has passed you will probably be able to see how LV he was more clearly because NO, none of the things you describe are okay and you should NOT be taking blame for hurtful things said to you by someone with "anger issues".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:28 AM
583

He needs to go to JAIL for statutory rape as well as this literal assault. What a disgusting predator. I'm literally afraid for her safety if she tries to leave because he's clearly incredibly controlling/batshit insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 06:44 AM
53

So happy for you! Just curious how long you've been together and if you will be getting engaged soon? FDS of course does not recommend moving in with boyfriends so it makes me a little nervous. ETA: Okay, apparently you've been dating less than two months?? OP you shouldn't even be SLEEPING with him yet let alone considering moving in!! This is infatuation and rose coloured glasses, you need to slow WAY down. If he is the one then you will be together forever, you lose nothing by waiting! There …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 06:43 AM
1207

This should really have a Trigger Warning for sexual assault. She should call the fucking police on him, this is literally criminal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:14 AM
30

So happy for you queen! So glad you're not going to waste your youth, it's a mistake far too many make and the one thing we can never get any more of is time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 03:45 AM
119

If you have to ask then assume they are. All of the above men are trash and need to be blocked and deleted if they aren't already. Also, no offense but it sounds like you are having sex with them without properly waiting and vetting and especially with men this puts you in danger and is extremely frowned upon by FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 03:40 AM
204

At the end the author recommends women pursue men though, as we here all know that is never the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 10:07 AM
76

Yeah, she was the lead in 50 Shades of Grey but she's also Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith's daughter and Tippi Hedren (star of Hitchcock's The Birds) grand-daughter. She's basically considered Hollywood royalty but hasn't done much for herself except 50 Shades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:46 AM
225

WTF is going on out there?? This makes me want to stay in isolation for ever...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 04:57 AM
79

It's always the obvious groomsmen photos. Makes it SO clear that they would never usually wear a nice suit or put effort into their appearance, it's just a special occasion thing so they use those pics. Yawn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 04:09 AM
40

Having 2 jobs in one year is more of a LV trait than anything, it usually means he got fired... Take some deep breaths, maybe take a hot shower or bath, forgive yourself for looking at his profile, and watch one of your fave TV shows or read a book. You need to distract your brain, often you will literally forget to be anxious if you're engrossed in an enjoyable activity and when you remember again you'll have a lot more perspective on the whole thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 05:35 AM
3

The ending took me to out 🤣🤣🤣 God I hope she sent this to him too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 01:35 AM
79

This was genuinely upsetting to watch 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 09:27 AM
202

Glad others are seeing what we saw and he's getting the heat he deserves for this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 09:23 AM
104

Ladies, all of this is in the handbook... Firstly, you have no idea if he is actually a HVM, you should NOT be giving him the benefit of any doubt. This is after ONE date, he's a stranger! Secondly, it is expected that a HVW will continue to see multiple men for around three months before considering committing to a relationship. For a HVM it's more like 4-6 weeks to two months tops. This is because men usually know very quickly if they are interested in a serious commitment with a woman whereas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 02:52 AM
29

We don't share people's personal info here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 09:11 PM
3

I'm sorry, that sounds really tough. In that case the best and safest thing might be to get a dog if you're able? They will provide companionship, a sense of purpose, unconditional love and cuddles if not actual human contact. Having someone to wake up with and come home to every day is a beautiful thing even if they have four legs 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 07:53 PM
1

Basically the "conflicting out" strategy entails having an initial consultation with all the best divorce lawyers in town, as if you're shopping around to pick who to hire. Because they have some form of professional relationship with you they are ethically barred from entering into a business relationship with your soon-to-be ex due to a "conflict of interest", thereby effectively preventing said ex from hiring any of the "good" lawyers or "sharks" in town. As outlined above, it can backfire, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 02:08 AM
88

Sounds like you might be a bit touch-starved (after the past two years it's an extremely common state of affairs.) Do you have close relationships with family or friends? I am extremely close to my mom and we are very physically affectionate. It is so good for humans to have physical closeness with others, we are social animals, period. Sometimes the reason masturbating isn't doing the trick is that you just want to be held.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:50 PM
20

A word of warning: "Conflicting out" all the good divorce lawyers is not always a winning strategy. To start with, you generally have to pay for a consult with each one to establish a conflict of interest, so that can get expensive. A "good" lawyer is often measured by their high fees too, so going with the "best" (priciest) lawyer in town and leaving only inexpensive ones for your ex can really screw you as he can afford to drag out proceedings whereas you will be paying out the nose for every …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:10 PM
117

He has been thoroughly cancelled in my eyes ever since he wrote that slaughtering his "basically pet sheep" was done by "waving a magic wand" and was just like "turning off a television" i.e. they are machines rather than sentient beings and feel no emotions, pain, fear, etc. You don't have to be a vegan or someone who worked on a sheep farm or studied the societal harms of slaughterhouse work to recognize how sociopathic that is. As all three I could never ever look at him the same again. I'm d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 11:53 AM
6

It's linked on the very top of the home page, in the header, and in the sidebar. I recommend reading it all thoroughly, the keys to FDS are all there. It's also the #1 rule of the sub to read it all before posting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:50 AM
22

It sounds like you're still struggling to internalize the handbook teachings. That's okay, we're raised and socialized in an exceptionally Pick Me culture. But truthfully it really seems to bother you and he really has no motivation to change since he already knows you'll put up with almost no effort from him. If you're not ready to break up yet it certainly won't hurt to ask him to pick you up but I'd advise rereading the handbook, including the Reformed PickMeisha sections, and keep your eyes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:36 AM
96

I think dressing up for an occasion (and a date should be an occasion) telegraphs self-respect as well as respect for the other person. If you are a woman who never wears makeup then obviously you should present yourself as you always do to the world, but a man you're dating should be taking you to a nice restaurant for dinner and so you should be dressed and groomed as you would whether you were going there with family, friends, etc. I would never show up to a date looking like I was showing up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:25 AM
40

FDS doesn't advocate for or condone "training". If he wanted to, he would. It sounds like he clearly doesn't meet your standards and it's time to block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:10 AM
113

I'd say if you perceive that it feels "cleaner" when waxed bare you have some internalized misogyny about your natural body being "unclean" and you do have some unlearning to do. Try a trimmer. No ongoing fees, no inconvenient appointments, no pain, no skin irritation or bleeding, no itchy regrowth and no non-pornsick, non-pedo man will have an issue with a trimmed hedge. It's similar to getting comfortable leaving the house without an expensive blowout or full face of makeup (a huge source of a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 10:02 AM
161

Not to mention a TL is basically totally irreversible but a vasectomy can often be revised if the situation changes. Dr Youn takes NO prisoners!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 04:18 AM
403

This belongs in the handbook. Of all the FDS standards I think "a man who doesn't watch porn" is the scariest and most impossible or unnecessary seeming to newbies. Excellent, excellent breakdown of why it's anything BUT unnecessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 08:13 PM
2

At the movie theatre! Presumably in a city! He had options, he's just a shithead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 09:22 PM
29

There were quite a few of them over the years! It's a real phenomenon, these men are so afraid to lose face with their "boys" that they'll make themselves and an unsuspecting woman miserable just to have a conventionally attractive partner, regardless of the fact that they themselves don't find her attractive at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:26 AM
38

He said "not sure who's the bigger asshole here". UM, THERE'S ONLY ONE OPTION?? Just because she graciously drove you there doesn't mean you're entitled to a ride home. Uber, taxis, and public transit exist my guy! You couldn't even be bothered to stay conscious during your "date", why in the hell would she be an asshole for excusing herself from the situation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:22 AM
144

I used to read all of Dan Savage's columns [progressive sex columnist]. Something that came up a lot was men who are attracted to fat women but will only have sex with them in secret. They will find a "hot", slim girl to be their girlfriend to get status and approval from their friends but they literally aren't even that into her - just using her for clout, might even have ED trying to have sex with her because he's literally not attracted. That's a cowardly LVM wasting the time and love of at l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:22 PM
21

In my culture anyway it's totally standard that one of the first "getting to know you" questions is "what do you do [for work]?" so I personally wouldn't find that a red flag. HOWEVER, maybe something about the way he asked or responded rubbed you the wrong way, or maybe in your culture it IS rude. Regardless, that plus him not asking for your info directly seems to have put you off of him. I'd say your intuition is telling you he's not that great and not the one for you so it sounds like maybe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:08 PM
89

As a young pick me I gave my number to this ancient billionaire who expressed interest in me when I was visiting his vacation town for a couple of nights. (Five hours away from my hometown, different country for him. He'd go there every summer.) He said he'd text me to meet up on my last night, never did, and then every six months like clockwork I'd get a fucking breadcrumb text from this rich old scrote. This went on for YEARS, like I'd float across his mind and he'd send a text to keep tabs on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 07:25 PM
14

Can we get a source, article with more information on these claims?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:21 AM
168

Exactly, it's usually the convention for Mormons in the USA to have separate homes for the wives too. This is just some sick shit. His friends probably think he's the king of the world. His wife was the ultimate 🤡 for agreeing to let his GF move in instead of saying "there's a pandemic and millions of people are dying, you don't get to fuck your side piece any more. Deal with it." At this level of clownery I wouldn't be shocked if SHE suggested the GF move in with them 🤡🤡🤡😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 06:52 PM
57

Usually not, poly basically means you have multiple partners and there is open communication and honesty between everyone. A "throuple" would be if three people are all in a relationship with each other, but usually poly people have their own partners and don't intermix unless they are having threesomes (which is not as common as people might imagine.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 06:48 PM
561

She lives in the same house and he alternates nights with them? Baby that's not polyamory, that's POLYGAMY. You went so far into progressive kinkdom that you ended up square in Latter Day Saints Land 🤣🤣😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 05:51 PM
73

This is such a horrible story but I'm so glad you were so prepared to walk away. Most women would've let it slide and be unhappily married to this day. We don't usually advocate telling men how they fucked up but in this case I probably would have said "I'm leaving you because your behaviour has changed towards me and I will not tolerate the way you're treating me. I believe you have been ingesting red pill content and acting accordingly. Please know that that is why you're losing the best thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 05:51 AM
331

My sister's LV husband does this to her all the time. The three of us went on a hike last summer that ended up being longer and more arduous than we anticipated and at one point we were actually lost. He was constantly blazing ahead of us, sometimes almost out of sight. He and I are both taller (longer legs) and more outdoorsy than her so if we both had just gone at our own pace we could have easily left her behind in the woods. I personally subscribe to the wolf pack philosophy of NEVER letting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:51 PM
22

Wow I was INFURIATED watching this 🤣😭🤬🙄 Also what is the obsession with "makeouts", what are they, in high school?? 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:37 PM
263

"Queer-coded" Disney villains is a long tradition (Scar is a bitter old queen and Ursula was literally modeled after drag legend Divine) but Hades definitely wins the award for most flaming... 🥁😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:59 AM
26

What does the first sentence even mean?? I'm sure it's gross but I genuinely can't figure it out...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:58 AM
60

I disagree. To me it's most reminiscent of the Block Parent programs that neighbourhoods used to have when I was growing up - families would be vetted, background checked, etc, and they would get a sign that said Block Parent that they could put in their window. All the kids were taught that the sign meant they were safe houses to go to if they felt they were in danger, being followed, needed help from an adult, etc. The sign says "this is a safe place and if you ask for help we will give it to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 12:33 AM
58

Sounds like he isn't really attracted to her at all because she's "bigger", he's literally just using her as a bangmaid companion. He watches so much porn and IG models that he thinks that is the only way to be a desirable woman. He's SHOCKED that other men are attracted to her since she doesn't fit his own pornsick standard, and he never stopped to think for one second whether HE fits anyone else's beauty standard... Obviously not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 09:26 PM
376

This is a huge part of why our intuition is so key. It's usually not based on some woo-woo feminine mystique, it's literally your brain seeing and recognizing microexpressions that are invisible to the naked eye - too fast for you to register them consciously, just enough for you to get an ~off~ feeling about someone. Your gut instincts are REAL and based on science. LISTEN to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:23 PM
130

Aw, it wasn't that exciting haha. I think he was just kind of like "wait, but... um, I guess you're right. nvm..." Verbal equivalent of slinking away lmao. I wasn't saying it to screw with him either, my brain just works that way! It was the only logical thing. Literally HOW could he think he could have another partner when just giving me breadcrumbs of attention was such a burden?? Meanwhile I'm always wanting more from him, so sure, you wanna share the load (lol) and let some other guys pick u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 09:16 AM
15

It sounds like you should use FWB parameters until you feel ready for commitment. In this instance I would still look for someone who treats you very well and you find attractive but you can perhaps be more flexible if they have some drawbacks like an overly involved mother, a stalled career, etc. Basically non-personality related things that might be dealbreakers in a potential fiance but don't affect a more casual sex friend relationship. It's still very important to keep your standards high, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:33 AM
58

I feel we deserve a storytime post about this! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:49 AM
33

Rosa from Brooklyn 99? I think this kind of anti-feminine, tough and chilly demeanour is pretty effective with men as much as it sucks to have to change your whole being. Kind of a low level grey rock at all times. Save your personality for your actual friends I guess, men can't take feminity seriously...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:43 AM
398

When my LV emotionally withholding workaholic ex mentioned non-monogamy I was basically like "well, it might make sense for me to have a few more partners. You certainly can't though." Reasoning? He is allegedly already giving everything he has to give to a relationship right now to me. He's allegedly giving 100% and it's only meeting, say, 50% of my needs (wanting more quality time, more dates, etc, etc). It might make sense for ME to start seeing someone else to make up for YOUR shortcomings, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:39 AM
58

The slot machine analogy of intermittent rewards is such a good one, great reminder that No Contact means none, never ever. Even replying back once to say "fuck off" is giving them a win and an in. You didn't decide to go NC for no reason. You have no reason to go back on it. (Dealing with this right now in fact, been NC from my abusive narc dad for years and OUT OF THE BLUE last week I got a package on the doorstep. No note attached but he sent me a useless item worth several hundred dollars, j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 08:16 AM
124

I found some INCREDIBLE before and afters of male hair units (human hair wigs are glued on and styled), there is literal WIZARDRY available with no pain, no drugs, no side effects and no surgery if a man cares enough to invest the time and money to maintain it. THERE'S NO EXCUSE! If you look hot with a shaved head and feel confident then rock it. Otherwise don't mope, whine, and say there's nothing you can do. You absolutely can address it. If he wanted to, he would...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:57 AM
5

Totally! I was working with owls, eagles, hawks and falcons, they all got defrosted rodents! We'd also sprinkle a supplement on as well to help cover all the nutritional bases for them. An animal won't starve itself over a lack of live prey unless something else is really wrong (depression, illness, etc). When they get hungry they will eat! Birds especially don't tend to be as finicky as reptiles in my experience. I also took care of a corn snake, I noticed he was not so keen on his dead mice so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 03:37 AM
478

I'd say if you yourself glowed up from a fairly LVW to a HVW then it may be permissible. Losing weight wouldn't do this per se, but maybe you started going to the gym to help with your depression. Maybe you got some therapy for it too. Maybe all that combined with the weight loss boosted your self esteem and you started dressing better, putting in more effort. Maybe you got a more positive outlook over all, your whole energy and demeanor changed and eventually you became the proverbial "whole ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:35 PM
63

I worked at a wildlife rehab centre and we never did live feedings as a matter of policy. It's unnecessarily cruel to the prey animals and also risks the predator getting injured by the prey animal or the prey animal escaping and the predator going hungry. People who do make and/or watch videos of live feedings are sadists, period. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:36 AM
9

They actually published The Bro Code IRL, it was an actual book you could pay real money for! Men could literally buy and read it and model themselves after him for real *shudder*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:38 AM
6

There are some really good sex worker support services and centres that do outreach, good charities to donate to. You can research what operates in your area. You can't really "save" someone who's not ready to be saved, same as you can't make an addict quit who isn't ready to quit. These centres give them a safe place to go if they need it, free toiletries, period supplies, condoms (and sometimes clean needles), non-judgemental counselors to talk to, supports to find new legit jobs if/when they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 05:17 PM
239

Barney Stinson of HIMYM is even worse although it's openly acknowledged that he's terrible YET his friends (including married woman Lily) still love and support him so of course we the audience are meant to forgive his short-comings (i.e. disgusting misogyny/borderline criminal/serial rape-by-deception behaviour) too. Ted is obviously pretty LV as well but I think Marshall is quite a HVM as far as fictional characters go. Thoughts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 04:20 AM
131

What happened next? Did you leave right away? Confront him? Text him again? Very curious to hear the rest of the story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 04:15 AM
179

Depends on the area you are in, different states and countries have different laws about levels of nudity and touching. In some the thong stays on and they dance three feet away from the guy but in many the dancers will be fully nude, fully sitting on the man's lap, touching him everywhere and grinding on his erection and he can touch her everywhere except the "G-string area". Kissing is usually not allowed but in many places there are "extras girls" who will also perform various sex acts for mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 11:59 PM
170

YEP! I'm an introvert shut-in but I know I'm not about to meet any men like that!! Sitting here with my hair rolled up right now getting ready to go out tonight and fight the good fight 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 06:58 PM
18

"-Sent free from TextNow.com" jfc what a loser!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:01 AM
7

I literally gasped aloud when I read what he said. That is the most disgusting thing I've seen all week. I would report him, might not actually accomplish anything but Hinge tends to be pretty strict so maybe it would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 06:53 PM
278

She literally just said "please tell on yourself" and they complied! Ask and ye shall receive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 06:44 PM
10

If you were fully clothed probably nothing happened below the belt, you might have gotten felt up though. Might have also "just" been a kiss, considering himself a "gentleman", quite possibly someone who was pining for you and thought it was "romantic". I'm really sorry someone did that to you and that you can never get clarity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 02:56 AM
36

I didn't watch that video even though I follow the Try Guys. Ariel and Ned's brand especially is so wholesome, loving, and focused on parenthood I do not need to see her being "sexy". I believe y'all have sex! You have multiple kids! You seem to worship and adore her! You don't need to prove she's "hot" and "desirable" to the rest of the world, that just turns into the Married Pick Me ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:19 PM
5

My take away from this video is that heterosexuality is broken and homosexuality is the answer 😂😂😭🤔🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:12 PM
152

Thank God for the edit, I was literally like "how in the HELL did someone with a RS flair do all this??" 😂😂😂 This is why I'm getting my newly-ready-to-date-again mom into FDS AND having her take an IRL dating course. I'm not having my successful, brilliant, caring 60 year old mum running around wasting her time and energy on LVM (especially since my dad was NV and abusive, she needs a fresh start for sure). We need to look out for the beloved older ladies in our lives! When they become single af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:05 PM
154

Confused why you didn't call the police? If this person is actually biting women like the zombie apocalypse they need to be held accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 08:07 PM
50

This is true tea, my dad is a NV abuser and a lawyer and he had an [older female] secretary who basically ran his life and allowed him to succeed despite his raging drug problems. When she finally up and left for greener pastures he ran through new ones like toilet paper because none of them were up to his "standard" (i.e. being his mind-reading indentured ass-wiper) and/or they couldn't deal with his insane toxicity. He eventually crashed and burned at work, who knows if he'd still be getting a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:06 PM
11

Is he sharing this to shame himself for not paying?? 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:59 PM
42

The Bachelor is quite literally the Pick Me Olympics. Even before I could articulate that I never cared for the format, although the Bachelorette has been a guilty pleasure at times. One HVW with a harem of attractive men vying for her attention - as it should be!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:56 PM
29

Sometimes you gotta throw the whole family away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:37 PM
2

I was in a 6 year on-and-off situationship with my LVX (🤡) and when we kind of got back together the most recent time he said something to the effect of "well I thought how nice it would be to have someone through this long winter/lockdown". I even said to him "um okay so you don't even want to be with ME, you just want to have someone to bubble with and fuck while you can't go on Tinder dates??" BTW I've been NC with him for close to a year now and I never thought I could be that strong before!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:03 PM
5

Responded to someone about this yesterday, it's the Female DATING Strategy ffs. The Level Up sub exists if you don't want dating related content but we're not about to take the D out of FDS 😏😏😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:46 PM
23

The sub is Female DATING Strategy, this is meant to be about dating, period. Maybe the sister Level Up sub would be a better spot if you're exclusively seeking that kind of content? I agree that having more strategy and less depravity would be great but we're not about to take the D out of FDS (lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 05:22 AM
636

She should have walked up to them and told his "girlfriend" what happened then and there. Even if they are in an "open relationship" he fully misrepresented himself and lied to this other woman for the sole purpose of having sex with her which is the absolute antithesis of "ethical monogamy", not to mention it's even more likely that he's just cheating on her point blank. Trash like that needs to be taken out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 04:10 AM
61

I wish Reddit supported GIFs... This calls for a Dave Chappelle "Boo this man!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 08:06 AM
1

100% this, this guy should have been blocked at the FIRST red flag, not the next in the long line of them. Continuing to "give him a chance" and engage, and really to do this chatting with random men thing at all, is giving major pick me energy OP. You could use this time and energy to foster female friendships IRL or do literally anything else babe, time to reconsider if this habit is really serving you and who you want to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 03:55 PM
27

"Halal girlfriend", gross. Low standards truly be everywhere!! Maybe Western media really IS the root of all moral decay and corruption 🤔🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:03 AM
38

This is basically the Buddhist tenet of non-attachment! You should look into their teachings, it might resonate with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 07:22 AM
406

I mean, she's doing everything wrong per FDS. Two extreme low effort dates followed by sex and immediate cohabitation. 0% vetting, 100% forever girlfriend/bangmaid. If it works for her more power to her but we have no idea what their lives are like behind the scenes. Doubtful she has what we're looking for. Regardless, sounds like they deserve each other. One less scrote for us babes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:36 PM
68

I get the humour and understand the sentiment, but it comes from an immature and maladapted place of "he hurt me so I want to hurt him". The true path is to say "he hurt me so he no longer has the privilege of being in my life, period. His feelings have no meaning to me. I will not waste a single second trying to 'win', trying to one-up him, trying to make him feel hurt, sorry, or anything else. He is literally dust in the wind to me now, a part of my past, and that's how he'll always be forever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:30 PM
20

What a horrible story. I'm so glad she had supportive women in her life who took action to save her when she couldn't save herself. I love their addendum at the end. Silent no more, legal threats can't erase the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:01 AM
75

I have always despised "devil's advocate men". It's a huge red flag for me now. My LVX would try it sometimes but I shut that shit down so completely that he stopped lol, I was not about to hear a single second of it. Remember dudes, when you're being "the devil's advocate" you're literally advocating for evil. Miss me with that toxic garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:16 PM
7

The age gap is a big red flag too, as is him trying to tie you down so quickly, especially as you say yourself it feels like "a lot" of commitment. "It was awful" how badly he reacted upon hearing you've been on other dates when he'd never asked to be your boyfriend?? RED FLAG!! Read up on lovebombing and other red flags, proceed with extreme caution, and be mentally prepared to drop and block him at the next red flag. Frankly if you take some time to reflect on what's been shared here you will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 08:08 PM
34

"Choose some one course or calling, and master it in all its details, sleep by it, swear by it, work for it, and, if marriage crowns you, it can but add new glory to your labor." This reminds me of Marie Curie! She met Pierre through her work and she would have accomplished everything she did anyway had they remained professional partners and not married and had a family. Those were just new glories to her labour. She didn't need a man but she found one, and it made her life richer, but her worl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 07:44 PM
11

Queen shit!! 🙌👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:58 AM
112

A "relationship" with a 19 year old that has lasted "at least 2 years" this man is a whole PEDOPHILE, the advice she received should have been "call the police." Columnist talking about "he's going to get taken to the cleaners" as if this girl is using HIM, where is the care and concern for the CHILD he GROOMED?? Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:48 PM
88

Where I live if you cohabitate as a couple for two years you are common law married (married in the eyes of the law) whether you sign papers or not. He will be entitled to your property the same as if you'd had a ceremony. "Just" living together? No such thing baby girl! Not to mention it's FAR more difficult to disentangle yourself and leave if you moved in too early and his mask slips to reveal abuse. Had this happen TWICE as a very young woman and because I had moved in to flee abuse at home …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 03:04 AM
85

Article Text: Only Fans is Not a Safe Platform for "Sex Work". It's a Pimp. By Catharine A. MacKinnon Ms. MacKinnon is a lawyer, scholar, writer, teacher and activist. She teaches law at the University of Michigan and Harvard Law School and works for sexually violated people around the globe. We are living in the world pornography has made. For more than three decades, researchers have documented that it desensitizes consumers to violence and spreads rape myths and other lies about women’s sexua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:55 PM
7

Exactly. Ma'am why are you complaining about lack of ambiance after the fact?? You tell him as an explanation for why you ran TF away 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:37 PM
15

As a daughter of a NV Kevin I FIRMLY believe basically every Kevin in existence is trash and I support this 1000% lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:15 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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