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View 1 posts and 92 comments by buttercup_010 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
190

SHOWER THOUGHTbuttercup_010/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:45 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

I have been wondering about this, because I think it does attract avoidant partners, and they can be hard to tell at first
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 04:47 AM
12

I’ve started noticing more and more comments here and there on the regular dating subs that is FDS aligned- something is happening here and this sub is making a difference whether they’ll admit it or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 10:56 PM
15

I. Cannot. Wait!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:16 AM
2

Your lucky daughter...this is so beautiful 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:47 PM
25

I usually just say ok, here’s mine (I use a burner number). If he wants to talk to you he can contact you. I don’t think it’s a disqualification necessarily, but I don’t call men so that’s just how it is. You can say whatever you want, really, doesn’t matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:25 PM
36

Thank you for this post, this is such an important concept. I feel this deep down- I actually had an ex tell me I wasn’t cute enough to make such demands when I was asking for basic relationship things. No one’s body should determine whether or not they get respect. If someone treats or gives you any hint of such, cut them off then and there, because fuck that. Your worth as a woman was never determined by what you look like and it’s taken decades of unlearning that and I’m still trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:26 PM
5

Have to stop being impressed with bare minimum. Start treating yourself well and it changes what you will accept
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:28 PM
9

So happy for you, it’s amazing what even just lurking on this community can do for your mindset ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:24 PM
31

You should report him that’s ridiculous for a professor to say something like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:39 PM
26

Your mom is so FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:47 PM
6

It’s true, you don’t know if a man is HVM in the first 6 months, and you can see all the stories here about how so many women have had the script flipped on them. Being a HVM is not a static trait, just as much as a LVM can become a HVM if he consistently changes his behavior and internalizes the change, it can happen the other way around. And then, sometimes it’s just someone showing their true nature when the mask comes off. You will always have to reassess for yourself whether the relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:44 PM
55

*TRY to make me feel... he’d be outta there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:25 AM
3

Great advice. And much respect for what you’ve been able to accomplish despite such incredibly difficult circumstances!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:39 PM
15

And just because someone is okay with losing you doesn’t mean that you’re not enough/not worth it/or whatever lie you’ve been told about who you are and what value you have in this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 05:30 AM
49

This is when you fight for yourself sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:02 PM
9

I started screenshotting red flaggish texts and saved them in an album called 🚩. it helped me to realize I needed to move on if I needed to save more than 1 screenshot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:13 AM
22

I love them together!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:54 AM
30

It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? I can’t get enough of this free feeling 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 10:33 PM
25

Exactly. Know your worth, know what you will accept and leave the rest behind you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:06 PM
32

This. Whenever I see those posts I’m like these guys are either fucking delusional or banking off of this narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:13 PM
5

I’ve seen a vast difference between the men who ask me this question and the ones that don’t. I used to think of it as just a topic of conversation but now I’m convinced it’s a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:09 PM
30

I just heard it today, and I was like, nah, I’ll pass. FDS really does change how you look at all this crap lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:02 PM
6

What are some examples of strategies that you’ve employed at work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:07 PM
78

While I agree with not tolerating shit from anyone, there’s something that rubs me the wrong way about making men the frame of reference for a standard of behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:32 AM
6

This is so key: we date to vet and assess whether someone should be our partner. Thinking about it from this frame has helped me with the mindset shift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:53 AM
5

Happy for you! And this is really great point you bring up, there is no need to sell ourselves short, helps to be aware of those patterns of thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:45 AM
10

Yup, code for: I’m gonna waste your damn time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:21 AM
16

"Going with the flow" "Not trying to force anything"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:24 AM
9

This is a beautiful story! And such a good point- a man who is generous (whether that’s with his love, his spirit or his money) is the only option. A man who cares for you will do what is within his means to add some happiness to your day or make it easier, and he will feel GOOD about it. If this man who has nothing can do this, what are these other stingy mfs excuses??? You don’t need anyone like that holding you back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:54 PM
32

I was pretty self conscious about it at first. Only way through the fear/anxiety is to do it. Most important is to make sure you have a partner that you actually trust and feel comfortable with. Then give it a try. But really, the answer depends on what your specific anxiety is around oral sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:59 PM
5

It helps me just to be aware of the fuckery that goes on- I notice it so much easier now. So I know who to stay away from or watch out for. It’s caused me to distance myself from LVM in my life and I think that helps a lot. I focus more on people with substance and character, and let the rest fall to the wayside, I don’t need to spend my mental energy on them. For me just feeling armed with the knowledge and knowing that I will watch out for myself has helped a lot. Knowing that I can walk away …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:48 PM
8

This was SO good... until he started talking about women with overstimulated kidneys, big waists and big thighs because they masturbate 🙄 just... No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:48 PM
25

Don’t let him pick you up until you’ve been out with him enough to be comfortable with him and know enough about him (like where he works, his friends)- and even then that’s not a guarantee that he’s not crazy. With people from online you really don’t know them, so keep the bar high. Stay safe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:31 PM
2

👑 Love her!!! The Queen energy is strong! This made my day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:18 AM
11

Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:29 AM
7

I know it feels embarrassing, but remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong. The one who acted inappropriately is him and his actions say nothing about you. Give yourself some self compassion and treat yourself nice today!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:36 AM
32

It’s happened to me too. Manipulative, weak people do this. You’re better off without someone like this in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:04 PM
10

It is such a relief to not have to go through that. You just feel clean, no lingering doubts to be had cuz you’ve made your decision- block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:26 PM
11

Go for it! You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone else, if it makes you feel good then do it. If you feel like talking about it can just say you felt like it, and leave it at that. People probably aren’t gonna question you too hard on it. Even if they notice it, it’s probably not something they’ll judge you for. If they do, it isn’t your problem anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:21 PM
4

Him trying to actually get to know you and your interests and your likes/dislikes and trying to please you vs just taking you out and going through the motions, but with little depth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:37 AM
39

That’s all I look for now, anything else gets tossed out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:30 AM
15

This is a good topic to discuss, because I can bet a lot of us who have issues with dating/relationships have one of the insecure attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, etc). It is really helpful to know that you CAN change your attachment style. One thing that helps you move toward secure attachment is dating a secure person, so being able to identify that is key. You can probably make an insecure/insecure relationship work if both parties are willing to do that work, but I’m not interested in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:28 AM
18

You dont have to go if you’re not feeling it. Only you know if this guy is worth giving a chance, but one thing I wish I’d done different when I started online dating is not give too many people chances. Narrow it down, it is okay if that means there are zero potential dates, you’ll be better off mentally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:55 AM
14

You deserve it! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:44 AM
9

It’s not your fault that he acted like that, so be easy on yourself. You’re going to feel uncomfortable and not good about the situation, and that’s okay. The most important thing is that you walked away from a situation that’s not serving you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:02 PM
4

Not if he says that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:34 AM
3

This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned here- just walk away, don’t even spend a second trying to get him to do ANYthing. Get someone who you like AS IS. This is such a great post, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:14 AM
9

Match is horrible, I don’t know how they’re still charging people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:38 PM
24

We already figured them out a long time ago. Even pickmes deep down know whats up, but just ignore their intuition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:26 PM
53

It really is a good indicator. In the past when I felt myself getting anxious about a guy, it was because he wasn’t doing the things that would make me feel comfortable with him (such as being consistent and reliable) and I tried to compensate for it by being “cool”. Kept me in situations that weren’t good for me too long and over-investing emotionally. Before, I used to think that it was just my problem for being too anxious and I needed to change and blah blah... when I could solve the problem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:36 PM
13

There are too many assholes, it’s gonna take a lot of time to sift through. You really don’t know who you’re meeting on there, you come across all kinds of depraved people, that LOOK normal. You’ll meet people who seem like nice and normal guys who are the fuckboys of all fuckboys. I got fooled a couple times before I wised up. You’ve gotta go in VERY skeptical, and do NOT put any faith or trust in them until you see an actual reason to, which for a complete stranger will probably take a while. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:30 PM
7

It ain’t for the faint of heart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:04 PM
16

I see no lies here. Nothing ever ever ever comes from giving them a chance but more draining of your energy... cut em off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:46 PM
16

I do this (inadvertently) too! And they don’t take very well to it. oh well lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:44 PM
5

This is helpful, thanks for sharing! What kinds of openers do you use?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:20 PM
10

It’s really hard for me to imagine a HVM doing this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:27 PM
16

I just want to express one more time how much I love this sub, how proud it makes me feel to be a woman, how much more it has made me appreciate other women, and how inspired I am by how the members of this sub encourage and support one another. Women are the most amazing people on this planet, and I am so glad that we are here looking out for and uplifting each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:16 PM
3

5’10” on a man’s profile is the most common lie, like all men from 5’6” to 5’9” put that they are 5’10”. This has happened to me so many times now that I’m wary if I see 5’10”- probably fake. You’re right, just have to get out at the first sign of it, especially something so blatant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:05 PM
4

Remind yourself over and over that you love yourself and will put yourself first. This man will only be a detriment to you, and clearly you don’t want that for yourself. And definitely block him right now and delete that contact, get someone else to do it if you really can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:56 PM
3

It was getting breadcrumbed by a couple guys that I liked, and months of online dating that felt like a waste. I’d read Why Men Love Bitches many years ago, but somehow forgot everything. This snapped me right back into place, and although I still struggle with some of the residual underlying beliefs that allowed me to let myself be treated like that lingering around, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was. Like this is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt truly comfortable and unbot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:37 PM
2

Tuxedo mask 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:06 PM
4

It’s amazing to have this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:48 PM
3

Whoa. I know this man 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:51 AM
13

Have gotten told to smile a lot in my life by annoying men that I don’t know. Funny thing is, in real life, when interacting with people I actually do smile a lot, but it’s not relevant to me to smile for the sake of random men passing by that I don’t know. Even with that, I internalized a little bit of the value/judgment that we Americans place on that (I have not noticed this smiling thing as much in other cultures). Then, I met a woman who does not smile much at all, and is a nice person- it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:46 AM
52

Thank you. This has been my problem with all of it... a woman is not validated now that she has men’s sexual attention. That isn’t why women should accept their bodies, but the message gets warped that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:30 AM
5

Same here! Happened at the 3 month mark both times and I was devastated, let my guard down and got attached... it’s been a while so I forgot about that. But having FDS I’m way more armed for this round of dating, won’t emotionally invest so much so soon. Now, just need to figure out the right balance that still lends itself to building a relationship...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:26 AM
8

How were you able to create that in your relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:38 AM
7

Had to Google this term. Turns out I’ve inadvertently been gray rocking some toxic people in my life- it’s been SO much easier to do since I started prioritizing and taking care of myself. So much less wasted energy. The benefits just compound
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:23 AM
8

Yesss I have always wanted this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:04 AM
7

I 100% agree with this, and agree, it should go in the handbook. There’s one question that has been floating around in the back of my mind- if you don’t offer, how will you know if he’s the type of man that is generous and would pay no matter what vs the kind that would have taken you up on the offer? I used to offer, but since coming here I’ve stopped. And obviously, any guy who took up the offer wouldn’t get a second date, but that’s one thing I wonder about..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:56 AM
16

This is why you don’t pay for them wasting your damn time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:31 AM
3

Thanks for sharing this, it is really helpful. This is an area that I’m really interested in learning about, but haven’t figured how to break into. I listened to Bogle’s book, but it seemed more theoretical to me so I’m still trying to figure out the steps to take. If you or anyone else have any resources you recommend for a beginner wanting to delve into it and get started I’d love to hear about them! It’s so important for us to be financially independent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:29 AM
10

That’s what it is, it is always the desperate horny types...creepy af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:13 AM
24

I allowed this once, and that was one of the worst decisions I ever made in my life. Felt like shit, and somehow thought the solution was to stick with it. Shit got better for a brief period only to swiftly go downhill again. Lesson learned! Don’t be fooled, it’s an insult, 100% true that it’s a sign of a low effort guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:10 AM
2

I’ve always wanted to take voice lessons- are you doing them online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:13 AM
2

I really like this podcast, good content
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:21 AM
6

This. They can miss me with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:31 PM
1

I listened to 1 episode of her podcast today (love factually) and it was awesome! Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:23 PM
11

Thanks for sharing your story! It’s nice to see what can happen when you love yourself first...Very happy for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:50 AM
10

🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:31 AM
56

I’m so glad that these losers reveal themseves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:32 PM
4

The date was yesterday. I didn’t message him because I figured if he is interested he will probably reach out, but for the last few first dates I’ve been on the dude hasn’t reached out after, so I wondered if maybe I could be doing it a little different
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:04 AM
10

What do you all typically do after a date? Go back about your life and let him contact you first? Is it ever appropriate to reach out afterward?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 11:39 PM
3

The ego boost thing- I’ve just started to realize that some of the time wasters I have talked to in the past were doing that. I can’t imagine talking to someone for just that purpose, and not actually being interested. They really wanna waste their own and other people’s time like that? It’s crazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:33 AM
3

I’ve been finding that lately! Definitely helps weed em out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 04:47 AM
6

This is such a different and helpful way to look at attachment issues. I almost didn’t watch it- I didn’t think it would apply because I haven’t had obvious trauma. Yet, I could relate so much to that feeling of trying to accept everything so a given relationship will work. It’s freeing to remember that you don’t have to “make” things work with people. Frees me up to allow myself to be emotionally available, and connect better with people who are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 04:50 PM
12

Can you elaborate a little on the part about showing him something is not up to standard with your absence? Like if he were to do something you didn’t like, how do you make it known or ensure he knows the issue? This is one concept I haven’t been able to master, just want to get a sense of what it looks like in action.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 11:04 PM
10

It’s so true- I’m in my mid 30s, and thought getting on online dating I’d have a hard time getting matches. Has not been true. For whatever reason I would match mostly with guys 3-5 years younger than me (and that was cuz the lower limit of my settings was 5 years). I’ve had friends swear that it’s harder for women in their 30s, and I’m just like, have you tried it? It feels like there really is no age barrier, even if you’re older than them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:36 PM
15

This. But when it comes to sex they have no problem with going there right away...not falling for that BS anymore. We can take it slow on both fronts- I’m not jumping into a relationship nor am I jumping into bed with anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 07:53 AM
2

I’m curious what was the podcast you were listening to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:21 PM
1

Hi, I’ve been a lurker for a few weeks, but in that short time I’ve learned so much and done a complete 180 in my dating mindset. It’s helped so much to be exposed to more enlightened ways of thinking when it comes to men. Thanks to all the strong women on here showing examples and giving advice to help others, it’s so appreciated! Also, the spotify playlist is AMAZING! So uplifting to listen to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:27 PM
2

You are not alone... glad that you were able to see it for what it is and stopped questioning your own judgment. I had an ex do this and he gaslighted the shit out of me when I brought it up. Made it seem like I was crazy for thinking that anything relating to social media mattered. I also questioned if I was making a big deal out of it, but didn’t trust my instincts that it was a creepy thing and low value indicator. I just thought to myself- what respectable man would do this? I was right all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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