| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 144 | Research overwhelmingly concludes that humor is one of the biggest components of attraction. How do I make myself funnier? | chaosmosis | /r/seduction | 09/04/14 03:24 AM | |
| 18 | How do I stop envying others? | chaosmosis | /r/seduction | 16/03/14 02:48 AM | |
| 11 | How do I lower my barriers? | chaosmosis | /r/seduction | 12/09/14 11:02 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Girl keeps showing interest then flaking, not sure how to respondI don't agree with the people who say that one flake is too many. But three strikes you're out seems like a sensible policy. If you don't set yourself rules in advance, you'll risk making yourself easily manipulable. I think you might do best by blocking her number, if she getting inside your head so easily. Or, you could give her one last chance, with the ultimatum that if she doesn't show up this time, you're not going to give her any more of your romantic time and interest. | /r/seduction | 30/01/16 08:18 PM |
| 8 | "We should kiss" A simple, yet effective line I've used many timesI don't believe you. Pausing like that seems like it'd be incredibly awkward. Not because I lack courage, but because that doesn't fit with my understanding of what girls like at all. Can you give me anything more than just your pseudonymous word to persuade me that this is a good idea? | /r/seduction | 04/11/15 05:21 AM |
| 5 | "What are you doing?" says the girl.She wants to keep you on a string, which is different than rejecting your advances outright. | /r/seduction | 01/11/15 08:12 PM |
| 3 | "What are you doing?" says the girl.It should be very simple. If she's interested, she should reciprocate your signals. If she doesn't do that, she's not really interested in you. If she teases you via inconsistent behaviors, she is a tease. Commitment shouldn't be an unbalanced situation, where one person pledges themselves to the other without getting anything in return. People who behave as though they're pursuing such a commitment are almost always being manipulative jerks. People willing to give such commitments will be label… | /r/seduction | 01/11/15 07:50 PM |
| 8 | "What are you doing?" says the girl.She's a tease, abort. | /r/seduction | 01/11/15 07:35 PM |
| 5 | So a girl complimented me...Scotland. | /r/seduction | 14/10/15 04:12 AM |
| 2 | How to "date" as an introvert/homebody?Online dating site? They're competitive though. | /r/seduction | 17/02/15 03:53 AM |
| 1 | I think I am lacking completely in self awareness, and it's killing me inside. I think that the image that I have of myself is completely different from the image other people have of me.The catch is, you can't fake it. It comes unconsciously. People try, but ultimately you can't believe bullshit delusions about yourself at your core. Your subconscious wont let you. Mostly true, but not entirely. It helps me to distinguish between different levels of belief - if I half-believe my own self-affirmations (via my knowledge that placebo effects exist), and I fully believe that I half-believe them, that allows me to slip these sort of statements past the subconscious guard and into a … | /r/seduction | 30/11/14 01:03 AM |
| 1 | I think I am lacking completely in self awareness, and it's killing me inside. I think that the image that I have of myself is completely different from the image other people have of me.I think you are treating social status as though it provides more information than it actually does. There are many people who are total self-deluded idiots and are unable to calibrate who are high on the social ladder. There are also many people who are very thoughtful, perhaps too thoughtful, who end up very low on the social ladder. The system isn't meaningless, but it's not especially fantastic either. if I have no fucking idea what I look like to women (and people in general) how am I suppo… | /r/seduction | 30/11/14 12:56 AM |
| 2 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.I thought you were OP on the grandparent comment for some reason, please ignore what I said there. He would likely be asking to fix a flaw, because OP said the guy seemed weird to him as well as to the women. Having problems talking with women and having problems talking in general are highly correlated. Even if not, telling someone who lives in a lair that they're doing things wrong seems pretty personal to me. I disagree there's no obligation to help. If you agree to be a wingman, you have acc… | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 07:23 PM |
| 4 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.What do you mean by "gets the benefit of the doubt"? OP didn't do anything to this person to hurt him, and cooperated with him all night. That seems like giving him the benefit of the doubt to me. What you're considering as "give him the benefit of the doubt" seems to me like "wait until he's actually hurt someone before you dare judge him as potentially dangerous". I disagree with that way of thinking. Is that the view you hold, or have I misread you? I think there are a lot of styles of pickup… | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Really not a bar/club person, where are some more relaxed settings to meet women?http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/berg/anthroz/2008/00000021/00000004/art00002 | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Really not a bar/club person, where are some more relaxed settings to meet women?Barnes and Noble has a surprisingly high number of good looking women come in. It's main downside is the societal expectation that men never approach unknown women in public. But that applies to most advice in this thread. When you're not picking up women, you can just read, which means it's a nice way to spend an afternoon and it's not made into a special event where you're super dependent on gaining a woman's approval. And my local Barnes and Noble has a coffee shop inside as well, so just off… | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 06:05 PM |
| 1 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.That's pretty fair. I kind of feel like you implicitly agreed to help him and he to help you when you set up plans, but I also feel like telling him his behavior was fake would have been too personal. I guess the solution to this is to either accept occasional occurrences like this in the future, tell the person what they're doing wrong if it happens again despite not knowing them well, or give up working with people you don't know altogether. I misread the comment, please ignore this. | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 05:53 PM |
| 3 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.I downvoted it, here's why. It says OP made them feel creeped out, but didn't explain why. I didn't find OP's response creepy. (I found the blueberries guy to be distasteful, so I do understand betarex's reaction to that.) The main thing in OP's response that might be creepy is that OP doesn't know whether or not they're giving off good vibes or bad ones. I find it cruel to shame someone for a flaw they're trying to fix. They claim that OP should have thrown the friend under the bus in order to … | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 05:34 PM |
| 8 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.He was not genuine, then? Is that your only complaint? If that's so, I agree with bl1y's advice. You should have told him to be more authentic and that he was coming off as badly fake, both with you and the girls. | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 05:27 PM |
| 2 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.Redacted. this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 05:23 PM |
| -7 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.I think there are reliable ways to tell whether someone is likely dangerous or not just by interacting with them. Do you disagree? I agree we should accept nice people who want to improve themselves, but we shouldn't make genuine creeps more capable. | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 04:38 PM |
| 14 | Went out with a guy from the local "lair" yesterday. It was the most pathetic experience of my life. I don't know if I can do game anymore.Redacted. this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev | /r/seduction | 26/10/14 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Going out with people. It's important to be authentic. It's important to bring positive energy. How can I be both real and positive if I'm extremely depressed?"Positive energy" has a million different forms. "Energy" is kind of a misleading word, it is more like your atmosphere or demeanor. You can be relaxed or even intellectual and still exude positive energy, only emotions to really avoid would be anger or jealousy or embarassment. As long as you are confident and sure to engage her in the interaction (rather than acting independently or robotically as though she's not there or a prop), you are golden. | /r/seduction | 20/09/14 08:50 AM |
| 1 | How do I lower my barriers?Exposure therapy is essentially what he's defending. But I don't have control over my barriers so I can't expose myself to the fears so it won't be helpful. I guess I could mess up conversations on purpose. But I think that would make the fear worse, not better. | /r/seduction | 13/09/14 07:11 PM |
| 2 | How do I lower my barriers?These don't have any advice for dealing with unconscious barriers AFAIK. | /r/seduction | 13/09/14 06:55 PM |
| 1 | How do I lower my barriers?I have a strong poker face, and my default reaction to anything is to stay reserved. I have to actively make myself react to things that are unexpected or emotional. | /r/seduction | 13/09/14 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Best way to get rid of the "I'll take it from here." guyIt might be effective to directly call him out. Maintaining framing will be difficult through this route, because you don't want to look jealous or whiny. But I think that this is the best path to take, overall, if you can avoid those. | /r/seduction | 12/09/14 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Discredited PUA theoriesI agree. I think the underlying reason negging became popular was because it allows for men to challenge women in their interactions. And providing a challenge for a woman is much better than anything else you can do, it prevents boredom, fawning, and shows personality. But there are better ways to provide such challenges because negging is a bit mean, and also negging has become too widely known. I'm almost certain that one of the most attractive things a man can be is very non-tryhard. Simply … | /r/seduction | 13/07/14 04:23 PM |
| 1 | How to use words with different strength?I feel like thinking about this in detail might prevent genuine spontaneity. It might not be worth the tradeoff. | /r/seduction | 29/06/14 03:00 PM |
| 1 | How to deepen my voice?Classic tenor. Ujelly? More seriously, no one ever explains how I can improve my breathing technique. I know I should use my belly, but not anything more. I've talked to various teachers about it, but they've not been helpful. You wanna take a try? I'd be grateful if it worked. | /r/seduction | 24/06/14 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Oneitis to the point where I feel like throwing upYou definitely should. But spend time thinking about exactly how to do it. Your feelings for her should be mentioned, but you should also provide her with other reasons to move to your city. Maybe offer to help her search for a place to live. Be supportive and encouraging. | /r/seduction | 10/06/14 04:14 AM |
| 8 | Oneitis to the point where I feel like throwing upSo move. Or explain to us why you can't. | /r/seduction | 10/06/14 12:43 AM |
| 1 | [M24] in love with best friend [F24]. Onitus. 'Friendzone'. She is a true friend. Wish I didnt have these feels. Help. Which option do I choose?OP deleted his post. Not sure if that's a good sign or a bad one. | /r/seduction | 09/06/14 04:23 AM |
| 1 | [M24] in love with best friend [F24]. Onitus. 'Friendzone'. She is a true friend. Wish I didnt have these feels. Help. Which option do I choose?Your excuse about being "homewreckery" is BS. No guarantee she'll have a guy. Unlikely she'll keep any guy forever. No guarantee she won't like you more than that guy and end things between them so she's available for you. She has the right to choose the relationships she wants, the other person doesn't have "dibs" or whatever the hell you're thinking. Despite what you say, you almost definitely don't really care about ending a relationship between her and someone else. If you care about her as … | /r/seduction | 09/06/14 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Walking the line between too subtle and creepy?The title seems pessimistic. I think it's thicker than a line, at least a rectangle or something. If you're toeing any one person's line you'd probably already be crossing the lines of several others. But I agree this is a challenge to navigate. | /r/seduction | 25/05/14 02:24 AM |
| 3 | Imagine the awkward silence during a conversation. What topics or facts would bring the conversation right back up?I don't know if all silences are the same. Some people here have mentioned comfortable silences, others have mentioned sexually intense silences. Those are examples of good silences, of which there are many. There might be multiple types of bad silences too, and your responses to each sort might need to vary. There are awkward lulls due to saying something weird, there are moments where no one can think of what to say but both want the conversation to continue, there are times when one person is… | /r/seduction | 14/04/14 01:57 AM |
| 1 | Research overwhelmingly concludes that humor is one of the biggest components of attraction. How do I make myself funnier?That's a good point. Never realized that before. Thanks. | /r/seduction | 09/04/14 06:14 PM |
| 13 | Research overwhelmingly concludes that humor is one of the biggest components of attraction. How do I make myself funnier?That research is valid, I agree. But I disagree with the conclusions you draw from it. It's perfectly possible for the connection between humor and attraction to go both ways. Many comedians are unattractive or rude, yet still popular, so your account of humor is insufficient. And while self-reporting has its flaws, I don't think we should disregard the views of the women who report experiencing attraction as a consequence of perceiving humor. There are evolutionary reasons to laugh at the jokes… | /r/seduction | 09/04/14 02:33 PM |
| 0 | Something I just realized. Whenever you do something to lead the interaction, she will look in your eyes to see how she should react. Your eyes dictate the frame, and she follows the frame that you dictated.Seconded. Not sure why OP thinks that eyes alone are so communicative. | /r/seduction | 07/07/13 05:05 PM |
| 4 | Something I just realized. Whenever you do something to lead the interaction, she will look in your eyes to see how she should react. Your eyes dictate the frame, and she follows the frame that you dictated.Redacted. this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev | /r/seduction | 07/07/13 05:04 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else get really depressed by /r/seduction?This is perfect, both your comment and his. It reminds me of this, a bit: http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/12/product_review_panasonic_pt_ax.html | /r/seduction | 17/01/13 05:28 PM |
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