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canadiangirl1564 Archive

View 10 posts and 75 comments by canadiangirl1564 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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50

I was actually reading FDS and glanced over at him playing video games. I had cleaned his desk for him that day and he had chuckled and said a clean desk makes 0 difference to him & that I didn't have to do that for him. What kind of person doesn't prefer a clean space over a messy one? Also, how is he not tired of playing the same video game for so many hours multiple times a week? It finally clicked that he was an alcoholic. I had done so many different things at my desk over the last few mont…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:00 AM
20

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 05:23 AM
58

Girl, the only men that are going to care if your breasts are slightly saggy or small are the ones that are porn sick. Or just straight up assholes that do not understand the female body. Either way, LVM. I'm sorry that your previous partner(s) have caused you to feel this way. I would defs recommend talking to a therapist about it and/or seeing real women's bodies like another commenter suggested. Sending you good vibes 💖
/r/askFDS30/06/21 06:21 AM
41

I love your energy 😍 I want to keep rereading this post because it's so great. I felt this change in inner peace when I first got into FDS and realized what a shitty relationship I was in. I'm so happy for you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:53 PM
20

Me too! I would love any FDS advice for WLW!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:51 AM
21

Hi! I came out as bi after many years of being bicurious, similar to you. Nobody can decide your label but you. However i will say - if you are attracted to more than one gender in any particular way (maybe you only like to kiss one gender and you prefer to date the other) - that is completely valid as bisexual. I think you're probably having issues with imagining yourself going out, meeting a woman, and having sex with her because of comp het. If you've only been with men, mostly seen hetero re…
/r/askFDS28/05/21 06:46 PM
14

i agree with everything the other commenters have said. Just wanted to add: A rose on Hinge doesn't mean anything when he could be buying 100s of them a day.
/r/askFDS26/05/21 02:08 AM
9

Hi girl, I'm going through something similar! I decided not to block him because I want to remain on friendly terms since I'll be running into him a lot soon, so I muted him and removed him from close friends list on IG. I felt a lot better after that! I also am thinking about deleting all the songs that he sent me, any photos of him, etc. I suggest you do something similar if you haven't already! Another idea could be to analyze why you are still thinking about this guy. For example, could it b…
/r/askFDS22/05/21 06:03 AM
11

Hi!! Congratulations!!! I am turning 24 soon and hope to have your healthy habits in the next few years 😍 Considering that you have everything else in your life down 100%, I think that your issue could be deeper (or different) than just being a pick-me. Have you noticed if you tend towards a certain kind of person or treatment, whether it's in romantic or friendly relationships? It might be worth considering going back to therapy to explore your childhood/upbringing, since that sets the basis fo…
/r/askFDS18/05/21 11:56 PM
53

It sounds like love bombing, why is this guy changing his life so much for you? Did you literally just meet him or did you know each other previously? I would continue seeing him but with caution. If you feel uncomfortable with his level of affection, I think that's a red flag.
/r/askFDS06/03/21 08:11 PM
8

My ex told me something similar "If you just told me that my drinking and video games were deal breakers for you, I would've quit both immediately" Clearly not lol I challenged him to go 4 weeks sober a couple months before and he was unable to do it. I didn't even want to think about asking him to quit video games lmao.
/r/askFDS06/03/21 07:36 AM
10

The best advice I've seen on here is to get him something that is meaningful while you are together, but will not be useful/meaningful if you were to break up. This can mean meaningful objects or experiences for the two of you. Examples of objects include a couples portrait (this can be as cheap or expensive as you make it) or any personalized gift (eg. has your anniversary date on it). Experiences can include couples massages or tickets to an event.
/r/askFDS02/03/21 07:07 AM
26

I'd love to hear more about your experience!! I am bi and I want to explore that part of myself too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 10:30 PM
32

I think this is a moment where it's easy to label it as overreacting, but I wanted to say that I am glad you recognized this as a sign of disrespect, or at best ignorance, and decided that you deserve better. I completely agree with your decision to drop him!
/r/askFDS24/02/21 12:55 AM
9

Can she get a job working from home? She could look for a permanent position or through a temp agency.
/r/askFDS04/02/21 09:20 PM
16

Omg so true. I validate your joke it was hilarious!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 07:53 AM
12

I needed to hear this thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:36 AM
9

FDS encourages a video call before the first date as a way to vet them. You can see how they look currently, get a better idea of their personality, and even catch a glimpse of their living space (ie is it tidy? Furnished?). If they turn the conversation sexual then it's a huge red flag and you weed them out faster.
/r/askFDS17/01/21 08:47 AM
1

I'm so excited for you!!! And so proud for you choosing to do this FOR YOU 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:37 AM
11

Girl, this guy is stressing you out and making you confused. We don't like guys that stress us out. I promise you, men are always on their best behaviour at the beginning of the relationship. Then they chill out once they think you're attached and won't leave him. That's why he was willing to talk to you so often at the beginning. Now (only a month and a bit in) he feels comfortable enough to avoid video calling you? That's a huge drop in effort on his part. It's only downhill from here. Relatio…
/r/askFDS10/01/21 07:31 AM
42

He is absolutely a NVM. Any half-decent man would have greeted you with a "happy birthday babe!!" and a hug. Instead, your man verbally abused you after having a terrible sleep. It's not even worth it to recover this relationship when there are SO many people that will treat you SO much better by default!! Dump this loser!!!
/r/askFDS10/01/21 04:57 AM
43

It just means maintaining your standards and making sure he knows when he does or suggests something that is not ok. For example, he should continue to plan dates for you two and take you out instead of just playing video games while you sit there at his house.
/r/askFDS06/01/21 11:17 PM
10

You know what, you are totally right. And thank you for the tough love. I did get too excited about this guy. I blocked him and I feel so much better now!!
/r/askFDS06/01/21 12:03 AM
32

I agree I was turned off by him suggesting that I should go to him, and even more turned off by the fact that he suggested ice cream. Thank you for your kind words 💖 I am a great freaking girlfriend & I put a lot of thought and effort into my relationships. This guy doesn't even realize what he lost!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:50 AM
84

Omg I needed to see this THANK YOU 🙏 I was stressing over a guy who wanted me to drive 3 hrs to his city to go for ICE CREAM 🙄 (it's my most recent post if you want more details)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:26 AM
18

I needed to see this thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:41 AM
15

My casual friends always complimented us for being the most serious couple in our group of friends and that they could see us getting married. My best friends knew more about my concerns about him but not very much. My ex had asked me not to discuss his finances with my friends so I didn't, and therefore my best friends didn't know a lot about what a terrible financial place he was in. The biggest thing is they knew I wish he had more ambition and drive. I think the part I was most scared and em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:13 AM
8

In my opinion: It's fine if you date a little bit because it will help you practice skills that might help you later in life. Such as going on dates, communicating w your partner, meeting the parents. You can also get to know how people very different than you live their lives, which can help you form an opinion about what kind of man you want layer on. You can commit yourself to exclusivity (ie boyfriend and girlfriend) but make sure you don't commit anymore than that. You don't need to "go ste…
/r/askFDS26/12/20 07:49 PM
69

You can pick and choose which of the FDS guidelines you follow. If getting engaged in a year does not work with your current situation, you don't have to do it. I think this is a rule of thumb that's more useful for people who are already settled down into their careers and are looking for that next step in their lives. By the way, 20 and 24 is a big age gap for your age, so be careful about that.
/r/askFDS26/12/20 07:18 PM
7

My first thought is what does he do for work? Could his work be a reason that he can't text, i.e. is it a labour job where he can't take his phone out? In addition to this, does he take 5 hrs to reply even when he is off work? This seems like a bad habit of him to have and you're right, it's inconsiderate of your anxiety. My last ex (even tho he was LVM) was a great texter and never made me wait on a response. He'd also always call me back if he missed my call. Wanting someone to respond to you …
/r/askFDS19/12/20 02:31 PM
9

I think he's wearing a McDonald's employee t-shirt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 08:59 AM
10

I think this is an interesting situation because I've seen it happen to a few different women during their studies for a prestigious career. An older (but not more successful) man will make a young university student feel special, get you to date them, etc. because they know your potential. I think while we're still in university, we haven't fully realized what our careers actually unlock for us. As in, we haven't yet realized the difference that starting at $60k a year makes to our lives vs our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:35 AM
17

I loved reading the "If he wanted to, he would... because if he wanted to, he would..." etc. I felt like it really hit me after that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 08:10 PM
33

Let me clarify - this was a LVM ex and I've been living my best life ever since we broke up 1 month ago! He is trying to stay friends with me but I'm trying to avoid that. Before we became official, he went to the MOVIES with an ex as friends wtf? So because of this, I know that if I don't cut it off now he will try to have a similar friendship with me and that's something I am not interested in. So I'm definitely feeling strong and I feel more bored/irritated by him rather than emotional. I lik…
/r/askFDS07/12/20 10:28 PM
84

Can someone pls analyze this???? - He doesn't even let her finish her sentences before making his own conclusions. - He qualifies men's value only on their oncome and women's value only on their looks. - He calls her average even after she has started her own business as a single mother and makes $100k - He says that she needs therapy so that she can lower her standards. - Meanwhile her standards are that she wants a man that makes as much money as she does!!!!!! And that's too much????? Ridicul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 10:07 PM
6

Sometimes we outgrow people. This is ok and it doesn't mean that you have to fight or lose contact. It just means it's time for you to focus on relationships that also help you flourish. I heard a Youtuber say the other day: "Growth comes from taking risks. And how can you take risks when you have someone low-value that is holding you back and making you question your every move?" She was talking about boyfriends but I think the same could be applied to a best friend. It's very tiring to care fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:51 PM
3

That's so interesting. This reminded me of something I'm going through at the moment - I made a new friend recently that has his shit together, does all the things my ex didn't do, etc. He also has a girlfriend. I'm trying to get him out of my head but it's hard to do that sometimes! I started thinking of REAL flaws that I could see that would make him not a HVM. Like the fact that he flirts with me and every other girl - it's fun when it's me but I know I would feel insecure if my bf was flirti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:38 PM
7

So glad you got rid of him! My ex was similar where he would give these random excuses for things. It got so tiring. I also noticed that I was always the one coming up with the ideas. Me: "You should focus on paying your car off since you got a ridiculous interest rate!" Him: "OK!" Me: "It's been MONTHS please figure out how you can pay off your car so you don't get completely f*cked by the interest rate" (obvs had this conversation 999 times) Me: *makes a spreadsheet showing that he would be pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:37 AM
37

I really feel for the younger ones (25ish and younger) on this because I think there are obvious stages where priorities change - going to/from university, that first job, living on your own for the first time... It can be hard to tell if the "want" will become reality because there just hasn't been much time/resources to achieve it yet. (Not gonna lie - I see far more women achieve their potential as time goes by.) I totally feel this. I am 23 and I recently decided what my non-negotiable stand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:31 AM
196

My LVM ex used to talk on discord with his buddies while gaming and I heard his friends telling their WIVES AND CHILDREN that they are busy. Literally the wife one time said "please babe let me give you a blowjob" and he said "no later". Another time I literally heard him telling his son with AUTISM to be quiet and go away. 🙄🙄🙄 Never date a gamer. Nope. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:03 AM
18

He said himself that he needs time before he gets into a new relationship. And yet he is out here spending time with you in a way that will make you catch feelings. Two issues that i see right away: 1) he is not taking time to himself to work on these issues on his own. Meanwhile he's spending time with you, so when will he fix them? 2) he is not giving you stability and that's clearly causing you to overthink things and stress out. Take a step back and evaluate if this seems like a good start t…
/r/askFDS02/12/20 12:01 AM
187

My ex always had great plans for the future & positive things to say. But did he ever really do anything after work besides play video games? No. He was too comfortable being a loser working a labour job and letting his credit score keep plummetting instead of actually being proactive by looking for jobs in his field or idk ....... maybe PAYING HIS STUDENT LOANS??? I swear every time I visit this sub I find a NEW reason to call him stupid. Thank you FDS 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:07 AM
91

Honestly it's SUPER useful when people give these TMI stories, whether good or bad, because it helps us to realize what is actually out there! Love that you are having a great time with this man, congratulations!! 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:55 PM
7

WELCOME QUEEN ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:05 AM
88

Overall: we started as FWB, he gave me my first orgasm, and I was smitten that an older guy was interested in me (🤮). He was cute, I thought his style was nice, and he was studying an engineering technology diploma. I 100% ignored all red flags such as his lack of cleaning skills & financial stability, his addiction to video games & beer, and more. This guy came from a REALLY shitty upbringing so I kept thinking that he did so good for himself considering these things. In the end, I basically go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 07:19 PM
188

Omg I just had flashbacks to my ex. He wasn't rude like this girl's husband but man he was addicted to video games and it was tiring to get him off the computer. The night before my big final exam he stayed up until 4 AM playing video games. And his desk is beside the bed. Ridiculous. It was hard to get him to come out to do stuff with me like just PLEASE come to Costco with me real quick or something. We lived in the basement suite of my mom's house and she told me she could feel the vibrations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:23 PM
23

I think this has to do with being independent + practicing self care and discipline. For example, don't devote your life to the man you love. You should continue practicing your hobbies, becoming a better person, having your own friend group, and always being (financially, and in other ways) independent. This way, if it becomes reality that you need to leave for some reason, you are able to do it quickly and safely. I had a friend go through this recently. After being together for 3+ years with …
/r/askFDS27/11/20 04:26 AM
70

You don't deserve to be treated like this at all. You don't need to be with a man who lies to you about what he is doing, avoids you, and won't communicate with you. I would just beat him to it and break up with him first. I know it's hard when you're emotionally involved/you love him/you had plans with him but this is seriously a no-brainer. You're 22, I assume you guys don't have kids, you seem very mature and like you're doing well for yourself. Think about it: WHY should you have to ask him …
/r/askFDS26/11/20 08:03 PM
2

Yes yes do it!! I definitely suggest starting with climbing gyms, then in the future if you want you could branch out into climbing outdoors! The climbing gyms also offer beginner lessons or will at least give you a 5 min safety orientation when you start. I haven't climbed outdoors but I've heard it's completely different and you need a lot more equipment (eg bring your own mats to fall on)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:50 PM
2

Girl just try it! I was scared at first because I am overweight and I had barely any upper body muscle, but I tried the really easy climbs and was able to finish some of them! I have built so much muscle since I started, and it doesn't even feel like that much effort! I suggest you just go for it one day, either by yourself or with a friend. The nice thing about rock climbing is that everyone is super social & will probably make conversation with you. There's also always new people starting so y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:28 PM
25

when I'm out, I can enjoy being out because I no longer feel the need to go home to be with LVM ex (aka sit on my phone while he plays video games) I feel so much more grateful for my friends/family & actively invest time and energy into them now I feel more confident about myself and my decisions. I didn't realize but I was (very low-key/subconsciously) ashamed of who I was dating and it was affecting my self esteem. my sex drive went up so quick as soon as I broke up with him! It calmed down a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:39 AM
19

This is so cute! Also props to you for being so involved in his upbringing. He sounds like a great kid! As for the date, I think he can show his gentleman skills throughout the date whether it's a fancy dinner date or not! I like what the other commenter said about a quick meal + an activity afterwards. Can he take her to a nicer café or bakery? He could dress nice, open the doors for her, pay for a treat & hot chocolate, then they can go for a walk outside/movie/something else? I think this wou…
/r/askFDS17/11/20 10:16 PM
67

Girl I think you have your answer, but this needs to be said: Contrary to what he said, not every guy checks out other women in front of their girlfriend. In fact, finding a guy who does not do this is not even special!!! I repeat: a guy who is respectful to his girlfriend is not special. It's THE BARE MINIMUM. You should not even have to ASK him to stop staring at the girl, let alone have to beg for it. Yes, you are begging him to keep his eyes off other women's bodies. You shouldn't need to be…
/r/askFDS17/11/20 12:26 AM
1

This is such a concise way of putting it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:16 AM
14

Hi girl, so sorry to hear about your breakup. <3 I went through something similar recently, where the relationship wasn't terrible and I didn't have any reason to storm out on him or hate him... But overall I really could not see myself being super happy with him forever. This was due to a few things, including his lack of financial responsibility. FDS taught me that asking for more/choosing NOT to settle is good! We don't have to forever build up our boyfriends into the man we wish they were. (…
/r/askFDS14/11/20 08:58 PM
1

My recent story: I met my friend's new tinder bae recently and he told me how he is so frugal and only shops sales. Later, I find out this guy does not own a cutting knife :) My friend made him dinner at his house and apparently had to use a spoon to cut a tomato. The dude has never cooked in his own kitchen!!! How is that frugal?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:56 AM
24

This honestly reminds me of my ex because he was always so focused on getting things done quickly so he could go back to his video games. He wouldn't want to come out with me for errands/drives/fun things bc he was busy playing video games. And when he would come out with me to do errands (only when I actually needed him to be there), he would want to do it in the fastest way possible instead of just enjoying the drive and the time spent together. Like he would map out the fastest way and would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:14 AM
11

I see what you're saying and I kind of agree. But this sub is about not settling for the guy that "oh he usually doesn't get me the right thing but that's ok I'll just pick out my own gift". When really it's so much BETTER to be with someone who truly gets you and CAN pick out your fav clothes/shoes/whatever. There ARE men out there that are willing to remember your clothing sizes and preferences because they care that much about getting you a good gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:22 PM
2

Wow!! What did you pay?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:51 AM
11

I did this but it happened so slowly that I didn't realize it... Until one day I did. 😔 Part of the reason was that I didn't see his lack of responsibility because he treated me well otherwise (affectionate, caring, made me laugh lots) on a daily basis. But slowly I started to get "the ick" because small stuff like house chores started to pile onto me. Also because whenever I wanted to ask him to do something (even "wanna go run this errand w me real quick?"), I'd have to brace myself because I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:50 AM
1

TELL IT SIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:30 AM
24

Dude I legit got my IUD taken out once because I thought that was the issue. Obvs did not fix anything. It's crazy what men can do to us 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 09:10 AM
9

Wow we really have all been here haven't we. The 2 minutes of shitty sex is so true. 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 09:08 AM
1

We just broke up recently and my friends are treating me as if I'm going to burst into tears at any moment. I keep telling them I'm fine. No I don't feel sad or mad, I am just so done 😂 what a great way to describe it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:16 PM
4

I'm 23, live with my family as I am in my last year of uni, and I still wouldn't date someone living with their parents. I actually just set a goal of living on my own before I start dating again anyways but that's off topic. About you: You say that you generally wouldn't date someone living with their parents. There's no rush to start dating so why start now if you're settling for them before you even met them? If anything you could just tell them (maturely) to hit you up once they're back on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:47 AM
16

#KickHimOut2020: I've been reading this sub for a couple of weeks. Recently I had a sudden realization that my boyfriend didn't have all of the HVM qualities. I thought about this for a couple of days, still unsure, then made a list of "pros" and "cons" of being with him on Thursday morning. It showed me that all of the pros are about him living in the moment, being happy, and being affectionate. All of the cons were about adulting such as finances, cleaning up after oneself, playing too many vi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:24 AM
1

I love this idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:02 AM
3

I love that he said he would be there no matter what!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:01 AM
60

Omg this reminds me, as I broke up with my ex he said "I wish you told me these things were a deal breaker for you. I think it would have been worth it to work through it together" like YA DUH it'd be worth it for HIM because I'd be the one whipping his ass all the time!!! Why is it not enough that I bring it up 1000x in the past year? I have to threaten leaving for him to take action? Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:59 PM
45

64% of the guys you had further conversation with lied about being single?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:30 PM
1

It's important to remember that most men who aren't rich are thrifty unless it's something they really really want like a video game or...a girl lol. omg the part about video games is SOOOO TRUEEEEEE ​ Men are constantly scared of gold diggers and very aware of their position in the financial gender dynamics so if he's decided to spend on you let him. Thank you for this reminder, it helps to remind me that a gift was given intentionally, not by accident. So if I like it I should accept it.
/r/askFDS03/11/20 07:24 AM
2

Hey this is the type of lifestyle I aspire to live! And congratulations for doing it while spending less than 20% of your income. I think for major decisions like this it is BEST to decide what your values are and then make financial decisions based on that so I am glad that is exactly what you are doing. For my question, I think I was more concerned with men spending money on "impressing women" and things of that nature. But from reading these responses I figure that it really depends on what t…
/r/askFDS03/11/20 07:21 AM
2

Thank you!! I mentioned in another post about how I remembered that my boyfriend paid for half of the cost of my IUD when we first started dating (not even a month in). I think this is a gift I TRULY appreciated because it wasn't flashy like jewelry but it really showed his commitment to me. ​ A man doesn’t have to be living in a ramshackle shed with leaks in the roof to pinch pennies and you, as a HVW, should recognize that there is definitely middle ground between living comfortably and having…
/r/askFDS03/11/20 07:15 AM
5

Your comment made me think about what it even means to spend money on someone. If I consider the person to be someone I intend to spend a lot of time with in the future, I would be more willing to spend money on them because I can see it as a worthwhile investment if that makes sense? Somehow I just remembered this but my current boyfriend offered to split the cost for my IUD when we started dating even though we barely knew each other AND we were both students. That's a $200 commitment from eac…
/r/askFDS03/11/20 07:05 AM
2

It's sounds as if you're speaking under the assumption that you will only date a man with a lower income. Why is that? Is that what you're used to? Do you subconsciously feel like you're not worthy if dating a man who is already established? Do you think a rich man is too good for you? This is SO introspective. Thank you. I will think about what my current answers to these are and why. ​ Additionally, if you have specific, practical gifts you'd like (biking gear vs flowers, clothing vs knick kna…
/r/askFDS03/11/20 07:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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