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c_m_33 Archive

View 13 posts and 40 comments by c_m_33 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
74

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 06:06 AM
32

Spousal Support / Alimonyc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:12 PM
30

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:30 PM
23

Getting Startedc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:43 AM
21

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 03:41 PM
20

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:25 AM
18

Dealing with the Ex / STBXc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 12:28 AM
18

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:54 PM
17

Courtc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:40 PM
15

Dealing with the Ex / STBXc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:54 PM
7

Rantc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:14 PM
7

Need Supportc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 05:09 PM
3

Getting Startedc_m_33/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:39 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

I struggle with that from time to time as well. I want her to own what happened. To sit in it. To really come to terms with how much she truly impacted the kids and me. Here’s the deal though. Sometimes people don’t have the capacity to truly own how their decisions have impacted others. Especially something so impactful and hurtful. They can’t bear the shame that comes with that processing. They need to do it so they stabilize and regulate better in the future but some simply cannot do this. Al…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 02:29 PM
6

Holy cow! There should be some contingencies on stuff like this. I mean, shouldn’t she be trying to get on her own two feet?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 07:01 PM
2

Yeah makes sense I suppose. It’s interesting though if they’re the ones that cheat and blow up the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:25 PM
3

My ex got >$150,000 cash between the stock, home equity, and savings and she’ll be getting $600,000 from 401k. ON TOP OF THAT, she’s getting $3000 per month in alimony plus $2000 per month in child support. Yeah…it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 01:58 AM
2

Wow! 20 years?! That’s incredible. My advice is go with a lawyer. A para legal is somebody who helps with lots of technical things like paperwork but you need somebody who actually knows all the ins-and-outs of all the particulars.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 01:53 AM
1

It takes a minute to get used to that. I’ve come to enjoy the quiet. On the flip side, it’s gotten a bit harder now too. Usually, I focus on spending time with the kids, so when I don’t have them, I’m playing catchup: laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. That keeps me busy in the downtime. I’ll go fishing too. Actually thought I would have a lot more time to fish but I have less now. Being a single parent and managing a household is no easy task
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 03:54 PM
3

My kids are young enough that they do not understand. My ex and I were separated in the house for a long while before things hit the fan. Unfortunately, my kids saw that I made a new friend after my ex moved out pretty quickly. That friendship grew into a nice relationship. I could see my kids connecting dots there, but I may just have to clear the air when they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 02:59 PM
6

Man same here. My 6 year old didn’t really have any sort of response. We told my 11 year old first. He cried but think it was because I was crying. Once we finished talking to him, we told the 6 year old and my son helped explain it to her. The kids have adjusted beautifully. I know someday, the detailed questions will come and my ex is terrified of that day because I will not lie to them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 02:24 PM
2

Well, how important is £100,000 to you? Seems significant enough to me to fight over. Did you all sign a prenup? If not, then this falls into marital rights laws. In my home state, that means you split equity. Since you’re in pounds for currency, then you need to research marital property laws in your country.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 08:43 PM
1

Hang in there man. I understand the feelings. You can find ways to stay connected with them even when you don’t have them. Call them every night before bed. Go to their games if they play sports. If they game online, make an account and join them! Cherish your time with them, take the opportunity to maintain connection when you don’t have them, and take the downtime and reconnect with your own hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 08:32 PM
4

There are pros and cons to staying vs going. I suggest making that list out. My ex never showed that type of remorse. Never showed an interest in working on things. There was no inward focus on the family. Just outward to the AP. That made my decision pretty clear-cut. Divorce is hard. Especially with kids. They’re adaptable but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. That being said, they know when mom and dad are not happy. You need to do some inward soul searching and decide if being with this woman will …
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:56 PM
3

Man just keep on cooking. Drop the weight. Find new routines. Be the best dad you can be. Put that all first. In regards to dating right now: Honestly, every situation is completely different. Every one of them. What works for somebody may not work for the next guy. The most dangerous thing about dating right now is rebounding into a terrible situation. It can really mess you up bad. Now, only you can answer the question of whether you are of sound mind to date. In my situation, there was a ton …
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:34 PM
3

What sort of custody agreement do you have?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:21 PM
1

Mediation. Period. You’re going to save 10x’s the cost if you guys can work it out. Research the law. Research what you’re owed as part of the split. And handle it very matter-of-factly
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 11:57 AM
1

It’s been a minute since you wrote this but you were 100% right. Doing much better now as I look to build that coparenting relationship with her and detach from her emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:56 PM
2

The quiet is deafening when you’re by yourself initially. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. You will learn to actually enjoy the quiet. Through the noise of daily life, getting a moment where it’s just me and the quiet of the house is fantastic. I truly believe there is love after divorce as well. Take your time. Only you will know when youre ready. In the meantime, take a moment and find yourself. Turn the tv on and watch your favorite movies or tv shows. Go to bed when you want. Buy whatever …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 09:31 PM
1

We were cordial. Hell, she wanted to do things together with the kids for a long time. She tried to schedule Christmas events for us all to do together. She’s all over the place emotionally. It’s really quite a roller coaster. Hard not to think something hormonal isn’t going on. Her boyfriend lives multiple states away, and she’s all about that life with him when she doesn’t have the kids. When she has the kids, she’s messaging me constantly about her day-to-day, etc. She wants me to be her comf…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 01:37 PM
6

1000%
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:40 PM
2

Gotta let this one roll off and move on. She ruined any interest I had in working with her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:40 PM
4

We’ll see if it happens again. My favorite part is that she still wants to do things as friends with the kids. She just destroyed that idea.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:38 PM
5

I’ll ask her to back off and if she doesn’t, then I’ll do that
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:37 PM
9

Hahaha! Very true! Good luck to that dude. She gave terrible head anyway…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:36 PM
3

I hear you. My therapist told me don’t answer questions that they don’t ask. They’ll ask you if they’re ready for the answer. Keep the answers short and to the point keeping age appropriateness in mind. Don’t over-answer and tell them things that they don’t want, or are not ready, to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 05:00 PM
3

Yeah you 100% cannot place any sort of blame on the other person, despite what happened, when you tell them. You’re going to be co-parenting together, so you’re setting her up to have a really hard time. Also, kids don’t need to know the details. I told my ex that if they asked me what happened when they’re grown, I would be honest with them, but they’re just too little right now. I just told them that their mom and I can’t be the parents we need to be for them while we’re living together. We al…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:51 PM
1

A lot of wisdom here. I really appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 06:06 PM
1

Yeah fair point. Gotta quit worrying about others think at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 06:06 PM
3

Hahaha! So true! Edit: you’re so right though. The movers who moved her stuff were pretty judgy towards me. Just the tone they took with vs her. Was really annoying.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 05:19 PM
2

Great suggestions. Thank you! I actually got a promotion yesterday lol. Not a great day for that though. You’re right. I’ve enjoyed having a friend to talk to though but yeah…need to make sure I work on myself first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:15 AM
2

Thank you for those words. There is a lot of wisdom there. Definitely want to focus on myself and heal from all this. I want to be the best version of myself for the next serious relationship I get into.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:12 AM
1

Thanks. Yeah I’ve seen that too. Seems like a long time but I get it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:06 AM
1

Well…yeah. Problem is I haven’t been with anybody in many months. When did you all start looking to enjoy single life again?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:06 AM
7

That’s exactly what I’m doing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:49 PM
4

2 sick kids and couldn’t find a baby sitter.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:56 PM
4

Yeah I like your take so much better and am handling it much closer to what you suggest. She’s not my mortal enemy. Shes not my wife either and she’s not somebody that cares much for me. However, I find that working with her is helping this more along amicably. This is super important especially considering the kids involved. We’re going to have to work together to coparent.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:51 AM
2

Good advice. However, we stopped have sex prior to the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:06 AM
3

I wish I heard number 4 before I got neck deep into this, but alas, live and learn. Thank you for the thoughts here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 07:35 PM
1

Gotcha. Nah, I wouldn’t want to do that. Plus, between alimony and some child support, my ability to float the house payment is going to make things very tight. lol I just don’t want to have to buy her out immediately if I don’t have to.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:58 AM
5

Also, is there light at the end of the tunnel? I’ve been thinking about what the end looks like if it goes down this way. Dumping the house. Moving into a simpler lifestyle. Focusing solely on me and the kids and not having to constantly tiptoe trying to make sure I don’t slip and make her mad at me again. I dunno…it sounds nice. Lots of pain in between now and that point…again, if it goes that way. I would prefer to work this all out and work through it. I want to be one of the successful 40+ y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 02:09 AM
-1

Thanks man. I know you’re trying to be helpful but what in there makes you think so adamantly she cheated? We discussed this in our talk and she was bawling and swearing on her life that she didn’t. I think I believe her which makes me feel awful for projecting those thoughts. However, I could be wrong. At this point, it doesn’t matter much though other than making me want hate her which I don’t want to do.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 01:50 AM
2

Nah. Never even come close to raise a hand ever. Just kinda lashed out verbally because we were lost on a road trip and in some back woods place. Hungry. Kids upset. That’s was it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 01:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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