bb8-sparkles Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
209	Be Careful Out There Everyone!!		bb8-sparkles	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 04:46 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise As someone who works with the homeless population, I guess I’m still missing your point. Most homeless people, if they have poor hygiene (most do not), it is usually a temporary state. If someone is chronically unhygienic, then their partner would likely also have poor hygiene.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/08/21 06:10 PM
1	You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise She is talking about attraction and environments, you are talking about hygiene which is entirely different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/08/21 05:34 PM
2	Unattractive people suffer worse life outcomes but men face HIGHER penalties Thanks for the clarification	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/20 12:42 PM
1	Unattractive people suffer worse life outcomes but men face HIGHER penalties except that having a higher IQ than average is the definition of genius	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/10/20 11:34 AM
2	[TEXT breakdown] how to frame first dates directly to your place Agreed. Any man suggesting a woman meet at his place for an initial meeting shows, at the very least, a lack of empathy and situational awareness for a woman’s safety. I wouldn’t want to date a man who was so ignorant of the culture we live in and how that includes safety issues for women. A man with cultural awareness, wouldn’t even think to ask a woman to his place for an initial meeting, because he understands how this is an insensitive move and cares about providing the woman a supported and…	/r/seduction	25/01/20 04:27 AM
2	[TEXT breakdown] how to frame first dates directly to your place 3-days late, but also female. I wouldn’t even decline, it’s an instant block for me.	/r/seduction	25/01/20 04:20 AM
9	I admit I was in a bad mood already and my tolerance was in the NEGATIVE for even the most minimal of perceived manipulations I hate it when they even ask so soon. It’s like— why are you asking? We had no conversation which would lead us to believe we should take this offline. A phone call is absolutely imperative for me before meeting a guy, but I can’t give my number out to everyone. If the guy asks too soon, he is asking everyone and there isn’t even anything about him asking that means that he even likes you.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/01/20 09:08 PM
21	Pathetic MGTOWs use the wall as a cope to try devaluation women who are worlds out of their league, because they’re bitter. Many woman become more beautiful as they age. The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve learned to care for my hair, for example, and it has never looked better!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/01/20 09:02 PM
2	Honestly, any women who doesn’t follow at least one of FDS strategies are playing themselves If someone gave me their number and I did not respond, it means I’m not interested, period. I prefer to take the guys number than to give my own in these types of situations anyway, so it gives me control over who I can choose or not choose to communicate with. Under no circumstance do I want them to approach me multiple times after if I have not reciprocated contact. It will make me uncomfortable and even angry that my personal space is being encroached upon. The type of situations where the gu…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/01/20 07:51 PM
0	Honestly, any women who doesn’t follow at least one of FDS strategies are playing themselves Totally agree with this. I mean, he may see OP again but feel embarrassed and walk the other way.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/01/20 07:28 PM
2	How long should / do you wait before texting them back? ....curious about app timers? I'm very introverted, especially in the winter, and often don't have the social motivation to respond to my texts. Anything that can help organize my messages or my time managing my messages would be appreciated.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/01/20 04:03 PM
9	This wealthy 38M has strict requirements for the privilege of dating him. Too many to post, but “female applicants” must answer ALL questions (A-Z) to even be considered. It’s written like a business proposal, but I’ve seen less strict RFP’s in sales 🤣 He doesn’t have back hair, let us all swoon over him. The worst part is every single one of his requirements is about her appearance. Not one thing about her mind. This isn’t only a man issue, but a societal one.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/01/20 11:54 AM
49	“You don’t want to do that” Because you weren’t direct in expressing what you want. I’d be confused too if someone said to me: “You don’t want to do that” Uh, yes I do. Why is this person telling me what I want and don’t want. It is an ambiguous statement that sets yourself up for failure. If you don’t want him to hold your hand, you tell him directly: “I don’t want you to do that” or “I’m not comfortable with that right now. “ or “please don’t” or “no, thank you” or “I’ll pass” or “no.” There are a million ways to express…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/01/20 06:10 AM
24	All I did was ask him what his does for a living. That was my second message and he sent this 🚩🚩🚩 Sometimes the men say early on ‘let me tell you about myself’ and then proceed to send a wall of text including their resume and life story. I never know what to think of this. It isn’t offensive, but it certainly shows a level of cluelessness- possibly surrounding boundaries, as I don’t feel it is necessarily appropriate to share your life story with someone whom you’ve only exchanged basic pleasantries. I treat it like a red flag.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/01/20 06:10 PM
14	First line in his description was trying to find my soulmate 🙄 Exactly. That’s also why it bothers me so much. Hello— ?!!!I spent time writing a thoughtful profile filled with things that can be commented on that came from my MIND, but instead he is going to choose to ignore all that and focus on the part of me that I have the most limited control over. I always read a persons profile and try to comment on something that he wrote. It isn’t difficult to do!! it is really disillusioning that this type of behavior is the exception, rather than the rule. My exp…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/01/20 05:57 PM
19	First line in his description was trying to find my soulmate 🙄 Fucking disgusting. I’d have blocked immediately. I worry that my safety may be in jeopardy from any man who sees absolutely nothing wrong with saying things like that to a complete stranger. And then instead of owning it, he gaslights and calls the woman crazy. I would report him to the app for harassment. This is the kind of treatment that is still in the realm of acceptance, but that eats away a woman’s confidence, sense of security and wellbeing in the world. I know the culture on OLD is dif…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/01/20 05:12 PM
3	The “Hinge” dating and relationships app (among others) is bullshit. I like Hinge the least of all the apps. It doesn’t even give you space to write something meaningful. I barely check it anymore.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/01/20 01:19 PM
20	What do y’all think? Trying to decide if I’m being pickmeisha Don’t waste your time. Just block. Every time I responded to someone who was disrespectful to me, I always regretted it later. You’re better than that. You don’t have time to waste even thinking about someone like him. Don’t give him the slightest satisfaction that he is even on your mind	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/01/20 02:00 PM
9	Red flags on tinder I get it. I can deal with tattoos, but if it extends to their neck, it’s a red flag for me.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/01/20 07:30 PM
8	Red flags on tinder Why are tattoos a red flag?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/01/20 05:11 PM
2	Saw this on fb she said they messaged on tinder for 2 hours I’m just glad she stopped responding to him!!! I recently had something very similar happen over a missed phone call—way to dodge a bullet!!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/01/20 01:35 PM
2	Is having a three strike rule too pickmeisha? For me strike one is when I mention the problem; strike two— I give the benefit of the doubt, sometimes it takes a minute to change and we all make mistakes; strike three and you aren’t even trying.....	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/01/20 03:11 AM
4	Bumble and the wall I think it’s mostly genetics to be honest. I’ve always looked over 10 years younger than my age. I don’t have any skin care regimen. I don’t even use lotion. If my face is dry, I will put some Vaseline on it at night. Only sunblock if I’m gonna spend time out during the day. I do, however, maintain my weight primarily through diet and I supplement exercise. I’m very slim, especially for my age, and that also contributes to my youthful appearance. I don’t smoke or use drugs other than what is pre…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/01/20 06:26 PM
40	Man realizing what the majority of women go through everyday As a woman with a long commute, I always wondered how people were supposed to manage it all too, lol. I certainly struggle.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/01/20 06:04 PM
10	Really pause and think if it’s even worth arguing about #kickhimout2020 So true. It’s because many men are trying to manipulate the situation and gas light women into thinking that they are the problem so they don’t have to take accountability. It all stems from a fundamental lack of respect.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/01/20 04:59 AM
2	Advice needed : first two dates with what seems to be a HVM. I'm a recovered pickmeisha, fighting old reflexes. I also struggle with this.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 02:50 PM
64	I think my mum and this sub might have saved me from something possibly quite sinister. And OP is young and non-assuming— he sensed that. OP an intentional target. This makes me so sad. I’m so glad OP was smart enough to not fall victim. I’m afraid for the next young woman.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 02:47 PM
72	Advice needed : first two dates with what seems to be a HVM. I'm a recovered pickmeisha, fighting old reflexes. Its been two dates and you are having doubts. This is the time when he is on his best behavior and you guys are trying to impress each other. He’s so into you that he doesn’t respond to your texts in a timely manner. Doesn’t seem like he is trying to impress you. The doubts you’re feeling? That is your gut talking. Listen to it. Get out before you’re too emotionally invested. Its been two dates and you are already dissatisfied and want to ‘reprimand’ him— You blocking him permanently is the only…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 02:31 PM
26	Strategy: How to handle "wanna hang out?" I guess I’m the only one who prefers coffee dates for the first time when meeting someone on OLD. I actually turn down dinner dates and turn them into coffee dates. I just don’t want to waste anymore than 45-1 hour with someone who I am probably not going to like or who won’t like me. Also, I know myself and I would rather die than endure an entire dinner with someone who’s company I don’t care for. I prefer to keep it simple. For me, it’s just an introduction. If I met the person in the wild (a…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 02:23 PM
12	Strategy: How to handle "wanna hang out?" When it comes to men and dating I choose to be as direct as possible. There is already sooooo much ambiguity involved; I want to know that I am doing everything on my end to be crystal clear about my expectations. If you make a response like that— how do you know he won’t think you are trying to tell him that you want a FWB situation? Even if he does ask you out on a date after you’ve said that— now you are both going into the date with potentially different expectations— You aren’t actually tel…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 02:14 PM
6	I(21F) need help deciding if I should stay in a relationship with my fiance(28M) or if he's not really committed to me Agreed; marriage can end one of three ways: a- you guys are a great match and you live a relatively satisfactory life together until one of you dies b- it ends with a soul crushing divorce c - it doesn’t end with divorce but the relationship is unhealthy and you aren’t living up to your potential for attaining personal relationship satisfaction with the right partner Marriage is supposedly forever, so why rush it? At the very least, why not wait another couple of years for the issues to sort the…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 01:55 PM
11	How to I subtly come across as sexy without it being obvious that that’s what I’m trying to do I think you’re overthinking this. Like another poster said...being sexy is about you. For me, being sexy isn’t about being ‘sexy’ I don’t ‘try’ to be sexy It’s about me enjoying myself and having fun. It’s about the anticipation of what’s to come. It’s the little things leading up to it- putting on nice smelling lotion; putting on a cute dress; putting on lipstick; hell- some days it could just be taking a shower and putting on a clean pair of underwear. It’s not about feeling sexy necessarily (…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 01:27 PM
30	Saw this on fb she said they messaged on tinder for 2 hours don’t forget about him feeling entitled to call her ‘baby’	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 01:13 PM
5	Is this unreasonable? But it couldn’t hurt to have couples therapy, right? I heard a podcast once (or maybe it was a magazine article) about a woman discussing how she and her boyfriend ended up in couples therapy pretty much since the beginning of their relationship (I don’t recall the circumstances that brought them there). Anyway, she was talking about how they have an amazing relationship. And they joke that their therapist is part of their relationship. So....I think something like that is more realistic of an a…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 01:03 PM
68	Saw this on r/niceguys. Why is it acceptable for men to abuse and harass women online with absolutely no repercussions?! 😡 The crazy part is that this isn’t even exceptional— probably all of us have experienced a similar interaction. I know I have....many times. And like OP, I was polite and respectful to the other party. It is part of our society and although most people would agree this is offensive and disrespectful, it is still within the realm of non-alarmist standard acceptable behavior for a man...something that should be expected. In fact, even in this post, we are blaming the woman by saying her “mistake” w…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/01/20 12:53 PM
19	I am not a sweet girl. You know why? Because I’m not a puppy or a child. Up your game, “boys.” I’m on the same page as you. The guy may have meant it in a harmless way, but after sifting through dozens of messages where men objectify you and tell you how lovely and beautiful you look while literally ignoring every single thing that came from my MIND that I’ve written in my profile..... yeah, it’s a little offensive, and I start calling people out on it. I’d definitely be offended by a remark saying they are looking for a ‘nice girl’’. And telling me that I seem like I am nice.?? Based upo…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/01/20 10:35 PM
12	Sums it up I’ve never been sent one, thank goodness. If the guy says he wants to send me some pictures and asks for my number, I lie and tell him I work for the local prescient and ‘do you still want to send over unsolicited sexual photos?’. I also try to freak them out by telling them I will be conducting an investigation on their behaviors.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/01/20 10:01 PM
8	Is this guy serious? No follow-up, extended silence: that’s a hard no from me. (In which a new FDSer learns new tricks) If I’ve never met the guy, then I have zero expectations as for frequency of texts. I don’t care if they do or don’t. I don’t mind responding so long as their messages are respectful. I don’t care if weeks go by and there is no text if I haven’t met them. I don’t feel we owe each other any type of continued communication. It just doesn’t bother me. Once we’ve met, then my expectations change!!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/01/20 01:51 AM
3	Relatively new to the community, looking for advice here. Please be gentle. I totally agree.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 11:35 PM
4	Relatively new to the community, looking for advice here. Please be gentle. I don’t agree that he is fetishizing — While I think his jokes are lame, at 38 plenty of people start making jokes about their age and about how “old” they are, for this reason I don’t think it is a red flag.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 10:28 PM
29	Relatively new to the community, looking for advice here. Please be gentle. This bothers me too. If a guy responds with ‘aight’ or ‘chillin’ he doesn’t have much of a chance unfortunately. I’m an educated woman and while I do not set any educational criteria for my matches as I do not believe education is the only predictor of intelligence, I do place great value on intelligence and command of the english language.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 10:26 PM
9	I don’t want to, but I am really starting to hate men. Yeah—someone just greeted me like this— I’m at the point where I have zero tolerance. I mean, if they cared at all about making a positive impression, they would not greet a woman like that. I am directly responding that I find their comment disrespectful. The only reason for a man to call a woman sexy when they don’t know her is because they are looking for sex OR they have a disregard for women in general. I block.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 07:33 PM
62	Sharing my pickmeisha story because i want a good laugh and you do too This happened to me too— I baked for him, got him little gifts (it’s just what I enjoy doing), did favors for him— It was a little different for me though— I didn’t tell him it was my birthday— deep down I KNEW he wouldn’t care— I avoided the disappointment — This isn’t on you, it’s on him. One day you will find a man who will appreciate those small gestures. You sound like an amazing woman!! We just chose the wrong people to give to.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 03:56 PM
29	Recently I put this in my Hindge profile, and it was the best decision ever. Saved me from wasting time on LVM just trying to hook up, and I’ve gotten complemented/admired for it by many great matches looking for something long term. 11/10 recommend 🥳 Yes, exactly- I actually removed what I was looking for in my profile— I’d rather not mention it, as I am certain men have told me what I they think I want to hear to try to manipulate. Now I ask the guy first what they are looking for. I don’t tell them what I am looking for until AFTER they have told me. 95% of the time, if they find out I am looking for something different, they back track and try to talk their way into matching my intentions. This is one way of weeding out people who don’t h…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 03:52 PM
36	Yeah!! Treat him like a king girl! That will totally pay off 🤦‍♀️ By him a vacuum for his birthday this year. Maybe he’ll get the hint.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 03:36 PM
63	I don’t want to, but I am really starting to hate men. Good to know I am not the only one....started wondering if I was being too picky.....started to wonder if I shouldn’t block so many people— or maybe I am being uptight by making a big deal about being called ‘babe’ Ugh How any of these men get attention from any female is beyond me. I also get turned off by people who open the conversation by commenting on my appearance— it’s not like I didn’t write a ton of interests in my profile for them to comment on— it shows their priorities lie in superfi…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 03:33 PM
15	Great dates but very minimal contact in between them. It feels low-effort, so I don’t know how to read it. This happened to me too- 6 months. I also felt a strong connection — I loved everything about him. Don’t do what I did. Have a hard talk with him about your relationship expectations. If he doesn’t say for certain that he is on your page then he is manipulating you. Mine manipulated me and I’ll never forget it. OP told him what she is looking for. He is aware of her goals and he has not voluntarily matched them nor has he given her the respect of telling her that he is not on the same page. This…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 11:15 PM
16	Be Careful Out There Everyone!! How do you go about asking for their last name?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 06:54 PM
2	Time before Ghosting? oh, I'm totally clear. I ask them directly for a phone call. If they text instead of call and then want to meet- I make it clear that I don't meet anyone without a phone call first. I tell them it is for my safety, which it is, but it is also a way of screening people to see if we connect. Over half the time I decide not to move forward after a phone call-- some times they curse a lot; some times they complain a lot; they may be too negative; they may be depressed which comes out in the intonati…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 04:54 PM
2	Time before Ghosting? I second this. Texting does nothing for me if I don’t know who I am texting. I cannot begin to know who the person is without a phone call. I will allow texting for a couple days, but if they don’t call by then, then I’m out. I am always very clear in asking for a phone call. I understand not everyone is a phone person, and that is okay. I don’t need a lengthy conversation, but I need some voice communication, as it tells me a whole lot about who this person is and helps me to decide if I think …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 08:05 AM
3	Time before Ghosting? The problem is that every man wants to meet and every man wants to exchange numbers. I don’t have the energy to meet and text everyone. I tell them that I only give out my number to people with whom a mutual interest has developed by ways of getting to know each other by chatting on the dating site. These men just ask to meet before we’ve even engaged in any type of conversation— it’s superficial and shallow. Anyone who asks to meet or have my number in the very beginning, before exchanging mess…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 08:01 AM
9	Stay safe out there I just heard a podcast that highlighted a study suggesting evidence for your brain knowing who you will have long term relationships with (friends or romantic) better than you know. So a person can meet someone and initially not think anything of them, but your brain already knows this person has the potential to be in your life for a long time.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/01/20 06:59 AM
5	A real conversation I have literally just had Ugh— instant block for me. That is beyond disrespectful. I definitely would not have honored him with a response.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/01/20 10:29 AM