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chughead55 Archive

View 9 posts and 74 comments by chughead55 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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16

It's okay to let a woman into your life without giving her any power over your life. Always check in with yourself to make sure you are pursuing things that benefit YOU. Ironically, this will be attractive to a woman. It shows strength and direction. No more legal contracts or sharing bank accounts or assets. Start stacking your own retirement accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 07:10 PM
1

How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:44 AM
4

Not only do I not buy much, but a good portion of my time is spent getting rid of the things I already have. I've been selling items on ebay and marketplace. The less inventory I have, the less I have to worry about. I went from a huge footprint where I was responsible for maintaining everything to a mindset of living as small as possible. "Things" used to own ME. Now, I stack the cash and will have more options.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:46 AM
12

Married 20 years. We liquidated everything. She got $650K, and I got $475K. But, I never had to pay spousal support. 18 months later, my net worth went from $475K to $630K. A few more years, and I won't even think about the money I lost.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:13 AM
2

You'll need to meet all of their requirements just to have the opportunity to serve them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 11:16 AM
5

Go through the statements. If she was spending marital assets on an affair, she might have to keep that debt herself. A lawyer can force her to produce statements.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 03:33 AM
2

Question is not clear.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 07:35 PM
7

The kids will talk to your wife for confirmation. If she tells the truth and confirms, the kids will call her those names of their own. I guess I got lucky in a way when my teenage daughters found the scandalous emails with the AP themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 07:28 PM
14

If the husband's contribution was financial and the wife's was housework and the wife expects to receive financial benefits after the divorce, then the husband should expect to receive housework after the divorce. But nope. I pay her, and she doesn't do shit for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 03:43 AM
2

I'm telling my daughters to get married lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 07:06 PM
2

I was wrong. I thought the divorce wasn't final and assets already split.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:19 AM
4

You are entitled to half of the $145K and she is entitled to half of the equity in your ABB.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:12 AM
6

$5K for mediator. She got 50% of all assets. Retirement included. No fault state. We have 50/50 custody. She got 18 months of child support of $825 She also got an extra $85,750 lump sum from my half of the assets as alimony for 20 years of marriage. I'm happy to have no monthly payments to her besides child support until next year. I'm rebuilding with 12 years until retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 05:54 PM
3

Your ex-wife needs to help out here. At 14, the decision is not the childs. Everyone needs to do what the courts say they need to do. When it is time for you to have custody, your ex-wife needs to speak up and unite with you on the placement and encourage the child to go where she is supposed to. My situation was the opposite. My kids hated my ex-wife in the beginning. Seven months later, they are starting to normalize their emotions. But my ex-wife always made herself available to the kids, and…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 11:56 PM
32

Yep. You might find my cheating ex-wife there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:51 PM
1

If you voiced your concern to a non-cheating spouse, they should go out of their way to satisfy your concern. They should show you all communication and actually cease contact out of respect for your feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:52 AM
3

Even if she figured out how to take the hot tub and found a new place for it, does she know how to take care of it? My wife never bothered herself with chemicals or maintenance of anything.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 01:07 PM
3

I did an unequal asset distribution too. Women love those because they are free to marry their next victim and do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 08:58 AM
9

I did say "half the equity" will go to her, which sounds like what you said too. What about the difference in income? If you make more than her, she is entitled to keep collecting on that too. You won't have the option to just retire. You are both expected to keep up the lifestyle. If you work and she doesn't, the courts will keep it that way. The longer she keeps you on the hook, the longer your alimony will be. Potentially forever.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:41 AM
10

Separating is just a step before divorcing. Get on with the divorce. You are wasting your life because you don't want to lose your 2.85% mortgage. Half the equity you build while quishing yourself into an apartment is going to go to your wife in the end. It's not worth it. Rip the bandaid off and get on with it. These are valuable years. You're not getting any younger.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:06 AM
1

Whoa, flip it. She owes you. She doesn't have a retirement account. YOU BOTH have that retirement account. You get half of everything. HALF of everything is the starting point and should stick. She makes more. THAT means she owes you alimony and child support. Get an attorney, don't worry about that cost. She will pay half.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 05:41 PM
1

You won't be in worse shape than her. It's 50_50.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 12:04 AM
0

And mediation is way quicker and you retain control instead to listening to absurd arguments back and forth and possibly leaving it to chance with a rouge judge.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 11:34 PM
0

Don't. If they can agree on 50/50 for all assets and liabilities, just get a mediator. Why pay two lawyers to do the same thing?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 10:54 PM
3

This is why MGTOW.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 11:57 PM
1

I don't understand that. Most likely half of your assets and half of your debts are hers. She has the same opportunity for a trial as you do.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 03:56 AM
3

All assets and liabilities should be 50-50. And the only thing left is spousal support. The worst case there should be income equalization for half the length of the marriage. I used that number as a yardstick. We agreed to give her a present value lump sum from the sale of the house. In my case 20 year marriage lump sum was about $86K and we're done. She can invest that money and make it last. My future paychecks are mine minus child support.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 03:41 PM
2

I think you'll have to give her half of everything. Plus maybe alimony for a couple years. Hopefully you won't get stuck with half of her student loans.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 09:16 PM
2

I agree. I think the entire spectrum of outcomes would start at $0 and go up to a maximum of income equalization with the result being somewhere in the middle. Whatever that number is, it needs to have some rationalization behind it for me to feel good. During our 20 year marriage she did stay home for 7 years to raise kids. I could see her argument that alimony should bring her up to where she would be if she didn't take 7 years off. This would be easy to calculate because she is a teacher. It …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 12:35 PM
-1

This is what the mediator suggested to keep the income equal.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 01:29 AM
5

I like this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 12:25 AM
4

We've been married 20 years. I think I will need to pay some spousal support in Wisconsin. But not $2500 to equalize income between $55K and 137K. I think they want to maintain quality of life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 11:53 PM
4

So you did better with a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 11:48 PM
4

I hope that's where I'll be at.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 11:56 PM
1

I guess I'm the type of person who liked to do acts of service for my partner and I picked the girl that needed the most done for her. I thought I was doing all the hard stuff as a service to her. Not because she was a clueless twat. The brightest thought on this is that I will now spend the energy on me. I anticipate big gains in income, health, an organized life, no clutter, etc. Her spending habits were out of control. Cutting all of that out is going to offset anything I lose in the divorce.…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:50 PM
2

We consider ourselves as providers. It's what men do. At least what we used to do. FBGM is the new way of life. We are the last generation of faithful men. Teach your sons well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:15 PM
1

I would jump for joy. I just offered $500 / mo Realistically i would sign $1000 / mo Anything more I would have reviewed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 04:11 PM
1

My wife is also very suspicious of me (views me as the enemy), so her only recourse is to lawyer up and trust the lawyer to dick me over. Only then will she consider everything fair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 04:08 PM
2

I hope my wife's ineptitude in life is what drives her to get married again and ends the alimony .
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 05:16 AM
7

He'll probably leave for the next married women any day now. He's probably commitment-adverse now that she's available.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 12:12 AM
1

Tell her no, but also point out that if rates go lower in the near future, she can refinance then. In otherwords, the current high rate won't last forever. So she'll just have to make do for a while. This isn't a forever rate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 04:26 AM
4

Grandma?
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 07:53 PM
8

Thank you for this....I do have a sense everything is going to be better than it is now. But I'm one of the lucky few that know for sure what a sham she is. I feel bad for our brothers out here that are in the dark, being successfully lied to, gaslighted, and pushed to the edge. All men need to remember..... wives are keeping stories from you. If you are confused... it is by design.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 06:46 PM
7

I hear you. The kids are 18 & 16. And they directly ask questions. They know when they are being given "trickle truth" or "sugar coating". These kids do their own research and spot their own B.S. I don't want to be on the wrong side of that. The only thing I could do different is tell them what their mother is doing is okay and doesn't hurt me or fall on the sword somehow. They would be more damaged seeing that. The lesson here is "hold your head high", in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 03:09 PM
6

Omg, we got married on May 4th 2002. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:44 PM
6

Today's update. She had to go back to her campsite this morning to get her stuff. She's been there for a couple hours so far. I wish I could hear that conversation with her friends about why she had to leave them last night. Outwardly..... they are probably supporting her. Inwardly.... they probably think she is sick. She is going to end up losing her friends too. Cherry on top. Edit.... they are all teachers. That is why they are camping mid-week (summertime).
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:20 PM
8

Lol, trust me, it's true My kids have skills.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:15 PM
6

OMG so true. I didn't think of the impact like that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:13 PM
7

Exactly. Grandma is a flip-flopper and that can't feel good about her position. Just another example of the damage my wife's actions are doing to the people around her (her own mother is compromising herself).
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:02 PM
3

I thought about this. I was generally happy with 50/50. Her AP is a loser that potentially would put custody in jeopardy for her. But, the AP likely wouldn't live with her. So, I don't think the relationship that would be enough for full custody. I have proof of the romantic involvement (I took pictures of the emails), so i think at best that would prevent them from living together. Also my youngest is 20 months away from 18YO. And the fight could take longer than that. I'll probably just take t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:58 PM
13

Absolutely. There is a big difference between my outward demeanor and how I am feeling inside. I came here to post how I am feeling on the inside to vent. This is why the forum is therapeutic. A vent i have nowhere else. Thank you for the reminder, i appreciate your post.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:34 PM
17

I play the role of the mediator between the wife and daughters I tell everyone to calm down, but that is like throwing gas in the fire. Ever tell three women to calm down? Holy shit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:00 PM
26

I left off one detail. After kids got off phone with grandma, she called my wife and told her the kids hacked her email. My wife left the campsite and her friends right away and drove home to stop the bleeding. I think she was a little drunk too. That's when the kids told her to leave the house.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 07:13 AM
1

US / Wisconsin
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/22 12:25 AM
1

I think your comment is right on. I should get advice from my own attorney to prepare me for mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:26 PM
1

I think I need to come prepared with my own proposal as a starting point. My wife won't even do that for herself because she never does anything hard. If the mediators see where I stand and see she has no stance, then it might go better. I need to get the mediators to say "I see your point". Maybe I should get council to help draw up my position? Is that an option?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:24 PM
1

Yeah, I think I will start the mediation process, but also get my own lawyer just to review my side. Then balance the two to decide on whether to sign or not. No need to tell her I have someone reviewing my side. I don't want her doing the same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 01:19 PM
1

Does your wife have a decent job?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 10:44 AM
1

Thanks for your insight. I think we are hiring a mediator. (About$5K). I just don't know if they are trustworthy or if it is worth getting someone to fight. I'm salty about our age difference. I won't have time to recover and she is going to compound her way to freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 06:22 PM
1

I meant spousal support. I make $80k more than her. So it looks like they want to equalize that with over $2.5K to her. Then, CS of about $900.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 06:18 PM
1

Adultering
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 11:48 PM
3

Also, I think my wife might be losing her mind. She literally walks in the woods for two hours a day. For real. She is there walking trying to find peace. Oblivious to the fact the household has the most peace when she is in the woods. She takes the crazy with her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:49 PM
2

Yes, mine too. She can't fathom the concept that she isn't perfect. Never any apology on anything or self reflection. Also would not accept any behavior changes on my behalf because she said I was being fake. Seriously, if someone wants change. They need to be open to accepting it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:47 PM
8

My wife is in the AP fog. If I do nothing, she will file. Worse case would be a joint petition. Either path will have blame layed on her by kids. We are throwing a big graduation party next month for our 18YO graduate. All friends and family are coming. Awkward. Once we get through that. Some kind of petition will be filed. 50/50 on all assets. I think the only items to settle would be: 1) Spousal support. I will diminish that value by making sure she knows it is short term anyway because surely…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 09:40 AM
11

For sure. Wife is definitely contemplating her next speech to win support. I plan on keeping a steady stance of love and dedication to everything family related. My 18 YO has already had some rough relationships with boys and already has an opinion of cheaters.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 03:33 AM
3

My daughter is a bit older, but she says 'no' to every suggestion I make. I don't take it personal. But also, I can't leave her behind at home.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 02:12 AM
2

I would try to make plans a week or two in advance. Let the kids know about those plans. Let them get excited so if the wife interrupts those plans, the kids will understand what is going on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 08:52 PM
11

Just tell her this is hard on you too and you can't help her. She needs to understand this is her new life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 05:46 PM
1

That makes sense. If my wife and I come to an agreement, the mediator will just go through the terms to make sure we agree. No judge would be involved? Does the mediator present to a judge after?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 08:50 PM
1

So, I will need to have good arguments for the mediator to hear while presenting my offer at the meeting. If I can convince her, then that will likely influence my wife to accept the offer. I need to say...I want this..... because..... and this is fair because.....
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 08:32 PM
1

Is there a chance a mediator would fill my wife's brain like that too? "Oh girl, you can do better.", or do they have guidelines on what they can say?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 08:20 PM
3

What was your major disagreement to spend that much on an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 08:11 PM
4

Does the mediator offer their opinion on what is fair? Are we suppose to drive the details? Are they prohibited from injecting opinions?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 07:58 PM
1

Sounds like in that case, she didn't have cash to give the husband right now, so he will collect after she retires.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 03:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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