~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 15 | Blessed 4chan explains modern dating for the normiesIn many cases the men and boys who think and say these things aren't necessarily talking about personal experience of being accused of a crime outright but the attitudes they have pressed upon them by... well, "feminists", for lack of a better term (as well as peers in general, to a lesser extent). This is particularly relevant in cases where the man/boy has no prior relationship/sexual experience and does not feel able to achieve any, they may also be victims of bullying and abuse, such that th… | /r/MensRights | 23/04/24 01:52 PM |
| 1 | As young men become more disengaged with political and social issues, its not the relationship between men and women we should be worried about.But if you have 50% of the population who are women plus some non-zero amount of men (quite a considerable percentage, I'm sure) who are either happy with the status quo or think things should become more feminist then... well, I don't think you have to be a mathematical genius to work out that it's not going to go well for you at the voting booth. | /r/MensRights | 09/04/24 07:32 PM |
| 3 | As young men become more disengaged with political and social issues, its not the relationship between men and women we should be worried about.I've never yet participated in a vote where it's gone the way I've wanted it to. But, even if it had, there are no parties (of significant substance or chance of getting anywhere near power) who support men's rights. A few specific politicians who might mention it from time to time, perhaps, but who will no doubt be ignored or, worse, laughed at. Left, right, up, down, red, blue, yellow, green, doesn't matter. Even the conservatives here don't give a shit. They're the ones who decided all victim… | /r/MensRights | 09/04/24 07:26 PM |
| 12 | As young men become more disengaged with political and social issues, its not the relationship between men and women we should be worried about.I've been in countless discussions around this stuff and I can't even get a blip of a positive response even by saying "look, if you fix this, you'll fix stuff for women too, because happier, healthier men means a happier, healthier society, with less crime and violence". They're often so deep into it they'll just lash out at that point and either tell men to fix it themselves because women don't owe men anything or they'll accuse you of threatening violence. Then I'll patiently explain, yet aga… | /r/MensRights | 09/04/24 07:13 PM |
| 3 | What is wrong with the term "toxic masculinity"?I'm not really sure what positive masculinity would even be, given that feminists have decided that positive traits aren't gendered (because they can have them too and to call them masculine would be sexist against go-getter independent women). They've basically subsumed all positive masculine traits and tried to leave us with (or, more accurately, blame us for - even when women exhibit them) the shitty ones. Even when we're not being blamed, we're not being praised either, because it's just exp… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/04/24 06:52 PM |
| 3 | What is wrong with the term "toxic masculinity"?It wouldn't be so bad if the people who use it 99% of the time acknowledge positive masculinity or toxic femininity. ...and didn't mix it in with other very clearly male-negative thoughts, opinions, attitudes, and rules, making it plainly obvious that they weren't merely using it as a term for specific behaviours that psychology might consider negative (purportedly in an attempt to "help" the man by pointing out how he is harmed by his and his gender's own behaviours) but in fact were using it a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/04/24 06:49 PM |
| 1 | What are some safe spaces for men on the internet?Why must it even be considered "radicalised" or "aggressiveness"? If anybody actually saw the human being it'd be called suffering from abuse and normal, healthy, obviously provoked anger. It's not some religious or political terrorism, it's being driven to the point of having nothing left to do but act in self-defense, it's self-preservation, it's using whatever is left in the bottom of the barrel to make something happen to change the situation they're in. Any human would do that. When they do… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/24 07:46 PM |
| 6 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.I don't even agree that women hold more social power than men Then, with respect, you're not ready for this discussion, because you've completely failed to process the male perspective and why we might hold it. | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 09:20 AM |
| 4 | Men aren't allowed to prioritise themselves at any point in their livesWhy wouldn't I care? I don't want the entire western world run by a man who actively doesn't care about anything but himself or his own benefits. Admittedly, it's wishful thinking to believe that any potential president wouldn't be that, but he's a particularly heinous and shameless example. | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 09:18 AM |
| 3 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.especially in recent years as MGTOW and PUA subs have been banned and their followers flocked here Those men clearly needed help and support too, but they never got it, which led them to where they eventually ended up. That's symptomatic of the very same things we might discuss here and consider ourself righteous for doing so. | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 08:59 AM |
| 8 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.Why is it that you (women, feminists) always completely fail to see the broader context? It doesn't matter if 2X is a feminist sub, it's a symbol of the power imbalance, it's demonstrative of the benefits women get from society's tacit approval of their (your) gender and its behaviour in the current cultural context. Say whatever you like, do whatever you like, you'll get promoted to the top, right? Because it's women's time, men have had too much focus, women need to take back the world and sto… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 08:39 AM |
| 5 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.Understood. But regardless of who you think has more social power outside this sub, within this sub, it's definitely you. It's definitely not the female feminist who is being downvoted into oblivion as she suspected she would be. Who ultimately has more power, the kid in his treehouse saying that little Jimmy isn't allowed in because he's dumb and annoying, or his parents who can demand he get out of that treehouse immediately or let the other kid in? How much does his opinion matter, at the end… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 08:31 AM |
| 5 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.But - just as with the frequent (mis/ab)use of terms like "toxic masculinity", which men repeatedly report they feel is offensive and sexist - the more you try to push that boundary, the more you ignore that men find your messaging and communication styles arrogant, patronising, and indicative of institutional bigotry, the more you deserve that pushback. In short, you're not listening. You need to listen, just the same as has been demanded of us, re: women's issues. If we, as men, question anyth… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 08:10 AM |
| 9 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.Well, r/feminism has less members than you guys do. TwoXChromosomes has 13,665,389 readers, 1,064 users here now, and is a default sub. All I'm saying is that sociopolitical discussions shouldn't be initiated if we're not prepared for some pushback. I agree. But you're going to have to tell women that, because we can't have the discussion on our own, as a minority of men, when nobody else is listening. Countless times I've expressed online how women, or society in general, could contribute to be… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 08:01 AM |
| 6 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.That said, I have already received some strange rhetoric, another commenter telling me that I'm not welcome here, and you can't see what people may choose to post me personally because they saw this post here. That's what happens when you force a group of disadvantaged people into a corner and ban their opinions and experiences from being spoken about in polite society. They become pressurised, suspicious, angry, they know that they're constantly moments away from being attacked by those with mo… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 07:53 AM |
| 7 | Observations on this sub and an invitation to further discussion from a visitor.I ... really don't care if that's what happens? You might not, but we do. Why? Because it's indicative of exactly how slanted the discussion and cultural landscape is. | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 07:36 AM |
| 9 | Men aren't allowed to prioritise themselves at any point in their livesDonald trump Really? As if there aren't millions and millions of people who think he's the absolute scum of the earth lazy, self-aggrandising, bigoted, abusive, immature, exploitative bastard on the planet? | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 07:23 AM |
| 9 | Men aren't allowed to prioritise themselves at any point in their livesHe did the thing you complained about women doing and he's worshipped Most people don't know (or care) about his personal life. Anybody who's actually followed computing history and knows more of the behind the scenes of how those key figures behaved does know them them be egotistical, selfish, toxic, abusive, manipulative, law-skirting, wealth-protected assholes of the highest order. The cult of the iMac/iPod/iPhone didn't kick in until long after that period of his life and any young people wh… | /r/MensRights | 05/04/24 07:18 AM |
| 3 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastBut we don't know we like you yet. How could we possibly know? Isn't that what women keep saying, that men judge women on looks alone and that's shallow and insulting? Then those of us who don't do that, who feel we need a connection first, who want to get to know you as a person (and who will treat you with friendliness and respect in the meantime, whilst we're figuring out what we want "us" to be)... You know what? What's the point. If you haven't understood it by now, you never will. There is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/24 04:08 AM |
| 0 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”I have never “pissed bile” at a man for simply striking up a convo. But you can't reasonably claim that no woman ever has. We all know some women will treat some (innocent) men (who didn't deserve to be mistreated or humiliated) like dogshit. That's what concerns men who are not used to being treated well. That they will be presumed to be, and treated like, assholes. Happens here all the time, only reinforcing that concern! That's very rarely acknowledged though. Certainly not in the context of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 07:21 PM |
| 6 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastYou seem to have missed the point by at least a couple of timezones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 07:18 PM |
| 2 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”The thing is, just as you don't know whether a woman will be upset by your approach because she's going through some shit, some violent ex-boyfriend, or a parent died, or whatever, nobody knows what damage a humiliating or dramatic scene might do to that man either. It's easy to write it off as not being a big deal, to tell him "yeah, it happens, whatever, get over it", but men who are suffering that expectation of poor treatment aren't typically in the best of mental health. So, from where I'm … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 07:15 PM |
| -3 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”Both men and women can be victims of false or misinterpreted rumors and I'd still wonder how many people actually experience it. Yes, but you'd have to do (or be accused of) something incredibly fucked up to be taken seriously as a female perpetrator having done something seriously damaging to a man. The range of things men are allowed to be legitimate victims of is far smaller and the consequences considered far less harmful than if they're done to a woman. You'd practically have to kill the gu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 07:09 PM |
| 4 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastBecause they don't walk around waggling a double-ended dildo with "LESBIAN" stamped across their foreheads? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:56 PM |
| -8 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”False accusations are only a part of the picture. Certainly in a legal context. Actually being reported to the police with a false claim is, I agree, probably not that common, in the scheme of things. But it is still a risk. More importantly, though, there are lesser claims and behaviours which could still have negative impacts on a man's mental health, reputation, or career. It need not involve the police, it may not necessarily involve an outright lie, all it needs to be is a rumour or a sugge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”No you’re making assumptions. So are you. Perhaps not as an individual and, if you have a partner, fine, whatever, the guy should respect that - but he doesn't know it before you tell him, so there's no reason to start pissing bile on him just for asking. But as women you absolutely do make judgement calls sometimes that were not informed, justified, correct, or fair. You might assume the guy's a creep just because he's a bit nervous, you might accuse him of having sexist intentions simply for f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:47 PM |
| 3 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”I'm not the person being asked the question, but: If you're not used to being treated positively, you expect to be treated negatively, having been given no reason to believe otherwise... because to believe otherwise would be delusional and put you at risk of getting into trouble, socially. So, when the culture you exist in has been screaming for a decade plus about how it's wrong to approach/hit on/express physical interest in a woman and that doing so without regard for the woman is men's defau… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:36 PM |
| -1 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”I have seen and been in the scenario where a dude will just not take no for an answer and is being a total creep. You have seen situations where you perceive that to be what's happening. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But to a man who has rarely experienced being accepted socially/romantically/sexually that's a risk he expects to be significant. Not because he's done something wrong, or wants to do something wrong, but because he's never given the benefit of the doubt and is presumed before he eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:19 PM |
| 8 | Girls always shame you for approaching or “hitting on” multiple women, sharing screenshots of their dms trying to humiliate you but men are FORCED to cast a wide net due to the fact that most women are taken or “uninterested.”Both sides have their reasons to do what they're doing and both sides will be angry with each other at times. Except women can invoke quasi-legal arguments as to why men shouldn't approach women, men can't do the same in return. At best a man could accuse a woman of being a prude or of leading him on, but there's nobody on the planet who'd legitimately consider either of those to be a crime, or a risk/threat to him, in any way whatsoever. There is a clear power imbalance. I was in a situation li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 06:13 PM |
| 6 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastThere are two women sitting at a bar. One of them is an ideological and politically active feminist who happens to be a lesbian and is so full of trauma you could write an entire TV show about her and the other, her friend, is a happy-go-lucky single straight woman who has no strong sociopolitical motivations and might be interested. Which one is which? (No, the lesbian feminist does not have blue hair and piercings.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 05:20 PM |
| 3 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastA rapist could use your justification that he was “being a man, breaking the rules, showing how manly he is”. Yes, he could. That's my point. So why do you (women, especially feminists) arrange the rules such that they must be broken in order for relationships and sex to happen? If you set impossible rules like "don't objectify women" (which essentially means "don't admit you find women physically attractive", in practice, because no woman could ever know what the man is thinking and wouldn't be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 05:12 PM |
| 7 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastWomen want guys who will jump their bones That's not the message they've been sending in the public discourse. The message they've been sending is "stop treating us like we're attractive members of the opposite sex, you fucked up straight men, we're not sexy women, we're not interested in you, we're busy doing independent woman shit and we don't want your horny asses bothering us with your primitive instincts". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 05:03 PM |
| 2 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastthat natural autopilot still worked for me when I was truly attracted. Difference is that you'd have to pull some seriously heinous shit and somehow somebody would have to witness it in order to be branded "problematic" or, worse, as a sex criminal. Men don't have the luxury of just being able to assume that whatever they want is cool. We've been told that very very loudly for quite some time. Except now we're trying to tell you that we've listened, suddenly the message is "you're such weaksauce… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:59 PM |
| 1 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastInstructions unclear, sent a picture of currywurst, now she thinks I want rough anal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:54 PM |
| 2 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastSeems like it would be the logical outcome of demanding that men make their own rules (because yours make no sense) and expecting them to be sexually aggressive without explicit permission to do so. That's exactly what those "dick pic" men seem to be doing - exactly what you're telling men to do: "be a man", break the rules, show how manly you are and don't fall for our shit tests. You don't want "weak" men? Well, congratulations, mission accomplished, now you've got the men who explicitly don't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastBecause you’re so afraid of making her uncomfortable is like something described as hiding the badness. Yes, how terrible, actually caring about what she wants and how to not make her uncomfortable. What a bastard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastHow that's not acknowledged/understood as a problem in this discussion I have no idea. Women seem to just blindly shout their preferences, their personal preferences, out into the world, as though they speak for all women, and in this era of feminism we're supposed to listen equally to and take on board what each of them say, as authorities on women's needs and concerns. But that's literally impossible. Because we can't simultaneously be Mr Grr Strongman sweeping her off her feet in some romance… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:33 PM |
| 4 | Seems you're just as likely to lose a lady for taking things slowly than you are for moving too fastBecause he's trying to be successful with women. Yeah, trying to figure out appropriate behaviour and treat women in ways they find to be attractive and inoffensive, rather than expecting her to immediately bow to his needs and to hell what she thinks? How dare he? The obvious (and overused) response to that, of course, is "every woman is different". Which I would accept as an answer... if it weren't for the feminist diktats demanding full and unquestioning compliance from men, with no mistakes … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:24 PM |
| 6 | Do men blame women for their problems?If you actually listen to incels, when they're in a situation where they can openly and sensibly discuss their issues, they don't blame women. Some of them may point out specific behaviours of women and feminist society which make it harder, but most often they hate themselves, not women. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/04/24 05:55 AM |
| 3 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?Statistically most men, the absolutely overwhelming majority, are going to end up dating or marrying someone at some point. Yes, but statistically many of us face a very high likelihood of not finding that. Which is highly distressing. In particular, as has been discussed recently, the ~20-30% of incels who are on the autism spectrum. You'd surely have to imagine that men who come here to talk about their difficulties must be outliers, right? So the general advice of "eh, you're just normal, it'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 05:48 AM |
| 1 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?But you still haven't actually answered the question. What would you say to the women who pre-emptively tell us that we should not approach or raise the subject because women are just people trying to get things done and aren't there for men to hit on? Because there's no way for a sensitive man to reconcile "just try" with "if you ever come near us we'll scream harassment and treat you like you deserve that reputation". In that "just try" is immediately at odds with the claim that women are sick… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 05:14 AM |
| 1 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?That wasn't really what I asked. What I asked was what you'd say to women who disagree with you and make a point of telling us that if we should try your approach then we have overstepped the mark and should therefore be considered objectifying, abusive, predatory, and subsequently punished/struck off the dating market (or worse). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 04:57 AM |
| 11 | Very stark evidence of how severe the male su*cide epidemic isHey, remember who else said things like that? Homophobes. Homophobes with religious, cultural, institutional, and political power. "Don't worry lads, we'll just fix you so you're not disgusting deviants threatening the fabric of society with your sick insideous perversion any more. What you think you need to be happy is merely a psychological fault. But, actually, your sexuality is broken. No matter, we'll just fill you full of poisons and fuck with your brain so much that you won't be able to s… | /r/MensRights | 03/04/24 03:43 AM |
| 9 | Very stark evidence of how severe the male su*cide epidemic isI was wondering if it was too much testosterone To the best of my (admittedly limited) understanding, men are said to have less testosterone now than ever before. Which, if that's accurate, could actually suggest that testosterone is highly important for healthy development and function as an adult, not detrimental. I'm highly unqualified to speak on this, however, so you may want to do your own research. But the general point is that, unless testosterone levels have risen in the past 10-15 year… | /r/MensRights | 03/04/24 03:36 AM |
| 5 | Very stark evidence of how severe the male su*cide epidemic isDo you think it’s something to do with men not being able to control their testosterone or feeling like they can’t discuss their emotions and problems because they are told that talking about their emotions is considered weak? Given that men were subjected to the same social pressures pre-2007... no. How do you think that would fit the graph? Do you think gender roles for men were somehow magically not-toxic in 1972 or 1984 or 2000? If what you're suggesting were true, those low points wouldn't … | /r/MensRights | 03/04/24 03:29 AM |
| 6 | Very stark evidence of how severe the male su*cide epidemic isIf I were to make intiutive guesses based on the shape of the graph: Young people - but especially men - got screwed by the financial crash in 2007, so the line starts going up as they were unable to be the strong providers that society still expects of them. This was mitigated somewhat in the COVID years, where very few people were able to earn as they normally would have and there may have been financial aid to ease the difficulty of living with low/no income during that period, and there was … | /r/MensRights | 03/04/24 03:20 AM |
| 1 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?Only stupid people lack that self-awareness from my experience. That's literally how society shows its contempt towards people who aren't what they believe they are. They're called delusional, they're called "entitled", they're smacked back down to the place their peers believe they belong. We have phrases for that kind of person: "too big for your boots", "ideas beyond your station", "not staying in your lane". People do not like it when they think you expect more than you deserve. If you're se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:42 AM |
| 1 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?So what would be your response to women who say even once is too much, never mind repeatedly ignoring their rejections and therefore (certainly by any modern standards, but likely historical ones too) harassing them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:35 AM |
| 3 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?There is some painful reflection that comes after swiping right on like ten thousand women and getting little or no matches. But this is exactly why it hurts and why it's a very real feeling that people read as rejection. It might not be "rejection" in the typical sense, the old meaning of the word, but what you need when you're trying is some sense of hope and progress. Not getting that, especially when it seems like thousands of women all agree that you suck, is the opposite of that. No matter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:29 AM |
| 2 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?Of course, I wasn't born perfect with women. I was the baby of a bunch of brothers who would bring girls around the house, they would buy me food, braid my hair, etc. Then I got to be 12-13 and was awkward with girls I liked. Then 14-15 me and my brother would just go to the mall and talk to as many girls as we could. Then on the last days of school me and my friends would just go to school with sharpies and have competitions on who could get the most numbers written on our arms. We just got rea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:22 AM |
| 2 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?of course it is easier for different people This invalidates the entire argument. It acknowledges, rightly, that effort and results are not necessarily coherent or deterministic. Most of the men here who are struggling are clearly already in positions, and have experienced challenges (of which there could be many), are those people for whom it isn't easy and which life has thrown them so many curveballs they've turned into pretzels trying to catch them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:16 AM |
| 14 | Men who are concerned with lack of women in their life, have you even tried maximizing your chances?People who are concerned with drowning, have you even tried breathing? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:14 AM |
| 3 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?Well, of course, we wouldn't want anybody gaining important insight into why and how autistic people feel and behave the ways they do, would we? You know, the reason an autistic OP would even ask a question like this in the first place? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 02:00 AM |
| 2 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?But the fact is that's sometimes just how it is. Those people do exist and sometimes that's who you're dealing with, even as a kid in school who didn't ask for any of it. Is it a potentially extreme, maybe uncommon situation? Yeah. Perhaps. But that's no consolation to the kid who's stuck with it and who has no way out but to just take the lumps and hope nothing bad happens. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/24 01:45 AM |
| 3 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?I'm not necessarily talking inner city crime lord mow-you-down-in-a-hail-of-lead gangs, who'll turn you into red paste for stepping into the wrong part of town, but there are shades of grey there. Gangs can be small time or even just a bunch of kids and still be a problem if you screw with one of their family/friends/associates. There's more of them than there are of you, so you're going to be at a disadvantage, and they quite often have older kids/brothers/whatever who you'd stand even less cha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 06:19 PM |
| 5 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?But he may well have been seriously trying, doing all the things he thought were right and good and putting himself out for the sake of the women he was with. That might very well make you think that people were taking advantage of the effort you were trying to put in, if they dump you all the time even though you think you're being super nice. Sure, maybe the women didn't think so, maybe his behaviour was actually problematic, but people have a habit of completely failing to consider that the m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 06:10 PM |
| 6 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?There's a difference between "being an asshole" (ie: behaving like an asshole because you can get away with it and it gets you what you want) and "being an asshole" (ie: being perceived as an asshole, or a creep, or a predator, or whatever, simply because you don't communicate the way people expect you should). I won't pretend that autistic people can't come across as being rude or aggressive or unhinged (and some genuinely are, because people are people, autistic or not), but not necessarily be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 06:00 PM |
| 6 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?Sure, but if you're the class nerd with basically no fighting skills and no backup and you're trying to teach the guy with a gang of violent drug dealing mates or brothers or whatever a lesson, that's not ending well for you. They don't take kindly to being humiliated or beaten and they've got a lot more experience/contacts/capacity for violence than you do, they've got a reputation to keep, and they give a whole lot less of a shit about the threat of jail. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 05:43 PM |
| 4 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?Right, but you can't really divorce the presence of autism from the likelihood of poor mental health and life outcomes. Even if you are optimistic, determined, adventurous, and all the rest, there's still a very strong chance it'll stomp you into the mud. Not guaranteed by any means, but if it weren't a problem then it wouldn't be a disability. Statistically speaking, the outlook is absolutely dire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 03:25 PM |
| 6 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?autism doesn't affect ones HEART or SPIRIT Autism doesn't, no, but having to live with it in a world that would rather beat you down for being different than help or celebrate what you can bring to it certainly can. Being bullied and abused, particularly when younger, can turn what might've been a healthy, happy life into a burning nuclear train wreck. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 03:09 PM |
| 5 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?My immediate reaction to that, on reading your comment, was "oh, how I wish I'd been that oblivious, so I wouldn't have known I was being bullied"... ...but taking a more analytical approach to thinking that through, I'm not so sure that necessarily helps. One of the hallmarks of the autistic experience, even if you're not (or don't know you're being) actively bullied, is a general sense of alienation. Which I'm sure you'd probably still feel even if you weren't actively being abused, because it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 03:07 PM |
| 8 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?I wouldn't say total bullshit, although you do have a point. There was a discussion in another sub about this point recently, where people were commenting on an article which suggested that bullies do ultimately succeed, often above and beyond their victims. The distinction, which I'd agree with, was made in those comments that it depends what kind of bully they are. On the one hand, you've got your middle class bullies, the "I don't need to concern myself with you, you're below me, stop breathi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 02:59 PM |
| 10 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?Those are basically your two options. It's often noted that those who are bullied do often turn into bullies themselves (although they still have weaknesses, insecurities, deficiencies, they just attempt to dominate so that nobody can exploit them), but those who don't become bullies may very well become, as you say, timid, avoidant, non-confrontational. I would be part of the latter group. Despite my experiences I have no desire to dominate or bully, I know what that feels like, why on earth wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 02:47 PM |
| 6 | Weren't all the bullying that autistic guys went to cause and become assholes, which women would find attractive?As it happens I was just watching a thing recently, an interview with William Costello who researches inceldom as a PhD student and has been involved in studies and stuff. He mentioned the stat that previous surveys had come up with, that something like 18% of people active in the incel community self-report as being diagnosed autistic, but he also mentions that in some research he's been involved with which used NHS diagnostic criteria, around 30% would've qualified for a diagnosis (so that wou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/24 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Shakira brands Barbie movie 'emasculating' and says her sons 'hated it'it's been weird reading people talking about the message they got from the barbie movie. Some say it's a feminist movie, some say it's actually Ken's story, some say it's misogynistic and insulting to women, it's anti corporate, it's about toxic femininity or masculinity or both...it's like whatever message you go in looking for, you'll find it. So it's the movie equivalent of commercial nu-metal designed in such a way that anybody can take from it whatever they want and have it mean something t… | /r/MensRights | 01/04/24 08:35 PM |
| 43 | Shakira brands Barbie movie 'emasculating' and says her sons 'hated it'Why on earth would anybody look at a Barbie movie and not think "that is a movie for young girls"? It's Barbie. You wouldn't take your boys to an Action Man/GI Joe movie and expect it to be a multi-layered commentary on the horrors of war, would you? That would be something else, like Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan or whatever, something not clearly attached to a toy brand. | /r/MensRights | 01/04/24 08:33 PM |
| 10 | Who do so many men follow the ideology that leads to loneliness and suffering?Ok, that’s not how relationships actually work It's not how they should work. But if you're the one who has to do all the work to make them happen or else spend your life feeling like a lonely failure, especially in a world where institutions pedestalise the opposite gender like they're trying to touch the moon, you'd have a different view. How do you think it feels to be a man who has to beg and bow and grind and pay to get even a sniff of a chance? Do you think that feels equal? Do you think t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:27 PM |
| 11 | Who do so many men follow the ideology that leads to loneliness and suffering?Well arguably it does work for the majority, since the majority of people are in relationships I don't think you can make that claim with any certainty. Who can say how those relationships happened? The man almost certainly, statistically, had to make moves at some point, and neither you nor I could say without observing every single one of them what was going through his mind at the time. Besides, don't women here constantly talk about how dudes turn out to be uncaring and abusive when they sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:13 PM |
| 6 | Who do so many men follow the ideology that leads to loneliness and suffering?the conventional wisdom of the dominant mainstream ideology on the subject of gender relations: feminism. Which is an ideology, one actually practised by the mainstream and its institutions, to the measureable detriment of men. But apparently that's OK, feminism is allowed to loudly point out the difficulties women have, it even openly allows them to speak violently towards men and sometimes even outright praises women for doing so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 06:33 PM |
| 4 | Who do so many men follow the ideology that leads to loneliness and suffering?Seems to me, as somebody who isn't RP and often disagrees with some here who are, that it's just a collated collection of facts, thoughts, and ideas that the mainstream already had but that, for outliers who struggled, hit home in a way which causes them to speak more loudly and more frequently about them. There's nothing new about "leagues" or "being attractive gets the girls" or "being rich gets the girls" or whatever. Normal people already acknowledged those things. Not necessarily to such a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 06:15 PM |
| 3 | Who do so many men follow the ideology that leads to loneliness and suffering?High school does not represent a real dating pool No, perhaps it doesn't, but I know from my own experience that you know damn well if you've already been decided to be the weird outcast whose life is going to go nowhere, you can feel it crushing the life out of you as you're neglected, bullied, and abused throughout teenagehood. You see others running away ahead of you, hitting milestones you can only dream of but, not only that (because people mature at different rates and that's OK), you know… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagI said what I said because you said you feel you're dealing with a child. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 09:34 AM |
| 3 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagWell, appreciate the acknowledgement anyhow. I don't know that there's anything more I could say than that, just as I know there's nothing much you could've said than what you did. But, for the sake of discussion, there it is. Preferable to "get over it, loser" anyway, so... thanks for that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 07:47 AM |
| 6 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagMy experience (although I don't doubt you're right that some might conclude it's not worth trying) is that it's just extremely costly to keep trying. Even if you want to, you have to keep trying to find places, people, situations where that's an option. You have to be able to afford the time, energy/mental health, and money to keep doing that. It costs more than just embarassment or cringe (but even those can negatively impact how soon/how likely you are to try again - every mistake is a potenti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 07:33 AM |
| 4 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagBut yours is not statistically relevant. It's well understood (although the numbers are constantly being updated and refined) that autistic people, especially autistic men, are fucked on so many levels, and relationships/sex are absolutely one of those areas. Yes, some autistic men are in relationships. Some even have children. But they're an extreme minority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 04:28 AM |
| 6 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagPerson does a thing. Person who is socially accepted and found to be attractive is rewarded with positive responses, relationships, sex. Person who isn't socially accepted and not found to be attractive is punished with negative responses, social negligence, bullying, exclusion. The risk is required to be taken by the man, but what is and isn't acceptable and in which contexts is less clear now than ever before, with greater threats of social remedial or legal action as punishment for getting it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 04:19 AM |
| 4 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagNot getting dates does not show your inherit or total human value. Lots of shitty people date and have multiple partners, it does not make them better than you overall. They're better at getting dates, but it isn't the same as being better human beings. It may not be a direct expression of human value but the punishments and rewards and opportunities you're likely to receive (or not) as a person with those traits much more closely resemble those of a genuinely terrible person than somebody who p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 04:05 AM |
| 5 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagthe rise of technology has made autistic men marriage material, which has served to pass along more autistic genes. If that's referring to the 20th century then... perhaps. I don't know that I could think about it deeply enough right now to formulate a solid argument for or against. That would be a lot to think about. If the 21st century, though, I would very much disagree. Seems to me we're a lot more superficial and standoffish as a general western culture than we were 20 years ago and trendin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 03:36 AM |
| 12 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagI don't think that creating this dichotomy helps though. It's not supposed to be a dichotomy, it's supposed to be context, because nobody listens or understands, let alone helps. So the only way we can state it so that you can maybe see where we're coming from is to explain why we feel the way we do and how that colours our perspective of the world around us, how we see society from our perspective, to give some kind of insight to people who don't experience it. Sometimes that looks like making … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 03:09 AM |
| 17 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagYet you're doing untold damage to thousands of innocent male lives (often to men who don't have the capability or social capital to defend themselves) by perpetuating that sentiment, whilst men who actually are violent do whatever the fuck they want anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/24 02:35 AM |
| 8 | Lack of touch, my comment and the reactions to itAlthough I agree that feminism is riding on the same wave as those who campaign against racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc, it doesn't have the excuse of being "multicultural". It's men and women. We've lived together since the species existed and even before that, before we became humans. There is no excuse for suddenly deciding that men and women can no longer coexist, it's an anomaly, it's a broken way of thinking. It's not some collision of far distant cultures wrestling with how to mesh t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/24 11:49 PM |
| 5 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagAbsolutely. Most of your hobbies that are solitary don't 'count' for anything in terms of impressing a relationship partner. You should do them for you, not to build up a portfolio of stuff to impress a potential partner with. Well, sure. That's what I've done my entire life because I've had no option to do otherwise. But when those things aren't respected as passions or displays of dedication to a purpose, and they're primarily full of also socially inept men, what then? People say "just be you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:39 PM |
| 2 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagNeurodivergent burnout is scary and you really need to get help or at the very least some validation. As soon as possible. Yes, of course, that's massively important. It's just far easier said than done. We all know we need it (even if many here would claim we don't "need" anything), the problem is finding it, or somebody willing/capable enough to provide it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:35 PM |
| 10 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagYeah, absolutely. I don't think I was necessarily as hindered by the autism I was eventually diagnosed with in my mid-teens as I was the social response to the behaviour it drove in me. If I'd had any help to overcome or repair that damage, before it became my entire existence of life as an independent person, which I did not receive, I'm absolutely certain I would've been far easier to mould into a happy, functional adult long before I ever dragged myself in that direction on my own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:30 PM |
| 3 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagyou're making it sound like it's the 90s and being a geek is kryptonite to most women It absolutely can still be that, unless you manage to find a very specifically inclusive place where the women are equally nerdy (and there are enough of them for that to have an impact). People say that "geek is cool" now, but it isn't, not really. Some very specifically acceptable aspects of it are cool, like mainstream superhero movies or particular types of tabletop games, but if you start speaking about ho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:21 PM |
| 3 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagThe study I tend to quote as far as the % of autistic people with partners explicitly excluded low-functioning individuals so as not to skew the results, I assume many would do the same. It would probably be quite difficult to include the more strongly affected people anyway, as in many cases they would have a lower capacity to participate in such a study, unless it's in an environment where they're supported to do so, which would have to be quite targeted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:11 PM |
| 6 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagI think you may have misread my point. I'm not quite sure what you think I said, but what I meant was that the internet used to be a space where ND men could feel more at home because many of those who used it had similar mindsets regarding technology and social status within that context. It was not the same virtual copy of the real world (but with the volume turned way up) that it is now. If you were online in the 80s/90s (and somewhat early 2000s) then you probably had reason to be, intention… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:05 PM |
| 7 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagBut getting your flaws overlooked is very far from the sole factor which determines romantic success! It is a pretty damn important one though, especially when your flaws are basically all anybody bothers to see in you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 11:00 PM |
| 3 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagIts hard for neurotypical women because we want to be taken care of and be understood and when dating a divergente guy we feel we are dealing with a child doing ALL the hard work while out needs arent met. That's unreasonably judgemental. There's a vast range of levels of functioning even within autism, never mind OCD, ADHD, CPTSD, etc. Just because somebody is ND doesn't mean that they're incapable of independence or even supporting another person. But they often don't get to show that because … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:56 PM |
| 6 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagWell, possibly, yes. Which is better than nothing, for sure. But I guess what I meant is that even if that's a statistically accurate fact it doesn't necessarily play out that way in the real world. I mean, you could have a study where you get a bunch of autistic people in a room and then fill the other half of the room with either more autistic people or neurotypical people, and get some kind of understanding of how well they mix when introduced/asked to do tasks together/whatever else. But tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:44 PM |
| 11 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagThe problem with that - although I'll say up-front that I think it sounds a practical and enticing idea - is that you still need a space where that's going to work. A large part of the problem in many of these cases is lack of positive feedback. You need to know when you're doing the right things, you need people there to say "hey, looking good today, man" or "wanna go do some stuff?", just something, anything, that gives you some way of telling that you're going in the right direction. If you d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:36 PM |
| 5 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagBefore the Internet and clout dating, ya being ND was a minor inconvenience. However now with everyone social skills being absolute zero, no it's a death sentence. It's funny, you'd think ND men would be more at home on the internet, as for the past 50 years or so that's where many of us have gravitated to in order to find our tribe when the real world doesn't provide it. Unfortunately, in addition to the fact that those particular spaces tend to be very male-heavy, what "the internet" is now is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:28 PM |
| 16 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagND vs scumbags Because those of us who are ND and get zero (or only negative) attention know that we want to be better than those (proven, intentional, often repeat offender) assholes that women keep complaining about, yet we never seem to get a fair shot at proving ourselves better than that, we're judged as broken/dangerous before even the word "hello" is uttered, in far too many cases, whilst a blatantly problematic man can just waltz in and hook up any time he likes. Not only that, we're oft… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:13 PM |
| 4 | Everything you use is invented and built by men is a faulty argument. Stop using itWhat I'm saying is that the practical realities of these discussions neither acknowledge those things or permit men to use the same arguments in reverse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 10:04 PM |
| 35 | Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbagI guess one positive is that other people with autism where shown to understand and like each other better. That doesn't seem to be particularly helpful in terms of finding relationships, as there are far fewer diagnosed women and of those who are many seem to be able to get relationships with NT men just fine. Which gets to another part of the problem: the things that women like in men are not the things that men like in women, typically speaking, so it's likely to be far less a dealbreaker for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 09:57 PM |
| 15 | Everything you use is invented and built by men is a faulty argument. Stop using itReally? That's your response? That's the argument you've got? To do the thing I just explained was counterproductive and antagonistic? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 09:51 PM |
| 7 | Everything you use is invented and built by men is a faulty argument. Stop using itI'm perfectly happy to accept the fact that both men and women can be good and bad (or both, at variable ratios, even in any given individual), but we didn't set the rules for this debate, women did. If women decide that the rules say that they can freely generalise men as being a disgusting, destructive, abusive, dangerous class, with very very few select exceptions (namely their specific partner, who has somehow transcended base manhood and become some kind of god above "men"), then this is th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 09:38 PM |
| 35 | Everything you use is invented and built by men is a faulty argument. Stop using itDo you know why they use that argument? Because apparently it's OK to attribute to each individual man the fact that sexual assault and murder exist, or that 70 years ago we had different social standards regarding gender roles, or that men are uniquely considered irresponsible deadbeats representative of the laziness and fecklessness of men if they abandon a child yet women can choose to abort a pregnancy. Generalising is "good" when it's men getting the bad reputation, every negative thing a m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 09:23 PM |
| 7 | Why don't men protest more?Of course we didn't got any media coverage, when we protested. If you did get any media coverage, outside of maybe a niche men's health blog or something, it'd probably be "look at this group of nasty misogynistic incel-adjacent men trying to reclaim the patriarchy and put women down again". If feminists were to then counterprotest and start antagonising men, and that somehow gets out of hand, they'd still be considered the good guys, because their fight is righteous and ours is supposedly regre… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/03/24 07:54 PM |
| 0 | Why should women take advice from people who loathe them?Stop trying to be a victim. Oh yes, and you say that a lot too, because you can't stand the idea of anybody else having issues that might take the focus away from you and your resources. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 06:57 PM |
| 0 | Why should women take advice from people who loathe them?But you don't stop there, do you? That's the problem. If it were really just "don't call women used up sluts or hysterical morons because of their gender", that would be a lot more acceptable. But feminists don't stop there. They push and squeeze and reach and twist the narrative according to their whims, to include anything they have a mild disliking for (including men as an entire gender) or slight discomfort with (like men existing in the same public spaces as them). They start off with "we d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 05:43 PM |
| 0 | Why should women take advice from people who loathe them?No, it isn't, but neither is disagreeing/presenting an alternative viewpoint "putting someone down", or "degrading them". If that's what you always consider it to be, that's nothing more than justification to shut everything else out, claiming it to be violent and oppressive and you, therefore, morally and legally in the clear for not bearing any responsibility for that wilful ignorance. Which is modern feminism, and its lapdog called society, in a nutshell. Anything doesn't agree with your pers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 05:32 PM |
| 0 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketYou should probably try reading that again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 01:05 AM |
| 3 | What are you doing to address male inequality?She already posts in PPD, that's pretty much the same thing. | /r/MensRights | 27/03/24 12:30 AM |
| 2 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketWe don't Really? You all seem to have plenty to say about men here on this sub. Plenty of opposition to red pill men, plenty of aggro towards men you think are misogynists or right-wingers, plenty of reasons you think it's justified to treat men as a monolithic group of sex-obsessed women-objectifying lazy dirty lying cheating manipulating violent predatory bastards. I'd say that indicates thinking about men quite a lot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 12:27 AM |
| 3 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketIf dealing with women is so difficult why not use porn, onlyfans or hire a prostitute? How fucking insensitive do you have to be to prescribe that as a reasonable set of options? "Go and pay some women to pretend to like you for 30 minutes". The fuck do you think we are, idiots? Robots? Walking dildos with cash rolled up and stashed up the shaft? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 12:21 AM |
| 0 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketI live in the real world Quite clearly you do not. I'm not going to sit here playing rhetorical tennis with you, but if you think your view is the only one that matters then you've got a lot to learn before anybody should take you seriously on these matters. Women complain that men don't understand their struggles (despite clear evidence that you're being taken very seriously) yet you absolutely refuse to make any effort to understand ours. You have no ground to stand on. You're behaving in ways… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/24 12:03 AM |
| 3 | What are you doing to address male inequality?Absolutely, it's exactly that. See: boys failing in education as a 24k gold example of that very thing. Well, amongst others, of course, but that's one of the big obvious documented examples right now which has provably been going on for years and years. | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 11:53 PM |
| 3 | What are you doing to address male inequality?Oh, another one. Hi. Well, the first thing I do is not go to men's subs and shame troubled men into believing they don't deserve help because they're not able to meaningfully create that help for others. I'm sure the charity and government funding for feminist-aligned services, support channels, and advocacy were irrelevant. Or the men who were on your side during every stage of feminism. Or the fact that women can claim to be at risk and threatened by society and actually be taken seriously. Ho… | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 11:35 PM |
| -1 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketYou just can't see outside of your cosy little bubble, can you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 11:24 PM |
| -1 | Feminists try to shame men out of their advantages in the dating marketYes, it is a problem, because it has substantial cultural and institutional influence. It therefore has the power to negatively affect people who do not deserve to be - and are often already - negatively affected. Does not dating a misogynist make the problem of misogynists in society go away? No? Neither does not dating a misandrist or feminist make the problem of misandrists or feminists go away. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 10:24 PM |
| 19 | Inside the disturbing world of Femcels: British women reveal why they've joined dark online forums where they share fears about being alone forever.Bruh, it ain't racist to mention race. It wouldn't be, if it were accurate. Incels, as a self-identified group, are very varied. But it's fashionable to try and cram together these ideas of "white straight males with hard-right regressive attitudes who hate women and are probably violent". Even though that's not true. There's been research done (which I don't have to hand but I'm sure it can be found, if you're interested) which presents a much more diverse picture than that. Are there a lot of … | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 10:18 PM |
| 2 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.Who the hell do you think men are? Comedy villain caricatures of 18th century royalty? No appreciable amount of men are suggesting women shouldn't be able to vote or own property or... fucking... why do I even bother. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.That's a lot of words to say "doesn't matter, I wasn't wrong, you're wrong, you should become a feminist and be right, like me" and completely disregard any idea that non-feminist men might have a valid take on this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 09:15 PM |
| 3 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.What does "supporting the patriarchy" look like to you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 04:06 PM |
| 4 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.They don’t feminists have considered the ways in which patriarchy hurts men. Also you, just up the thread (in response to another commenter pointing out that the men who have any power to flex are part of an extreme minority): Who says you are at fault? The problems men have can also be a result of patriarchy so fight the patriarchy if you’re so mad about it So why, then, when men talk about being majority victims of homicide, suicide, and workplace deaths, do feminists say "yes but that's men d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 03:43 PM |
| 2 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.I don't see what relevance your comment has to the one it's written in response to. But let's say it does have relevance, who says men "support patriarchy"? We do the things we have to do in order to get by. Sometimes those things are hard, or unhealthy, or detrimental. You, as a woman, play a part in forming what those expectations and demands are. If women only want rich, powerful, brawny, popular men, that's what we have to strive to be. Otherwise we are nothing, because we don't get to be pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 03:33 PM |
| 4 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.Also patriarchy doesn’t mean all men have power over all women or that all men have any power period, it just means that those with power are mostly men and that women are specifically restricted on the basis of their sex. Which means what to disadvantaged men, exactly? Oppressed woman, disadvantaged man, it's all the same, we're all just slaves to those in power - which, I'll point out, also includes powerful women. Men who don’t have power under patriarchy do not lack power due to being male. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 03:18 PM |
| 2 | Men may have lesser options than women in the dating scene, but it is still a man’s world in all other areas.The point they're making is that it's an indictment of the (horrific lack of) "equality" in providing people of each gender the help they need. Men quite often hit a point of "there is literally zero point in me being alive, there's nothing more I can do to fix this, it's out of my hands, and I cannot tolerate this desolate life of failure and abuse any longer, never mind for the next 40 years". They see no help, no support, no options, no purpose, no future, no anything. Their experience of the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 02:52 PM |
| 3 | A study which shows female social media content providers sexualize their content far more than men also blames men.An online video game content streaming service. Typically used for live streaming of people playing video games so that other people can watch live and chat about it as it happens. Largely used by young men. It's now owned by Amazon, but was previously independent, and before it became Twitch (and exclusively used for video game content) it was Justin.tv, a general purpose live streaming website where people would just live stream webcams of themselves and stuff. Then they launched Twitch.tv for… | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 10:40 AM |
| 9 | A study which shows female social media content providers sexualize their content far more than men also blames men.I'm pretty tired of it. I don't often go to Twitch but I do tend to seek out content further afield than my default YouTube when I'm bored/lonely/depressed, because I find I run out of stuff/it doesn't scratch the social itch. In that mood I want live, I want discussion, I want people. So the last thing I want when I go to Twitch is a page full of thumbnails of half-dressed women who could pull every man in the county just by walking into a bar, clearly baiting teenagers and lonely 20/30-somethi… | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 02:56 AM |
| 18 | A study which shows female social media content providers sexualize their content far more than men also blames men.If we were talking about drugs, it'd be the evil drug peddlars getting people hooked who would be to blame. Except, unlike drugs, we're born inclined to seek sexual experiences. That doesn't usually exhibit in behaviour until puberty, or thereabouts, but our bodies literally become the thing they were born to be: a human being capable of, and interested in, acts of reproduction. A lot of people who deny this, or pass it off as something trivial you can just... forget that your body motivates you… | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 02:45 AM |
| 20 | I feel men suffer but aren't allowed to be weak, like they are the silverbacks of humanityYet forbidden from actually using the primate mechanisms of rectifying the situation. Not that I'm suggesting we should allow wanton raging violence, territorial murder, or non-consensual sex acts, but those would often be the male primate's mechanisms by which to regain the upper hand. They have no laws. They do what they need to do to get what they need to get. (Yes, some species are more or less socially-inclined, but that only changes the types of things they'll do and who they'll do it to i… | /r/MensRights | 26/03/24 02:33 AM |
| 5 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”Curious, isn't it, that "feminists" are categorically not against men, that can apparently be stated as fact with nothing to prove it (indeed, considerable counterevidence to prove they often are actively against men and men's interests). Yet "feminists" cannot be generalised when a large number of them seem to think a negative thing about men, a thing that would paint feminism as being anything less than a holy righteous cause for the progressive utopia we'd live in, if only we'd listen. A genu… | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:55 PM |
| 7 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”Investing in a man's potential and supporting him to earn the rewards instead of expecting the world on a plate the moment you meet him? Huh. What a novel idea. | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:49 PM |
| 3 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”Yeah, but unfortunately some of those at the top are the very same feminists who keep claiming that's impossible. They're not going to be in any hurry to give up their golden goose either. They've got every motivation to keep pushing this idea that women are forever doomed to a life of being brutalised second-class citizens. Which "lower class" feminists still benefit from, because they can latch onto that and say "yeah! what she said! where's my CEO job?!". | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:37 PM |
| 9 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”Oof. Like walking into a revolving door. | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:34 PM |
| 6 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”No-one really has had it "easy" for years in America Or the countries Americans came from, hundreds of years before that. It's a nonsense fairy tale to suggest that men have had this special privilege club with no responsibility, no reason to be stressed, no reason to work hard, and no problems worthy of mention. Most of us were just as fucked by our overlords, only difference was that back then it was the ruling classes and now it's corporations. Which women benefit from too, I might add, not j… | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:30 PM |
| 6 | You guys need to wake up and realize feminists are not “against men”You all repeat that it’s about “equality for men and women” but your actions show that feminists are only interested in their own perspective for what “equality” looks like, and their visions often feature policies that heavily favor women over men Which will eventually be, and clearly by some measure already is, problematic for them, because it'll result in backlash and social issues when those who are disadvantaged realise how tipped in feminism's favour society already is and has been for yea… | /r/MensRights | 25/03/24 09:13 PM |
| 3 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?Sure, but if you haven't had that job yet (and I suppose that's who we're talking about, given the topic and space we're in), all you've got is a foundation certificate in elementary relationshipping, cobbled together from fantasy fiction and relationships around you which may not be either healthy of open to full observation. Which, true, means that you probably need more nuance when being given advice, but even when men are clearly without a clue and starting from nothing, we still get these a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:41 PM |
| 10 | Are guys maturing faster than women in the US and that's a problem?Well, yeah. Because men have to do the asking. It's not nearly as likely to "just happen" if they don't make the moves to make it happen. That's why "just wait, work on yourself, and see what shows up" is dreadful advice that's only likely to keep unsuccessful men being unsuccessful. On the other hand, you also have "women hate men asking them out, or expressing their sexuality, so stop doing that", which also suppresses those men. So who are you left with? Popular, successful men who don't give… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:35 PM |
| 14 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?Transparency is not always a good thing, especially as a younger person, because it takes two responsible people to navigate these things respectfully. What happened to "honesty is the best policy", "don't sit around pining over a woman and then get upset when she went with a guy who actually had the spine to say something", and "men need to be more emotional"? See, this is the problem. People make these authoritative statements, but they're never clear or universally agreed upon. Yet they're sp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:08 PM |
| 6 | What does "insecure" even means?Contrary to popular belief on here it's not nice for men to feel they and other men have been reduced to a collection of parts. Wait, understanding and compassion from januaryphilosopher? It's a common scenario for women to be called insecure in the same scenario ans now the shoe is on the other foot. "But they deserve it because of all the women who ever felt bad about how men treated them." Ah. Never mind. Business as usual. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 11:17 AM |
| 2 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?That wasn't what I was talking about, but of course you wouldn't know that, because you don't give a flying fuck. No, instead you thought you'd try and clap back by invalidating the thing you thought it would be easiest to dismiss. Because, again, you can't fucking engage with the subject. If you could, you'd realise "those stupid posters" are very relevant to mention. All this is for you is some petty bullshit game of one-upmanship, because you can't live without that, can you? But hey, you wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 03:57 AM |
| 3 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?There is no solution for men’s constant complaints about their lack of female attention that doesn’t require women to compromise their freedom and autonomy. Yes there motherfucking is, and I've spoken about them many times. But it's so much fucking easier for you people to feign having bloodpissing shitcunting amnesia than engage with them. Your movement should burn to the ground. This is precisely why. Your endless poisonous bad faith antagonistic horseshit that you can only get away with becau… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 03:15 AM |
| 6 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?You want men to stop doing things you don't like? Fucking take it up with them. Because I've not done a single goddamn one of those things, but here you are, all the fucking time, painting me like a closet serial rapist. If you don't want to direct that ire where it should rightly go, and not at me, I suggest you find somewhere else to put it. In the meantime, stop trying to shove it up the ass of every man who dares open his mouth just because you can't stand not "winning" every fucking convers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 03:07 AM |
| 6 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?Oh no, men expressing emotional struggles over not having access to intimacy and their mental health suffering as a result? That means they intend to imprison and sexually abuse women, or have the government do it on their behalf! Lock them up! It's not wonder men don't listen to women saying "you just need to open up more", because look what happens when we do. Endless blaming, shaming, bad faith takes on what men mean when they do speak. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 02:22 AM |
| 7 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?That has nothing to do with the mainstream panic over women's safety. This sub and the discussions which happen here are niche, sideshow topics. You're just trying to pin the broader picture on men here because you don't like who you see and what you hear. That doesn't mean you have a valid claim to it being legitimately problematic or at fault for the wider view of gender relations though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 02:16 AM |
| 6 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?Care to elaborate? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 01:09 AM |
| 18 | How can we prove the empathy gap?Any discussion ever about boys and men behind behind in education, the majority of homicide and suicide victims, any mention of majority [gender] areas of employment, any attempt a man makes to express loneliness and a desire for a partner...? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/03/24 12:56 AM |
| 3 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?Men keep making this claim here in order to protect their egos. Oh, yeah, it couldn't possibly be the endless chorus of "men are sexual predators and murderers, we can't even go out after 3pm because we'll definitely die of femicide down a dark alley the moment a man exists within the same square mile as us", could it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 12:54 AM |
| 7 | How easy is it for you to find a romantic partner who doesn’t hold (what you would consider to be) a dogmatic or cultish ideology?The political climate became very hostile towards women in the past ten years. You mean the past ten years that's been more vehemently pro-feminism than any other time women keep referencing as the dark days of women not being allowed to breathe without the approval of a man? Quite possibly more feminist than any other time in relevant history? That past ten years? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 12:52 AM |
| 4 | Why so many decent single men are singleYeah, but again you're talking from a perspective of that kind of thing "just happening" to you, which it doesn't for some men, some of us have no choice but to try, to contrive some circumstance, to make special efforts, to make it clearer that we're actively looking for something. But, being inexperienced, that's difficult to modulate without appropriate feedback by which to fine tune it and get that right. You can't just "be good at it" without practice, something most get as teenagers and yo… | /r/MensRights | 24/03/24 04:17 PM |
| 12 | Why so many decent single men are singleThis creates two issues: this makes the barrier to entry for relationships/sex much higher for men, in that men have to develop of unnecessary or counter-intuitive skills to find and attract women, but it also creates this environment where the men with the least consideration for women win/thrive. This is especially true today, in an age where male heterosexuality or male attention is openly demonized, or where men can potentially be labelled as creeps or predators, which are potentially emotio… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 05:51 PM |
| 8 | Why so many decent single men are singleIf being decent is the bare minimum then why so many stories of horrible relationships with terrible people? Quite clearly decency is not a qualifying factor. If it were, those relationships wouldn't have happened. | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 05:49 PM |
| 2 | Why so many decent single men are singleYeah, it's expensive to get out there and do things, although the irony is that the easiest way to afford to live within your means is to have a dual income household, to share the rent/bills, buy food in better value quantities, be in a stronger position to get a mortgage instead of pissing away more than a mortgage costs just to keep hold of a rented shithole that you could get kicked out of at the landlord's whim. So you have to have the relationship in the first place. | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 05:45 PM |
| 8 | Why so many decent single men are singleYou have considerable privilege in being able to do that. You don't see yourself, nor present yourself, as being the inexperienced loser who doesn't know what to do and never gets any attention. It's a hell of a lot easier to do that if you're actually NOT an inexperienced loser who doesn't know what to do and never gets any attention. You could afford to say "I'm bored of this shit, it's stupid, I'm gonna do something else for a bit" because you'd had your fill. You weren't watching your age ra… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 05:38 PM |
| 5 | Why so many decent single men are singleIn my case I admit I barely go to pubs. I still do... sometimes... admittedly not frequently though. But there's a reason for that. I don't have any friends conveniently at hand to go with, because life happened and the few people I could still consider viable drinking partners all live far away, they have partners of their own, they have jobs to deal with, there may be kids involved. Which essentially means that if I do go to a pub, I get to sit there all evening looking and feeling like an abs… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 05:28 PM |
| 7 | What exactly is the leading cause of suicide for men?As much as I have a heaping pile of scepticism towards Dr K., I think that quote just about says it all. That's why therapy is often unhelpful, there's no amount of talking that'll suddenly fix your job, your debt, your living conditions, your health, your bad family, your lack of friends, your inability to form relationships, lack of support, being part of a culture or community where it's difficult to approach strangers to build new connections, people being abusive towards you... Not only tha… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 04:59 PM |
| 2 | This breaks my heart – A message to young men living without hopeWell, glad you're still here. I might not want this to be the entire reason I'm alive, but I'm right there with you on surviving out of spite. | /r/MensRights | 22/03/24 03:02 PM |
| 2 | This breaks my heart – A message to young men living without hopeYeah, I get it. I may not be in a position to do anything about it, and I badly want to just able to stop thinking about it all for a while and enjoy life, but I get it. I don't mean to be dismissive, by any means. They say ignorance is bliss, they're not wrong. If you can afford to be ignorant. The points you raised are valid and we shouldn't have to deal with them, this sub shouldn't need to exist, if any of the claims of equality and social progress were anywhere near true then we'd all be a … | /r/MensRights | 22/03/24 01:49 PM |
| 2 | This breaks my heart – A message to young men living without hopeThat's fair enough, I wouldn't argue with that. It's absolutely a worthy cause and I respect and appreciate that. But we're all different people, to some extent or another. Some of us need that intimacy, it's what drives us, keeps us going, gives us a sense of worth and purpose, those rushes of warmth are like a drug we never chose to be addicted to but were born to be anyway. Which is hell on earth when you don't get it for very extended periods of time. Even simple touch; a hug, a held hand, s… | /r/MensRights | 22/03/24 01:26 PM |
| 6 | This breaks my heart – A message to young men living without hopeNot to diminish the message that some are clearly taking from it, which is very important to them (lots of men in the YouTube comments saying it was hugely inspirational and motivating for them), but... I know. I know already. I've known since I was a young teenager that what I wanted was a loving, stable, deep relationship, perhaps a family at some point, to love and to be loved, to be part of that cycle, to have purpose and meaning and intimacy, to feel that warmth and to bring that warmth to … | /r/MensRights | 22/03/24 01:04 PM |
| 1 | Feminist dead giveawaystupid people in powerful positions? Selfish people in powerful positions would be my assessment. | /r/MensRights | 22/03/24 02:16 AM |
| 1 | What is happening to men? I am concernedAutism too. As far as I've been able to get numbers on it, approximately 30% of autistic people have relationships. Unfortunately, only 15% of autistic men have them whilst 45% of autistic women have them. Which also, given that men are far greater in numbers as far as diagnosed autistic people go, is a hell of a lot more lonely autistic men than lonely autistic women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 02:07 AM |
| 11 | What is happening to men? I am concernedboy scouts aren't demonized, though they are under 18s You mean those Boy Scouts who now don't have their own male-only space because they had to let girls join or else be branded sexist? (Edit: Apologies, I've just seen that somebody else has raised this same point already. But it's a very valid one to raise.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 01:37 AM |
| 2 | What is happening to men? I am concernedHello. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 01:35 AM |
| 2 | What is happening to men? I am concernedThat's what happens if you ban the decent men from saying their piece. The men who don't give a fuck and will revel in the attention will stand up and take their place, seizing the opportunity for the spotlight and to be seen as a role model and a martyr to the downtrodden and disadvantaged. It's socially/politically profitable for them to do that, they don't care about the men or the women they harm in the process. If you'd just let normal down to earth men speak without shouting over them or c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 01:31 AM |
| 1 | Prostitution won’t work (change my mind)Do you think you could argue in good faith since I said nothing about requiring those who aren't interested to service those needs? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 01:03 AM |
| 2 | What is happening to men? I am concernedQuite often that definition will vary depending on who and when you ask. It's often strongly implied to be "men" generally until questioned specifically about it, at which point it will become "privileged men" or "historically privileged men" or "the traditional expectation that men are the leaders" or "the general concept of male power". But that's quickly betrayed by the arguments that "men do it (commit crimes) to men" and when women say that people don't care about women's needs (in contrast… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 12:40 AM |
| 6 | What is happening to men? I am concernedA safe space for men to hate women is dangerous, but driving men to hating women and constantly erasing male victims and male issues is even more dangerous, and yet feminism does the latter virtually every single time. Well said. It baffles me that the latter is not understood as a consequence of essentially institutionalising the stereotype of the abusive, nagging wife. Apparently pressurising men and taking away their ability to actually achieve anything or feel valued or find support in their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Prostitution won’t work (change my mind)Do you think you could actually focus on the person suffering and not the hypothetical victims of the criminal consequences you just invented and assigned to them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 12:24 AM |
| 1 | Prostitution won’t work (change my mind)So we're not going to consider the most obvious reality that being without intimacy, without having chosen that, can be deeply distressing and cause one to feel increasingly in need of rectifying that deficiency, because intimacy to most people is of critical importance to good mental health? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/24 11:58 PM |
| 2 | Feminist dead giveawayNo. That's my sarcastic summary of feminism's attitude towards men. | /r/MensRights | 21/03/24 10:56 PM |
| 1 | Feminist dead giveawayFeel free! 😁 | /r/MensRights | 21/03/24 05:01 PM |
| 6 | Do men derive their self-esteem and emotional state from womenWith respect, I find it difficult to comprehend how anybody involved in these discussions, or even people generally, don't already know this. It's not a man thing. It's a people thing. It happens to people all the time. It might be more likely to be evident in children (because they have a lot more to learn in order to become adults), or might have much longer-term impacts in men due to cultural constraints, but... is it not obvious? How else would you learn anything, ever, if nobody ever told y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 02:29 PM |
| 32 | Feminist dead giveawayPeople made that system, men and women. Some women didn't even want the vote, that was their choice, that was the feedback they put into the system, that women (or they, on behalf of women) thought that would be problematic for them, that it was unnecessary responsibility, and they openly gave that opinion. Meanwhile, other women were using their men to influence the system, whether they personally wanted the vote or not, because they preferred to be able to manipulate their own personal protect… | /r/MensRights | 20/03/24 01:12 PM |
| 38 | Feminist dead giveawayYes? Rights are given, by somebody, to somebody else. They don't just magic out of thin air or come in an envelope marked "To Humanity, From God". Somebody has to enforce them. We did so, via violence and via laws. | /r/MensRights | 20/03/24 01:06 PM |
| 9 | Do men derive their self-esteem and emotional state from womenBecause looking bad gets bad feedback, looking good gets good feedback. You have to know which is which, and how to present that to other people, in order to get the desired feedback. You can't just decide that dressing like a hobo is fashionable now because other people will disagree and avoid you. If people avoid you, or are reluctant to make connections with you, there is no positive (or there is only negative) feedback to tell you that the things you're doing are right, valued, important, us… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 12:58 PM |
| 56 | Feminist dead giveawayThe way women have been treated just last 200 years Says a lot about how men feel about women. What, like giving them rights, protecting them, serving them, shielding them from unpleasantness, giving them gifts, doing the hard, dirty jobs so that they could live in relative comfort, paying significantly towards their upkeep, and fighting for their safety and freedom in a multitude of bloody, tragic wars? | /r/MensRights | 20/03/24 11:45 AM |
| 109 | Feminist dead giveaway"We don't hate men, we just don't give a wet dribbling shit whether they live or die, celebrate women who do hate them, and actively go out of our way to make it clear that we intend to spend less than zero effort on ensuring that feminism doesn't destroy every available avenue for a man to experience or appreciate manhood, even if that's ultimately going to be problematic for women in the long run." | /r/MensRights | 20/03/24 11:34 AM |
| 5 | What rights are the men in this sub fighting for?I'm not seeing a lot of discussion from the OP as a result of this post. I'm also somewhat curious about the fact that approximately 6-7 hours ago, two women both posted "I'm new here" posts (including the OP), both of whom have little recent activity on their profiles, and both of them have comments 2 years old within the first few pages. They also both have comments which suggest they're unfriendly towards men expressing unfortunate situations or life issues. | /r/MensRights | 20/03/24 03:20 AM |
| 7 | I’m a woman. Ask me anything serious that you want to know. I want to close the gap between men and women.whole point of the feminism that tries to relieve us from gender expectations, both men and women. No, it doesn't, and don't bother with the bagpipes and sporran. | /r/MensRights | 19/03/24 11:28 PM |
| 11 | I’m a woman. Ask me anything serious that you want to know. I want to close the gap between men and women.Come on. Drop that nonsense. I'm sure that's a lot easier to say when your gender experiences only a quarter (or fewer) of the suicides in most countries, with feminism there to pick you up when you're feeling the weight of the world, men generally in favour of your happiness and success, and with you presumably not personally living in dire loneliness and isolation like many men on these subs are. Not that I would wish to encourage any man to think that it should be considered a solution, but I… | /r/MensRights | 19/03/24 10:06 PM |
| 2 | Why do men catch feelings for their female friends than vice versa?Granted autistic men probably complain about it more openly but understanding your own subconscious is the ONLY route to true EQ experience abject loneliness far more often, statistically, than almost any other group and are therefore likely to represent autistic men as being the most troubled by it, and rarely or never experience being loved so have to attempt to figure out how the hell to get the thing everybody else just seems to "have". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 09:38 PM |
| 6 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menYes, somebody who's been in touch and directly asked for a job. Existing in the vicinity of somebody is not asking them out. You seem to be quite firm on that opinion as regards to men's behaviour around women. Why so stubbornly against applying the same to women's behaviour? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 02:29 AM |
| 0 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menI don’t think anyone has to help society I don't think you want to follow that to its logical conclusion, do you? my point is that you want women to do something for society while you aren’t doing something that society is requesting of you. If you aren’t fulfilling societal expectations why are you expecting that of women? What is it that I'm not doing for society? Participating in a shallow Idiocracy-level social media/OLD vanity frenzy? Blindly approving of any ideological demand anybody make… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 01:04 AM |
| 4 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menWhat I’ve done is explained how people get rejected in different ways. She hasn't been rejected. How can she have been? She hasn't asked. He hasn't said no. If she tells him no, that's pretty fucking clear. No. She said no. She's not interested. No chance, no way, no how. There will be no relationship, there will be no sex. Game over. Go away. If he doesn't ask her out, that could be for a multitude of reasons. He might be nervous. He might think she'll say no. He might think she's taken. He mig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 12:50 AM |
| 3 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menWhy shouldn’t you help society by being what women want you to be? If women want you to be a selfish vain antisocial violent narcissist, what then? What does that do for society? How is that "helping" society? It might be helping women, in a moment of emotional weakness or horniness, but for how long? Until he punches holes in the wall? Until he finds someone prettier? Until his investments fall through and he's broke? Until he gets arrested? Until he can't be bothered with raising a child toget… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 12:41 AM |
| 3 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menBut my scenario was of a man who did ask. Because men are expected to do that. If he does, and she says no, well, tough shit, right? But he knows he has to ask regardless and subject himself to that certainty of whichever answer she gives, because (statistically) she's sure as hell not going to ask him. Women aren't required or expected to do that and the point I was responding to was yours, in which you said that women are getting rejected by not being asked out, which is not true. I presented … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 12:27 AM |
| 10 | Disregarding appearance, modern dating dynamics naturally select for emotionally unavailable menEr, no, she isn't, because unless he explicitly says "no" then it's Schrodinger's Partner, there's still as much of a chance he says yes as he says no. The future hasn't happened yet, it hasn't been decided. She can continue to fantasise from now until forever, unless he shows up with a partner which without explicit rejection indicates that he's unavailable. Even then it's not necessarily an outright no, he might not have known she was into him, he might give up his current partner if he prefer… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/24 12:15 AM |
| 3 | To the men who complain about lonelinessBut it's not just the internet though, that's the problem. I mean, most of the reason I ever ended up posting here was because I was starting to see more and more of this creep into the mainstream. News articles, posters on walls, subtexts in TV shows/movies, that kind of stuff. I've found it hard enough to succeed socially and romantically/sexually all my life, again for reasons which weren't my fault, but I did acknowledge (when I became old enough to wrangle with it) that they were my problem… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 05:13 PM |
| 3 | To the men who complain about lonelinessI'm not 100% fully on board with what you're saying, because I'm sceptical of Dr K., for a number of reasons, but I wanted to say I appreciate the comment you wrote nonetheless and if he can help get the message across then I'm not going to argue. I agree though, largely, with your sentiment, and appreciate that you took the time to express it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 04:34 PM |
| 2 | To the men who complain about lonelinessI've been through far more shit than anybody here... or anybody anywhere would give me credit for. But the fact that I'm discussing why and how that's been a problem for me and other men doesn't mean that I haven't done anything about it. It's just assumed, because people can't help shitting on men and finding a thousand and one ways to blame them and not acknowledge external issues, that men who raise those points have done, and are doing, nothing to help resolve their personal circumstances. M… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 04:16 PM |
| 12 | "What Do We Need Men For?"Well, ladies, you're welcome to dredge canals, unblock sewers, collect and sort refuse, mine fuel and minerals, go logging, construct buildings, and defend the country with your life on the front lines if you wish. But don't take for granted that you currently don't have to. Because if you did then you'd soon change your tune. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/03/24 12:23 PM |
| 6 | To the men who complain about lonelinessYeah. They can't or won't even acknowledge that piling on men who are already not having a great time in life with more pressure, more stress, more shame, more exclusion, more experience of gender inequality in favour of women (regarding support and general societal acceptance) might not be a great idea. That's exactly how you get a person to snap. It's literal torture. What do they expect the outcome to be? Why are they doing that in a world they say is already terrifying to women because men a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 12:16 PM |
| 16 | To the men who complain about lonelinessA few days ago, they posted a clip from their podcast where they were mocking men who are isolating in loneliness. They referred to them as traumatized men, hiding in cabins polishing their weapons, and protecting themselves with their ‘traumahawks.’ While, they laughed in a mocking fashion, while interviewing some fat guy wearing a pair of sunglasses indoors, who is representing himself as the face and opinions of genz males in the current dating market. So... basically the gender flip of invit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 12:01 PM |
| 10 | To the men who complain about lonelinessI wish. Not that anybody would pay attention to it if it were (well, not the people who need to pay attention to it anyway, though it might hold some solace for those experiencing it). But if people just digested this one comment, it would solve so much of the hostility here overnight. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:57 AM |
| 8 | To the men who complain about lonelinessCouldn't have said it better myself. Thanks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:56 AM |
| 5 | To the men who complain about lonelinessSo why are you openly displaying yours here whilst bashing men for doing the same? Also, once again you claim that I insist on something which I've never once said and that I don't believe. I just explained to you that I've experienced considerable hardship, I openly acknowledge all the time that it's caused me serious damage. Yet people like you continue to try and add salt to those wounds, because you think it's funny. Well, bully for you, good job, I'm sure you're very proud. I can't possibly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:49 AM |
| 3 | To the men who complain about lonelinessOh hey, another example of how insincere you're being. I'll stop counting now, I think I've sufficiently highlighted that you have issues. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:40 AM |
| 9 | To the men who complain about lonelinessThat’s why you all get so angry. You can’t accept that other people also to through hardships and pull themselves through. No, the reason we get angry is because we go through those very same hardships and we get none of that same understanding, respect, or encouragement. In fact, far from that, we get constantly berated for not being able to overcome the kinds of shit that other people get a free pass on. If you can't see that, I can't make you see it, but I'm not going to sit here and validate… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:28 AM |
| 10 | To the men who complain about lonelinessIt’s funny because that’s what my original post was about, but deep down you all know you don’t have it in you to take action to do those things You don't know shit about me, or the hardship I've been through, or the effort I've put into fixing that, or the emotional work I've had to do to move past it. That alone disqualifies your opinion, because you've just assumed, based on your own bullshit biases, bigotry, and presumptions that I'm some lazy sack of shit who doesn't want to put in the work… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:16 AM |
| 8 | To the men who complain about lonelinessPeople who genuinely give a shit about a problem don't run around saying "lol triggered". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 11:02 AM |
| 5 | To the men who complain about lonelinessyes lol it’s so easy to trigger them Well, I guess I needn't have bothered pointing out why you're part of the problem, because this is all you had to say to prove it, in a convenient concise sentence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 10:50 AM |
| 8 | To the men who complain about lonelinessThereby proving that you have no interest in engaging with the actual problem, and the perspectives and experiences of the men you're blaming, but in fact wish only to show how superior you are and heap shame on the men who aren't living up to your personal benchmark. This is how it always goes. Point at somebody in a bad situation, completely ignore why they're in that situation or what in life might have got them there (often entirely legitimate issues with outside forces or personal circumsta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 10:48 AM |
| 5 | Male sexuality is suppressed in the West, but peoples keep pretending that it's not, while female is.This is typically secondary/high school age, where boys are not expected/permitted to wear shorts (and neither are girls) except during PE/gym/sports. So the only thing on the official uniform list that's allowed to be worn in a classroom setting which is shorter/more airy than full length trousers is skirts. It's not that they're wearing skirts because they're modern boys who think that's better, it's that it's a loophole in the rules which doesn't apply to shorts. They can point to the rules a… | /r/MensRights | 18/03/24 10:00 AM |
| 5 | A lot of guys here are simply too insecure, too self-loathing, and too emotional to ever get into a heterosexual relationship.If this is entertainment to you, if you have literally nothing better to do than come to a sub like this and treat it like a zoo full of emotionally traumatised men to laugh at, that really says as much about you as it does the men you're "entertained" by. It's not something positive, I'll tell you that much. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/24 11:36 PM |
| 36 | Male sexuality is suppressed in the West, but peoples keep pretending that it's not, while female is.3. You eventually explode because it's eaten your mental health alive, with some chance that you'll say or do something which "proves" that "men are bad" Then, instead of figuring out that they had anything to do with that, or could've prevented it, they'll just double down on telling men that they don't deserve help and women need even more of it because of the rise in bad men. | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 11:18 PM |
| 6 | Male sexuality is suppressed in the West, but peoples keep pretending that it's not, while female is.Not that I recall. This is one of the least exclusive (edit: male) spaces here that I know of. It certainly isn't PPD or MensLib. | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 07:48 PM |
| 13 | Despite female scholarships for IT and STEM outnumbering male ones by a landslide. Australia is failing to attract more female engineers. I wonder why?Yeah, I recently said somewhere else that in my extensive 20 years of experience of being in and out of IT-related education and now in employment in that field, I haven't seen the supposed barriers to women. I haven't seen women being excluded, I haven't seen women being demeaned or patronised or insulted or harrassed or assaulted, I haven't seen any of the "old boy's club" sexism, no objectifying posters or naked calendars on the walls, no arse-pinching, no signs of unhealthy interests in wome… | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 07:44 PM |
| 14 | Despite female scholarships for IT and STEM outnumbering male ones by a landslide. Australia is failing to attract more female engineers. I wonder why?Ah, but that would be patriarchal coercion too, wouldn't it? 😉 | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 07:31 PM |
| 14 | Male sexuality is suppressed in the West, but peoples keep pretending that it's not, while female is.Read this quick, because the mods remove anything that shows feminist what they really think, because the mods are cucks and will most likely say, "no incl content because we worship pussy". This, thankfully, is not PPD. | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 07:28 PM |
| 63 | Male sexuality is suppressed in the West, but peoples keep pretending that it's not, while female is.There are stories pretty much every summer now where boys in school have shown up wearing skirts as a fuck-you workaround to stupid rules like that, otherwise they'd be sitting suffering in heatwaves, in poorly thermally designed classrooms, with unpleasantly warm long trousers which aren't designed for hot weather. They (or their parents) are realising that the rules go both ways. You can't bleat on about sexism and transphobia and then tell a 13 year old boy that he did a bad thing showing up … | /r/MensRights | 17/03/24 07:24 PM |
| 3 | Improving Boys’ Education to Reduce PolarizationHer view was that nobody was missing men in her research classes but they'd be sorely missed if the garbage didn't get collected. Well, that's OK, because computers still get built and programmed without women in computer science classes too, as long as they're nurses and teachers we should be golden... right? 🤔 | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/03/24 07:19 PM |
| 6 | Improving Boys’ Education to Reduce PolarizationAbsolutely, it's not exactly going to make you feel confident, meaningful as a person with opinions and personality, or at all agentic, is it? The very things which (especially) men need in order to survive (and especially thrive) in the world on just about every level. Socially, gaining and succeeding in employment, relationships/family-building, even general everyday skills like buying and selling things. Even moreso now that women and girls (who still expect men to outperform and outearn them… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/03/24 07:15 PM |
| 2 | Do men see women as objects?you can use the same technique used in that paper to find evidence of facial emotion recognition in a dead salmon bought at the grocery store. Worse than that, we see faces and infer emotion in objects too. Like looking at the front of a car and deciding that its headlights look light eyes and the radiator grill or the front splitter looks like a mouth. We say cars with "squinty" headlights look angry, mean, powerful, we say cars with big rounded headlights look feminine or happy, people put fak… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/03/24 06:52 PM |
| 5 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?Absolutely. People not acknowledging that we're capable of, and desperately seeking, actual emotional connection is almost as bad as the fact we don't have it. Just constant accusations that we're lying, manipulative, unemotional robots seeking out meaningless sex, with no apparent comprehension that we're human goddamn beings with just as much need for companionship and intimacy as women keep complaining they can't find either. Except many of them get chances we couldn't even dream of, never mi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/24 12:02 PM |
| 10 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?you have to give someone tangible practical incentive to help men. Curiously, "if you don't want more messed up aimless angry men thinking/saying/doing bad things to/about women, give them hope, encouragement, and potential, and treat them with dignity and respect, stop antagonising/berating/blaming/culturally harassing them and they'll stop responding accordingly" doesn't seem incentive enough. Despite apparent panic over their existence. Apparently it's OK for feminism to operate on that princ… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/24 01:43 AM |
| 9 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?First, i don't know what's your insistence with sex, because most incel i spoke to firstmost want a gf not a hooker. Indeed, in many cases that would make it worse, to have spent a significant amount of money only to confirm that your only potential route to (something which looks vaguely like) intimacy is to bribe somebody to pretend for an hour. They'll be gone after and you'll still have to sit there realising they didn't care even a little bit about you, except for the money that used to be … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:46 PM |
| 28 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?It was never "dangerous misogynists" to begin with, it was a woman who came up with it to describe herself. It would just become a euphemism treadmill, just like all the other unacceptable terms for groups of people with complicated implications for society. The mainstream have no intention or interest in actually understanding the problem, they like easy labels, especially when they're connected to groups they can easily disregard as needing to be punished, segregated, and locked away from ever… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:37 PM |
| 10 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?While the root cause may be the same, socially there is a huge difference between a guy who wishes they could have a romantic partner and is sad that they don't and a guy who wishes they had a romantic partner and is hostile towards the world because they don't. Given the lack of any validation, compassion, understanding, and a viable way to escape loneliness, the former can easily become the latter. There's only so much psychological strain a person can take. People change. People snap. People … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:34 PM |
| 7 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?But I agree they need to abandon the term; it's too loaded these days. Some play into it, because that's part of the culture of some of those spaces. They already consider themselves locked out of society in terms of experiencing closeness and intimacy and they know they're demonised by massive swathes of people, so in an environment which thrives on dark humour and internet trolling, which values making the most offensive jokes or most outrageous statements (whether they believe them or not), w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:22 PM |
| 25 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?In terms of answering the headline question, I don't think you could get any closer than this. Just about nails the entire problem in one line. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:16 PM |
| 6 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?I understand what you mean but there's no evidence to suggest that calling it InSing(involuntarily single) or something would be anymore well received since the idea of a male loneliness epidemic has been relentlessly mocked with the same rhetoric used to dismiss cels' even though loneliness is commonly understood to mean despair due to a lack of romantic relationships. Certainly didn't seem to garner any more positive attention when those same men were simply "nerds" or "loners" or "virgins", l… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:15 PM |
| 13 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?There are people on the incel.co forum who make hundreds or thousands of posts a month about their...situation. They basically live their life on the forum. Imagine if they instead spent that time going to the gym, developing a hobby or taking part in a community that involved regularly meeting women, going to a bookstore, going out into society, etc. You don't think they've considered that? You don't think there are deeper reasons why they feel as helpless as they do? Many of them have had very… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 10:11 PM |
| 10 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?I agree, it's just a shame that so many people don't. I don't hate women, I think that's an absurd way to feel about a lack of relationships, no matter how much it hurts. I don't even hold it against people who did hurt me, like the girls in high school who would ask me out for a joke because they thought it was funny that I might say yes and then be horribly disappointed. There's nothing to be gained from my holding that against anybody. But that behaviour, and many, many more soul-crushing ins… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:52 PM |
| 10 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?But many don't do that. It's a media/online meme that "incel" means "raging violent misogynist whose sole demand is that women be delivered to him bound and gagged". I suggest listening to Naama Kates' Incel podcast and hearing some actual interviews with actual incels who, for the most part, exhibit depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, substance abuse issues, and have nothing against women as a group or as individuals. They may hate the system, the current cultural environment, they certainl… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:39 PM |
| 5 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?I don't think it's the solution and I've no idea how you'd even accomplish it without a serious hard turn politically or outright violence, but I can't blame people for thinking what that commenter said. It's worked for other groups, especially women, so why wouldn't it seem logical to play them at their own game? Those are the rules we're made to live by, so the end game would naturally be to turn the tables. Unfortunately, this isn't an equal fight, because doing that would play directly into … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:35 PM |
| 29 | How do we get people to have more empathy for incel men?Doesn't seem to have helped those of us on the autism spectrum... Many incels are, actually. According to a survey conducted on a large incel forum some years ago, autism was present at over 10 times the level of the normal population. That, and very very high rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidality. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:29 PM |
| 3 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?It's just logical too. You need something to measure something else by, and you need to measure it (to some extent) because you need to know if you're achieving the things that you need to be achieving. Now, purely from a primitive mammal standpoint, those things would be "not starving to death", "reproducing", "ideally raising/training offspring to take your place", and "not being ill/dead". Those are pretty easy metrics to judge and, besides the danger inherent in being alive in an environment… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:52 AM |
| 9 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?Absolutely. Likely in the same breath as repeating words and phrases like "toxic masculinity", "patriarchy", "misogynistic", and "male privilege". | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/24 09:03 AM |
| 23 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?And all in all, I'm pretty much convinced that a lot of women, if they had to endorse the male role in romantic relationships dynamics, would be even more bitter and hateful than the most hateful of male incels. I've seen various takes on this which roughly echo the theme that "if women suddenly had to experience society's treatment of men as we do, they wouldn't last a week". It's perhaps mildly hyperbolic, but I think there's truth to it. There have been numerous accounts of FtM trans people e… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 10:56 PM |
| 9 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?This is also the result of free dating market dynamics, but here it is seen as exploiting foreign women. However no one even entertains the notion that men can be exploited in the domestic dating market Or even that those men may be being exploited when travelling, by women attaching themselves to wealthy (by local standard) foreigners for a ticket (and a passport) out of the relative poverty they might be living in. The fact that she might dump him if he can't provide wealth or entry to another… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 10:40 PM |
| 25 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?Whenever I see a poster in my uni about a feminist strike/protest for example, I do think "am I actually welcome here". I've been trying to get through to people with pictures of anti-harassment posters (which I made a post about here ages ago, when I assembled a poorly composed collage of them), but nobody gets it. Nobody either can or wants to acknowledge that having institutional and police/government propaganda on the walls of public spaces which, in so many words, essentially says "men are … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 09:56 PM |
| 19 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?Yup, it's incredibly alienating, both to be made to feel like an outsider in a place where you should be able to feel normal (and previous generations largely would have done) and then, to make it worse, be denied the validation of being acknowledged when you speak about it. It'd be bad enough to just be in a place like that, but for nobody to understand how you're feeling, or why, and have them (and everybody else, including institutions and governments) double down on it and tell you that you'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 09:51 PM |
| 13 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?Yes, this, thank you. I missed out highlighting that a job, an income, is a prime example of how you need other people to give you opportunities and resources to survive (and certainly to thrive) in our world. What you think about what you do is utterly immaterial if nobody else thinks what you do is worth anything. If you don't live up to other people's expectations then you may very well become an invisible homeless person begging for pennies on the street. Which, to many, is the very epitome … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 09:46 PM |
| 13 | Is a large component of the male loneliness epidemic the general feeling of being undesirable?Ah yes, that well-known solution to loneliness: trying to make it through life alone. Look, we're a social species and we have biological urges, they don't just go away because you got a hobby or you throw yourself into a job. That's a road to burnout, I know, I've been there, because I haven't had anything else. I can't turn that off. I can't just disable the parts of me that make me human, those desires, that longing for intimate sensory experiences, or that (previously absent but newly) incre… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 09:29 PM |
| 2 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?I simply pointed out that, especially when you are socially vulnerable, you have to be (and are made very aware that you have to be) on guard for people trying to take advantage of you, your social group, or your hobbies There is literally no measurable benefit to liking anything. Taste is subjective. When people make small talk and work through introductions, they seek common ground. "Oh, I like Kanye, too" isn't a challenge to manhood. It's small talk. Pleasantries. The search for common inter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 07:08 PM |
| 2 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?While there are distinct and admirable benefits to a single minded focus on a niche interest Really? Doesn't seem to me that many people agree with that, at least not how they treat people who do have such interests. Which is partly why people who have them can get pissed off with others who use those interests to manipulate and shame them. My point, to reiterate, was that some people claim to be into things in order to gain a favourable social position, which is true, and that those people are … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 05:35 PM |
| 5 | I think love and romance is not very important and can be dangerous. Men happiness depend on how pretty the women he knocked up irrelevant of the motives of those women. Men want women's "body," not her soul.Feelings are the reason anybody does any of this to begin with (including the feelings of physical intimacy). They can be manipulated, yes, but if it's purely a physically mechanical and unemotional business transaction then what's the point? Why even bother to have a relationship at all? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 04:51 PM |
| 3 | Men's self worth and general perception in society is tied to their success with women.How does society know about if you are successful with women or not? People keep asking this like it's supposed to be either a gotcha or a sensible question with an obvious answer: "they don't". But that's not the case. Of course people know. I thought men were supposed to be the body language and communication school dropouts? You don't think anybody paying even the slightest bit of attention is going to notice the clues? When a conversation about partners, or sex, or relationships comes up, an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 03:16 PM |
| 1 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Most people don't claim to be a fanatic, they just do what they do and people brand them accordingly. Nerd, geek, jock, gamer, whatever. But that wasn't my point, you should probably ask them that. I was pointing out that if somebody claims to be into something but can't back up that claim with any hint of knowledge, understanding, or interest in it, then they're probably not genuine, which is something anybody should look out for and be wary of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Sure, fair enough, I just wanted to expand on that thought because a lot of people seem to say it as though it's actually true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 11:55 AM |
| 1 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Sure, I can certainly see how that would be a drag. Takes a lot of skill and investment, from what I understand of the game, I get that it would suck to have it ruined by somebody who doesn't really want to be there or has no idea what they're doing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 07:47 AM |
| 10 | When guys say they can’t find a girl, is it because you’re not finding 1st dates or not being able to find a commitment?I agree with all but your last paragraph. You say it takes a bit of courage, yet we live in a culture which constantly throws warning signs and barriers at men (especially socially unsuccessful men) telling them "stay the fuck away from women, you sexually aggressive creep". That's on top of any issues they may have had with being socially ostracised or bullied, potentially by women, and in the process being given very good reason to suspect they're the very men who that rhetoric and those punis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 07:12 AM |
| 4 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?It's not just women, men test male newcomers all the time too. Getting accepted into metalhead circles, for example, is like an actual exam. You could just as easily argue the same about women doing the gatekeeping too though. I've given reasons why, in this thread, and I maintain that there's validity to some level of "gatekeeping" (which could be considered compatibility checking and keeping yourself safe), and that applies to both men and women. But it's no more true that a man might gatekeep… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 07:05 AM |
| 3 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Especially when considering that being a "nerd" is now cool... Well, this is part of the problem: it isn't cool. Some parts of some subcultures have been commercially popularised, but the moment you start straying too far from the mainstream it's easy to end up back in no man's land. Saying you like playing Mario? Cool. People have Switch games and probably played the Wii and maybe owned an N64 or a SNES as a kid. Mario games are generally accessible and fun. Start talking about how cartridges w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:53 AM |
| 3 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?New players at my dnd table sometimes join but its clear they have no intrest in dnd just making new social connection. (I'm a dude but) this is one of the reasons I've never actually tried hobbies like that. I don't think I'd be into it enough and I'd just slow the game down/drag the mood down/feel like an imposter. Which might be true, if I were to actually try it, but that's cool with me, I can appreciate it conceptually as an outside observer and let players enjoy their thing without me. I d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:41 AM |
| 1 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?I'm not 100% sure they're being serious about actually expecting a woman to name each of those Pokemon, but their point is valid: why, if she can't, is she potentially lying? Who is she, if she's not the woman she says she is and what are her motivations for being ingenuine? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:34 AM |
| 3 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Most nerds aren't a catch, but it sounds like they think they're the shit. In that environment they may well be. They might not be hot, they might not be popular, and they might not be valued as people, but if they have the respect of their peers then that - if you're stepping into that arena - is what you're going to have to appreciate them for. You don't get to say waltz into their space and say "yeah, OK, so people here think you're the shit, they look up to you, they respect and trust you, t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:28 AM |
| 3 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?Or they're being paid to be there. That's a big one in tech/gaming, something traditionally looked down upon by... most people, but especially potential female partners (unless it's fixing their iPad, in which case you're no better than a back-of-house tech repair person and no more deserving of affection for it). Booth babes, camgirls, cosplayers, the space is overrun with women with at best mild (but at worst zero or negative) interest in the actual subject trying to exploit the fanbase of lon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:18 AM |
| 6 | Why do some men feel the need to “test” you when you state your interests?The strongest and least offensively judgemental reason is that many "nerds" (typically men) have experienced people (often, but not exclusively, women) pretend to like their hobbies and interests for attention or potential to abuse them. Sometimes that's selfish, sometimes that's ignorance/social obliviousness, sometimes it's malicious. But it ties in a number of thoughts I've seen in this thread. I'm not going to claim that it's always this and that the person gatekeeping the hobby isn't just b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/24 06:03 AM |
| 2 | Fellas, you’re not single because you are unattractive, short, broke, play video games, watch anime, or other generic guy shit your single because you’re boringOK then, so making uninformed but authoritative-sounding judgements on why men this or why incel that is also stupid, but... well, this place exists, and it's full of it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/24 06:17 PM |
| 2 | Fellas, you’re not single because you are unattractive, short, broke, play video games, watch anime, or other generic guy shit your single because you’re boringI'm talking about the women here who immediately jump on men's complaints, call them horny creepy misogynists, and accuse them of wanting sex (and only sex) to just drop into their lap. But your OP is related, it doesn't matter whether it's sex or relationships, the point I was making is the same. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/24 06:16 PM |
| 2 | Fellas, you’re not single because you are unattractive, short, broke, play video games, watch anime, or other generic guy shit your single because you’re boringThey just come with huge caveats Which is why there's nothing of any real value in posts claiming to be able to diagnose why "men" or "lonely men" or "men on here" or "men who don't get laid" are struggling. Because they're just pet peeves or specific biases being spouted by whoever posts them. This place is full of them. "Boring", "lazy", "cheap", "ugly", "shit personality", "owns no furniture"/"lives in squalor", "doesn't go out", "plays video games", "watches porn", "misogyny". Every time, "t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/24 02:08 PM |
| 7 | Fellas, you’re not single because you are unattractive, short, broke, play video games, watch anime, or other generic guy shit your single because you’re boringHaving fun and making jokes together is fine. Expected, even. Being actively told up-front that she demands that you entertain her, as though she has no intention of reciprocation or investment in you/your date other than to judge and use you, that's not. Likewise, offering to pay for her drinks is fine, but if she comes out right from the start and says "buy me shit" then that's indicative of a problematic attitude. A date, and indeed the relationship which comes from it, should be natural and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/24 01:21 PM |
| 5 | Fellas, you’re not single because you are unattractive, short, broke, play video games, watch anime, or other generic guy shit your single because you’re boringYou're assuming that the person don't get any dates BECAUSE they don't do anything interesting, this is the part you don't understand and is being obtuse about. Yeah, that's the part that usually disintegrates these theories. "You're single because X." Except if nobody's ever said yes to a date in the first place (especially via OLD, the land of a million identical profiles, where nobody says anything meaningful about themselves), how would they ever find out whether you're X or not? They don't.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/24 01:15 PM |
| 4 | Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline.OLD has been around for over 30 years now and Match is 28 years old. Except 15+ years ago it was considered lame, creepy, and dangerous, being mocked just as video dating agencies and the like had been before it, with the assumption that anybody who needed to use it must be either a total loser (man or woman) or a dangerous freak (man) seeking to abuse its users. Not only that, it wasn't carried around in people's pockets, buzzing and beeping at them to pay attention, demanding constant subscrip… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/24 06:00 PM |
| 6 | What do you say when you’re talking about men’s issues and feminists bring up the “who’s in power” argument?Who has more power? Me, a straight white man barely getting by in life after a youth and half an adulthood lost to abuse, or: Highest-paid female actress Emily Blunt (UK)/Scarlett Johansson (US) Wealthiest female singer Victoria Beckham (UK)/Rihanna (US) Ex-prime minister Theresa May (UK)/first lady Jill Biden (US) Supreme court justice Dame Vivian Rose, Lady Rose (UK)/Sonia Sotomayor (US) Highest paid female CEO Denise Coates (UK)/Martine Rothblatt (US) Here's a clue: I've never been in a Holly… | /r/MensRights | 10/03/24 07:00 PM |
| 0 | FEMINISM WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADFine, so I presume you'd be happier with no national police force, no mass communication, no street lighting, a flavour of medical science which considered women's emotions to be hysteria, and according to feminism an insurmountable patriarchy which would do as it wishes with women as slaves to men's desires and club together to ensure that you stayed that way regardless of the crimes they committed to make that happen? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/24 04:21 AM |
| 1 | FEMINISM WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADAt church we were all afraid to go to the washroom because the janitor would peek over. Yeah, OK, and many young boys who belonged to certain churches in the past half a century or so were sexually abused as well. But you know what they weren't? Being savaged by wild animals, dying of plague, sent off to war, or worked to death as slaves. Broadly speaking, men are more likely to be at risk of unnatural or premature death than you are, and still we're in the best and safest era there's ever been.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/24 04:04 AM |
| 0 | Women standards aren’t high, it’s just too many guys are too desperate to not be single.You can't always have something just because you want it. These men you are talking about need to learn that. Yeah, except we're not talking about cookies, a PS5, or a Ferrari, we're talking about the one thing in life that has purpose to every mammal: reproduction (and, in the case of humans, the social constructs we're built around it). That's a powerful fundamental drive, you can't just turn it off. If all the people saying "stop whining, you're not entitled to sex" experienced the same level… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/24 07:25 PM |
| 3 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societySome people don't want to live without hard drugs because they think life is boring without them, but that doesn't mean that it's normal. Life might be more exciting for those people with their nose full of coke, but the rest of us can find enjoyment in life without it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/24 12:45 AM |
| 3 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyI don't believe I said that I believe it hijacks the brain's circuits. It might be habit-forming, but as I said in another comment that may well be due to unsufficient access to the real deal. Certainly is for me. Why would I stare at pictures on a screen when I could indulge all of my senses at once with an actual real woman? Except I don't have a real woman, so I deal with it as best I can. It's like wishing you had a Ferrari and going to sit in one of those kiddy rides at the mall where you s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/24 12:02 AM |
| 3 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyWell, you can believe what you like, but as far as I'm concerned if I'd been able to enter a relationship then there would've been no need for me to bother with porn at all. That doesn't mean it's "women's fault", but you can't blame a guy like me for still having needs but no "natural" outlet for them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 11:57 PM |
| 1 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyI'm not a million miles away from 40 and I've spent 30+ years of my life being trapped in a home with abusive parents and less than zero privacy. I'm not about to go running back to sharing my living space with other people I haven't explicitly chosen to be with. It's about time I had some dignity and personal freedom. As for moving, not everybody can live in a city. I don't think you appreciate just how expensive that can be and how little of a paycheque most people have after taking care of re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 11:42 PM |
| 4 | Intersectionality is terrible in practice, but the theory its based on isnt badYeah, and what would you even do with those scores, at the end of the day, if it were even possible to award them objectively and without the outcome changing 5 minutes later because the context of the situation is now different? Even if it weren't a target moving more constantly and erratically than a drunken fruit fly, what then? How did you arrive at those scores? Straight white woman is "more oppressed" than straight white man. But gay white man might be more oppressed than her because being… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/03/24 12:46 PM |
| 2 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyBut it hasn't, not really. I've been in online communities and have used instant messaging for longer than many of the current generation have existed on this planet. It works, somewhat, for a while. But it's not enough. It's not enough in the day to day and it's not enough in the long term. It's a hollow fakery that lacks so many important aspects of actually socialising. That might be different if you're successful in OLD, so that you can meet people physically and fill in the blanks, as it we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 12:10 PM |
| 3 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyIronically I'm the most technical nerd I've ever known exist in real life and I'm sick and tired of everything being digital. I spent decades being left to do my own thing, to learn the stuff I needed to eventually get a degree and a career in tech, spending endless hours in solitude trying to occupy myself (in a lack of availability of people to actually hang out with) desperately trying to satisfy my ever decreasing mental health with personal projects and self-directed education. I knew it wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 12:01 PM |
| 3 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyPorn doesn't do it though, it certainly doesn't for me. It's not people. Real people. Physical people you can touch and have a conversation with and experience sensory experiences with in realtime. No lag, no screens, actual intimacy, the kind where just sitting near somebody actually feels like something, never mind having sex with them. That's what I want. Doesn't even have to involve sex. Obviously, eventually, in terms of a relationship, I'd want it to. But that's not what I'm looking for. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 11:49 AM |
| 5 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societySocial media and the phone is a super stimulus that too easily fulfills an instinctual desire and humans often don’t handle that well When I go out to a bar or something to try and have an even remotely social evening (which basically never works, but I try, periodically) I explicitly don't touch my phone for as long as possible. I grab a drink, I sit, I watch people, I look for opportunities, I try and appear open and not busy. I eventually end up cracking and needing to reach for the phone to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 11:42 AM |
| 1 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyAmen to that. I'm in my 30s, the bullying is old news, and even the abuse I got at home is no longer an issue. It's my time. Except now everybody else is gone, moved away, working, with partners, building families of their own, based on the success they had 10-20 years ago that I didn't. Trying to get what you couldn't get at school later in life, even if you're now more capable than ever, is rock hard. No confidence, no practice, no confidence, shitty mental health, and no social contacts to fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 11:14 AM |
| 1 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societyThat also costs money. In a vacuum, yes, it's a sensible suggestion. But if somebody can't afford to keep making 10 mile trips to dead meetups/groups, what makes you think they can afford to uproot their life, haul the contents of their home somewhere, re-establish themselves in the new place, and then potentially have to commute further to work instead? Just for the hope of potentially finding new people? That's the problem with these kinds of suggestions. They're never based in real life. They… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 10:52 AM |
| 5 | The fact that 61% of all adults in the US are lonely clearly shows that it has nothing to do with the individual, it's a problem with societySo what do you like to talk about? I know when to shut up about my hobbies, I know nobody gives a shit about them and that the moment I open my mouth and talk about anything I like or do they're liable to walk away. Which is unhealthy for me and makes it seem like I don't have any passions or interests, just because nobody wants to give the time of day to somebody who doesn't talk about whatever popular bullshit is in right now. What makes your shit not stink? Why wouldn't your preferences be ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 10:44 AM |
| 4 | A thought experiment for menBut that's not the whole context. If I find 80% of women in my age range attractive enough to potentially be with, you're asking me to judge based on the very least attractive 20%. If, as those here who believe in it often say, the inverse is true for women, then your idea of "unattractive" or "ugly" is going to be massively different from mine. In that context, you're trying to get men to answer "yes" to "hey, would you write off 80% of women?" by asking them a misleading question to make it lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 06:48 AM |
| 1 | A thought experiment for menI don't think you picked very good pictures, but they look fine to me. Not strikingly attractive and possibly a little thick, but at a glance I don't think any of them are hideous. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 06:44 AM |
| 4 | A thought experiment for menOK, so you (a woman) are going to tell me (a man) what I want? Funny how that's somehow acceptable and "true" when it's that way around, isn't it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 06:41 AM |
| 1 | A thought experiment for menBut it is 80% of women. Your main example doesn't load, but from what I could tell from your other examples... no, it isn't. Perhaps there's some cultural disconnect (because I'm in the UK) but I don't recognise your suggestion that the average woman resembles Big Momma. If I walk out into town tomorrow, the vast majority are not going to look like the women you seem to think they would. Some will be overweight, yes, some perhaps legitimately obese, but that's a minority. Statistically, it's a m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 02:50 AM |
| 4 | A thought experiment for menSex or a monogamous long term relationship? Yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 02:28 AM |
| 2 | A thought experiment for menCome to terms with what? You didn't describe anything I couldn't find attractive in some way or another. I might be lonely, inexperienced, depressed, and frustrated, but I'm also realistic, open-minded, patient, and interested in depth. So what if she's not a 21 year old supermodel? Neither am I. Any sane, rational, sensible, mature person should be able to set their expectations appropriately. The opportunity I most regret not being ready to take is a woman who was very visibly overweight, who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/24 02:13 AM |
| 4 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadYeah, pretty much. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/24 02:26 AM |
| 7 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadAnaylsis/criticism of present day gender politics and imbalance of social power = "woe is me" content, apparently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/24 02:22 AM |
| 2 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?Like I said to the OP, just because you did it doesn't mean everybody else can. People, especially autistic people, have vastly different difficulties/challenges/symptoms and vastly different levels of support/family care/access to appropriate friend groups to learn and grow positively from. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?The game is rigged. That's the nature of autism. It's a recognised disability known to be extremely detrimental to social development (and the infinite other effects that has down the line). If it weren't a legitimate problem then it wouldn't be a diagnosis. The stats say that 15% of autistic men have partners, compared to 45% of autistic women. Both far below NT norms, but clearly men have it considerably worse. Are they all just "not trying"? That seems unlikely to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 12:28 AM |
| 2 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?do not give up and do not be afraid to fail. That's a hell of a lot easier for you to say as a woman than it is for a man to actually follow up on, autism or not. When's the last time you got called a disgusting creep and had it implied that you might be dangerous for being socially awkward, anxious, and inexperienced? When's the last time your gender was seriously considered to be detrimental to humanity and a violent sexual threat to innocent, vulnerable people? Even if you were right about it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 12:25 AM |
| 8 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?Yeah, I think that adds to the pressure and the bad self-image too, because it feels like if there's any time you should've been able to do it, it's back then when everybody was young, dumb, wasted, and up for anything. It feels like you screwed up not being able to just do it, right there, when it was practically sitting there on a plate. But it's just not that simple. It's easy for people to say "stop making it hard for yourself" or "stop complaining and do it" or whatever, but that's the poin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 12:14 AM |
| 3 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?Well, fair enough, and it sucks that you experience those things. But you surely have to know that they severely limit opportunities to experience intimacy, right? You got lucky, that's cool, but I really don't think that's something anybody can "learn". Sure, "put yourself out there", but statistically autism is an absolutely crippling factor, whether you do that or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 12:04 AM |
| 9 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?You can control putting yourself in a social space but you can't necessarily control people's reactions to you (and it may be difficult to control every aspect of your reaction back to them too). You've posted a lot of these questions here, often centred around the idea of "I did it, why can't you?", but in doing so you seem to disregard the fact that "autism" is not a personality type and that just because you, as somebody who is autistic, happened to succeed it doesn't mean that everybody who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/24 05:46 PM |
| 16 | Would autistic guys have more luck if they were more social?To the OP title: yes. But it's not nearly that simple because, although it's true that (on average) being more social raises the likelihood of having opportunities and success in those opportunities, autism is a huge spectrum full of a hundred different traits and symptoms and any one of them (and even in combination with normal personality traits) could still make it very difficult. You're essentially leaning into the "just put yourself out there and touch grass" argument, as though that'll mag… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/24 05:28 PM |
| 7 | Reddit's hatred of men makes it so difficult to get relationship adviceIt's not even just Reddit. I've experienced this (primarily on Reddit, yes, but also) elsewhere; Discord groups, online Meetup groups, autism communities, to name a few examples off the top of my head. If you, as a guy, don't just naturally succeed in relationships and generally in life enough to never need to point out bias against or difficulties specific to men/male gender roles, you're fucked. Because if you raise those points, if you say that you're having issues, that society isn't set up … | /r/MensRights | 04/03/24 01:20 AM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?Much like most of us wouldn't, because a) we're not stupid and b) this is a place specifically for discussion about things most people wouldn't discuss in real life, so of course that's what people are going to see being spoken about. I might hypothetically hang out on a car forum too, but I'm not going to try talking about tyre pressure and ECU tuning when I'm trying to have a date. Unless she happens to be a car enthusiast too, which is unlikely, I'm going to bring the right discussion to the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/24 12:35 AM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?I'd prefer "you're not my type, physically, sorry" over "ew, creep, misogynist, fuck off, you entitled sperglord". Well, OK, I've never had a woman say exactly that to me in real life, but it's not far off what some women say on here. I'd also appreciate if we could still hang out, as friends, because unless it's a woman who I've grown attached to over a long period of time then chances are I just thought she was superficially cool, from an initial first impression, and shooting my shot won't ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/24 12:26 AM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?I think a lot of men (myself included) look for things to find attractive in a woman too, rather than looking for things to exclude them by. I can watch myself do it in realtime before I click back to the real world. "Hey, you know, OK, so she's a bit older than me/she's a little on the thick side/she's maybe not the smartest or best educated, but she still looks good for her age/she still has a cute face/she seems like she's fun and maybe that could balance out my tendency to be intellectual an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/24 12:18 AM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?It's only common sense if doing it results in positive outcomes. Otherwise it's being an idiot and expecting to succeed. If you grew up isolated in a house for 20 years where every sink had the taps switched around so that the blue tap ran scalding hot water and the red tap ran freezing cold ice water, how do you think you'd react, with no proof that that's not how it's supposed to be, when you finally got out into the real world? First time you went into a public bathroom and tried to wash your… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/24 11:53 PM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?Who needs algorithms? I grew up before anybody had heard the word "Google", before Zuckerberg had even thought about building an online social network, before streaming online video was viable for most people (never mind as easy as it is now, with YouTube, Twitch, and TikTok). Existing in society (and a little help from media echoing the same sentiments and stereotypes) was plenty to cause me to become highly wary and sceptical of other people. Doesn't mean that I hate other people (and their ge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/24 11:47 PM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?What the previous commenter said makes sense... if you view the word exclusively as a social label designating yourself or others as misogynistic antisocial threats to womanhood. Which is very convenient for them because they get to overlook the human struggle of the actual person underneath and get to just throw around labels, accusations, shame, and blame instead. You no longer have to acknowledge or feel bad about the actual problem, instead you can simply believe them to be deserving of mise… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/24 11:29 PM |
| – | Why does this sub pretend like obvious things are super overcomplicated?Can't speak to the autism though, that's outside my wheelhouse. That's often the cause of those bad reactions and the lack of positive, encouraging, productive social learning experiences. It does vary though. For me, yes, that was likely highly relevant in my lack of heathy social development, but the damage I ultimately suffer now is not autism, it's the result of social rejection and being isolated from positive social experiences (or any social experiences, for some considerable time, thanks… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/24 11:17 PM |
| 4 | Q4M: How is approaching random women out in the streets any better than online dating?I don’t get why chronically online individuals would want to go offline trying to date when there are infinite women on social media to talk to. Because that's shallow, distant, unsatisfying, often feeling mechanical, pointless, and repetitive, and can easily be prevented by privacy and communication settings. A stolen photo attached to a fake profile and a text chat bot can reproduce that experience, which should tell you just how human an experience it isn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/02/24 04:50 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: How is approaching random women out in the streets any better than online dating?For a sub explicitly created to talk about gender issues and dating, you'd think this would be the very obvious answer. That's what we're (or certainly most of the men here) looking for. At least you might get to actually converse, however briefly, with an actual person, in a physical space, using your actual voice, in a shared environment where you can express personality/vibe and share experiences of local sensory inputs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/02/24 04:47 PM |
| 5 | Labour to help schools develop male influencers to combat Tate misogynyOur disconnect may be that I've been discussing this recently in more general UK-related subs and I may be referencing information not included in the article above. In those discussions, it was pointed out that this source has some more specific details. It's clearly talking about this as a solution to men and boys behaving in ways contravene the current cultural demands that we unquestioningly serve the needs of women and feminism. The word "misogyny" is included 11 times, "sexual" and "harass… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/02/24 04:31 PM |
| 6 | Labour to help schools develop male influencers to combat Tate misogynyIt's quite simple. Boys and men are critically undersupported and currently subject to huge societal neglect, bigotry, and potentially even the very same oppression feminism claims to be against. Statistically, men and boys aren't looking all too healthy, that doesn't happen out of nowhere. So instead of addressing that with mental health resources, corrective economic action, restoration of social cohesion, and increasing social mobility, their answer is to double down on telling men that the r… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/02/24 09:19 AM |
| 7 | Labour to help schools develop male influencers to combat Tate misogynyWell, except in all the ways it's flawed: It fails to identify the underlying cause It continues to blame and shame boys/men rather than make any attempt understand them and do something about that underlying cause It conveys ignorance of the environment men currently have to deal with and, frankly, have always (although not quite this blatantly) had to deal with as workhorses, soldiers, and providers It betrays their origins as a party of the gritty, boots on the ground, real world working clas… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/02/24 01:47 PM |
| 1 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menYou wouldn't concede even if I stapled a Polaroid of the evidence to your face, so what's the point? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 09:58 PM |
| 2 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menDon't pull that shit with me. Authorities can and do imply things which are not true or are beyond the actual scope of the laws and regulations they allude to when trying to discourage particular behaviours. The authorities put those messages up. Whether they have any legal force is irrelevant. Those posters exist, in public places, with very real official authoritative associations, and as such they have repercussions beyond that which you (very narrowly interpret in order to) believe are pure … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 08:14 PM |
| 4 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menFor somebody who participates in a debate sub, you sure don't seem to be able to grasp how implication, suggestion, and other vague or non-literal forms of rhetoric can affect people's lives and perceptions of their lives outside of the very specific thing you interpret it as having anything to do with. It forms part of the environment, which in turn forms a complete picture of the motivations, aspirations, fears, and difficulties people have. There's even a term for it. Here you go: Chilling ef… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 08:00 PM |
| 8 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menSee my oft-posted image of the police and government signs "reminding" men that bothering women is problematic. I won't bother to link it. You must've seen it a dozen times by now. If that's not messaging being promoted by institutions and authorities, I don't know what you think is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:59 PM |
| 4 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menTelling the truth is fine. Difficult to hear, sometimes, as you say. Sure. What's not fine is being exposed to excessive amounts of tired hostility and gleeful expressions of your inferiority and hopelessness. Or bad contextless advice which pays no attention whatsoever to the existing situation in which many or most of the things being suggested are already being undertaken. Get a shower, wear nice clothes, put yourself out there. Great. But now what? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:58 PM |
| 5 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menYou tell me. The result is the same though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:35 PM |
| 4 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menBut you don't know that woman in the library or the café (and many women say that's unacceptable anyway). Like I said, that's the missing step. You don't know if that woman in the library wants to speak to you or not, it's not a one-on-one situation until you make it one, and that requires her consent/participation (which you don't know is forthcoming). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:34 PM |
| 5 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menQuite a lot of women are, and significant societal forces on their behalf. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:32 PM |
| 9 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menYou can just do it anyway and the vast majority will not care. That's not what powerful social movements, institutions, and authorities say (or strongly imply by their attitudes towards men's needs and behaviours). Who should they trust more to give them advice which won't result in problematic consequences? Whose messaging seems more authoritative and reliable? The loud women online/media/authority figures/institutions/government/police, or... you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:31 PM |
| 2 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menBecause they may not struggle with the most basic, low level, and "easy" social interaction. They may just be a lot better at it when they're comfortable with a person, when that person has effectively given permission to interact with them by encouraging or reciprocating, or when it's a one on one meeting designed explicitly to create a context in which he can concentrate on her and in which he is permitted to act more openly. In many cases (although I agree that "introvert" does not equal "soc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:22 PM |
| 8 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menBecause you're half of society and I presume you want society to run smoothly, continuing to provide resources, safety, security, and opportunity. You therefore have a responsibility to contribute to its fair and healthy functioning. If you wish to neglect, exclude, disregard, shame, insult, and heap all responsibility on men (even though dating is a cooperative pursuit), you're free to do that, but you cannot complain if the results are not to your liking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:09 PM |
| 5 | Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted menThis advice isn't meant to hurt you That's not the salve you think it should be. If I were to say that women should dress in whatever was I prescribe in order to not get assaulted, or if I told them to stay at home to avoid exposing themselves to men who could hurt them, I might be doing so with the full intention to save them from being attacked. But you'd still tell me I'm being very unfair, sexist, controlling, patriarchal, and oppressive. Women would see that as being unreasonably critical o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Everybody might be somewhat hyperbolic, but a majority of interactions being negative is sufficient to quality. Most importantly during important fundamental developmental periods. Me, personally? Yes, I was diagnosed with autism (or Asperger's Syndrome, specifically, which is/was a very high functioning category of autism). But what did far more damage to me, I'm quite sure, was the reactions I got to being "somewhat unusual". Bullying, teachers not understanding a need for support, parental ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 07:58 AM |
| 2 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?There are absolutely superficial assholes out there, but not every person thinks and feels that way. Right, but you have to get the chance to become close enough to somebody to show that. If, for example, somebody is incredibly loyal, caring, interesting, funny, romantic, and so on, but they also happen to be autistic, that initial impression is far more likely to land them in the "no" zone. They'll experience that over and over and over again, no matter how much better their underlying personal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 07:01 AM |
| 3 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?You don't seem to understand just how miserable some men's experience is. We're not talking "got turned down a couple of times in high school", we're talking universal messaging from multiple angles (family, peers, love interests, being underserved or experiencing significant amounts of sexism by institutions and authorities, and being negatively misrepresented in media). You can't just "work on that" because it's not something that you're doing to yourself. It's a combination of relentless nega… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/24 06:49 AM |
| – | People can't blame men for the " procedure" of dating when it wouldn't exist without their actionsI've never heard that opinion expressed, but one theory I could suggest is that men could still "spoil" a woman with gifts and expensive meals and exquisite jewellery yet still "treat" them in a way which western gender politics would frown upon, such as restricting their personal freedoms in deciding what to wear or where they go in public, or forbidding them from education or employment. Clearly that's a judgement the reader would have to make, as to whether that's an appropriate trade-off or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 11:29 PM |
| 8 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?We don't expect you to fix it, we expe... I mean we want you to acknowledge it. We want it to be understood that this can happen to a person, not because of what a person did. We want it to be understood that it doesn't make us "entitled" misogynists. We want people to know that we're hurting and that's why we might not be at our best. Most of all, we want people to know that we could be so much better, if we had the people in our lives (including a partner) to support us, encourage us, prove to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 10:10 PM |
| 8 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Right, so that's a "no" then, you're not going to make any attempt to empathise, despite having been through similar situations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 10:04 PM |
| 3 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?The numbers aren't the solution to the need to feel love, they're a mathematical solution to increasing the likelihood that you'll meet a person who is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 10:04 PM |
| 10 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Maybe so, but are you going to actually acknowledge that you understand the thought process, or is your stance "I don't care, not my problem, sort your shit out"? Because if it's the latter then you're the reason these guys are like this in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 10:00 PM |
| 1 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Most of mine actually attempt to engage with the subjects at hand, not needlessly bash women just because they're women and that somehow means I'd have something to prove about them. Was it unnecessary? Possibly. Do I think you're harming the level of discourse by injecting sexist accusations for no good reason? Yes. That's why I pointed it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:58 PM |
| 2 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?But I'm not saying "be with somebody for the sake of being with someone", I'm saying I want to be in a relationship where that means something. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:57 PM |
| 3 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?But I don't want to be alone. That's the whole point. I want to feel, that's the massive hole in my life, my self, my experience of the world: not nearly enough feeling. I can push buttons on computers as much as I like, as a hobby and as a job, but no matter how much I accomplish doing that it can't even come close to the experience of bonding with and being comfortable around other people. Even platonically, but especially intimately. I refuse to give up that journey because why the hell else … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:26 PM |
| 13 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?There's only a certain amount that she can do, part of the effort is on him, in the same way as if the genders are flipped. See, women here say "you say you're a nice guy, we don't know you're a nice guy, you could be the lying fake nice guy who just wants sex and is going to ghost us or beat us tomorrow". This is the same thing. You could reassure us all day long, but if you're secretly an abuser, well, why shouldn't we be aware of that possibility, right? You can still act reassuringly, though… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:15 PM |
| 3 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?If that's your metric then men often FEEL too. But it's futile, as you presumably know (judging by what you just said), if there's nobody to reciprocate it. Doesn't matter how many crushes or feelings of lust or instances of love at first sight you have if nobody ever returns the sentiment, does it? So, per the OP, what do you do in that situation? If you want to overcome that then you have to somehow understand, without the benefit of personal experience (or, often, adequate explanations from o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:07 PM |
| 11 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?No, I'm not saying the behaviour is (necessarily) healthy (although some amount of awareness and self-preservation is), what I'm doing is explaining how the thought process might occur. Doesn't mean that such a person should hit the ejector seat button, they should try (again, without being delusional to the point of exposing themselves to unnecessary levels of potential harm and abuse) to seek reasons why it will work rather than reasons why it won't. But you have to understand where they're co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:01 PM |
| 5 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Well, that comes from a privileged position of being given the opportunity to do that. Which is very hard to come by if, when prospective partners look at you, they see "boring awkward inexperienced uncharismatic non-entity" or, worse, "creepy, misogynistic, likely abuser" (even if that's a snap judgement based on nothing but a momentary - and perhaps unjustifed - feeling of "something's not quite right about him"). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:55 PM |
| 14 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?If she picked you, why question it? Because people aren't perfect and, especially if you've experienced it a lot in life, you know that people will willingly hurt you. Isn't this something that women say, all the time, in recounting all the stories of terrible ex-partners and using that to justify being aggressively antisocial towards men they think might do the same? We know people cheat. We know people ditch partners for more exciting prospects. We know people get bored. We know people change.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:49 PM |
| 22 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?If that's a rare situation for you to be in, and you've had little or no positive experience of sex and relationships before, yes, potentially so. Let's say, for example, that you're 40 years old. You've never been intimate with a woman, you've frequently experienced rejection, bullying, negative social interactions, social isolation. That's not going to make you feel very valuable, is it? You've spent 25 years as a sexually capable human being, watching people around you easily just stumble bli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:40 PM |
| 4 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?I'm not sure it'd do much good if you did, because the sentiment of the argument she used is more or less "get used to women not wanting you, loser, go fuck some dudes, because that's all you're ever going to get, you're not worthy of pussy". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:20 PM |
| 17 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Combine that with seeing most of your buddies in the same boat and you'll start to feel like you're all competing for the same extremely scarce 'unicorns'. Or, if your friends do all have partners (or frequently find new ones, even if it doesn't stick) then you're left feeling like you're just intrinsically crap and destined to never have a partner of your own. Which is especially problematic when you've got no buddies left to hang out with either, because they're all hanging out with their part… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:15 PM |
| 34 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?People that think their partner would leave them for someone “better” don’t understand the romantic and emotional connection you can form by getting to know a person. Why would they believe that they're good enough if they've always been treated as though they're not? How can you have confidence that anything about you is attractive enough for a woman to stick around for if all you've experienced is rejection and women avoiding you, or sneering at you, or embarrassing you, or insulting you? How … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?I'm all about personal feelings, that's the entire reason I want a relationship. I don't want to think about these things as transactional. But as a perpetually single autistic man with a history of being abused and no clear path to resolving the lack of personal and intimate relationships, I can't help but be very aware that people want what they want and don't what they don't. So, if I expect to change that situation, I have to be aware of what those things are. Which is why the current sociop… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Male suicide rate has jumped in the UKThe contrast between a good and bad therapist is stark. But that's a problem in itself and it's potentially good reason not to want to go to one in the first place. You don't know who's good or bad, or right for you or not right for you, and going to the wrong one (and especially several wrong ones in succession) could push you over the edge. When you're struggling, anxious, depressed, potentionally broke, that's not the time to be told "well, if you just spend the next few years constantly rest… | /r/MensRights | 26/02/24 02:37 AM |
| 1 | Male suicide rate has jumped in the UKIf you have any and they're not exploitative harmful scumbags. Friends don't grow on trees (and that may be one of the issues you're trying to reach out to talk about in the first place) and my family are 99% of the reasons I've suffered immensely practically my entire life and why I couldn't rehabilitate my life early enough to have a healthy one. YMMV, if you've got healthy resources there, of course, use them. But not everybody has them. | /r/MensRights | 26/02/24 02:33 AM |
| 1 | Male suicide rate has jumped in the UKI never said it was a solution but no communication is worse. If it's GOOD communication, yes. If it's bad communication then it can make things much worse. | /r/MensRights | 26/02/24 02:30 AM |
| 2 | Male suicide rate has jumped in the UKI remember the CEO of CALM saying “the answer is simple: Talk about it” and I lost all respect for the (feminist-run) organisation. Indeed. I've tried talking to services like that three times now. (You can skip this bit to expedite getting to a more general point if you like, it's a list of my experiences with trying to seek help. It's included as relevant to the issue but may not be particularly engaging and I'm aware this is a very long comment.) The first, all I got was essentially a link to… | /r/MensRights | 26/02/24 02:13 AM |
| – | If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn.My point was not whether somebody should or shouldn't watch porn, it was that I can simultaneously believe that I wouldn't want my partner being involved in producing it but have so few options to keep myself sexually and mentally healthy (or as close as I can manage) that I still consume it, even if I'd rather not, given a practical alternative. It's not what I want. Never has been. It's not fulfilling, I want emotional intimacy, I want a relationship. Porn doesn't do that. But given I have lit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 01:32 AM |
| 14 | Guys and watching pornI'm not sure that's true, because some porn personalities/content creators despise their consumers. They can simultaneously think OnlyFans good (because they get paid) and porn bad (because they see those who consume it as disgusting low-life losers). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 01:22 AM |
| – | If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn.Needs must. If I had a partner to express my natural drives with then I wouldn't need porn, would I? What do you expect me to do, pretend I have no sexual desires? Gatekeeping sexual exploration, are we? Besides, I prefer solo material. Why would I want to watch a man who isn't me trying to hammer drill a woman's vagina to oblivion? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 01:17 AM |
| 3 | RIP to Japan, you guys had a good runI’ve been a social worker for almost 10 years Why do you think your job even exists? Because people, whether through their own faults or otherwise, end up in bad situations they need help getting out of. That happens. That's why you're employed doing what you do. So why don't you acknowledge that when it comes to socialising and relationships/sex? Being unwanted isn’t an abuse people don’t have to like you, that is just unfortunate. Also if people don’t like you there is usually a reason for it.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 10:33 PM |
| 1 | Can men just not be loved for who they actually are?Why do men expect women to have positive feelings towards them as a whole Because any human, in a world where other humans have positive social and romantic/sexual interactions, would generally wonder why the hell they're so different. Increasingly, men are starting to arrive at the conclusion that it's because women are selfish demanding shallow parasites both personally and societally. Why wouldn't they, when mainstream media and powerful institutions focus entirely on women's issues and how m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 10:04 PM |
| 3 | As long as men have to face the majority if rejections in dating, most men won’t be able to empathize in a way that women want or expectYeah, what you said. They'd have you running around finding "evidence" for them all day long and even if you came back with a shipping container full of the stuff they'd still just walk away and ignore you or argue every single one of the examples don't count. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 10:01 PM |
| 4 | If personality is so important, why wont women fall for their male friends more?But that doesn't have to have been the case for it to be interpreted that way, either by the woman herself or by commenters in spaces like this. If it's rhetorically beneficial to brand the guy a creep, he'll be branded a creep, no matter how respectful he was or how much he cared about her as a legitimate friend before that point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:19 PM |
| 6 | Do most women really prefer to use online dating and social media as the means to select potential men over being approached in real life?My first suggestion would be to start going to places where people are actively looking to hookup. Like clubs, parties, festivals etc. If you’re striking out in even those environments, then you obviously have a lot of work to do on making yourself more attractive. So... "be an attractive confident extrovert who is comfortable with highly sexualised environments" then. I mean, if that's essentially what you're saying (and it appears to me that it is) then I won't disagree with your logic because… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:17 PM |
| 4 | If personality is so important, why wont women fall for their male friends more?Then I would think it's rather curious that there's an ongoing narrative here that men who try to get with female friends were never interested in being friends in the first place and were trying to manipulate their way into her pants. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:10 PM |
| 3 | Do most women really prefer to use online dating and social media as the means to select potential men over being approached in real life?It's less than ideal, sure, and I've never done it (and I have no intention of doing it), but what then? It's fine to say in isolation that it's inefficient, often ineffective, often inconvenient, unwanted, risky, and so on in a vacuum, but you have to see it in context. If the context is "I get no replies on the apps" and "women say you're not allowed to ask them out at school/at work/in hobby groups/etc", then... then what...? Everything is "no, don't do that, we don't like it, it's wrong and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:00 PM |
| 3 | Can men just not be loved for who they actually are?Your "argument", such as it is, is no more substantive or constructive than the men who argue that women are sluts and deserve nothing more than to be considered "cum dumpsters". You can either take that on board and try to actually engage with the subject or you can continue doing what you're doing. But if you choose the latter, you are every misogynist's justification for saying things you don't like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 07:51 PM |
| 11 | As long as men have to face the majority if rejections in dating, most men won’t be able to empathize in a way that women want or expectThere have been plenty of comments from women here talking about men in their lives who "don't even wash their ass" as an indication of how disgusting men are and why they don't think men deserve any credit or understanding when they struggle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 07:46 PM |
| 9 | Can men just not be loved for who they actually are?Those men don’t love those women, they just want sex. They could care less about her personality as long as she offers up what’s between her legs. Your rhetoric serves no useful purpose in this discussion. You have decided on an ideological tribal position and no amount of logic or understanding or even compromise is going to result in you providing mature and considered input. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Can men just not be loved for who they actually are?But the standard isn't (or rather it shouldn't be) "awesome", it should be "normal". You say (fairly, I agree) that men should not be loved for being men because some of those men are shitty people (much like there are shitty women) and so don't deserve that love. Cool. OK. But being a man has nothing to do with it. They weren't expecting to be loved because they were born with a penis but because they're a normal sensible non-violent and broadly respectful human being with normal natural desire… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 07:35 PM |
| 2 | RIP to Japan, you guys had a good runfeeding people negativity when they likely already have a lot of self doubt doesn’t help it actually enables them to continue down pathways that are not working. Your thought processes set them up for certain failure rather than potential success. But that's probably how they got into that position in the first place. Not because they logged on and started reading discussions about pills or whatever, no, that comes later, after they've already been exposed to failure, neglect, abuse, and hopeles… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Do you feel like a lot of redpill or jaded men have undiagnosed neuro conditions?Indeed. One of the largest conclusions I've come to, now as an older man with more insight, maturity, and independence, is that the treatment I received socially and in my family for having odd behaviours early on did far more damage to me than the Asperger's Syndrome ever did. Right now I'm living alone, paying my own rent, with a job I got from finally getting my degree. So why, for the 15 years of adulthood prior to getting to that place, had I been treated as a clueless and inconvenient inva… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 06:26 PM |
| 2 | Let’s talk about incelsHey, sorry, had read this and put it aside until I could formulate a suitably thoughtful response, and then forgot... Sorry to hear you've been through similarly unfortunate circumstances. This is why I struggled to come up with a response on the spot, because I agree with and understand most of what you wrote and I didn't feel I had enough of substance to respond with. Thank you for the offer to lend a listening ear. What kind of people are your type? You're a lot more extroverted and outwardly… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/24 06:17 PM |
| 2 | Do you feel like a lot of redpill or jaded men have undiagnosed neuro conditions?Acting professional isn't masking up. Yes it is, in various ways. If your natural reaction to something going wrong is "fuck, it's fucking fucked, fuck sake!" and you can't/don't say that in a professional environment, even though you want to, that's you not being authentic. If you have a call centre or administrative job and you change your affect in telephone calls to sound more appropriate for that circumstance, even if you find it an irritating chore to present yourself as a face of the comp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 05:50 PM |
| 2 | Stress and Eu-stressSame thing with Williamson too. He's been on two nationally televised dating/reality shows that revolve around being attractive, he's jacked, he has the looks of a man you'd never imagine ever getting rejected, he has almost 2 million subscribers on YouTube, and he's recently started doing in-person presentations/talks/whatever. No shit he gets to sit there and say "men are weak losers who just aren't trying and who run away at the slightest hardship". He doesn't have to deal with living that li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 05:21 PM |
| 0 | RIP to Japan, you guys had a good runWell, why would women be doing something that developmentally challenged men want? They're developmentally challenged, often unwanted, and most women would write them off as not only unattractive but also delusional for demanding that the women change for the developmentally challenged men. That's like offering somebody $10,000 for a $50,000 car, getting turned down, and then doubling down by saying "OK, how about I give you $10,000, you give me the car, and you also throw in a full tank of fuel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 05:12 PM |
| 3 | RIP to Japan, you guys had a good runDemand for bbl & breast implants is partially driven by developmentally disabled men I'm not sure I see the justification for putting the blame for that on developmentally challenged men. There are plenty of "normal" men out there who go nuts for gigantic tits and "dicksucker lips". I, on the other hand, as a mature but inexperienced autistic man, prefer something much more modestly proportioned. Sure, I'm not every developmentally disabled man, there may be some who share a preference for overs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 04:39 PM |
| 5 | Let’s talk about incelsI agree with your assessment of what it feels like and what it can cause to happen, but I can't get entirely on board with your solutions. Building men up and giving them something to strive for personally I do think is very important. You're right, it shouldn't be all about finding a partner, there should be more to life, there should be other goals, and those goals may improve your ability to find a partner later should you wish to. We should be supporting men, as a society, so that as many me… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/24 01:37 PM |
| 6 | Let’s talk about incelsIt doesn't need to be simply telling them to man up, to be more assertive, to be more aggressive, to be more confident. That's useless, I agree. Well, not entirely useless, because it's more than some people get, which is told that they should be less of those things to the benefit of women/society, as the top level commenter pointed out. But, no, that's not it. What it should be is an environment where they can better learn, through living it, that they can and should be confident, assertive, s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/24 01:18 PM |
| 8 | Let’s talk about incels"yikes! what women definitely don't find attractive is your sadness, go out there and do it all over again champ!" Not only that, but in the process completely crush any sense of importance your own mental health has. You're expected to never feel it, never mention it, never express it in any way and you're effectively told that the women's perception of any situation is of paramount importance. Her preferences and desires are relevant, yours are not. Her feelings and observations are relevant, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/24 12:55 PM |
| 5 | Let’s talk about incelsThat commenter isn't entirely wrong (or necessarily entirely right either). It would be an incorrect assertion to make that any one man is always going to be all three of the people you described. But you absolutely can progress through stages. I'll add in a stage zero here, just to establish that men don't need to be mentally ill or obnoxious freaks. They may initially just be shy, or underdeveloped, "late bloomers" and the like. Didn't get to be part of the cool kids in school, didn't really g… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/02/24 12:45 PM |
| 1 | Q4W what is the root cause of men's dating complaints?There were kids being called losers, freaks, nerds, swots, teachers pets, fatties, spotty, specky, four-eyes, and so on long before the internet existed or was available to any but the highly technical early adopters. There were also plenty of solo pursuits one could have when friends were a rarity, many have been mocked over the years. Butterfly collectors for being soft and weak for liking pretty, delicate creatures. Stamp collectors for being inconceivably boring. Train spotters for being so … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 11:45 AM |
| 4 | Q4W what is the root cause of men's dating complaints?Classic red pillers. "I don't want any of the blame for the bad things men do, but I would like all the credit." That might be a valid argument if any credit were given for the infinite good things (many) men do alongside the few bad things (few) men do. But it's not because it's not. Nobody says "some men are absolute criminal shitbags but a male doctor also saved my life, male scientists and technology experts invented the stuff that makes the iPhone that I can't be without work, and men toile… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 11:18 AM |
| 2 | Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarityHowever, you literally took the smallest step possible to seek help and gave up at the first inconvenience. This does not qualify as 'seeking help' in any meaningful way because 'seeking' implies continued effort. You have to try to succeed. "Fuck you for expecting a medical professional to guide you to the necessary treatment as a person who was presenting with potentially serious mental health problems". If I gave you the response you deserved for saying that I wouldn't be saying another word … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 09:30 PM |
| 2 | Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarityExpand. Your saying you went to mental health professionals about depression and received these responses? Or just a doctor. Also, it should matter, but it does, was this on a military base? Not a military base. General practice doctor. Because that's typically the first port of call, even if they can't help you they're supposed to refer you to somebody who can. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 09:06 PM |
| 8 | Let’s talk about incelsYeah, but what's happened to society during... approximately the exact same timeframe between when she came up with it and now? Women have had support thrown at them like it's as essential a provision as water and men have been increasingly vilified, distrusted, insulted, shamed, and left to rot. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/02/24 08:56 PM |
| 5 | Let’s talk about incelsCheers to that. 🍻 No, but seriously, that's an experience I can relate to. It is easy to try and escape with booze, it does free you up to be you, to be more free-flowing and to worry less. You're right though, it can become an unhealthy crutch, and it can also get you too far into not caring and you end up looking like an idiot or a douche. Plus when you wake up in the morning the next few days are going to be hell because your anxiety's gone into overdrive like a super-hangover, even after the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/02/24 08:53 PM |
| 7 | Let’s talk about incelsI don't call myself an incel, although I share certain developmental/social/relationship issues with many who do, but I'd like to expand your list a bit. Of the three, I would belong to group one. But I'm not the typical basement-dwelling one-track-mind bland blob you speak of. I know, I know, "you would say that", but really. I've had friends, I enjoy going out drinking, I've been to plenty of pubs and clubs, I like talking, being social, having conversations, exploring topics, making jokes, ha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/02/24 08:45 PM |
| 3 | Let’s talk about incelsDid I say I'm actually suggesting going back to the horror of large-scale warfare everywhere? No, although I think the reason for the response is that somebody needs to come up with a good alternative. I don't think you're wrong about warfare putting certain limits on dynamics which might now be proving to be an issue, but - although I understand why you didn't or can't (and shouldn't necessarily be expected to) provide that answer yourself - the response that wouldn't have been downvoted might'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/02/24 08:32 PM |
| 3 | Let’s talk about incelsWhat would constitute a normalised culture? What would a culture with strong sexual norms and morality look like? Well... It'd start with popular mass appeal platforms like YouTube and Twitch not promoting thumbnails of clear clickbait and sexual content. It wouldn't feel inclined to shoehorn romances and sex scenes into TV shows and movies like it's a fundamental ingredient for the content to even exist. It wouldn't glamourise and publish photos of hot half-dressed celebrities on the front of m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/02/24 08:27 PM |
| 3 | For Anyone Feeling Lonely.You sound like someone who doesn’t want to put in the work. Yeah, OK, so you tell my ass that when I'm sitting in my own place, after a day at a respectable job, which I got with my degree. Oh, wait. I am! After managing to survive 30 years of a broke toxic violent home and school bullying from practically day one until the day I left with fuck-all qualifications because of the hostility from peers and teachers, whilst being autistic and depressed, I think I know what fucking adversity looks lik… | /r/MensRights | 23/02/24 08:04 PM |
| 3 | Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarityMy buddies wife is essentially a school therapist in California. She was hired to help all these boys. However, the last 5 years she has been horrifically swamped with gender confused assholes and has entirely abandoned the kids who actually need help... and the top down mandate is to focus on the gender nutjobs above all else. That ties in with some of the stuff I was thinking. For my diagnosis we're talking 25 years ago, so all this TikTok diagnosis shit hadn't happened yet, they just didn't s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarityThey are on reddit because this is stuff they can't say to people they interact with in real life. Yup, absolutely. It's just considered whining, concerning, self-centred, or boring. If anybody does listen, they'll find 5 platitudes to throw at you and then blame you for being an ungrateful lazy piece of shit full of excuses to not try, even though they haven't taken into account any of your actual issues. I think that's partially because therapists are full of shit on a lot of topics. I could l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 07:18 PM |
| 4 | Are people with autism, on the spectrum, more likely to be asexual than people without autism, on the spectrum are?I'd consider myself to be in a similar position, although weirdly I think I was probably quite slow to be ready for it. Not that I was absent of desire or the ability and understanding of what, where, and how, but... well, it's quite difficult to explain without TMI or sounding as though it took me 20 extra years to hit puberty, because that's not what I'm trying to say. Essentially, I feel like it took me until my 30s (possibly due to both inexperience and a highly oppressive living situation m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 11:15 AM |
| 5 | Are people with autism, on the spectrum, more likely to be asexual than people without autism, on the spectrum are?There's a bunch of issues to consider here because people with autism are not all the same. There will be different experiences and occurrences of symptoms, for example: Some may be asexual (not necessarily related to autism) Some may be touch averse (they may want sex but find touch overstimulating or invasive) Some may be touch starved (which may be true even if touch averse, in that they want to be touched but find the sensation unpleasant, but others may also crave it and enjoy it but rarely… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 10:53 AM |
| 2 | Are people with autism, on the spectrum, more likely to be asexual than people without autism, on the spectrum are?I'd expect in those with typical or higher sex drives, the (much) higher likelihood of being perpetually single would lead to higher frustration, if nothing else. But that wouldn't tell you much about the actual numbers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 10:46 AM |
| 4 | Are people with autism, on the spectrum, more likely to be asexual than people without autism, on the spectrum are?Yeah, but when half the women on Reddit describe themselves as "ace", who could even tell? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 10:45 AM |
| 2 | Are people with autism, on the spectrum, more likely to be asexual than people without autism, on the spectrum are?Technically you could still have (very very) mild autistic traits but not be officially diagnosable with the condition because it's not sufficient to tick enough boxes. Although in most cases that should probably mean that it's not obvious or prevalent enough in your life to be too much of an actual problem and you should be able to lead a pretty normal life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 10:44 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?There is a distinction to be made. My point is that I don't care that she's not a millionaire (or even that she makes as much as I do). I have no interest in how much she's "worth" financially. It becomes an issue if I'm relying on her to pay her way in order that we could live together, but nobody said we had to. If she's got her own living arrangements then I'm quite happy to live apart/she'd just be here as a guest sometimes. The comment above was just thinking out loud about what (comparativ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 10:40 AM |
| 6 | For Anyone Feeling Lonely.What I did say was if you believe it's going to hard, then it probably will be. Well, yes. But that doesn't make the inverse true, that if you just believe it's easy, that all the difficulty was in your head the whole time, that it really is easy. I'm going to have to come down somewhere between you and u/Mat_WhateverSilva. I applaud your efforts, we do sometimes need more positivity and encouragement, but I also agree with what they said about toxic positivity. You can be positive and encouragi… | /r/MensRights | 23/02/24 01:22 AM |
| 1 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Are we talking about Lilith, Sharp_enfineering, or feminism in general here? In any case I completely agree, just wanted to be clear lol. All of the above, now that you mention it. Although in this specific case I meant Sharp. I won't say that women have 0 attempt to understand men's perspective, because there are a rare few precious ones who do, so it's clearly not impossible, it's just that the vast majority of women can't be bothered to do it. I appreciate the few who do (there's been the occ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 08:30 PM |
| 3 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.What I suspect the logic is, if I'm giving them full benefit of the doubt, is that any man who claims to be or behaves as though they're being nice is considered to be putting on an act. Because the ones they've fallen for in the past, the charismatic fake nice guys, have taught them that men don't care and any appearance of niceness is a facade that will eventually fall away and the true nature of man will once again reveal itself. Completely failing to understand, of course, that most of the g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 08:15 PM |
| 8 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.I imagine they were thinking of the charming asshole who knows what to do and say to get a woman in his life, practically on command, and then turns out to be an uncaring, arrogant, controlling, potentially violent douchebag. Not the guy who's shy, timid, inexperienced, wants to give to women rather than take from them, but doesn't know how to add the necessary spice to make that sound at all exciting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 08:01 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Yeah. I just said to her in another comment that she's not talking about how it is, rather how she wants it to be. There's zero attempt to see the male perspective, none whatsoever. She expects men to be telepathic before even considering a sexual (or presumably romantic) relationship, to never need to practice or learn along the way before approaching "the one" who will actually say yes, and for all the talk of understanding and caring about the other person's experience of such an interaction … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 07:42 PM |
| 5 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.I don't even know what point that was trying to make, other than (once again) your typical assumption that there's an underlying intention to disregard consent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 07:27 PM |
| 3 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.You're still assuming that: a) The guy knows she doesn't want it b) The guy doesn't care that she doesn't want it c) The guy is going to continue pursuing it regardless Which is precisely what I was pointing out. You start from the position of "you're probably an asshole" and... well, that's it. You won't be moved. But you've already made that decision and you express it by either implicitly or explicitly pointing out, constantly, that men who are discussing having issues with loneliness and/or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 07:21 PM |
| 3 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.You don't get to play against top-tier tennis aces at Wimbledon just by showing up, you have to earnt it. Much like a good relationship, that would be a life-defining moment, an achievement, something to feel exceptionally good about and remember for the rest of your life. Which is quite different from somebody at the tennis club casually giving you a game because fuck it, you're there, and whatever. That's a throwaway nothing event that you probably won't remember in a month, never mind a decad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 07:06 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.It’s only annoying and objecting when a man wants it at her expense. In the context of this sub and these discussions, that quite often means "any man who is speaking". Because you (women who try to take that stance) frequently assign those selfish motives where they were not held by the man speaking. They're spoken about as the default and men are rarely given an opportunity to correct the record. Once the decision has been made, that's it, he's a selfish "entitled" asshole forever, likely viol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:56 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.It’s not a reward at all, it’s a mutually beneficial, mutually enjoyable activity, by design. It's odd, then, that you and many other women here should be so insistent that men are trying to take something from women when they express interest in having a sexual relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:46 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?I don't think you quite understand how starved some men are for attention that, even though you think this is some kind of "nope, nope, nope, nope, model or nothing" situation, they would be fucking overjoyed to have the attention and affection of an "average" woman, imperfections and all. For what it's worth, I'm one of them. Your checklist means nothing to me. If you'd said "500lb, no teeth, permanent whole-body rashes, and her face looks like she had an industrial farming accident", well, the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:20 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?It would provide that lifestyle for both partners where neither of them alone could afford it, because now you're pooling resources, sharing costs, and only paying once for basic stuff that would need to be paid for twice if you both lived alone. I don't want relationships based on financial arrangements but it's a practical outcome of being able to double the household income but only increasing costs by maybe 50%. That means you can both go out together and eat in nicer places, go to nicer bar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:12 PM |
| 6 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Then it's a good job nobody said it was. Try again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:00 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?Only to the extent that she's not going to cost $20k a year to have as a partner and not contribute anything back. Living ain't cheap these days (if it ever was, but it's harder now than it was 20 years ago) and housing is often priced for earning couples, not earning singles. "Can support herself" might even be far below average wage, if she's frugal and sensible about it. It's pragmatic rather than aspirational or gold-digging. That's the difference. I think if I were to continue living how I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 05:48 PM |
| 7 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?It seems to be playing off the god-awful and incredibly tired stereotype that men who are complaining are incompetent lazy manchildren who would expect a partner to be a horny hot surrogate mother. Otherwise there was no need to mention "lives in [their] mom's basement" or "plays video games all day". Those things were crowbarred in to paint a picture, create a "gotcha" trap, and to reinforce the idea that women are never as shitty and useless as men (especially men who discuss these issues here… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 05:28 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?Yes. Although if it were a serious long-term thing where we'd be living together and/or our finances would be officially entwined then I would expect that she has the capability and intention to work towards fixing being broke because, as much as I'd like to be able to support a partner, that's not financially viable in the current economic climate unless you're earning an exceptional wage. But since this question appears to be based yet again on the flawed premise that we're all stinking baseme… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 05:19 PM |
| 9 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Which is a kick in the nuts if you happen to think treating other people with respect is a good thing and it feels unpleasant to even attempt to do otherwise. I keep trying to highlight that the feminist "no, don't hit on women, ever, and even admitting you want to be with one is objectification and harassment" messaging is just destroying a lot of good men. I do happen to be a man who believes in treating women, and people in general, with respect (unless given good reason to do otherwise) and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 03:33 PM |
| 5 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.What does this have to do with the problem of dehumanizing half the human population? It doesn't, but the only person here who's trying to make it about that is you. What's that people often say? If it stinks of shit everywhere you go, check your shoes? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:55 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Welcome to the world of a person without relationships. There are fundamental and important aspects of intimacy (emotional as well as physical, and non-sexual as well as sexual physical intimacy) missing from that person's life. To such a degree that they would tolerate unhealthy and abusive relationships simply to gain even the most flawed or minimal experiences of them. To be able to choose is a privileged position. Not having them at all is not an option for most because that can be highly ps… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:42 PM |
| 6 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Seeing women and sex as rewards Once more for those at the back: being granted the company of a person you enjoy being with is a reward, much as being denied the company of a person you enjoy being with is a punishment (if, for example, you did something to hurt them). It does not imply ownership or objectification or abuse. It simply means that you enjoy that experience and the company of that person and that you therefore prefer to behave in ways which allow you to experience that pleasant eng… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:31 PM |
| 5 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.At the end of the day, the desirable men get the sex, doesn't matter how I feel or think about it. When you put it like that, the women here who can't stand asshole men and the men here who are staring into the abyss of eternal misery should really agree on this. Because neither of us like what's happening and it doesn't matter what either group thinks about it, albeit for slightly different (but interconnected) reasons, if the results continue in favour of those problematic abusers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:26 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.Well, cheers to that. 🍻 If the soldiers in WWI could have a Christmas game of football, I think I can live with this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:19 PM |
| 4 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.That doesn't appear to even remotely resemble what they said. Men who are receiving intimacy are, objectively, doing the right thing to achieve that. Even if they're acting like assholes. It doesn't have to be morally good to accomplish the end goal and nothing you say otherwise will change that. They're doing something which results in their achievement of a fundamental human experience required, in most cases, for positive mental health. Cause and effect. Do something, result happens, result i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:13 PM |
| 14 | Any man that sees women and sex as rewards is automatically an entitled misogynist.How do you think behaviour works? You do something and there are typically three potential outcomes; positive, negative, and neutral: Neutral has no benefit but also does not discourage. You may keep doing whatever got you that outcome, if you see any reason to. Negative may provide benefit but that benefit is accompanied by equal or greater unpleasant consequences (personal/psychological, health, financial, social, legal). Positive may provide negative side-effects but they are accompanied by e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 01:55 PM |
| 6 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.Appreciate the kind words, thanks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 09:28 AM |
| 7 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.It’s good to be bold but not toooooo bold. Yeah, although that's a difficult tightrope to walk when the middle-ground you have to hit may be very narrow, constantly moving, and ever more subject to repercussions if you get it wrong. The only people who don't care about that, such that they can reliably break those rules, are either people who know they'll receive favourable responses (ie: popular, successful people) or those who give so little of a shit about other people that they'll say and do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 02:00 AM |
| 5 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.Edit: That’s why men who live in the wilderness or in unsafe environments have an easier time showcasing their masculinity without defaulting to asshole behavior. They can chop down lumber 🪵 or build a house or hunt or fish or protect their lady from raiding rebels or wolves all while not compromising their ethics. Which I'm sure would've been much easier hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands of years ago, when we more commonly lived in tribes or small villages with far more manual trades. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 01:54 AM |
| 3 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.He doesn't have to be "entitled", it only takes a woman to assume or accuse him and there's no functional difference. His intentions are irrelevant. His behaviour is... well, it's not irrelevant, but it's certainly not the whole story. What matters in discussions and social situations now is what she thinks he is, or did, or believes. Not only on a one-to-one or small group level, but on a national and even international level. Institutions, governments, charities and activism lobbyists. It's al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 01:48 AM |
| 13 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.The thing is, being ignored/rejected/ostracised for being mildly socially awkward (which might be anything from "shy" to "slightly autistic" to "abused at home") will quite often cause the snowballing failure to overcome it because nobody will give them an opportunity to become more comfortable and capable in doing so. If the bullies and the jocks and the tall guys get all the attention and the nerds are ridiculed and left out of socialising, it should be no surprise that those nerds are going t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 01:26 AM |
| 8 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.But that's a pointless thing to say, because in doing so you disregard that even though some may be having sex there are going to be plenty who are not. You're just sweeping the problem under the carpet by saying "well, this smart guy has a wife, so I don't see what the problem is". A higher rate of sexlessness still indicates a problem within that demographic and it still means that more men within it are going to struggle than they would otherwise. It's no consolation to them that one lucky ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 01:19 AM |
| – | Immaturity is a bigger problem with guys than they think.Then I have no idea how one can’t cope with dating struggles if they have experience struggling elsewhere. Because most of those other things can be done solo, completely unilaterally. Sports? Keep throwing/kicking/hitting that ball. Go play with a ball launcing machine in a practice net. Go to the gym. Go to the sports facility. Learn ball control tricks to improve coordination. Experiment with sports equipment to learn what works best for you. Games? Play endless rounds against the computer, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 10:02 PM |
| – | Immaturity is a bigger problem with guys than they think.It's also basic biology that you eat and shit everyday Yes, in order that you live long enough and are healthy enough to reproduce. You can assign any other meaning you like to life, but that's the only one that nature gives any kind of a shit about. That's why your body grows to be what it is, why it seeks those experiences and finds pleasure in them, why it's even capable of producing and participating in the combining of reproductive cells. It's the closest thing we've got to an actual purpos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 09:38 PM |
| – | Immaturity is a bigger problem with guys than they think.Well dating is optional Relationships are not, for most people, "optional" if you wish to retain any semblance of positive mental health. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 09:20 PM |
| – | Immaturity is a bigger problem with guys than they think.Dating is unlike virtually anything else in life in that there is no correlation between how much effort you put into it and how much you improve at it. Worse than that, actively trying (and not playing that down so it's not obvious) is perceived as desperate, so is actually counterproductive. If you practised the violin every single day, sunk money into lessons, took every opportunity you got to play it at events, or with bands/orchestras, or in public spaces, and sought approval from those who… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 09:16 PM |
| – | Immaturity is a bigger problem with guys than they think.not warped PPD humans. At this point it's not necessarily even the warped PPD users they're reacting to, they just make shit up, all the damn time. You could be the most respectful, polite, patient, articulate man on the planet and they'll still claim you're either behaving like or are secretly the worst human being imaginable, which they've cobbled together in their minds from extreme and unrepresentative examples, selectively chosen worst-cases, misinterpretations, over-exaggerations, and fict… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 09:09 PM |
| – | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.Every job I’ve ever had has requested me to be vetted and screened Those jobs didn't run around blasting propaganda about how people who need jobs are, until proven otherwise, dangerous horny violent freaks. You voluntarily submitted yourself to that vetting by applying for those jobs. It's a specific check in a specific context for a specific purpose, not a general statement of probability of unfitness to exist in society without being portrayed as a subhuman asshole and an active threat to >50… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/24 11:43 AM |
| 1 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.I'm pretty sure a woman who kills babies is a threat to male lives. Regardless, the idea that women are never violent or dangerous is a lie to begin with, it's only the perception of that which makes women appear not to be a threat. Don't bother to disagree with that because to do so would be to deny the reality of human nature, which cannot be nullified by a sexist ideology. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/24 11:31 AM |
| 4 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.Nothing but how is this a problem caused by women? Given that you claimed that men could solve the problem by being less violent, and the commenter you're referring to has not committed that violence, and that you're a woman saying this... you just demonstrated directly how women are part of this problem. You are a woman blaming men, including that commenter (because he is a man), for men not being listened to/cared about/taken seriously as victims. As his question suggests, he could not persona… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/24 11:12 AM |
| 0 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.Wow, you sure showed him. Now how about actually answering the point? You wouldn't want men to run around saying "well, we don't know which women are whores and babykillers, so we should just treat them all that way, just in case". You certainly wouldn't want men actually treating you that way, beyond just thinking it or saying it. So don't do the same to men. Quite simple. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/24 10:57 AM |
| 4 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.I think you are playing oppression olympics. By accusing them of this, you're doing the very thing they're talking about. You're denying their point that male victims are just as valid and important as female victims by refusing to allow them to talk about them as equals and express the reactions they see when people try to do that. You're attempting to discredit them by suggesting they're trying to gain unreasonable advantage in the discussion and "one-up" the female victims. But they aren't an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/24 10:44 AM |
| 3 | Has Manosphere ideology been a net positive, or net negative?Yes, modern world is thoroughly anti-male due to feminism. 50 000 years ago, the world was thoroughly anti -male due to sabertooth tigers eating dudes. The principle remains the same: weak are weeded out, strong thrive and get females. Except back then we worked together, men and women, in tribes. Not men versus women in some supranational race for gender supremacy. In any case, you can spear a tiger, you can't spear a woman, or a government, or an abstract ideology. Even if I take what you're s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 05:24 PM |
| 7 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.But if it's laughed at it is laughed at by other men, rarely women. That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 05:16 PM |
| 6 | Things are only truly terrible when it happens to women.No one is kidnapping me- I’m too big and too strong unless you’re some kind of badass. OK, so what about the men and boys who grow up getting the shit kicked out of them, or getting psychologically abused? Should they feel safe and privileged and glad they're not weak little women? Should they be glad their genitals provide them some kind of forcefield from hurt and harm? Are we supposed to just ignore that men are victims too? Because I don't think that's fair or reasonable to do. In fact it's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 10:42 AM |
| 5 | Has Manosphere ideology been a net positive, or net negative?it presents the issue as Men vs Women I'm pretty sure there's been an ideology promoting that view for a lot longer than any "manosphere". Say, I don't know, about the past 100-150 years or so? More obviously, in the mainstream, the past 20-30 years. If you present men, especially those who are already struggling, with a movement which says "men's time is over, they're overprivileged and abusive, let's ignore them, berate them, deprioritise them, and vilify them", what do you think is going to h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 10:22 AM |
| 5 | “Be nice” was NEVER code for “Being nice to women gets them wet for you”. Nice guys lie to themselves.Remarkably insightful link. Just a shame it's wasted on those here who most need to hear it. That post is what it's about and what calling any desire to be with another person "entitlement to a wet dick" maliciously attempts to discredit and silence. It's sick, frankly, that for all the cultural understanding of those core human emotional experiences we're told that all we want is to abuse women's bodies. If anybody was arguing in good faith, that wouldn't be the go-to, and even those who do mak… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/24 12:34 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?I had no intention of moving any goalposts, I was simply stating a fact. Indeed, a fact which still remains salient because those who support him would still rather him than the current president, never mind his attitudes towards women. Why would they cancel the guy they think can oust the guy they hate for reasons more important to them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 05:26 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Meanwhile, women voted for him in the millions and millions. Which might suggest that his attitude towards sexual behaviour and bigotry may not have been the thing people were most concerned about, regarding his political aspirations. I don't think he makes for a very good case study, for that reason. People had other reasons for wanting him as president which were more important to them that what he thought about women. If that many women voted for him (and they did) then clearly they were will… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 05:22 PM |
| 0 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?It's nice to know I'm not completely crazy. Thanks for that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 05:16 PM |
| -2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?I didn't say me, but I was pointing to the double standard in which men would be told that they look like a threat to women if they were to walk around like that and would deserve not to have women react warmly to them. Not very well, in hindsight, and yes, it was the wrong place to do that. But the point is still valid. Turns out if you constantly get nothing but bullshit thrown at you in discussions it's difficult to smell anything except bullshit. But I wouldn't expect anybody to consider it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 05:09 PM |
| 4 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?If you can point to the person who said any of what you just suggested, you can have a cookie. I don't have any cookies, but that's OK, because you won't be able to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 05:00 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Jesus Christ not everything is about you. Oh, I don't know, mainstream discourse seems to disagree, doesn't it? Everybody's talking about men, and how we're disgusting, violent, misogynistic scum... I mean, shit, this is why this thread exists, because those of us who aren't inconsiderate assholes keep receiving this message. So it is about me. Very much about me, as a man. As long as you, as a gender and a political movement, keep pressuring us with this unhelpful and damaging messaging, it wil… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:44 PM |
| 0 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?I made, I make, reasonable points. Then they get pissed on to a chorus of women's laughter, to be followed up with a ream of insults and accusations. What's the fucking point of making the effort? I'm never going to get understanding or sympathy, no matter how much I give, no matter how carefully I word my points, but I'm expected to give and give and give. Yeah, sure, I made the wrong point in the wrong place. Would it have made any difference if I hadn't? I doubt it. I made other points, in ot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:31 PM |
| 2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?"Can't handle". Which orifice did you pull that from? I just expect an adult woman to be able to do adult things, at adult times of the day, like a grown up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:28 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?God bless this petal, probably for the best he doesn’t get out much. Golly gosh, I sure do wonder why men get bent out of shape about the way they're treated by women. Funny how you can sit there and rip the piss out of men like me but simultaneously cry about how dangerous the world is. And don't tell me I started it, because I started out making a reasonable point, like the OP did, and I've been bundled on for doing it. Moreover, men are told to take more risks all the time, as if there's no d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:23 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?When men here talk about being concerned that they'll be perceived as problematic and potentially socially or legally punished for attempting to make an approach or raise the potential for sex or a relationship with a woman, a lot of the women here will run them down and laugh them out of the room. "When's the last time you got arrested for talking to a woman?" OK, well, when's the last time you got murdered? See how absurd that line of reasoning is? That something doesn't have to be common or l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:17 PM |
| 3 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?No, I'm just tired of being treated like nothing I say is relevant, correct, or reflective of reality, so I occasionally get hung up trying to make a point that should've been acknowledged hours ago but wasn't. If anybody here could have a sensible fucking conversation then I wouldn't have to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:05 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Good for you. You're one woman. There are many who aren't you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 03:01 PM |
| -1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Doesn't change the facts though, does it? Any good man who sees you acting like that is going to stay away, just like you're trying to achieve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:45 PM |
| 2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?She can, yes, but will she? Evidently not, given the amount of "my asshole ex" stories. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:44 PM |
| 2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Perhaps they "should", but clearly that's not what's happening, is it? Otherwise there would be infinite stories about how women ended up with assholes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:44 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?It's quite a simple concept and you won't even entertain the idea that it makes any sense whatsoever. You've chosen one specific point, which I didn't even make, that he, specifically, will definitely get to be with her because he, specifically, was the one asshole who dared be around her, and tried to use it to discredit the very logical actual point I, and the OP, made. You refuse to let go of the one "gotcha" you think you've got and actually engage with the broader logical point we're presen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:42 PM |
| 4 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Well, yes. But that's most places. I can understand not going to some remote place where there are no people, or meeting in some dark alley in the bad part of town, or going directly to some guy's house, but there are a lot of other things you could be doing, safely, even after dark. Restaurants, clubs, bars, music/dance venues, shows, movies, the funfair... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:39 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?You're clearly incapable of grasping the logical thread of this, so I'm going to leave you to think about it for a minute. Good guys = gone. Bad guys = still there, not caring. Woman seeking a relationship = has only bad guys to choose from. Cue a thousand more stories about how all men are lazy feckless insensitive uncaring inconsiderate assholes. Yes. Obviously. If you're filtering out the ones who aren't, that's on you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:37 PM |
| -3 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Doesn't matter, because that's not the point. The point is that the men she had to choose from were the ones who didn't care for the rules and got in her space anyway. Do those sound like caring, considerate, understanding, modern, progressive men? Or do they sound like sleazy men who don't care as long as there's a sniff of a chance of sex in it for them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:35 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Then tried to play victim that if a man were to look like this he’d be a predator when in reality he’d just be ignored and no one would give af. Oh, really? You're going to say that, in this discussion, where the theme once again is "we don't know which men are dangerous so we'll just assume they all are", without a shred of irony? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:34 PM |
| 0 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?No, it didn't. He pointed out that if you forcefully warn men away then the only men who will be around you are the ones who don't give a fuck. The very men you claim you're trying to keep away. They don't give a fuck about the rules because they don't give a fuck about you. The guys who do give a fuck are leaving your well alone because you've told them you want nothing to do with men or to be approached in even the most benign of spaces or circumstances. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:32 PM |
| 2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?If she wants to be with somebody and her only options are the men too oblivious or self-interested to have not left her alone, she's going to choose one of those men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:30 PM |
| 3 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Also I love how you assigned her being a mega bitch by just going about her business like any other human. She literally described it as being intentionally off-putting and hard-looking so as to convey that she shouldn't be messed with. That's the entire point of looking that way on purpose. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:19 PM |
| 7 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?There's nothing wrong with that, if the context is appropriate. What if you want an evening in a cosy wine bar? What if you want to go out dancing? What if you want to go and see a show? I understand that "let's go and sit on that distant hilltop on the dead of night" would be a concern, but we're likely talking about heavily populated areas here, and venues with staff and other patrons. I'm pretty sure women years ago were quite happy to go out on evening dates. I'm not saying you're wrong to h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:17 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Good job that's not what the OP said then, really, isn't it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:14 PM |
| – | It's totally justified for "nice guys" to feel a bit frustrated.If you have any sort of social circle they're going to know, unless you only hangout with stupid people. Yeah, right? How stupid do these women think (that we'll believe) other people are? It's not even consistent, because on the one hand there's this "nobody knows you're a virgin, stop whining and get on with it, you paranoid fragile loser" and then on the other hand they'll talk about being able to tell men are misogynists from 200 miles away, in the dark, blindfolded and wearing headphones. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:10 PM |
| -4 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Yeah? And? Now they're together, so... what? What does your point add to the discussion, or change about the situation? Even if we call it coercion, he's in that relationship now, not the good guy, because the good guy took the hint and left. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:08 PM |
| -4 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?I live in a dodgy part of a city and my default mode is a resting bitch face, headphones, speed walking, ignore weirdos, it works a treat. "Just get out there, touch grass, women are all over the place and we're cool with being approached, just treat us like human beings! It's not that hard!" sees a bunch of scowling headphone-wearing keep-the-fuck-away-from-me hard-nosed megabitches Uh, yeah. Sure. OK. Like I said in the other comment, how do you expect good men to enter your world, if you're t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:06 PM |
| 7 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?For example suggesting a hike for a first date is a red flag not because I assume the guy is a criminal but because it demonstrates so much ignorance. Given that about 375% of female profiles on online dating say they're gin/wine-drinking yoga-practicing hill-hiking dog-moms, I don't think inviting somebody to hike with them would seem very much out of place. I agree that "hey, come hang out with me 40 miles from any nearby civilisation where nobody knows we're there and you couldn't hope to run… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 01:02 PM |
| 0 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?I don't understand how you can't see the answer to that. He stuck around, potentially against her will (at least initially), and he was the guy she allowed herself to have a relationship or a sexual encounter with, because the guy who actually cared vanished at the sight of her being uncomfortable and the bad guy was the one who ignored that long enough for her to warm to him. She narrowed her pool of potential partners to the ones who don't care and the bad guy, as a result, got to be with her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:54 PM |
| 2 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Ah. OK. That's at least somewhat more reasonable, although women aren't little children who can't go out after 6pm because it's too dangerous. They're adults. Some of them carry weapons. Police and private venue security exist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:52 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?But if he thinks he's causing her stress or concern, why would he stick around? Why would he stand there and wait for her to warm up to him if he thinks she's distressed by his (or any man's) presence, knowing (or at least suspecting) that he's making her uncomfortable? That's the point of the OP. The guys who do that don't care now and won't care in a relationship or sexual situation. That's where the "nice guy" argument comes from: The guy who's willing to stick around and potentially make her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:46 PM |
| 14 | Doesn't being "on guard" with all men just drive away good men and leave only predators?Do you think actually asking a man if he's a murderer is going to result in him saying "wow, good job lady, I'm impressed, you got me, I guess I'll have to go and prey on another hapless victim, haha"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:36 PM |
| 2 | Why is it so bad to fall for your friends?Yeah, so essentially he's only your "friend" and you only "care about" him as long as he does, feels, and says exactly what you want him to. How very compassionate of you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 10:18 AM |
| 1 | Why is it so bad to fall for your friends?You keep banging on about how he's not considering your feelings, but you haven't shown one atom of concern about his. It's all about you and the more you double down on this the more you prove that you stubbornly refuse to give any kind of a shit about anything other than that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 10:12 AM |
| 12 | This sub passively censors red pill discussion through a strange list of “rules” that seems to grow by the dayclaim that there will be a violent uprising of lonely men in the near future. If you can't comprehend the entirely legitimate point that more disenfranchised, lonely, frustrated men means a higher likelihood of discontent, mental illness, desperation, crime, and violence, then that's on you. It's not a threat, it's not a manifesto, it's a simple statement of fact that based on what we know of human social behaviour there is likely to be an increase in anti-social behaviour if more people are unh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 09:50 AM |
| 1 | Why is it so bad to fall for your friends?as long as you don't do anything that would put her in an awkward position. What, like admitting it? The alternative being that he either ghosts her to avoid it becoming awkward or (potentially unknowingly) dedicates himself to her silently without saying anything or doing anything about it other than treating her like a princess for feelings that (in the best case scenario) she doesn't know about (and isn't exploiting) and won't reciprocate? Neither of which are considered appropriate responses… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 09:37 AM |
| 3 | Why is it so bad to fall for your friends?Yet you seem not to care even the slightest bit about how he feels, that he would've risked that relationship with a woman he cares (potentially quite deeply) about and wants to become closer with. If you gave a shit about him as a friend then your immediate reaction wouldn't be "ew, selfish lying manipulative freak, fuck off, I'm not your freebie easy sex hole just because I liked you enough to hang out". It would be "I'm sorry, I wish I could because I do want you to be happy but I can't be th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 09:33 AM |
| – | It's totally justified for "nice guys" to feel a bit frustrated.It's not about what is your fault or isn't your fault. It kind of is though. That's why men in this thread keep saying women will blame them or assign some kind of moral failing or accuse them of being misogynists as justification as to why they're not successful with women. You surround yourself with people who share your life stage/development stage. If that means going for college kids as friends when you are 28, so be it. Yeah, well, that's a little bit difficult when you're on a train speed… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 08:58 AM |
| – | It's totally justified for "nice guys" to feel a bit frustrated.literally no one knows unless you tell them I keep seeing this, but it's just not true. I mean, yes, on the surface, they don't know you haven't had sex or relationships unless you tell them, but they can and will make a pretty judgemental guess based on what they're seeing and hearing (or not seeing and hearing). They might not judge on hard fact, it might just be a "feeling", and it might be an unfair judgement or incorrect guess, but a lot of the time they're probably going to be right, even … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 08:38 AM |
| – | It's totally justified for "nice guys" to feel a bit frustrated.Having grown up in an oppressive, abusive household and force-fed the belief that I'm a useless sack of shit for a couple of decades, never given any support and raged at whenever I tried to do anything for myself... Yeah, I might not be the most perfect specimen of mental health, but that wasn't my fault, it wasn't something I chose to be, or do, which people would be right to find offensive. I just happened to be subject to living conditions and life circumstances which severely crippled my op… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 08:19 AM |
| 1 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?And it's obvious that men express those emotions more than women The thing that comes to mind reading this is sports. I don't follow sports, I'm not a fan of a team, I don't "support" one, I barely know the rules to most. But I do know, and have known, men who do. Passionate sports fans can find strong comradery in other members of their tribe, they'll physically interact in ways you wouldn't attribute to "manly" men (even though in many ways they're perceived as such). They'll talk, they'll hug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:17 AM |
| 3 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?My sincere advice is to draw a line at some people and accept that some people just don't care, and stop wasting energy on them. Yeah, that's great and all, but if you're starving and somebody who otherwise wouldn't give you any food tosses you a mouldy dinner roll, you're gonna eat it because you don't know when you might find your next meal. Is it healthy? No. But neither is having nobody to talk to. If all you have is to try and wring the most vague hint of catharsis out of trying to explain … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 12:01 AM |
| 3 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?if you don't care about your loved ones struggles thats weird That wouldn't be his fault though, it would be the fault of people around him, and I know from experience that's all too common. For all the "if everywhere you go stinks of shit, check your shoes", people on the whole genuinely don't seem to care, and if you've experienced otherwise then you're privileged. no one should silently endure something that causes them pain Yeah, that's easy to say if - once again - you're privileged enough … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 11:57 PM |
| -2 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Opening up about romantic loneliness can be a hard and embarrassing topic Damn well is around here. I could give the benefit of the doubt and say that your point regarding insulting women has some merit and, perhaps in some cases, it does. But I've never done that and I still get treated like a misogynistic asshole around here. It's very rare to see women here sympathising or empathising with men who haven't had relationships, especially as many of the women here have and often mention they're i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 11:49 PM |
| 2 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Yeah, OK, and the 95% of the problem which is the stress caused by threats to kick you out of your home, fire you from your job, have your crap repossessed, the realities of aging and your body breaking down, or the complete lack of intimacy or perhaps even platonic company of any kind? You can vent all you like, and many here do, but it doesn't fix the actual problem. Which, much like trying to numb it with booze or drugs, will be back tomorrow with a vengeance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 06:58 PM |
| 6 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Cool, good luck, I think they have a lot of potential to help men who feel they have no place or people in their lives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 10:12 AM |
| 6 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Yeah, particularly in the context of dating and intimacy, there's nobody appropriate to express those emotions to. If you want to express love and care and support (in a relationship sense), if you want to share experiences with an intimate partner (intimate or general life experiences), if you want to raise a child, if that's what's missing from your emotional toolkit, to be able to express those things to somebody who has that role in your life, how is "talking about it" going to help? The per… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 10:06 AM |
| 6 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?I have to dumb everything down like they are a child until they finally get it. If they finally do get it and aren't just playing along, or assuming something about the problem (including it not even being a problem in the first place) which isn't true or isn't what's actually happening in your case, because they don't understand anything about the experiences you're trying to communicate. Then by the time you've managed to get them to express that they finally understand you, they're either tot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 10:00 AM |
| 4 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Similar kind of idea to Men's Sheds (originated in Australia but has spread elsewhere). Unfortunately those spaces and organisations are still few and far between, so the fact that they exist is not necessarily of practical benefit to the many men who need or might benefit from them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 09:52 AM |
| 16 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?Why would you make that assumption, that it's a "you" (or "him", in this case) problem? A lot of the issues men have are related to actual real life difficulties, real limiting factors, real risks, real disadvantages, whatever. Money issues, housing issues, job issues, physical issues, access to intimacy issues, practical issues which won't go away no matter how much you talk about it. They often need external support and actual concrete actions and resources to fix, not just a 30 minute chat ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 09:41 AM |
| 4 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?No, I struggle with communication because there's nobody to communicate with and, even where there is, no fucker will actually listen (and if you expect anybody to actually do anything in order to help, you're going to be disappointed). Despite the immense stress that causes, I have never once acted violently towards anybody or even any inanimate object. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 09:22 AM |
| 4 | The TinMen back on Chris Williamson podcast with 1.8 Million subscribers.Usually how his channel works is he'll put out highlight clips ahead of time and then sometime in the next week or so he'll put out the whole podcast. Which is kind of irritating. Still, you can probably expect an hour or two whole show in the coming days. Edit: Confirmed, his pinned comment says: The full episode with TheTinMen goes live soon | /r/MensRights | 12/02/24 04:08 AM |
| 8 | What is happening to this sub?Why can't we acknowledge that things are shit for everyone in different ways and strive to improve them without this completely unnuanced oppression Olympics? We can. Sorry, let me rephrase that: We can. It doesn't mean they will. Talking about "oppression olympics" every time men express discontent, whilst men get near-zero consideration, support, or even basic acknowledgement or validation most of the time, demonstrates that the "oppression olympics" line is gaslighting. It's indicating to men… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/02/24 02:34 AM |
| 3 | i feel like half of this subreddit is chronically online and it's concerningthe algorithm is a crazy thing. if you interact with content, you'll be shown more of it. i promise you the internet is not full of "endless man hating tiktoks." if that's what you interact with, that's what you'll see. tiktok is not a concentrated algorithm like reddit, so it's the absolute worst example in this case. OK, so not gendered then. Just a few select assholes being assholes. Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander. If those instances of women expressing hatred and abuse towards men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/24 12:56 AM |
| 6 | i feel like half of this subreddit is chronically online and it's concerningYou know this, its been explained to you many times. Yes, in terms of any problem which is spoken about by a person with male genitals being irrelevant, misinterpreted, lowest priority, and "toxic" to discuss. Like I said, trying to lampshade it doesn't make it not true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/24 12:53 AM |
| 12 | i feel like half of this subreddit is chronically online and it's concerningwomen aren't made more [...] radicalized due to more internet usage. at least not at the rate men are Really? So 2X/FDS, endless man-hating TikToks, torrents of anti-male sentiment on Twitter, abuse of "Are We Dating The Same Guy" Facebook groups, "misogyny" being committed by women against other women, and backlash against women who stand up for men (eg: Shoe0nHead) aren't things that are happening? You pointed out that some of those things are common complaints as though doing so invalidates t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/24 12:39 AM |
| 3 | What is happening to this sub?Look at the stats. Tell me a gender which has the majority of the preventable premature deaths, the majority of homelessness, the worst outcomes in education, the least dedicated support services, the worst coverage of their issues in the media (that's men, for those at the back) somehow has the upper hand. That in itself is a feminist talking point: that men are privileged to the extreme and women have no such power or resources so the status quo pushing for unending high priority support for w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 11:57 PM |
| 1 | What is happening to this sub?Indeed, although I was aiming for an example which was relatively uncontroversial, rather than something which would inspire discussion about some other international tribal war. Frustratingly, these discussions can get quite easily derailed when you raise other hot topics, they're prone to spawn other "passionate debates" which only distract from the point at hand. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 11:51 PM |
| 3 | What is happening to this sub?I’m here to learn to advocate for you guys more effectively, but it feels like this has become a space that’s less focused on positively supporting men and that’s more openly hostile to women. I would suggest that you take a closer look at why this might be. Why would men be holding those opinions? What might they have experienced in their lives which would suggest that women are a hostile force? Why aren't they in better positions in their lives, such that their focus is supporting their family… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:55 PM |
| 10 | What is happening to this sub?That only works in practice if both sides are operating in good faith. If we open ourselves up to caring too much what women think of what we say, do, and believe them outright when they express displeasure at our perspectives as men, then we're open to being manipulated. Which is already happening. It's already happened. It will continue to happen. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:45 PM |
| 15 | What is happening to this sub?We don't want to be exclusionary and gatekeepy like so many feminist spaces tend to be. I think the perfectly reasonable stance to have on this is that this is a male space for male issues and is entirely entitled to focus on that topic, the topic it was built to contain discussion about, and that's the only justification it needs. Sometimes that might require pointing out sexist bias and injustice against men, which again is entirely fair, however it seems to be that any criticism of women or f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:44 PM |
| 13 | What is happening to this sub?truly equal and fair Many of us are quite open about wanting to support women in what they want to do in their daily lives, their safety, their rights, and even in our personal lives we're there for the women who need us. But there's nothing "equal and fair" about the repayment for that being to be told that we should shut up, fuck off, and (perhaps literally) die in a hole whenever we ask for some consideration in return. A relationship cannot exist in that one-sided fashion forever, something … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:34 PM |
| 14 | What is happening to this sub?Although I understand where you're coming from... why? Or, to put it another way, if women are dedicating 100% of their thought to their own benefit and we're dedicating 50% of our thought to their benefit too, that only leaves us with 50% of our own thought and 0% of theirs. We get 25% of the overall social and political attention dedicated to our problems and even then none of it coming from a group which is highly self-interested and unwilling to offer the kind of compromises we give them, so… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:24 PM |
| 20 | What is happening to this sub?As with all claims of such things, often in the form of "the far right are recruiting our young men" and "how do we make those young men be on our side, politically", I'd have to question how much of that is perceptual ignorance and how much of it is active political malice. It's all very well saying "these people are extreme, they're trolls, they're bad actors, they're recruiting, they're false flags, they're this and that and the other and we need to silence or ban them", but how do you tell t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 03:16 PM |
| 1 | What is happening to this sub?I'm talking about our moral responsibilities. Not much use having moral principles, as an individual or as a gender, if the cultural environment ensures that to have them means that you will never have the power to actually make use of them. It's also more likely to exacerbate the issue of men being lost, disenfranchised, and cut off from society, to acquiesce to women's every demand, at any (and especially men's) cost. It raises the likelihood of violence and crime. We're not stupid. We see we'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 02:57 PM |
| 6 | What is happening to this sub?I will still just note that refusing to challenge these feelings, reflexive generalizations, etc. is bad. Meanwhile, such men are faced with an extremely powerful social and political power, which in mainstream culture presents itself as having an unassailable moral high ground and being right about everything, point blank refusing that there's even a sliver of a chance that it needs to do the same thing. Those with the power should lead by example and if they fail to do that, or demand that the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 02:48 PM |
| 7 | What is happening to this sub?At a certain point you have to do something to avoid giving them everything they want without any reciprocation or they'll just keep taking and taking and taking because as far as they're concerned all their "progress" costs society nothing, it's just there for the taking and has no consequences. If the only thing they'll listen to is not being given everything they demand without question then... well, the logical solution is to stop giving them what they want, so that they'll have to come to a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 02:42 PM |
| 6 | What is happening to this sub?Fantastic generalization. Based on the evidence that nobody's doing a damn thing about and most discourse is actively opposed to understanding or doing anything about issues men and boys have, I'd say they're functionally right in saying "none of them" care. The reality is that the amount who do care, certainly enough to actually do anything, is so small as to be unworthy of mention. Why should they care about your problems when you don't care about theirs? Because they have the upper hand in te… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/24 02:34 PM |
| 3 | Location is Everything and not talked about enoughI am in the UK, yeah. I can sort of see where the disconnect is, I guess, because people in the US seem to think it's normal to move hundreds of miles away for college or a new job or... just to be somewhere else, I guess, and you'd think with the UK being so small and near a bunch of other countries it'd be easy for us to do the same. But it's just different here. The scale is different, we can't just pick another state, because we've only got one, there's no other UK to just pop over to for a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/24 02:00 PM |
| 5 | Location is Everything and not talked about enoughIt's a shitty thing to bring up and focus on in most situations when trying to advise someone on their love life. Yes and no. Yes: not everybody can just get up and move somewhere completely different for a multitude of reasons, it's not a very helpful response to struggling to find a date/partner to say "just move then", that's a total non-option for many and is a privileged perspective. No: to some extent there is genuine benefit to acknowledging real impacts causing the situation to be diffic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/24 05:09 AM |
| 4 | Would women suggest that men not approach them?See, a compassionate person might've acknowledged that I had some fair points to make rather than screaming about how wrong I am about every single detail simply because I highlighted how difficult it really is in reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/24 04:57 AM |
| 7 | Would women suggest that men not approach them?Yes, well, thanks for categorising autistic people as obnoxious violent threats to women, because that's not a harmful stereotype or a disgustingly ableist thing to do at all, is it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/24 12:43 AM |
| 6 | Would women suggest that men not approach them?This advice is about not acting. It always is, that's the problem. The "advice" is always "don't do it, don't get near her, don't speak to her, don't offer her a drink, don't proposition her, she's not there for you, you're going to freak her out with your desperation, sense of entitlement, and ability to slam her against a wall if she says no". This is pretty simple actually: you become a regular at a hobby, event platform, or hobby-adjacent event platform (several times a week). If. If. That's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/24 12:35 AM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYou outright claimed that if a woman is offended then our/my behaviour is the cause of that offense and any negative reaction is justified. You said that it "doesn't happen" unless "you can't read social cues and not have tact or understanding about societal norms". That's denying any responsibility on behalf of the woman and so it must be true that she has done nothing wrong, she has no role to play in this scenario other than "victim", she could not possibly have instigated or perpetuated or e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/24 01:04 AM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYou missed the point. 20-30 years ago, when women were complaining that girls were getting horrible eating disorders from media constantly implying that they needed to be no thicker than a can of Diet Coke otherwise they'd be considered fat and ugly, we agreed that this was bad and that we needed to quit pushing those girls into feeling that about themselves. Since then we've had the whole body positivity thing to try and tell women "hey, you don't have to looked like a starved heroin addict to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/24 12:55 AM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulI don't have any to hand because I don't catalogue and store them for future reference. What I do have, however, is this collection of posters, all but one of them published/endorsed by police and government departments in the UK. That's a small taste of the kind of messaging I have to wrangle with as a man who is trying to do the right thing. Because the answer I'm constantly given, either implicitly or explicitly, is "just don't". (Reposted because autodeleted the first time for non-np Reddit … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 07:05 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYou can't even just admit, for one moment, that women aren't perfect specimens of sweetness, light, and perfect communication, can you? There are countless movies predicated on (even if exaggerated to make them worth producing a fictional movie about) miscommunications between love interests and how men and women can get things hideously wrong. Including - and I'm being generous here in suggesting that it's an honest misunderstanding - accusing men of behaving improperly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 07:04 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYup. There we go. "That's on you, buddy, not the women screaming from the rooftops about how men are assholes who won't leave them alone". Quelle surprise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:59 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulLook, feminists rage about how men are bastards, right? How men don't care, how men are oblivious, how men are misogynistic, scary, relentlessly horny, and so on. How men won't leave women alone, how we'll hit on them all the time even when they're just trying to get shit done, how that's emotionally draining, how it feels like men are constantly preying on them? Some of us listen to that and take it to heart. Then, unsurprisingly, we find it difficult to find reasonable, safe, appropriate oppor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:57 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulExcept for a few dudes who are crushing it Agreeing with the rest of your comment, I'd even go as far as to say many of the men who are successful aren't that good at communication either. It's potentially possible to be successful via a combination of being oblivious to a lack of encouragement/attempts to shut you down and having no filter so you just say whatever you want even if that's often inappropriate. If you happen to do that with a woman who, by chance, turns out to be bored/lonely/intr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:51 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYou can't have half the sub saying they want a virgin and then half the sub saying they want a women to walk up to them at random and suck them off. You can't have half the sub telling men to FOAD for thinking they have any right to be within 10ft of a woman who hasn't explicitly invited them and the other half saying "touch grass, loser, we're women, we're not nuclear waste, you can just say hi, you won't die" either, but here we are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:45 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulSure, so fuck me for giving a shit then, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:42 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulDoesn't matter whether I'm autistic or not, the thing I said is true regardless. Fact is there are consequences, there is negative messaging warning men off offending/upsetting/causing concern or fear in women, men are said to be disgusting and offensively pushy or oblivious horndogs who have no concern for women and no interest in real emotional connection, and whether I'm on the spectrum or not doesn't change any of that one iota. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:41 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulGenerally if a woman is "being friendly" at the very least she is open to talking to you? One would think. If I was scared of a man I darn sure would not be speaking to or even looking at him. That's something some women have explicitly given as a reason for ambiguous or agreeable behaviour towards men who are trying to get with them. Daydreaming, well normally someone does not make direct eye contact repeatedly with someone with they are daydreaming. It can manifest as zoned-out staring into sp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:38 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulFine, great, but you don't get to bitch when you get unwanted attention, because you've forced us to "shoot our shot" in order to find out something that you don't even know... ...and, as a result, we couldn't even begin to guess, because there is no answer, it's Schrodinger's Relationship, the only way we can ever know is to open the box - you can't be offended that we chose to open a box that, unbeknownst to us, contains the rotting corpse of a cat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:31 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulI am a woman and I agree with you. If I am interested in a guy I will make deliberate eye contact and smile as do most women I know. OK, and how does the guy know you weren't just "being friendly" or "scared of and placating him" or "looking at the guy behind him" or "daydreaming"? Because you know you can pull out any one of those reasons, whether you meant to express that to him in the moment or not (and perhaps you decided you changed your mind), and he'll be none the wiser. That's the ambigu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:25 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulWhy would you need her signals of interest if you are straight forward? Yeah, great, if you ignore any potential for repercussions and the loud messaging that women are sick of men being so horny, intrusive, demanding, entitled, and constantly in their faces everywhere they go. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:21 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulFeminism, which has a significant influence on current culture, sure seems to have other ideas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:18 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulMen are not the only ones that are allowed to feel scared and insecure. No, we're not, and I do have empathy for women who suffer social consequences from autism, I know what it's like, I've been there (including much of what you described in your comment below), I'm still living it and the consequences of it happening to me as a boy and a young man, decades later. But you're not going to get called a misogynistic predator for trying and getting it wrong, and even if you were it's not your role … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:14 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulUnderstand that it's not nearly as simple as either you or those hypothetical (but based on very real) women claim. One of you has to be wrong. The answer can't simultaneously be "men should never approach women or express themselves sexually lest a woman take offense" and "tough shit, that's a man's role, get out there and touch grass, if you want it you'd better ask for it". That's the conflict of modern gender roles. Men still expected to keep theirs but women free to redefine gender relation… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 06:03 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulMeanwhile, 20 other women having these discussions: "ew, no, stay away, if you step within 20ft of me I'm going to consider you a disgusting creep, I never told you that you could express yourself emotionally or sexually around me, ick, men are such disgusting misogynistic 'entitled' sexhounds". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:57 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulEssentially though, giving and receiving eye contact from across a room is hot and a good way to build attraction between two confederates. But if you think too optimistically, or if you go and look up videos of women explaining how to know if a woman's interested in you, it'll be 5% "here's how you'll know" and 95% "except when that's not true because it's 50 million other things with the same physical behaviours which could mean anything from nothing to I'm terrified and I want out of this sit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:55 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulWell then women will have to accept men attempting to approach and propositioning them, won't they? Because someone has to make a move. If they don't want to, what's the alternative? We just die as a species because everybody was too sensitive to mention or initiate intimacy? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:45 PM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.if you follow the conversation, you will see that i am responding to you saying that its wrong for women to act like "dating is too dangerous to even be around any men" But you did say: this is literally true for some women Which seems to me to be justifying that stance, a stance which many women here hold. am i a charity service for men? I explicitly said I didn't expect you, personally to fix society. I said it's a cultural problem. asking for credit for men for... passively existing is fuckin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:41 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulYou're trying to claim that women always and perfectly communicate exactly what they want and what they mean, at all times, without misleading, lying, sending mixed messages, being too shy/anxious, or otherwise failing to convey what it is they think they're conveying? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:36 PM |
| 1 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?Because it's progression of the relationship and it allows for more complete, more immediate, more personal communication than over text or a phone call/video call. You can physically do things together and share sensory experiences and there's no lag. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 05:33 PM |
| – | One of the most insanely frustrating things is how women very rarely make it entirely clear when they are interested, making approaching them unnecessarily stressfulNo, silly, it means they think you're pig ugly! Women here will readily say "if you don't receive IOIs then she's not interested and you should leave her alone", because there's absolutely no way a woman could ever be god awful at communication or using plausible deniability or coercive behaviour to her advantage... ...right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:35 PM |
| 2 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?Yeah. I mean, on the face of it they do sound like different experiences, though I guess they come from the same place, and we just have different ways of dealing with it (which might differ depending on how the anxiety came about in the first place). Weird how that works, but I guess in being aware of autism being different for different people it's not exactly an alien concept that what we think of as being one disorder or condition actually presents very differently in different people and ci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?Well, sure. Different strokes and all that. If it works for you then that's cool, whatever you need to do. But personally I find that being in the moment and just doing it instead of leaving vast spans of time to just imagine all the things which could go wrong or endlessly plan and re-plan and analyse everything I could/should do is a lot less stressful. Any mistakes I make are more likely to be genuine everyday mistakes anybody could make rather than caused by rumination and anxiety. If I'm al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 01:27 PM |
| 40 | I noticed how people teach young boys to respect girls, but people never teach young girls to respect boys."Male privilege", they say, to the man who's struggling with immense loneliness, lack of purpose, with few to no achievements, no future prospects, anxiety, depression, and a high likelihood of dying prematurely of stress, mental health issues, or suicide. They refuse to treat any man as an individual, a person, a human being. He's just some kind of symbol of the enemy, something to be mined and exploited for resources and support for women. Even if he has nothing to give and himself needs help. | /r/MensRights | 07/02/24 09:20 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.I mean, I was going to add that I couldn't judge which one of you (if any) were the problem, because I wasn't there and that wouldn't be fair to comment on, but I didn't because it felt a bit extra. But pretend I did say that, because who knows, maybe it was you, maybe it was her, maybe both, or maybe you just weren't compatible. All you can do is learn what to look out for next time, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 03:55 AM |
| 2 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?I'm not demanding anybody hop on my dick the moment I clap eyes on them. What I'm saying is that I'm not going to sit around for 6 weeks sending mixed messages (or allowing her to do the same) because I don't know what I want or what I'm doing (or her likewise). If she's interested in a relationship and I'm interested in a relationship then there's no point delaying meeting, if we're serious about wanting to start something then aimless texting isn't gonna do the job. I don't need to be waiting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 03:31 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.That's fair enough, if it was a relationship that was going to hurt either/both of you, probably for the best to move on. But at least you gave it a shot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 03:27 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.The thing is, autism isn't one thing. It's not like certain personality disorders where somebody who suffers from condition A will behave by definition in ways X, Y, and Z, it's just this nebulous cloud of potential issues that professionals have shrugged and said "eh, yeah, we don't know what else that is, we'll just call it all autism". I don't doubt that you're right and I'm quite sure that some autistic women would be impossible to get along with in that context, especially if they've got co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:49 AM |
| 4 | Men, which woman is better? Why?Woman 1 please. Do you have her number? No, but seriously, woman 1. I don't have particularly high expectations or demands and I'm looking for company more than sex (but I would want sex at least sometimes). She sounds perfectly fine to me and probably "on my level". Woman 2 is likely to be out of my league and potentially high maintenance. I'll pass on access to frequent on-demand sex if that's the price I'd have to pay because, like I said, that's not what I'm looking for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:33 AM |
| 0 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?Despite not being somebody who could reasonably be described as "getting out much" myself, and who has been described by medical triage systems as suffering social anxiety, I actually want things to happen quickly. Not sex, because I want that to be behind the stage that you describe, the getting to know and trust them first, feeling out who they are and whether it's safe to open up to that level of vulnerability. But initial stages of dating? Absolutely, I want to meet ASAP, I want to know if t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:25 AM |
| 2 | Why do women really wait for dates? Does a woman making you wait longer for a date increase or decrease your interest?I haven't been "lucky" enough to have been exposed to this behaviour (on account of not having any potential dates to begin with), but even I have enough self respect to realise my time and mental energy is worth more than to be strung along. If such a woman were to get back to me weeks later, potentially after being "busy" with more interesting prospects, I'm not going to believe she's particularly interested. I might be inexperienced and I might be cripplingly lonely, but I have regained convi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:18 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.Yup, that tallies with my experience. Still not ready to give up, but I don't know what I'm supposed to try that's going to offer a more appropriate path/greater chance of success. If I had any idea what that was then I'd be out there trying it. In the meantime I get to either sit here being life-drainingly lonely or keep headbutting a metaphorical grinding wheel and hoping I come out without too many facial burns. As you say, after the typical "being around a lot of open, single, unencumbered p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 02:09 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.And as you said on average people do experience success. Shell shocked soliders aren’t average. Neither are people who experience 0 wins in life and 0 successes and this post was acknowledging that these people do have something that would classify them as ‘not average’ But those people wouldn't be here, would they? But there are people here, people who don't have those little wins to make life worth believing in. If they'd had that, they wouldn't even know this place exists. neurotypical people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 01:53 AM |
| 6 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.The flaws when it's not a problem of going out enough, are usually: being ugly, being poor after a certain age, being totally creepy due to a mental illness/autism. Hey, if I could be a partner to an autistic woman, I'd be happy to give that a shot and I'd still be grateful for the opportunity. I think I'm capable of a relationship with a neurotypical woman but I dont consider autistic women to be in any way "below" me, I'm aware I'm not a model of perfection and I'd be happy to work on that wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 01:34 AM |
| 10 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.There’s so many dudes on this sub who are so convinced that the second they talk to a chick they’re going to be arrested for man-crime and be sent to a feminazi re-education camp. Many of the men who express that have experienced social lives (if you can call them that) which gave them this impression through lived experience and they have every reason to suspect they'll receive negative consequences for "stepping out of line" (which, if you're an unattractive man, either physically or socially,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 01:19 AM |
| 8 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.for a woman like that, dating is obviously dangerous. OK, so you're using a specific subset of heavily traumatised and mentally broken women to justify hostility towards men who are also suffering severe long-term mental distress? Aren't we not supposed to use our minority of struggling men to describe the overall dating environment or to describe "men's" experience as a general collective? yeah i would never dispute that and i didn't say anything to the contrary Great, but trying to point a spo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 01:09 AM |
| 6 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.The journey to success is what makes the success sweet and the journey can and should be just as meaningful as the destination. Yeah, unless you're crossing a warzone of sodden trenches, razor wire, tank traps, gunfire, exploding shells, and air raids. I don't mean to cheapen the experience of being in that environment but the point I'm trying to make is that there are situations and periods of life - for some people perhaps even their entire life - where "the journey" is not and cannot be posit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 12:55 AM |
| 3 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.Lmao Yes, hilarious. Tell us more about that privilege you have whilst you run around dunking on men who don't. Exhibit A: Nice as a prerequisite for getting relationships/sex. Yeah, OK, sure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 12:48 AM |
| 15 | CMV- Men who struggle to date in today’s social climate have serious physical, social, or emotional flaws.when men deny it No we don't. You didn't see the million "nice guys" conversations around here talking about those assholes getting play? We'd have to acknowledge they exist in order to hold that position, wouldn't we? What we do dispute, however, is that we're those assholes or that women are specifically avoiding us because we're the bad guys, or because dating is too dangerous to even be around any men. That, quite obviously, is bullshit, because plenty of women are in relationships or out th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/24 12:42 AM |
| 1 | Is the the old cliché “you’ll meet someone when you’re not expecting it” true for men?Flattery is a bit far when it’s much more creepy than you’re envisioning as some girl just walks up to tee hee at you. You don't seem to understand just how little positive attention many of us get. A woman in a bar asked me for a hug once and kissed me on the cheek as it happened. I coasted on that for days. She was a fair bit older than me, probably late 40s, she was very overweight, she was dressed in clothing which more resembled a hobo than a bar patron, and her behaviour suggested she was … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 07:14 PM |
| 2 | Is the the old cliché “you’ll meet someone when you’re not expecting it” true for men?Do you want some gross, ugly, smelly chick sitting there talking to you, blocking you off from continuing on your day, and even though every social cue you’ve given says you are uncomfortable, she still asks if she can have your number. No, you wouldn’t. I'd be flattered even if I'm not interested. I'm not going to sit around all day talking about how women are fucking disgusting and need to leave me the fuck alone because I don't know if one of them is going to go psycho on me for rejecting her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 05:15 PM |
| 3 | Is the the old cliché “you’ll meet someone when you’re not expecting it” true for men?Yeah, because that's totally the same as the men here who can't be with one woman, never mind 15 or more of them. There are levels to difficult circumstances and that one isn't even remotely on the same one. You're praising a guy who already had extensive access to women whilst guys here get shat on for having none whatsoever. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 12:05 PM |
| 23 | "We need to adress men's issues, otherwise they will vote for Donald Trump!"It's unfortunate that I have little choice but to consider him one of the more positive influences on the mainstream discussion because at least he's out there getting publicity for the issue and actually speaking about it in places which aren't just online echo chambers. To be allowed to do that, however, he must frame it in a feminist-friendly light, as you said, and make it about how we can build men to better serve women and exist in systems which work best for women. That doesn't mean I hav… | /r/MensRights | 06/02/24 06:37 AM |
| 23 | "We need to adress men's issues, otherwise they will vote for Donald Trump!"Worse than that, not only are they not doing anything for the benefit of men themselves or collective society in the process, or practically applying their claims to want fairness and equality and raised quality of life for all, they can't even get doing it for the sake of political support right. I don't like that the only valid motivation seems to be to stop men building power for "the (far/alt-)right" but at least that would be better than nothing. But it's not better than nothing because for… | /r/MensRights | 06/02/24 06:23 AM |
| 6 | Is the the old cliché “you’ll meet someone when you’re not expecting it” true for men?I didn't downvote you, but if I were to speculate on why people did then I'd say that it's because the above story doesn't begin or end with anything which resembles the world most men in this sub live in. There's no "playboy" with 15 women, if they spent that time "with the boys" and "playing video games" then they'd never meet anybody and they'd likely be called out as lazy avoidant basement-dwelling incels, and there's definitely no text message saying "here's an impossibly attractive woman, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 06:09 AM |
| 13 | Is the the old cliché “you’ll meet someone when you’re not expecting it” true for men?The entire sub lacks nuance, subtlety and context. But the phrases and sentiments they're taught, which they grow up hearing as the gold standard of trying to date, those don't lack nuance, subtlety, and context? It's just a way of being able to judge somebody you don't want and justify telling them that they fucked up and not that they're just not attractive to you. It's creep vs meet cute. It's desperate wimp vs sensitive husband, it's simp vs perfect gentleman. Could be the exact same behavio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 06:02 AM |
| 26 | Is it fair to assume that being a pushy asshole works enough of the time for some men to continue behaving that way?So what happened to "being nice is a baseline"? What happened to "you have to have more than that"? What happened to "we know you're just being nice to get in our pants, quit being a nice guy and expecting us to fall for your fake-ass bullshit"? Apparently you have a hyper-tuned asshole radar when it's just some nervous guy who doesn't know quite what he's doing but is putting in a flawed but sincere effort, that guy's an irredeemable creep who you can see right though at a thousand paces. But t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/24 05:41 AM |
| 1 | Why does Polyamory get so much hate here?See, if it were like the "Holoship" episode of Red Dwarf, where the spacecraft they encounter has a sexual recreation deck and in which the culture is that it's rude to decline an offer of sex, a future in which they've collectively decided that family is actually a negative because it's too restrictive and mentally damaging, if we all agreed to that, there might be something to it. It still wouldn't be free of downsides, not without consideration for jealousy/mental health/reproductive issues, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/24 09:27 PM |
| 16 | Why does Polyamory get so much hate here?Because it's not automatically a superior solution. Greater risk of STDs and single mothers, potential for jealousy, less attention from the person you most want to be with, a hedonistic streak which doesn't necessarily appear to value emotional intimacy or respect social or biological consequences. Also, much like its Diet variety sibling, "an open relationship", it has the potential to be incredibly one-sided in that the least able of the two partners to achieve being with a variety of partner… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/24 09:15 PM |
| 5 | Incels - myth vs realityAbsolutely. The systemic reinforcing of these issues as of late, by the narrowing of the window through which you're allowed to actually communicate interest in women and relationships (or with women at all, in some cases), is only making all of that worse too. They're literally forbidding the very same men they claim to want and wish all men were like from applying in the first place. That's always been somewhat true, there's always been some kind of requirement to "put yourself out there" and … | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 08:57 PM |
| 7 | Incels - myth vs realityThe irony is that many incels end up as incels because they refuse to see sex or women as a commodity, the way a lot of other men who are in a position to take sex for granted would. Indeed, certainly a part of why I had (and continue to have) issues, because I always wanted to do things right and not just shove my own wants and needs out there and act as though sex was a foregone conclusion. Turns out you often have to do that in order to get any sexual attention in the first place. That's now … | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 08:02 PM |
| 1 | Incels - myth vs realityThat's literally exactly what it means, by dictionary definition, as agreed by Oxford, Cambridge, Collins, and Merriam-Webster. The fact that it's been extended to mean "anything (even that which is factual or free of offensive bias) which makes a woman feel even the most mild discomfort" is part of the problem. Just the same as the definition of sexual misconduct being extended to mean "he looked at me", "he spoke to me", "he offered me a drink", "he asked me out" is part of the problem. If you… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Incels - myth vs realityWell, quite. | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 07:10 PM |
| 9 | Incels - myth vs realityyou can survive your whole life without sex Yes, but at what cost and how much shorter is that life going to be? Stress is serious shit and being subjected to a complete lack of intimacy is incredibly stressful, it's a crucial part of most people's lives and it's important to wellbeing. That's before you even get to the likelihood that they're going to intentionally end their lives earlier because they feel so alienated and purposeless. To counter the specific thing you said, it's like eating a … | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 01:21 PM |
| 2 | Incels - myth vs realityAs another comment said, that would be a misogynist. But incel does not equal misogynist and misogynist does not equal incel. There is some overlap, as there is between any other two groups who may have subsets which share traits. But that's all it is: a subset. An incel is an incel, a misogynist is a misogynist, a person may be both but need not necessarily be both in order to fit one of those labels. There are plenty of incels (and men who fit the original definition of the term but do not use… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 11:18 AM |
| 10 | Incels - myth vs realityJust legalize prostitution. Sugar relationship is legal too. Problems solved. No, problem not solved. Because the problem isn't just being unable to stick your dick in things, it's a complete lack of romantic and sexual agency, it's a complete lack of intimacy and connection, it's severe mental health impacts from never experiencing even a facade of being loved or appreciated. Paying for it only reinforces the sense that you're such a useless sad unwanted failure that the only way you can achiev… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 11:07 AM |
| 32 | Incels - myth vs realityThis is a huge part of it, I don't think anybody really understands (or makes any effort to understand) just how many references there are in everyday life to sex, sexuality, relationships, family, and physical appearance. It's not just "boo hoo, can't get his dick wet", it's psychological torture, endorsed and justified by just about everybody and everything. Peers, parents/siblings/other family, advertising, music, TV, movies, institutions, the economy... It's naturally going to be easier to i… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:58 AM |
| 8 | Incels - myth vs realityIt is arguably a misnomer, but the implication is that the sex would come with being wanted and, for many, it would include the relationship most would expect to accompany it. There are multiple groups but what it comes down to in the end is being capable of having the agency to engage with sex and intimacy the way you feel you need to. For some that might be the availability of casual sex, for others it would be building a family on top of a committed long-term monogamous relationship. But in b… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:47 AM |
| 5 | Incels - myth vs realityBlack pill would be the belief that, unlike the red pill, you can't escape being born to be a loser. That no amount of money or changing your dress sense or going to the gym can make up for not having the right shape/size body. That it's game over the second you're born and that's that, nothing you can do, no point making any effort, you're doomed to perpetual failure and unending loneliness. That nobody, no woman, will ever love you or want you, for any reason. That you're intrinsically repulsi… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:36 AM |
| 2 | Incels - myth vs realitya lot of self identified incels do really have problems with misogyny. ...and? That's not the defining factor in being an incel. The defining factor is wanting a relationship but seeing no way of achieving that. Misogyny is already its own problem, it already has people trying to solve it (on behalf of women, of course), treat the men who are expressing (real, not imagined) misogyny as appropriate. But the problem of social disconnect and severe life-destroying lack of intimacy, that's a differe… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:30 AM |
| 2 | Incels - myth vs realityWhy would it matter whether they did or not? Clearly there's a spectrum of behaviour, attitudes, and beliefs within the incel community (confirmed by interviews and research) which spans "I'm a bit sad and lonely" to "fuck the world, I'm going out all guns blazing" (quite literally, in a very very very tiny minority of cases). Off the bottom end of that spectrum are men who are just as lonely but who do not use the word (some may not even know what it means). They are in just as bad a situation,… | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:27 AM |
| 18 | Incels - myth vs realityOriginally it was created by a Canadian woman in the 90s who set up her own little online community for - literally - involuntary celibates, people who wanted intimate relationships but could not get them. Then it became a subculture adopted by men, which brought with it a culture of... "unmoderated speech", from communities online where it was the done thing to try and be edgy, to push boundaries of humour, to compete to be the most offensive. The original meaning still applied, but it was now … | /r/MensRights | 05/02/24 10:16 AM |
| – | Average men struggle because standards of living have raised in the past 20 years and average is no longer good enough for anythingThis, is house from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It was considered a mega mansion in the 90s. This is the house they used for the reboot in 2022. Fewer people today consider the first house impressive. Now when people think of a mansion, they think of where the Kardashians live That new Fresh Prince house looks exactly like the set of a reality show, not even remotely achievable for anybody but the most absurdly rich and famous, some 0.1% level thing. To most people that would be unthinkably lavish … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/24 05:14 PM |
| – | In the west, if you haven’t had one girlfriend or boyfriend by 25, something is probably severely wrong with youI'm offended? You're the one who made the post, you're the one who seems to dedicate so much time to seeking out people to shit on, why should it bother you so much? Why are you here instead of out there "living your best life"? Doesn't seem to be that you're having the greatest time yourself, does it? Otherwise you'd be out there living it up, not slumming it with us "losers". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/24 04:31 PM |
| – | In the west, if you haven’t had one girlfriend or boyfriend by 25, something is probably severely wrong with youHello, autistic man here, fully qualified to tell you and your elitist, arrogant, ableist, "fuck you, I got mine" attitude to take a long walk off a short pier. You know damn well that your post is nothing more than offensive bait, because that's why they're here talking about it, because they know it's abnormal and troubling. In fact, I clicked through to your recent comments and you seem to enjoy "telling it like it is" to all manner of groups of people down on their luck or who have ended up … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/24 04:19 PM |
| 7 | Men do not have high beauty standardsIndeed, once again it's the same argument-in-reverse double standard. You get some guy saying "women only want buff male movie stars under 40, like [example]", another woman will say "I don't find that movie star attractive, don't speak for me, don't tell me what my preferences are, you just want to be able to call me picky". At this point it's just become so absurd that they will literally do the things they chastise us (needlessly) for, openly, loudly, and either they can't see it or they expe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/24 01:47 AM |
| 1 | Men do not have high beauty standardsMen who say Margot Robbie are mid are simply manipulative scumbags. Are you competing to make the most outlandish baseless statements? You pulled this from nowhere, you're just trying to put words next to each other which convey the message "men bad" in new and different ways. None of it actually means anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/24 01:43 AM |
| 2 | Men do not have high beauty standardsMen like me, eh? Yes, men like me. Men you know fucking nothing about. Meanwhile, those same women bitch about Tate and Peterson being disgusting out of touch old world misogynists influencing our vulnerable youth? Same shit, different gender. If you're going to do it, at least fucking own it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 09:47 PM |
| 3 | Men do not have high beauty standardsWhat the fuck is illogical about "this girl lives in my town, goes to my school, has the same social class and life experiences I do, and likes the things I like"? That's less logical than wanting to be with a woman who lives in another country, has never been to a single place you've been, has truckloads of adoring fans, money, and influence, couldn't care less about anything I enjoy, and doesn't even know that I exist as one of the billions of people who might buy a ticket to see her movies"? … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 09:43 PM |
| 6 | Men do not have high beauty standardsThe reason they're doing it is because the only time they see women is in the context of pornagraphic content they consume. You ought to take up farming, because it's the only way anybody's going to accept spraying that much bullshit about the place. I'm so fucking tired of hearing these strawmen and projections, these justifications for calling men assholes and bigots, when you can't even get your own standards straight. You just come up with answers to fit your ideological stances. That's it. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 09:37 PM |
| 5 | Men do not have high beauty standardsHowever, I can imagine a young girl in her teens would take personal offense to seeing comments like this online. To be blunt, I don't give a fuck about some hypothetical teenage girl getting bent out of shape because a bunch of bitter middle-aged women have decided that the fact of the matter is that men have astronomical standards. That's exactly the same thing women complain about when young men look to middle-aged shills and charlatans. It's hyperbolic nonsense based on flawed premises pushe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 08:45 PM |
| 8 | Men do not have high beauty standardsBut that still wouldn't explain why men here "can't get their dicks wet" because the guy who does do that, and succeeds, makes an entire strategy out of fucking women who don't meet his standards (for a relationship... if he's even interested in one to begin with). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 08:38 PM |
| 10 | Men do not have high beauty standardsIt’s funny, the idiots here who love to go on about how men’s standards are too high They'll flip-flop like a fish on a trampoline according to what it is they want to "prove". "Men have ridiculous standards, they think Margot Robbie is mid lol!" one minute and "men would fuck anything with a hole, of course we don't want a piece of that, they don't see us as people!" the next. They can't both be true, can they? Yes, yes, I know, "it could be different women saying those things", but even if I w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 08:18 PM |
| 3 | Men do not have high beauty standardsYeah, it's like the women who say "well just go and be gay then". It takes the idea of having standards and preferences to an absurd extreme, to a place where you can't have a reasonable discussion about it, because they'll throw stupid ideas and solutions at you which no normal person would consider to be sane interpretations of the question or situation. Obviously the unspoken parameters are "approximately within my age group" and "not 500lbs". They would be for anybody, unless there's some un… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 08:12 PM |
| 0 | Men do not have high beauty standardsThe fact that you (and others) keep raising this like it's some massive ultimate universe-ending cast iron 4D chess-grade proof that men are either lying sacks of shit or in possession of standards higher than the moon demonstrates exactly how much you don't get it. It's more than likely you don't want to get it either. I've explained, time and time again, with perfectly reasonable, sensible, understandable explanations as to why a man might say that without meaning what you think they mean and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 07:51 PM |
| 2 | Why does no one link stats or supporting evidence for their positions?Oh man that sucks I'm really glad you got out of that, and I hope things get better! I'm glad you engage on this sub regardless, that must be hard sometimes. Thanks. It's certainly not easy, but when you have no outlet it has to go somewhere, and I might as well be helping get the message out that there are men out there who are disadvantaged, do need help, and are being unfairly vilified and shamed for things which weren't their fault. Yeah, this is one reason why I made this post. Sadly it doe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 01:26 PM |
| 1 | Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are strugglingIf you are earning at least £35k That's not as trivial as you make it out to be. That's an average, so there are going to be millions of people living on (sometimes very much) less than that. For a lot of people it's not at all easy to just "get" a job which pays that. I'm in a professional career and I don't even get that, I've looked around for other jobs, even in London, and unless you're some long-term expert who can practically run the company single-handedly it's difficult to break £35-40k… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 01:10 PM |
| 3 | Why does no one link stats or supporting evidence for their positions?I don't know which experiences you're referring to, but if that's true that's totally fair. I don't like double-posting but I forgot to answer this and I think it's probably important context: I've grown up autistic and subject to an abusive and simultaneously neglectful and controlling family which I was unable to escape for many years of adulthood, which crushed my agency/self-esteem/confidence and progress in life in general to dust. Not every man has those specific issues, or to the same lev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 12:40 PM |
| 4 | Why does no one link stats or supporting evidence for their positions?Yeah I agree for a lot of conversations here you need a willingness to roll in the mud to see it through. I don't think anybody would disagree I've certainly done my share of that. Not that it ever results in satisfactory understanding, but just as people say about dating: if you do nothing then there's a zero chance of success, if you do something then there's a non-zero chance of success. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 12:34 PM |
| 4 | Why does no one link stats or supporting evidence for their positions?For the things I talk about: Because a lot of the negative experiences and their causes are poorly researched, and tend to be encountered by underappreciated and frequently dismissed minorities, so are unusual/personal and undocumented... ...and because even when I do provide stats I'm talked over, ignored, insulted, invalidated, and blamed anyway, so people clearly don't want to acknowledge or understand those people and experiences. Because it's an uncomfortable, unpleasant, troubling existenc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 11:36 AM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseWhy is this discussion always worse than pulling teeth? You just can't leave the idea that they deserve to get socially savaged, can you? It shouldn't take more than a couple of braincells and a similar number of seconds to think "why yes, I can imagine that somebody who was perpetually behind in life, unfairly treated, socially excluded, and potentially abused might need the opposite of that in order to turn out healthy". But everything has to be an argument. "They don't want help". "It's their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 04:56 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseThe attitude comes honestly. It’s not like people are calling for a genocide of all lonely men, but if your loneliness manifests in antisocial actions (i.e. harassment) then bye-bye, sympathy. You get judged by your actions in this real world. They (and I) never got sympathy or encouragement or help in the first place, that's the problem, there was never any to be ungrateful for, or to lose. Have you ever harassed? Have you ever called for violence? Have you ever done anything harmful to others?… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 03:52 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseI'm not suggesting you're wrong, I just don't happen to have enough facts in hand to verify what you're saying, so I didn't want to jump on the "yeah, this is what happens when you let a woman run the country" train without justification (in this particular context - obviously I'm aware there are plenty of other reasons people hate(d) her). I can't say it strikes me as something she wouldn't do, I very much believe she would. But I'd rather be reasoned about coming to that conclusion, with actua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 03:31 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseYou know, I hadn't actually considered that angle. Could be a coincidence for all I know, I'm not familiar with the exact policy decisions which led to O-Levels being replaced by the apparently girl-friendly GCSEs, but now that you mention it, that does seem rather suspicious. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 03:05 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseThey'd be less inexperienced, socially inept, confused, frustrated, and angry if they didn't as often run into people with attitudes like yours, people who willingly exclude them and write them off as disgusting no-hopers who don't deserve help or understanding or inclusion. They're not born misanthropes and bitter antagonists, they're trained to be that way by the ways other people (mis)treat them, they have too little experience of positive interaction with other people and it causes them to s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 02:53 PM |
| 4 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?Stop treating sex like some kind of chore or special slut relationship status. I'm not the one doing that, you are. I consider it to be a deeper extension of a close relationship with somebody I already have feelings for. You're the one talking about it as though it's unconnected to that and simply a mechanical act that men wish to do with women they don't care about. If you're sick of being pumped and dumped, take that up with the asshole that's doing the pumping and dumping, not me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 02:07 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseLess lonely men + less harassed women. But also a less human, cohesive, symbiotic society. So no, ultimately not that much of a win, not if we expect to continue to benefit from the idea that if we all work together for our collective future then we're ultimately better off. That's what society is. If you silo every individual into their own little consumption room and give them no reason to be around each other (and plenty of reasons to not want to be around each other), that removes any reason… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:02 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseThank you. I appreciate the rare acknowledgement that there may be a profound point to be made about men's vision for their lives in the face of having no prospects and, in many ways, being demoted to the rank of disgruntled pack mules rather than equal and important members of society. It's a key component, I feel, in why many here have a distaste for modern feminism and cultural attitudes. Having experienced that sense of bleak worthlessness I think it's quite understandable that they do. They… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:50 PM |
| 6 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?No, I haven't seen it. But that clip doesn't resemble my experience, I really was treated with disrespect, hostility, and exclusion for large parts of my social development, and so were many other men who talk about these things. That has a domino effect throughout adulthood. I enjoy being friends with women (during the times in my life where I've had the opportunity to do so), I don't have to be able to fuck them in order for that to be the case, I appreciate the different vibe of hanging out w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:42 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseYoung men 'opting out' is very similar to labour strikes but with one major difference. Labour strikes are most effective when the people striking offer vital services to society that we simply can't go without. Unfortunately most men choosing to opt out aren't being relied upon for anything in the first place, so their striking is likely to be ineffective and just ends up hurting them in the end. Sure, as I said, it's not very impactful when it's a disparate sprinkling of men who share no indus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:27 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseDropping out of society is a kind of rebellion I guess, but rebellions usually involve an effort to change the current situation into one that is more favourable to you. Otherwise it's just giving up rather than rebellion, right? Depends how you look at it. Labour union strikes are a form of (temporary) "dropping out", but they're done with the aim of denying that labour to those who profit from it, so that they're inclined to come to a resolution to resume production and thus continue to profit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:06 PM |
| – | Men have already lost the gender war and it's bound to get worseYou seem to be quite content to hand-wave away the idea that any of this might present a problem, with this casual, immature, blinkered, short-termist "sucks to be you lol" attitude that so many women share, which says all I need to know about your view as to whether or not there should be any effort put into fixing it and why. Consequently it also indicates how seriously I should take your opinion, given that you seem quite uninformed about how and why it should be a concern. There's evidence, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 11:56 AM |
| 1 | Could you discuss what loneliness means to you in your own words? Can you describe a few of your own experiences and feelings with loneliness?Perpetual gut-wrenching emptiness, isolating and paralysing alienation, misery-inducing disconnection from society. A sense of irreparable malfunction in which everything tells you that you should be able to interact deeply with other humans just like you but which, in practice, does not seem possible beyond a fleeting, shallow, superficial, and constantly unfulfilling level. A hopeless infinite distance between you and the next nearest person, even though there are entities which appear to be p… | /r/MensRights | 31/01/24 06:44 AM |
| 3 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?If you aren't seeing any signs like that, you aren't taking a risk, that implies it could work out. It can't. You should be taking a called shot where it's pretty likely you already know the answer is likely to be yes based on the above. Oh look, it's "rot in the corner waiting for the sign nobody's going to give you" again! I'm sure that'll go down well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 06:30 AM |
| 4 | [STUDY] There exists a positive correlation between being a bully and success in dating and sexual relationshipsBecause there's nothing weird or dehumanising or objectifying about a disembodied penis, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 06:28 AM |
| 1 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?This is also consistent with your opinion as expressed in your past comments Consistent with your warped interpretation of my opinion as expressed in my past comments. Which you've never got right and continue to use to blame me for shit I don't believe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:31 AM |
| 4 | [STUDY] There exists a positive correlation between being a bully and success in dating and sexual relationships”My sex dolls are a lot nicer.” Ick. Meanwhile, women have enough vibrating penises in their panty drawers to shake the world off its axis, and that's praised as important self-discovery, healthy sexual exploration, and taking charge of her access to pleasure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:29 AM |
| 6 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?I don't care how cold women have treated you, being friendly is not a signal. If you live as a homeless person and nobody gives you a single penny or crumb of bread or match to stay warm with, then somebody comes by with 20 of your preferred western currency, a cup of hot soup, and a blanket, you'd think they were exceptional and that they (in a world of other people who don't) actually cared about you. They're making an effort nobody else makes. They gave you things nobody else ever gave you. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:26 AM |
| 4 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?Given that your response has nothing to do with what I said I'm going to assume you have no reasonable answer to give and that, once again, you're simply playing "man bad no matter what". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:07 AM |
| 4 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?2 if you have feelings see if she's giving signals that you should ask her out. Step 3 is entirely predicated on the answer to both parts of step 2. Only when the answer is yes to both parts should you make your play. To a lot of men, because of how they're treated and how they experience mostly coldness in life, a woman being friendly is a signal that she cares about and wants you more than most. What do you expect, a lapdance before you think it's OK to admit you like her more than that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:04 AM |
| 12 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?But it's spoken about as though it's "his fault", as though he was just trying to get sex at any (even unreasonable and pointless) cost. You might be hurt, but how do you think he feels, having been forced to be the one to raise the subject, to make himself vulnerable, to open himself up to these accusations of "never liking me anyway" and "only ever thinking about sex", simply because he cared enough to ask if you'd like to take it further? He doesn't get out of this unscathed either. He lost a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 01:00 AM |
| 7 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?If, when you discover that there's no chance of sex or relationship happening, you decide that the friendship is useless, it seems like you didn't actually want to be friends. Yes, because there couldn't be anything bad or unhealthy about subjecting yourself to being around a person you have unreciprocated feelings for, could there? You can't just turn those feelings off or throw them in the bin, you care about the person, you want to give them more emotional and physical closeness than they wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:56 AM |
| 10 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?By definition he's clearly tried to get to know you as a person, that's why you think the two of you are friends: because he didn't rock up, day one, pull his cock out, and demand you get to work on it. He tried to do the right thing, tried to treat you as a complete individual, he now knows you well enough to think he'd like to take the relationship further, and you're telling him he's an asshole for doing that because... you prefer that he just shows up unannounced and treats you like a sentie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:43 AM |
| 1 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?If that were true then we'd just say fuck the friendship stage and just try and get you into bed the first time we meet you. Do you want men to care or not? Make your mind up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:39 AM |
| 5 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?Who wouldn't want their relationship partner to be somebody they're already good friends with? Who better to feel comfortable around than someone you already know well, know you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you, with whom you probably already share interests? That's your compatibility meter pre-filled, you've already reached several stages into what could become a relationship. Why would you want to go and throw yourself at random women (who you'll be told you can't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:30 AM |
| 22 | How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants?either say it about people who just fake friendship while just wanting to fuck,or are quite harsh for no reason after a friendship didn't successfully became a relationship The problem here is that in the current social climate, after years of "always listen to/believe all women or be considered a sleazy predatory asshole", is that these judgements are made a) by external people, b) without context/benefit of the doubt, c) with an anti-male bias, d) with intent to imply that failure and punishme… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/24 12:22 AM |
| 3 | Are women not getting approached anymore?The sad thing is I am still jealous that you can just down load tinder and just make a commitment to go on 50 dates in 50 days and find the guy you have a connection with and enter into a form of happiness that is just not available to guys like me. I'm not saying the OP is guaranteed to be drowning in a tidal wave of semen the moment she signs up to an OLD app, but... yeah. That's the most basic of things, other than "go touch grass/put yourself out there" (which she also doesn't seem to be doi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:54 PM |
| 13 | Are women not getting approached anymore?most of us care about women enough not to bother them in public just to get our dick wet. Funny thing for me is that the only reason I've ever considered cold approaching a woman is... to hang out. You know, go out alone, have a couple of drinks, realise it's not going anywhere, the place is full of groups of women distinctly uninterested in me or what I'm doing (who are probably significantly younger than me anyway), I see a woman walking past who's more my style and think "it would be super co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:23 PM |
| 6 | Are women not getting approached anymore?But then again, i dance my ass off on the weekends with half of my tits out. Strangely enough that approach tends not to work as well for men. Moobs don't get quite the same reaction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:18 PM |
| 2 | Why do so many female offenders get a boyfriend/husband easily?But the thing is. They really don’t. I don’t get approached, some girls I know do get approached. They do, you're just looking in the wrong places. Do you want shallow men who will hit on anyone and everyone, who run around Insta throwing out DMs to see who's DTF? If you do then I can't help you. But if you want men who are more respectful, more down to earth, and not swimming in women far more attractive than you, more realistic prospects, then that's not where you're going to find them. This i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Are women not getting approached anymore?I’ve seen movie stars even go around and approach backgrounds to either date or hookup as well. Well, yes. You're talking highly confident people with practice in projecting and promoting themselves (as actors) or people who are used to being listened to and acted on behalf of (as writers, directors, producers, etc). Of course they're going to be able to put themselves out there, that's what they do, that's their entire life, it's how they're even in the industry to begin with. That doesn't repr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:47 PM |
| 24 | Are women not getting approached anymore?For a man, that's like a kiss of death to be labeled a creep. In multiple ways, too. It'll potentially fuck with your social standing (which is especially bad if you never had much of one to begin with) and it'll fuck with your mental health to know that's how you're perceived (by her and potentially others around, who may be in your peer group, when she tells everybody how hilarious your failed attempt was/how disgusting your desperation was/how scarily creepy you were). Then, if you have to tr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:26 PM |
| 20 | Are women not getting approached anymore?So if you don’t really go to places where approaching is more acceptable (bars for example) then it’s not surprising that guys don’t approach. Some women even say that's inappropriate (for men), because it's still objectifying and she's only there to hang out with her gal pals without being bothered by some lecherous thirsty loser trying to get her drunk. Which, of course, essentially guarantees that the only men who will in that situation are the ones who are just interested in a quick fuck and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:22 PM |
| 5 | Are women not getting approached anymore?The women who have said it (and have commented on what they think of men who disobey those rules) have done so with the force of threats behind it. Some of them have considerable reach and potential social/political influence. Listening to a woman saying "hey, I'm different, you can approach me" without any guarantee that she means it, any indication of which one of the millions of women she is, and with the looming threat of humiliation, shame, and social punishment (including but not limited t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:18 PM |
| 6 | Are women not getting approached anymore?As the other reply to you said, some of us men have been on dating apps for weeks, months, years without a date (or potentially even a conversation) to show for it. You have the upper hand there, there's more of us than there are of you and we're more likely to include you in our "yes" pile. You're far more likely to get a match than we are because you're more in demand and you're ultimately the deciding factor. Yet we're told that we're not going far enough out of our way, we're not putting in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:12 PM |
| 3 | Are women not getting approached anymore?Yeah, I was thinking that too. Seems like a job where you'd likely be around a lot of people who have money and options, who have the luxury of being able to casually pick and choose. Maybe try the floor runner, not the director or the actor. Or go somewhere more likely to have "normal" people there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:01 PM |
| 2 | Are women not getting approached anymore?The only universally accepted space I know of would be OLD, which is widely known to suck a whole lot for men who aren't very good at it (ie: photogenic and good at social media photos). Women still complain about men there too. Crap photos, crap profiles, crap conversation skills, too forward, not forward enough, dick pics, and so on. Then there's speed dating, which I've considered but not yet tried (I hear less than stellar things about the companies which run them and the level of attendance… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 03:55 PM |
| 2 | Are women not getting approached anymore?The only universally accepted space I know of would be OLD, which is widely known to suck a whole lot for men who aren't very good at it (ie: photogenic and good at social media photos). Then there's speed dating, which I've considered but not yet tried (I hear less than stellar things about the companies which run them and the level of attendance and service I should expect for my money), that's about the only 100% OK IRL space. Then you get clubs/pubs/bars, where you can't know they're open to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 03:54 PM |
| 6 | Are women not getting approached anymore?Bump into me at a grocery store, help me pickup my oranges and overly expensive avocados, tell me I have pretty eyes with a cheeky smile while you're done putting them back in my basket. ...and potentially get called a creep who won't leave women alone when they're trying to get their daily business done, who thinks it's appropriate to hit on them anywhere and everywhere, who can't not think with his dick for 5 minutes, who must objectify any women in any place, and get splattered across Reddit … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 03:38 PM |
| 5 | It’s become socially acceptable in America for women to lie about sexual abuseYou'd have to be pretty far up McMahon's ass to be defending him at this point, as a (now more casual) wrestling fan myself I know for a fact that most people who are aware of the wrestling industry, both fans and those who work in it, acknowledge him to be a nasty, lying, manipulative, egotistical, controlling, abusive, toxic piece of shit in just about every way it's possible to be one. He's barely escaped scandal after scandal and he's finally hit the end of the road. That's not to say I don'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 03:07 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many female offenders get a boyfriend/husband easily?Just like in subs where women basically beg to have it confirmed that they're ugly (even when they're clearly not), there are men who would give their right nut to be the guy who gives you those things you say you lack and makes you feel special. Although they're often told they're lazy stinking ignorant misogynists and predators for saying as much. I don't know you, I don't know what you look like, but it's incredibly irritating to know that there are men in this sub (and many, many more elsewh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 02:36 PM |
| 1 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?You don't seem to be engaging with what I'm saying, you're just projecting opinions and beliefs upon me which I do not hold. I don't know what erectile dysfunction has to do with anything if a person can't even get a partner in the first place. I didn't say anything about AI. I said VR. Virtual reality videos of real women which are presented in 3D, like a 3D movie that you can look around in. Either prerecorded like a DVD or live streaming cam shows. I didn't "advocate for" porn, I suggested th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 02:11 PM |
| 2 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?So would I. But I am one of those lonely men, I know what it's like to live with that every day and have done for decades. I don't approve of the discussions where blackpillers gleefully cheer on the impending robot revolution, I think that sounds incredibly dystopian and potentially very unhealthy, for the individual and for society, and I think it has as much potential (or more) to be abused by corporations willing to exploit loneliness as a source of income as online dating. Porn and AI girlf… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 01:05 PM |
| 2 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?I was merely pointing out that it’s weird to automatically suspect porn addiction when there’s endless possibilities men can struggle in dating. I agree and have commented in this thread saying as much. I don’t like my partners watching porn Right, but that's a different situation. I'm not going to judge how much of your decision I think it should be whether they watch porn, of course in a relationship that's for you both to come to an agreement/understanding/compromise on, for the sake of that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 12:39 PM |
| 6 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?I have some news for you all, every 13-14 year old kid was hiding in the bathroom rubbing one out to hustler and “Swedish Erotica” catalogues in the early 80’s. In the UK it's a common meme (for millennials and older) to refer to "the magazine in the hedge" or "the porn in the woods", because for some reason that's where you'd find it hidden. Scraps or pages or entire magazines/catalogues stashed away, presumably by other people who didn't want their porn to get discovered in the house. That's a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 12:22 PM |
| 3 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?The other end of that potential scenario is that many men who use porn do so because they have literally nothing else, despite wanting it. Porn doesn't/can't provide a sense of connection or emotional intimacy, it's not really designed to (although parasocial streamer/OnlyFans content can potentially offer the illusion of it, to some extent), but you still have a drive to do something. It's unsatisfying and frustrating to use porn to fill that gap but we're still human, we still seek intimacy, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 12:00 PM |
| 30 | Does it annoy anybody else how those speaking up for male issues are often really conservative?They're more likely to give messages of encouragement and aspiration. Even if it's rhetoric for their own political gain and they can't or won't back it up with actual help and support. Rather than "no, don't, ever, you're wrong, you're filthy, you're disgusting, your sexuality is offensive, you're dangerous, you're violent, you're barely human, you must be constained and controlled and lectured at about the thousand ways we barely tolerate your existence, and you certainly don't deserve to be s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/01/24 06:06 AM |
| 4 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?It wouldn’t matter if 99% of people got to do it and you didn’t. But it does. Because that shapes their expectations of the world and their life-to-be and it shapes the expectations of those around them too, which contributes to the negative feeling and potentially deadly depression which results. Somebody else in this thread used the word "loser". Perhaps not the worst word they could've used, in this context, but still indicative of what people think of you when you can't achieve relationships… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:58 AM |
| 8 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?I'll be honest, I don't think it's worth continuing this serious a conversation with somebody who discusses it with responses containing multiple instances of "LMAO". I'm speaking from a place of experience too and I know damn well it's a hell of a lot more serious and important to me, and other men like me, than anything containing "LMAO". Words matter. You say "loser", I say "somebody who is in need of help, direction, encouragement, and compassion". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:37 AM |
| 1 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?Frankly I don't know, if I did I'd be able to teach myself, because my father sure didn't. But if I had to drag something out of my experience, I'd say treating the kid like he's got potential, like he matters, like he's going places would be a good start. General encouragement. Don't overdo it and come across like a needy, controlling, cringeworthy, interfering parent, but give appropriate praise and direction when it's appropriate, and treat him like an adult who's worth something and can make… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:34 AM |
| 4 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?How would you even know he was if the first thought (which I see was not your comment, but the one we're talking about) is "must be addicted to porn"? Besides which, if you knew your parents were so hardcore against you watching sexual content, what else are they disapproving of? Would you want to tell those parents you were gay? Would you want word getting back to them, because you were seen with a guy? You may not even know you're gay yourself, so you might not just happen to be around other m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:21 AM |
| 3 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?They can figure things out This sub proves otherwise, for a multitude of reasons. I'm not about to sit here and tell you how good a parent you may or may not hypothetically be, but that level of disinterest or apathy is incredibly damaging to kids who need the support and understanding. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:17 AM |
| 12 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?See, you can say this if your kid doesn't become a famous actor, or a billionaire tycoon, or the president, because those are things people expect to be rare occurrences, unusual privileges and roles which you have to have exactly the right conditions/upbringing/resources/backing to achieve. But this casual "ah well, not everybody reproduces" attitude disregards the fact that most people at least get some amount of intimacy in their lives. It's not some weird special unique or rare privilege, it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 05:09 AM |
| 13 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?This is why we should encourage all our kids to do a sport and some kind of other social activity so they don’t end up unsocialized losers. Two points here: You need to be careful about pushing kids to be part of team sports they don't enjoy or may be being bullied for not being very good at, especially if it's at school and it's mandatory. That's a miserable experience which can put them off sport/exercise and damage their ability to achieve adequate social status. That you're willing to call t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:54 AM |
| 9 | How big of a concern would it be for you if your children/potential children reached adult age without any romantic success?Ain't no way a teenage hormone filled male is avoiding women Why would you assume that right out of the gate? How are people so blind to the possibility that there are circumstances in life which just make this very difficult to achieve or troublesome for the individual to find their way in? What if it turned out that your child was mildly autistic? Or badly bullied? Or gay and too confused or scared to let on? You gonna get on him for being a nasty porn addict regardless? I can't comprehend bei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 04:47 AM |
| 8 | Q4W: Who is the most romantically/sexually unsuccessful woman you know? What’s their personality like? Describe her.That's unfortunate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/24 08:50 PM |
| 8 | Q4W: Who is the most romantically/sexually unsuccessful woman you know? What’s their personality like? Describe her.she cracks the shit and screams at them and they dump her. Yeah. That'll do it. Sounds like she could probably use some, uh, "self-improvement"? (I say that flippantly because PPD, but seriously, sounds like she could use some therapy, no?) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/24 06:21 PM |
| 3 | Q4W: Who is the most romantically/sexually unsuccessful woman you know? What’s their personality like? Describe her.Oh well, I'm down. Anyone got her number? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/24 06:19 PM |
| 11 | Should MRAs acknowledge and call out a$$hole behaviour by other men and boys?Unless there's some specific incident of relevance (of which this is not an example), why should men spend the little attention they get on trying to defend against accusations of something we're not rather than pursuing what we actually want? | /r/MensRights | 29/01/24 04:48 PM |
| 8 | Should MRAs acknowledge and call out a$$hole behaviour by other men and boys?Would you be more sympathetic towards feminists if they call out misandry? Given that they currently have the cultural and legal advantage, they have a greater responsibility to do that, and yet they don't. I think it's pretty clear that this isn't a fair fight and that reasonable, logical, compromising behaviour is not going to win anybody any points. I certainly wish it did, because I've always been an egalitarian pacifist, but this is where we are. Doesn't matter how level-headed, calm, restr… | /r/MensRights | 29/01/24 04:45 PM |
| 16 | Should MRAs acknowledge and call out a$$hole behaviour by other men and boys?I'm not sure what this has to do with "MRAs". As the other commenter said, people are assholes. I could point to boys and girls (well, now men and women, but boys and girls at the time) who bullied me when I was that girl's age, quite significantly. It was unfortunate in my case and tragic in hers. But those specific people were assholes. I don't attribute their behaviour to some ideology or social movement, I attribute it to them, as people. I certainly don't attribute it to their gender. Which… | /r/MensRights | 29/01/24 04:34 PM |
| 15 | Therapy most of the time doesn't work for men, and here's why.You do have to seek out and pair with a therapist that works with you on this level. I imagine a lot of people simply go the therapist they can afford or one that is assigned by a certain organization/entity. If you do not “shop around,” you’re going to get a more “factory approved” type of treatment. But that's part of the problem. Who, especially when trust issues and prior abuse may be involved, can afford to spend that amount of mental resources (alongside dealing with the rest of what life … | /r/MensRights | 29/01/24 01:27 AM |
| 3 | Men want new pussy very quickly after getting a girl (no matter how good the sex is) and they don’t like admitting it because it’s unpleasant. This makes it hard for girls to get validation from sex.Didn't you just get this thread nuked for being a rant? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/24 12:07 AM |
| – | I believe the root cause for the existence of so many incels (as in, bitter, misogynistic and aggressive guys with sexual frustrations) isn't entitlement of women's bodies. It's virgin shaming.I don't think it would be fair or reasonable to say that the only cause is virgin shaming, but it's absolutely a contributing factor. But then I wouldn't say the other reasons have anything to do with "entitlement" either. It's a perfectly normal, natural drive which can become quite intense when you don't get to exercise it, most normal people crave social contact and intimacy and many will suffer mental health impacts without it. That's known and understood, it's not some kind of deviant behav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/24 11:23 PM |
| 6 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Yup. It's incredibly cruel to tell even the most high-functioning (but still disadvantaged, underdeveloped, hurt, isolated) person that it was all their fault, all their responsibility. I try not to relate it all to autism, because there will be men who aren't/haven't been diagnosed as autistic who have similar problems, but I do think there's something to be gleaned from the understanding that so many who do suffer are, in fact, on the spectrum. It should point people to the understanding that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 11:35 PM |
| 4 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?I get it. I don't expect you to get many favourable responses, so I thought I'd at least give you that much. A lot of what you said mirrors my experiences too (although without the second part about having the relationship), so I know where you're coming from. I don't know how it is that these people can deny the effect of those around you in developing into a healthy, functional adult. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 10:19 PM |
| 7 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Yeah, the view people seem to have is that nobody except you, the person complaining, could possibly be acting negatively, behaving in a problematic way, or be expressing hatred towards you for no good reason. Even though their stance is that that's exactly what we're doing all the time. It's behaviour only attributed to people they don't like or feel would benefit them to protect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 09:41 PM |
| 3 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?You’re telling on yourself—and your algorithm. ...and my government? Threatening—I’m sorry—“raising awareness” of incel-based terrorism will only get you treated like every other terrorist. Sadder because you’re not fighting for freedom or religion, just pussy. Pathetic. I'm getting pretty fucking tired of this. Grow the fuck up, listen, and stop trying to turn everything into a threat. It fucking isn't. Shit has consequences and that doesn't have to mean anybody is threatening to make them happ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 09:38 PM |
| 8 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Another misconception you’re demonstrating is thinking that loneliness is a thing people are doing to you In some cases that's absolutely what happens. Are you suggesting some kind of sexual welfare? Where you can fill out a few forms and the government sends you a girl for you to fuck? But you don't appear to be discussing this in good faith anyway, so I won't bother to elaborate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 09:33 PM |
| 1 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Where did I say it was the only reason? You said that the reason was not because they are lonely men but that the actual reason was because they're bitter misogynists. And it would seem you no longer believe that? That I'm a feminist? No, I want nothing to do with that title or the ideological beliefs and actions frequently associated with it. I haven't stopped believing in equality and women as people though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 09:32 PM |
| 2 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?I didn't say it did. What I said was that your claim that the only reason those men get scorned is because they are misogynistic is incorrect. To which I provided a counterpoint, a scenario where I was scorned despite not being a misogynist - quite the opposite, in fact, I even considered myself to be a feminist at that point because I fully supported the idea of gender equality and women's status as perfectly valid individuals of worth and purpose. I couldn't comprehend any other possibility, I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 08:01 PM |
| 9 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?If I'm beating the shit out of you when you're lying on the ground in the fetal position, is it your "responsibility" to get up and walk away from my boot repeatedly kicking you in the guts? How do you think that's going to work? What position of power do you think you have in that situation to just decide to unilaterally resolve the situation? How are you going to exercise responsibility when you're in such a vulnerable and disadvantaged position? Clearly the person with the agency in that scen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:56 PM |
| 6 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?I don't think it would be unreasonable or incorrect to mention the distinct increase in loud support for women and women's issues, to the detriment of those troubled men. That's been a social movement now, particularly in spaces where lonely men congregate online (Gamergate forcing the issue into nerdy men's faces would be one example, this sub and other subs/forums like it would be another), for something like 20 years. I suppose you could point to some of its roots being in the mid to late 90s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:52 PM |
| 1 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?No, the issue is when lonely men start spouting misogynistic red pill bullshit and then get called out on it, those men start crying that women are "demonizing" them just for being lonely. Well then I'd like you to explain why I was bullied and socially neglected as a teenager who hadn't said or done a single thing wrong in terms of treating women as people, with respect, and having no such negative views or behaviours. When I was a teenager, there was no red pill, or blue, or black, there was n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:43 PM |
| 11 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Many of the men who have this problem have themselves been victims of bullying, abuse, hate, and neglect, they don't just decide out of nowhere to be bitter, frustrated, and angry. You talk about it being a self-perpetuating cycle, but you fail to consider or give acknowledgement to the effects and behaviours of those around them who give them reasons to be down on themselves, their situation, or other people in the first place. As to your point about it being a need, I think you fail to underst… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:29 PM |
| 0 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?I'd find it hard to believe that's what he had in mind when he made that statement. I will acknowledge that he did "explicitly state" that, however, apparently I zoned out reading that comment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:20 PM |
| 2 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?That's your bias talking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:18 PM |
| 4 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?How do you know that's the metric he was using? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:18 PM |
| 2 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Somehow I doubt that's what he had in mind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:17 PM |
| 5 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?If your march toward radicalization could be instantly stemmed by a simple adjustment of your online browsing behavior, you have no real problems. Be thankful and stop co-opting the struggles of people who can’t just tap the “back” button of their very real oppression. But it's not that simple, because it's not just radical blog posts, it's media, it's institutions, it's everywhere, you can't just not look for it because it will look for you. And threatening violence if women don’t spread their … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:16 PM |
| 7 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Indeed. I grew up being bullied by both genders, decades ago, before all this exploded. After leaving school I was able to escape the worst of that and realise that it was those specific people who were causing me those problems, not people in general. As much as it hurt, I could see I had some issues which I could potentially try to work on, although I didn't necessarily have the resources or the support to do so at the time. Now I'm much older, now that I do have resources by which to work on … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:07 PM |
| 7 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?You just seem to be using this thread as an excuse to project terrible attitudes on men who do not hold them. Besides which, some women do this too. It's not a male problem, it's a people problem. If you don't or can't acknowledge that, that's a you problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:58 PM |
| 1 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?You're going to have to justify that claim because otherwise you're just trying to discredit his points by making unreasonable and untrue claims about his beliefs and attitudes. You cannot speak for (or "remind him of") his preferences unless he has explicitly stated them. Show me a source where he has said those women are fat. (Edit: OK, yes, he did state that, I apologise. I zoned out reading his comment and took the reply to be the usual "I'm just going to make shit up about you so I don't ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:53 PM |
| 2 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?All you've done here is pointed out that both groups have within their numbers some fraction of people who are aggressive and uncouth in their attitudes. It doesn't diminish the issue that the commenter pointed out, it's not "both sides cancelling each other out", it's two issues, likely connected, which both need to be acknowledged and solved. But denying it, or "both sides"/"whatabouting" it, does nothing but perpetuate it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:52 PM |
| 2 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?"feminists" I think this is vastly underselling the influence of feminist-leaning cultural attitudes. There don't have to be an army of raging extremist "cut off men's dicks" feminists for it to be a problem or a damaging influence. Institutions and authorities are perpetuating their attitudes and teachings, shaping society in their favour, which is damaging enough even as a baseline bias against men. A constant low-level presence can be just as bad, in the end, as a single but extreme instance.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:46 PM |
| 4 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?At first, when I saw the length of your comment, I admit I thought it was going to be a lengthy haul for little benefit. But you raise some really good points and perspectives. Thank you. I appreciate my comment style may not be to everybody's taste but I believe these issues deserve and require greater thought than a couple of sassy tweets. I still think TRP and the so-called “manosphere” is mostly a boogie man taking the blame for a wider social decline which is more complicated in nature. I d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:39 PM |
| 5 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?So what I'm hearing is that we should invest in building an army of spiders? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:35 PM |
| 7 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?Except what Timmy has become is the result of his childhood, home environment, social development, education environment, prevailing cultural attitudes, and future prospects. He didn't just pop out of the womb waving banners and shouting slogans or waving a gun around, his development into who he is today was shaped by those around him. Parents, peers, teachers, authority figures, news and media, institutions. I don't claim that he has no personal responsibility to bear, but some of the responsi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:31 PM |
| 12 | (Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere?I agree that it's not some mass uprising and that the media (and sometimes authorities) are quick to blame tragic events on it whenever they get the chance to whip up a storm, but there are several reasons I still think the OP has a point: The first is that you don't have to break the law in order for it to have become a problem. Maybe you're just an bitter, selfish, antisocial asshole because of the way you've been treated. Doesn't mean you're out there committing sex offences or murdering peop… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchNo problem, thanks for the acknowledgement. 🙂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 05:03 PM |
| 2 | Men erroneously confuse being confident with being an asshole with the whole nice guy/asshole dichotomy and womenI'm happy for you though, or sorry that happened. This is everything wrong with modern discussion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 05:59 PM |
| 1 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switch‘I value <random metric> but am unmotivated to try to achieve it without external motivation’ I'd say that's true for all people in some respects. You might not be passionate about your job, but you get better at it anyway because there's money in it and it means you get to keep living in your home, right? That's a fairly universal experience, to get to enjoy your job is not a privilege which many (and I'd argue few) people get to have. Besides, I see as a compromise. That's what relationships a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 05:16 PM |
| 4 | Men erroneously confuse being confident with being an asshole with the whole nice guy/asshole dichotomy and womenSociety keeps trying to tell awkward/unconfident/unsuccessful/undesirable men that trying to seek attention, validation, inclusion, intimacy, and so on is inappropriate, that talking to women without express permission is a sin, that being sexual around a woman is a crime. When he's awkward and meek and respectful, when he's trying to colour inside the lines, they don't want him. They react poorly when he attempts the same thing other men attempt, they chastise him, humiliate him, shame him as p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 05:01 PM |
| 0 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchYou’ve probably pissed away all the care anyone was going to have for you. Ah yes, because a condescending insincere "I hope you get the help you need", as an implication that because you disagree with their worldview you are a sick individual, is absolutely "care" and not a badly disguised symbol of contempt. Don't piss on me and tell it's raining. I'm socially disadvantaged, not a gullible spineless moron. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 04:33 PM |
| 3 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchBut there are things which, to some people, don't hold value in themselves. I, for example, was never that bothered about fashion. Now, that's going to make it difficult to look appealing, I realised this and when I became able to afford to make an effort I did make that effort. I got myself a new wardrobe because I knew that would help me look and feel more confident in trying to date. I didn't do it because I felt crappy black t-shirts weren't enough, they were, but crappy black t-shirts with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 04:02 PM |
| 1 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchNo, that's seeking a professional opinion so that you don't just blurt out some harmful bullshit to the person you're concerned (or "concerned") about and make the situation worse. You're asking a) whether it requires intervention, b) how to go about that, and c) how to handle the situation safely. Just vomiting out "you're fucked in the head, buddy" without a thought to how that might affect their mental state is hideously irresponsible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 01:43 PM |
| 0 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchSame, I take pride in putting in the effort to help other people solve problems, for free, with zero expectation that they're going to reciprocate. Makes me feel good, respected, purposeful. I also like helping people out of a jam just for the sake of knowing there's one less person stuck with something that's bothering them which could be made to go away with minor effort on my part to help. Why wouldn't you? If you like when people do that for you (as rare as that might be), why not pay it for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchBeyond even that, women here often say that men aren't entitled to know why: if she says she's not interested, that's it, that's all she's obliged to do. It could be almost literally anything but she has no responsibility to tell you, because that would be intrusive and impolite and demanding extra work of her to make herself vulnerable and take the time to explain what about you is off-putting or not for her. That's assuming she doesn't reject him with a lie or lash out with some baseless insul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 01:03 PM |
| 4 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchIt's telling that you didn't get a response to this. I say that like it's news to me, but happens every time I say this too. They don't want to engage when they can't claim your opinion/attitude is "government-funded hooker drafts". Tomorrow it'll be just the same, someone claiming that your only solution is to force women to service lonely men, like you never even said what you said above at all. It's incredibly tiresome. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 12:37 PM |
| 2 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchIndeed. That's one of the things I think we need to do to improve the prospects/quality of life of men who struggle. More resources, more appropriate resources, and a better understanding of these particular issues (without the gender morality framing). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 12:30 PM |
| 0 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchAs well as it being difficult to access those services in the first place, and the majority of professionals in that position being women, you also have to remember that not every therapist (if we assume the standpoint of therapy being useful/important to men too) is appropriate for every patient/client. Some of those male therapists won't be particularly well versed in these issues, some won't use methods that work for you, some you won't trust or vibe with. So it's not just 20-25%, it's less t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 12:17 PM |
| 4 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchNot with attitudes like that you're not. The empathetic sex? Yeah, OK, sure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 12:04 PM |
| 4 | Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switchHere you go. ~15% of high-functioning men with relationships ~45% of high-functioning women with relationships Both considerably less than their neurotypical counterparts but still a massive gap between them. Ties in with the estimated ~30% of autistic people (non-gendered) in relationships. But most of them are women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/24 11:48 AM |
| 4 | Are you familiar with "RedditCareResources" and " concerned redditor reached out to us about you."? Is it a way for disgruntled people to mess up with you? Did it happen to you?Yes, I've had this as a response to things I've said that people (women) didn't like. It's not offensive to me, but it is incredibly petty and it really shows exactly how much those abuse it care about other people that they're willing to abuse such a mechanism to try and screw with their mental health. It's childish, antagonistic, vindictive, and spiteful. All over their failure to overcome whatever vulnerability it is which renders them unable to tolerate discussion which might disprove them o… | /r/MensRights | 25/01/24 12:58 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.They're not off-putting for being assholes, they are off-putting to judgemental assholes. Whole comment is great, but this line nailed it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/24 03:11 AM |
| 1 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.I bet if you didn't had to do all that to acquire that kind of skills and knowdelege, you wouldn't appreciate it today, and you wouldn't see it as a big achievement neither. Well, quite possibly, no, maybe I wouldn't have, but it doesn't really compensate for how much longer it took than it should've, given how many roadblocks that circumstances and other people had put in my way. Really, freakishly, abnormally long, to the point where it's taken me almost until middle age to be where most peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/24 12:45 AM |
| 1 | "They're only being nice because they want sex" - yeah, and there is nothing wrong with thatFor every one of you there's an opposite, and you both claim we're super offensively or hilariously wrong, both claiming to know what's up because you're women, so either way we catch shit for it. You say one thing, they say the other, both of you insist you know better than we do, so we lose. But since we're not going to just shut up and die we'll just pick one and you can live with that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 09:35 PM |
| 2 | "They're only being nice because they want sex" - yeah, and there is nothing wrong with thatWell, how do you expect us to pick the "correct" stance if either way we're wrong? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 08:45 PM |
| 2 | "They're only being nice because they want sex" - yeah, and there is nothing wrong with thatWhat also grinds my gears is men who say "men built society/the world/etc" as if they personally did anything 😂 Yet certain loud-mouth feminists are quite keen to attribute a thousand years of oppression and violence to those same men. You're going to have to pick a lane. Either men were violent and oppressive and built the world or the references to historical oppression are an unreasonably selective view of history and therefore invalid, because the men you're talking to weren't responsible fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 08:22 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Why are you putting misogynistic in scare quotes? Because definitions of "misogyny" are varied and mostly unreliable. Struggling in dating isn't a valid reason to hate women Nobody said it was. But being abused by one man isn't sufficient reason to hate all men either, yet we give allowances to women for that, we deem them to have experience which permits them to judge with authority. You don't think that every single Klansman has a "journey" to where they arrived at hating black people? Yes, I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 08:17 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.but I expect consistency. Well there is your problem. Humans aren’t robots. Well, at least you admit the double standards exist. It's not much but it's a start. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:54 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.That doesn't mean the advice they get there will work and, when it doesn't, they may well end up here, finding a need to vent about it and trying to seek some kind of understanding. But you'll call them misogynists anyway, even though they were previously in those places you deem to be more acceptable and less indicative of a personal or moral fault. Because you don't seem to like admitting that there's a journey a man takes before he arrives here, which has given him a worldview like those you … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:50 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.It is shallow. It's literally only skin (or about 5 inches) deep. You say this in defence of women's sexuality, but men are frequently told that objectification of women is bad, seeing women as holes is bad, commenting on a woman's appearance is bad, not caring about her personality and goals and passions is bad. If her sexuality is no deeper than his then either they're both right or both wrong. I don't care which one it is, but I expect consistency. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:39 PM |
| – | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.reasonable expectations That's entirely contextual and you're missing the context. To men who have already been through mental health hell and back, "reasonable expectations" are that people are selfish, shallow, ignorant, arrogant, picky, elitist, and bigoted. Because that's how people have acted towards them like in their life. Even those who most people would've said weren't any higher on the social ladder than those men are. They don't reasonably expect to get any kind of woman "the normal w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:32 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Yes, that's right, take it so literally that you can make it sound ridiculous when it was clearly meant as a point of comparison to highlight how most people aren't (or weren't) doing the thing you're telling them not to do already. You're still not taking into account that things happen to people before the point at which you meet them. You're seeing men after they've experienced years of misery, depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, bullying, exclusion, and everything else. On a forum de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:25 PM |
| 9 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.advice like “don’t be a vile misogynist” probably will improve your chances. Yes, in the same way that saying "don't be a raging alcoholic" will help you get a job. In that most people already weren't raging alcoholics in the first place so the "advice" is obvious, meaningless, and insulting. It suggests that you believe they are raging alcoholics and it's a slur on their character that you think they're expecting to be rewarded for being a highly dysfunctional, high risk applicant with no inten… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 07:11 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.I have two answers for this, one of them is reactionary and offensive and I don't think it would meaningfully contribute to the conversation. Needless to say the reason I have that answer in mind is because I don't think your comment did either. I think it was highly insensitive at best. The second, however, I will make more measured and at least attempt to stay within the spirit of good faith discussion: I have been "working on myself" for 20 years of adulthood, I have achieved more than anybod… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 06:37 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Given the first line I wrote in that comment, no, I'm not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 05:54 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.But I don't have socialization advice for a severely autistic person. I don't expect advice, I expect basic compassion and understanding that the problems are real, serious, and worthy of consideration. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 05:53 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Well said, agree with all of it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:48 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Do I have to mention autism again? Not necessarily to say that everybody who is lonely has autism, but as an example of how somebody can be seen as unwanted despite never having done anything wrong to deserve it. An exception? Perhaps. But that's no reason to disregard their experiences or pretend it's all their fault or that "self-improvement" is going to suddenly erase that which makes them who they are and why people don't take to them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:45 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.You missed the point. The point I was making was that there are external issues which you can't necessarily deal with but which are an ongoing negative effect on anything and everything you try to do to mentally overcome them. They still exist. They're having an ongoing effect. Whatever you work on can be undone in seconds if that environment is still there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:36 PM |
| 9 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.I'm sorry you went through that, as somebody else who had emotionally and physically abusive parents (and was trapped with them long into adulthood). But these stories are so numerous, in terms of voluntary (ie: non-family) relationships, that they can't all be psychopathic geniuses, can they? Even if they were, women keep talking about men being "better", but many of the men here who struggle are, or were, "better" men. Inoffensive, respectful, reserved, quiet, non-abusive, conflict-avoidant, c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:30 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.You seem to be saying that it is mostly or only the external. Because, in some cases, it is. If you're a lively, gregarious, confident, curious, outgoing person who wants to be everybody's friend and be great at lots of different cool things, but then you get abused for 10 years of your life, THAT IS VERY MUCH AN EXTERNAL PROBLEM and it cannot be solved by "just doing more hobbies" or "working on yourself" or "being happy being in your own company". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:23 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.My point is you are trying to convince the wrong people. If someone is giving you advice they want to see you succeed. You need to convince whoever you are trying to date. But, for the kinds of guys we're talking about, most people treat them as "the wrong people". If you have 100 people, 99 of which think you're a weird awkward dork who they have no interest in, and the other 1 person is hiding in the corner trying not to be seen, how's that going to play out? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:21 PM |
| 9 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.So... what? Somebody who doesn't fit into the majority of people's expectations should just give up expecting anybody to care they exist or give them any affection whatsoever? I assume the answer would be "no, find someone niche who fits you and gets who you are", but there's not a lot of chance of that happening when those other people are also likely to have been beaten into isolation and anxiety, is there? So the actual realistic likelihood of that being a successful strategy is about nil. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:19 PM |
| 9 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.If what you took from this discussion is "this guy wants to fuck teenagers and monkeys", I'm not the one who's got the problems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:06 PM |
| 7 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.What you're not acknowledging is that some people can put in a shitload of effort and still get nothing. A person can do exactly the same as another person but, due to something innate about them, even something petty or trivial or shallow, they can be harshly rejected where the other person would have somebody all over them. That's "the hard truth". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 04:00 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.So what? It's still more development and intimacy than many get, why shouldn't some aspects of those experiences be envied and desired? You think just because a monkey fucks another monkey, or a teenager fucks another teenager, that it's less valuable to their lives somehow? Those are important developmental milestones which teach you important things about being an adult. Whether they're good or not isn't the whole question, it's how much access to those critical life experiences you get and th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:59 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.would that be a healthy relationship? No, and I wouldn't want a relationship like that, in either direction. But the fact remains that in the process of experiencing those bad relationships, those people are still learning and growing and maturing more than I can without them. I agree with those who say a bad relationship is bad and, yes, in some ways worse than none at all, particularly if it's (psychologically or physically) violent. I know, I grew up with an abusive father (and mother) too. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:55 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Those teenagers, criminals, etc, are doing something that works. The hypothetical incel is not doing something that works. He (and this is especially true in autistic people) can do as close as possible to reproducing the same approach as somebody else and get an entirely different result. Also no one is worthy of someone else's body without their consent. It doesn't matter if I think you deserve intimacy, you need to convince whoever you want to date. Why do you think this was a relevant point … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:51 PM |
| 7 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.What is it? It's more "just world" claptrap, that's what it is. Which is precisely my point. You are making out as though those men are actively deficient in some way when the reality often is that, given the correct opportunities, encouragement, support, acceptance, validation, whatever the fuck else - which they do not often receive, even as a basic human courtesy, never mind an intimate relationship - they could be a greater partner than many of those who do get opportunities. But they can't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:49 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.When they have little or no experience of a fundamental human state of being which they're actively compelled by both biology and culture to pursue, yes, I can very well see why they might look on other's relationships with envy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:44 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.The people who say this are typically those with the privilege of having at least some love, care, affection, and intimacy in their lives. As I've said before: Everybody needs help to form into a fully-functional productive healthy adult. Many don't notice because it naturally occurs during their "generally not too bad" upbringing, it's a gradual learning process which "just happens". For the majority, it's not a concept anybody needs to think too hard about because they were able to just symbio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:43 PM |
| 7 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.This right here, which contains the spirit of what I was pointing out: But what is guaranteed NOT to work is all the things the struggling dudes are currently doing (or more likely: not doing). So it would be stupid as fuck to continue the current part they are on You're making assumptions about people you know nothing about other than that a) they're here, b) they're discussing difficulties finding relationships, and c) they may identify with some particular online idea about how dating works. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:33 PM |
| 9 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.It’s a necessary condition But it isn't. If it were, there would be no stories of women having a string of feckless, abusive, good-for-nothing boyfriends and baby daddies, would there? But there are. Plenty of them. Women are only too willing to rant about it as proof that men are all lazy useless shits who couldn't care less about people around them unless they're showing holes to fill. Women here have spoken about boyfriends who couldn't or wouldn't wash, or had no furniture, or had no intenti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:28 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.You seem oblivious to the fact that some people, even some people who are not fat, ugly, stupid, poor, or criminals can be and are left out of social situations by others, on purpose, when they hadn't necessarily done anything to deserve it. You can't learn or practice or become confident in those skills without people accepting you. For many who are lonely that started early and remained true, myself included. I couldn't just invent myself a perfect world where I could freely experiment and dev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:24 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.It's easy to jump to conclusions when that's what's commonly said to be the problem, often by people who use the very words you used. Not all at once, not in the exact way I said them, but the little digs and implications and insults, the "if you ever went outside" or "if you stopped playing video games" or "well if you weren't so hooked on porn". The "just world" approach is rife around here, the idea that if you weren't doing all those things wrong, you'd be happily married with 2 kids, a dog,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:20 PM |
| 7 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Self improvement is about being more mentally and physically healthier than you were yesterday. Except a lot of the mental health issues surrounding these communities are due to a lack of social circle or sources of intimacy. You can't improve that without other people giving you a chance to practice, to learn, to become more confident. You can lift weights, you can read books, you can sell stocks, you can learn a language, you can take up a hobby or even learn a trade, all valid ways of "self-i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:10 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Yes, because as we all know, if you're not getting laid then you must be a basement-dwelling perpetual 12 year old who reeks, eats only Cheetos, weighs 400lb, doesn't go out, is an absolute asshole to women (if he's able to even speak when one is around), with no job, no aspirations, no hobbies, and a personality like a rusty cheese grater. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 03:02 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.It doesn't always work for them when it comes to attracting women, but that's only because they're misguided. The effort, drive, and ambition is still there. That's what eventually causes them to turn to the other pills. Including, potentially, the ones you should only take as prescribed. Because they did the stuff, they tried, they followed the rules, and they caught nothing but shit for it. Either outright rejection or passive failure, despite putting themselves out there, trying to build conf… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:56 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Well maybe it's not laziness but the issue is definitely on your end if you can't find a partner. There is always someone more fat/ugly/toxic etc. than you who has no issues getting a partner This doesn't make sense. Or, if it does, you're suggesting the person who's asking how to fix it must be a poisonous slug, the likes of which humanity has rarely seen, less valuable or interesting than hardcore raping and butchering criminals, life-destroying large-scale thieves, serial violent abusers, peo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:48 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.No, it's a both sides thing, they're just presented in different ways. Red pill says "get buff, get cash, make her want you", blue pill says "if you just work at being a better person then it'll happen someday". Same thing, different lens. Except the red pill, although I don't consider myself to belong to it, at least tells you how and doesn't just say "whatever, I dunno, get a hobby or something, figure it out". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:43 PM |
| – | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Yeah, there are people who get showered with validation, love, affection, opportunity, and sex despite being the lowest, least moral, least intelligent, least compassionate, least wealthy people on the planet. If they can do it, if broke immature stupid teenagers can do it, if primates can do it, what the hell does that say about you, that you somehow have to improve to be as deserving as any of those things as criminals, morons, teenagers, and monkeys? It's not just a platitude, it's an insulti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:39 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadCertainly seems to echo the general tone of discussion in threads that aren't shut down... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:31 PM |
| 13 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.Self-Improvement is something you do because you want to take steps to be the person you want to be. What if the person I want to be is a person who is in a relationship? What if I already achieved the education and employment and hobby interest milestones I want and expect to reach by this point? What do you expect me to do, lean 6 extra languages, take a degree in astrophysics, and become a Michelin star chef? There are limits to what I want, can, and should be expected to do. But it's frequen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:16 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement."Why don't you go and do something silently somewhere else which doesn't involve me knowing you exist, unless/until you can come back and do or give things for me or people I actually like? There's a good chap." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:12 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadIn a place where people gather to discuss gender dynamics and relationship difficulties, there's a contingent of people who experience exactly those problems? 🤔 Well, I guess if we silence and ban all the people who have those problems, no more problems, right? ...right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 02:09 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI also have issues with the... rest of the rules. But mostly the "no incel/blackpilled content", which is used to remove all kinds of not actually incel/blackpilled content, including some of my own. Or the "no personal rants" which was deployed against the "horror stories" thread just a little while ago today. Is it any wonder why the same threads keep coming up over and over again? We're not allowed to actually explore and discuss anything else. Half the time I find myself trying to respond to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 01:09 PM |
| 1 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.I was thinking in terms of accruing social/emotional/psychological life experiences, the degree to which you've encountered enough things enough times to calmly, comfortably, confidently, competently respond to and instigate those things again and again. You need the variety to become a complete, rounded, wiser person. It's a little bit abstract and difficult to precisely differentiate, but I don't necessarily agree with the common idea of the "behaving to a particular formal standard". That whi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 10:38 AM |
| 38 | Pretty girls don't have it as easy as you think (although they definitely have it easier than most men)"easier than most men" is exactly how easy people think attractive women have it, that's the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 05:10 PM |
| 1 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”Acknowledging the emotional pain some men have experienced in relation to social rejection is only helpful to an extent. It would be the first step to helping them deal with and grow beyond it, but they can't even get that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:28 PM |
| 2 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”It's convenient that you keep reducing it back to "hurr, dry dick, no problem". There is a much broader context here which you're ignoring like your life depends on it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:27 PM |
| 1 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”The issue is, a lot of men especially on here, tend to over-exaggerate the likely hood of absolute worst-case scenarios (like being arrested, spoken to by the police, filmed) and act as if that’s the norm. Yes, because "she might say no" doesn't adequately describe the risks and concerns. They're being faced with the idea of those more extreme outcomes, some of which actually do happen and do sometimes go viral, often with the (eventual) context that the man has done nothing wrong (after two wee… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:45 PM |
| 2 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.I'd have to agree the yacht thing is a bit of an extreme example, but I agree with what you're saying other than that. Not every woman has those experiences, but they're far more likely to be invited to join in than men of a similar social status. It's an interesting thought. I don't know if there's ever been any research on it, the idea that women mature faster simply because they're offered more opportunity to learn and grow and explore, but it makes a lot of sense as a hypothesis. Being left,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:42 AM |
| 1 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”If you want men to stop pointing it out, the way to make that happen is to stop sending them that message. Just wailing "but I'm tired of hearing it!" doesn't change the circumstances which cause men to highlight it as an issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:33 AM |
| -1 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”Well, I can't possibly imagine why the men who do that would take that approach. Oh, except the fact that women have made it a hostile environment so that the only men who dare are those who don't care about you, because the rules exclude the ones who do care and have forbidden their expressions of interest on the grounds that it's intrusive, offensive, and upsetting. If you filter for only the worst to get through, which feminism has either accidentally or on purpose managed to do, that's on yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:30 AM |
| 7 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.You honestly think women get praise, respect, encouragement, etc just for existing? In the current social climate, yes, I do. There are specific campaigns to make sure women do receive those messages and I don't believe anybody could have reasonably failed to notice that. The fact that women also face hardship, because life just sucks in general and everybody likely will at some point regardless of gender, is not relevant. It doesn't invalidate that women do get more cultural/social/legal praise… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:19 AM |
| -1 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”I really don't like that "well, it's not like men are getting arrested all the time just for speaking to women" because it disregards the vast range of potential outcomes that live between "nothing happens" and "you don't get arrested but you do get spoken to by the police". It belittles the fact that a man, particularly one who is anxious or socially unsuccessful, can still suffer (more than is reasonable for just standard "nobody said it would be easy"). It disregards the social and mental hea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:14 AM |
| 1 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.I don't see that as proof of concern for women's sexual autonomy. There are many women who still think sex is primarily for men and producing children and it's a woman's job to make sure of it. Male or Female doesn't dictate absolutely. It means it's not nearly as gendered an issue as it's often presented as being. It's spoken about like it's some oppressive regime of men trying to roll back a hundred years of science and social progress. It isn't. It's political and religious and it has nothing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 02:58 AM |
| 7 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.You realise feminism was a thing long before any of the guys here even finished wearing absorbant underwear, right? They grew up watching women demand everything and quite often get everything, whilst most men got nothing but blamed, shamed, and insulted. Gee, whyever do you think they might be a little bit put out? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 02:25 AM |
| – | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.And I’m not part of the woman hivemind You don't seem to be doing a very good job of proving that. we both know what you are doing here Oop, that thing again! So, it’s my fault if some unstable man does an Elliot Rodger because a big mean woman hurt his feelings? If you participate in actively dismissing, ridiculing, shaming men for their problems and refusing to acknowledge, understand, or (culturally) make any kind of accommodation or compromise to reduce that, yes, it is. Don't play in traffi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 02:22 AM |
| 5 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.It literally means a system where men are dominant. You want men to be dominant, you believe that they are superior, yes? Oh look, it's that thing I said people keep doing to me, the thing you seem to be arguing against being a valid point whilst actively doing it to me, the thing where you just make shit up and judge me for it. My case is so rested you'd think it'd just eaten a bottle of sleeping pills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 02:07 AM |
| 6 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”OK, well, you can either keep bitching about it or you can put your money where your mouth is and do something to indicate when it is appropriate. I was only speaking partially in jest about the name tags. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:53 AM |
| 10 | Short men are more likely to commit suicideHowever, the longer you get through life, the more your skills and good decisions matter. If you survive that long. It's all very well saying "yeah, but you know, when you're 40 and you've got a good career under you, you're making some good money, you've got some life experience, you'll do great", but how much misery, loneliness, isolation, stress, envy, hypocrisy, and inequality are you able to swallow in the meantime? How many movies and TV shows and billboards and internet personalities and … | /r/MensRights | 22/01/24 01:30 AM |
| 0 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”But I’m so tired of this same post stated different ways, so yeah, if you feel this way, don’t bother women. "Fuck off, we don't want you near us, you sex-obsessed murdering incel predators. We're just trying to live our lives, we don't need you trying to wave your dicks in our faces everywhere we go. If you ever come near me I'll kick in in the nuts and call the police." "Oh, you feel put off approaching us? Ah well, you'd best just not bother then, eh? Shame you feel that way, I hope you get t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:13 AM |
| 5 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”It's not supposed to be an environment of gendered hostility and threats of meting out justice either though. But here we are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:09 AM |
| 9 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”Is that you volunteering to start the trend of wearing colour-coded name badges indicating how open you are to be spoken to by strangers interested in seeking a relationship? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:08 AM |
| 2 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”How many friends do you think the average person has? In 2024? In a world more online and isolating than ever? How many chances do you think a man is going to have within that social group before he's "that guy who keeps hitting on all the women"? How long before he's deemed desperate and untouchable, not invited out any more, and talked about as some kind of sleazy creep? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:06 AM |
| 5 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”you decide to do it anyway As opposed to... what? Never speaking to women, swiping hopelessly on apps, and dying of loneliness-induced suicide at 28, never having had a close or intimate relationship of any kind? Rock and a hard place. But one of those things has a slim chance of a positive outcome, the other doesn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 01:00 AM |
| 0 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”That's fine if what you like to do is eat sausages with chocolate pudding. But there aren't institutional pressures warning you that if you admit that you like to eat sausages with chocolate pudding then you're no better than sex offender scum. Feminism has pushed for a kind of quasi-law in which there is a threat of justice being dispensed if you get something wrong and happen to cause upset or inconvenience, even if you had no intention of doing so. Men are perpetrators, women are victims. Tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:58 AM |
| 5 | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”People met through social groups, mutual friends, and mutual activities (school, hobbies, etc.). I'm sure that'll go great in 2024. If you're a Deliveroo driver. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:45 AM |
| 4 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.You asked whether a man wants a younger woman to show her off. I responded that there are far more obvious, inoffensive reasons why he would be interested in her which do not involve using her as some kind of status ornament. Men like to fuck attractive women, women tend to be most attractive when they're younger, it's not a difficult concept to grasp, is it? Sometimes the simple answer is the right answer and it doesn't have to mean that men are running around using women as tools. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:41 AM |
| 8 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.I'm talking about here, because that's the context of where we're having this discussion, although it's not as though there's any shortage of anti-male sentiment elsewhere. Like I said, I don't recognise your name so I can't speak to your specific attitude, but many women here are openly hostile towards men and are actively proud of "sticking it to the man". Even those who, charitably, I'd say probably believe what they feel and say and aren't just shitposting, they're often a thousand miles awa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:34 AM |
| 4 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.Even men they find less attractive can be useful to them It's also pretty unreasonable to dismiss the good times which come with that too. If a 30 year old woman is pissed off that she's never got a man to commit, what she's not thinking about is the times she enjoyed stupid fun sex, or the social occasions she was able to enjoy because people liked being around her, or the personal development she was able to go through with those experiences, or living without being perceived/spoken about as a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 12:17 AM |
| 3 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.Why, do you pick partners as social trophies? I have no intention of using a woman as a status symbol, I'd just like to enjoy the company of somebody I find attractive and pleasant to spend time with. It's that simple. It's concerning that you would suspect otherwise. Why would you, unless you think that way too? Surely you understand the concept of finding somebody attractive for who they are and wanting to engage in intimacy with them, because you find them exciting and fulfilling to be around… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 11:59 PM |
| 5 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.Governments and cultures continually restrict and allow access to this technology based on standards that take little account of women's sexual autonomy. And consider how much less picky women became with the availability of the contraceptive pill. I don't believe this is a valid argument, because: 1a) As many women as men are against abortion 1b) That's a heavily Ameri-centric argument anyway 2a) Women have access to far more forms of contraceptives than men 2b) Men generally aren't complaining… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 11:51 PM |
| 11 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.We need to accept women's sexuality as being as important to women as men's is to men. Allow women to experience it from a POV of health and personal enjoyment Ah, like we do for men's? Oh, heh, silly me, no, not at all like men's, because men's sexuality is supposedly selfish and objectifying and predatory, isn't it? Because we all know "men only want one thing", "men are bastards", "men are only complaining because they can't get their dicks wet". So much for healthy exploration of sexuality, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 11:43 PM |
| 11 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.See, the problem with this reasoning is that the thresholds for "trash men", "garbage views", "bad boys", and "good guys" are all out of whack. On the surface what you say makes some kind of sense: that you don't believe men are trash "but the ones who very obviously state garbage views are". Sure, you're differentiating between men who deserve to be called and treated like trash and men who don't. All well and good so far. But that quickly starts to look incredibly unreasonable and worthy of de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 11:32 PM |
| 15 | Why I believe Men are unsympathetic towards Women's grievances in dating.all i said was that more women than men are content being single, not that most women are single. men have to compete with women's peace being by themselves. But if that many women are in relationships then clearly that peace isn't sufficient, is it? Otherwise they'd not be in relationships, because there wouldn't be any point. It wouldn't be necessary or even desired. so when women complain of shitty dating options maybe they're telling the truth, because most people aren't "average." What do y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 11:20 PM |
| – | Self improvement doesn't work with attracting girls - It's all about your energy, you attract who you are.If a woman is some degenerate hoe with no ambitions, no life, no appreciation for life who just mindlessly wastes her life away on parties and drugs, is unfit, has no rich inner world, why the fuck should I care that she doesn't find me attractive? You shouldn't. In isolation. Which I would also say to women who ask similar questions, like "why do you care about whether women who don't share your values like your or not?", because I don't disagree that subjecting yourself to (or allowing yoursel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 09:40 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?That you seemingly cannot understand that there is even a possibility that I'm speaking from experience, in good faith, with a genuine intention to spell out the problem so that it might one day be solved, with an appropriate level of stern defiance, and without malice, speaks to the exact thing I'm trying to explain. You don't see or appreciate what I'm saying, frankly you seem not to want to do that because you don't want to believe I'm in any way correct or that men like me are coming from re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/24 07:27 AM |
| 7 | Is approaching women something men are stopping to do? Is it also frowned upon? Also is male sexuality demonized?If you have people fawning over your physique then I'm not sure you're particularly qualified to talk about the struggles that "low value" and "unattractive" men face either. You're taking for granted that you (presumably) had access to learning those social skills and exploring your sexuality when it most mattered, many of the men who are struggling did not. So why should they take what you have to say seriously, when you're disregarding and insulting what made it difficult for them in the firs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 11:06 PM |
| 2 | Is approaching women something men are stopping to do? Is it also frowned upon? Also is male sexuality demonized?Why not? All those men who used to be your buddies are now distant because they have partners, why shouldn't you be trying to achieve the same, if that's the path which people around you take in life? Why must it be required that you have a ton of friends if the likelihood is that you'll lose them all when you get a partner anyway? Clearly the goal most people seem to have, given how readily they'll prioritise their partner/relationship over their friends (unless/until it all goes wrong and they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 10:52 PM |
| 3 | Is approaching women something men are stopping to do? Is it also frowned upon? Also is male sexuality demonized?The women a lot of men know are their friends. People they SHOULDNT be trying to fuck. But I thought we weren't supposed to be trying to fuck women we don't know either, because that's objectification, given we know nothing about them other than they look good? Besides, who better to form an intimate relationship with than someone you know well, get on with, are very comfortable around, and you already have some level of genuine personal affection for? Wasn't that the ideal? To be with someone y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 10:47 PM |
| 4 | Is approaching women something men are stopping to do? Is it also frowned upon? Also is male sexuality demonized?People say this as though there's no way that you can just find yourself without friends through no fault or failing of your own. It's more of an issue for older adults (beyond college age), but one example of that is the way that couples become insular and drift away from past friends. When I think of all the male friends I've had, especially close male friends, friends who I would hang out with frequently and for extended periods of time, they all did that. Sometimes it's because their partner… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 10:31 PM |
| 5 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Men do this too any time a woman vents about anything there will be countless "but what about men" in the comments. In fact, that's exactly what you're doing here. But what you just did isn't exactly that? You literally used the words "men do this too". You're doing the very thing you're trying to chastise me for, blatantly and without any sense of self-awareness. Besides which there's a sense of scale and a balance of power which is not being taken into consideration. What men say on a forum de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:46 PM |
| 2 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?If you don’t like it work to get involved with the board that makes those decisions. Do you really think that, for example, a board of female and feminist teachers in a school who create a campaign to tell boys not to behave a certain way are likely to legitimately invite those boys to be part of the process and take their suggestions seriously? Because I don't. Those boards start with a fixed idea of what should or shouldn't be allowed, or what people should or shouldn't think, and they work ba… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:38 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Then you're not seeing the broader picture in which these extreme attitudes are formed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:33 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Tightening my tinfoil hat, what happened to us? These conversations would be inconceivable 15 years ago. Although you might have a point with regard to the increasing ludicrousness of this "gender war", I think another important thing that happened within the past 15 years is the coming to light that what a lot of the conspiracy nutters said was happening actually was happening. So that probably has an impact on the kind of conversations people will have about these things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:12 PM |
| 2 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Similar situation with the Plymouth incident in the UK. The attacker was deemed not to have been motivated by incel ideology by officials, yet everybody still believes he was because that's the narrative the media ran with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:09 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?There does seem to be a tendency to misconstrue or misrepresent observations as ideologies. Numerous times I've been spoken to like I advocate for violence against women, simply because I have pointed out that hostility and neglect towards men is likely to increase rates of disenfranchisement and violence. I've never said or believed anything of the sort (edit: that I believe violence is justified). Yet I still get reacted to, and misrepresented to everybody else in the discussion, as though I d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 07:02 PM |
| 5 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Feminism does this all the time. A man expresses a problem and at best he gets a brief acknowledgement that his problem is real but then is told that it doesn't matter because of a thousand years of oppression of women. Often he doesn't even get the acknowledgement, the conversation jumps immediately to suggesting he's "entitled" or "whining" because he's expecting attention for something which the dogmatic idealist single-issue tunnel-vision compaigners don't happen to care about. His problem m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 06:57 PM |
| 4 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?It's much the same in the UK (and London in particular). There are campaigns about men being bad, men doing bad things, and how women should be made safe from that, how men should police themselves and others, and so on. But what does that actually achieve? It's unclear to me that it actually solves the problem, men who are violent or mentally ill enough to actually commit that violence are going to be that way no matter how many posters you put on the walls. They've always existed, they will al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 06:52 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Meanwhile, the institutionally accepted feminism is pouring out of every screen, speaker, and billboard. Gee, I wonder which one has a greater impact on how those men feel. The niche podcast or the cultural zeitgeist? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 06:40 PM |
| 6 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?The effect of this content on young men is very real. So is the uncaring, unsupportive, unhealthy, invalidating culture which drives them to it. By the same measures I could consider feminism to be just as harmful, but nobody's agreeing with that, nobody's getting put on a list or investigated for being a feminist, even though that ideology is directly contributing to the environment these men find to be hostile and are trying to find ways to exist and thrive in despite it being all around them.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 06:36 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?The issue is that over the past few years the manosphere as grown to be more and more toxic. What else has become more prominent and more highly promoted in those years? Feminism. An extreme focus on women's rights, women's issues, to the detriment and abandonment of any discussion of men's rights and men's needs and men's issues. An increasing bias towards viewing men as "the problem". Don't you see that this is going to throw fuel on the fire of those men who already feel unheard, disrespected… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 06:12 PM |
| 1 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?The problem is that somebody has to decide what hate speech is, which gives them immense power to silence, threaten, and punish those with opposing views and ideologies. By all means deal with criminals, but understand that if you do not work to help prevent them from feeling a need to become criminals then you are just creating more of the problem you claim to be trying to fix. They were not criminals, at one point, before they became criminals. You (society) could've helped to give them reason… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 05:58 PM |
| 7 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?I know I try to understand the issues men here in general are having but as soon as anyone mentions some form of charity sex I check out. Which would be fine, if it weren't the case that anything that doesn't fit the feminist framing of men's beliefs and attitudes and behaviours is immediately considered evidence that men want "charity sex" or "government girlfriends" or some other example of forced subjugation. That somebody says "men need help here" and it's received as "OPPRESS AND OBJECTIFY … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 05:20 PM |
| 7 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Women not wanting it is very much part of the problem. Male spaces have been converted to unisex spaces. Men's groups and men's conversations have been hijacked and poisoned with feminist ideas. Men who do not sing from the correct hymn book are cast out, silenced, or painted as evil corrupting influences. It's not politically acceptable to support men's rights to men's spaces and men's fixes for men's problems. There's not, as far as I understand it, a lot of funding available for that kind of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 05:15 PM |
| 3 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?First it’s a positive initiative. It’s positive that The Government, and institutions are looking at these issues, and attempting solutions. No, it would be positive if (as you mention yourself later in your comment) there were intiatives to help those men achieve and feel good about who they are. Without that it's just trying (and failing) to treat a symptom, not the cause. As the other commenter said, this isn't about helping men, not even about helping men avoid bad actors, it's about silenci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 05:05 PM |
| 6 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?Talking about it as a generalised problem would require a generalised solution; beyond state mandated wives and marital rape not being outlawed , I genuinely wonder what could the solution be for the not salvageable men? Help them build confidence, help them achieve things, help them be wanted and appreciated in the first place. Change social attitudes, provide resources, stop making men's spaces mixed gender in the name of "equality", stop the biased push for women in education and employment a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 04:56 PM |
| 9 | The DHS paid almost 700k to a counter-terrorism NGO to intercept and divert Twitter traffic away from people in the “manosphere” and those who take issue with promiscuity. Do you agree with these actions and the funding of this report?But the other side, which includes the authorities and mainstream cultural attitudes, which treats lonely or socially troubled men like dangerous losers instead of a group in need of support, resources, and compassion, isn't helping to make them violent? They're going to these "bad" places on the internet and listening to these "bad" people because there is nobody else and they're already being made to feel subhuman by "normal" people/media/institutions and even by life itself. Putting Tate in j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/24 04:44 PM |
| 16 | Reddit makes me angry sometimesYeah, but on the other hand, "never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups". | /r/MensRights | 19/01/24 05:09 PM |
| 1 | Girls outperform boys from primary school to universityThat I couldn't say, I'm afraid, although I would suspect (from what I've heard generally) that it likely had something to do with the exam versus coursework ratio. I'm not terribly familiar with the old system, it was before I got anywhere near taking my GCSEs and I've not really had the motivation to try and research what the O-Levels were like. It'd certainly be useful to understand what made the difference, from a systemic perspective, because the answer would presumably be (or at least begi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/01/24 09:53 PM |
| 3 | I honestly just don't get the complainingSure, it can be done and I would encourage positivity and optimism. But I'm also aware of the damage it can do and how that can push you so deep into being unable to try (for a plethora of reasons, some harder to fix than others). Saying "go touch grass" doesn't really fix anything because there are likely underlying issues which make that significantly harder or less likely to produce positive results. You need those positive results, at some point, to make it feel possible. That takes luck as … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 09:50 PM |
| 7 | I honestly just don't get the complainingYou think you're saying anything they haven't heard before? Anything they haven't felt in their core, many many times, over many years? They already know something is wrong but nobody can or will give them a straight answer as to how to resolve it and get to where they need to be. If you had to go through life constantly hearing people complain about you, you'd probably be pretty fucked off too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:38 AM |
| 4 | I honestly just don't get the complainingBecause they've been forced to investigate the subject by a prior lack of success. They start off trying to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it, because they realise they're not "normal" or "average", and they're faced with either "you're fucked, shut up and fuck off, don't want to hear it, you entitled misogynist" or "yeah, we get it, that's because women are impossibly picky, get ripped and make bank so they can't say no". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:35 AM |
| 3 | I honestly just don't get the complainingI see, so when you're talking to your parents, or your boss, or your local religious leader, you run around drunkenly swearing and screaming and singing loudly and off-key like you're hanging with your buddies at the bar? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:33 AM |
| 7 | I honestly just don't get the complainingI think women can generally sense it underneath even if men try to mask it. If that were as true as some would suggest then there would be no "he tricked me, he pretended to be nice but actually he only wanted to sexually use me, then he psychologically abused me, and cheated on me with a younger woman" stories. Because they'd "smell" that he was a mentally unwell misogynistic abuser. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:31 AM |
| 3 | I honestly just don't get the complainingYou're staring the answer dead in the face. "Most people". These men aren't "most people", they're exceptions who are rightly upset that they're not "most people". Everything around them says relationships and sex should be simple to achieve, yet they can't achieve it. What do you think that does to a human being, to be excluded from such an apparently basic act of inclusion and intimacy when their entire world says that if you're worth even some small amount of respect, compassion, acceptance, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:26 AM |
| 6 | I honestly just don't get the complainingWhy don't you spend 20 years being socially unwelcome, autistic, or abused to the point of having crippling depression, then come back and say that? It's what people around here call the "just word fallacy". It suggests that if you were just a decent person who makes some kind of effort then the world will magically give you what you deserve, including a relationship, and that if you don't receive it then it's because you're a lazy whining toxic douchebag who could fix it just by not being a laz… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:23 AM |
| 4 | I honestly just don't get the complainingIf I went around the room handing out $100 bills to every single person in turn except you, you wouldn't have any entitlement to one of those $100 bills but you'd sure as hell feel put out that you were the only one in the room who didn't get the freebie. Imagine too that you were really struggling with finances, that the $100 bill would really help get you out of some bad situation that you really need solved, that it might help you keep a roof over your head, or provide you with food that you … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:15 AM |
| 6 | I honestly just don't get the complainingYou're making the common mistake of ignoring that these men existed before they came to Reddit and started discussing these things. They're here discussing them because they did not see success before they felt a need to discuss it. Life experience has taught them that something is wrong, something is different, that they are not normal like everybody else, they know something is wrong and they're trying to figure out what it is. But instead of getting meaningful help and advice, instead of find… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 06:08 AM |
| 5 | I honestly just don't get the complainingWhat's the difference between those things and intimacy? The difference is that sex and relationships and even reproduction can be achieved in moments by teenagers, broke people, even monkeys, or dogs, or just about any living mammal on the planet, without years and years of dedicated effort trying to achieve something exceptional. You grow up to be ready for it, to be capable of it, to be craving it from an early age, it's a built in function which most people get to exercise as part of becomin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 05:56 AM |
| 2 | Do you believe life is generally easier as a single person?So get the bus. Nobody's going to have a car if it's in the garage getting fixed, what then? You just don't do anything at all until it's ready to collect? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 03:57 PM |
| 3 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?Look ..you expect to be treated a certain way because of what you know about yourself or think you can reasonably assert about yourself. She on the other hand knows only that you are a comparative stranger who has been deliberately and also accidentally sending a bunch of messages to her with intent to form a relationship. She's not gonna assume you are legit. All that "of course I am legit I am owed it" happens in your mind by default but in her mind "he's legit let's focus on this" happens onl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 12:39 PM |
| 4 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?What game? I and other men in this thread have expressed that if we're seeing someone we don't expect to be allowed to go and see other people, if it's got any more serious than a date or two, and certainly nothing involving sex. If she's serious, she can act like it. If she's gone on six dates with the same person then she's either genuinely interested in a proper relationship or she's stringing him along without giving him the full picture. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 10:42 AM |
| 3 | Do you believe life is generally easier as a single person?On the other hand, two people could be doing those errands in parallel and they'd be done in half the time. I'll take the car to the garage to get the tyre fixed, you do the grocery shopping. I'll go to the DIY store and get that paint we need, you go and mail that package that needs to be returned. Four things done in the same time it would take a single person to do two of them. If one person gets held up by a delay of some kind, the other can still keep going through their list of other erran… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 10:22 AM |
| 16 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?Yeah, it's not unreasonable, in my opinion, to have that view. It doesn't give a very good impression that she actually wants to be with you, or even anybody on a serious basis, because she's too busy getting whatever fun comes her way. If she cared about getting into a deep, exclusive relationship, then having sex with other people all the time is not the kind of behaviour which shows it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 10:19 AM |
| 6 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?I agree, it is. I just didn't think your response had much to do with what they actually said. Which, in combination with what you've just replied to me with, suggests that you might be trying to invalidate them by implying that they're only saying it because they're men expecting only women to behave in the way they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 10:04 AM |
| 3 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?We know what men are like. If he's had a first date and teed up a second he's not shutting off his Tinder. He might stop swiping. I would expect a woman to behave in much the same way, especially at an early stage like that. I don't expect somebody to delete their Tinder because they got one first date, that would be ridiculous, what if it doesn't work out? Meeting somebody once isn't enough to know if you want a long-term dedicated relationship and that's fine. But if we're getting a bit more f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 09:59 AM |
| 10 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?They do not appear to have made a judgement about how often it happens in that comment, only given an expression of disapproval that it is a disrespectful thing to do, knowing that some absolutely will behave that way (and even loudly argue for the freedom to do it without consequence). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 09:52 AM |
| 24 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?Yeah, the way I see it is that one date is not sufficient for exclusivity, we just met, we didn't know if we'd like each other, you can't just say "well, you went on a date, that's a thing, I thought we were together now". But if you're going on second, third, fourth dates, if you're going to each other's houses, if you've started to sleep together, that's what I would typically expect to imply exclusivity. That's a relationship, unless there's been some prior agreement that it's a FWB/casual/op… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 09:49 AM |
| 13 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?I would expect it to be the default for both men and women that they're going to date multiple people before choosing one. I wouldn't expect anybody to just meet the magical special only one right out of the gate. Of course you're going to take time and multiple attempts to find someone you're compatible with - especially if it's via OLD or some other method of meeting people you haven't already known for some time. But I do expect exclusivity if we're sleeping together. Call me old-fashioned, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Do you believe life is generally easier as a single person?Some may prefer it, but "easier"? No, not necessarily. You can't share costs and home maintenance/chores, you can't have a child/raise a family, you may lose the availability of people to socialise with as they pair up and do couple things, and your mental health (as in the case of many here) may suffer from a complete lack of intimacy. It's a trade-off, of course, in that you do have less solo free time, you have somebody else's preferences/expectations/obligations/responsibilities to worry abo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 09:30 AM |
| 4 | Are OnlyFans creators exploiting lonely men? | ModernDayDebateIs it exploitation of women? No. Nothing is forced upon them. This I agree with. They've chosen that line of work and the specific kind of work within that sphere. Just like women have chosen to be models or booth babes, chosen to appear on page 3 in The Sun newspaper, or whatever else. There are certainly degrees of sex work and sex work-adjacent selling of body image. Abusing your genitals and anus in realtime for paying customers is only one of the (most invasive) forms it could take. That's … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/24 08:34 AM |
| 6 | Are OnlyFans creators exploiting lonely men? | ModernDayDebateIt screams "man hater" I've certainly heard of instances of some of those creators actively mocking or resenting their clients in conversations outside of the platforms on which they sell their content/engage with their buyers. They do not respect those men, they do not care about those men, they sometimes actively hate those men, but are so hell bent on extracting cash out of them they will literally sell their bodies to them rather than get a "normal" job like normal people do. That's deeply u… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/24 08:22 AM |
| 3 | Are OnlyFans creators exploiting lonely men? | ModernDayDebateBut this definitely falls in line with the parasocial relationship phenomena. And Only Fans and their creators lean into it heavily. It's easy to see it as exploitative. Exactly. There have been other ways of getting sexual content for a long, long time. Cave paintings, drawings, books, paintings, penny peep shows, saucy postcards, burlesque shows, newspapers, film reels, strip joints, video tapes, late night or adult channel TV movies, DVDs, internet... I would still argue that these are all de… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/24 08:15 AM |
| 8 | I don't know if this is a double standard or not.That rings some bells for me, I won't claim to know specifically what you personally went through but a lot of the things you said apply to my experiences as well. So I wanted to say that I understand how being in that kind of situation sucks balls, that I'm sorry you had to go through that, and that I hope you can still find some happiness from your recovery despite being unable to communicate any of it because of how dismissive and victim-blaming the responses are. This is one of the very thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 06:06 PM |
| 3 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?"Microaggressions". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 05:54 PM |
| 8 | I don't know if this is a double standard or not.Yes, that's a massive double standard and it's present just about everywhere. Especially here. If it's acceptable, or at least understandable, to express hurt and distress because of past negative experiences then men should absolutely be allowed to do that as long as women are. If it's not acceptable then it shouldn't be acceptable for women either. But neither of those situations are where we're at, because it is and has been perfectly fine for women to say, out loud, in public spaces, damn ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 05:00 PM |
| 30 | Are OnlyFans creators exploiting lonely men? | ModernDayDebateYes. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/24 04:45 PM |
| 7 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?Right, but what I'm saying is there's only so much you can do, at some point it's just you. All of those groups are likely to be outliers, but then so are the people who come here, that's sort of the point. These men are trying to figure out how to not be that and, if all else fails, find a way to rationalise it and cling to self-preservation by externalising the problem, lest they just give up and die. In addition to that, there's not often useful or accurate feedback, even when something could… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:44 PM |
| 6 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?The problem with that is that the reason, particularly in this group of men, is something which they cannot necessarily change. Autism would be one example. There may be things you can do to help, but if you're always going to be "a little bit off" then you can't just "not do that". Having a particularly unattractive face might be another reason. Having unusual interests another. At some point it comes down to "just don't be you". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:34 PM |
| – | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?You didn't say that and even if you had you're still missing the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:27 PM |
| – | Would you still date women if you had an authentic bioengineered vagina and womb in your basement?Yes, because I don't want a hole to fuck, I could hire a sex worker for that, or buy a Fleshlight. I want a relationship. With an actual woman. A woman who actually wants to be in that relationship, with whom I can experience a plethora of forms of voluntary intimacy, with a complete and person capable of independent thought. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:21 PM |
| – | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?Lmao okay king go off ❤️ sounds like your method of combatting this is working great You could, you know, engage with the subject, try to see a different point of view, and come to an understanding on why these men think this way. Or don't and instead just act like I'm a nutjob. You can do that too, if you wish. But it's not a particularly productive option and it doesn't paint you in a very good light. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:18 PM |
| – | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?OK, now tell me how we're supposed to say that to our schools, out media, our police, our governments. Tell me how we're supposed to get away with saying "fuck you, I'll do what I want" when being perceived as doing that is tantamount to some of the worst criminal acts a person can commit. Tell me how we're supposed to throw that in the faces of the people who control the entire future of our lives, in education, employment, and any right to public freedom. If you think being called a slut is in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:02 PM |
| 4 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?If you don’t like girls who behave this way don’t pay attention to them. It's very easy to say that if you're not the one constantly hearing how wrong you are for being a man, or being "creepy", or being an untouchable loser, or how likely it is that you're a disgusting violent predator, or whatever else it might be. It's not just a case of "pick someone else then" because many men who are in this position a) don't get to pick, and b) are hearing these messages from peer groups, institutions, au… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 03:46 PM |
| 5 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?That wasn't actually what I said. What I said was that it happens (generally, in the real world, often to awkward, potentially neurodiverse/mentally unwell/socially excluded/potentially abused young men). Then, in a separate point, I referenced women on this sub saying that if men don't wish to be perceived as creepy then they should simply not be or act creepy. Distinct but connected points as the men who have grown up being called creepy in real life are going to be the ones expressing that ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 03:33 PM |
| 18 | Why do women here consistently portray men's dating preferences as malicious and their own as benign?Short men who are socially awkward are creepy to me This is an implicit moral judgement. Why would somebody be called creepy? Because someone believes they act weird, unnerving, in a distasteful or potentially concerning way. Why would somebody be perceived as acting in a weird, unnerving, concerning way? Because they're doing something wrong. What does that mean? They're sleazy, or conniving, or coercive, or unpleasant, or threatening. "Creepy" doesn't get used for no reason. Everybody knows it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 02:57 PM |
| 1 | Are Men and Women equally malicious?Humans gonna human. The only difference is in the way they express it, which may or may not have to do with gender, physical strength, situation, and state of mind. Could be stabbing somebody with a kitchen knife, using brute force and weaponry, could be sabotaging their social, family, or professional life (and thus mental health, which can eventually be equally deadly) by underhanded manipulation. It's still fucked up either way. It's just that the violent stuff gets seen, the damage is clear … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 01:33 PM |
| – | CMV/Debate: For neurotypical men (and women), the red pill should be naturally followed and practiced. If not then you are wasting your genetic potentialYou realise you're telling broke people not to gamble on winning a life-changing sum of money? They're already broke. How much worse could it get? Why wouldn't they take the opportunity to maybe win what they never had before? If they lose and end up still broke, well, what changed? Nothing. They're only back where they started. They had nothing to lose in the first place. But what's being offered (whether I agree with it or not) is that opportunity to win. You might not win, but if you don't bu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 12:11 PM |
| – | CMV/Debate: For neurotypical men (and women), the red pill should be naturally followed and practiced. If not then you are wasting your genetic potentialI thought that title looked familiar... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 12:09 PM |
| – | CMV/Debate: For neurotypical men (and women), the red pill should be naturally followed and practiced. If not then you are wasting your genetic potentialMost people understand that financial stability, being in good shape and having a good social standing will help you in the dating market without being told. So do most autistic men. But the problem is that autistic men are often not well received, for reasons they don't know, can't see, and which nobody can articulate. Yes, there are issues with not knowing what to do or say, issues with perceiving body language, issues with anxiety. But that's only half the problem. You can do or say anything … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 12:01 PM |
| 6 | Why do Red Pillers find it so hard to admit that men can be horrible people?Why would they cede ground if the women they run into aren't willing to do the same? That would just be showing weakness. Of course they're going not going to let you have something you're not willing to give them. The more you try to deny things they have observed to be true, the more you tell them they're wrong, or lying, or disgusting, the more they'll send it right back atcha. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 11:22 AM |
| 11 | Girls outperform boys from primary school to universityIn 1986, in the UK, they changed the secondary education system, and more specifically the end of mandatory schooling assessments, from what were previously called O-Levels to the current GCSEs. Do you know what the attainment graph looked like before that change? Boys and girls succeeding equally. A nearly identical line with only minor gender differences each year, trading places, a few percent above or below, as you would expect from typical variance. What did it look like after, from 1988 on… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/24 05:09 AM |
| 6 | Current dating attitudes.Why shouldn't women who want men to pay still be treated like normal human beings? Why shouldn't women who want men to pay have equal rights to a man's? Men are so frequently told to "treat women like human beings". Now, given the context of an independent adult, would you expect that to include "demanding or at the very least expecting your friends to pay for you every time you go out, even if you can afford it yourself, or if they are suffering financial hardship, and no longer gracing them wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:37 AM |
| 7 | Why do single and childless men who complain they cannot get dates or relationships also complain about the big numbers of single moms and that they would never date a single mother?So we'll just pretend that nobody gets the tingles from feeling like there's only two special people who exist in the world, themselves and their special one? We'll just pretend that people don't want attention and intimacy from that person, and to have the time and freedom to give it back, without constantly being interrupted by other people around them, like friends or parents or children? Who wouldn't see that as a turn-off, to have somebody interrupting (or always having the potential to int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:16 AM |
| 3 | Why do single and childless men who complain they cannot get dates or relationships also complain about the big numbers of single moms and that they would never date a single mother?Absolutely, likewise. I don't know how to deal with children, it's taken me a lot of time and effort to learn how to deal with adults, and I haven't even finished learning that yet. Those (hypothetical) kids don't need or deserve me hanging around being cold and awkward, wishing every time they try to talk to me that they'd just go away and stop making me uncomfortable. That's probably worse than not having a (step-)father figure at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:08 AM |
| 8 | Why do single and childless men who complain they cannot get dates or relationships also complain about the big numbers of single moms and that they would never date a single mother?"Men are such a tiresome burden, I don't want to have to cook and clean for them and I certainly don't want to financially support them, that's not my responsibility. Bangmaids, that's all they want. I'm nothing but a tool and a slave to them." "But men should definitely take on the role of supporting and looking after me and several young dependants, otherwise they're picky and unreasonable and discriminating against perfectly good women and they deserve to be lonely." Uh-huh. I mean, look, I h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 04:00 AM |
| 2 | Serious question for the ladys: Do you find this kind of man attractiv?Perhaps he does, I don't know, it was just that... vibe, for lack of a better term, that I recognise as primarily seeing in west coasters. I'm sure it's not exclusive to that area, especially as it's had time to grow and spread and influence other areas of the US/world, but I do strongly associate it with that point of origin. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 07:09 PM |
| 3 | Serious question for the ladys: Do you find this kind of man attractiv?It's very "millennial influencer". Just this certain type of American (Californian?) aspirational lifestyle junk that makes me feel like they live on another planet (probably because it's either not actually real or they live in such a bubble that it's just how life is there). Sort of a west coast hipster vibe, I suppose some would call it. Just completely disconnected from everybody else's reality somehow. I remember seeing a video podcast, maybe nearly 20 years ago, used to watch it frequently… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 03:43 PM |
| 4 | Why does it seem like progressiveness towards the gender roles only apply toward women?So then mental health services are widely more accessible for women? Because that is not what I have seen at all, except for maybe the top privileged rich women only. In theory, many general health service mental health options are, or should be, gender-neutral. In practice, however, they may not necessarily advertise in a way which feels appropriate to men and they may not offer services or treatments which are appropriate to men. Many of men's issues aren't things which can be therapy'd away. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 11:51 AM |
| 2 | Post-Nut Clarity and what it suggests about malesPretty much. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Apparently, a lot of women now want to meet someone while "running errands"I don't consider that convincing either. Although it's more likely to do damage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 08:28 AM |
| 4 | Should people with little to no dating experience be allowed to discuss or debate dating issues?You should probably read that again, because I didn't call you anything. I suggested that you might've been expecting a hostile response accusing you of being various unpleasant things, based on your antagonistic gatekeeping post in a place which I'm sure you understand is full of the very people you seek to exclude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 05:51 AM |
| – | Do men even like women anymore?I think it’s a social instinct to offer empathy along with advice - even if that advice is taken as a platitude. That’s how most people Communicate, especially when it’s someone you know mainly because no one wants friends to suffer. It makes people uncomfortable to be unable to help. It’s certainly one thing to say people should just leave it at the empathy and say I’m sorry that seems like it hurts etc. but it wouldn’t be enough long term to always be told no one knows how to help. People Like… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 05:50 AM |
| – | Do men even like women anymore?There's often the idea that all you're missing is confidence, "Fake it until you make it" (I tried this and it blew up in spectacular fashion) that those who are alone have never made any genuine effort. Yeah, that's a point very often missed. If people don't like you, confidence (even fake confidence) is often seen as misplaced ego or bravado, and that's assuming people even buy it as confidence in the first place. Trying to do that as an inexperienced, anxious person is full of traps. The mome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 05:27 AM |
| – | Do men even like women anymore?it seems obvious to me as an outsider that you are speaking with the veil of depression covering the fact that the advice isn’t bad advice. It seems to me that you have no idea. I am all in favour of trying, doing things, retaining hope, looking towards the future. I still believe, perhaps to my detriment, that I will find a partner, despite staring down the barrel of a rapidly approaching 40th birthday, not an awful long way down the line. I've consistently been one of the most defiantly optimi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 05:23 AM |
| 6 | Why does it seem like progressiveness towards the gender roles only apply toward women?This is backed up by (for example) this, which states that research showed that 91% of the middle-aged men who'd taken their own lives had reached out to front-line services and 67% had been in contact with them within the last 3 months of their lives. I don't have a ream of stats to hand, but I think it's pretty well understood that "men don't talk/go to therapy" is a myth at this point. It's just that the services they (and I, having tried to contact helplines myself) receive are so abysmal or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 05:05 AM |
| 2 | Post-Nut Clarity and what it suggests about malesBut this is the moment when women want to cuddle most. Are you saying men DGAF about anything in that moment? He may still be tired and a bit zoned out, but the problem is greater when it's solo masturbation because there's nothing to replace the horniness afterwards, it's just emptiness. Actually being with somebody after the fact has the advantage of being able to provide an emotional warmth and a comfortable connection, which can temper the sense of "well, that's it, I did the thing, now what… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 04:16 AM |
| 2 | Post-Nut Clarity and what it suggests about malesHere is your reminder that involuntary erections exist and are not necessarily related to horniness, consent, or deviant desires. Sometimes they're just caused by being relaxed, or by stimulation from clothing, or whatever else. They don't always indicate that a man is "up for it" and they can be both inconvenient and very uncomfortable. You either have to just hope they go away or help them go away by masturbating (the latter is quicker, even if you don't necessarily feel like it, but obviously… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Debate : The Manosphere is wrong with „Women hate emotional man“ because emotional and vulnerable are 2 things.you put on a deep Pop track to appreciate your girl Act of service. you buy your girl flowers Act of service. you are very affectionate and appreciative off her Act of service. post a nice „couple goals“ picture, with a nice vibe Act of service. any other „cringe“ romantic gesture Act of service. you talk with her about your goals and the obstacles your facing (no not like a bi*ch, normally.) Meaningless restatement of the attitude your post claims to be trying to explain. Which you directly con… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 03:35 AM |
| 8 | Apparently, a lot of women now want to meet someone while "running errands"That, I would have to say, is not a convincing source. A couple of clicks would probably take you to a woman screaming blue murder about how men should never approach a woman because it's degrading, terrifying, predatory, and should be a crime punishable by death. She would be an equally credible voice. They'd both be videos of one woman expressing an opinion on TikTok and we have no real way of knowing which one represents the greater percentage of women. Except one of them is expressing a vagu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 03:27 AM |
| 3 | Should people with little to no dating experience be allowed to discuss or debate dating issues?Given that wanting, trying to achieve, and the experience of not being able to find sex and relationships are part of the context around sex and relationships, yes, of course. Too easy. Did you expect a raging rant about how you're an elitist, entitled, humble-bragging bitch? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 03:21 AM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?The "advice" people give... do they seriously think I haven't tried that? I still go out, try to meet people, try new things... despite approaching others, usually just trying to be friendly, I'm ignored. They don't want me bothering them. Yeah, that's kind of it, right there. They don't know how to give advice for a situation that's so far out of their experience, because what worked for them and the people they know is the "normal" way: just kind of exist, go places, talk to people, and stuff … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 02:19 AM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?Where you are saying that people who don’t know what you experience can’t give relevant advice is probably true in the sense that if advice that would be applicable for them/ most other people is advice you find unhelpful then i don’t know what else can be done by the person you are asking unfortunately. They don't know how because most people have never had to go through those depths and don't know the position of the person who's trying to escape them. Which, logically, I understand. How can y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/24 02:12 AM |
| 4 | Do men even like women anymore?Appreciate the kind words, thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:49 PM |
| 4 | Do men even like women anymore?Not nearly the first. I've seen plenty. But yes, there has been one in the last day or two and I wouldn't blame anybody for voicing an opinion on that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:48 PM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?Yeah, it makes sense from a business perspective to keep screwing with people, especially men, who are the biggest and most desperate part of their customer base. Disgustingly immoral and hugely antisocial, but... well, corporations gonna corporation, I guess. But it certainly works out in their favour that there also happens to be a feminist drive to scare the shit out of men so we don't approach women in public spaces and bypass the whole dating site/app scene entirely. I don't think that's an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 02:49 PM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?Well, I wish you luck, but yeah, I tried dating apps for a while too and it didn't do my mental health any favours. Often I just didn't even feel like interacting with it (which I'm sure you know is a fatal error, because you have to keep swiping, to stand any chance) because it just felt so pointless. I eventually deleted it all too, because it felt like a window to a world I wasn't welcome in, something which would only sit there on my phone demanding that I throw money at the problem (literal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 02:09 PM |
| 4 | Do men even like women anymore?I suspect it's a mixture of both. I've spoken to a male friend about my issues and he doesn't get it either, he tries but everything that comes out of his mouth is an infuriating clueless platitude, like it should be just that easy for me, as he feels it was for him. No matter how many times and in how many ways I try to explain it, he just doesn't have the insight to do or say anything of practical use. At this point I don't want to because it'll probably cause an argument, or me to feel unhear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 01:53 PM |
| 8 | Do men even like women anymore?Absolutely. Certainly around here, a mixture of platitudes (which women deliver with either dispassion or mild contempt), dismissal and invalidation, and anger at men expressing any difficulty that might sound even just for a brief second as though somebody's thinking of anything but women's needs. But elsewhere too, it's not at all limited to this sub, this topic, this website, or even online. People are either ignorant of that or are intentionally ignoring it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 01:33 PM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?Thank you for saying so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 01:30 PM |
| 4 | Do men even like women anymore?You dont know me, and you don't know anything about me. Likewise. So why are you telling me what I should be "over" and by what age I should've done that? I didn't know you were a gay person in a post communist country and you don't know I spent 30 years of my autistic life being bullied and abused by almost every circle of people I had around me, including my own immediate family. You should know better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 12:33 PM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?i love to antagonize/irritate you guys because you take the bait so easily and can’t take the ribbing. you guys are extremely sensitive and its funny to me. OK, so how would you feel if I were to sit here laughing at women who have had miscarriages, are unable to have children but desperately want to, and women who are victims of abuse? Would that be "funny"? Would that be "ribbing"? Would those women be at fault for being "extremely sensitive"? I'll save you the bother: If you say yes then you'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 12:03 PM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?I’m sorry that’s the messaging that is aimed at you. If that is your experience, then I can’t really refute it - but it’s not universally true. But it is. It's aimed at all men. The difference, however, is as I mentioned: those who are not socially privileged must pay attention to it in order to not get further chastised and cast out, whereas those who are socially privileged can freely ignore it. It doesn't matter to you because you're a woman and it's not applicable to your gender and it doesn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 11:44 AM |
| 5 | Do men even like women anymore?You have to release yourself from those problems. I'm sure that's considerably easier when the world is kissing your feet, throwing resources and encouragement at you like it's going out of style, and not calling you predatory scum. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 11:38 AM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?Do unto others. You're doing, they're responding in kind. If you want to catch less shit, stop throwing so much shit. You'll say you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm quite sure of that, but don't bother. Because you either do know what I'm talking about and you're fine with that or you don't and you need to start paying attention to what men are saying. Which you won't want to do, of course, because you don't care. But if those are the bitter seeds you're sowing then you can't be surprised… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 11:37 AM |
| 7 | Do men even like women anymore?This is why men don't speak up. Because, if and when they do, they're being shamed for not silently shouldering it all themselves. "Speak out!" "It's OK to cry!" "Share your feelings!" "This is why men have mental health issues!" "No, not like that, you lazy misogynistic sack of shit, quit expecting me to do your work for you, it's not my problem, fuck off." All of those things you say they should've got over by the time they're 18, 20, 25, they're still likely to still be experiencing them, and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 11:31 AM |
| – | Have you ever experienced a woman or a group of women makeup a whole story on the spot based off a minor interaction with a man ?There's a reason why so many sitcoms, dramas, and romcoms are based on this very premise, some stupid misunderstanding and an entire narrative spun from some brief confusion or observation without context. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:29 AM |
| 6 | Do men even like women anymore?They are parallels, yes, but that's not what your OP said. You made a point to single out men. You could've made it gender-neutral and ask whether men and women as a whole, or even men and women in this sub, like the other. But you didn't. You took aim at men and you fired. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:19 AM |
| 8 | Do men even like women anymore?Now you're not even trying to appear to be engaging in good faith. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:18 AM |
| 1 | Do men even like women anymore?Because you're implying that disadvantage is a gendered issue. It is not. Men were expected to provide for those women, men were expected to go to war to protect those women (during two of the worst wars ever known to mankind), and a great many men never had any of the social or institutional power, or material resources, to do anything more than survive. Often at great physical cost, toiling in mines with toxic dust, noxious gasses, backbreaking physical labour, risk of collapse, or climbing cr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:15 AM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?Men do not receive shame and disrespect everywhere. Look around you - men are still largely the leaders of companies, countries and institutions. Men are hugely celebrated in business, science, arts and sports all over the place. Yes, and I could point to female media stars, influential writers, CEOs, or policy makers, or the multiple female prime ministers the UK has had, and say that women are respected too. Clearly those particular women were able to get to where they ended up. Those men and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 06:06 AM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?Thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:58 AM |
| 9 | Do men even like women anymore?I do have to say you're far more eloquent with your responses here than I've ever been on this sub imo. Thank you, kind of you to say so. This reminds me of the stories of people who drink or get high to eliminate the pain they feel, whether physical or mental. It still gets me it's such a commonly referred to solution for dating woes to be "find something else", as if it's just recreational activity one does to pass the time. It really does feel these sentiments are stated by those are "privile… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:56 AM |
| 1 | Do men even like women anymore?Well within the last 1.5 centuries women couldn't vote, own land, get a mortgage, get birth control, or get a credit card without a husband's approval. Nor could most men, certainly in the early part of that period. There's about a 10 year period in UK history where all 21 year old men could vote but not all women could. Most men weren't landed gentry or wealthy landowners. We were just as much powerless grunts then as now. Were the few who did have power more often men? Yes, perhaps (and they o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:39 AM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?This is a poor take. Men also did and do a lot of terrible things in the world - do you feel it’s justified for all men to be blamed? Do you? The reason men use this argument is because they (not unreasonably) feel constantly bombarded with messages that men are useless, dirty, lazy, filthy, misogynistic, predatory scum and that women can and will always do better than them, if they weren't so held down. Of course men are going to highlight how men as a gender have been important. Because men ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:33 AM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?Honestly if you feel personally blamed for issues you yourself have nothing to do. You are in need of therapy. In a world where people aren't constantly making sure you believe you're the problem, yes. But that's not the world we live in. Women even agree with that when they speak about being disrespected and blamed by men. Why should they seek therapy when it's men who are the problem, constantly coming onto them, calling them sluts and golddiggers, or refusing them their rightful equal place i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:30 AM |
| 10 | Do men even like women anymore?The only women that I know that view men in this way have been personally wronged by men and have adopted this view as a way to "get back" at them (gets cheated on, so now all future relationships become transactional bc 'men ain't shit') but by and large I don't think women as a whole view men as ATMs or favor machines. Kinda similar to dudes getting turned down by mean girls enough times to think that women are all pieces of shit This is an example of both the generalising and the double stand… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:27 AM |
| 16 | Do men even like women anymore?You are an example of a person who is never going to understand, is not trying to understand, and has no intention of ever allowing yourself to understand. You have decided your stance and you are not going to permit yourself to deviate from it, no matter the consequences. This is part of the problem. You are demonstrating the opposition men face when trying to seek any indication that they are not entirely at fault for every personal or social problem which exists in the world. They are right t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:21 AM |
| 1 | Do men even like women anymore?Glad I'm saying things you think need to be said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:19 AM |
| 4 | Do men even like women anymore?It is the singular focus of so many people who comment here, in addition to complaining incessantly about women. What did you expect? Discussions of 15th century Greek architecture? Experimental modern cuisine? Maintenance tips for efficient vehicle engine operation? The discussion you see here is obviously going to be centred on social, romantic, and sexual difficulties because that's explicitly the subject it's dedicated to. That is a tiny window into what men here think, feel, believe, do, ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:04 AM |
| 2 | Do men even like women anymore?That feels like it lines up with my experience as a man diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Including the numbers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 05:01 AM |
| 19 | Do men even like women anymore?OK, and women's role in this is...? Absent? Irrelevant? Unseen? Women make up over 50% of the population, they're peers/sisters/aunts/grandmothers, they're responsible for raising those boys from motherhood through school teaching, they're therapists and doctors, they're the people who men are going to find when they reach out for help. Even the phrase itself, "toxic masculinity", when those troubled men and boys look for help, do you think they appreciate or feel welcomed by that kind of langua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 04:52 AM |
| 3 | Do men even like women anymore?Why don't men come together to support each other in a brotherly way when they see others expressing hateful sentiments? I'm not personally very good at that, on a person to person level, but I'm here because of a very similar reason: because I kept seeing increasingly ridiculous coverage of "incels" and I felt I needed to combat the insane way they (and lonely men in general) were being spoken about. The things I say here are in service of expressing the life experiences of myself and other men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 04:40 AM |
| 18 | Do men even like women anymore?It's odd you start by saying it's a sexist generalization and then end with explaining why it's totally justified. Because not every man expresses the same sentiments (but are often presumed to be doing so and lumped in with men who are) and those who do don't always express them for the same reasons (eg: MGTOW may have had a terrible divorce, incels may be feeling similarly bad but because they haven't had a relationship at all). The OP, and other discussions which begin with sentiments like th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 04:29 AM |
| 8 | Do men even like women anymore?Kind of you to say so, thank you! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 04:10 AM |
| 5 | Do men even like women anymore?I wouldn't, but I appreciate the vote of confidence! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 04:09 AM |
| 111 | Do men even like women anymore?Did you have anything discuss that isn't a lazy sexist stereotype which just so happens to also make women and successful men appear morally superior? Oh, you didn't? OK. Why do you think those men are in the position they're in? Why do you think somebody would develop that resentment, bitterness, angst, frustration, and anger? Typically because they've been left out and denied reasonable human development, opportunities to feel involved and invested, any sense of worth or purpose, and quite pos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/24 02:57 AM |
| 16 | Just because men are argued to have it “worst” in getting a girl doesn’t mean women can’t have it badSo essentially what you're saying is "men might find life difficult but shut up because men bad and this is all about me because I'm a woman and your problems aren't important"? Why can those men not be right about their experiences without some kind of rebuttal or challenge or "yes but" or "whatabout"? Then, if they become upset at not being listened to yet again, despite being in a legitimately terrible place, they get told they're dismissive, sexist, and that they lack understanding for what … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/24 04:25 AM |
| 3 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?This isn't a place to vent or troll or hyperbolize. But it surely can't have escaped your notice that a considerable number of posters here treat it exactly that way. In fact, I've seen women literally express in bold black and white that the only reason they're here is to shit on and laugh at lonely men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/24 01:59 AM |
| 3 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?in the attempt to help out dudes that are having trouble That's... not how I would describe it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/24 01:55 AM |
| 4 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?OK, so you dismissed my comment entirely and told me I was making shit up. I am autistic, that is my experience, I know damn well how autistic men get treated and I know damn well that other men have had the same experience. I've seen the statistics, I know what the prospects look like for men on the spectrum. I even gave you the one about autistic men vs autistic women in relationships. But all you brought to the discussion is the equivalent of "lol whatever dude". That's why men start to becom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/24 01:46 AM |
| 8 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?Men can't get away with being autistic because OTHER MEN are extremely negatively judgy towards those guys. Really? We're going with that? You don't think autistic men experience being harshly rejected by women and told they're "creepy", "weird", "nerdy", "freaks", "scary"... for things they haven't even actually done, just because it sets off people's "danger: non-conforming deviant socially inept man possibly unstable and violent" alarm that those men "have something off about them"? Edit: Aga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/24 01:40 AM |
| 7 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?You just can't accept that men might have anything harder than you, on average, can you? All the shit you say is a problem for autistic women, that's a problem for autistic men too, except with worse prospects and stricter gender role demands. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/24 01:36 AM |
| 9 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?Men also have to deal with those but, not only do we have to deal with the meltdowns, we have to deal with the stigma of men who are overly emotional and the expectation that it means we're prone to violently hurting or killing people too. In either case it might be seen as childish or overemotional, but women are far less likely to be treated as though they're going to go on a murder rampage just because their favourite show isn't on or they got dinner late, because people just don't tend to re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 11:14 PM |
| – | Women and the body positivity movement, why is it wrong?Body positivity isn't bad. You should still be able to feel confident in your own skin, despite a blemish or a scar or a hair/eye colour or a slightly asymmetric face or your height/shape or despite a disability. Highly selective acceptance and (sexist) application of its principles is, however, and so is taking it to an extreme and suggesting that there's no reason to be concerned that you weigh 500lbs because you're just perfect the way you are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 05:36 PM |
| 11 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?Thank you, appreciate the kind words. I hope so too, because I'm one of them. I mentioned in another comment that this can turn into a downward spiral, a cycle of failure and loss of ability to try, because it really does have huge impacts on your ability to develop as a person, as an adult, as a member of society. Far beyond even relationships, but housing, financially, academically, employment, everything is tied to that core ability to integrate, to feel good, to amass resources, to feel conf… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 05:16 PM |
| 1 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Yeah, I don't think it's healthy either, because the better solution for everybody is that everybody gets along and finds what they want without beating their humanity to death on a brick wall of failure, nihilism, and sociopathy. It was semi-joking, in that if you really do believe that to be the correct strategy then speed dating would presumably work to accomplish it (and if it doesn't then you've found a partner and no longer need that strategy), but I don't really believe in it myself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 05:07 PM |
| 25 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?I've realized one thing reading this sub. Many young men here are extremely immature or even on autism spectrum with 0 experience in real life - like 10 yo kids or even less.. It is really hard for them to accept that life is unpredictable, and in reality we have a very little control and understanding what's going on. We try our best, we 'practice' living and that's it. They want a solution, answer, logical rule, justice or even injustice but at least predictable injustice. But when you're subj… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 04:18 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Dating apps are becoming the only socially acceptable way to get a relationshipYeah, that's something I don't think people realise: how much it can impact other areas of your life. Especially in terms of living space and finances. But also mental health and energy to do other things too, like have hobbies or a job. It starts simple, just a few knockbacks, a few rejections, maybe the kids at school don't want to hang around with you. Repeated exposure to that can plunge you into anxiety and depression (because those are supposed to be physiological indicators that things ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 01:42 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Dating apps are becoming the only socially acceptable way to get a relationshipBecause of the women who have positions of power and influence and inject personal preferences and ideological narratives into the same discussion. Women are seen to be vulnerable, as prey to men, and we've developed social attitudes which mean they need to be listened to and protected by society and institutions. They're spoken about as being right, at some higher, broader level, about what they personally feel. This in turn means that if a woman or a powerful voice on behalf of women (particul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 11:31 AM |
| 12 | CMV: Dating apps are becoming the only socially acceptable way to get a relationshipAs a man who grew up being seen as the loner weirdo nerd in school, that's not true. That kind of boy/man gets to understand that he will be seen negatively even if he tries to do what everybody else seems to succeed in doing. He'll be called a creep for... well, I was going to say asking out a girl in class, but he doesn't even have to do that, his peers deem him to be socially unacceptable long before he even tries to make a move like that. I understand that for me and others similar to me thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 11:06 AM |
| 2 | UK: children commit 18 rapes a DAY: Shock official figures reveal 15,000 rapes and sex attacks by under-18s in 2022 OP: Feminist government wants to control boys.Mobile service providers do - or did, last I knew - have filters by default, at least on some SIMs. Pay as you go, especially, you do, or at least used to have to, explicitly get unfiltered internet unlocked by contacting the provider (and even then I gather there are still some government-controlled blocks for really really really bad stuff, which apply to pretty much any UK internet connection, which cannot be unblocked by anybody). I guess because anybody could just go and buy a PAYG SIM with… | /r/MensRights | 10/01/24 05:23 PM |
| 10 | UK: children commit 18 rapes a DAY: Shock official figures reveal 15,000 rapes and sex attacks by under-18s in 2022 OP: Feminist government wants to control boys.I've been quite vocal about certain types of men and boys being very concerned about behaviour relating to relationships and sex. Those who don't wish to break rules, those who don't wish to make their crushes or first loves or early experience partners uncomfortable, those who very much took to heart that idea that you should never do anything which might hurt another. Especially these days where anything and everything can and, at some point, probably will be considered offensive or predatory … | /r/MensRights | 10/01/24 11:15 AM |
| 2 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?It's rough, man, but I guess all I can offer is the knowledge that somebody out there gets how difficult it is. The only thing I can say is that it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. Until I'm truly done, there's still a chance. I didn't think I'd ever have a job or live in my own place, took me until my mid-30s to get there. I was stuck in an abusive household, considered incapable and disabled by autism, for nearly 20 years of my adult life. If I'd listened to those thoughts and played close-… | /r/MensRights | 10/01/24 02:15 AM |
| – | Dick size matters to most people, and men with small penises are better off abstaining from sex to protect themselves from being personally and socially humiliatedBaitiest bait that ever baited. Which is saying something, given the kind of dross I've bothered to respond to in the past. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 07:01 AM |
| 9 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Right? I don't know if women understand this at all. It doesn't have to be Looney Tunes heart eyes on stalks seductive beauty, with perfect supermodel curves, perky breasts, 4ft legs in stockings, and an ass like a genetically modified peach. Kind interaction is sufficient, for many men, to induce just as much of a desire for connection and closeness. I've been there too. I've known women myself (well, one comes to mind in particular) who I can say would not be considered to be anywhere close to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 06:49 AM |
| 1 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I don't think there's necessarily a massive chance that it'll make a difference, but I do think there's some chance, a chance that you don't get in a digital medium. I'm sort of split between "it's still not going to work out" and "I think there are ways you could better take advantage of it than you could with OLD". If you've got no better options and you're not going to get totally rinsed by the company trying to sell you a seat at the table, I figure it's worth exploring, if you're still look… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 06:08 AM |
| 2 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?The trade-off to that is that you might be able to pull something back with wit/charm/banter/charisma. Well, more than you could on OLD anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:42 AM |
| 2 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Wrong quote? 😅 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:41 AM |
| 4 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?You're making the assumption that the women they meet are open to them. Those guys might say yes to 75% of those women. But it doesn't matter if those women don't match back, does it? It only takes one side to be picky, even if the other side would be open to sleeping with a dead dog or a relationship with a talking alarm clock. Men are quite clearly trying, as evidenced by the gender ratios on online dating. They want to get picked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:29 AM |
| 5 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?If you speed date 100 women and not one of them worked out then it’s time to work on yourself or be less picky. Which I assume you apply to the woman you mention in the OP too? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:27 AM |
| 15 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Why don’t men say the same about themselves when presented with 100 women who they all reject? It's telling that you think they do. Unless you're putting hyper-religious men in a debauched strip bar, or trying to couple up the inmates of a combined mental hospital and extreme weight loss clinic, not that many men are going to run through 100 women and go "nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope..." That's an absurd suggestion, especially in the context of men who struggle to get any attention. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:21 AM |
| 11 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?If you were a guy who: a) isn't successful enough in other dating arenas to already have access to partners, and b) frequently experiences rejection, online and offline then why would you expect these events to be any different? If you're alone enough to feel like these events are a necessary thing for you to explore but also that any time you ask a woman out or put up a profile somewhere you get either silence or "ew, no", how would that make speed dating any less humiliating? What about speed … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:16 AM |
| 5 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?What he's saying is it's essentially the same mechanism. You get presented to some number of women in a row, just like your profile on OLD, and they essentially look at your profile (you, in real life, in this case), and then they get to swipe left or right when you get up and leave their table. Which he's right about, in that sense. I don't agree that it's quite that simple, I feel like it's a more complex dynamic with greater opportunity to influence the outcome as a guy, but he's not wrong ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 05:08 AM |
| 3 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Yes, at some later time, if you match. But the speed dating itself was not a date. It was an opportunity to potentially make a date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 04:55 AM |
| 8 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I don't see that either of those suggestions is unrealistic. They're both very possible things to happen. As others have suggested, attending speed dating suggests that neither the men or the women have found what they want in other, more socially acceptable/popular places. Chances are reasonable that both genders who attend might be either too unattractive in some way and/or too picky in some way. If you're realistic about that and willing to be flexible then there's no problem with it. I'm not… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 04:53 AM |
| 4 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I agree with what you're saying and have hinted at it in a couple of other comments, but there's an alternative and more hopeful view I could present. The one way of looking at it is that these women are so picky or trashy that they can't get anything anywhere else. Not at the bar, not on Instagram, not on online dating apps. Either they refuse every offer they get because men "aren't good enough" or they're so unbelievably bad human beings that no man would have them. That's the pessimistic vie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 04:40 AM |
| 11 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I might catch some flack from men for selling myself cheap here, but I don't necessarily have a problem with those things. As long as they're not too egregious. I'm not going to sit there and get insulted or lectured at or wrung dry for free drinks, but I'm certainly open to just having a dumb time with some drunk women. I'm not talking casual desperation sex, I mean I'm open to just letting it go and seeing what happens. Within reasonable limits, if two people can have a carefree time together,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 04:21 AM |
| 6 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Even if women don't necessarily take to my particular presentation, it's still a hell of a lot easier for me to show enthusiasm, passion, excitement, energy, and interest in person than it is online. Pace and intonation of speech, being able to respond in split-second realtime, spontaneous wit, warmth, facial expressions, body language, even basic things like where you're looking or whether you're nodding your head. There's just so much more about a person when you see them in motion and more to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:59 AM |
| 7 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Well, I guess it'd fit the bill for men who claim that you just need to get numb to rejection by doing it over and over and over. But without much of a risk that their boyfriend is going to come back from the toilets and relocate your nose. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:54 AM |
| 1 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I do have my doubts that I would find "the one" at an event like that, there's really no guarantee that you'd like anybody there (and if you do there's no guarantee of reciprocation), so I do see where you're coming from. On the other hand, I feel like my interest in a speed dating event would be to just... show up and try to have a laugh. Try not to take it too seriously, get a couple of drinks, and have an excuse to talk to some people I wouldn't have met before. Maybe I hit it off with somebo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:52 AM |
| 8 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I agree with the commenter elsewhere in the thread who points out that these are not dates. They're time-limited interviews of sorts. There's not really any time to genuinely explore each other and there's an element which feels a little like rummaging through a crap at a garage sale to find something that maybe isn't a rusty old tool or a worn out rag that the seller claims is a vintage t-shirt, unemotionally discarding the unwanted junk in the hopes that there'll be some kind of priceless mira… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:45 AM |
| 8 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Is this a genuine discussion about the potential opportunities of speed dating as a legitimate practical real world solution or are you just looking for easy potshots? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:40 AM |
| 16 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?Yeah, there's one company (which I've alluded to multiple times in this thread already) that runs events in the UK, where they don't show you who's going/how many are going, they don't really organise or manage anything, they just say "thanks for the cash, some humans might be in this building at this time, good luck". Weirdly, as the comments under automod reminded me, they also seem to book gay/lesbian/bi/straight dating events for the same venue at the same time. So you might show up to what … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:34 AM |
| 5 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?As the other commenter said (edit: well, I inferred it from the mention of it being $50 to show up), you don't have to pay to go to a bar. I would actually be willing to pay to go to a more structured event-like gathering than show up at a bar and hope to hit on some random woman, I would prefer to know that the women want to engage (and potentially date afterwards). Random cold approaches and casual sex aren't things I'm interested in. But, as I said in another comment, from reading reviews of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:26 AM |
| 4 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?I've been tempted, but I've checked up on some of the (limited) options where I am and it seems like most of the events get cancelled or postponed, or like 3 people show up and they're all one gender. The company that runs them doesn't seem to be willing or able to help and you don't even get a refund if nobody shows, you get free entry to the next event instead. Which also might have no people at it. They don't even actually host anything, they just arrange some space at some random local bar a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 03:20 AM |
| 2 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleThe fact that you can say that with a straight face, expecting me to acquiesce to and appease you and your sensitivities directly demonstrates the imbalance. You, without a grain of irony, appear to believe that your privileged access to a better quality of life is a fair and righteous god-given universal right and that nobody should question the benefits of your unequal, greater, position. You are the one who appears to feel "entitled" here, not me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 01:36 AM |
| 0 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleI said nothing about feeling entitled. Certainly not more entitled. But if you refuse to acknowledge the dynamics and unfair, unappreciated pressures (and, worse, actively deny them or behave hypocritically) then you cannot complain when somebody raises them as an issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 01:27 AM |
| 1 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?I don't always live up to the standard I'd like, but it's just a personal thing. Not a professional, unfortunately! But thank you nonetheless, I appreciate the kind words. 🙂 | /r/MensRights | 09/01/24 12:51 AM |
| 1 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleSaid with zero acknowledgement of the way the field is tilted so hard that men practically fall down it towards and rain onto women, in comparison to how difficult it is for a man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 12:50 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?OK, well, (most of) those are things which could get a man accused of behaving improperly. That's the problem. One woman - well, many, even most women - might be expecting/anticipating some of that non/weakly-sexual touch, but others (claim, quite strongly to) find it gross and intrusive. Who are we most likely to pay attention to? Who are likely to present us with the worst outcomes, the most alarming potential situations? The ones who hate it. So that makes it a risk for us to attempt it, one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 12:30 PM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?I know, right? It's weird how this sub seems to simultaneously hold the opinion that sex on the first date is just what women expect to happen yet also we're disgusting for thinking we should be pursuing that. I get that it might be different people, but these things are often said with such authoritative tones that either one of them appears to be speaking for all women (especially the ones who express anything near the "ew, no, never, I don't want men anywhere near me, you're all disgusting" e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 12:22 PM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?So what would be your definition of expressing physical interest? Because I don't think we're talking "ask her what her hobbies are" when we're referring to "expressing interest" and "creating a spark" here, are we? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 12:14 PM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?OK, allow me to be a bit more specific. Edit: To highlight some relevant to male sexuality: "She doesn't know you're a good guy" "Stop bothering them"/"Lads, she's not interested"/"That's not cool" "Ew no. I have a boyfriend" - "Leave our friend alone" "I am sexually harassed on the street every time I go out" "Intrusive staring and leering #noexcuse" "Staring of a sexual nature is sexual harassment and is not tolerated" (with instructions to call the Transport Police) Do those sound like hallma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 11:11 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?And do you think it's healthy to talk about extremes (perhaps 20% of the population if we take into consideration both ends of extremes) while ignoring the vast majority? Can you draw conclusions based on extreme, minority cases? I'm talking about the situation that men in this position are in, many of whom will be the kinds of men who struggle enough to have come here to discuss it. But the messaging is not niche or some extreme hardcore fanatical sect of feminism, it's out there, in the real w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 11:07 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?I think you might be missing the wider context of what I'm saying here. It goes beyond one woman, beyond one date, beyond one pairing or one circumstance. It's about the cultural messaging in general making it very difficult for men who didn't experience readily available success to know where the lines on the road are. We're constrained between what we believe is right/what we're told is right and what we see women actually seeming to expect or respond to. The things we're taught growing up, al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 10:43 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?Yeah, I'm talking about extremes because that's the level of messaging we're exposed to, as men who really want to, and try to, play by the right rules. This isn't about me wanting some shy Christian virgin, not really, it's about me (and many men like me) receiving cultural messages that the thing women want so badly is the thing we want to be. Moreover, to be anything other than that is to perpetuate terrible misogyny and potentially criminal behaviour. We're being told that the thing we're tr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 10:28 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?This is why some men think they've been lied to. Some of us were raised to expect that relationships are just like that - slow, trusting, romantic, don't go in all guns blazing, sex comes later, etc. That's what we believed, that's what many of us still want. But then we come and talk about it in places like that this and apparently that's niche now? The thing that feminists keep complaining is so rare? The thing we were always taught to do, to be respectful to women, to wait (at least some time… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 10:24 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?But we can't do that. I mean, we can but it doesn't necessarily mean we'll ever get anywhere. For starters we don't necessarily get the opportunities to be that causal about it and we're the ones expected to push the boundaries and move things forward. I mean, that's the whole point of this thread, right? Not sending enough sexual messages = not interested/exciting enough. Secondly, we're drowning in messages that we should be this but actually what women want is that. We're bombarded with shami… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 10:19 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?No spark is one thing, being constantly told "if you show sexual expression towards a woman and/or push boundaries without explicit consent then you are effectively no better than a rapist" is entirely another. Not that we necessarily want to push hard anyway, but if the options are "women expect sexual forwardness and if you don't show it then you're out of the game" and "feel like you're acting like a law-breaking asshole" then we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. There's no room to ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 10:03 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?The women who want a faster pace are not your target. But the ones who are: a) Are also hiding and b) Keep hearing that we don't exist and that all men want to be inside a woman before you can say "condom" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 09:56 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?If it were just people being different I'd have less of an issue with it. But it's not. It's the blaming and shaming that comes with it. Either way we get it wrong it's "our" fault and, not only is it "our" fault, if we get it wrong one way we continue to feel like/be treated like inert sad soft losers and our mental health continues to swirl the toilet and in the other direction the worst case scenario is that it could run a risk of being deemed sexist/misogynistic/harassment/assault if we try … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 09:46 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?Reason #2837 why inexperienced men are so freaked out about experienced women. This. Because apparently we're expected to just be right there with our dicks out thwapping them in the crotch, like a happy dog's tail, otherwise we're "not into them". Even though women apparently think sex is all we think about and that's apparently stupid and dumb and male gaze and objectification. But then when we don't do that because we like to take it slow, or we're trying to be considerate and respectful, it'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 07:20 AM |
| 7 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?Many of the things you describe seem very similar to my experience as a woman- except from the other side of the coin it’s typically blamed on “the patriarchy.” There is a difference here which I don't think can be so easily dismissed. I acknowledge that there are Aspie women out there who struggle too, but (although I'm not trying to make this a competition) I can't help but feel there's an extra level of difficulty. When your social inadequacy can be measured in the number of years in prison s… | /r/MensRights | 08/01/24 01:59 AM |
| 9 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?I sincerely suggest not going to places that tell you you’re worthless and unwanted. I think you may have missed what I was trying to say. I'll try to clarify. There is currently a lot of pressure on men, from a feminist-leaning culture which is amplified and proliferated by feminist-friendly (or at least politically shrewd) institutions, to be as invisible and accommodating to women as possible. We are told that our sexuality is inappropriate and offensive, we are blamed for sharing a gender wi… | /r/MensRights | 08/01/24 01:05 AM |
| 2 | Given How Excluded LGBT People Feel in Straight Spaces, It's Depressing How They Simply Can't Understand Why Certain Men Find ALL Social Spaces HostileI think the OP still raises a fair point though. You would expect people who belong to groups frequently vocal about feelings of exclusion and oppression to be more aware of how a straight man might not be super-duper comfortable being blasted with constant messages about how he's an unwelcome deviant predatory threat. I mean, gay people - no, hold up, let me rephrase that: gay men - had to go through a lot of that, it was literally illegal, including punishments up to death for some hundreds of… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/24 12:46 AM |
| 3 | Given How Excluded LGBT People Feel in Straight Spaces, It's Depressing How They Simply Can't Understand Why Certain Men Find ALL Social Spaces HostileIf there are 3 floors with 10 rooms each and 1 floor is dedicated to women. It means that women get on average 33% higher chance of finding a hotel room than I do limiting my options to go to places. It is discrimination. Also a point to be made about this in terms of long-term accommodation too. In casually contemplating relocating (because social/recreational opportunities are poor where I live) I've seen various properties listed for rental as women-only. Which is quite frustrating when it's … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/24 12:31 AM |
| 3 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleYup. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 12:05 AM |
| 9 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?Right, but if you're so far outside of the prevailing standard that it means you are, for all intents and purposes, excluded from participating in normal social activities... well, that's a problem. Especially if that happens to an increasing number of young men, amongst the hopelessness and futility of present-day life. It's fine to say on an individual level that "if they're that shallow then screw them, they're not good enough for me anyway", and I wouldn't disagree. But when you're faced wit… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 11:57 PM |
| -1 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singlenot getting your dick wet You've proved just the same about yourself as you claim about me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 11:48 PM |
| 8 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?I don't buy into the 6/6/6 theories and all that jazz but, on the whole, yeah, that's the message I'm getting from all of these discussions and attitudes. If you're a man who can afford to be confident (because people think you're attractive in some way and you've been encouraged by those around you to get what you want) then it's fine. The rules don't apply to you. Ignore them and still get rewarded. If you're a man who can't afford to be confident (because you know people never give you the be… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:59 PM |
| 9 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?Meanwhile, if you express this as a concern, you're told "nobody's getting shamed or punished for a respectful approach, just treat women like human beings and it'll be fine". Of course, "respectful" is subjective and any anxiety or clumsiness or distaste perceived by the woman may well be considered fair game to call out online, to film the guy, to make a big deal about it, to call it violence and misogyny, to post him on "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" Facebook groups, to tell all her friends an… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:56 PM |
| 16 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?It's also rather idealistic, though. If nobody wants to touch you with a 50ft pole because you're not hot enough for a modern photo-driven dating scene then it doesn't matter how deep or kind or interesting you are, nobody's going to bother to find out. So you just end up with a bunch of selfish, shallow, superficial people indulging in nihilistic hedonism, even though they might not care one bit about each other and in some cases may even be abusive with it, whilst those who actually care are l… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:50 PM |
| 16 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?The real question is, why shouldnt she? Because we don't live in a social studies textbook. The fact that 200 years ago in another country a bad thing happened to a woman because it technically wasn't illegal has no bearing on what you or I do now, today, or what treatment we deserve. We should not be exploited and blamed for something we didn't do. | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:47 PM |
| 11 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?Sure, that's kind of where I was going. All these "right wing" figures that everybody hates getting men's attention, they at least offer something, something which sounds understanding and inclusive and positive, a role model, an attitude, something to chase and believe in. Even if they're not sincere, can't back it up, and half of what they say is bullshit, they're at least paying attention to the problem existing. Rather than "there's no problem, men just need to get their dicks chopped off an… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:36 PM |
| 23 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?But that's often presented as the only appropriate time/place to express romantic/sexual interest in women. It's been branded deviant and dangerous to do so elsewhere, in the real world, where people used to (have to) do it. Women, so they say, are "just trying to get work done", "just trying to get educated", "just trying to hang out with their girls", "just trying to get groceries". They're "sick of being seen as sex objects" or "sick of being harassed", they're "sick of men acting entitled" a… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:21 PM |
| 7 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?The problem (although I largely agree with what you're saying) is that this isn't just an online problem. It's HR departments at work. It's schools teaching boys skewed and overly cautious attitudes towards women and relationships. It's movies. It's police and government posters on walls in public indicating that men are predatory, poisonous, violent, and shouldn't express romantic or sexual intentions towards women. It's true that it's worse online, it's unfiltered and both the app ecosystems a… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:13 PM |
| 19 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?And then men seek out those willing to tell them the truth like Andrew Tate and everyone is so surprised. I don't know that I'd necessarily call what he says "the truth", he's clearly out for himself and willing to make noise to get any attention he can, truth or not. But it's proof enough for me that Peterson gets lumped in with him to know that people want to shut down any positive role models or encouragement for young men which don't align precisely with progressive speech/values. They are c… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 10:06 PM |
| -3 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleOf course it does. Have you tried telling starving Africans that? "Sorry you've got no food, but hey, cheer up, you're not dead! Don't be wasting your limited calories on being sad about getting stomach cramps, look on the bright side, live life whilst you've got it!" My point is that if something fundamental is so consistently missing from your life, sometimes you don't get to just "live well in the meantime" because it's a very important thing you're missing, it has damaging effects on mental … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 09:53 PM |
| 13 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?So what's left? No apps, OK, skewed gender ratios, commercial manipulation and algorithms, not a great environment. I agree. Cold approaching? Not acceptable for most men, unless they happen to be attractive/charming enough or so utterly carefree and ignorant that they'll just hit on women indiscriminately to see who's DTF. Sure. Now what? Work? School? No can do, that's dangerous. It might turn out great, but at what cost if it doesn't? How many times can you try before you get a reputation or … | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 09:41 PM |
| 6 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleYour premise in all those comments is “society, and women especially, made us angry and hatey” Describing cultural and social effects on marginalised groups? What an absolute bastard I must be, eh? Key word: describing. Not condoning, not advocating for, not inciting, but describing. Like I said above, if I warn you not to cross a dangerous road, I'm not telling you I'm going to enjoy wiping your spleen off my headlights, I'm telling you that there are consequences which are not in my control th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 09:32 PM |
| 6 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleAgain it's not settling if you are about that person. Isn't it? How would you as an external observer know that this (hypothetical) man who is a virgin, who has no experience, has had no viable options for partnership, and has openly expressed a desire for that to change, is not "settling" for her because she's the only one who's ever allowed him that chance? One of the points I was making in my reply above is that he may very well believe he's in love with her because he will find reasons to be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 09:26 PM |
| 5 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleOh, I have a fangirl, I'm flattered. But no, I still haven't said what you think I've said and I'm very sure of that. It's telling that you seem to think I did, though, because that says to me that you're seeing something you want to see in order to be able to discredit me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 09:20 PM |
| 2 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleThe fact that you didn't actually address the point indicates to me that you don't want to. You're just picking around the edges. I'm talking about on a cultural level. Extreme (but now mainstream) representations of feminism and feminist views about men being projected upon all of us. Poor (or zero) differentiation between "good" men and "bad" men, just blanket implications/accusations that we all suck some way or another, that we're not needed or wanted, that we're a negative to women. You may… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 09:16 PM |
| 6 | Have you noticed the extreme hostility and intolerance toward men expressing their frustration with how insanely difficult dating has become?Although you're right that (in theory) putting the problem on yourself will make people less defensive, that's not the end of the story in reality. In cases where there are external issues they're ignored. If you say "I'm struggling to find places to meet people", you'll get a hundred replies telling you you're not trying hard enough, you need to "put yourself out there", "touch grass", "you're lazy". Or you'll get "then there's something wrong with you, you must be treating women like shit, no … | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 08:48 PM |
| 9 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleOh hey, it's that thing I still never said. Again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 08:21 PM |
| 5 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being single...and if they say their current needs are companionship and romantic/sexual intimacy? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 08:20 PM |
| 4 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singlelike...I truly don't get your point. That's not your problem. Are you trying to imaginalrily white knight the theoretical women in this nonexistent parallel universe? It's already a real problem. I'm not going to claim that some supermajority of good men are hiding away from women, but with the social attitudes towards men and male sexuality, with such loud pro-feminist messaging, so much talk of men being dangerous misogynistic sexual predators and so on, there are a lot of men who don't want t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 08:14 PM |
| 8 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleBut this attitude basically boils down to "any man who doesn't have abundant options is never allowed to date/have sex/get married/have a family". Because it's easy to call him desperate if he chooses from limited options. If what he'd really find most attractive is a supermodel but you, he, and I know he's not going to get one, anything less could be called "desperation" or "settling". What's often missed, though, is that a lot of men you might call desperate (or insufficiently invested in you … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 08:06 PM |
| 7 | Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being singleI see you're still playing the "interpret everything in the absolute worst possible way" game. "Hey, maybe watch out crossing that busy road, there's lots of fast-moving traffic, it's dangerous." "OMG HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO RUN ME DOWN WITH AN 18 WHEELER TRUCK, DID YOU ALL HEAR HIM?!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 07:55 PM |
| 3 | q4men: would you sign an acknowledgment of paternity for the child of some woman you arent married to?You know, instead of trying to gotcha men in yet another "paternity test" thread, you could just acknowledge that men have a right to be concerned about a legitimate potential risk in a modern society where fidelity and truthfulness are not the requirements they once were. That's really all it takes to stop these never-ending circles of stupid bitchy one-upmanship and escalating hatred. Acknowledge the problem. Yes, some women are unfaithful and will try to pin responsibility on men who don't de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 07:28 PM |
| 2 | If we were able to somehow get all men on board, what are the things, that if we all started doing them, would combat male loneliness?Men supporting men. If we can acknowledge that it’s not gay to hug your best friend or to cry in front of them, maybe we can build the same support systems that women have for eachother. There are several problems with this and I think they all tie back to one important core point: a lot of the issues lonely men have are not issues which can be solved by tea and cake or hugging it out. They're physical, they're monetary, they're societal, they're situational. Often they're very large or they hav… | /r/MensRights | 06/01/24 11:04 PM |
| 8 | If we were able to somehow get all men on board, what are the things, that if we all started doing them, would combat male loneliness?Women's Institute would be an example of a women's space (UK/Commonwealth countries). Men's Sheds would be an example of a men's space (started in Australia). Unfortunately that's the only example of a men's space I can think of and they're not available everywhere. Many other previously men's spaces no longer are (The Scouts, for example). | /r/MensRights | 06/01/24 10:43 PM |
| 10 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themThe term/community was invented by a woman too. Apparently you're allowed to feel upset about a lack of intimacy when you're a woman, but when it's men you're just being a whining violent entitled piece of shit. Who knew? | /r/MensRights | 05/01/24 06:10 PM |
| 18 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themYeah, a lot of good conversations had on Naama Kates' Incel podcast, very frank and open explorations of who incels are, what they want, how they feel, and so on. There's very, very little malice or desire for violence expressed. Just extreme frustration, anxiety, disappointment, depression, and other mental health issues caused by being so disconnected from human intimacy (not just sex). | /r/MensRights | 05/01/24 03:39 PM |
| 11 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themthe only mention I see of incels is the occasional news article. Right, but those news articles are often related to either tragedies or linking inceldom to some kind of suggestion of gender terrorism. They might not come up every day and people might not know exactly what they mean, but it's still fearmongering, it's still destroying sympathy/empathy, and it ties in with the broader sense that men - especially men without partners - are disgusting deviant predators who want to violate and murde… | /r/MensRights | 05/01/24 03:14 PM |
| 32 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themNot only that (I have a lot I could say on this issue, it's one I feel quite strongly about) but it makes absolutely no sense that the solution to an apparent increase in bitter, violent men is to antagonise them to breaking point. It betrays the whole idea that there really is such concern over a destructive existential threat to womanhood, because nobody in their right mind thinks the answer to being confronted with a violent threat is to rile them up, insult them, threaten them, nag them, tau… | /r/MensRights | 05/01/24 01:18 PM |
| 11 | Can men give some concrete examples of being emotionally vulnerable to women, and women reacting negatively?I've never seen a man in my life ever cry about anything less than a full scale emotional H-bomb. In fact I've pretty much never seen a man in my life cry, period. I don't buy this idea that it's because men are just running around blubbing at Bambi or being inappropriately upset at something trivial. I've certainly never seen a man do that in order to gain the upper hand in an argument or manipulate anybody into caring about them. We know, from extensive male experience, that people wouldn't gi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 11:59 AM |
| 19 | Can men give some concrete examples of being emotionally vulnerable to women, and women reacting negatively?Well said. This is something I keep consistently running into around here and I think you expressed it very well right there. Just this constant subtle clicking sound of women "pressing X to doubt", either expressed explicitly or hidden in their tone/choice of words. It's clear, sometimes even from the first sentence (or even word) of a reply, that they have no intention of giving us any benefit of the doubt. The purpose of the discussion, for those women, is not to discuss or understand but to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 11:40 AM |
| 21 | Why are people so reluctant to accept serial monogamy?I don't have a problem with serial monogamy, in fact it's what I would expect to happen one way or another, should I actually find myself able to participate. People don't seem to like phrases like "she's not yours, it's just your turn", but that seems like a perfectly fine, respectable, practical way to see things. I acknowledge that she is an individual and may change over time, just as I might. What I have a problem with is, knowing that ahead of time, pretending that marriage is anything lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 11:20 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Seems to me to be making people more angry at this point. But yeah, we do try, all the time, and we get absolutely flamed for it, damn near every time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 05:57 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?She was talking about how she would feel. Why is that so bad? Because when the men who experience lives which lead to this situation speak out they're routinely ignored, belittled, invalidated, blamed, shamed, and accused. You just feel guilty that women are ACTUALLY being used and manipulated with all this pill bs. No I bloody well don't, I'm seeing an extremely one-sided issue that never gets spoken about in a caring, constructive light and I want to see people actually doing something about t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:41 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I don't know how many times I have to say it, but if it were purely about sex then men would just hire prostitutes. They don't, because that's not emotionally fulfilling and it can even be further damaging to their mental health to have to try and fit a square peg into a round hole that way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:34 AM |
| 0 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Well, I can't pretend they're easy or short-term solutions by any means, I think it's going to take a long, concerted effort on a societal/institutional level to start moving the needle. But we should at least be talking about it and trying to make something happen, so that it eventually does. Being accused of misogyny and hatred every time you try to raise that doesn't inspire confidence though. In some cases, sure, the only solution for one individual might be to just try and get by without, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Thank you. I don't always get it right (well, who does?), but I appreciate being acknowledged as at least trying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:26 AM |
| 5 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Because apparently that's more shocking, concerning, and important in these discussions than the actual pain and literally reduced lifespan of the men who speak about problems which are real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:25 AM |
| 7 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I wish men spent more time talking about their personal experiences and stories about themselves and what they went through compared to how they want to treat women poorly NOW. Because it's not like I ever do that. Not once in the 20,000+ comments I've posted in this sub (Jesus Christ), over multiple years. Oh, but you see, I have, haven't I! Both from my own experience and perspective and relaying other men's, as well as backing up other men who do! That's precisely what I'm doing here, trying … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 01:28 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Yeah, quite right, that's fair enough. I was thinking the more aggressive types when I wrote that (as you guessed), but I can't say you're wrong about the others either. They really don't have any idea and, worse, they don't even try, they just invent all these qualities and traits and stories and people to just stand up like cardboard cutouts, then argue with them rather than listen to actual male human beings. I do think it's entirely possible that some of them don't even do it on purpose, nev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 12:43 AM |
| 6 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I think you need to pay more attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 09:26 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I love that you just told a stranger that you know more about his life and his experiences than he does 😂 He said it, right here: I guess that is why I have a positive experience with women | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 09:25 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I know you're not going to admit what I'm saying is correct, so don't bother asking. I refer you to my previous point, re: shitting in the living room. I hope you brought toilet paper. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:38 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?She can speak any way she likes, but it doesn't mean: a) I have to agree with it, or b) It's a socially responsible thing to do If you shit in the middle of your living room you don't get to complain that the living room now stinks of shit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:36 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Yeah. Didn't think so. Enjoy your evening. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:35 PM |
| 15 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I'm sure they wouldn't if they thought they had any other choice. If all you've ever wanted is a relationship, and through fire and flames you finally get one, it's not like you expect another one to just show up in the mail tomorrow if this one goes down the tubes, is it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:33 PM |
| 7 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Shit or get off the pot. Do you have a rebuttal or not? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:27 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I didn't attack anybody. I presented a potential alternative behaviour which does not involve using antagonistic and dismissive language to generalise behaviour in a sexist and socially destructive fashion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:26 PM |
| – | Women will sabotage you talking to their friends without hesitation, and regardless of what anyone says it is usually against their willNo, I'm not, because what's being claimed is not "fact" or "how women work", it's one potential reality of thousands, which you've adopted as your pet pseudo-fact because it suits your agenda. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:25 PM |
| 7 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?What’s the “right things”? How men get to be like that in the first place. How is she the cause of the bad things men freely say and do? By antagonising them instead of actually listening, giving a shit, and helping them feel like it's not true that women are just heartless banshees hell bent on destroying them if they're anything less than male perfection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:23 PM |
| – | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I wouldn’t have realized how many men are desperate for a crumb of pussy Ah yes, top class empathy there, well done. Really shows how much you've learnt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:20 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Sentence structure pal Not relevant. Please provide examples This sub. elaborate The women within it who frequently humblebrag about their wonderful partners or husbands whilst putting down men for wanting the same kind of experience. Now, were you actually going to get to addressing the counterproductive logic of antagonising the men you claim to be so concerned about being offensive or threatening to women or were you just going to keep nitpicking contextless snippets of my comment? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:13 PM |
| 9 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?It's dismissive and hypocritical. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:10 PM |
| 7 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Oh? Tell me, wise woman, what did she say? If I had read any of this when I was younger Hypothetical. Many men here are. I would have been Hypothetical. Many men here are. terrified of Hypothetical. Many men here are. being used Hypothetical. Many men here are. or secretly hated. Hypothetical. Many men here are and not just "secretly" hated but actively targeted for their development, upbringing, social status, or intrinsic traits. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:08 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Not all women, not all the time, but some 90%+ of my experiences on here fall in line with that, with a rare few exceptions. It's fair to remember where we are, it's going to attract more of that kind of woman than... well, not that kind of woman. So I'd like to just leave a reminder that not every woman is a Reddit-dwelling emotional machine-gunner. That said, my experiences mirror yours. I don't mean to excuse anybody with the previous paragraph, it's still unacceptable, and it doesn't help th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:04 PM |
| 10 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?As opposed to out there and not actually able to talk to women, becoming increasingly frustrated by what they're unable to do, but watching women ridicule and bait them about it, telling them they deserve it, whilst those women are having a grand old time themselves? I sense a minor flaw in your logic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:58 PM |
| 13 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Just covering bases. My premise is sound: I know, from personal experience and accounts of/discussions with other men, where a lot of this comes from. I know they were mistreated. Yet you're here talking about how you feel you would've felt if you thought you might've been mistreated. That's a hypothetical. It's abstract, it's distant, it's completely made up. But their experience is real, they're speaking from it, and you (ie: the women on this sub who fight so hard to shoot down men) refuse to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:52 PM |
| 9 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I am beginning to appreciate in the world of social media why would you leave your bedroom Why would you leave your bedroom when nobody else is either? What girls are you going to meet if they're also holed up in their little rooms with Netflix and Tinder and Deliveroo? My experience of going out (yes, I have tried going out, thank you) is that most people who are out are in pre-existing groups. They know each other, they want to be together, they don't particularly care to invite or include oth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:49 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?This is a mischaracterisation based on shallow, predefined, dismissive, bad faith talking points, aggressive antagonisation, and blatant misreading of what's being said in response. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:45 PM |
| 9 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I no longer believe that men actually love women. Because they're never given the chance to do so. They carry around a basket of love to give, help to offer, passion to express, and they get told to fuck right off chap. Then they're told they deserve it. Then they're told they're misogynistic criminal scum for daring to express the feelings that women keep telling them to fucking express. I no longer hold as much empathy for men or cut them slack. Which you're perpetuating by doing this, justify… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:44 PM |
| – | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I would have been terrified of being used or secretly hated. Many of the men here have been used and OPENLY hated. You're so worried about your hypothetical youth that you won't stop for a second and think about their actual real experiences, the things they go through and have to think about and carry with them every goddamn day of their lives. How come you get to be scared and insecure and they don't? How come you get social currency from even saying you might've been scared or insecure, when … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:37 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter