Uncontested Divorce

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-24T02:21:20+00:00

It's rarely that simple with minor children. The uncontested divorces supported by actual court rules and procedure typically apply when there are no minor children. And that appears to be the case in Idaho from their website.

That doesn't mean you can't create your own essentially uncontested divorce but there are no procedures that really lock you both into the uncontested process and it's not really abbreviated.

If you're happy with the financial deal, I'd start walking the path with her toward filing and if something happens, you can just go the contested route.

Child support typically flows one way or the other and can't be waived, it belongs to the kids not the parents. So if she really doesn't want child support, the obligation should flow from her to you and you just don't go after her for her arrearage. Otherwise it's a trap.

And also - fuck open parenting time - ambiguity is a weapon. Lock in a schedule and then if you deviate from it, so be it.

Practically, you're in a great position if she wants out. If she also wants to be the parent of convenience and you can handle being the primary caregiver - whether alone or with family support - go for it. Again, nothing prevents you from giving her as much extra parenting time as you feel like or she wants. And on this one I would cite the boyfriend as the reason you're not comfortable with them living with her.

Anyway, speculating and assuming a lot here.

anonymous-bog-trotte · 2021-07-24T02:35:04+00:00

Best thing you can do for yourself is to consult an attorney regarding the particulars of your planned uncontested divorce case to ensure you are protecting yourself to the maximum extent practicable. Do not walk into this shit blind and do not half ass this shit. We’re talking about your financial welfare for the remainder of your life - leave no stone unturned.

aih66 · 2021-07-24T03:18:21+00:00

I did an an uncontested in Ada county last year. Similar situation. Cheater. I got the house. She tried to get me for more $ after everything was signed. I told her to file some if she wanted to modify decree….silence

OriginalFinnah · 2021-07-24T02:29:54+00:00

Are you rich because it sounds like you're giving her a decent amount of not

Corn_in_your_pussy · 2021-07-24T10:32:26+00:00

Idaho is a fault state. If you have evidence of her adultery, that is the reason she wants to settle uncontested.

N8_Nap_Tizzle · 2021-07-24T02:50:24+00:00

She wants to be amicable and not fuck me by making me pay child support. I wasn't really clear in the house situation. We one about 130k and the value is about 400k. The deal is I keep the house and she only wants 100k equity. I'll have to refinance and give her the 100k when I do that. I'll also make sure that when we get to custody we do 50/50. One week each. Then we can modify it between ourselves as needed but I'll have the 50/50 in writing if shit got nasty later for whatever reason. The only thing im worried about is the state somehow forcing child support on me somehow. Maybe we just to do mediation with a lawyer together to make sure everything goes how we agree. Like I said, we both want to be amicable here and honestly I'm making out better here financially if I don't end up with child support. I'm getting the better deal on the home by far.

OriginalFinnah · 2021-07-24T02:31:35+00:00

Also I'm pretty sure because she's cheating if you wanted to take it to court she would probably get next to nothing. Pretty sure that's why she's trying to just offer you to do it uncontested

dkblue1 · 2021-07-24T07:18:12+00:00

I understand others' comments about getting a lawyer, however, if your ex is in affair fog and wanting to be done quick and easy then you don't want to upset her. A lawyer is going to try and manipulate you into pursuing for more (both parties), and it could start a chain reaction.

I'm in a different state, filed uncontested, did everything myself. I went to a lawyer ONE time to go over which documents I need. The lawyer kept asking what assets I had to split, I lied and said "we have nothing". The lawyer asked again, and I looked her dead in the eyes and said "there's nothing to split, we already split everything."

All the forms I needed were online on the state court website. I filled out the settlement agreement. There was a box I checked on the form that says "both parties have split all marital property prior to this agreement." Otherwise it allows you to list all your assets, etc and who gets what. We didn't want to list everything.

I also filled out custody agreement and a parenting agreement. One stated custody arrangement, who was handling health insurance, life insurance, etc. The other provided pick up and drop off times, holidays, vacations, contingencies, babysitters vs right of first refusal, etc.

There were other forms that I filed additionally but these were the big ones.

Got everything notarized, signed by me and ex, then scanned and filed online. Once filed, there was a 45 day wait until the court hearing. The hearing was basically the judge going through the documents page by page with no opinion one way or the other, checking all signatures were in the right place, important parts were filled out (even though court clerks already did this before it made it into judge's hands). The only time she said anything was when she saw I was keeping full physical custody. But that's what we agreed on, so she stamped everything and printed out a divorce decree at the end.

My wife briefly woke up from her affair fog a week after the decree and caused a scene on my front porch " you screwed me! I got screwed!"

Well, one thing I know is judges do not like to go back on their judgements, and other judges don't like stepping on the toes of fellow judges. So I wasn't worried about a modification anytime soon even if my ex got a lawyer.

But not wanting to cause any further drama I told my ex "I got screwed too, my house payment is higher due to the refinance." 😄 that made her feel better.

gorgeexplorer · 2021-07-24T16:53:50+00:00

Lawyer up. You are not in a place emotionally to think clearly enough. There will be some regrets later if you don’t have someone in your corner backing you up. Trust me on this. I’m in that place right now.

Title	Uncontested Divorce
Author	N8_Nap_Tizzle
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	July 24, 2021 2:03 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/oqgqbe/uncontested_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/uncontested-divorce.816422 https://theredarchive.com/post/816422

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