TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

bcool_returns Archive

View 5 posts and 325 comments by bcool_returns on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

Conv 1. You're too sold. Already talking about "weddings" and her "captivating smile." No playful challenges. No building comfort. Just 0-100. You're just another guy, already ready to move mountains for her based on the superficial. You also ask her out in a passive and tepid way "... when it's alright for you ; )" Conv 2. Your interpretation of this conversation is wrong. Unlike the first conversation, at least you try to get her to qualify: "and you what interesting have to say? : )" The prob…
/r/seduction30/10/22 03:52 PM
13

+1. Though I would argue that the impact of a man's status ALWAYS wanes if it's not buttressed by the other things that matter... namely a look (not to be confused with pure raw looks), game, and frame. In the 21st century, being a provider does not provide the same allure it once did so men are going to have to build out the other elements of what makes them a unique value proposition.
/r/seduction28/10/22 10:03 PM
12

Believe it or not, after a great night, women are more than capable of reaching out to you and doing some of the legwork themselves.Why do guys always have to be the first one to initiate? Why do guys always have to be the last one to say something? I'm also wondering why it was necessary to get her Snap when you already had her IG. As for the rest, women go silent all the time, man. If I panicked and called it "ghosting" every time a woman went silent on me, I'd be missing out on a ton of dates…
/r/seduction26/10/22 10:55 PM
5

This is one of the reasons I hate Bumble. Personally these days if she didn't say anything in 24 hrs and after I extended the chat, I'd just move on. Back in the day, I might have gone on a bit of an expedition on IG. I wouldn't reference Bumble. I'd just reply to one of her stories with a playful value giving statement and get the ball rolling from there. But no boring questions, no trite compliments that she's heard 1000 times. The first step might be following her and seeing if she follows yo…
/r/seduction26/10/22 09:56 PM
3

As always, looks matter. But they're not the only thing that matters. Game will not prevail when there is no physical attraction there at all for her. But game does matter quite a bit in other scenarios. Attraction cuts far deeper than looks. Here's what I also know: Once a woman has moved on, all sorts of reasons -- legit or not -- will be conjured. And on some level, asking women "what happened" after a date is not attractive. And this unattractive act then influences her feelings and her feed…
/r/seduction26/10/22 04:50 PM
3

I now need to win her back over. No you don't. You only need to be behave in an attractive and abundant way. By the way, the frame that you need to "win her over" is neither attractive nor abundant. One of the main problems I have and have had is that her feelings were unclear, I no longer care about it being long term as I don’t think that is what she wants either but I’d like to keep her around. Women who want to lock you down will make that pretty clear. It's clear that at some point (and eve…
/r/seduction24/10/22 07:47 PM
2

Like many answers in game, you need to think beyond one isolated moment. This is more likely about the precedent you set and the momentum you failed to build on dates 1 and 2. If maybe the first date ended with a kiss and the second started with a kiss with some more making out and touch and flirtation throughout the date, I doubt you'd feel like you had so much pressure to make one grand move on the 3rd date. You would've greeted her at the door with a kiss rather than tepidly asking for one ha…
/r/seduction24/10/22 03:56 PM
3

Well, I obviously don't know why she said that neither. All I remember is that the last time we met, it was on a Friday. Everything started nicely but once we finished dinner she started acting distant and even looked 'tired'. Maybe because I said something she didn't like? But it's weird because she was touching her hair a lot while dining and showing signs of interest. We also met especifically to have sex right after, but once we were in my car, she became cold and we only made out a bit, so …
/r/seduction23/10/22 05:10 PM
3

A few weeks ago, when she told me that she didn't want anything serious even if I was 'an excellent guy' (lol) is because I realized I was being a bit intense and acted needy while texting. But I told her I wanted the same, especially considering I'm leaving for the army next year. So I took that as she wanting more space and I stopped texting. Hmm. Thanks for the fuller context. So I wouldn't have said all of that. Here's why: Women have said some variety of "I don't want anything serious" only…
/r/seduction23/10/22 03:03 PM
3

after a few days of us not texting she told me she felt I wanted something more than her - understandable as I was acting a bit needy. Just as important is how you responded to what she said and if it actually RESOLVED her concern... So what exactly did you say? After that, we didn't text for almost 10 days. But recently she reached out to me and the conversation flowed nicely. She wanted to meet me, so we arranged plans for 2 different days but she ended up cancelling on both occasions. Continu…
/r/seduction23/10/22 04:36 AM
3

I then said we should hangout sometime, have her my phone and she put her number in. She said to text her tomorrow to let her know if I went back in the next day or not. Sigh. She wanted to continue to hang out with you THAT NIGHT and likely go home with you. Not sure how many more signs you needed. For some reason, you could only think about taking her out on a date in the future. But that wasn't required. She was down THAT NIGHT. That means being a man with a plan, and moving things from point…
/r/seduction23/10/22 12:23 AM
3

For context we’ve been dating/talking for like 3 months no sex, Talk about burying the lede. Anyway, I would trim the fat off of some of these texts ("I think I asked you..."). Stop engaging with women so tepidly. And guys never think about how this tepid behavior is related to why things are moving at a snail's pace.
/r/seduction22/10/22 03:32 PM
9

I didn't get you calling her not drinking a "red flag" until I read this. But I still wouldn't call it a red flag. I'd just call it middling interest. She didn't want to get whisked away that night, by you. If you want to see the other side of this, I can tell you stories of a few dates where women insisted on a coffee shop for a first date. But then I walked through the door, they seemed pleasantly surprised, and immediately insisted on going nearby to find a bar. Seems like maybe things picked…
/r/seduction21/10/22 06:41 PM
24

Sometimes women just want to get laid, man. Maybe she's trying to get over someone. Or cheating on someone. And so on. Sometimes the sex wasn't that good for her, which is a key factor in getting repeat customers, and something us guys should always think more about. But even then, there's a range of emotions women feel after sex -- including feeling like maybe things escalated too quickly (even if yes, she played a leading role in encouraging things to go down and enjoyed the experience). All t…
/r/seduction20/10/22 09:35 PM
3

My problem is with getting second dates, which almost never happens, even after great first dates. Then by definition, those aren't "great first dates." Exceptional first dates lead to second dates and then some. , we jumped through a fountain on a whim and got all wet. OK, and then what? Did you go back to your place to dry off? With the second, after she insisting that we split dinner, she invited herself over to my place to play board games OK, and then what? You made out but did you actually…
/r/seduction19/10/22 06:07 PM
2

As for breaking the touch barrier, that should be a mutual decision where consent is at play, the burden is not on you, these are collaborative things. Sure, consent is always at play. OP is talking about the making the first move, though. The burden of initiation is largely on men. Maybe women don't consider that a burden. Maybe they don't care, too wrapped up in their own perspective. But developing these skills, calibration, confidence, and resilience is not easy. I will say that now with a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 03:06 AM
4

I’m going to filter them a little shallowly because I can’t tell people’s values and characteristics just by looking at them. Hmm. Could it be that you're looking for something different in a high energy and fun environment like a bar than you are in "normal life?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 09:44 PM
4

Hmm, looking for your soulmate at a bar. Not sure I find that fully credible. Don't get me wrong, that may be a long term goal. Or a goal after you've sobered up, if you will. But not in the moment. Which is why in the very next line you say: "I’m generally going to only talk to one or two a night who stand out to me based on shallow characteristics."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 09:35 PM
2

Well first off, a first kiss doesn't necessarily have to come at the end of the date. It can come much sooner. It's your assumption that it needs to come at the end, so that becomes your end -- a self-fulfilling prophesy. I've been on enough first dates now that have ended with sex. I wouldn't call it the norm, per se. But it does feel normal. So I'm seeing the full field of what's possible rather than just meekly calling it a night after 2 drinks and walking her to her car. You never know. If t…
/r/seduction15/10/22 02:18 AM
2

Classic projection. Sounds like you wanted to act on it but didn't and now feel some remorse about it which you call her laughing at you. In any case, the game is played in the present not in the hypothetical. Less thinking. More action.
/r/seduction15/10/22 02:06 AM
2

Well the first lesson is not to talk to a woman for months and months on a daily basis without actually meeting her and making moves. It also doesn't sound like you made moves when you finally met her. You only talk about "clicking." Until you internalize that this isn't the way to have success with women you want something romantic/sexual with, I also wonder if you're capable of casually going on a trip without being overinvested in this very same woman. Plenty of other friends and women you ca…
/r/seduction10/10/22 04:42 AM
2

I'm saying if it were me, I would've made sure the issue was resolved BEFORE I agreed to exclusivity. And this can only be figured out not by her words and promises, but through her ACTIONS over a period of time. Talk and agreements are cheap. And again, it's only been a few weeks you barely know her. And let's be real, you shouldn't even have to tell a woman (who's highly into you) not to fan the flames of attention she's getting from other men. I don't want to be hard on you or be a cynic. I w…
/r/seduction10/10/22 03:38 AM
4

And so? You're allowed to tell women "no" or "not yet," just as women are allowed to tell you "no" or "not yet." That was the time when you bring up the issues and expectations you have and make sure some of them are settled. You need to have standards and boundaries. These things also happen to be highly attractive to women to boot.
/r/seduction10/10/22 03:09 AM
4

Why did you agree to be exclusive with this unanswered issue still swirling around in your mind? Why did you agree to be exclusive after only 2-3 weeks of dating? These are the more important questions you haven't answered.
/r/seduction10/10/22 02:45 AM
2

Heh. For whose sake yours or hers? Whatever you're doing isn't working. That much is clear. And in the real world, the window of attraction has a limit on it. Especially if your texting is platonic and not playful/flirty, after 3 or 4 weeks have gone by and you've finally summed enough courage to ask her out, you'll discover that weren't even registering as a romantic prospect to her anymore and she's moved on. I also reject your premise that you can't make an early connection over text/phone in…
/r/seduction10/10/22 01:20 AM
2

If I meet someone out at a bar, I ask them out within a few days. If I match with someone on a dating app, I ask them out with a few days. Anything that's not this, I have no interest in. You can keep hoping that women be something they aren't as a general rule. Or you can improve the way you make moves.
/r/seduction10/10/22 12:49 AM
2

Recently, i asked a girl out who had been giving me great signs only to find out she is already dating someone. And how long did you take to make a move? Days? Weeks? Months? And how exactly did you ask her out?
/r/seduction10/10/22 12:36 AM
2

I made out with her and we went back to hers but I didnt lay the pipe because Then when did this happen? Because this is what I'm talking about. This opportunity. Not when you didn't jump on this obvious opportunity and went the route of going on a bunch of dates. Bro she doesn't want to come to my place and she doesn't want me in her place. Like I said on the first date I basically asked her if I could come back and she said no, You need to understand that what is true in one moment, isn't nece…
/r/seduction08/10/22 04:41 PM
2

Just invite her over to cook something or go over to hers and cook something if your logistics are bad. You might have already missed the window. But this is your best bet. Not this other stuff. It's time to make moves for real. In addition to what others have said, another issue with you moving backwards with your escalation and not forwards (besides her potentially losing interest) is that you're strengthening your anxiety. Had you just made moves that night after the club, you would've been o…
/r/seduction08/10/22 03:41 PM
14

The mistake is seeing it as inflated egos, instead of fragile egos. A lot what you're describe is just bluster -- about the very thing that deep down many if not most women feel they will be judged on the most. But in any case, truly confident people comfortable in their skin wouldn't feel the need to gas themselves up all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 05:43 AM
3

If that was your assessment, that's totally legit and I agree it's not worth it. But nonetheless you missed the window. Take it from an OG. Her behavior isn't "confusing" at all for reasons I describe above and in my longer post.
/r/seduction06/10/22 12:18 AM
3

She wanted to have fun that night on the heels of a breakup. You took that to a certain point but no further, and that's that. Next time don't let too much drinking occur, go to a fast food joint to sober up etc... But this was a one night stand situation and you need to get out of your romantic default instead of saying things like "Maybe she wants me to ask her out on a date date" when in reality the issue is the exact OPPOSITE. For now, in lieu of actual sex, you're just someone good for vali…
/r/seduction05/10/22 11:22 PM
11

You've given us zero details here. What "woman?" It makes sense that you'd call your GF and expect her to call you back within a reasonable timeframe. It makes less sense to call a woman you haven't even met yet and expect her to call you back. She may not even know what the hell you want and why you're so adamant about calling her in the first place when most people under 40 primarily just text. Most importantly, don't just text to text or call just to call. ASK HER OUT.
/r/seduction30/09/22 09:04 PM
2

We made plans to hang out on the 1st. She wasn't responding to my texts and so I asked on the 22nd if we were still good for the 1st and if I should take off work. Heh. Sounds more like you asked her out some time in September and she kicked the can down the road several weeks... to October 1st. That is often a sign of low interest. Also if you're hitting a woman up on the 22nd trying to solidify plans for the 1st thinking that makes things more solid, you're wrong, it does not. She still has mo…
/r/seduction30/09/22 02:25 PM
3

"Good morning, would 8pm tonight be a good time to talk?" "Talk" about what precisely? With a random guy she only met on the train for a few minutes? She doesn't know, so it's much easier to go silent than anything else. Next time build up the conversation a bit and then ASK HER OUT on a date. All this can be done over text. She's a young person in college dude why would she want to talk on the phone?! Also, just from your description there were likely some issues with interaction, too. Like whe…
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:01 PM
16

Lol set a plan dude. If you hit her up later at night maybe she was tired/didn't want to accept last minute plans/didn't want to be seen as a booty call. This is when women hit you up the next day with "haha sorry fell asleep." My first reply to her text might be something playful like "cuz you're a grandma obviously lol." Then after a reply or two, ASK HER OUT properly rather than being a pen pal for another 5 weeks FFS. As I said in my other post, if she's still giving you the runaround then, …
/r/seduction25/09/22 06:07 PM
28

Your attention is your power. You "call out" women in these situations by choosing where you deploy your attention not by overtly calling her out, holding her "accountable," or getting butthurt. That said "so are we going to see each other today" is a passive and tepid text and one that makes it seem like she'd be doing you a favor to hang out with you. Bad. Set an actual plan and be confident about it. If she's receptive, great. If not, that's that. But texting her "non-stop" all week and then …
/r/seduction25/09/22 04:01 PM
3

Heh. Well, I'd say the most important moment is when she said "maybe" and you understood the subtext, put yourself on the line, and made moves. You make it seem like it's your needlessly overt move ("hey can I kiss you?") that saved the day. But really, it was passing a shit test, which is all about the covert. Your own field report demonstrates this.
/r/seduction25/09/22 11:34 AM
3

You good, bro. Keep working at it.
/r/seduction21/09/22 05:03 PM
3

"No" to what exactly? In the moment, she was in a high energy environment, likely buzzed or drunk, and keen on meeting fun people and having fun experiences. (And heck, maybe getting IG followers, too.) Then the dust settled and the moment passed. This is why bar interactions shouldn't be taken too seriously. And more importantly, this is why it's important to take them as far as you can in the moment. Rather than inviting her to a party a week later, why not continuing to party with her THAT NI…
/r/seduction21/09/22 04:58 PM
13

These are good thoughts. But I think we need to make a distinction between men who are starting out and men who are experienced. What I used to do in my early 20s, I don't do now. Similarly, some of the things I do now I wouldn't prescribe to guys starting out. I would absolutely encourage new guys to sit next to women on first dates and try to make (calibrated) moves sooner rather than later. Many of their dates are awkward dinner dates with bad eye contact, awkward convo, and not an iota of ph…
/r/seduction19/09/22 02:39 AM
6

You wrongly assume that women make all guys "wait" for sex. Or that even as some men in her orbit are waiting, she's also getting those other needs met with the guy who "doesn't count."
/r/seduction18/09/22 07:31 PM
3

l.told her i liked her, No. Need. Start a conversation. Develop some rapport. Engage in some flirtation. And on a high note, ASK HER OUT. This is how you convey romantic interest. Not by reemerging out of nowhere and making a 0-100 love confession. , wanted her and gave her my phone number, Passive. Take her phone # instead. Now you've already lost 3 weeks. couple weeks later she texts me at mid night. i tried chopping it up with her, to see what she been up to since high school but never got pa…
/r/seduction18/09/22 03:29 PM
5

Anyways before you make any illusions I of course fucked up by being way to forward and just asking her if I "could kiss her", definitely too soon and too high. You wrongly assume the issue is that you were "too forward." There are many other ways to turn off women that have nothing to do with the things that you are worried about in your rundown. People kiss each other ALL the time in a club environment, sometimes rather quickly and maybe even without a single word even uttered. But when you ma…
/r/seduction18/09/22 02:12 AM
1

Ah does it notify? (I'm too old for SC lol). Well, if you actually have an OLD or IG chat feel free to DM.
/r/seduction17/09/22 08:23 PM
4

Well, what do your convos look like? Without seeing those, we're just playing a guessing game.
/r/seduction17/09/22 08:18 PM
9

Definitely should've waited for more than a week before hitting her up ... and asking her out for coffee at that. This is your only option/best option and it shows. So go out there and talk to other women. Because continuing to chase women who are withdrawing is a fool's errand. Also rather than saying she "hates men," more likely there's a particular guy she still can't get over. And despite all the complaints about him to you, she still has emotional investment in him.
/r/seduction16/09/22 07:21 PM
3

The best time to make things happen is in the moment. You met at a bar and then what? What happened? Why couldn't you keep the night going? These are the bar interactions that on average go somewhere more often. The ones where you actually leave the bar with her. Go late night pizza joint. Go to an afterparty. Keep the adventure of the night going. Not the ones where you play it safe, default to a number as your first resort rather than your last. Anyway, sounds like you've asked her out a numbe…
/r/seduction15/09/22 04:18 AM
24

Heh.You write your first two sentences as if you've been with her for weeks. Then we come to discover it's only been one damn week and she's barely out of an old relationship. Heck, for all you know, she's actually still with the guy/they're taking a quick break etc. So I would bring my expectations way down and actually see the situation for what it really is so far. And when is she saying that she doesn't want to hook up every time? In the moment or in advance over text? If you don't feel you'…
/r/seduction14/09/22 03:13 PM
2

I get it, man. Try to relax, though. Everyone was a virgin at some point. The only way you start changing your fate is getting out there, experimenting, taking Ls, getting Ws, and slowly but surely changing your mind about yourself. As for nuts and bolts of this weekend, like I told the other guy, it's possible that the date could just start at your place, given all that's happened. But even if it starts at a bar, the key is to be fun and chill. Grab a drink. Have normal conversation mixed with …
/r/seduction14/09/22 05:30 AM
3

Things sound promising to me. Why can't you meet sooner? In my experience, sexting before you've had sex before, particularly when there's a long gap before meeting, does not lead to good outcomes. Sure, in the moment she enjoys it. But you're giving away the game and creating a bunch of expectation where you can trigger buyer's remorse. Given the choice between talking about sex and actually having sex, I'll choose the latter all day every day. Here's an example of things going wrong when you g…
/r/seduction14/09/22 04:14 AM
2

So wait, she hasn't replied for a couple of hours and you're already posting on Reddit in full on panic mode?! And then you double text for no reason rather than leaving space and seeing if she doesn't respond within 24-48 hours? Sigh. Women can and will go quiet sometimes. It's up to you to manage your internal state better, and have other things going on in your life such that when things like this happen, you keep a cooler head rather than catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions, and being ne…
/r/seduction13/09/22 03:49 PM
32

You're getting some hate here, in part probably because of your tone and in part because some of this stuff you actually have to see to believe. But ultimately, I just don't think most men have any interest of living a life like this, even for a certain period of time. They want to use "seduction" to get That One Girl and ride off into the sunset. But I would argue that cultivating some abundance for a period of time puts you in a better place to find a long term relationship (or a handful of lo…
/r/seduction12/09/22 02:02 AM
3

Well, then stop paying for the entire bill and allowing her to choose all the (expensive?) dates you go on. It's that simple. I NEVER go on a date where I wouldn't mind paying the whole bill. Early dates are chill, fun, and generally chosen by me -- focused primarily on the time we're spending together and NOT the venue. But just like you, most of my experiences involve women offering to split/splitting. These are my experiences and my expectations so anything that's not that, I do not accept or…
/r/seduction11/09/22 11:24 PM
12

I might've tried to lengthen the conversation with her a bit and got to know a thing or two about her (and her about you). The things you connected on would also have given you a way to follow up via text yourself. Also when she said she'd call I might've said something like "sure, I'm free after 9." Then if she calls, cool. If not, then I'd simply call myself around that time or texted her the next day w/something.
/r/seduction02/09/22 04:56 AM
7

I mean, the 2nd example sounds like you maybe could've gotten laid that night, dude. But instead you were more prude than the girl, and made your one grand move be a cheesy ask for a kiss at the very end of being at her apartment. If you're at her apartment, moves can be made much sooner than that FFS. And a kiss should be mutual, not like she's doing you a favor smh. First example does sound like it could have been forced. But you wrongly reduce it to a simple matter of time, when more likely i…
/r/seduction31/08/22 09:49 PM
1

Shoot me a PM and I'll show ya how it plays out.
/r/seduction29/08/22 08:32 PM
7

Oh for sure. I was recently in a FWB situation with someone who from the very first date encouraged me to do some pretty off the wall things in the bedroom. Probably top 5 wild in my life. A few weeks in we were watching a movie where these "bros" were engaged in "bro" talk. I laughed in spots and she looked annoyed. I shrugged and told her this is sometimes just the way dudes talk. But more to the point -- and this part I didn't say -- where does she think the dominant and kinky energy she was …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 05:27 PM
3

Well, a bulk of the time she says "haha sorry I thought I replied! Yes, see you tonight." A smaller percentage of the time she continues to hit you with silence or flakes out entirely. But keep in mind I'm not just doing it because it "works." I'm doing it because I do not accept being kept in limbo. And a major issue across many reddit dating subs is men allowing themselves to be kept in limbo, quietly stewing (or coming online to vent), when they can cut through all that and gain clarity with …
/r/seduction29/08/22 04:10 PM
2

Pretty broad question. But a key concept is learning how to change her mood, instead of trying to change her mind. Many guys hang their hats on being "reasonable" and "rational" all the time. But playing to emotions, being creative, playing with subtext, and not taking everything so darn literally matters more.
/r/seduction29/08/22 03:51 PM
1

We talk for a bit and eventually I suggest we get coffee Why coffee and not drinks? Late the day of she responds she was swamped with work. I wouldn't have allowed her to keep me in limbo for that long. You need to have a healthy entitlement. I would've double texted "or not lol" or something like that by noon the day of. I need to know if I'm going out with her or making plans with someone else. But I'm not just sitting there. Guys sometimes get too neurotic about being needy, and lean their en…
/r/seduction29/08/22 03:03 PM
9

And why didn't you playfully call it out if it was so bothersome to you? Particularly with the lunch thing. Time and again guys aren't expressing their boundaries, aren't expressing their misgivings, aren't pointing out the obvious with the women they're with. That's strange. And it's not attractive to boot.
/r/seduction29/08/22 04:16 AM
3

first time we went for drinks after but her friend joined us That's not a date then. but I am and was inexperienced, but now that I’ve worked on myself I would definitely do something if I were in that situation. Good. With that said though, she did string me along. Sprinkling attention my way and then pulling back. Being a little flirty but then not responding and even ignoring simple messages. I get it. But when you're clear with your intent and what you want, this can't go on for long. If my …
/r/seduction27/08/22 03:21 PM
3

You've buried the lede here. The real story is that you were given opportunities to make moves, including being in her room, and you didn't. Guys never consider how their wishy washy and incongruent behavior causes her to behave in the same way. It sounds like weeks and maybe even months have passed here. You've made zero moves and are likely registering very much as a friend. Now you're wondering why you've made no progress with her and accuse her of stringing you along. Focus less on her behav…
/r/seduction27/08/22 02:55 PM
3

You shouldn't have to jump through 1000 hoops and convince her of your worthiness for starters.
/r/seduction26/08/22 02:53 AM
3

She doesn't respect you or have real genuine desire for you, dude. That's the point.
/r/seduction26/08/22 02:26 AM
3

1 week ago, I came to know she was casually hooking up with an Arab guy younger than her in the past year (they knew each other from 5 years back in Uni). She has been to the guy's place several times. That guy has gotten married 3 months ago. In the meantime, she became active in community events since then, unlike the apparent out-of-sight situation for the last couple of years. This revelation of her casual relationship and reaching out to me after the fun is over has triggered rage in me. He…
/r/seduction25/08/22 04:11 PM
4

Last time I saw her she was a bit flirty, like pressing her index finger on my lips to tell me to shut up (I went on and licked her finger) and she put it again. Telling me that she is good in bed and other kind of bulshit. OK, and it sounds like you just parted ways rather than inviting her ON THE SPOT to another bar to continue hanging out that night and then going back to your place from there. Talk is cheap. It's time to act. These stories are pretty much all the same. Guy meets girl. Guy ta…
/r/seduction23/08/22 10:30 PM
31

Better that you provoke a little indignation than absolutely nothing at all.
/r/seduction23/08/22 04:10 PM
3

Things are fine. But they'd be even better if you were OK with silence as well, rather than operating on the (false) premise that you need to constantly be talking with her to "maintain her interest" and "increase her desire." I'm sure you know these things and apply them with women you're not as attracted to. But let me remind you that the same principles apply here too with this so-called 10. Not exactly sure what you mean by "progressing intimacy," but I almost NEVER overtly sext a woman befo…
/r/seduction20/08/22 11:26 PM
4

Heh. She seems dead set on having a super rational and rapport-y conversation. So it's up to you to steer things in a way that is more playful and interesting, while also building connection. You claim you just want to sleep with her. So why are you allowing things to be so serious and un-fun? And if she still wasn't playing ball then, I'd move on. her: hey :) I would love to hear about you! I wrote a lot on my profile if you are interested These kinds of openers from women can be tricky. On the…
/r/seduction20/08/22 12:28 PM
3

Yikes. She asked a simple question "where" and you asked 100 more questions and introduced 100 more variables. Just be decisive, man. That's what puts her at ease. Not your information overload. She says "Where" and you simply say "Bob's Bar... 7p." Keep things short and snappy and stop overtexting and introducing unflattering information. Is it relevant that you do/don't have a car? You're in New York City. Public transport is the norm. The stuff with the Uber is also an added complication and …
/r/seduction17/08/22 07:54 PM
2

Ya I'd hit her up this weekend, man. Also "made out for most of the second date" stands out for me. If you're making out to this extent, I would pump the breaks on some of that and find a private location (your place/her place) to escalate things further.
/r/seduction11/08/22 12:42 PM
1

Par for the course. Having been giving dating advice on various subs for a few years, I'm shocked by the things that certain men hear and endure. To me that's the biggest issue: The fact that she (well, her friend) openly aired this. For instance, take this post from a few days back: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/wdhl4q/after_first_date_girl_says_to_me_she_is_busy_this/ Sure, it's totally normal for a woman to be dating several men at once. But openly saying she's going on a da…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 12:54 PM
2

Yup. But I'd shut the dinner part down now. "Out of town but down for drinks when I'm back" etc
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:27 PM
2

I counteroffered with a gallery opening that was happening a little earlier the same day, but also said dinner and drinks was fine if she couldn't make it to the opening. Next time don't hedge. If you don't want to do drinks and dinner, don't do drinks and dinner. I simply would've offered drinks at a bar or the gallery opening you mentioned. But I would NOT have the additional language of "dinner and drinks is fine" because I don't do dinner on a first date. But today she texted me apologizing …
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:01 PM
6

Did you sign your name at the end of that first text so she knows it's you? Also given the choice between something generic that is taking value: "hey... how are you?" "hi... how's your weekend" and something specific that asks nothing of her and gives value, I'm choosing the latter all day every day. By this I mean playing on particular connection points and callback humor that harken back to the hopefully UNIQUE emotional bond you started to build with her. So putting it all together, my first…
/r/seduction01/08/22 11:24 AM
2

The only relevant data point is that you've been texting a girl for weeks and weeks and months and months without meeting her in the flesh. If there's some impediment (distance) keeping you from meeting for the time being, STFU, stay mildly in touch, and start ramping things up again when you can actually meet irl. All the calling and the texting is ridiculous, unattractive, and unsustainable -- which might explain her silence.
/r/seduction31/07/22 05:51 PM
3

No may about it, homie. It's not just about playing it safe. You invited a woman to a club late at night. She was giving you IOIs for days. There's only one thing that means, but too many guys are stuck in a romantic default, not appreciating that women can be just as sexual as they are. This in turn leads to men missing out on countless opportunities. Because if they're not spending a bunch of money on her, and going on a bunch of dates her, they can't even imagine something sexual popping off.…
/r/seduction30/07/22 01:08 PM
4

You didn't take the interaction anywhere, dude. Guy A is there kissing her all night, giving the game away, passively waiting for her do to do something rather than being a leader. Guy B goes in for initial kiss, then maybe next time comes in close to create tension and then pulls away, starts talking about a more quiet place to go, and then leads her back to his place within 45 minutes to 1hr of meeting. You kept seeing "kiss me eyes" but couldn't think beyond the confines of the club to unders…
/r/seduction30/07/22 12:58 PM
31

Another example of what I call a her focused conversation. You just keep asking her small talk question after small talk question, never imposing YOUR OWN opinions, beliefs, experiences, and personality on the chat. You spent 95 percent of the of the chat talking about gaming, not understanding that while this can be a starting point, you need to move on from it. You claim you're not even a "big time gamer," so why are you stuck on this one topic, rather than talking about something else? And he…
/r/seduction26/07/22 01:57 PM
43

Lol, sounds like you played it fine. I'm a fan of the no reply to a flake at times, too. Not a fan of the energy she was giving off so imo it's all good and on to the next. Often in these situations she's on break with someone, trying to get over someone, or even cheating.
/r/seduction26/07/22 02:40 AM
3

I wouldn't necessarily go to that class. You've been trying to get her to go out 1 on 1 in a dating context for weeks. You pitched a date and she went silent. And now you're getting whisked away to one of her classes. Sounds like you're registering very much as a friend, dude.
/r/seduction22/07/22 04:17 PM
3

Add her on IG and stay mildly in touch. Anything more is unsustainable and you'll likely give the game away -- especially if it escalates to something like sexting (without a quick irl payoff). I meet up with women weeks and months after our initial interaction. You're thinking about it the wrong way, too. Sure, there's you staying on her radar. But there's also her staying on yours. If your social media profile is engaging and good quality, interested women can and will stay in touch. Then, whe…
/r/seduction21/07/22 02:58 PM
22

Well, sounds like you should've approached her 2 hours earlier, rather than waiting until last call and the lights were flickering on. This could start to explain why you received that shit test, which you wrongly perceive as arrogance but really could be her way of finding out WHY you took so long to make a move. Is she your last ditch attempt of the night? Were you afraid of making a move earlier? Are you really that into her? And so on. And while I suppose you could answer every test in such …
/r/seduction21/07/22 12:42 PM
35

"Maybe I can meet him another day for a future hike. or he can meet us there." Ya, don't do this, man. You were too accommodating here, but about the wrong thing. You were so focused on not immediately shutting down the friend proposition that you entertained meeting him in the future or even still on that date. Why? Instead, you should've been focusing on how a woman you don't know that well (based on your description) might not want to start a first date at your place, then be alone in a car w…
/r/seduction16/07/22 02:01 PM
100

I'm actually more curious about the texts that came before this. Your double text was a bit rough, in that you were skipping ahead to still wanting to meet rather than first making sure she agreed to your boundary. Who is this girl to you? Have you met before? Meeting to go on some hike alone on a first date, carpooling together alone to said hike, and meeting alone at your place at the start of the hike might all be too high stakes if you haven't met her before/built some comfort.
/r/seduction16/07/22 07:30 AM
2

And have you asked her out?
/r/seduction16/07/22 05:11 AM
2

What can I say I'm a contrarian. But hit me up in the DMs if you want to hear more.
/r/seduction15/07/22 06:12 PM
1

Another thing I would change is how I set dates. You seem to say, many days out "hey let's meet at Bob's Bar on Thursday at 7p" and think it's 100 percent locked in. I do not do this. Instead, I spread out logistics, that way there's a reason to circle back (in a non-needy way) in the following days. Right now, I have someone coming over on a 2nd date this weekend. So far she knows the day, the rough time (evening) and the location (my place). But then later on I'll tell her the exact time.
/r/seduction15/07/22 05:49 PM
2

I do it the morning of.
/r/seduction15/07/22 03:37 PM
8

We were silent in between the first date plans and date as well. Sigh. Totally different, brother. You were nothing to her then. Now you've been on one date. A seemingly good one, where she started to actually invest. And then you went completely quiet, betraying the equity and narrative that was building. You do realize many women don't even save your NAME in their phones until a few dates in and you've had sex. Women aren't men and you can save yourself a lot of confusion and frustration by st…
/r/seduction15/07/22 03:15 PM
2

The best follow up is her following up, which women can and will do if you run a good date and the sex was fulfilling. In any case, within 24 hours, if I don't hear from her, I'll simply reiterate that that was fun and/or hit on some callback humor. Then a few days later, I'll hit her up again and plan a second date.
/r/seduction15/07/22 02:24 PM
18

You went quiet for several days and only circled back about the date ONE HOUR before it happened. This is what happens when guys take only text for logistics to the extreme. You need to be steward of the number and the growing narrative between you two. (https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qot64z/a_case_against_only_texting_for_logistics/, https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qot64z/a_case_against_only_texting_for_logistics/hjphm44/) No, this doesn't mean blowing up her phone. But…
/r/seduction15/07/22 02:18 PM
4

Well you're young and in college and meeting women at bars. That said, keep improving your sex game. No reason things have to get super serious quickly, but if you're not getting ANY repeat customers, this is the likely problem. Also, what's the vibe after sex? How do you follow up? Are you getting their numbers in the morning? Do they seem keen on giving it out?
/r/seduction15/07/22 05:10 AM
6

You need to leave space for women to show their interest in you, too. This has the added benefit of being a far more honest signal than when you're twisting her arm all the time or saying something in the hope she reciprocates. For instance, it's one thing for you to make out a bit at the end of the date and then, in the silence that comes after, immediately rush to fill it with "So I had a great time, we should do it again soon" and she goes "Me too" And another to leave space and see if she st…
/r/seduction12/07/22 06:27 PM
6

If she cares about me and is invested in me, absolutely. There's a way in which guys sometimes give women too much credit.
/r/seduction12/07/22 04:09 PM
223

You're thinking like a guy. Abundance doesn't work that way for women. Just because she has options doesn't mean all, or even most, are viable. Emotional investment matters. Sure, other guys might be attractive and have things going for them. But they're randoms and don't have a shared narrative with her like you do. This is part of the reason why a dick pic from a random guy is met with revulsion. And so long as she sees you as That Guy, other men are irrelevant. But part of being That Guy invo…
/r/seduction12/07/22 02:10 PM
1

Haha, likely a come on. Notice how it's the inversion of the scenario here (https://www.reddit.com/r/askseddit/comments/vqky72/got_approached_at_a_club_last_night_what_should_i/). In that situation, she came in asking for a favor. In your situation, she was doing you a favor. The key, as I said then, is to focus on subtext. Unless she works there, she has no business cleaning up anything. It's not about the mat. It's not about the water. And it's definitely not about the nail lol. So my response…
/r/seduction10/07/22 02:14 PM
4

When the lights finally came on at Last Call, she announced that she was about to leave Man, there's such a thin line between results and no results sometimes. One guy hears she's about to leave and assumes she means by herself. Another guy hears she's about to leave and says "good idea, let's go." with a smile and now you're on your way to create a fun memory. And even if it turns out not to come to pass, at least you've shown intent and can just say something like "Ah early morning, fair enoug…
/r/seduction09/07/22 02:32 AM
2

Conversation is one thing, but you're also not talking about the other mechanics of the date. Namely, physical escalation and logistics. A static 3 hr date at one venue where you're setting across from her and give her a kiss at the very end of the date is one thing. A dynamic 3 hour date that involves multiple venues, a sense of fun and adventure that ultimately ends up at your place is another. If I'm running date that long, a lot more than just a pleasant chat at one bar is happening.
/r/seduction08/07/22 03:49 PM
94

I wouldn't escalate yet. Key is to just receive the compliment. You want to leave space to allow her to reveal if she just wants validation or is really about it. So my reply might just be a meme or something chill like "Gracias"/"Gee, thanks"). Then you see what she does. No rush. If she now sees you as new and improved, you need to actually be new and improved. This means you don't just let people back into your life with no conditions. Late last year I went on one date with a woman. Seemed to…
/r/seduction08/07/22 02:52 PM
3

Women want men who "just get it." OP is out here adjudicating emotions and feelings when the moment has already passed and her attraction and investment has cratered. Women don't respond well to this and they don't even know if they can trust it. They only trust honest signals that come from naturally him, not being told by others including her what he does or doesn't need to do. In short, talk is cheap and he's already proven to her that he's not That Guy. If he was, he'd have made moves on dat…
/r/seduction07/07/22 06:37 PM
4

Lol sigh. Not on the heels of everything you just did. I'd go quiet for a few days. That said, spend less time focusing on This One Girl and more time focusing on the deeper lesson here so that you avoid these kinds of mistakes in the future.
/r/seduction07/07/22 05:19 PM
3

So I work graveyards with a beautiful woman. I texted her and asked her to get breakfast with me today as we were leaving. The place in question didn't open until an hour after our shift. She said she would go, but she has lunch with a friend in a couple hours, and didn't want to spend an hour waiting for the place just to open. Logistics are something every man needs to know how to handle. One key concept in that is learning how to differentiate between a condition and an objection. This sounds…
/r/seduction07/07/22 05:09 PM
2

My questions did pertain to her; I asked her what she did for a living because she had to be up so early Your question may seem logical to you. But it was not necessarily correct from an EMOTIONAL standpoint for her. From her perspective, she's still fixated on the fact that you said you didn't want to go out the day the you originally planned after all this build up. Nor did you clearly state in that message WHEN you'd be moving the date. So no, she's not interested in small talking about her j…
/r/seduction06/07/22 08:56 PM
6

At first, I was on a high after one of the dates cancelled. She was super-keen. Big paragraph texts to me, but when I saw that she said she had an early start the next day to the day we agreed, I said 'no problem, let's just do another day.' I asked her a few more questions in my message to her. All she said was: 'yeahhh probably for the best.' That, for me, is a red flag because she didn't offer an alternative day or time to meet. I was on my high-horse after that. Called it out. (I didn't even…
/r/seduction06/07/22 05:14 PM
1

They have an equal capacity. But yes, they aren't as frequently inspired to act on that capacity. Cheers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 11:11 PM
1

Indeed. But you're wrongly pinning it on some intrinsic and mystical quality in women whereras I've seen firsthand how women can be just as ruled by instincts and raw desire given the right guy. But if you only read reddit, you'd think it was only men who wanted to eschew condoms in the heat of the moment and break quarantine for some strange.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 10:34 PM
2

Pretty well handled. What exactly are you saying when you ask her out and how is she responding?
/r/seduction05/07/22 08:42 PM
1

The point, as you already know, is that they were whisked away by sexy talk and promises.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 02:24 PM
1

they're much more often fully cognizant of who they're actually looking at without the fog of sexual arousal. Heh. If that were true, there'd be no Tinder Swindler or West Elm Caleb.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 02:02 AM
2

Clearly, you're charting out new territory here. You sound like you're wrapped up in an identity of having women wrapped around your finger. This isn't that so it's got you shook. I get it. You can have an abundance of one night stands and flings while still feeling completely out of your depth when you wake up next to someone you're actually afraid of losing. The answer is just to commit to enjoying the ride however long it lasts. And then doing it again, now with a better understanding of the …
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:31 AM
3

My view is that every man needs to cultivate some degree of abundance to the extent that he can. Then he can better understand what he likes, and what he doesn't like. By this point, he will also hopefully have seen the dark sides of abundance, too, such that he doesn't pedestalize the female position and experience. Just because someone has a bunch of options doesn't mean that all or even most matter. But coming to this understanding isn't an intellectual exercise. You need to see it and feel i…
/r/seduction24/06/22 04:15 AM
2

It's the mindset that if they meet a girl, text with her, invite her out/over, then sex should be a part of the equation I agree and disagree. I've been giving advice on various dating subs since the start of the pandemic and from what I see most men are stuck in a romantic default. At least 3-4 times a day I read posts where men aren't making moves when a window opens. If anything, most guys are unaware of how quickly sex can go down and how sexual women can be. And when in doubt, I'd say the a…
/r/seduction22/06/22 04:56 AM
7

Now, the point of all this is simple: Even though we could have had sex on the first night, I waited a month. While not 100% intentional, I waited until I knew what she wanted and what she desired. I waited until I knew with certainty that she didn't want sex... she wanted ME. I waited until she was practically begging for it. Nearly all of these contrarian posts about this topic are based on a false premise. In your case, she was chasing heavy and highly invested. You were already a sexworthy g…
/r/seduction22/06/22 01:10 AM
6

Honestly at this point, I often just thumbs up the message or not even reply at all depending. Sometimes she ends up double texting in 12-24 hours with a fuller apology/rescheduling. Obviously there's difference between "hey, I'm at the hospital" in which case def express concern and "hey, I'm hungover." Phase#1 in your journey with flakes is basically butthurt. She sucks. Women suck overall. And so on. Phase#2 involves responding in a balanced way because hopefully you're having dating success …
/r/seduction21/06/22 07:14 PM
4

There are many ways of communicating that you're interested in having sex with a woman without ever uttering the word "sex." You can be fun, flirty, assume familiarity, and smoothly make moves when a window opens. Do it your way as a random dude she's never met from moment one and you'll be sent packing because you've proven you just don't get it. There needs to be a dance, a foreplay. Sex is not a binding contract. You're still operating under the false premise that speaking overtly -- that is,…
/r/seduction18/06/22 05:09 PM
3

She's still in that relationship but messages me and send pics here and there. Seems like everytime I get close to "scoring" she panics and pulls back and says she can't because she would be labeled a cheater. Sounds about right. There's also the validation component. Never forget that. The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result. That's when you pull back, keep your replies short or not at all. I then informed her that I will NEVER be a guy fri…
/r/seduction17/06/22 06:20 PM
2

Myron Gaines is that you?
/r/seduction13/06/22 05:30 AM
3

Why on Earth did you unmatch? For all you know, she was bored/horny one night on the toilet, swiped on a few guys she found cute, forgot about the app, but then might've opened up again this weekend or next week. I get a decent amount of inbound likes on Hinge and many of them don't materialize until days or weeks after I open/respond to her opener. Sometimes you just need to be patient. Or maybe double text in a week or so. As for your opener, I much prefer statements as openers, over questions…
/r/seduction10/06/22 02:06 AM
20

"OK" "Language please." "I'm a virgin." "Who knows, the night is young." "Never say never" "Thanks for sharing" etc etc. It's a shit test and in the playful context you describe suggests that sex is on her mind otherwise you wouldn't be hearing that. Banter back and don't be surprised if later on in the night, you are indeed having sex.
/r/seduction09/06/22 10:59 PM
3

Who knows, impossible to say without seeing the convo. Maybe you said something unflattering/unattractive/confusing. Maybe you said something that didn't necessarily need a reply and it was the natural end of the convo. Maybe something interrupted her and she intended on replying but then forgot. Guys need to move beyond thinking that every conversation needs to have a neat beginning and end. I consider things always open. And it's totally legit to restart conversations a few days later. Most im…
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:41 PM
7

What exactly happened with this woman, OP? What did/didn't you do? And how did she react?
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:28 PM
2

First establish that she's well again. THEN make actual plans. You keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. The first time she said she was sick I just would've said something to the effect of: "Got it. I'll circle back end of the week." Then when I did (on Friday or Sunday) I would begin with a playful text that sussed out how she was feeling ("So are you still drinking chicken soup"). You sound like another guy who takes only text for logistics to the extreme. Well, here are…
/r/seduction05/06/22 01:06 PM
3

Hey man, it is what it is. First step is owning up to it. Not for the sake of anyone else. But for yourself. Keep working so you can get back on solid ground. Good luck.
/r/seduction05/06/22 02:40 AM
3

A movie date isn't the greatest first date, but on the plus side you guys hung out before and after so all that seems like it was fine. Things ended with a few makeouts. Great. A promising first date. But everything that happened after this is a disaster. Tuesday...I call her no answer Fair enough. I rarely call women until I've actually slept with them. Before then, in these early stages, there's just no need and everything you need to communicate can be done via text. Also, rather than you ini…
/r/seduction04/06/22 06:43 PM
1

Yes but state the obvious in a chill but firm way >>> serious/logical "confrontation."
/r/seduction04/06/22 05:48 PM
1

So you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result... did I get that right? Switch it up. Ignore her sometimes. Just thumbs up her message or send an emoji. Reply in a way that actually calls things out ("this is fun" "lol") etc. I don't pretend to have rapport with people who haven't met me halfway and a lot of the misery guys deal with can be solved by abiding by the same. Why on Earth are you continuing to flirt with someone who keeps blanking you? More importantly, what is you…
/r/seduction04/06/22 05:19 PM
3

2 big mistakes: Poor choice of first date at a movie theater. Also think of the trajectory of it all. On a date, the story of you and her should always be ramping up on some level. Somehow you claim you guys kissed very early on (within 20 minutes of meeting?). If so, that's a girl who is likely down. But from there, you go and sit primarily in silence in the dark for 2 whole hours, completely blunting all the momentum, tension, and connection. Then the lights come on, you drive her home, drop h…
/r/seduction27/05/22 04:06 AM
2

These posts never have context and I'm not sure why. WHO is this girl? Have you met her before? What's the vibe? Have you already established WHERE you'll be meeting tonight? You need to clarify that in your mind and then communicate it to us so that we're not just shooting blind. Could be as simple as her probing for the logistics that you've yet to provide ("A few... Let's start at XYZ bar and go from there." etc)
/r/seduction26/05/22 01:40 PM
1

I find it curious that you focus on "never sleeping with women you wouldn't be friends with", rather than, ya know, never getting involved with women you aren't really ATTRACTED to. But then we get into another PPD debate about men and women being different including when it comes to our attraction floors. I will say this much, as a fellow late bloomer, I think if you're a man who starts to build value and cultivate options, in a way you start to behave more like women where your standards for c…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 10:30 PM
11

Need more context. Who is this girl? What is the vibe between you? Would she perceive you inviting her over to your place as coming out of nowhere? Has she even met you yet? If no, you needed to tease the interaction out a bit more instead of going 0 to 100 like you did. You're also too sold. Playful skepticism is your friend and helps draw out the interaction more and build investment. Her: Okay, I’ll bring the dessert Me: Hmm... what kind of dessert we talking. I'm a distant relative of Baskin…
/r/seduction19/05/22 04:40 PM
2

In the future, you need to think more about discretion. Especially when you're younger, a lot of things happen within social circles and people talk. You want to be the guy who knows the game but still plays the game. By that I mean you're not gossiping about your exploits or about hers. You're just having fun, being aware of WHEN and WHERE you make moves, being non-judgmental of women and their sexuality, and taking on an air of "it just happened." Some more context here would be helpful. You s…
/r/seduction19/05/22 12:40 AM
2

Your Give a Shit threshold needs to be higher. If you think a random woman going silent on you once is bad, imagine if you actually have been living with a woman for a year or two and she starts pulling away. So you need to get a handle on your anxiety and stop living with a scarcity mindset. There are certain things that I started doing many years ago, that I still do today. Say I get a number from cold approach or from a dating app. If she seems to be giving me the runaround, I clear out our c…
/r/seduction16/05/22 08:36 PM
3

The key part is that you could have had it earlier and that she was desirous of it. The normal scenario on reddit dating subs, if we're being honest, is when a guy is hoping to be seen in that light and never is. So we tell him to move on, which is still sound advice.
/r/seduction16/05/22 03:26 AM
5

Definitely agree with the spirit of this post. HOWEVER, I don't fully agree with the word "validate." I'd say contend. First off, I think too many men are afraid of women's emotions. So while some guys are doing the solving thing you describe, other guys become too reactive to her emotions and preoccupied with "making her feel better," even if, dare I say it, she's being ridiculous as all humans can be. And while women usually only come at these things from the comfort part of the equation, foll…
/r/seduction15/05/22 03:25 PM
2

When I was inexperienced, here was my rule: I’m not doing any group hangs until I sleep with the girl at least once and she shows strong signs that she’s invested. Initial dates are me and her. Nowadays I might take this kind of date. But that’s also because if the date isn’t going as expected, I have no problem getting attention from other women. That seems to be the missing component here.
/r/seduction14/05/22 08:42 PM
5

Men who are 7-8/10 naturally find it extremely irritating when these women (5-6/10) brush them off immediately as if they are supermodels. After a certain point their hand is forced and they have to bring them back down to earth. So why wouldn't that same "7-8" guy just go after the plethora of other women in the "5-6" range (or above) that he should have abundance with? Rather than having a conniption over one woman? In my experience, the only men who lash out are those operating in scarcity an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 10:16 PM
5

Well before we even get to the text interaction, let's talk about your initial chat on Tinder. Because if that's weak, good luck turning the tide over text. Before I transition to text, I make sure I'm getting some investment from the girl (she's asking me questions, writing more than I am etc). I don't just get numbers to get numbers. I also start to seed the idea of a date on the app ("Let's grab drinks soon"). That way the number has a purpose, and when we make the transition, it's not this e…
/r/seduction08/05/22 06:56 PM
2

It's not a "red flag." But it could be an honest signal that what you thought was a perfect romantic date wasn't exactly that. And yeah, those dates that begin with a whole bunch of texting and a whole bunch of build up before even meeting, are tough to maintain in my experience. Part of success in this realm is listening to what you learn from women indirectly through their actions and calibrate your approach from there -- even if it seems counterintuitive. Because from what I've concluded, if …
/r/seduction28/04/22 02:30 AM
3

I didn’t have to worry about a text game before the date. Well maybe you should have. Because my alarm bells would have been going off with those kinds of love bomby interactions before even meeting. I would have pumped the breaks on some of it. No, not in a rude way. But in a playful way that communicated that we shouldn't spoil the movie before it even starts. Text game isn't just about how you engage with her. It's also about how you allow her to engage with you. And yet, despite all that "gr…
/r/seduction28/04/22 02:18 AM
17

Just because she's texting you doesn't mean you have to respond to every bit of content she hits you with every single time. I get the sense that you're not comfortable letting some of this stuff just sit and somehow feel the need to acknowledge every single thing she says. In addition, if you're genuinely interested in what kind of workout she's doing, that's fair enough. But I doubt it and if so, don't just ask things because you feel you have to. Part of success with women is treating them li…
/r/seduction22/04/22 12:07 AM
1

then she asked me what I mean, I said that it would be good that we kiss, she said maybe, I said it's either fuck yes or fuck no, she said okay, no. Too much talking. That's when you start leaning in and if she responds well, you go all the way in and just kiss her. And if she's not receptive, you play it cool and change the subject rather than harping on it. But all your talking, negotiating desire and putting her on the spot ("it's either a fuck yes or a fuck no"), and repeating yourself was j…
/r/seduction20/04/22 02:36 PM
16

I mean, validation is a top currency. As you gain more experience, you'll start to get a sense of who is just after your attention and who has genuine interest. That said, no clue what you mean by "honest/genuine." Focus more on making an ATTRACTIVE approach. It's a club. Being fun and interesting (while being calibrated) rules the day. How exactly did you go in? What did you do and say? Finally, you're likely overstating how much they thought about you. You're just a drop in the ocean most of t…
/r/seduction18/04/22 05:07 PM
7

0/5 is a bit extreme. Where are you meeting these women? Do they seem invested? Is there a big gap between when you set the date and when it actually happens? Are you staying moderately in touch in the interim?
/r/seduction18/04/22 01:05 AM
1

Ya just circle back in a few days. Get her replying and then pitch a drinks date at a bar. If she gives you the runaround again move on.
/r/seduction11/04/22 05:11 AM
2

I think it's worth leaving the door open. But I wouldn't immediately jump to reschedule either. Could be something to do with going straight to your apartment and not being fully comfortable with that. What's your history with this girl?
/r/seduction11/04/22 12:18 AM
3

I asked if she wanted to meet a again Statements are the name of the game a lot of the time, not questions. Also meet again for what? You're putting her on the spot and being vague to boot. Instead, just casually mention a date idea and ground it: "Another time, let's grab drinks." etc. Then she can either say yes or say no. she hesitated saying it was complicated with her ex. And how did you respond? I wouldn't have immediately escalated (ie asked for her #). First you need to address her objec…
/r/seduction09/04/22 05:13 PM
3

Hmm. Sounds like you made too big a deal about the kiss, man. And I'm going to play this from both sides. You know this girl better than I do. But I doubt this is the first kiss that she's ever had, or the first time she's gone out with a dude and then gone back to her mom after a makeout or maybe even much much more. In other words, in the moment, maybe it was fine to make a joke about the lipstick. But it wouldn't have necessarily have been my follow up message a day later. You never want to b…
/r/seduction07/04/22 04:25 PM
3

So let's see: 4 dates over the course of a month, not even a single kiss (never mind sex) and now you're going out of town for more than a month?! Hate to be the bearer of bad news but all the cards are stacked against you here. At least if you guys had actually started to get physical, there would be some deeper investment here. But thinking about it terms of "what can I do to stay on her radar" is missing the forest from the trees. Also, your second paragraph is another good example of being t…
/r/seduction05/04/22 03:34 PM
5

Relax. It's not ideal. But then again you're not the first dude to not be completely smooth with your escalation. The same misunderstanding you have about moments here is also why this is potentially not over. A lot of it comes down to the quality of the original interaction and how invested she is. Just let time pass and hit her up again without referencing it. In fact, the ability to smoothly bounce back now without being weird, double texting too soon, or harping on it is an attractive qualit…
/r/seduction27/03/22 11:36 PM
1

Haha ya you were prob fine til the last bit. You put all the onus on her, rather than taking some ownership yourself and LEADING the interaction there. There's only one thing she can say to that and she might not be ready to say it overtly. Bigger picture, a lot of guys make the mistake of thinking the girl is the exact same emotional state 15 hours later outside of the high energy environment of the club and now sober. Not to say you can't bring that state back. But you need to rev the engine a…
/r/seduction27/03/22 11:24 PM
2

"We meet again" "Deja Vu" etc
/r/seduction27/03/22 03:07 PM
7

Well, keep working on your interactions. You're only 23. You have plenty of time to get this part of your life handled and what is true now might not be true for you in 2 years. Off the bat, if a girl is sending you nudes, my question is why a date didn't happen a short time after that rather than letting several weeks pass. I'm also curious how you asked her out. Straight up asking her to hookup, for instance, would prob not be the move, either.
/r/seduction26/03/22 05:23 PM
4

She could've just been wanting validation/attention from the jump. That said, I'm not a fan of settling for "I'll let you know." Instead, I might've challenged her there. "pfft all talk eh" etc. Different situations require different energy and my guess is this one required more edge. Did you actually play on her "innocent" theme and escalate on it a bit?
/r/seduction22/03/22 07:26 PM
5

Things look promising so far. But you need to start grounding these plans a bit more. For instance: "Good answer... what time are you off work tmrw." That way you have a rough time worked out. Then tomorrow you'll confirm that time. I usually don't give my exact address out until a few hours before the date and/or until she asks. You can also talk about things like her needing to bring a bottle of wine if you're going to be Chef Ramsey. But overall, just a bit more grounding and getting more buy…
/r/seduction22/03/22 03:19 AM
2

Yes. When she's showing signs of investment: asking questions, starting to write more than you, putting effort into continuing the conversation etc.
/r/seduction21/03/22 03:23 PM
1

If you guys have already met and you built some value and relevance, this small baiting of investment shouldn't matter and is totally normal. And in my experience, it's trying less (shorter, snappier, not overinvesting) that makes the most impact with interested women, not trying more (being longwinded, overinvesting, worried about always being funny or holding her interest etc ).
/r/seduction21/03/22 03:21 PM
110

This was always the case with night game numbers, which is more about high energy than a simple matter of drunk vs not drunk. You've got to actually do something with that initial attraction. Like walk through the door of the club and go find late night food. Or invite her to an afterparty and get things popping. Otherwise, it was just a fun flirt in the moment a lot of times and by the next day, she's over it. A number should be your last option, not your first.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:25 PM
7

Gotcha. That's low interest then.
/r/seduction20/03/22 03:37 PM
16

Sounds like you're going 0-100. If you're announcing your name like that, you're clearly in the early stages of getting to know her. Say I had a positive online dating or cold approach interaction. A few hours or a day passes. I do not assume she's in the same emotional state when I hit her up. You want to do what you did in 1 step in a few steps. First I just announce my name and maybe some callback joke. Then I simply wait for her to reply. Then we banter a bit. Then on a high note I ask her o…
/r/seduction20/03/22 03:16 PM
13

One move might be to get to the party on the earlier side, make an impact, tell her you have to go meet some friends, and then circle back with her towards the end of the night. Or you can just tell her you have plans but you guys should stay in touch throughout the night. Then at the end of the night, you can invite her to yours/go to hers. You can also just do another night entirely.
/r/seduction18/03/22 01:48 PM
1

Asking about one micro moment on the train misses the point and your suggestions there would just register as incongruent.
/r/seduction16/03/22 06:16 PM
3

I’m curious why she is assessing me as some beta because I was completely unfazed when she was telling me about these other guys. The very fact that you're sitting there listening to her talk about other dudes is the issue, "unfazed" or not. There's a man to woman dynamic, and then there's everything else. A romantic/sexual dynamic primarily involves the story of YOU and HER as a pairing. Not her droning on about random dudes or her dating woes, which at this point she's even talking to you abou…
/r/seduction16/03/22 05:21 PM
6

Talking and laughing can be done by friends, too. Was there flirtation and tension? Did you get the feeling she wanted you to kiss her? Did you? How did the date end and who ended it? Was there talk of doing it again? These are the things you need to start paying attention to.
/r/seduction15/03/22 07:41 PM
9

What was the vibe on the date, what kind of physicality happened, and how did it end? On my very best dates, in many cases the women are the ones following up with me first.
/r/seduction15/03/22 06:49 PM
3

As a general practice, within 24 hours I just text her saying that was fun. Even if I don't necessarily want to see her again. You want to be decent and you want to reiterate that it was a mutually good experience. Often, she's the one initiating anyway. Don't get how you have no idea what to say. You spent a whole night and following afternoon with her. Surely you built some connection in that time. Callback humor and content. Flirty banter. Inside jokes. And so on. I'd text, not call.
/r/seduction15/03/22 04:15 PM
1

It's always better to use these painful lessons with new women who have no impression of you, than to try to reform the impression of a woman who has already made her conclusions about you. Abiding by this advice has made me much happier in dating and in life. Who knows. You guys may cross paths when you officially move to the city. But in my experience, assuming you continue on your grind and on your purpose, you'll be wondering why you were ever tripping about her in the first place.
/r/seduction13/03/22 08:31 PM
1

Made it through a decent amount of this, but then tapped out. Despite your title, first you need to know and internalize that there's nothing unique or complex or multi-layered about this story. This is a story I could've told when I was a younger. Many of my friends have told this story. And I've seen it on various dating subs for years. It's just another common story of over-investment, being more prude than the girl, and not jumping through an obvious window when it opens. Jane was fine. She …
/r/seduction13/03/22 08:00 PM
2

Focus more on making moves at these parties. That's the most reliable thing. Not IOIs that you may or may not be observing. And if you're settling for contact info, use it to invite her to another party. You're in college. People just want to have fun. A party is fun, low-pressure, and if you're boring/weird she can always move on to someone else. A date is potentially awkward and not something she can as easily extricate herself from. Also move away from using language like "meaningful interact…
/r/seduction13/03/22 04:28 PM
1

explain to her how i was just nervous and would like to try again. No. No more talking. Just ask her out confidently without the confessions and deprecation. You just need to act. It's possibly done with this one. Maybe something will get popping down the line. But the more important thing is to learn from your mistakes and try again with another girl.
/r/seduction12/03/22 01:52 AM
3

End of the day you just have to ACT, dude. And get to the point where these feelings of regret and remorse and missed opportunities are far more painful than the discomfort of pushing through your anxiety and inexperience in the moment. Maybe you're not there yet. No knock. It took quite a few fails like this before I finally decided to just ACT. There's no "perfect moment." That's a lie. With all the cues you got, it's as simple as moving in and kissing her, dude. It's as simple as asking to us…
/r/seduction12/03/22 12:09 AM
4

I mean, maybe she was hoping you would actually ask her out instead of just having protracted conversation for a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 09:08 PM
1

Does she know that's (so you claim) the only day you're free? Did you for instance say that when she counteroffered with lunch on Sunday?
/r/seduction10/03/22 08:05 PM
3

lol why does the date have to be on Saturday? Get a sense of her entire WEEK schedule, rather than just continuing to lob that same day out there with zero wiggle room. Clearly she's not a normal 9-5er. Also when a woman flakes on plans with no counteroffer, I don't immediately counteroffer. I simply leave space. In your case, she even sent you a video. So I might've bantered about her working at the salt mines. Then maybe I'd say "so what days ARE you actually not on the grind" Then I would pit…
/r/seduction10/03/22 07:30 PM
2

I mean, try to put yourself in her shoes. The last time you guys met up and hooked up, you ghosted her. That doesn't mean you need to write a long apology text to her now many months later. Nor does it mean that you won't eventually get her out. But on that one night, getting your validation and attention ("you may hate me I'm out at the place") without going out with you and risking another rejection might've been preferable. Anyway, in these cases, I find it best to just be chill and patient. …
/r/seduction09/03/22 10:56 PM
5

Limited context, but saying you're essentially down to be pen pals while you wait for her return to town isn't particularly flattering to you ("I'm down to flirt for an entire month"). A better framing might simply be "sure, maybe we can grab a drink when you're back" and then simply hitting her up on Hinge in a month. Or just adding her on IG, which can do a lot of passive work for you provided you have a good page. It also seems like you dropped your number -- perhaps prematurely -- all the wh…
/r/seduction08/03/22 03:43 PM
3

Not everything is a shit test. Keep it mind it's somewhat unusual for a woman to immediately jump into logistics with you on a dating app. So she shot her shot, you told her you couldn't do that specific day, and then maybe she realized it couldn't hurt to engage in a bit of getting to know you before a date. Anyway, I find these things are best dealt with with humor. You don't want to totally ignore her last message, but you also don't want to lose the original plot. "Lol probably wise. Gotta m…
/r/seduction07/03/22 09:44 PM
3

Interest is one thing. Making things happen within a window is another because interest can wane. And if we already postponed once, I might've been a bit more playfully persistent the second time. Some of my best dates have happened during bad weather. If the vibe was right, I might've just counter offered with afternoon of movies at my place or hers. She seems to have an aversion to one-on-one dates. Is this because of middling interest? Unclear. So let's see what happens at that b-day party in…
/r/seduction07/03/22 04:58 PM
1

After hours and hours of foreplay without sex, maybe she felt somewhat rejected and/or that you didn't know what you were doing. I could see how it would make her not all the way sure about meeting you again, so that yet again she'd be in a position of hours of hours of foreplay without sex. I could also see how she might also now be thinking that after such a long time being friends, maybe that's more appealing than this new category you're trying to move in now.... which wasn't all the way sat…
/r/seduction03/03/22 02:02 AM
5

Nothing too out of the ordinary. Y'all had some fun within the confines of a Vegas club and nothing more. But if you wanted to actually pull, you should've pumped the breaks on some of that escalation and found a better place to, ya know, actually have sex. Instead, you gave away the game, so why would she even want your number? I'm actually pretty conscious of situations where a woman is initiating on me now. It's even possible that I wouldn't have immediately agreed to ""Do you wanna make out?…
/r/seduction02/03/22 05:39 PM
2

Just because a girl doesn't respond once doesn't mean you've been "ghosted." And in any case, people use that word too liberally. Basically you broke rapport with the Italian part and then asked more out of her ("what's the second rule?") to boot. Why would she continue to invest in that environment? You should've just let the tease sit without the question and waited for her response, or avoided that tease entirely. I might've just said something like "you sound like an only child lol" or even …
/r/seduction01/03/22 10:41 PM
2

OK? And did you sleep with any of those women? There are people who take pride in not putting their personality on the line. Sure, maybe no one hates them. But no one loves them either. They are just tolerated. No one who is good with women advocates going 0-100. But you need to engage her, including physically. Sure you might rack up a bunch of early dates. But it'll never go anywhere because you're not actually putting anything on the line. You are merely being tolerated. This will always be t…
/r/seduction28/02/22 06:11 PM
2

You should've stopped talking to this girl 3 messages ago are my thoughts dude. Do you want to be plastered all over r/niceguys? This is unattractive, pointless, and embarrassing. The whole point of my initial suggestion is that it was the last message I would've sent to her. And for a guy who used to be quite inexperienced, I know it was an important first step in expressing my boundaries and intentions with women. Getting one random girl who put you in the friendzone isn't the point here. Defe…
/r/seduction27/02/22 06:09 PM
1

As a man learns what attracts the type of women he desires his game then improves. Well, many people are just spinning their wheels. But they think it's the only thing that'll work for them, or what they've been told will work, so that's what they stick to, even though it's largely in vain. So I’m assuming being a friendly ear doesn’t work as well as other “tactics” Def not. I'm skeptical of the money angle, too. Especially if that's the only thing you got going. Key is to max out your physical …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 08:58 PM
2

I would argue that every man has game, that is to say a set of things they lean on consciously or unconsciously to try to advance their sexual strategy. For some men that's coming in as a friend, listening to her problems and trying to be helpful. For others, it's leaning on money and the more transactional side of things. Even saying that you don't resort to game tactics and just want to be "genuine" can be considered game in some instances. Not all game is created equal, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 07:06 PM
3

Haha. Bingo.
/r/seduction25/02/22 09:29 PM
2

Huh? You just made an excuse that you couldn't make moves because you couldn't go back to her place. But there you were, outside of her place.
/r/seduction25/02/22 09:25 PM
2

And yet you did end up walking her back to her place, did you not?
/r/seduction25/02/22 09:21 PM
9

She brought up sex in a number of different ways with you, which suggests that the door was open for that that night. Yes, even when she was talking about having sex with another guy. It doesn't seem like you carried yourself as a dude who understood that and could lead things from Point A to Z, making her feel comfortable along the way. This includes confidently (but not too eagerly or overtly) navigating sexual topics and introducing touch. It also requires building on what she's saying rather…
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:52 PM
4

Happens. The longer you take to make a move when a window opens, the harder it becomes. The longer you take to make a move, the more you're desperate for super overt signals. Also there's a lot in here about the environment/circumstances being an obstacle, rather than bending these circumstances in your favor. Much less awkward to just say "hey, let's actually go sit over there on that couch those seats look like magic" 5 minutes into being on her rooftop, than it is to continue to let 30 minute…
/r/seduction24/02/22 09:13 PM
6

I mean, you elicited that by giving her a playful challenge/disqualifying. So why shouldn't she respond in turn? If you can't handle, stop turning up the dial. But really, it's no big deal. Key is to keep it light and playful and not turn it into a weird battle where she has to "lose" in order for you to "win." "My Tuesday horoscope. Said some other interesting things too about you tbh" etc
/r/seduction24/02/22 03:49 PM
2

If you think that's an example of "blowing up in his face," as if that's the sole metric of whether something is worthwhile or not, I can't help ya there bud. You gotta drink a bit more mental point of origin. Cheers.
/r/seduction23/02/22 02:59 PM
2

As I said, too much talk about her, not enough talk about him. If he had no interest in being "friends" and communicated that, that's not an L at all. In fact, it's an important step in acting with more congruence and authenticity. It's also an important step in holding strong regardless of the (transient) negative emotions of someone else.
/r/seduction23/02/22 02:54 PM
3

Lol. Too much talk about her and her wants, not enough talk about him and his wants.
/r/seduction23/02/22 02:48 PM
14

Don't reply bro. I could unpack why she's saying what she's saying now, which one might argue even involves a degree of manipulation. But the short of it is she's not entitled to your non-romantic attention any more than you are to her romantic attention.
/r/seduction23/02/22 01:33 AM
15

Eh. It's fine. I wouldn't even reply to that, dude. You have every right to your feelings. Gotta learn to tune some of this stuff out at the end of the day. On to the next.
/r/seduction23/02/22 01:29 AM
31

"I appreciate all that. I'm not interested in being friends, however, so prob best if we go our separate ways. Good luck out there!"
/r/seduction22/02/22 10:48 PM
5

Hey man lesson learned. Most bowling alleys have food. I would also avoid getting ahead of yourself and "surprising her" with multiple parts to a date in these early stages. Key is to just make an impact at the first venue, and then play it by ear from there assuming she seems game. I also find it better to start with a high energy environment (bowling) and then go to low energy (more intimate setting), rather than the other way around. For all those reasons, I would've just started at the alley…
/r/seduction22/02/22 08:27 PM
4

If the first date was "meh" the second date shouldn't have been dinner. I almost always save a sit down dinner until we're actually dating. You also want to be mindful of timing. Often, if I notice I'm being wedged between two plans or it seems like she has an early bedtime, I'll just decline the date and reschedule. Or start the date earlier. My first date is usually drinks. If things are going well, we might hit several bars, maybe get food to go, and then end up back at mine or hers. Second d…
/r/seduction22/02/22 07:49 PM
2

Yeah, that message didn't do much for you dude. But you're right, ball is in her court.
/r/seduction20/02/22 01:38 AM
3

In the fall, I was hooking up with someone for a bit. Then she started to be a bit wishy washy about meeting up again. So I just decided to move on. A month later, she resurfaces. I ignore the text. She ends up triple texting over the course of a week, including sending a pic. Things turned out well from there. All that to say, don't be afraid to not reply, and don't be afraid to be unconventional if you do reply. Texts like "lol" "oh hi" or even tapback on imessage can work. But overall, I thin…
/r/seduction20/02/22 12:35 AM
3

Happy to help man. I wouldn't be where I am now unless people helped me when I was coming up too.
/r/seduction18/02/22 06:28 PM
6

The reason i sent the messages was to accept what i had done, "Accept[ing]" what you did (what exactly do you think you did?) does not require sending a message. i do not think, i would have gotten a response at all if i had not done that. Anyone can reply to anything. Doesn't mean you're operating within a dynamic that is flattering. You would've been better off blaming that entire needy screed on your twin brother. And i want to change how it is. She replied asking for what the idea is. Shall …
/r/seduction18/02/22 05:05 PM
7

Been there. Long ago. But I've def been there. Here are a few key mindsets for the future: I'm on my own unique journey. What I currently perceive as a big deal, I might laugh at 5 years from now. Nonetheless, as long as I'm improving, and learning, I'm happy. That unique journey doesn't necessarily need to be shared with other people. Wait until they've proven a good investment. Your journey is PERSONAL and your own to carry. Honor that. Assume familiarity. Many things are only a big deal, if y…
/r/seduction18/02/22 04:47 PM
24

Sigh. All that was required was texting hey and signing your name. You went 0 to 1000, self-deprecated, and put her on a pedestal. She's just a human, man.
/r/seduction18/02/22 04:18 PM
2

I'd focus on joining some sort of intramural sport or club. Also, take on a campus job and pay for those fees, man. Where there's a will there's a way. Added benefit is that you usually get pretty close to those coworkers (at the cafe, as an RA etc). Thing is I have friends that have no interest in going out and friends who do. Both appeal to different sides of me.
/r/seduction14/02/22 05:21 AM
2

Pretty decent banter, dude. Don't love your last reply, though (“it sounds like your just trying to use me 😧”). For one, careful of bad grammar. Also, you're the one who introduced this roleplay and doubled down on it. I might've just assumed the positive and kept up the theme. Now it's time to shift things to a conversation about YOU and HER and ground things more. "lol at least buy me some chocolates first #vday" etc
/r/seduction14/02/22 04:58 AM
2

Well, what's your text game like? Out of every 10 matches, let's say 1-3 of them convert all the way to a date for me. The apps weren't around in my day, but I'd imagine guys who are making moves at college events and dorm/house parties will always stand out vs. guys solely relying on the apps. Building a strong social circle is really the key in college.
/r/seduction14/02/22 04:30 AM
2

It just seems like it's the guy who should do that and make it easy for her. More than a few women have driven to see me. No issues. Also notice how you're abiding by the rules of a provider, even though you both established that this is just a hookup. Anyway, if you do go my route, just be direct and assumptive about it. Don't make it seem like an imposition.
/r/seduction13/02/22 06:09 PM
3

Setup here seems a bit formal. Like you signed all this in blood lol. Most of my OLD hookups went down because of a vibe that was implied, rather than overtly stated. We flirt, I pitch an idea that suggests a straight to apartment hangout rather than out at a bar, she accepts, and then things get popping. Don't get why you assume she wouldn't drive an hour to see you. But that's what I would focus on, rather than waiting a whole month to see her, when for all you know she might just be keeping t…
/r/seduction13/02/22 05:34 PM
2

Maybe I phrased it poorly, but what I wish to say is that I don't want to call shots on all stuff or handle shit every time, ideal TRP woman is someone in support role 100% of time and I don't want that, besides that I guess I just find repulsive how much of my relationship relies on my "Burden of Performance" that I don't find them worth it to get into LTR You don't have to "call all the shots" lol. I'm a generally liberal, artsy intellectual dude who takes what makes sense from that corner of …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 08:01 PM
3

But not for LTR because like bro I am not gonna keep my frame and shit with the woman whose my mother of my kids for next 40-60 years, no matter what I do I am still that skinny goofy ass kid deep down, being dominant/assertive at all times is not me man, can't do it Well, there's a difference between pretending to be that guy and actually being that guy. After a time, it shouldn't feel like effort. Not saying it's easy to get to that point, but going through the fire and changing your mind abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 07:20 PM
2

Sounds like you pushed a bit too far. In the future, think more about buy in and investment. A pull should be a mutual thing, not one where you're push push pushing and then finally she gives in. Maybe she even actually liked you. But that doesn't mean she was fully comfortable. Sometimes, it's better to go to another intermediate venue, spend more time with her, and then maybe 45 min-1hr later then seeing if the vibe is more on. Or, ya know, leaving that til a next date. So right now back off, …
/r/seduction03/02/22 04:13 PM
3

Definitely racial nuances, but I don't think you can just apply a blanket statement here. Most of the people I learned from in the "community" were definitely not black. But they were people who I felt spoke my language -- enjoyed the verbal and text game side of things, very analytical in some respects but also with a high emotional intelligence, and focused on deeper inner game concepts like boundaries etc. However, the natural friends in my social circle I learned from are black. End of the d…
/r/seduction29/01/22 06:23 PM
1

Before you up and left, you should've spent more time acting with healthy entitlement with the date you were on. You didn't defend that at all and for some strange reason were trying to insinuate yourself into "their" conversation. WTF. Bad frame. You're on a date. At first, you do so by telling your date in a chill but firm way that she can catch up with her long lost friend later. I would have done that within 5-10 minutes if she didn't do it herself. I wouldn't have focused on the "bitch shie…
/r/seduction28/01/22 09:23 PM
44

Then she isn't interested, homie. Everything else is just noise. It's either you're her pen pal, or you're not. Just no need in wasting more energy on someone who isn't stepping up into the plate. The world is far too abundant for that.
/r/seduction28/01/22 02:39 AM
146

Ask her out, dude. It's already been a whole month since you guys last met in the flesh. The majority of "getting to know her" happens in person. If she says yes, that's a promising early sign. If she gives you the runaround, well, now you can move on.
/r/seduction28/01/22 12:21 AM
3

I'm a firm believer in calling certain things out. But not right now with not much investment on her end (as there should be as well on your end). So just chill until you meet. When you do meet, sometimes I call some of this stuff out playfully. "Ya, I think you might be the worst texter ever lol." I've been able to really get some girls to change their tune. Also, some of this can change once you go from random Tinder guy to real dude who she might like. So just focus on meeting up and take it …
/r/seduction25/01/22 05:23 AM
24

Why aren't you trying to progress things further when you're actually with her in person, dancing with her at these parties, and making out? That's what I would be focused on. Making moves in the moment when she's right there in front of you, dude. For all you know, she just wants wants to have some fun and continuing to apply your romantic default here -- even when she's giving you the runaround about these formal dates you're trying to plan -- clearly isn't working. So try something different.…
/r/seduction24/01/22 06:17 PM
3

Got it. For starters, I'd say it depends on the nature of our relationship and what stage we're in. With someone I haven't met yet, it's rarely daily. Usually a rapid fire exchange (or a few texts over the course of day) but then maybe silence for a few days. My focus is on getting her out. After we've gone on a date or two, and we're starting to develop a shared story, there should be a growing chest of callback humor and content you can draw upon. That's where stuff like Spotify might come in.…
/r/seduction19/01/22 11:06 PM
1

What exactly do you mean by "continuous"
/r/seduction19/01/22 10:15 PM
2

u/EggsEggsEggsTentacio No, not out of the blue stuff necessarily. I'm talking about things that are relevant, fun, show intent, and talk about things from your own perspective and experiences. Your value comes from your VALUES... what you've experienced, how it's influenced you, and what you can share with others. But you need to think about these things through an emotional lens a lot of the time. This isn't about pure facts and figures. This is about how you make her FEEL and the emotions you …
/r/seduction19/01/22 05:54 PM
2

Sigh. This entire field report is focused on what was being "done'" to you by some external force (the girl or just "circumstance") rather than what you could've done to change your fate. I get it, dude, and have been there. But end of the day field reports should be about ACTION, not you noticing 10 IOIs, getting emotionally invested in them, but never trying to act on them. Totally OK to fail. For most of us here who aren't naturals, this is how it goes for some time. This is all about trial a…
/r/seduction18/01/22 05:06 PM
3

Great insight here. In a way I was looking for that physical confirmation that she was into me. It's funny, you talk about shit tests in your post, but arguably the non-reactivity that the hottest girls have when you barely know them might be the biggest test of all. So how are you going respond?! Are you calibrated? Do you have self-belief? And of course I get it, dude, and have been there. We're all on a journey. But think about it from her perspective. A good looking guy with relatively good …
/r/seduction15/01/22 08:45 PM
5

When I got home from vacay, I asked her out for coffee. She gave me a bit of a shit test but I brushed it off and she agreed. I'm curious to know exactly what she said and how you responded. That could make a difference in the premise of the date being on flattering terms for you or not. Anyway, in my experience, you shouldn't be getting shit tests when you ask her out. BEFORE you ask her out potentially. But you need to be aware of buy in and investment. And if she's invested, at least to the e…
/r/seduction15/01/22 04:06 PM
1

Sigh. You were given one more chance, and essentially ran the same date as the first time. Bar hopping. Drinks. But no escalation beyond that. No plan beyond that. Even though her apartment was an option yet again. Even though you could've even started the date there. Harping on the cigarette stuff is almost beside the point and missing the forest from the trees. She did that in part b/c it was a departure from the monotony. Now, you've likely missed the window. Oh well.
/r/seduction10/01/22 06:10 AM
1

Can't speak on London, it's been ages. But I've always found SF to be pretty solid, both for OLD as well as going out to bars and lounges. Pretty chill approachable women in the Marina and Mission Districts. I'd try to live near the former. Downtown Oakland is definitely on the rise too. Good sunday fundays over there.
/r/seduction06/01/22 12:13 AM
1

"I love your bio." I used to use that one with decent success. But seriously, you need to learn how to spin something out of nothing. You have at least 3 pictures, her location, her hometown, as well as potentially her work and her school too. All of these can be used to drive an interesting conversation. Make a playful assumption or issue a playful challenge related to food. ("I sure hope you believe in gluten" etc.) But you have to start thinking outside of the box rather than so literally and…
/r/seduction05/01/22 03:30 AM
3

Been seeing her for a month or so. I was confirming plans and she tells me she has covid. Seems pretty normal to me. Word on the street is, there's still a global pandemic going on. My initial thought after hearing this would be to express concern, wish her well and if I saw her in the past 7 days, get my butt to a testing center and lay low until I knew I was in the clear. This would be top of mind above all else, not whether someone I've been seeing for a month was lying to me because she flak…
/r/seduction04/01/22 07:31 PM
2

it’s long distance Sigh. I’m usually the type of guy who can get a lot of girls Which might explain why you're particularly invested in the one girl you can't "get." I enjoy my time with her so this isn’t as big of a deal So why are you talking about this? Either it's a (big) deal or it's not. I suspect it is. But if you're here twisting your words in a post to strangers, good luck acting congruently when you're in the flesh with this woman. it doesn’t add up because we’ve built trust and she is…
/r/seduction04/01/22 03:54 PM
3

Just relax dude. Echoing the advice of u/the-dan-man and u/surfershane25. Too many men are told they just need to "try harder" and that will solve all their problems. But the truth is interested women are more than capable and willing to hit you up and initiate things, too. I mean, she was showing interest all night. Why don't you trust her to continue to do that over text? So yeah, just leave some space sometimes. And get something popping for later this week or over the weekend. With a girl I …
/r/seduction03/01/22 06:55 PM
4

Well, I guess I'm going to have to be the contrarian here and say yes, you could've tried a bit more here haha. Doesn't mean she didn't have a good time. And it doesn't necessarily mean you're cooked here. But in my experience, when a woman picks a bar close to her place, is willing to bounce all over to many different bars deep into the night, she's down. But that requires you to take some leadership and steer the ship at points, rather than just being whisked away. I always notice field report…
/r/seduction03/01/22 06:19 AM
2

The only thing I can think of is that I'm coming across boring and my energy is off. Who knows. We only have your self-reporting. People need to start posting chats on here if they actually want targeted advice. Off the bat, I find it notable there's no mention about actually asking these girls out. Just conversation and then alleged ghosting. Text is a tool at the end of the day. So my guess it has to do with that and/or the manner in which you're going about the date pitch.
/r/seduction02/01/22 11:45 PM
6

that screenshot is from december 13th or sth,i just left her on seen. good points on the rest. You might've gone silent for too long. You're just a random dude who she talked to for what 5 minutes?! And your last message was negative/uncalibrated to boot. what would be the most ideal text? a list of days Im free for a drink? No need to go 0-100 man. Just send a simple Happy New Years text/meme, get a short back and forth going, and then ask her out on a high note.
/r/seduction02/01/22 05:40 PM
4

A few mistakes here, including adopting an unflattering frame and assuming the negative by calling her reply an "excuse." You just come across as childish and reactive, reinforcing this huge age gap. It's the holidays, you're just a random dude she has minimal investment in, and you lobbed a specific day with zero wiggle room without getting logistics first. This is just asking for a no. I almost always operate with an intermediate step first. "What's your week looking like?"/"I'm freer 2nd half…
/r/seduction02/01/22 05:11 PM
78

A number of reasons: Women are the receptive gender, and generally not the gender that initiates -- at least in heterosexual relationships. While us men often pedestalize this position, it does have plenty of drawbacks. One is that you're often waiting for the guy to act on something that you want to happen, that you clearly (but covertly lol) have communicated that you want to happen, but don't feel fully empowered to act on yourself. So on the heels of a missed window of opportunity or several…
/r/seduction01/01/22 08:10 PM
3

You sound like a shy dude who's in his head way too much and afraid to make moves. And while a lot of guys are worried about women thinking we're unattractive/incompetent when we don't make moves (it can), it can also make women think we're uninterested. Perhaps it's a mix of the two here. It's rough when things have so much build up to them. You'd been on 2 dates and wanted to finally make a move on date 3. Only, it still had to be "perfect." No way you could've done it as soon as you saw her..…
/r/seduction29/12/21 08:37 AM
1

They get bitter, or they get better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 05:50 PM
3

I think that's a fair caveat, which is why I said don't be overbearing and def be fun. Mansplaining is def a thing and women, just like anyone else, don't like being condescended to. But also in a dating context, mansplaining is problematic because it's appealing to LOGIC, rather than emotions. In the realm of logic, you're winning and she's potentially losing. In the realm of emotions, the energy I'm bringing is one of win/win. Just like my playful bets. Sure, maybe I'm "teaching" her something…
/r/seduction26/12/21 07:50 PM
2

Alex V, Todd V, Manwhore (back in the day).
/r/seduction26/12/21 06:27 PM
3

Sigh. You don't even say what "texting guides" you're using. I have a handful I'd vouch for. The majority I would not. No doubt this comes down to your text game if you're pulling in all these matches, but only a few are converting. But without the convos, I'm left to give more general advice. One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the importance of generating buy in and investment. Yes, you want to be pitching a date sooner rather than later and getting off the app with plans to meet. But yo…
/r/seduction26/12/21 04:21 PM
40

Bowling used to be a go to non first date for me. Friendly bets during each bowling game. High fives and other physicality when she bowls a strike/you bowl a strike. Standing behind her and helping with her form (but don't be overbearing about it... end of the day this should be fun). Many bowling alleys also have air hockey and an arcade, which allows you to move around almost as if you're going to multiple venues not just one. They also have bars you can move to, assuming it's not a dingy one.…
/r/seduction26/12/21 02:34 AM
1

lol no. M early 30s. Pulling in women 24-35.
/r/seduction26/12/21 02:26 AM
8

so what do you do if you can't really see the signs of interest? So try to learn more about these cues which can run the spectrum from quite subtle to fairly obvious. Reapplying lipstick/chapstick in the middle of the date. Asking if you want to get another drink. Asking what your plans are after the date. Asking where you live. Crossing her legs at the ankles when talking to you on the street, signaling she's not immediately ready to run off. And so on. Also, part of it is just assuming the pos…
/r/seduction21/12/21 06:01 PM
41

Solid post overall. However: 1) If a first date doesn't go to a second date, the most common reason is a lack of sexual/physical attraction. Have you ever had a pleasant first date with good convo and laughs to just be ghosted? Chances are she looked across the table for 5ish seconds and thought "not fucking this guy." Attraction cuts deeper than pure looks. Looks get you in the door, for sure. But a dude who is physically attractive can undermine that by the way he carries himself, what he says…
/r/seduction21/12/21 04:53 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDating/comments/q5auzb/the_hardest_part_of_dating_is_doing_everything/hg4oryv/ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ql7qom/males_who_are_great_at_texting_and_get_a_lot_of/hj1ov90/ https://www.reddit.com/r/askseddit/comments/qr2xle/maximize_2nd_date_chances/hk4rj2r/ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qo2eo9/double_texting/hjka7tn/
/r/seduction19/12/21 08:27 PM
3

Correlation doesn't mean causation. Women start chats with me on dating apps. Or even approach in real life. Nothing wrong with the act itself and if I'm attracted I'll step up from there. But if you find that's what you're mostly doing, you're likely going after men out of your league. That's the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 04:47 PM
37

Some good thoughts here. If I may add a few others, beginning with this caveat... Introversion isn't the same as shyness. I used to be both. Now I'm just introverted, in the sense that I generally draw my energy from being alone, and need a recharge period after long drawn out social commitments. That said, I love going out and mingling with friends and more than friends. Here are few challenges with introversion I've found: -Misperceived as being too aloof/uninterested, especially if you have s…
/r/seduction18/12/21 04:30 PM
3

Well, life isn't easy. I grew up with some key advantages/privileges. But I also had several big struggles, including one that threatened to turn my entire life upside down. All that to say, assuming that you come out on the other side, life has a way of seasoning you as the years go by. The qualities that a man needs to be successful in life and as a byproduct with women, take a long time to cultivate. How can you tell an 18 year old to be self amused with people when he's barely seen the world…
/r/seduction16/12/21 03:45 PM
3

Biggest issue here sounds like one of intent. Is this a romantic interaction or a platonic one? This needs to be clear. Obviously not over the top -- you guys are in the same class -- but you do need to bake that in. I would've framed it more like a "study break", one where you guys could've actually had some fun and had a break from this busy time. Or even an after finals celebration. This might've been a date best scheduled for a few days later, in other words. Anyway, ya just leave some space…
/r/seduction12/12/21 07:33 PM
3

What's the story? Looks like that post was deleted.
/r/seduction12/12/21 06:18 PM
12

Ah, thanks for the much improved context. This sounds like pretty standard stuff and not a ghost at all. You're still handling logistics, but sometimes when you get a no/not yet, it sets you back to other phrases of conversation. You also replied a day later seems like (not saying it's an issue), where the energy of partying/talking about partying had died down. And she still did respond to the pic you sent in the form of a like. but hasn’t responded to me rescheduling the date to friday. In tex…
/r/seduction12/12/21 05:24 PM
15

Wait a sec, did you "kinda" set a date or did you ACTUALLY set a date? Solid date plans involve a DAY and a TIME and a VENUE. That wishy washy energy has a lot more bearing on your success than anything else you posted, a lot of which is based on speculation. Also, a lot of guys are a bit too pessimistic about silence. It happens. Sometimes conversations come to an end. Or maybe your question was a lame/weird one. Anyway, if you've already made SOLID plans to meet a girl, small talking the girl …
/r/seduction12/12/21 04:52 PM
2

If people weren't doing that, how have booty calls been happening since time immemorial, or at least since Edison lol. Ideally you'd do it smoothly and as a series of steps, rather than one big 0-100 step. My sense is that there are deeper problems here. Taking women too seriously/literally. Being too serious/literal yourself. And with your text game. You need to learn how to banter, communicate covertly, and then pull the trigger in a confident and chill way. This should be FUN and a win/win ho…
/r/seduction07/12/21 10:27 PM
2

I don't know exactly where she lives, so I don't think it was that simple. You could've ya know, asked lol
/r/seduction07/12/21 07:06 PM
16

You're all talk and no action. I suspect that deep down you kind of know this. Others made some good points about your passivity the night of, but there's incongruity that oozes through every part of the field report, start to finish. You clearly have a fear of escalation that you're projecting onto her by calling her a tease, or by trying to get her to assume all responsibility for the interaction, or even by titling this post what you have. That way if things go bad you can always just put the…
/r/seduction07/12/21 07:34 AM
3

This is where frame and having your own mental point of origin comes in, which hopefully would've been cultivated having had a range of experiences with women and in life. You also hopefully would have established a strong social circle with likeminded people your age, younger than you (to keep you "young"), and even older than you (to keep you wise), who all still enjoy going out on the town. Sure that might not be what the entire world is doing, but it's what YOUR world is doing so who cares a…
/r/seduction06/12/21 09:15 PM
9

Edit: some of you dont realize that this is all about inner game and confidence. If a girl sends you a message that is so hard to reply to that you literally have to change the topic it is clear that the conversation has died out naturally. Too many guys are afraid to let it die out because they are insecure and believe it you dont give her constant attention then she wont like you. Which is totally wrong and actually the complete opposite. Makes perfect sense to me been doing it for years. Text…
/r/seduction06/12/21 08:21 PM
1

Well, part of dating is kissing a lot of frogs. Or not kissing them, of course, cuz diseases lol. But really if you've been on enough dates, you should have noticed some patterns by now. For instance, I find women who aren't getting my humor and building on it (not just "loling"), probably aren't for me. I need a little banter over text. In the past, I've ignored these instincts. Don't. Part of it is that I don't only "text for logistics." I'm not blowing up her phone, but I'm a solid enough tex…
/r/seduction04/12/21 07:32 PM
2

Couple of problems. Negging is often used as catch all, something to describe every aspect of seduction/pua from the outside looking in from people who don't know nor care to. Heck, it's sometimes used to describe every murky/ambiguous/strange behavior by men who have never even put their paws on that biblical book released back in '05. So first we need to define what this stuff actually is. We also need to make a distinction between someone who took a 101 Class, clumsily applying material, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 08:54 PM
2

If I have sex with a guy right away, it's because I already ruled him out for a relationship. If you're talking right away right away, I think this is sometimes true. I know as a black guy, there are some women that just want to have some fun. I've been burned by my fair share of women I wanted more with who didn't have that in mind. I've also been in the position where women would've been surprised if I ever wanted something serious with them. Maybe not so much because they disqualified me but …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/21 05:09 AM
2

The problem with this statement is that you don't get into detail about precisely what "rules" are being broken and how. It's one thing to simply and clinically say that Dude A doesn't have to wine and dine and gets sex on the first night while Dude B has to put in more time and equity. It's another to describe what KIND of sex and how it goes down. I and other men have experienced hard and fast rules like condoms and even quarantine protocol being broken. This in the face of that refrain early …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 08:59 PM
1

You're skipping some pivotal details here. Most importantly, how you left the interaction. Did you get her number? Her Instagram? Did you get a sense of her typical schedule? Did you make it clear you wanted to hang out? These are all things that help in my experience. When you make sure this stuff is already baked into the interaction, when you follow up, it would never be so generic and unfamiliar: "hey it's xyz from abc gym." Instead, there should already be momentum. You guys already would'v…
/r/seduction17/11/21 06:10 AM
-1

Men and women are different. Our attraction floor is, well, a bit more liberal. And for good reason, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 12:42 AM
1

Haha cool. We agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 12:40 AM
1

This isn't about should. Just describing the dynamic when those "chads" deal with women not at all in their league.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 12:13 AM
0

Problem is, as always, people only using the language of one side of the equation. There's no talk of things like women traveling many minutes/hours to see you, initiating texts/dates, paying for herself on the date or better yet even paying for BOTH of you, and so on. Then by the end, we're supposed to believe she's getting the comfort she wants, that which she actually values in the long run, when it's clear this is not what this ever was.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 11:51 PM
1

See my edit.
/r/seduction09/11/21 11:09 PM
5

Overall, you're far too reactive and trying to change her mind instead of her mood. Apologizing and asking if she's "still mad at you," as a random dude 2 weeks later is just not necessary. In fact, it's a bit strange. She just lobbed some words at you. You can either accept her framing or introduce something more flattering. At the time, I might've just said how random that was and told her I guess I have good taste. The key in these moments is to just address the objection/condition. It's not …
/r/seduction09/11/21 10:48 PM
3

I told you. Prioritize women who don't give you the runaround and want to meet sooner rather than... a whole year later.
/r/seduction09/11/21 02:52 AM
1

Doesn't matter. Anyway, my man, on to the next.
/r/seduction09/11/21 02:50 AM
5

Eh. These are things that ought to be playfully challenged in the moment. It doesn't sound like you did that. I might've playfully told her it's no worries I'll switch to cardio barre if she breaks my heart. And anyway, I'm focused on this particular descriptor "she kept playing hard to get," which again, is not a sign of high interest. You did eventually get her out. My argument, though, is that the narrative was already working against you.
/r/seduction09/11/21 02:49 AM
7

Jeez, dude. The most important part of this story is that it took a year for you guys to meet. The timescale on most of these things from first contact to first date should be measured in days to a week or two (exempting travel), not months or a FULL YEAR. Women of high interest want to meet sooner rather than later. Any deviation from that, well, I move on to more interested prospects.
/r/seduction09/11/21 01:09 AM
6

Directly asking a girl if she just wants to hook up isn't the play. You need to create meaning out of what she said and reframe it. I'm curious to hear what you said BEFORE to trigger that reply.
/r/seduction08/11/21 03:07 PM
10

Yes, this is fair. I've experienced this. But I've also experienced women auto-rejecting -- that is to say, rejecting me before I inevitably rejected them -- because they thought I wasn't interested in them when I didn't circle back and stay moderately in touch. I don't think it's a simple matter of likes you vs not likes you. In fact, the more a girl likes you, the more potential anxiety that engenders... which you at times need to address. Similarly, it's true that on especially good first dat…
/r/seduction07/11/21 06:59 PM
5

Nah man. I'd change the subject completely. And as I said, you need to start bringing value, rather than having a her-focused conversation. YOU need to bring the conversational gold here at the start, rather than continuing your barrage of small talk questions. This is how she, if interested, opens up. I might start by saying something like: "We made it to Saturday... finally." Then from there you talk about your plans. She shares something about hers. And then on a high note you ask her out.
/r/seduction06/11/21 04:14 PM
5

"I'm doing accounting" is pretty bland and close-ended. You haven't said why you chose this major. You haven't said what you want to do with it. You haven't used language that provokes emotions. You haven't related what you said to what she said. You're barely scratching the surface and then blaming her for not replying. Guys need to start bringing more value to these conversations and not being so pessimistic over a bit of silence. Just double text in a few days if no reply. More importantly, m…
/r/seduction06/11/21 03:53 PM
3

Haha. I think this might be one of those times using clinical game terms isn't useful to getting at the simple emotional truth. You're at 40k feet, but really you just need to be at sea level. She asked for commitment and you didn't (immediately) say yes. She starts dangling that she has other options (real or not) and you have an internal conniption. So on some level, you obviously do care. So why did you say "I'll think about it?" But indeed, you guys aren't exclusive. So why is what she is (o…
/r/seduction06/11/21 01:50 PM
2

No one size fits all. And frankly, on some of my very best dates, the woman is the one circling back first. A girl I dated for a bit recently sent a voice memo a few hours after our first date. A date I had this week, we talked about a second date at the end of the first, and she initiated the next day with some callback humor. If you're doing the initiating, which let's face it will mostly be the norm in these early stages, I'd focus on callback humor/content too. If I've slept with the girl, a…
/r/seduction06/11/21 05:34 AM
1

Hmm. There's a lot of logistics going on here. She might've cooled. In my experience, you need to back off making plans a bit and give value/go back to earlier connection points. I'd reply with something like: "Sheesh we really are two busy souls aren't we lol." See how she plays with that. Then you can gauge the vibe from there. I'd keep her on your radar but not get your hopes up. If you want examples of how this can eventually pay off feel free to PM.
/r/seduction05/11/21 06:46 PM
2

I hear you bro. But you're not fully listening. It's passive/aloof because she told you when she was free ("busy week"/"free starting Saturday") and yet you told her well let me know when you're free! WTF. Think about it from her perspective. She just did lol. No bueno, brother. And now you're circling back several days later on the heels of this muck up. You might be OK. She might eventually reply. But it's not ideal. And we can all talk about how "impersonal" texting is, but the fact of the ma…
/r/seduction05/11/21 06:26 PM
2

"No dramas, let me know when your schedule clears up and we can work something out it'd be nice to meet up". Well, looking at this again, your line wasn't the greatest. It was passive and maybe even aloof, when again, this all could've been avoided if you handled her clear logistics. She told you when she was free. You just didn't listen. Next time, here's how I would've handled it, when she offered Saturday. "Rats, can't do Saturday. I'm out of town. How about early next week?" Then she replies…
/r/seduction05/11/21 06:18 PM
1

Always better to use the (funny/unfortunate/painful) lessons and experiences from the past to inform how you relate with new women in your life, rather than trying to reform the impression of women you've already encountered.
/r/seduction04/11/21 03:58 PM
13

Dude, she told you in person she had a busy week coming up and yet you immediately lobbed a specific day (with zero wiggle room) early in that busy week. That's just asking for a no. Get a woman's schedule first and/or pick TWO days so there's more wiggle room there. I would've started soft closing by calling back to the actual logistical information she already provided me with irl. "And how's your wk looking... still actively avoiding fun or no ; ) " etc The let me know stuff doesn't work reli…
/r/seduction03/11/21 03:27 PM
1

I wouldn't. If anything, that puts MORE pressure on her because it's like you planned this grand affair with great expectations. I wouldn't even be doing dinner if this is a first date, man. Anyway, women follow through on dates because of emotional investment and connection. Not because you try to manufacture a binding contract. Sounds like you've already got her agreement for now. Part of success here is making moves and then being confident enough that it'll pan out ... or if it doesn't oh we…
/r/seduction03/11/21 04:25 AM
3

Sounds like buyer's remorse like others have said. Personally, I never follow up like you do.. ("Hey is the offer to come over and watch a movie still on?") I get a short back and forth going FIRST so things don't feel perfunctory. Your words here are also oddly serious and un-fun. Even if I'm only seeing a girl casually, I'm still playing on callback humor/content from our dates, not immediately harkening back to something she said in the heat of the moment -- just before having sex with you by…
/r/seduction02/11/21 11:34 PM
47

Well off the bat I'd say it's important to realize text is not normal irl communication. Silence doesn't have to mean perpetual silence (if you follow up) and so on. I once opened a girl on Tinder with an emoji. She sent one back. And we set an entire first date purely through emoji and images. To be sure, this isn't the norm. But there are a whole lot creative things you can do here. Statements can drive conversation just fine and are far more interesting than boring small talk questions. Give …
/r/seduction02/11/21 07:03 PM
3

Good plan. But in your case I wouldn't wait that long. I'd circle back Thurs/Fri. And ya lol. That text just sounds like clumsy escalation. Might've killed it. But who knows. Too many guys out there going 0-100. It's just not necessary. And think about it from her perspective. What the heck do you expect her to say to that, and especially several days later when she's no longer in the party emotional state she was before? Flirty is fine. Even sexual can work. But you've got to build up to that. …
/r/seduction02/11/21 04:24 PM
4

Depends on the actual text. The degree to which you can come back from it also involves how much investment and narrative there is. Given you guys just met, there's not much. I remember one time I sent a pretty incongruent "that's what she said" joke to an older woman when we were having quick back and forth texting a few days after a first date. She went completely silent. But I didn't panic. A week later I was traveling and went to a restaurant with her native cuisine. I just sent a pic of my …
/r/seduction02/11/21 03:05 PM
4

Social proof and preselection is always key, doubly so when you're trying to date out. It's tough when you're just a random. When I approached Asian women with my good Asian homie, all of a sudden I had an "in" and they were curious. When I entered a bar with a very attractive woman who happened to be white, later on another random woman held onto my hand and smiled. I think there's great benefit as far as enriching your life in having a diverse friend group. But this will also provide some help…
/r/seduction01/11/21 06:25 AM
21

Eh. 10 years from now you might be a guy with plenty of experience. And who a number of women want. Then what? This stuff isn't fixed. Never too late to make a change, homie. And piggybacking off the good post by frecklie here, I also think you need to investigate your impulse to confess and overshare from the jump. It suggests you're bracing for a moment when you'll be "found out" or "exposed." But believe it or not most people aren't great detectives and are too wrapped up in their own insecur…
/r/seduction29/10/21 01:42 AM
2

I missed this. what was the post?
/r/seduction21/10/21 05:30 AM
8

Be proactive. Make yourself known to the friends earlier. Get a sense of where your girl fits within the pecking order, and if she's not the one who tends to make decisions for the group, befriend the the girl who is. Start soft pitching bounce ideas and getting logistics earlier, both to her and to the overall group. So instead of going 0-100 at closing time, at 12:30-1am start asking: "Where are you guys heading after this? Any plans? We're planning on going to an afterparty it should be fun y…
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:09 PM
7

Field reports are always useful because they reveal what a guy thinks is important and what he thinks isn't. To me, you completely glossed over the most important moment in your FR... the exact moment when she was presumably whisked away by her friends or walked away on her own back to them. What exactly did that look like, what did you do in response (if anything), and what might you do in the future to be more proactive about it?
/r/seduction15/10/21 07:57 PM
2

For sure. Some of the strongest IOIs I've received also involved preselection. One time, I come in with this one (quite good looking) woman and we attract some attention. Maybe about 30 minutes in she says she has to go to the bathroom. I go to the bar to order another drink and this other random girl straight up grabs on to my hand and holds it with a smile.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 10:07 PM
1

I typically wouldn't sext but she wanted to make sure that my body type was to her liking before she's willing to meet up. Bad frame, man. As I've said before, just because a girl asks you something, doesn't mean you have to answer it. And if you do, it doesn't mean you have to answer it in the way she expects. Sure, maybe I'll give her some pics. But not before being a playful tease beforehand. And making sure I'm getting pics back that are to my liking as well. This stuff should be mutual. Add…
/r/seduction02/10/21 05:38 PM
2

Agreed. Calling can work. But not randomly on the heels of silence for more than a week and when the last convo was sexting. She won't even know what OP wants from her and so easier just to ignore it.
/r/seduction02/10/21 02:47 PM
2

A couple of things. As a general rule, I don't sext girls I haven't met/slept with yet. You might just trigger buyer's remorse and give away the game. Given the choice between exchanging a few steamy texts vs. actually meeting and doing the thing, I'll choose the latter. If I do sext early on, I'm making sure I'm meeting that girl within 48 hours. In my experience, there's a very narrow window here. Also, just like if I actually had sex with a girl, I would've followed up the next day and had no…
/r/seduction02/10/21 02:38 PM
11

First of all women are people, not fish. It's an analogy. And fishermen haven't really been big since Melville. Secondly when people say watch what women do, not what they say it is ignoring the nuance of their relationships and not acknowledging the intimate conversations that go on between them and the guy they’re seeing, often times men use love bombing as a way to attract a woman, then they withdraw affection. This is what guys see and they assume girls like assholes, they don’t. They just g…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 03:30 PM
2

Well, I think women are much better at being artful in their communication -- when rejecting a guy ("I think you're a great guy but I'm not ready to date right now!"), when giving dating advice, when speaking in plain sight about raunchy hookups and so on. Some of this is pragmatic and as a defense against a bad male reaction. Some of it is as a shield against societal and/or social circle shaming. Some of it may be all about nature not nurture. I'd say a lot of male frustration comes from not f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 04:02 AM
12

As a naturally introverted dude who's worked hard at dating here are some other pitfalls, but also pros. -Misperceived as being too aloof/uninterested, especially if you have some degree of looks. Women will auto-reject before you reject them. -Lack of emotional range. Being able to hit a range of emotional registers with women, and provoke a range of emotions in them, is a big attractor. But there are also advantages: -Less likely to talk too much. And with a lot of talking comes the higher cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:26 PM
2

Well, I'd argue that the most balanced men have both strong male friendships in their life as well as a woman (or women) in their lives that fulfills the sexual/romantic part of the equation. But men need both and one cannot serve as a stand in for the other. They are different vats that cannot be mixed. The friendship vat can be completely full and the sexual one completely starved. And while women are seemingly much better at cultivating a social ecosystem, and speak about the virtues of it, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 02:08 PM
2

Eh, doesn't bother me. I have no problem paying for a first date. My default is something that doesn't break the bank like drinks. But my experience is one where the overwhelming majority of women have contributed to the first date to some degree. Some paid entirely for themselves. And some have paid entirely for BOTH of us. As usual, people are only globing on to one part of the sexual strategy. The other side, doesn't require "spoiling" at all and in fact I'm pretty sure I've talked a few wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 04:09 AM
2

I'm not particularly paranoid about high body counts or cheating. However, I'd argue these women would be at least as concerned about YOUR reputation as they are lending insight about their friends' rep. And it needs to be inline with what her and her friends are prioritizing. Women have tried to set me up before, some with the intention of finding her a good BF when I registered more on that level, and some for finding her some fun when I registered more as the fun guy. The latter isn't talked …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:49 PM
2

A brother
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:22 PM
10

Haha outside of Reddit, I haven't really known men to say that. At least not the men in my extended circle. The only men who would overtly say that, aren't accustomed to women who respect them. Or don't yet have enough experience to frame things in terms of what they WANT from women, rather than what they don't want. Slightly related, but one of my biggest disagreements with RP is around "high value men" not wanting educated/accomplished women. Only, they're using the examples of new-money celeb…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 03:34 PM
0

Leggy brunettes from the east coast, black women, half-Asian women usually of the artsy/academic variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 03:21 PM
9

One of my 3 physical types. For hookups/casual, I cast a wider net. But relationships, I'm pretty rigid. More introverted than extroverted. But not a wallflower either. Can get dolled up and hit the town a few times a month. Needs to be able to give playful shit and not just agree. But not too disagreeable either. Not a super early riser/early to bed type, not sober (but not a huge drinker either). College-educated+ usually. Able to talk about art and culture. Has an expertise I don't and can te…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 03:05 PM
2

Disagree on Hinge. At least in NYC and LA. Quality is to be had, though in NYC these days a chunk of it requires Standouts/Roses. Mix in superboosts on Thurs/Sundays, which I think have propelled me to standouts a few times. But your profile had to have been getting hits to begin with. NYC I play on pedigree (education/where I was raised) and LA more superficial.
/r/seduction06/08/21 02:32 PM
1

I'll put it this way, before I had any luck with women, I was envious of men who did and the latitude it appeared they had. I had one college homie who was active all around campus, had women cry over him, only to have some of those same women come back a few days or weeks or months later. To the extent that men might "side" with dude in video, it's because of hero worship, wish-fulfillment and catharsis. Maybe their W can make up for all of my Ls. Also worth noting that this woman was the one d…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:50 PM
1

Sure, but you're not speaking to the unique pressures in the black community. My explanation, speaking as a black man, is that women who have to contend with the whims (understatement) of living in a racist system would be even more inclined to require superhuman fitness in their men. But historically and still today, many black men have had that fitness blunted by outside forces. I've yet to see Kevin or any other brother in the space go here, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:25 AM
12

K. Samuels (and Fresh and Fit etc) play to male indignation for RP men stuck in the anger phase. At some point, though, you'll just have to learn to change her mood not her mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 12:03 AM
1

The story of you and her, and how you met matters. And a drunken makeout at a bar that ended with an embarrassing upchuck is not exactly an alluring story she can tell herself or her girlfriends.
/r/seduction04/07/21 11:21 PM
3

Odd, I don't recall anyone in 10 Things I Hate About You extolling the virtues of dad bods.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:28 PM
1

Men want clarity on what kind of interaction and dynamic they're in with a woman. Not only that, they want to know what "kind" of woman they're dealing with. OF subverts both of these ideas. I never got the fuss over strip clubs, but if I go to one, at least I know deep down the young lady on my lap probably isn't interested in my novel, even if she's nodding and smiling (and more) anyway. This is the dance. If it's transactional, it's transactional. But if it's more authentic, it damn well bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 04:33 PM
4

Why would the mythical "Chad" be on PPD Reddit en masse lol? And what exactly do you want to know? My view is that there are levels to this. Most guys don't really experience abundance at all and can't even fully imagine it -- including its downsides. A few men experience it to a certain extent, up to a certain caliber of woman. And even fewer experience it across the board. Maybe I can speak to the middle experience. But I think one big thing for true naturals (of which I'm def not lol) is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/21 09:08 PM
3

More to come, chief.
/r/seduction19/05/21 02:10 AM
3

Wish I didn't delete my old post about abundance on my old account. Anyway, sounds like this is mostly a post about getting older. Way I see it, if you're a dude who continues to grow and grind, and keeps up his health and fitness, 30 is when you're just hitting your prime. In my early 30s, I'm getting love from 21 to 40 right now. No way I had that mass appeal as some 21 year old dude. Or even at 25. You're subscribing to some conventional narratives that I don't see bearing out irl with compel…
/r/seduction18/05/21 09:34 PM
14

Frame - A strong worldview and sense of reality that doesn't just bend on a whim or because you're attracted to someone. But how could a 19 year old have frame? He hasn't experienced anything. Confidence - Confidence comes from competence which comes from, you guessed it, experience. To be sure, women still surprise me. But you've seen a lot, and know how to deal with a variety of situations. Emotional Range - A lot of guys only know how to appeal to women by being "genuine" and "logical." They …
/r/seduction15/05/21 04:57 PM
4

There was one moment when I was speaking to 6 women at the same time. It was overwhelming. I didn't know who was who anymore. I empathized more with why women ghost and I accepted ghosting as part of the process. Bingo. The more experience you gain, the more you gain empathy and insight to the downsides of the abundance that women have. Before, I used to totally romanticize this part of it.
/r/seduction15/05/21 04:13 AM
36

Things really started turning the corner for me at 27. Now in my early 30s, it's smooth sailing. Many of the qualities women appreciate in men take YEARS to cultivate so my advice to younger guys would be to stay on your purpose and bide your time.
/r/seduction14/05/21 07:05 PM
32

The "science" is that investment and emotions matter. You can be direct if her investment is there and she feels emotions towards you. But if there's no buy in, you'd be wrong to bite off more social capital than you actually have. For instance, you could probably randomly tell your GF "hey let's hang out tonight." But you prob couldn't (reliably) open with "hey let's hang out tonight" as your opening line on a dating app. How do you know if there's buy in? In text, she's writing a lot more, she…
/r/seduction12/05/21 09:25 PM
3

K. Samuels plays to male indignation. It's cathartic for some men to see women getting "chewed out" and "called out" on a regular basis. Won't move the needle on anything, however, and at some point you'll just need to learn to change her mood not her mind.
/r/seduction12/05/21 03:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter