So, they say we should try therapy when we're struggling.

Well, I haven't tried that yet, but after an unfortunate social rejection this evening ("no solo policy", which is essentially club doorman speak for "fuck off, loser, if you were worth coming in here you'd have a woman with you"*), I got home and tried a mental health support text service.

It was dire.

I appreciate that the operator took the time to chat, but I'll be honest, it was pointless. Had I been less in control of my emotions, who knows what I'd be feeling now. Helpless, probably. I could've got exactly the same level of discussion from a 1980s chatbot, like Dr. Sbaisto.

No insight, no suggestions, no sense of empathy, minimal acknowledgement of any of the things I actually said I was struggling with (autism, depression, low self-esteem, zero social interaction, and tonight's rejection trying to reach out and be social). It was rote, hollow, mechanical responses from top to bottom, "I can see why you would feel that", "I understand that might be difficult", and so on.

All I really got out of it, practically speaking, was a link to some self-esteem self-help resources, containing such insightful nuggets as "try thinking about things differently" and "build a kit bag full of things that make you feel good".

I appreciate that the service I used was not "therapy", it wasn't a qualified therapist, it never claimed to be. But what am I supposed to take from such an emotionless, robotic, impersonal conversation? Because, quite frankly, I left it feeling like it was pointless, that the operator didn't actually care (and, frankly, why would they?), and that I was wasting my time trying to explain the problems I was having. This is a service that's supposed to help people in need of mental health support. People who are vulnerable, who need to be listened to.

Oh, and just for fun, I'll add that pretty much every picture of people on their homepage is of women. Which I think says something about who these services are for.

*Edit to comment on the definition of "no solo policy": they did say it was a safety thing, though they didn't really explain how, best I can gather (though I'm guessing somewhat) it's so that if you get absolutely smashed you have someone to help you get home. But that's no consolation for me, because I didn't even get in. So the practical outcome is essentially "fuck off loner", even if they give a reason for it, because the end result is I get turned away for not having friends/a partner, I am essentially barred from having a good night there because I'm alone.