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View 1 post and 82 comments by captainjacksparrow84 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

captainjacksparrow84/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 11:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

If you are really thinking about divorce go to a consult with an attorney in your area. Pay the consult fee whatever it is. Chances are the wife will get primary since the kid is one. Get her w2's 1099s now under the guide of doing the taxes bring your stuff and hers to your attorney and see what you will be on the hook for. My guess is you will get hosed on child support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 12:32 AM
2

She's finding out life isn't as happy on the other side as she thought it was going to be. She always thought she could go back to you and you'd always be there. Kick her to the curb where she belongs and tell her to get bent and agree to the financials, and sign the paperwork. It's funny how this story repeats itself over and over and over again. When another female shows even the faintest interest in a guy bam his ex comes walking back in the door wanting to fix things.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 12:17 AM
1

It is way easier than you are making it out to be, unless you are emotionally caught up and don't want a divorce. I got a dumpster and trashed pretty much everything that was left. The ex had a certain time to remove her stuff by. After that it was abandoned and I trashed it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 10:14 PM
1

You are getting hosed. Take them to your house. You will save at least 50% 1700 a month doing that drive.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 02:05 AM
1

Why can't your 14 and 11 year old stay with you? This whole agreement sounds like a receipe for diaster. As soon as she finds a dude, she will move him in, and you will be staying in the spare bedroom? Kid's need to be at your place 50% of the time. That will change your CS calculation by alot, you pick the kids up afterschool and take them to and from. Or move closer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 02:02 AM
7

Make sure you get the proof that she was sleeping with the other dude as a defense against alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 03:05 PM
1

It doesn't. You are going to have to prove a danger to the kids. A marijuana plant most judges aren't going to consider a danger. Also all she has to do is say they aren't hers, they were another plant etc. If you put up a big stink and try to take her to court she could get married on the court house steps the day before trial and the judge will say. They are married now, no contempt. Your fighting a battle that even if you win, you lose because you will be out the $ for a lawyer, and the judge…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:48 PM
2

The poor kid. Why can't the kid do week on week off? Split the holidays? Why does she get 5 more overnights in the summer than you do? I'd counter back week on week off, transitions happen at school. I.e You drop kid off monday at school she picks him up. No back and forth bs. Same thing if the kid is in childcare. No reason to see your ex everyday or every other day. If you do that yo might as well stay married. Also, my kid was fine with week on week off and we were seperated when he was 4.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 03:45 PM
2

Teachers will typically decline to provide statements or testify per school district policies. Might be different where you are, but if teachers testified for custody cases they'd be out a lot of time around me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 05:57 PM
2

If you didn't want another guy in the picture then you shouldn't have gotten divorced. The reality is at some point you will likely live with another woman. I can tell you the Courts generally don't give a crap about this unless you can prove there is a danger to the child. I.e. Physical Abuse. You don't get to meet the guy if your ex doesn't want to. You don't get to do any vetting. It's her life. No different than if you had a new girl in the home, she doesn't get to vet your girlfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 12:20 AM
2

Alot of places have mandatory mediation before you get to go to court. If you go in and say I want 50/50 week on week off and kid stays here. She says no. Then you say this is where I'm at, I'm not moving. They declare an impasse and you are closer to getting in front of a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:58 PM
3

It just takes time. Took my kid about a year. He still tries every now and again to push boundaries or buttons,. it doesn't work at my house. Boundary enforced and he is back to normal in a few.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:51 PM
8

Kids when they transition from one house to another sometimes act out. Sometimes they act out before the transition, sometimes during or after. Happens on both sides. Not your fault or your ex's. Just a kid being a kid with divorced parents.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 05:12 PM
1

get a lawyer and file asap
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 12:40 PM
3

Most of it should be split 50/50 Assets and Liabilities. Where it gets tricky is if you have kids and you both have different views on schedule and split.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 04:44 PM
7

Attorney get your options first. Sounds par for the course she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar but doesn't want to face consequence.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 03:10 PM
2

Correct. The parents did not agree at all.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 01:57 AM
3

She is a mess. Stop being nice and giving her time. She will likely just throw that back against you in court. See Funblock just willingly gives up custody time. If you are giving her something, you should be getting something in return this is a business transaction now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:17 PM
3

I know people who have gotten 50/50 from a judge in texas. It is very judge dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:13 PM
2

In the words of the old mortal combat game. Finish her!
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:36 PM
1

Adulterers who break up a family should feel consequences in custody. If she lies, and cheats and commits a crime (Yes adultery is a crime in many states.) Flordia, Georgia, North Carolina, Arizona, Illinois etc. It should default to 50/50 and the adulterer should lose any child support as a starter. (Many states don't want 50/50 as default because the lawyers would lose a ton of money as would the courts) Convince me why having a parent who breaks the law is a good role model for the child? Som…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:30 AM
1

Your experience doesn't necessarily translate to the rest of the country. Paper doesn't translate to years of bias from the bench, that hasn't been removed. Your arguement is literally a red herring. Everyone knows that the laws say "best interests of the child" great they are gender neutral, but how are they applied. Not sure where you are located, but if you are outside a big city., then generally It is very pro-mom. For example Flordia is mostly a 50-50 state for custody in many of the major …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:21 AM
5

There is no innocence in family court. It's a bunch of mudslinging. I fought for 50/50 and got it. I probably should have been awarded primary, but I did get 50/50 in a place where less than 7% of cases get 50/50 handed down from the judge. Was it a victory? Not really, she cheated and got half the equity in the house, of which she didn't put a dime into. I guess I should be thankful for 50/50 with my son, bur I wouldn't call it a win.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:39 PM
2

I think you should take your son to the US without her, claim DV against her file a police report when you get to the states and make her fight it from Russia.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:33 PM
7

Tell your daughter that you won't be disrespected. Tell your grandson unfortunately me and your mom have differences of opinion, if you want to hang out/call/text I'm always available no matter what your mom says.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:19 PM
3

This book changed my perspective on this exact situation. Can't recommend this book or Gatekeeper by the same author enough.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:17 PM
4

Sure give them space, and do the same as them, screw everything you can find.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 02:16 PM
0

Why would you ever trust the legal system to be fair? The problem is, woman tend to be more unfair than the legal system in their demands. It's not that you trust either, its you take your best show with the place that is the lesser of two evils.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 02:14 PM
2

I'd go and empty any joint savings accounts, withdraw any joint assets and put them in a new account for you. Before you file they can't bitch and moan but legally you are still married and there is nothing she can do. I'd take out a heloc on the house to pay for my attorney, it's joint debt so you will be responsible for only 50% of it max.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 07:47 PM
1

I'd get a counselor to help you process. 2. I'd find a lawyer to discuss your options. 3. Figure out if you want to save this and stay with a girl who has screwed however many guys. 4. Figure out if you want to set an example for your son that he stays with a girl who cheats on him. 5. Go to the gym, get active. 6. Work on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:34 PM
9

Get a lawyer, if you fear for your safety and your kids safety. Leave the home temporarily. File TRO's against the step dad and the mom.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:32 PM
2

My dude. Much love and compassion to you. We all hit a breaking point and anger is not a bad emotion, it pushes us to do things, to take action. I never once raised my voice to my ex until the day I gave her the ring back and told her I'm done. If she has you going against who you are at your core, its time to leave my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:11 PM
2

Let me get this straight, you were at the police station for handoff, and when she didn't show you didn't even file a police report stating she didn't show? You collect enough of these and then you file for contempt and make her pay you for attorneys fees and try to get primary of your kid. At least that's what I would do. You don't let someone who goes through boundaries and court orders get a free pass. You have to defend boundaries and borders or whats the point of having them. If you don't d…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:00 PM
1

Run don't walk to your attorneys office, any attorneys office and file papers and have her served! This will not end well for you. The sooner the better. If she comes back after you've knocked senses into her, evaluate it then. File now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 01:57 PM
1

Mediators are there to get a deal, not to make it fair. My mediator tried telling me I was being unreasonable and all this stuff, I said cool tell my ex I'll see her in court, and I got a much better deal in court then I ever would have in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 01:50 PM
0

I mean then you gotta make that call man. Do you take some of the money to do IVF with the new gf? I don't envy your decision man. I hope you can meditate, think about it, pray whatever you gotta do. I hope you come to the best solution for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 03:51 AM
1

So basically she is buying primary custody of your kid for $2m and you not paying Ailomony, which I guess would be substantial? No one can tell you the right answer here my dude, but basically you have to decide how much 50/50 visitation is worth to you. What state are you in? What does your lawyer say about this? One thing I will say is, your marriage was done when you cheated, even though you said you wanted a divorce, all she needed to do was to consult an attorney, and the attorney told her,…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 03:36 AM
1

Looking critically at yourself, have you let yourself go at all physically? If you have start going to the gym and working on that. Either way if you start looking good it might snap your wife back, or if it doesn't you will be ahead of the game for the next girl. Begging isn't going to get you anywhere, it is really unattractive.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 05:44 PM
2

I feel for you dude. Your best and literally only chance is to go no contact, work on yourself and level up. Right now what you are doing is akin to begging. Begging is not attractive. She made up her mind, you gotta focus on you my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:53 PM
2

In my state you need to show a need and ability to pay, and a pretty big discrepancy in terms of income. In my state 15k is nothing and they would not award alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:50 PM
5

Made it to the otherside. It's hard best thing I can tell you is to get a counselor to help you process through all of it. Go to the gym, focus on yourself. If you are bored instead of sitting at home go volunteer, go meet people (not at bars) be a nice person say hi to strangers you never know where life will lead you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:11 PM
3

I mean I think the time for divorce is now, she racked up 30k in credit card debt, is stealing from your family and committing crimes, and lying to you. It won't get any better, liars are habitual liars, and stealing from fam is a line no one should cross.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:09 PM
6

If AP is still in contact with her, then the affair isn't over. It's time to divorce and start over or you can just live with the fact that your wife will be with other dudes for the rest of your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:07 PM
5

When divorce is imminent? Talk to an Attorney or 3 or 5. Figure out what divorce looks like for you. Then when you know that, then either try to work on the marriage via counseling or file. There's not much left to do at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:06 PM
1

Get them all DNA tested. You could be supporting children that aren't yours, but because you think they look like you, you think they are yours. There are so many stories of guys raising kids that aren't theirs because their exs cheated. Don't you want to know for sure? If you get divorced you'd get them tested anyways or at least I would. I wouldn't want to be child support for a kid that wasn't mine. She is trickle truthing dude there are more that you don't know about I gurantee it. You are l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 05:34 PM
5

The marriage wheel is undeafeated my dude. This has been in the works for a while. So sorry you are going through this. Hit the gym and get a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 05:27 PM
7

Win back your wife? No send her butt to the streets where she belongs.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:44 PM
1

How do you know the kids are yours? Have you DNA tested all of them?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:43 PM
1

You can amend your short form, but get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:42 PM
5

You could always do what a woman would do in this scenario. Change the locks and claim she abandoned the marital property. Document that she left the kids in your care file a TRO against her for harassment and threats against you and the kids when she was drunk.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:36 PM
12

She is trying to either justify ending the marriage, or cheating and making it your fault.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:32 PM
5

The marriage wheel is undefeated
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:32 PM
3

In my state they will argue that since the debt isn't paid off, the asset isn't in the clear and it is marital. Like I said, go talk to an attorney, divorce is very state specific and even court specific within that state. You want to know what you risk losing best person to tell you is a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 01:42 AM
6

And because you haven't paid it off, it will now become a marital asset. Your 65% equity is now down to 50%. Yay marriage!
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 11:50 PM
7

You have read the horror stories and statistics, and yet you still want to get married? Why? Do you knowingly walk on a plane to get someplace with the air carrier advertising an above 50% crash rate? Or that if you get on this plane and somehow survive the emotional hell that's divorce, that when you walk off the plane you have a 10x higher chance of committing suicide because of divorce? Bro, DON'T GET MARRIED. I just spent 75k on Attorneys fees and PI fees, and I still have to give my ex onto…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 11:47 PM
7

My dude, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I just spent 75k to finish my divorce. Took a year to get temporary hearings, then another 4 months to get a final hearing, and she cried uncle right before trial. Cheap and divorce don't go in the same sentence for most of us. If she is willing to give you 50/50 Custody, no child support, no alimony and split everything else down the middle, sign it and save yourself a year+ of stress and suffering. I had to fight for every inch.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:01 AM
–

That's called parental alienation and I would bring it up in mediation as well as telling your EX to sit on it and rotate.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 11:18 PM
3

Show the best interest of the child. Are there any issues with the current schedule? Are your children happy? Are they doing well in school? Courts are very much keep the status quo unless you can show compelling evidence that it doesn't work.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:38 PM
1

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:27 PM
1

She can claim anything she wants, with no repercussions for lying. It all depends on the evidence she has, did she take pictures of you or videos of you passed out drunk while taking care of the kids? Does she have friends that will testify or give affidavits that you drink to much?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:26 PM
1

Told her I wanted a divorce, and then had her served with papers a few weeks later.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 06:27 PM
1

Pay the money and fight it. If you cave, she will just keep coming back for more and more. You give a CM she wants 100km. Stay firm and No, and make her look like an idiot in front of the judge. Unless she has something on you like you are doing drugs or being neglectful the courts aren't likely to change anything.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 06:25 PM
2

Simple, the way it's phrased whether its "Mom" or "Your mom" doesn't bother me. I use them interchangeably. I tend to use "Your Mom" when it is a decision his mother made. I.E. Your mother said you can't see Johnny next Friday, you will have to ask her why she said no. Also, If your ex is anything like me, I would never pick up if you started saying "Your" mom vs mom. I just don't pay attention enough to catch that. I've got a million other things going on than to focus on that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:57 PM
2

I don't see it your way at all.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:15 PM
1

This is the dumbest thing I've read. There is no mediating with someone who has BPD, NPD or a cluster disorder. The only thing they understand is court. You generally won't mediate your way out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 07:01 PM
2

I mean I'd get in front of a judge, and be like your honor, I don't mind taking them the additional 12 hours a week. Give me primary and she can pay me child support. Good luck my dude. I hope you win the war.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 04:44 PM
1

Lol this must be some kind of bad joke. You have the kids every weekend for the rest of the kids lives. She then has the kids for a few hours after school during the week, and this is 50/50? Oh heck no. You should be primary in this my friend. You have the kids assuming you pick them up from childcare on Friday at 4. For 4 hours on Friday, 16 hours on Saturday, 16 hours on Sunday, and 2 hours every Monday (just for ease of doing weekly calculations, I know its every other) So you have 38 hours a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 03:47 PM
1

I'm going through the process now. I dicked around for about 4 months before filing, wish I hadn't, because I'd probably be done by now. If you file you can always pull it later if you change your mind. You are still going to get your refund if you file, but it will be split in half. It just starts the clock ticking. If you want to try to have a good holiday period when you are already done that's your call. I wish I hadn't waited.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 03:26 PM
1

Then file now, so you can be "divorced" by the end of 23
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:50 PM
1

Whether you are "married" or not for IRS purposes is based on your status as of Dec 31 2022. You are probably too late to get divorced this year for tax purposes my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:29 PM
12

I don't think your situation is beyond repair. I think you all still have a chance to right the ship if you both want to. I'd try marriage counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:28 PM
5

All I can say is I'm sorry bro. Now is the time to start protecting yourself. Go see a lawyer. Hit the gym. Read some books. No more Mr. Nice Guy. The Rationale Male. Prepare for war because you are going to be going into one. Sorry this happened to you my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 09:19 PM
1

I mean I agree, but there are better ways to deal with a kids birthday. The agreement they got was bs.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 07:27 PM
1

100% there is no reason for this to be in there. This was a crap decree. It should be either follow regular schedule, or make it a holiday, and say dad gets little johnny in even years, mom gets him in odd years and its from release of school to return of school. Easy peezy. What the heck does be available to the other parent even mean? a phone call? facetime call? You can see johnny play at his soccer game? Like it's so vague I would have no idea how to interpret it. It surely doesn't say paren…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 02:40 PM
3

How is this any different than custodyxchange?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 05:02 PM
1

Anytime you go in for a modification of CS $ in my state, you can defend against it, saying it isn't in the best interests of the child, and then throw all the crap up against how the other parent didn't do xyz in the decree, and the issue winds up going to Mediation, and you have to fill out financial disclosures and provide everything all over again. Sure it, could be as easy as recalculating it, but honestly it's like re-opening your custody case all over again. You can literally spend tens o…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 03:54 PM
9

I'm so sorry bro. I'm going through the same thing. Found out like 6 months ago that she had an affair, and I had to end it. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it does get better. My kid on Fathers day sat next to me after we spent all day at the beach and just randomly said "Dad, I love you very much, and I miss you when you are gone" and it meant the world to me. Those moments become even more meaningful. Start excercising even if it is just walking/running etc. Again, I'm so sorry man, I…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 10:44 PM
3

Bro, that is one huge giant red flag. I know it's cultural, but there is no way on earth I'd be living with my inlaws, unless there was some terminal disease etc.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 10:42 PM
1

Nope not yet.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 10:08 PM
1

So funny story on that. I had one, he found out who my STBXW's attorney is, and said basically her attorney is a witch. Gave me all these discovery questions and said submit them back, so needless to say I'm firing him, if the new attorney I'm speaking to this week seems to be any good. Meanwhile my clock is ticking, on responding to discovery, just trying to use the hive mind. I don't want to lose my kid and be on the standard dad visitation schedule.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 12:33 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/user/Literarylady12/
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 12:11 AM
2

Have you all read her other posts? Girl was addicted to drugs and ordering stuff off the darkweb to feed her addiction, but her husband was the problem? lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 11:27 PM
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