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arcasul Archive

View 5 posts and 86 comments by arcasul on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Me too. Better to raise kids without fights, and if the divorce/separation is the only chance, the little ones will understand.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 04:00 PM
2

Same here, she told me to leave her parents' house and that was the final straw for me. 17 years...
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 03:13 PM
10

Absolutely not, personally.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 05:34 AM
2

you just woke up after years of being married and also after you had children, that he is racist and all the other stuff you say? you are either a troll or you do not think, madam. you have zero accountability, everything is his fault but none yours....you made me laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 06:51 AM
4

I also reported it...
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 01:07 PM
2

After supporting physical violence (more after my son was born) she, after a fight, told me to leave her parents' house, which I did but that was the last straw for me. I am still in court for over 2 years... I do not feel any remorse because I suffered a lot of belittling and dominant behaviour from her side. She even told me she was shocked (after she told me to leave) to find out how unhappy she made me...
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:51 PM
5

everybody lies, even you, so it is nothing outrageous. normal behaviour.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:52 PM
3

some comments I made on social media were used against me in trial by my ex, so yes, no further actions there from my side...
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:51 PM
2

Could u please detail ref agenda? Just to be more aware. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 04:16 AM
3

Well, my ex is talking about "us" meaning her and the child, as I am a foreigner (you may call us, we go outside, we are sleepy etc.). I told her repeatedly to not use this expression since my son is too small to speak so she cannot say they are one person. Really disrespectful (but not the first time for me)
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 09:03 AM
7

Thanks. For now I lost the equivalent of a brand new car, and is not finished. And she spends almost zero, since her income is too low and benefits from pro bono defense. I cannot stop thinking what I could've done for my son with this money... And, in spite of her proposals to be together again for child's sake, I do not want to stay together with an angry b...ch.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 04:23 PM
1

What have you done, if I may ask?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:09 PM
2

actually nobody has any warranty in regards to so's future behavior. so at least a prenup is mandatory, as well as thinking very very much about wanting to have children with that person.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 11:10 AM
1

For me works if I have purpose, objectives. This made me really resilient, because my suffering has started more than 2 years ago and is not yet finished.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:18 PM
4

Well, she assaulted me several times, she doesn't let me see my son...
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:07 PM
8

This was my mistake - thinking she will calm down if we would have a child...totally opposite happened
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 09:10 PM
2

Mine went back to 2007 in order to build me in the eyes of the court as violent and with drinking issues (I drink like once a month and she was the one hitting me every time). So expect this during the divorce. In court, the worst comes out of people, and seems women are very creative.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 11:04 AM
3

I will never understand people în a divorce process which say: i have no problem leaving her x or y. Do you know if, in a reverse situatiin, she will do the same? I wouldn't give anything which is not decide upon. Maybe ylif you retain 50% of the house you will have an easier life. You are the most important from now on, not her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 11:54 AM
2

It happening way too often. I do not know when and if the family laws will change, until then single and divorced men will grow steadily
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 05:57 PM
7

What do you suggest if I have children with a manipulative woman? I feel defenseless
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 12:52 PM
5

I speak to my family and let them know all my emotions. Went to therapist but I don't have money to continue, and I passed the worst with help from my family, even though I am far. Just speaking to them was good.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 07:48 PM
6

I am in a similar situation, completely alone with all my family very far. But try to discover what you like (e.g. I love reading, studying, cycling), you are only 30, you still have time to live a long and happy life. Please do not think at her anymore, it is useless. Just take care of the kids and also try to prepare yourself to find someone else if this is what you desire.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 08:31 AM
5

I wouldn't care. She is not your friend. You may refer to yourself as daddy, and hopefully they will pick up and learn how to address you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:01 PM
8

There is no reason to do that. I am thinking that our parents wanted us to be as happy as possible. There are so many things you could do. You need to live your life in the best manner. No need to end it really.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:13 PM
5

My solution is walking. At least 1 hour per day, listening to something like audio books or whatever you like. Helped me a lot since I am not motivated to work out, as you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 09:01 PM
1

I truly hope so. But the hope is decreasing every day. And my lawyer is not very optimistic.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 02:13 PM
1

it was mandatory, the judge was angry but he simply invited us in FEW MONTHS in court. And the time while I cannot have my son is increasing. I thought I had no chances, but seems that is more and more a certainty.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 01:48 PM
1

Yes: new hearing in September because she was not present (even if it was mandatory). Judge said he cannot allow the 1week/1week system since I was not around my son. So until September our lawyers need to produce an agreement. But my chances are slim because she doesn't want to come back here and in this case I suppose the child will be left to her. My only hope is that I started a forced execution procedure and probably I can get the child with the law in hand. But is all still really uncertai…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 06:21 AM
3

Well the issue is that I have had no possibility to have my child by myself, since he was born. So from my side I proposed various scenarios, all were answered with "the court will decide" so there is actually nothing else for me to do except to wait and hope.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:50 AM
1

I hope the judge will consider my will and the fact I have the means to take care of him in a very good way. She is not working but I am not sure if that is a plus for me (I think not). Anyways, she told me some horrific things in the last 2 years, e.g. "I am sorry I told our son you exist" and similar, and I don't know how I am still here fighting. I am only trying to fight for a better life for my son and nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 07:37 AM
1

she just does not know how to write in the literary way. she probably audio registered and then transformed to text...
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 06:17 PM
9

I would add r/ChildSupport4Men
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:45 PM
6

Indeed. My ex is also from Eastern Europe, and she hit me multiple times, once even threatened me with a knife (moment when I was supposed to leave her for good, but I was stupid). My advice especially for EE women is to analyse their family. In my ex's case, her father was a doormat in a house full of women, and when younger he beaten up all of them because of alcohol. These things are really ugly and have consequences for anyone, but i thought it won't happen anything to me since she was repea…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 01:27 PM
4

i really was re-living my life while reading your thoughts. I prefer the solitude to this impossible-to-please all-round angry woman that i had for 17 years...
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 04:23 PM
2

I initiated because: - I suffered too many verbal and physical violences (to the physical I haven't ever replied), threats of her going to authorities on stupid reasons. Finally she threw me out of her parents' house, and that was the final straw for me, even though we have a beautiful 3yo son that I love. I hope to end the trials this year (fighting since July 2021). - she was too centered on her family and birthplace, she never spent time with me at my family's place during the holidays - she …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 05:07 PM
3

yes, best solution would be a shared custody, in order to grasp the best from both parents.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:35 AM
6

why are we staying so long? I also walked away after 17 years; a lot of people does not understand men like us which are waiting for so many years. Personally I wanted a baby very much, and I hoped that after we'll have him, she will change for the better. It was a wishful thinking. She became a lot worse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 02:25 PM
5

Have you moved forward? I feel like i cannot search for anyone else now or in the future
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 02:14 PM
29

I feel exactly the same and am not even finished with the trials. I am no "incel" but really do not have a need of another person in my home. I am in my late 40s and time is running faster, but still cannot wrap my head around risking my peace again. Don't know what the future will bring, but i am not sure if i will ever actively search for some other woman.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 02:02 PM
4

sooo painful...i cannot really listen everything, it hurts a lot. I will not marry anymore, that's clear. i have a son and we are in trial for his custody, but each day it passes i see more and more that I've stayed with a crazy one...
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:57 PM
1

with a woman Be mad at yourself for y what can i do? my ex told in court that i have another woman (intending the reason of separation is cheating) which is never proved, and that bci am atheist our son will suffer negative consequences
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 07:48 AM
5

In my case she, after our son was born, started to become increasingly aggressive, kicking me every time she thought it was my fault. Final straw? She told me to leave her parents’ house, which i did but that was the end for me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:20 PM
2

Thank you. I think it will help me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 09:00 AM
2

I think this is what i need, to be able to control emotions and also to see what she wants to do. I was stupid enough yesterday, although the past days i didn’t fall in the same trap. I should’ve left long time ago, but i came just to see my baby boy who is really missing me. I am destroyed because i cannot see him bc of her. I hope to overcome this feeling, but not being able to be with him is killing me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:54 AM
1

Well i will take the best lawyer in case i will need, since there are no proofs of this but only her screaming for Police. And from now on, no contact, even though i miss a lot my son. Seems she wants to get him fully, without thinking what my absence will do to him
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:54 AM
1

I didn’t agree but this was the decision (i asked to have my son in another city). Right now she and him are in Eastern Europe and she is obbligated to bring him to Belgium. I tried to avoid all contradictory discussions when our son is there, but seems i didn’t make it
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 10:07 PM
1

Won’t be a next time. She was ordered to bring the child in my country, and I am waiting to see what she will do. I won’t return to her place even though i have a court order allowing me to see my son ONLY AT HER PLACE. Fck that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 09:58 PM
2

I think yes in all countries in the world…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 06:54 AM
1

And even thoug she has nothing now, maybe she thinks the new guy has a situation, or that she could get something from the divorce that will help her. Get a good lawyer and do not give her more than legally required.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 07:48 AM
1

thank you. i will try to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 08:43 AM
1

I had this no contact since she completely interrupted contact for 2 months, twice last year. But i am trying to talk to my son since he is there for 1.5 years
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 02:02 AM
2

I also am worried if i will get to have my son, since i have no help. I will need a nanny but am worried to hire an unknown person. Tough situation…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:57 AM
1

Exactly. I am doing therapy but feel like he is not helping me as i want (is the second i’m trying)
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:13 AM
0

Indeed. But maybe i am still emotional when i see her crying
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:11 AM
2

It is very likely. I am thinking too much maybe. The issue is that i have no close friends or relatives, so i am thinking about it every day
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 07:55 PM
2

I am in an the other side of Europe compared to her country. We are both from her country. I try to get my son with me, far from the war zone (not ukraine but close). I think for my son is better to be in my country, better and more peaceful.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 07:50 PM
-1

Well she threw me out of her parents’ house and didn’t want to go to mediator/notary but only to court. Indeed ahe told me some horrific things but i am picturing myself with my son and her in a total misery…don’t know what to do, maybe there is a guilt because she repeated that i forced her to resignate from her workplace (even though was a reasoned decision of both). Don’t know, maybe she repeated too many times that i abbandoned them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 07:48 PM
2

I am really strggling with my thoughts since i am alone (1,5 years since the trials started)…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 07:27 PM
-9

But she is 47, with no skills, and as (surrogate) mother of my son i cannot see her in the worst misery. Hopefully she will recover, or maybe i am too worried about her after 17 years together
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 05:34 PM
2

MPO = military protection order
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 06:34 AM
10

This happened to me, my ex contacted one of my close work colleagues to get info on the company i work for and how much i gain. Fortunately I was not married but she threatened to sue me in order to have alimony. I was really scared but my lawyers told me what she wants is not possible. (European countries)
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 10:25 AM
3

The issue is, in my case, the age, i am 47 and everyone around tells me to find a woman bc i will remain alone forever. I do not feel the need for a woman now, especially because the trials are not over, and also do not think i will need one…imhope to change, but for now this is what i feel. Maybe i am wrong, who knows…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:45 AM
12

I think saying “because fuck her” is not the proper motivation. You should become better because this is the best for you, this is what we all should do always, or at least tend to. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 10:04 AM
15

I finally see i was not the only one to not be able to transfer simple ideas. This was one of my main reasons of feeling sad in the relationship. How can you go forward if you cannot actually communicate with her? I do not see any reason to stay with such a person, even if there are children. That would be a horrendous life. After she kicked me out, i finally understood it was over no matter what. Now she is struggling, and actually i cared about her wellbeing, but after all the threats and extr…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 07:55 AM
-7

I wouldn’t commit thus act ever and in any circumstances. We need to try to be happy, this is what our parents would’ve wanted. There is always something good to go for, even alone…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 02:25 PM
-7

It is hard for me to understand why someone could end himself. Even in the worst place one thinks he is, life still worth living. I always think my parents gave birth to me in order to have a happy life, so that is what I am trying to achieve, to get as happy as I can be. There are always reasons to be positive and happy.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 09:55 PM
10

This is something all men need to inform about, what will be if divorce happens. I will definitely teach my son to be very prudent in this regard. I am lucky to have not been married, because after we separated my ex told me I managed to get in a better position, and even so she is trying to get some money from me (my lawyers told me she’s crazy)
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 09:04 PM
11

one thing (almost) all men are good at is saving, living with sooo little. it is hard but not that difficult as it is for a woman in the same spot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 09:27 AM
7

For me it was when she told me to leave her parents’ house. It was over then, even though we’ve had fights before. I cannot accept this treatment from anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 07:45 AM
1

I was listening to some black pill videos on youtube, and really frightened me. I stopped watching them since i want at least to try and have another relationship. The future is grim for me. I will try to hit the gym, maybe something will change mentally
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 11:50 PM
27

You did well. I would’ve done the same.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 11:19 PM
1

Yes. The worst is killing, all the others should be punished less than that.
/r/MensRights22/10/22 01:33 PM
-68

Of course. But i am referring to the fact that she didn’t kill someone, to ask a higher period in jail. I think 4 years is good enough, maybe she will understand what she did
/r/MensRights22/10/22 01:02 PM
-130

Look, i understand you, but in the end she didn’t kill anyone, she told a bunch of lies. I think is enough. I wouldn’t immagine someone in jail for 10 years just for saying lies. I think is a good and pretty long period of time when she will not be able to harm anyone.
/r/MensRights22/10/22 11:30 AM
1

Yes, i have 3 lawyers because i have 3 trials. But in Europe is important who gave birth, seems so. I will go even to ECHR if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 03:47 PM
1

no, we are not married. indeed, the eggs are from a donor since my ex is 46, the baby is 2 so we've had him when we were 45. And yes, i paid for everyhting. She told me, after a verbal fight (when she wanted to have the last word and I disagreed) to take my stuff and leave her parents' house, which I did. I am sorry now because I could've take the baby in that moment, but I thought that was the best move (also because this would've mean to fight her physically)...
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 02:00 PM
1

for now he seems to be with natalie viscuso, an american woman from new mexico. so he needs to pay attention to what he will do with her.
/r/MensRights16/10/22 03:56 PM
2

thank you so much for the links. really are helping me understand my ex, seems she is a bd person. and seems my decision to leave her for my health sake is the best.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 04:02 PM
8

look, my ex was doing all these and still after 17 years told me to leave her parents house (not where we were living with our son). So I left, since it was not my house, and started trials for child custody. and still i am the one who abbandoned them. Zero responsibility since I met her. I should've known better, and to not do a child with her. I was weak, desiring a baby too much, and now I will probably pay. By the way, apart from her qualities (cooking, cleaning) she was zero in bed and alwa…
/r/MensRights08/10/22 08:59 PM
5

unless they get us for child support (I will start paying it, thanks myself I didn't marry her). she told me I am lucky we were not married, so you imagine my situation in case we were...
/r/MensRights08/10/22 08:55 PM
3

I have left her (after she said I should leave her parents' house) leaving the 2yo son with her (otherwise the whole village would've come after me). 17 years relationship, fortunately not married. Same as you, I didn't do anything good enough, she said I should not talk to my family unless she is there, she threatened she will throw herself from 12th floor twice, threatened me with a knife and so on... So I decided I could not endure anymore after she asked me to leave, and I eventually started…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 06:31 PM
1

What do you mean? Do you mean what i was saying is depicting a wrong approach? If so, could you advise? Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 05:17 PM
4

Thanks. This is what I think will help me, so the therapy is next. I have the same issue, I see my kid only in videocalls and when she is arguing with me, I either finish the call or the kid starts to yell, which I try my best to avoid. Sometimes though I cannot just stay put and I feel the need to respond. Very tough situation for me, also because I have started an international kidnapping trial and I cannot actually go there to see my kid and play with him (lawyer's advice). Hopefully it will …
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:44 PM
7

my ex is repeating me that i need to go to a shrink to get some help. while she is affirming that she does not need any help. what should i answer? I told her several times she is not a doctor and thus she is not supposed to give advices like this. Any idea? She is very aggressive towards me so I am trying to deescalate anything she may say against me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:09 PM
1

Add the high mortgage and you are done…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 09:00 PM
5

Private schools, i think
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 12:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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