~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Is it illegal to talk about my divorce?No, it is not illegal to speak about your divorce. However, there may be particular matters between you and your lawyer that are privileged that should not be communicated to third parties to whom the attorney client privilege does not attach lest the privilege be waived, so really brother, just shut the fuck up about the details of your divorce and only speak to those you absolutely trust with your life, and even then, sparingly. If you need to get shit off your chest, use this forum, a therapi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/22 11:54 PM |
| 11 | [deleted by user]I’ve been there. I know exactly what it feels like when 5 dollars is the difference between making it and complete disaster. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing. God is with you. Rely on Him and continue to take action. When the bitterness and despair comes, which it will, I have found a good way of escaping that is to secretly do something kind for somebody else and ensuring nobody else knows about it. It could be as simple as having a conversation with somebody you can see is strug… | /r/seduction | 26/12/21 03:45 PM |
| 9 | Need help understandingYour kids will be fine. Get a divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/21 05:59 AM |
| 2 | ThanksgivingThat is the thing, your brain has been soaking in toxicity for so long that you don’t realize that you don’t need a “good come back” or to even engage your so-called wife at all. If you are in such a manipulative relationship and you are so unhappy and she is not supportive of you and resents that you have a healthy relationship with your mother, who based on your provided information is supportive of you and has helped you, then what the fuck are you doing? Why are you wallowing away in misery?… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 04:40 PM |
| 1 | Turns out is was her all alongYou’re probably just effing around. But in case you are not, don’t even engage in that petty bullshit. Lawyer up, preserve all of the documentation regarding the extramarital affair, protect your finances, and start making wise decisions. Invest in yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/21 07:13 AM |
| 1 | I am a divorced dad, but I need advice on a new relationship where I have to either commit to emotional change or end the relationship.Brother, may you find peace. I too am searching for it myself. I think we will always have trials in this life. However, we cannot be fools and overlook the wisdom we have gained by repeating past behaviors. And we cannot allow ourselves to suffer through poor relationships where our needs are not being met just because of our fears. I hope you find the same joy and contentment that I want for myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/21 08:26 PM |
| 9 | I am a divorced dad, but I need advice on a new relationship where I have to either commit to emotional change or end the relationship.Did you not learn anything from your previous experience? Apply the hard-earned wisdom of the past and TRUST YOUR GUT! Why on earth would you subject yourself or your child to this nonsense. You did not leave Egypt and wander the desert of self-disovery for the proverbial 40 years only to arrive in bondage, continued manipulation (that is what this is), and misery. This woman helped you transition through a hard time in your life, however, she wants your wings permanently damaged. Again, you alr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/21 01:23 PM |
| 2 | The guilt and anger are killing me, so frustrated not sure what to do.GTFO! | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/21 02:15 AM |
| 1 | She Waited 6 WeeksI hope things work out for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/21 12:54 AM |
| 1 | She Waited 6 WeeksGet rid of the video games. You are a man, not a boy. Turn to audio books and go for long long long long walks at night when it is dark as fuck and nobody else is around and zone out. About it being uncomfortable, I understand, but you’ll need to man the fuck up and move past that shit. Find a way. Making it your goddamn life’s mission to find a fucking way at any cost. You’re a slave to your mind. You need to reorder your thinking. You do that by doing everything differently. The days of retrea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/21 02:52 AM |
| 2 | How do you get back on your feet after a divorce?Provided, of course, she concurs with submitting the cause of action to binding arbitration and even then you will still be bound to the arbitrator’s award decision. Newsflash, the discovery process still takes place in Alternative Dispute Resolution process and depending on the arbitrator deciding your matter, you could still get fucked, so the idea that you simply hand the arbitrator the agreement of the parties and they adopt that as the binding arbitration award is fantasy. I’m telling you, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/21 03:29 AM |
| 4 | How do you get back on your feet after a divorce?You make all the money, she is an unemployed person that stays at home, and yet, you are moving out of the home? Huge rookie mistake. Get a lawyer ASAP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/21 03:00 AM |
| 3 | Can I ask you married men a question? SERIOUS QUESTION 😳Hit the road | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/21 03:56 AM |
| 4 | Is there a support group similar to AA that I can participate in? Feeling lonely and fearful.I read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy and in it the author mentioned men’s groups. Would definitely like to hear more from the dudes on this sub regarding this topic. But truthfully, it is really up to us, if we want a men’s group in our local area, we need to start them. Yeah, that shit takes time and effort, so there is that, but cost benefit etc. yada yada. Anybody got some thoughts or experience with this other than the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous? I’m presuming there are other friends… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/21 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Kid was puking - went to "save the day" - codependency is shitYou’ll do better next time. You’ve made a lot of progress. We are our harshest critics. Put the clubs away, be good to yourself, and keep your eyes on the horizon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/21 04:47 AM |
| 2 | Freedom tastes weirdAlso, priceless: your “emotional well being at an all time high”. Seriously, although shit may not be perfect, it never will be, look back and see the contrast between how you feel today and living in that dungeon so many of us were rotting away in for so long. So genuinely happy for you, brother. Keep the trajectory trending upward with action. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 11:18 PM |
| 4 | Guilty feeling like never before.Was there a legitimate reason for missing it? If so, shit happens. Don’t beat yourself up. If not, do better. Also, regardless, don’t delay, make sure you deliver on that special dinner you mentioned to him as soon as possible. Perhaps this weekend. You will feel better about it and it will be a promise kept, which builds reliability and ultimately trust. Doing nothing and just feeling guilty about it is not an option. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/21 05:09 AM |
| 1 | Things are hardTo Thine Own Self Be True. There you will find whatever happiness means to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/21 05:28 PM |
| 2 | Daughter wants mom.Totally normal behavior like all the others have stated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/21 04:38 AM |
| 1 | Remember: YOU'RE the prize.You left out the part about your girlfriend’s cock pounding your ass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/21 04:34 AM |
| 2 | Things are hardThere is nothing wrong with utilzing your experience as an opportunity to learn and evolve. Obviously, you never want to find yourself in this situation ever again, so to not draw wisdom and whatever lessons you can would be foolish. Writing a letter to your stbxw, admitting mistakes, etc., especially during the pendancy of legal proceedings, would be a really really foolish move. Do not follow that advice if you are in the heat of divorce litigation. There are other ways to deal with resentment… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/21 04:14 AM |
| 5 | Question Regarding ChildrenI’m so very sorry you are going through this right now. You absolutely must retain an attorney asap to protect yourself and your children. Clearly, if she completely abandoned you and the kids and just wants to show up and take the kids, there is no telling what she may do, she is not acting in accorance with how mentally sound individuals act or how rational and reasonable adults with children act, so please please please retain legal counsel asap to avoid a scenario where she runs off with you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/21 06:50 PM |
| 7 | Being watchedFree yourself and create a new account or a throwaway account. You appear to be overly invested in her interest in your activity and divesting yourself of this connection to her will completely eliminate her from your social media activity. The fact that you even made this post does show that you have some work to do on that front. I have flaws too. Many of them and I have work to do too to be free of resentment, so I can’t really throw any stones. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/21 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Uncontested DivorceNo, you are not pathetic, not one bit, my brother. Not one fucking bit. You are simply in a hard spot right now because somebody that you put your trust in betrayed you, probably manipulated you, and is most likely still manipulating you through a proposed uncontested divorce action to avoid fault grounds based on infidelity, which would leave her with much less financial recourse against you. You love your betrayer because, as you said, she is all you know. So through your own admission, you mu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/21 04:11 AM |
| 4 | Uncontested DivorceYou were in a marriage with this person, owned a home with this person, had children with this person, and she betrayed your trust and fucked another man, correct? And you are hemming and hawing about consulting a lawyer because you want to keep the peace? I am saying this with nothing but love my brother - snap the fuck out of it, man up, and consult a lawyer to ensure you are covering your ass now, not later. The time for keeping the peace has ended. You now need to look out for your best inte… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/21 03:44 AM |
| 5 | Uncontested DivorceBest thing you can do for yourself is to consult an attorney regarding the particulars of your planned uncontested divorce case to ensure you are protecting yourself to the maximum extent practicable. Do not walk into this shit blind and do not half ass this shit. We’re talking about your financial welfare for the remainder of your life - leave no stone unturned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/21 02:35 AM |
| 2 | I keep having second thoughts but my gut is telling me that I’m doing the right thing…Here are the objective facts as you set them out: your “wife” does not contribute to your so-called partnership, she insults your family, complains about you and her life and her happiness, fantasizes about life with her ex, flirts with other men, and she left you twice - all while you were working full time to support her and keep the home above water? Do you know if she was seeing other men or was unfaithful to you during the separation? Dude, your “wife” left you - TWICE. And you took her bac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/21 02:18 AM |
| 1 | Unstable and custodyI understand that you are struggling and in a bad spot and reaching out and you should continue to do so on this subreddit. With that being said, the absolute best thing you can do in this situation is speak to your lawyer. Prior to speaking to your lawyer, short of recording her, you can certainly start keeping a log of your interactions with your stbxw and writing down pertinent information regarding her mental fits. Additionally, when you speak to your lawyer, presuming you have one, get one … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/21 12:54 AM |
| 2 | Found out my wife has been cheating for the last 10 days.Brother, if you are up and down with shit, probably best not to make any moves or to make any decisions just yet to reveal shit to the kids until you know in your heart it is the right move. Only you can make that decision based on the best information you have. And yeah, it’s perfectly okay to contemplate and reflect on how to proceed when the welfare of your children are concerned, which already distinguishes you and demonstrates the contrast between you and your stbxw. You see, man, you are o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 04:20 AM |
| 3 | Found out my wife has been cheating for the last 10 days.Examine your motives. Is telling the children about your wife’s affair about your hurt feelings or about maintaining their welfare? Best of luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 03:42 AM |
| 10 | Cheating Wife - Abandoned Kids and MeMy brother, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your chain of command or your chaplain or somebody you trust know what is going on with you at home. You don’t have to struggle with this shit alone. You absolutely will not lose out on promotion, school seats, or other shit just because you reached out for help when you had a life event like this go down. I don’t know where you are at in your career or your MOS but wouldn’t you want to know if one of the men in your company were going t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 03:17 AM |
| 1 | Really hard to post this but your posts have given me courageI understand. While I don’t know your particular circumstances, you will be amazed at the sense of relief that you feel when you share what you are feeling or going through with a trusted friend or family member. Yes, you are going through a hard time, but you cannot just wallow in self pity and pain and depression forever. You need to man up and be accountable for yourself and for your daughter, she will need a strong man in her life. Dude, you are 40. Do you really think your life is over? Tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/21 02:22 AM |
| 4 | introduction time OR parting time? Or is there another option/way to look at this?Trust your gut and protect your children. Period. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/21 04:20 AM |
| 1 | How to Present Impermissible Benefits?Asking for a friend, huh? So opposing counsel’s only relationship to the school is that they have children that attend the school? How exactly would these legal services constitute an impermissible benefit and place the stbxw in an ethical quandry with her employer? Perhaps if the lawyer’s children were students of the stbxw, otherwise, without additional facts, not much to see here. Private citizens are allowed to accept free legal services, which lawyers regularly do offer for a variety of rea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/21 03:54 AM |
| 4 | Boundaries vs Open HousePiss your pants like a god damn man. You don’t need to be moping your ass into your ex wife’s house for any reason. Stop lingering around. Drop off the kids and get your ass in your car and drive away. Stop calling her to talk about movies and video games - find some new hobbies that involve physical activity and other people. Stop giving a shit about her dumb ass cat. Sorry dude, others may want to coddle you, but given what you described, your ex wife completely dominates you, which is limitin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/21 09:18 AM |
| 9 | FinancesDo not tell her or thank her for putting that in writing. Allow her to continue to provide you and your lawyer with evidence. Also, speak to your lawyer about all of these so-called demands. The laws of your state may have specific rules governing contested divorce actions, fault grounds concerning infidelity, etc. that may all play into alimony and support etc. If she moved out and left you with the kids at home, start keeping track of all of the expenses related to your kids in a place she can… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/21 08:14 PM |
| 4 | Losing my mindNo worries! I ate a Chinese dude last week! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/21 04:41 AM |
| 33 | Losing my mindHold on, guy. It was planned for you to be there to accompany your child to check on the pet, and you “conveniently” found some bullshit specifically left out in the open? Sounds like some calculated manipulation that now has your brain running overtime. Fuck that noise. Sure, talk to your therapist, but put a lid over the rabbit hole, enjoy your weekend, and stop letting her continue to fuck with your mind. Think about it man, she left a book out that she knew you would see, it got you all work… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/21 04:00 AM |
| 1 | Change of Religion Leads To DivorceGood luck | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/21 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Cause for concern?Great advice. Thank you for sharing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/21 09:24 PM |
| 1 | Change of Religion Leads To DivorceOk, look, stop putting money in the church basket and start saving up for a lawyer so you can get a divorce from your wife, who you readily admit is a borderline destitute mentally ill person that is making your life miserable. Sure, she has her reasons, valid or invalid, who cares? Move on if that is what you are ready to do. Yes, a civil divorce will be accomplished in accordance with the laws of man. However, here you will need to render unto ceasar like Somebody very important once advised. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/21 09:10 PM |
| 2 | Post divorce experienceShitcan her | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/21 08:27 AM |
| 3 | Who instigated it?The “You must be happy…” or “You get to live your dream life now” nonsense is just another instance of manipulation in a long long long tally of manipulations. Woe is me victimhood nonsense calculated to fuck with your mind so don’t let it. It is her way of completely dismissing any of her own behavior leading to the end of the marriage and trying to paint us as some playboy looking to ditch familial obligations for the joys of bachelor living. Again, it totally disregards what is the likely yea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/21 07:57 AM |
| 7 | Hard Lesson LearnedOne thing I am certain of is this - my happiness, contentment, and sense of fulfillment in this life is not contingent upon anyone else but myself. I refuse to fall prey to the delusion that I need to seek out and find a woman in order to make myself whole. Nothing wrong with companionship and relationships with women if you know yourself, what you want, and most importantly, what you do not want. Jumping back out there and just hooking up with broads is fun, but it’s reckless and an empty pursu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/21 07:45 AM |
| 3 | Shared Photo Account FMLYes, here is my advice. Continue working on your PTSD, not for anyone else but for yourself. If you have not already done so, contact and engage a lawyer immediately. Get up off your ass and do that, do not delay. Accept the fact that she has moved on from you and is now actively seeking out and fucking other dudes. It is a tough pill to swallow, but that is the truth, and you need to operate in the truth, you cannot operate in anything less than that. You have to talk to your lawyer about getti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/21 03:58 AM |
| 3 | If Hell exists, it has absolutely nothing on the horrific nightmare of being married to and subsequently divorcing someone with NPD. This is the 1st time I've ever truly witnessed..., EVIL.Shut up you idiot | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/21 12:23 PM |
| 6 | If Hell exists, it has absolutely nothing on the horrific nightmare of being married to and subsequently divorcing someone with NPD. This is the 1st time I've ever truly witnessed..., EVIL.Shut up you idiot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/21 02:05 AM |
| 6 | I'm reporting my ex-wife's lawyers to the state bar of TexasThis may not sit well with you, but you need to hear it, you come off as a wacky and rambling pro se prison house lawyer and you are wasting your time and energy. Get a real lawyer. You’re making yourself look like a fool and every piece of correspondence you generate is going to be used against you. Opposing counsel is under no obligation to respond to you. If you believe there is a violation of the temporary orders, that is a matter to be filed before the court that issues those orders. I’m so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/21 04:57 AM |
| 5 | The first nights apartMake sure to take knife to that air mattress and cut a piece out of it for yourself and keep it as a reminder of the place from which you came and the place from which you never want to return. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/21 07:59 AM |
| 1 | What’s the dating pool like for a man in his mid 30s?Links or can you define those acronyms so guys like me that don’t want to get caught up with vampires can be armed with garlic and crucifix? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/21 03:54 AM |
| 3 | Just told my wife. I know it's the right decision but it was the hardest thing I ever did (2 kids)We don’t know this man’s situation or what would “be better” for he and his children. Only this man can make that choice. He and his children will live with the consequences of his choice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/21 03:30 AM |
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