Often at a bar, you see a guy on a first date yapping away and not letting his date get in a word edgewise. While this is definitely a thing, there's the other extreme -- not talking about yourself enough. This tends to happen in the early stages, like a cold approach or early Online Dating/texting exchange. A guy opens with a question. The girl responds. Then the guy asks another question of her. She responds. He asks a third and then the girl goes silent. What happened? I thought women like to talk about themselves?! I thought being curious about her is a good thing?! Well, sure. But also, the girl doesn't know a darn thing about the guy. He was having what I like to call a "her-focused conversation" and good luck trying to get to "you" + "her" nevermind "we" if you're just stuck on her.

Problem is, the guy didn't build off a single one of her questions and relate it to his OWN LIFE. He hasn't imposed his personality, shared his worldview/opinions, told a story, playfully challenged her and so on. In my experience, women are much more likely to start sharing stuff about their life when you take the lead and start sharing stuff about your own life FIRST. In my experience in these early stages, a woman is more likely to share how her week is going when you first share something about yours.

Guys just need to get more comfortable talking about themselves. Contrary to popular opinion, this is what often creates the environment for women to 1. Get better sense of who you are, become intrigued by you, and become swept up in your world. and 2. Feel like they know you enough and trust you enough to share substantive things about their own life. It's the difference between a "how's your week?" being answered with a generic and short answer same as you might give to your grocer and an actual real substantive answer she actually put some thought and emotional investment behind.

The most disappointing thing about guys stuck in her-focused conversations is that men conclude that women aren't "giving them anything" and that they shouldn't be forced to "carry a conversation." OK, so stop trying to carry conversations. Don't be afraid to make statements and leave space to see how she dances with what you said. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself, in attractive way.