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ciscokid12345 Archive

View 6 posts and 419 comments by ciscokid12345 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

acceptance of the reality of things is a powerful lesson. the truth is people grow apart. they have different dreams and life is short.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 02:11 PM
5

move to a new town. start over. no kids your lucky. i’ve had to deal with my ex every week for ten years.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 09:08 PM
3

So the trick here is that we do not need any woman’s validation to feel good about ourselves. Until you learn this you will never be happy. Now go study “no more mr nice guy” and “codependent no more”. Then go to an CoDA meeting. You cannot change other people, places, or things. Acceptance is the only way. I used to be sick too… I spent 18 years trying to prove myself to my exwife and she always treated me like shit. She still does seven years later. Only thing is idgaf anymore. I am happy by m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 05:52 AM
1

give them time… teenagers are impossible
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 05:52 PM
14

I’ve been on both sides of this coin. I’ve done the step dad thing to a couple kids and it’s hell. You do all the work and get none of the benefits. It’s all up hill no matter how fun/nice/supportive you are. I’ve also got 50/50 with my kids and heard the kind of shit they talk on the multitude of mom’s boyfriends. I tell them to just try and be polite to him and they might learn something from a new person with different points of view. If anything you should pity the poor bastard. Your kids wi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 10:03 PM
10

yes, do you have good council? i beat my made up protection order and got 50/50 after two years of continuous litigation and $75,000 in attorney fees from the most awful woman i have ever heard of.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 04:00 AM
5

yeah well her pussy smells like a toilet… Sounds like she’s getting smashed by some new guy already. Time to move on quick because she already has.
/r/seduction19/06/26 01:29 PM
3

Well looks like you get to actually grieve your marriage and the hot young affair thing at the same time… Get some guy friends to hang out with. Find your old hobbies and interests. Be present and involved for the kids. Double down on health and fitness. Start crushing it at work.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 12:08 AM
1

this is typically true. We served her with a Gavron warning that says basically you have a reasonable amount of time to become self-sufficient, however, my understanding is that the courts definition of reasonable time is 50% of the duration of the marriage. In my case, it’s about time for something to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 07:44 PM
1

i think i have a good shot at canceling. however, she did just start going to school full-time to be a nurse so I’m expecting her to use that as a I need to pay her for another four years kind of thing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 07:42 PM
23

I have lifetime alimony from my 16 year marriage in CA. She was 40 when we got divorced. We’re on year 8 right now and I have paid $75k in alimony and $150k in child support for 50/50 custody. She’s taking me back to court right now for more child support but she’s also moving in with her boyfriend. they just signed the lease on a 6 br house for their brady bunch so I’m hoping the judge will kill her alimony while also raising my support to make it a wash. The kids are 17 and 15 and I’m so ready…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:30 PM
3

TLDR An active-duty soldier away at barracks discovered his alcoholic wife has snuck her violent ex-affair partner into their home around their young kids (3 and 6), violating a court order and sparking drunken fights. Feeling trapped and like a failure, he is done with the marriage but stuck in the barracks, torn between confronting her or secretly hiring a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 01:03 AM
3

pickup community teaches you how to catch the car; they never tell you how expensive the maintenance is, or what happens when the car crashes. My divorce cost me $75,000 in attorney fees alone, and I had to pay my ex $600,000 at the end of it. We have 50/50 custody, and she doesn't work. It’s been seven years since the divorce, and she is currently dragging me back to court for more support. Why? Because she wants to rent a 6-bedroom house with a pool for her and her new boyfriend. My support is…
/r/seduction15/06/26 09:10 PM
2

at the end of the day chasing women is mostly pointless. if you just want sex go pay for it and save yourself the time. if you do it for the hunt, fine knock yourself out. eventually you will find someone who sticks around. if you pick a good woman, she will eventually hit menopause and lose all attraction to you. if you pick a bad one, she will take off with half of everything you own and you will spend the next 15 years paying her to fuck her boyfriends. I have done both of these and they both…
/r/seduction15/06/26 06:15 PM
9

like a moth to flame i’m drawn to emotionally unstable women…
/r/seduction15/06/26 01:26 AM
1

exactly. then find a new girl that does wtf
/r/seduction13/06/26 05:47 PM
19

so this is actually really easy…. you just say “hey do you want to make out?”. it works 90% of the time. if she says yes, then do it. if she says no, make a joke and say oh i was just messing with you.
/r/seduction13/06/26 05:32 AM
1

i waited until she was gone for the day. grabbed my all my guitars and amps on the way out the door. good thing too. i never stepped foot in that house again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 01:32 AM
2

that would generally be considered kidnapping and Amber alert territory.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 09:48 PM
1

for real… my sister had a bachelors in public health and nursing school almost killer her. there is no way my lazy ex has the discipline or aptitude to complete this. it’s just a stall technique to keep me paying alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:28 PM
6

i had a full sized tool chest full of tools in my garage, air compressor, nailers, impact, tile saw, jacks, lifts, you name it. easy $10k to $15k. My beloved BBQ. All the fucking furniture. I bargained for a year for that shit but she wouldn’t budge. Now it’s 7 years later and I have two full sized tool chests! (i know it’s kind of a problem). She’s moved 4 times and is moving again next month and everything I laugh as I think of her moving all that heavy metal around. She’s obviously never used…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:10 PM
4

we’ve been legally separated for 7 years and divorced for 5. She still hasn’t worked a single day! Now that my oldest is about to turn 17 she’s suddenly in school full time to be a nurse. is a 4 year program conveniently.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:39 AM
22

I lost a similar amount. 6 years later I have more than I did before even while paying her $2500 a month. Turns out these women aren’t “cheaper to keep her”. They spend thousands on bullshit every month. Plus now you have more free time to hustle up cash. Start side businesses, go for work certifications, get promotions, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 07:14 PM
8

my attorney was amazing. she and her firm had a direct daily relationship with the court staff and judges. they knew her as a straight shooter. so when my wife’s attorney showed up with a laundry list of crazy, the judge asked my attorney if any of it was true, she said no and the judge just took her word for it. that was what i was paying for. it wasn’t the filings or the advice. i paid $75,000 to have a direct relationship with the judge while my ex paid $35,000 for just paperwork and advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 01:53 PM
2

same shit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:54 AM
8

take a breath. she’s not going to get to keep the house. relax. do not talk to her or text her. if you do anything even slightly aggressive or inappropriate she will file a restraining order and you will be on the street by tomorrow. court takes years. eventually you will get your half. she will get hers. fighting about it will just make the attorneys rich. she will probably still fight over it. quit drinking/weed. start eating right. get as much sleep as you can. lift weights daily. get new clo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 11:58 PM
4

pay for a chatgpt5.5 account. create a project and tell it everything. have it create an api app for you that turns pdfs into text files, indexes and summarizes them for use later. tell it to create an memory file that has instructions to push back against your ideas and double fact check. then take the stuff it gives you and feed it to claude or gemini to provide analysis. then feed it back to chatgpt to finalize.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 11:46 PM
3

You got this! The kids get older and it gets easier. Just be the consistent parent and the kids will reward you with their appreciation. Hillary Clinton wrote a book called it takes a village… I didn’t read it obviously but it reminds me that women are really good at asking for help. Getting your friends, family, neighbors, your kids friends parents, people at church, at work, etc to help you build a community of support. You don’t have to do this alone and a single mom wouldn’t think twice abou…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 08:42 PM
1

well yeah… that was just my attorney fees. hers were similar. then i had to give her a half million in cash and savings.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:22 PM
1

I cashed out half my 401k. paid the penalties for early withdrawal and spent $75,000 on my divorce. the other half went to her in a qdro a couple years later.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:29 AM
2

Here’s what AI said: Since you’re active duty, you have access to free legal help that many civilians don’t. Specifically, your installation’s Legal Assistance Office (JAG) can provide free consultations on family law matters, including divorce. This is genuinely free, available to you as a service member, and these attorneys deal with military divorce regularly. If you haven’t explored this avenue yet, it should be your first call Monday morning.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:42 PM
3

Have you considered pushing for more time with your kids? If she can work and be the primary caregiver, so can you… plenty of dads do it. Single working dads are more common than people think, and it's worth normalizing. Here's the secret women don’t want us to know: they create a network of support to help them raise the kids! rideshares, after-school programs, family, friends, the kids friends parents. You can build these same support networks. Don't accept a schedule that leaves you feeling l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 02:36 PM
0

Hookers are cheap and widely available. Google “escort alligator” for a companion near you!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:26 AM
2

lol - you got my upvote
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 04:17 PM
2

Yeah it was a shit couple years living in a tiny apartment while she moved her affair boyfriend into my house and threw parties that all my old “friends” went to. Restraining orders, allegations of abuse against me and my kids, etc. Well seven years later, I own a better house, have a better job, a hippie girlfriend who weighs 98lbs and dotes on me, I play golf twice a week, I quit drinking during the divorce and eat/live a healthy life, and I’m happier. my kids are in high school and know that …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 11:26 PM
1

How much you spend depends entirely on her ability to compromise. I went in to my divorce saying let’s split everything 50/50. My ex wanted it more like 90/10. We spent around $120,000 and two years to finally get the judge to force her to accept 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 08:15 PM
8

no more waitresses, hairdressers, or SAHMs. Only dating professional educated health conscious women with careers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:44 PM
2

16 years. In california anything over ten gets automatic “lifetime”. However, California supreme court precedent states in Gavron vs Gavron that given a warning she should be able to find employment in a reasonable time. i’m going to petition next year when my oldest turns 18 to kick her off the alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:04 PM
2

she’s just a stay at home mom who’s trying to get her nursing certificate. i have her calculations at full time minimum wage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 05:19 PM
2

yeah that’s the fight. i spent two years and $65,000 from my 401k to get 50/50. that reduced my child support to $1300 and “lifetime” alimony at $750. however, I make $200k and she still doesn’t work after 6 years of being divorced, so on the whole she’s getting about 20% of my after tax income
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:10 PM
4

well now she knows how it feels to want… typically they get 50% of the duration of the marriage in alimony unless you’re in california and married over ten years. but if she’s making more money than you, you shouldn’t have to pay her any alimony. the other issue is child support. this of based on how much time you have with the kids. i’m assuming that because you’re paying 50% that you basically abandoned your kid? so if you want to get support down, you need to get more custody. if she can work…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:52 PM
1

I fought the 2-2-5-5 and lost against my ex. However, I ended up making it work. I switched to work from home thursday and Friday so the wednesday to friday 2 ends up being ok. She picks up late on friday so it pretty much killed all my weekend plans for the past 6 years but i’m almost done so whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 06:07 PM
8

I’ve there and it sucks! If you drink or do drugs you need to quit immediately. I was drinking heavily to self medicate for my divorce induced depression and it only makes matters worse. It will take a few months for the chemicals in your brain to correct themselves so don’t quit for a week and think you’re done. You also need more support from a community of men who have been where you have been. I found this at AA. Almost everyone had a similar story and was able to show me the way forward. If…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 10:53 PM
14

in all probability, they have been together for much longer than you realize. It could be their 1 year anniversary, or in my case I think it was 3 years from the time she first met AP.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 03:14 PM
2

Women have this crazy idea that they automatically get full custody of the kids because you are too incompetent to do the job. Then they expect to live off your income tax free child support payments will you live in a box. You are just as capable of raising your kids as she is. You will need help from friends, family, and school programs but it is possible. So don’t just lay down and give her custody out of the gate.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 04:06 PM
2

yup perimenopause kicks in around 40 until 50. It’s nonstop hormone fluctuations. Sex drive colapse. Karen meter to 10. Avoid the 40s if at all possible.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:10 AM
19

I’m seven years out of my 50/50 divorce and my exwife still doesn’t work. She lives entirely off my support payments and food stamps. If she started working it would probably reduce my child support so i’m assuming she’s waiting until the kids turn 18 in a few years. Instead of learning to take care of herself she’s got a new guy she’s trying to wrap up. Only problem is, he’s still married to someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 03:53 PM
4

so did i. she quit working to be a mom, cheated on me three times, fought me for 100% custody for two years before losing in court, and with 50/50 i pay her thousands of dollars a month to still not work. it’s been 6 years and she still doesn’t have a job!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:23 PM
6

Sure but I’m also a grab coffee/tea and walk around or casual lunch first date kind of guy. Being trapped with some stranger at dinner for an hour or two to find out they have the personality of a mannequin is such a bore.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:10 AM
10

Well just don’t date poor women. No waitresses, hairdressers, or retail workers. College degree and career required to get in my pants.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:03 AM
5

Encourage him to fight for 50/50 custody of the kids. Help him with the kids so he can work. He’s lost his best friend, and probably many of his shared married friends too so include him in family get togethers. Quit drinking/smoking, get a lot of exercise, eat healthy vegetable foods, lose weight, get new clothes, go to therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:11 AM
8

I would say 100%… Women are genetically programmed to want children. The trick is getting as much sex from them before they lock you down, have a kid or two and then become uninterested in sex. In most high cost of living cities like SF, San Diego, LA, NY, Boston, most women are putting off children until their mid to late 30s. Then they panic and realize that they only have a few years to meet someone, get married, and have children. Perimenopause kicks in and really spikes their idgaf i’m gett…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:06 AM
4

At the moment her condo is being renovated and she has no where to go. I’m pushing really hard for her to get it finished. Even going down there on the weekends to install the trim, plumbing, appliances, and lights etc. She doesn’t know it yet, but once it’s done. She’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:01 AM
16

Give it time… She’ll hit perimenopause eventually and lose her goddamn mind too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:58 AM
9

I’m with you on this one. I spent 16 years trying so hard to not break up with my exwife. A decade of arguing… My new girlfriend of five years hit perimenopause hard this year and has just turned into the bossiest, nagging bitch. She stopped having a sex drive and spends most of the day complaining about something I did. I’m trying to get her on hormones but I don’t think I have the fight in me. It would be so much easier to send her packing and get a new younger girl who is actually interested …
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 09:59 PM
10

I get that you’re hurt and lonely but filing that hole in your heart with some new chick isn’t going to solve anything and you will just be getting divorced again in 5 years. The trick here is to grow as a whole individual person who doesn’t need a woman to feel comfortable before getting into a relationship. Take your time to grieve. Get some therapy to figure out what made you pick the last girl. Read some books on relationships (no more mr nice guy). Put your energy into your work and your he…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:11 AM
18

In my anecdotal observations, these massive personality changes all seem to happen around perimenopause 40 to 48. They all need to be on HRT.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 08:01 PM
8

I threw up in my mouth reading this. We objectively know that there are millions of beautiful single women who love to get down. The real question to ask is why are you stuck in such a “lack” mentality? I mean it makes sense because you have been kicked in the guts by your former best friend but now it’s time to rebuild. If you aren’t attracting women, you need to look at yourself. Lose that weight, hit the gym, quit drinking/smoking, eat healthy food, get a nice hair cut, and start dressing lik…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 03:28 PM
11

i was sick and tired of feeling horrible so i quit drinking and noticed a few things happen: 1. after 2 months, my blood pressure dropped from 155 to 115 2. after 6, my depression and anxiety completely disappeared. seven sober years later and i’m so grateful for my peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:15 PM
5

ask open ended questions my guy. then engage with her. What are you most looking forward to this winter? Christmas. Oh really? I just love the smell of nutmeg in fresh cookies. What is it about christmas that gets your gears going? I love getting presents. (insert flirty neg here.) yada ad infinitum
/r/seduction23/10/25 05:03 PM
8

Mine did the taking pictures of common schoolyard bruises and blamed me of hitting the children. That took three months and an additional $30,000 before I got to see my children.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:08 AM
2

perimenopause comes for them all...
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:40 AM
10

Give it time. She’s gonna get nuts around 42 just like every other woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 10:30 PM
2

you are most likely going to lose a lot. probably not all but definitely a good chunk. the good news is that you can and will rebuild and be better off than ever. it’s remarkable how’s much we can get done without carrying our wives dead weight. go find a good family law attorney that has an office next to the courthouse so they know all the judges. pay for a couple consultations to see what they have to say. use this as an opportunity to reset your life. throw out the things you don’t want or n…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 12:50 AM
24

Here is what you need to understand… Women base their entire identity around “being mom”. She spent a year making the child and another couple years nursing it. In her mind, she is the only one capable of keeping the child alive. If you are asking for 50/50 custody, you are doing two things. First, you are attacking her entire identity. Who is she if not “mom”? Even if she’s a drunk like my ex who showed up to practices blacked out with kids in the car. In her mind she’s still super mom. Second,…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 12:06 AM
5

5 years done. 4 more years to go.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 08:06 PM
1

Sober 7 years and always did first dates like let’s grab a coffee / tea and walk around the promenade. Lunch dates worked well too. If you’re both being playful and having fun, I will typically say “hey, do you want to make out?” In my experience, being absolutely direct works 90% of the time.
/r/seduction01/10/25 12:05 AM
11

my god this is fucking horrible. i’m so sorry for you and your son. this woman is not to be trusted and does not deserve you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 05:49 AM
2

this is what i was wondering too. i have seen perimenopause completely turn a woman’s personality around and give them baby making hysteria.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 12:25 AM
3

She could be having hormone problems. It’s commonly misdiagnosed as depression when really they are just menopausal. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/hormone-therapy-for-depression-are-the-risks-worth-the-benefits-2018111615378
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 07:30 PM
2

the chocolate covered banana is true. on the worst day of my life. i was living in my motorhome by newport bay after leaving the house with just the clothes on my back after she threatened to make up DV charges on me. my ex had simply replaced me. her affair boyfriend had moved into my house and they were throwing her a birthday party. most of “my friends” and neighbors were there and everyone seemed to be acting as if nothing weird was happening. Like I was erased from the life I spent 15 years…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 06:31 PM
12

The night is long and full of terrors… I started making a gratitude list every night before bed. Ten things. Today I’m grateful for: a roof over my head, the chocolate covered banana i had for dessert, that i have a job, that my friends and family love me, that i have kids to miss, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 11:20 PM
5

exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:14 AM
3

it’s worse than that. mine said that i was emotionally abusive and that i kept her a prisoner in our house for years. therefore i owed her damages! i was like “weird, if that’s the case how did you manage to cheat on me three times?” also i have way more leftover cash now than i did before i got divorced and that’s after i pay her $2200! she was blowing thousands of dollars a month on god knows what as a stay at home mom who didn’t want to work. she still doesn’t work and it’s been seven years!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 07:48 PM
2

yeah that totally happened to me! she convinced me to buy her a new car, then a new living room couch, a new bedroom set, and new fridge. the i found out she had been embezzling thousands of dollars from her older kids. me paying for their college tuition with cash and her being reimbursed when financial aid kicked in. fucking witch.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:28 PM
5

i think a lot of times the signs were always there. my ex and i were always on slightly different trajectories that after 18 years couldn’t be ignored. she had a vision for her life which was incompatible with the life i had created for us and she felt disconnected. she also started perimenopause and that hormone cocktail makes girls go crazy. i don’t think it’s worked out as good as she had planned. living in apartments off my support money and dating guy after guy after guy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 02:34 PM
2

so far i’m lucky… i got a new job that pays 80k more but my ex hasn’t filed for a reassessment in 5 years so my support hasn’t gone up yet.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 01:11 PM
4

is he the affair partner? - then fuck that guy! is he not the affair partner? - then say hello and cordially wish him luck dealing with her “moods”.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 02:17 AM
9

my ex stalled for 2 or 3 years by dragging out the court case. 4 mediations, three meetings with the judge. she was under the impression that i would have to let her live in the house until the kids graduated high school and that i would have to pay for her attorney fees. neither happened to be true. she was eventually forced to sell by the judge and made to pay her own fees because i had been offering a clean 50/50 split since day 1 and she was holding things up. my attorney fees were $70,000. …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 03:12 PM
14

Here’s my experience with the same thing during my divorce in California. Hopefully it doesn’t go the same way for you but I think there are some lessons from it… My ex was a stay at home mom and is an alcoholic. She started going out at night, leaving the kids with me and not coming home until after 2am. The straw that broke me was the first day of soccer practice and I had left work early to make it to practice. She was an hour late and slurring her words when she arrived with the kids with no…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:37 AM
6

Yeah that’s rough. It will take some time to grieve and heal from this. Divorce is one of the most stressful things you will ever experience so treat it with the seriousness it deserves. I recommend quitting drinking/drugs, start working out hard, and eating lots of healthy food. That will make you feel better sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 12:03 AM
8

get as much custody of the kids as possible. 50% minimum. if your job doesn’t allow that, get a new job. find day care. ask your mom to help. whatever it is you need to do to be an equal parent. there is no reason why she is a better or more deserving parent than you. if you get 25% custody the court assumes you are preventing your ex from getting a full time job / career and that you should be paying to make up for this inequity in work / life balance. if you get 50/50 custody and she already w…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 07:40 PM
1

lol oh wow that’s a sticky situation! so my non professional understanding on gavron was that you file it as soon as possible to let her know with the warning that she has a reasonable time to get a job. that might mean four years to go back to college but that eventually she needs to become self supporting. So on the bright side, if there is one… i found that my ex was spending way more than i pay her. that even with my payments to her it’s never been easier to save money. i also met a woman 3 …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 05:32 AM
2

Wow! that’s insane. I’m sure your attorney attempted to do this but we did two things: Filled a “gavron warning” with the court saying she needs to start working and that alimony is temporary. It’s been 6 years so far. I’m planning on going back to court when my 16 year old turns 18 to eliminate the alimony and some of the support. That would be 8 years of a 18 year marriage. Imputed her as if she was making $65,000 because she has a real estate license that she wasn’t using and could work full …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:50 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 10:48 PM
2

Did you try to get 50/50 custody? I have similar stats; california, married 20 years, wife never worked and doesn’t plan to. I make $200,000 and only pay $1500 in child support and $750 in alimony. The only way this gets up to $7000 a month is if you basically never see the kids, you’re stuck paying for private school, or you make a million dollars. The first two you can petition to fix by adjusting the visitation. The third is like, yeah you pay a lot but it’s only a fraction of your monthly in…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:01 PM
6

I got sober when my wife filed for divorce. It was either that or suicide… It took me around 3 months of sobriety to get well from crippling anxiety. My blood pressure dropped from 160 to 115 about this point. At around 6 months of sobriety my depression started to lift. At a year I started feeling like my old self again, hopefully and excited to do new things. At 3 years of sobriety I met a new hippie girl. At 7 years of sobriety, I have a new job making double, a new house, a new motorhome, a …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 06:47 PM
5

You are grieving the loss of your past life and that’s very normal. It’s sad to close one chapter and scary to begin a new one. But you are lacking imagination right now to visualize what your new life journey is going to look like. You get a chance to craft a brand new life that aligns with your true individual identity. How exciting is that?!? Start rock climbing, join a garage band, fill your living room with baseball memorabilia, hike all the tallest mountains in your state, or travel to Ita…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 11:28 PM
1

PS I spend a lot of time out in Joshua Tree / Palm Springs. There’s a ton of the natural food yoga goddess spiritual hippie chicks out there if you’re in to that sort of thing. Feral hippie chicks are like catnip to me. I do a lot of yoga now…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:34 PM
23

Dating in your 40s is a lot like shopping at a thrift store. You’re not going to find anything that hasn’t been worn before so the trick is to find the best item without any visible stains, holes, or off putting smells. The good stuff is already taken. The available stuff always has a reason why it’s on the rack. My advice to you is simple. Don’t worry about women. Craft a life for yourself that is true to who you are as an individual. When you have succeeded in achieving that, a woman will prob…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:03 AM
26

Well honestly now it’s your turn… Stop drinking / smoking weed, quit eating shit food, and start working out hard. Lose that extra weight, and buy a whole new wardrobe of fitted clothes. Get your hair cut, and buy new shoes. Be the best dressed guy at work, and throw yourself into getting a promotion, certification, or new job. Start a side hustle. You’re going to need the money. Get your own friends. Start doing your old hobbies or find some new ones. Rock climbing, mountain biking, racing, sur…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:05 AM
4

Make friends with the women. Show them how cool and fun you are to be friends with. Then ask your new girlfriends to set you up with their friends. Problem solved! You now have new friends at work and a much bigger pool to date from. But seriously DO NOT DATE AT WORK!
/r/seduction26/05/25 03:48 PM
7

Don’t fuck with women at work. I have seen so many harassment lawsuits against men for the stupid things. Most companies settle with the women, give them a $30,000 payoff and fire the guy.
/r/seduction25/05/25 02:58 PM
110

Honestly “hey do you like tacos?” is an extremely strong opener for very similar reasons to OPs thesis.
/r/seduction23/05/25 01:06 AM
9

obviously you’re not a priority to her. so one of a couple things happened you did not build enough attraction in your approach. she’s just not that into you. Girls that have the hook set properly will cancel on a funeral to be with you.
/r/seduction18/05/25 02:00 AM
3

It is honestly one of the worst things you will ever go through. I didn’t sleep for months. Lost 30lbs. Lost my job of 16 years. Lost my wife of 16 years. Lost my home. Started drinking a lot. Contemplated driving my car off a cliff but couldn’t do that to my girls. They would need a good dad with such a selfish mom. Meanwhile she was living in the house with her affair boyfriend and having family parties like I never existed! It took two years to get the court to force her to sell the house. He…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:13 PM
12

Sounds like we were married to the same lunatic… If you have a 401k you can typically cash it out without penalty for attorney fees. I dropped $70,000 on my high conflict divorce. The restraining orders cost probably $25,000 of that to get overturned. Just keep on fighting the good fight. It will get easier once the divorce is settled. Right now she’s fighting to not lose her identity of “full time mom with a sugar daddy”. When you finally get your 50% custody she will find that she enjoys her f…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:39 AM
25

I went on about 50 first dates after getting divorced and here is my unscientific findings. The women without kids from 36 to 45 are almost feral to have a baby. It’s going to be the most common question asked in the first date and will color any relationship going forward. I had this interaction on one of my dates: “Are you open to getting married and having children in the next year?” “Well I would like to get to know you first before committing to having children…” “I’m sorry but I have had t…
/r/seduction14/05/25 09:17 PM
108

start by telling them you are from Canada.
/r/seduction14/05/25 02:42 PM
3

Listen to the “how to talk to girls” podcast. His last episode was on this topic.
/r/seduction12/05/25 09:18 PM
1

Enroll in some educational courses to help you make more money at work. When you’re a big baller you will pull a whole different tier of girls with less effort.
/r/seduction12/05/25 05:50 AM
3

It’s worth paying $200 for an hour of consultation with a quality divorce attorney in your jurisdiction to let you in on what the local judges are typically doing with other similar matters. The judges have a lot of leeway in their judgment. I could tell you that after fighting for two years with my insane ex for 50% (she wanted 100% of everything) in Riverside Ca, I finally got a court hearing and the judge chopped everything I owned in half and 50/50 custody of my small children, while not mak…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 05:46 AM
9

Solid advice! i second the quit drinking/smoking advice. You’re going to need a clear head and drinking will make your emotions worse. Start working out hard and eating mostly vegetables. My 16 year ex wife was sleeping with both the next door neighbors wife and another guy she met when she told me the I need to find myself bullshit. Let her go. The girl you married is gone and never coming back. But it turns out there is a much better life out there waiting for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 02:56 PM
12

So I have a theory on this because it happened to me as well. It’s part of the monkey branching behavior to really make sure she locks down the new mate. It’s also partially our fault for being pussy whipped bitches that allowed our wives to run around and treat us like shit for years without establishing boundaries. Like she never felt the need to prove her love to you by declaring it publicly. You were safe to ignore. Read the book “no more mr nice guy” and stop looking for validation from wom…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 03:55 AM
17

Bro find a babysitter for date nights! There’s going to be a parade of crazy women going through your life over the next few years. I recommend waiting 6 months before introducing the kids to a new girl.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 10:26 PM
1

Check out this video from @TrippAdvice He can show you the right way and wrong way to use the apps. https://youtu.be/KXXY0ydT4L4?feature=shared
/r/seduction12/04/25 04:40 PM
19

if she’s hungry, can she have some of your bread?
/r/seduction08/01/25 05:04 PM
1

Now just imagine all the guys who got that hot sexy thing, watched her turn into a bitchy wifey thing, who is now divorcing them and taking most of the things he worked for. There is peace in being alone. I hope you find yours.
/r/seduction03/01/25 04:17 PM
5

Holy crap my dude. Get some self respect and some boundaries! First get her out of the house. Get day care. Get a new job that allows you to take the kids to school. Get on with your life!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 02:12 PM
2

Here’s a moment of zen for you. I read this daily… The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When not attached to love or hate, all is clear and undisguised. Separate by the smallest amount, however, and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth. If you wish to know the truth, then hold to no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind. Hsin Hsin Ming
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:59 AM
1

CA Stay at home mom for 18 year marriage. Apparently she is incapable of retraining or getting a job because of all the time spent not working. My attorney said we can go back after 10 years to petition to remove it but it’s at the judges discretion.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:14 PM
6

lucky bastard! i’m paying lifetime alimony to a 45 year old
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:18 AM
9

Divorcing from a 24 year marriage is going to absolutely ruin you financially… Plan ahead. Like way ahead. Start squirreling away extra cash every time you get gas, groceries, or anything with cash back. You’re going to need every penny you can find to survive the road ahead. Does she work? I had to start encouraging my wife to get a job a year or two in advance so she couldn’t make the argument “i’m a stay at home mom with no skills or experience”. I mean she did that anyways but at least I cou…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:45 PM
3

not sure why you got downvoted. this is the correct answer
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 06:57 AM
13

Same thing happened to me. Affair partner moved into my house for a couple years before I got the court to mandate the sale. Afterwards they got an apartment together. She was always very careful to say that he didn’t live there and he was careful to keep his mail going to his old roommates/friends house. My court order specifically says alimony stops if she’s cohabiting but what can I do. My attorney said I have two choices: Pay a private investigator and gather evidence to go back to court and…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 10:53 PM
14

$65,000 in attorneys fees $100,000 in transferred 401k $350,000 from house sale $15,000 to pay off her car for her $10,000 in lost tools / personal possessions $750 in monthly alimony $1350 in monthly child support 50/50 Golfing three times a week - priceless!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 07:17 AM
8

Divorce was a big eye opener for me. I figured I was a tough guy who could take on anything. Turns out divorce is one of the hardest things a man can go through. I didn’t sleep through the night for at least a year and it was a brutal divorce with all kinds of lies and restraining orders from BS that cost me $75,000 in attorney fees over the course of two years. Here is what helped me: Find a therapist. Prioritize your mental health above all else. Start practicing things that bring you peace. (…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 07:00 PM
6

Choice 1: Single women between 30 and 45 who are looking to immediately get married and make babies before their womb dies up. Choice 2: Single women with kids who are looking for a baby daddy. Choice 3: Single women over 45 who have accepted the fact they missed their window to have kids or who have kids that are already grown. Get used to the fact that women in their 30s are for the most part completely transactional in their interactions with men. If you’re not willing to put a baby in them A…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 11:02 PM
5

Yeah mine switched up me for her in the story where she got black out drunk and showed up 45 minutes late with the kids in the car for the first soccer practice. I called the cops on her and they gave her a ride to a friends house leaving the kids with me since she wasn’t driving when they showed up. I got a police report but she wasn’t cited. She told people a year later that the cops took me to a friend’s because I was so out of control in her new version of that story. Cost me $60,000 to divo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 01:10 AM
1

sounds like we married the same woman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 12:05 AM
1

50/50 and $2200 a month here…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 12:50 AM
3

I took an emergency withdrawal of 50% of my 401k to pay for the $60,000 that two years of very difficult litigation. Paid her the other 50% when we were done.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:44 PM
2

Mine pushed the domestic violence button on year 2 when she saw things not going her way. Had CPS come out to discuss the bruises on my kids she had pictures of. These kids are crazy and probably got them playing soccer or climbing over the fence. It didn’t matter and a protective order was enacted. Anyways it took me another 4 months and about $20,000 to get the charges dismissed and get my custody restored.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 11:13 PM
1

100% accurate
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 11:08 PM
19

Can we normalize that it’s ok for men to go to therapy??? Like go talk this out with someone. It’s normal to be angry. A therapist can help you to work through the feelings of betrayal and grief of losing your life best friend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 11:04 PM
6

I was a bit overweight at 195 when I got divorced. mostly from drinking too much beer... I quit drinking and lost 20lbs. My blood pressure dropped from 160/100 to 115/85. The hippie chick has had me eating mostly vegetables for a few years so I’m more like 165 now. I think that a ton of women on the back half of thirty are lucky to find a guy with a job. Let alone one who can cook, plays guitar, has hobbies, takes his career seriously, is kind, has good sense of humor, doesn’t use alcohol or tak…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:03 AM
13

The first relationship after my divorce was with a sexy little girl who just moved to the beach in Southern California from NYC. She was 35, a VP of marketing, no kids, and about 95 lbs soaking wet. We fell into each other hard. So much hot hot hot sex. Her body was flawless unlike my ex who was blown out, sucked dry, and over weight. Right when we hit about 3 months, I started getting a bit too needy and asked her if she wanted to meet my two kids. She declined and a week later broke up with me…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:34 AM
5

i quit drinking in 2019 and started going to AA because i knew i would need all my focus and energy to survive the divorce. it is like an instant support group for men. there were so many guys like me who’s lives were a wrecked just like me and had turned it around. they helped get me right and with 5 years of sobriety my life has never been better. if you’re flipping cars, i would recommend giving sobriety a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:08 PM
8

I would give the same advice. Used all the newfound free time and pain as my motivator. Rededicated myself to my career. Switched companies for a raise. Started a consulting company and published a website and technical blog on all the things I’m an expert in. Got an offer I couldn’t refuse to manage a team of engineers at a new company. Now Im making double what I did at the time of my divorce. Got a new house, new RV, two new cars, and a girlfriend who hasn’t ever been married/no kids and owns…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:01 PM
7

fight for as much custody as you can get. if that means you need a new job, get one. or move in with your sibling or parents if you have to so there is someone at home to take the kids to school during your time. alimony may have a “no cohabitation” clause that basically says if your ex remarries or lives with a guy, you don’t owe alimony. the execution of this is harder than it seems though. my ex lived with her affair guy for 4 years and lied about it so she would continue to get her money. th…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 04:41 PM
10

Trust me it gets better! It took me about a year to sleep through the night. Watch out for the prescriptions. Ambien and xanax gave me serious suicidal thoughts. 5 years later… I play golf 3 times a week. I have a job making double. I’ve already replaced the 100k in my 401k I had to give her. I see my kids 50% of the week and do whatever I want the other 50%. My new house is beautiful and serene. My new gf is petite, has a masters degree, and makes good money. I have a new RV and am going to bur…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 02:39 PM
19

I reached over in bed one night to spoon her and she shuddered from my touch. It was an unconscious physical rejection from her body to any intimacy with me. At the time I thought it was confusing. I didn’t know why but I knew that something had changed. Turns out that was the day she first slept with her soon to be 5 year boyfriend. He finally dumped her ass last week.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:18 PM
22

I quit drinking and started hitting the gym when I found my ex cheating, knowing that I would need all my strength to get through the next couple years… Turns out I like being sober and fit. So five years later Im in the best shape of my life and about to go play golf for the forth time this week. My life is immmeasurably better than it was with that lying cheat. Best part is she just broke up with her affair boyfriend last week and she’s so depressed and desperate that I almost feel bad for her…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 05:10 PM
5

Good luck! I learned the hard way after being single for the first time in 17 years. I got rejected so many times!! Great first dates that turn into ghosts. Girls I dated for a couple months that would say “i’m crazy about you, I just don’t want to see you again”. What? It was all very depressing until I started to figure out the rules of the game. Be kind to yourself. It’s a mess out there but it’s also a lot of fun if you let it be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:40 AM
13

Watch your feelings carefully towards this new girl… You haven’t done the hard self work yet to get over your “I need a woman to feel good” little boy mentality. After dating 50 women I learned that women are single for a reason and they have been playing the game for years that you are just learning about for the first time. It’s not a fair situation. She might be cool with “just friends that hook up occasionally” if and only if you show zero fucks about her. The second you say i can’t wait for…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:17 AM
2

16 years. if you are in california you should file a gavron warning to the court telling her to take steps to support herself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:53 PM
4

I’m doing alimony for life in Ca… My attorney said I can go back to court to dismiss it in 5 more years, and I’ve already been paying it for 4. It’s also up to the judge at that point and they could keep it going since she is completely unable to hold a job
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 05:23 PM
3

yeah i’ve been considering that myself. it’s frankly been shocking how transactional premenopausal women are.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:26 PM
17

As a 42 y/o guy in the same position here is my advice. My health was complete shit after 20 years of working to support my family and putting my needs last. I was also drinking a lot because of the depression and stress from the divorce. My sex drive was shattered and the pressure from having to perform with a new one night stand is not easy. I finally reached a breaking point and quit drinking, stopped eating anything processed, mostly organic vegetables and fish now. I take a lot of vitamins …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:18 PM
19

this is the way. don’t let a women control your emotional state with her emotional state.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:34 PM
7

The danger of dating quickly here is immediately attracting a younger copy of your current soon to be ex… The best thing to do is first learn to be ok by yourself. Figure out who you are and what you enjoy now that you aren’t burdened by a female’s emotional baggage. I found that getting therapy was a real good investment in learning why I put up with such a shitty partner for so long. When you’ve figured yourself out a bit and aren’t so needy, you will attract healthier women.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 05:55 PM
1

3 months of marriage and no kids… you’re going to be fine. no child support or alimony. she’s not entitled to anything else. heck you could probably get the marriage annulled. go plunk down $250 for a consultation anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:29 PM
8

What is your situation? Kids? House? Retirement accounts? income inequality? long term marriage? is the ex willing to agree to a simple 50/50 split? If there’s nothing to fight about you should be able to get divorced without needing an attorney to suck up $20,000. Simple mediation will do. However, if there’s a hundred thousand dollars or more on the line it will be worth it to burn $50k to keep some of it. Between my insane ex wife thinking she was entitled to full custody, the house, and my r…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 05:42 PM
6

Everything has changed in the twenty years that I was married. The key points are this: Get professional photos taken or a friend that does photography as tier hobby. No selfies, shirtless pics at gym, and no pics with fish. The photo is key. It’s the one thing that will get you swipes. Look up how to write a good bio. It should be short, fun, and sound open to as many people as possible. Don’t cut down your prospects with “i’m only looking for a christian woman who is between 5’2 and 5’4”. Get …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 03:15 PM
2

After 17 years of marriage I was crushed when my ex cheated. I couldn’t imagine life without her… A few years and 50 first dates later, I wouldn’t even swipe right on a dating app if I saw her for the first time today. I can’t even imagine what kind of fucked up spell I was under. This woman is a zero. No hobbies. No job. No education. Her looks didn’t hold up. Total train wreck!
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 03:07 AM
4

My exwife did this… during this 6 month reconciliation she convinced me that our old fridge, couches, and bedroom set needed to be updated. She got to keep all that new stuff. The reconciliation was a trick to upgrade her post divorce apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 03:14 AM
5

I found a cool yoga chick from palm springs after 3 years of searching. We have been together for 3 years now. She’s a therapist who makes good money and owns her own house (it’s paid off). We went to burning man this year with 3 of her single girl friends. They in turn had even more single girls friends. These girls (all about 40) were all complaining about how there aren’t any good men. Nobody that is fun/reliable/honest. Maybe you should go to burning man…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 03:46 PM
18

I started an LLC to do side hustle consulting. Made an extra 40k the first year. Because of that I ended up getting hired for a new full time position as a director of IT that pays 60k more than i used to make before the divorce. My ex works under the table and could take me back to court for more money than the $2200 I’m currently paying but one of my high school aged kids is begging to live with me full time so I think that’s keeping her away from the court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 08:17 PM
21

haha you’re in trouble. get fired now and get a job that aligns with your real income potential. getting child support reduced is next to impossible. also you need to get that stay at home mom to work. mine hadn’t worked in ten years and said she was incapable of holding a job because the kids go to school and stuff. meanwhile i’m making $180k while doing 50/50 custody. meetings in the car. meetings at the park. it’s insane. long story short, i pay her $2200 a month. she works under the table to…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 08:53 PM
1

If this worked for me, it can work for anyone… Get your life together. Own a home, car, and have a solid job. Have interesting hobbies that you care about more than you do about girls. They can smell neediness a mile away. IDGAF attitude is the sexiest cologne a man can wear. Get in shape, get a haircut, and wear nice clothes. At this point you have already surpassed 98% of available single men. Pay for dating app upgrades. Get professional photos taken. No selfies, no shirtless, no fish pics. R…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 04:01 AM
2

This guy gets it… With nothing big to fight over, you won’t need an attorney. However you can typically pay a paralegal a few hundred to help you file the paperwork with the court if you’re worried about getting it right.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 02:52 PM
2

i have 50/50 and pay for medical, most sports, school and clothes expenses. as a stay at home mom for 15 years, she argued that she’s incapable of working. the judge imputed her at full time minimum wage, but the income difference is like 150k vs 28k. she works under the table for her affair partner just to fuck me over.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 10:04 PM
5

no “live laugh love” or anything about wine on my walls. no throw pillows not spending half my check on bullshit even with the $2200 in child support/alimony i’m still saving more more than i’ve was when i was married. sleeping with 35+ year old women is like shooting fish in a barrel. if you learn the game, you can have so much no strings attached sex it will make your head spin. more free time to go back to school, start a new business, get really good at your hobby, etc
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 08:49 PM
11

Yeah I cried myself to sleep for months. It got better. But it turns out golfing three times a week without getting shit is pretty nice. Not being lied to and manipulated by a BPD witch is nice too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 01:58 AM
3

the best attorneys have cases in front of the judge every week. they know the judges well and have a reputation as an honest litigator. when my attorney said something to the judge she listened and when my ex’s attorney said something the judge would chastise him for being dumb or unreasonable. of course, i paid for that level of service at an extreme rate…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 11:49 PM
5

i’m 42 and after spending a couple years fucking my way through a bunch of 28 to 38 year olds, I realized that they feel threatened by my kids they are on a timer for getting married and having their own kids. the older you go, the more urgent the need to have kids is. by the time your dating single/no kids 40 year olds, it’s a first date question for them. “are you going to be willing to have kids with me in the next year?” … um, hold on lady, we haven’t even kissed yet! i already spent 15 year…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:47 PM
6

16 year marriage. 50/50 custody. 8% for lifetime alimony. 12% for child support. i pay health insurance. And that’s pretax. taxes take another 30% leaving me with 50 cents per dollar.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 02:41 AM
3

welcome to hell! i have 50/50 and pay $2400 a month for two kids to my ex in california. she works under the table for her boyfriend to make sure i can’t prove her income (yes my attorney had her imputed at minimum wage full time). the affair partner maintains his permanent address with his brother so i can’t prove they live together and stop my alimony. she just got back from two weeks in thailand but can’t afford to help me pay for my kids orthodontist. the whole thing sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 02:57 AM
1

isn’t it amazing how much money you can save when you’re not paying for coach purses, shoes, and champagne brunch?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 01:44 PM
15

same. 18 years. she cheated. ended up living in my rv for a bit and then a tiny apartment while i paid for her to live in my house. BS dvro claims and a two year court battle that cost $100k. paid her pretty much everything i had and continue to pay her $2400 monthly. but i quit drinking at the beginning of this, got new friends, lost weight, started dressing really nice, can run a mile in 7 minutes, playing golf three times a week. got a better job. started a business. got an even better job fr…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:01 PM
3

haha we must have been married to the same girl. it took me about 4 months to fight off the dvro nonsense, and about a year to normalize my custody schedule to like 70/30. another year to get in front of the judge and win 50/50. it’s been 5 years since we separated and the young teens are both asking to live with me now. in a couple years the oldest will be driving, and i will go bank to court for full custody plus excusing the lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 11:49 PM
1

online dating is a numbers game. before i met my current girlfriend of 3 years, i found the following things: Get them off the app as quickly as you can. Try and set up a virtual “meet and greet”, phone call, or coffee date within 10 or so messages. Do not spend hours texting with a woman who will ghost you tomorrow. You can say something like “hey you seem cool, and i’m interested in filtering out women who don’t really want to date, would you be open to a quick phone chat or video call to see …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 11:32 PM
1

What’s the point? The court doesn’t care if she was on the street hooking. CA is a no fault state. I had a police report stating that my ex was driving drunk with the kids and they still gave her 50% custody. she also refused to take a drug test ordered by the court. Go get an attorney and get ready to pay them $50,000+ if you’re looking to get into a two or three year “he said / she said” court battle. mine cost $110,000 for the two of us and took 2 years. just give her half of everything and t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 10:54 PM
3

Alcohol is a depressant. If you are depressed, try quitting for a month or two and see how you feel. When I got divorced, I was so sad/lonely/angry/anxious that I was ready to drive my car off a cliff. I decided to quit drinking instead. Five years later, I have a better job, better house, better girl, better life. There is no amount of money you could pay me to go back to my old life. My five year sobriety from all substances anniversary is next month. All credit is due to actually working the …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 03:21 PM
1

Domestic violence restraining order… She lived in the house and had me pay for it for a couple years before the judge finally ordered her to sell. When I left I only took a couple things thinking she would let me get my other stuff later. She sold it at yard sale or gave it to her boyfriend. I had thousands in tools and a big rolling tool chest that were never seen again. I used half my 401k to pay my attorneys fees and live for two years while paying for two places. She was awarded the other ha…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:56 PM
67

It cost me nearly everything i have to get divorced… It took years of fighting and 60,000 in attorney fees to get 50% with my kids. I lost my house, my entire retirement, and most of my things. Five years later and I would do it again in a heart beat. Even if it cost double. The rewards of not having her in my life are so amazing. I have a better house, a better job, play more golf, a better woman, and my kids are doing fine with50/50 seeing a stable happy household at my house and a crazy bipol…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 05:50 AM
2

I had a similar experience myself… I started drinking vodka by the quart on a daily basis when I found out, my wife was cheating, and I was getting divorced. At some point, the vodka stopped working. It was one of the scariest days of my life. I couldn’t drink myself drunk. it just didn’t work anymore. I was thinking about killing myself. Too much anxiety and pain. Ended up going to an AA meeting instead and met a bunch of guys that were just like me. I’m five years sober now. It gets better. I …
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 03:22 PM
4

yeah i agree. make all of your cash slowly disappear. every gas fill up pull out $50. every grocery visit pull out $100. i was able to make about $10,000 in cash disappear before the asset discovery was requested. so glad i did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 05:16 PM
9

i put 3 girls through college from my 17 year marriage and haven’t heard from them in the four years since mom met mr wonderful. step kids are a zero sum game.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:46 AM
2

i raised my ex wife’s three daughters for 17 years. paid for two to go to college. haven’t spoken to them since the first day of separation four years ago… it feels like i wasted the majority of my life. i don’t recommend step parenting to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 02:22 PM
8

well then you are good! if she’s happy, there’s a good chance she will leave you alone and hopefully he is nice to your kids. this is the best case scenario. your job is to use your alone time to do self improvement. use your anger to get into the best shape of your life. use your free time to get a better job, go back to school, start a business or side hustle. use the uncertainty to buy a better house or car. get some therapy to see why you’re attracted to screwed up women. in time you will se…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 02:13 PM
10

you might be able to get out of paying alimony IF you can prove it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 05:54 AM
2

We must have been married to the same girl… I kept her a “prisoner in her own home” according to the restraining order. I’m like how the duck did you go out until2am with your friends twice a week?? Also the new “we’re just friends” guy has been living with her for 3 years now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 10:09 PM
1

You will need a QDRO attorney and about 6 to 8 months to split the account according to the final judgement terms.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:18 PM
1

first off, i had really good legal counsel who were respected by the judge and were in front of her daily. it felt like my attorneys were given more credence than my ex wife’s attorney who kept filing nonsense motions. second, my requests were always reasonable (let’s split everything in half) while hers were always like “i want him to give me the whole house and its $500,000 in equity because as a stay at home wife who never had to work a single day in 15 years i deserve it”. so when it came ti…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 05:52 PM
3

same situation but mine asked for 100% custody and the whole house in its entirety. i spent $60k in court fighting for 50% and she spent $50k. it took two years but eventually she got half of everything just like i offered on day 1.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:51 AM
2

I used KBB and it valued my jeep at $4500 and my rv at $16000. I could sell the jeep for $10k and RV at $20k easy. I paid off the loan for her Hyundai Genesis and kept both my cars straight up. Good trade in my book.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 09:22 PM
5

I filled a “Gavron Warning” at the time of separation putting her on notice that she has a “reasonable time to prepare for eventually supporting herself”. The court typically sees this reasonable amount of time as half the length of the marriage from my attorney told me. In my case that’s 9 years. I’m already done with 4… I was thinking of refilling to ask for a reduction but i got a $50,000 raise and figure i’ll go into court asking for a $700 reduction in alimony only to get slapped with a $15…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:39 PM
7

If the marriage goes over ten years in California she gets “lifetime” alimony. So I’m going to be paying my ex $8000 a year for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 05:05 PM
1

It’s written in the divorce degree that i claim one and she claims the other.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 10:11 PM
7

I have 50/50 and still pay $2050 a month for two kids. Fortunately I get to claim one of them on my taxes and head of household for myself which reduces my taxes by about $12k! 50/50 also means that you have to give permission that change schools, and reduces the chances your ex will skip town with the kids and new mr cool.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 07:45 PM
7

Start learning about what you did wrong with women first. You need to be in a strong place emotionally before you can attract women so trying while you are still depressed isn’t going to work and will depress you more. Good news is that this is a great time to work on yourself! Work on your body. Start exercising. Get some new designer clothes and a great haircut. Go to therapy. Learn about why your parents messed you up and why you married that whore of a wife. Find that guy you used to be. Get…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 01:04 AM
2

What is the downside to moving out? Reason 1: She will immediately use it as a tool to force primary custody her way. You can fight against this but you will need to have a new place with a separate bedroom for the kids and a job flexible enough to allow you to pick up / drop off kids to school etc. If you don’t plan on getting 50/50 anyway because you really can’t spend two hours a day as your kids school taxi then move out already and figure out the custody schedule later. Reason 2: It’s harde…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 12:45 AM
3

get a couple nice hookers and have your first threesome. do really dirty things to them. if you’re still thinking about your ex wife’s sex life you should have another threesome. in other words, the only reason you are thinking about her sex life is because you don’t have anything interesting to think about with your own sex life. anecdotally, i stopped thinking about my ex after i slept with a girl 15 years younger than me who had purple hair and pierced nipples. you should try that too
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:20 PM
3

DO: get a nice young hooker. use protection. have fun for an hour. pay her $200. DONT: hook up with the young nurse from work and have another baby before your divorce is finalized like my old neighbor Kurtis. sell the new mustang gt you bought for your midlife crisis and get a new family wagon for your 4 kids with two different moms. kurtis is an idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 02:40 PM
1

i raised her 3 daughters and then we had two more girls together. they are young teenagers now and both want to live with me because i’m stable and moms a crazy alcoholic mess.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 05:03 AM
34

I second this advice. I quit drinking after staying up all night crying with a shotgun and a bottle of vodka. Decided to go to AA in the morning instead of killing myself. The anxiety was crushing. It took about 6 months of sobriety before I got my mental health back. It took another year to win 50/50 custody of my kids. Got a new job making double. Got a new house that’s better than the old one. Went out with 50 women. Slept with a bunch of them. Got a new girlfriend who makes $200 an hour, own…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 11:10 PM
1

https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/amp/
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 07:16 AM
1

wow wow wow. WTF Do not give her the house! Have your attorneys impound her as making the $70,000 she is capable of making. If you’re in CA file a Gavron warning today giving her a reasonable time limit to become self sufficient.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:30 PM
3

Guitar, drums, sex…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 09:45 PM
5

This might need an additional explanation for the newly divorced… Those that know, know it’s a full time gig!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 09:44 PM
2

I used to love golfing when I was a teenager but my ex did not approve of the time and money it took. SinceI was a “nice guy” I stopped playing for 20 years. Now I play golf a few times a week and am scoring in the 80s for the first time in my life. The best part? Nobody said shit to me about it. I’m so happy I’m divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 09:44 PM
3

I spent $20,000 in additional attorney’s fees dealing with my ex wife’s bullshit TRO… I have 50/50 now but it took about 6 months to prove my innocence. You are in for some next layer hell in the next few months. Just control your emotions and you will get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 05:23 AM
4

my ex-wife strung me along for an extra year meanwhile she convinced me to buy her a new car, new appliances, new couches, a new bedroom set, and embezzled $10,000 in cash from me. she got to keep all those things in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 08:31 PM
1

I spend 3 hours every day taking and picking up my two kids from school. One is in middle school 7 miles over there and the other is in elementary 4 miles over here. There’s like 15 stop lights that are always red and the kids are always late coming out. Fortunately I’m the boss at work and work remotely so I set my own schedule. Otherwise I have no idea how people do this! 2 more years and my oldest is driving…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 11:45 PM
8

I raised three step daughters from 3,5,7 until they were 20,22,24. Thousands of soccer practices, private schools, cars, and college payments. During the divorce mom alleged some BS abuse for a TRO and got 2/3 of them to write letters to the court saying that I was abusive to them and their mom and they saw me beat my two kids several times. I was dumbfounded. I never in my life have spanked a child let alone hit any of them. I didn’t even call them names! I think at the time she was concerned a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:46 AM
0

Don’t get too cocky… If she wants custody back she will get 50/50 without blinking. If she wants full custody, she can put you through the ringer, cost you tens of thousands in court fees and might get it. She very well might be able too afford that place when you start paying child support and alimony. Plus she’s probably already counting on sharing the cost with her boyfriend who will “not live there” officially so it doesn’t impact her alimony but in reality he’s always there. I’m paying my e…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 11:53 PM
1

the good news is you don’t know what’s coming down the road. It’s been 4 years and my two daughters are 11 and 13 now and hate being with mom. They are both asking to live with me full time because i’m chill and treat them with respect.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:12 PM
5

maybe try to get some help with the kids and get more custody to reduce your support payments. 50/50 should save you a lot of cash. if you can prove she’s cohabiting you should be able to get alimony reduced. also now that you’re not dealing with a women’s nonsense 24x7 you can use all that free time to get a better job or get qualified to get a better job. you don’t have any excuses. you aren’t a victim to her. go take what you want
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 10:42 PM
10

i’m so glad i’m divorced. literally living my best life. it gets better!
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 10:07 PM
2

it doesn’t work like that… you are presumed guilty after an accusation and will have to prove your innocence. she is presumed innocent until proven guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 08:33 PM
0

Republicanism…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 02:48 PM
3

Let’s keep in mind that the women we met and married at 20 years old were chock full of hormones telling them to pair bond with a man and have children. Starting at around 35 these hormones start to drop until menopause kicks in. At that point women have a whole different set of hormones and much more testosterone than they ever had before or know what to do with. So with that i mind, I think it’s pretty normal that we see these people change to the point that they are completely unrecognizable …
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 07:22 PM
6

so true! i felt so vindicated getting 50/50 of everything i earned after a two year trial. my SAHM ex still feels like i robbed her. what the heck is wrong with these girls???
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 07:04 PM
6

i’m not sure you want the attorneys giving out free consultations… its $200 to $400 an hour for a good attorneys time. they will ask for a $7000 retainer but it will be gone in a few months. so get ready to cash out your retirement for the rest of the $30,000 to $50,000. another gentleman on here is having issues with mom being late to visitation. my stipulation says “parents visitation is canceled if more that 30 minutes late”, his did not and now the ex is calling the cops because she was late…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 07:02 PM
3

whoops… that’s where good lawyering comes in i guess. maybe file for a new one that is clear on that matter? my ex is to this day always somewhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours late. she also no shows at least once a month with out letting me know until a couple hours later. my girls are little teens now and they both want to live with me full time because mom is unstable. i haven’t pushed the issue to the court yet because i kind of like having a few days to myself and i’m hoping for the older kid…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 02:39 PM
10

if you don’t have one, you need to get a temporary emergency custody order (ex parte) on file with the court. (CA FL-305) a paralegal can help you file this if you can’t afford an attorney. in the order it will spell out the rules, like if parent has not arrived to exchange the child within 30 minutes of the arranged time, they forfeit their visitation. if the cops show up, you show them the court order and tell them to fuck off. don’t worry about what happened. if there is no order, it’s the wi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 06:19 AM
4

have you talked to an attorney about this yet? depending on where you live and how long you are married, she may be entitled to half of this property.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 06:01 AM
6

middle aged dating is like shopping for clothes at a thrift store. Anything that’s in the store has been tossed out by somebody else for some reason. your job is not to necessarily find something new, but to find some thing that doesn’t have holes in it, stink, or have stains.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 03:16 PM
4

i gave her three months notice on the utilities and shut them off. she tried to use it in court against me that i “left my kids in the dark”. i showed them several communications notifying her about it and they dropped it. the mortgage i had to pay for six months until she got a court order granting her exclusive use of the house and ordering her to pay. she still missed a few payments and dinged our credit. the court ordered her to sell the house after 18 months of litigation. i kept records of…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:18 PM
1

the standard california stipulation says (this is from mine): “Alcohol or substance abuse: Mother and father shall not consume alcoholic beverages, narcotics, or restricted drugs within 12 hours prior to or during periods of time with the children.” But she will 100% use your marijuana use against you in court and will probably win some custody from it. If i was you, i would quit immediately and start going to weed-anon getting a card signed for each time you go. PS it doesn’t work the other way…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:53 PM
1

You’re in the middle of a law suit where there is hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line, and you’re asking if you should have a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 07:40 PM
10

were we married to the same woman? they sound identical… the thing to understand here is what you are describing is a woman with a borderline personality disorder. she has a bad brain that doesn’t work like yours and mine. a big sign of this is the inability for self reflection. when a therapist says something they don’t like instead of thinking about it, they will quit going and blame the therapist. they are unable to take accountability for anything and so create wild fictional tales where you…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 06:00 AM
1

she gets to keep your health insurance if you are separated. the way i understand it, the only time you should consider legal separation is when your religious beliefs will not permit a divorce or your ex has cancer and you’re willing to let her finish chemo before dropping the hammer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:40 AM
5

i tried to settle out of court for a straight up and down 50/50 split of all assets and custody. she wanted 100% at the house and 100% of the kids even though she was a stay at home mom‘s and the house had over 500k in equity. For some reason she was under the impression that I would be paying her attorney fees to. So she dragged the court case out for years, filing lots of l nonsense motions. and being clearly unreasonable. The judge ruled in my favor, gave me 50% of everything and ordered her …
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 06:25 PM
12

The odds are that she was having guys in her before she talked about separation with you. Women typically money branch and get a new branch to hold onto before letting go of the previous branch.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 05:46 PM
5

“the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. the second best time to plant a tree is today.” while you shouldn’t have let her leave in the first place, it’s not too late to make a HUGE impression on this young man’s life. as your son grows, he will need to learn from his dad how to be a man. this is something that moms don’t know about. fight for yourself. fight for your son. it will be worth it in 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 01:27 PM
8

good. your life is going to get so much better! watch this video. it’s so true! https://youtu.be/qGN1a4fN2sg
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 04:25 AM
15

here’s some sage advice: take care of your body and your mind will follow. quit drinking and smoking weed. they are both depressants and will unsurprisingly make you depressed. they also make you fat and lazy, which unsurprisingly makes you depressed. start getting a good night sleep. get out of bed by 6:45 every day and to sleep by midnight. stop eating garbage. eat mostly vegetables, rice, and fish. zero soda. cut all extra sugar. this is how people live to 100 all around the world. it’s not w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:05 AM
7

I love being divorced! I play golf twice a week. My career really took off after I gave it more attention. I have more money than ever (even with $2000 a month in support). My new house is awesome and decorated with all my guitars and art on the walls. no more of this “eat, pray, love” bullshit in my kitchen.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:22 PM
3

not sure why you got down voted… this is great advice. i got an enormous amount of help from my therapist. she told me that she sees hundreds of people in bad relationships but that my wife was one of the worst she’s ever seen and that i put up with it because i think that i’m not worthy of real love. she helped me to see that i’m a high value man and should only be with high value women.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:18 PM
1

oh no kidding. it would have 100% been supervised visitation. in fact, i lost custody for two months because of the TRO she raised in retaliation and could have lost it permanently if not for the $20,000 i spent on exceptional legal counsel.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:10 PM
3

the court doesn’t care… My ex was blackout drunk driving the kids to soccer practice. I called the cops on her but they didn’t give her a dui because she was out of the car when they arrived at practice. they wrote a report that basically said “yeah mom was drunk when we showed up, we can’t write a ticket but gave her a ride to a friends. dad was there to watch the kids”. i kept a detailed calendar of all the days she missed picking up because she was drunk or out partying. i had testimony from …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:38 PM
2

yes i’m 43 and he’s probably like 48. i dated women from 26 to 56. I had a harder time building connection with the younger girls because i have kids, own my own house, had the same job for most of their life, and stopped listening to new music in 1998. watch out for the women without kids from 36 to 42. they are all dating on a timeline and they look at you as a tool to fill their womb before it dries up. most of them will bring this up on the first date. It’s a huge red flag for me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:20 PM
23

OLD requires a whole strategy. Buy some nice ass clothes and get a good haircut pay for some professional photos look up how to write a good bio don’t waste a lot of time texting. a few back and forth s and move straight to “hey you seem cool, i would like to have a casual coffee date with you to get to know you better” or “hey you seem cool, can i call you on the phone to get to know you better?” if they won’t commit to off app communication or in person date move on. 90% of the girls are just …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:54 AM
2

unfortunately by the time you get to trial to resolve these $10,000 grievances, you will have spent two years and $50,000 on attorney’s fees. Also the judge will spend just a few minutes dealing with your case so the big items (custody, child support, house equity, 401k, paying for her attorney fees) get dealt with first and minor grievances like “she owes me $15,000 for the Mercedes and she stole $4000 of my tools” don’t get much time. so if you can resolve this with an out of court settlement,…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:52 PM
1

also keep in mind that child support gets calculated with alimony in mind. for example, when my $700 alimony goes away my child support increases to $1600 from $1200. so kicking her off alimony only saves me a few hundred bucks. it’s all baked into the same calculators. if you split them up you won’t get that advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:44 PM
2

wow that’s such a ridiculous arrangement on so many levels… talk about enmeshed codependency. the short answer is yes and if she is anything like my ex she would be embezzling money from you every time she goes to the store. $50 here, $100 there. Paying for her kid’s college with my cash, and being reimbursed by her kid when the financial aid comes in. She got a new car and all new furniture on my dime before hitting me with the divorce and a BS restraining order. There’s no way your ex is not t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:39 PM
1

i ended up in the same situation. told my ex that i would split the $7000 return with her if she cooperated but she would not give me her w2s or 1099s. So in order to prevent being screwed by her claiming both kids, I filed early and got like $3000 back. If she filed and claimed both kids I was going to owe $3000. Well her attorney filed a bunch of stuff about it, (which probably cost me a few thousand in attorney’s fees) and it ended up being a line item 2 years later when we finally got to tri…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 02:55 PM
1

don’t do lump sum. if she gets married in 3 years or starts cohabiting your alimony goes away. lots of things can happen in your favor. if you are in california hit her with a “Gavron warning” letting her know she has a reasonable amount of time to become self sufficient. typically half the marriage. if your in another state see if they have a similar motion to file.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 12:09 AM
7

My SATM ended up screwing my neighbor, the other neighbors wife, and now she’s in a long term relationship with that lady’s friend from college who she met while we were married and probably screwed too. So now I pay her $2000 a month in support and lifetime alimony for the 18 years that I worked my ass off so she could stay home, raise the kids, sleep in until 10 and be drunk by the time I got home. You need to make sure that your women work. Don’t be like me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 03:14 PM
2

don’t fight over a bone. sell the place and get a slightly smaller new one down the street.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:11 PM
-1

I think there is a few things going on in this question. Do not take this guy back. He’s a bum. This sub is full of guys who got cheated on. We aren’t friendly to cheaters. He has a legal right to talk to his child. Long term you want him to be involved with his child because it’s in your child’s best interest. We’re sick of women deciding that we aren’t allowed to talk to or see our kids. Now it’s up to you when and where those interactions take place and I encourage you to have strong boundari…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:46 AM
10

First and foremost: You are an absolute king amongst men for getting full custody. Much respect! That takes such an enormous amount of effort, self sacrifice, and dedication. It’s no wonder you are feeling exhausted. Men are not good at appearing weak and asking for help but raising kids is not a one person job. Get some reinforcements from your team to help you. Your parents, sister, and friends are all going to need to know that you are in need of some help. Get to know who your kids friends p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:38 PM
7

how’s that? Unless you got divorced before 2018, Donald Trump signed a law forcing men to pay all the taxes on their child support and alimony payments. https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/04/tax-plan-divorce-alimony-marriage-389074
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:15 PM
4

California here: Odds are the money in her savings account is going to be untraceably gone by the time you get to trial. I know because I made over 20k of my liquid assets vanish by slowly increasing the amount of cash i took out every time i went to the store. $200 here and $100 there until i had a sock drawer full of cash and no financial discovery to hide from. My 401k was $120,000 before the divorce. I cashed out and spent $60,000 on my attorney fees getting to the trial after a two year lon…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:56 PM
4

this is totally normal! i lost mine too. i quit drinking, started exercising, only eat organic natural food, and my sex drive came back hard. You are just depressed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:22 PM
2

Yeah this is par for the course. I lost all my married friends except one. Start going to “meetups” for whatever your hobbies are and make some new friends.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 05:00 PM
12

Yup the old bullshit TRO to change custody trick. Works every time. I spent 4 months without seeing my girls and about $20,000 fighting restraining order. Don’t ever admit to cussing at her if it’s verbal and don’t ever text her a mean written word. “She’s making it up to win more custody” is your argument. Restraining orders are to protect women from violence not BS bad words. The courts are usually pretty good at sniffing this out but you definitely need some legal help to get the issue on cal…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 02:27 AM
3

married for 18 years and divorced at 40. in california, anything over ten years is automatically considered lifetime. however if you file a Gavron Warning at first chance it puts her on notice to start taking care of herself. the courts typically knock it down to half time after that so realistically I’m paying for another 7 years…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 01:27 AM
1

if she has a job making good money she really doesn’t need a vocational assessment. VAs are designed for men with degrees who suddenly start working at McDonalds or stay at home women with teaching credentials who “can’t find a job”. High income earners salaries are very up and down from year to year so you’re probably not going to get much more from her. The question is: why are you trying to get more from her? She’s not your mom and you need to be able to take care of yourself. Face the facts …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 01:22 AM
1

My friend is fat and ugly but he’s funny and makes good money. He doesn’t get the hot girls but his numbers are about the same as mine. In fact he gets laid a lot more with 5s than i do with 8s.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 01:25 AM
14

She wanted me to give her the house (with $500,000 equity) in exchange for the 2006 motorhome (worth about $20,000) She thought it was fair because we would both have a place to live presumably. Also wanted 100% custody, $5000 a month in support, and for me to pay her attorney fees. What she got was 50% custody, 50% house, 50% 401k. I paid off her 2013 hyundai genesis ($12k) in exchange for the motor home and my old badass jeep. I pay her $1300 for support and $700 for “lifetime” alimony. I didn…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 01:19 AM
19

Haha don’t hate the players, hate the game. I’m a top tier man (early 40s, 6’4”, college education, earning about 200k, own a nice house, rv, jeep, in good shape, don’t drink or do drugs, well educated, great cook, golf in the 80s, and can play 3 instruments). My experience with dating is that it takes 20 likes, to get one date, and it takes 4 dates to get one to go on a second date. Don’t waste too much time chatting in text. Use it as a vehicle to getting a date as soon as possible. Most girls…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 04:47 PM
3

nah i wouldn’t trust my ex to “grab” her things from me either. you should bring a friend to videotape the whole thing and get in and out quick. my ex wouldn’t even let me get my things so consider yourself lucky. she sold thousands of dollars of my tools at a yard sale.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 10:32 PM
4

I was ordered to pay $750 a month in lifetime alimony from my 18 year marriage. Other CA men don’t forget to file a “Gavron warning” with the court to cut that lifetime sentence down to “half the duration” of the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 06:57 PM
5

the good news is that you have nothing to lose! my ex got a half million dollars from me so it made sense to spend $60,000 for my attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 01:20 PM
4

this… she’s manipulating you. your kids will be fine when they are with you. she can grow up and get a job like a normal adult human.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 05:23 PM
1

it doesn’t matter. i sold my house at 675 when i could have gotten 750 for it with a few minor repairs. the ex did not fix crap. just eat it and be done with it. yes i make a bit more but not enough to change the numbers by much.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 03:25 PM
4

You need some therapy to figure out why you think you’re not important enough to be treated right by a woman. This woman is not a good match for you. Quit your crying and follow this advice: Stop drinking and smoking weed (if you do) these will make you apathetic and depressed. Start eating right. Lots of vegetables. No fast food. Get some nice new clothes. Stop dressing like a bum. Get a good hair cut and shave. Start going to the gym. Lift heavy shit. Run until your heart feels like it’s going…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 03:19 PM
2

Very similar financial situation here in Ca. The house will need to be sold or a party buy out the other immediately. i got $250,000 from the sale. she got 50% of the 401k with a $3000 QDRO that i paid for. she got lifetime alimony at $700 a month. I got 50/50 custody which i pay $1400 a month in support for my two kids. i pay for the kids insurance and claim one on my taxes. i paid off her car to get my name off the loan and changed the title. i sold all the stocks and half the 401k to pay for …
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:51 PM
1

holy shit! it’s time to step up bro. you need to file an emergency request for order asking for 100% custody and supervised visitations until she gets her shit together. time to get a new job, have your mom come stay with you, get a sister to help, or pay for a live in babysitter. you have hard choices to make.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:19 PM
5

In California, you can request an order that your ex start working and if they refuse they can be assessed as if they’re already working a full time job when the support order is created. Also make sure to file a Gavron warning to cut down your alimony payment duration What is a Gavron Warning? A Gavron Warning is essentially a court notice advising supported spouses that they are expected to become self-supporting within a reasonable amount of time. The goal is to prevent them from relying inde…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 05:30 AM
6

My ex expected me to pay off the house and give it to her too. I told her “I would rather watch the house burn down than give it to her and her boyfriend”. So she got a restraining order to kick me out of the house based on the “credible threat of violence”. It took two years and $60,000 in attorney fees but I finally got the judge to force the sale of the house giving me 50% of the $500k in equity. I have a new house now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 06:02 PM
4

lololol the nerve of these entitled women!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 05:07 PM
45

i don’t know… i’m divorced after 18 years. my mortgage went from $1750 to $3200 in my new house, i’m paying $1300 a month for child support (2 kids 50%) and $700 for her “lifetime” alimony. So you would think that I should be about $3000 a month poorer right? The reality is that I got a new job that pays more and since I don’t have to pay for her purses, closet full of shoes, monthly hair treatments, and eating out every damn day, I have saved/invested more money in the last three years than I d…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 02:07 AM
32

I pay my ex $2000 a month for support and alimony (50/50 custody), my mortgage went from $1750 to $3200 a month for my new house, and some fucking how I have more money left over at the end of the month than I ever did with her “managing” the finances! I’m maxing out my 401k and in 3 years already got back to where it was before I had to give her $60k of the old plan. I guess all those purses, shoes, and brunches with the girls really add up! Got all new golf clubs and I’m playing twice a week. …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 12:51 AM
3

haha i’ve started golfing twice a week since my divorce and nobody is around to give me shit about it. after three years i broke 80 for the first time last week!
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 10:07 PM
5

unless it’s a new car you paid cash for, save yourself $50,000 of attorney fees and give it to her. Make her qualify for a new loan to refinance your name off the title though or she’ll stop making payments and ruin your credit. If she can’t qualify for a loan, or doesn’t want to, go sell it and give her half the money with receipts that it was a fair deal. if you didn’t take it with you, the stuff in the house is gone. get new stuff. get a new car. get a new life and forget about all the old th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 02:26 AM
1

she still has to agree to what the judge says. my ex still pushed for trial after being told she would lose.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:13 AM
1

it’s the whole “eat, pray, love” movement that girls in their thirties hit. they realize that their eggs are drying up soon and go on a journey of self discovery only to wind up in basically the same situation somewhere else with some other guy… if you think about it from that angle, they only have a few more years to breed and need to make sure they are in the best possible situation before it’s game over at 42.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 09:28 PM
2

yeah once you spend $20,000 defending against the BS restraining order she’s going file when she figure out that’s the best way to start in the house and get full custody
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 09:07 PM
6

don’t date at work. period. full stop. are you a man who is serious about his career? or are you looking for a sexual harassment lawsuit to get fired over? don’t ever hug women at work. don’t touch them on the shoulder. don’t stare at them or drop by their cubicle to chat. there is a whole sexual harassment conveyor belt that women have learned to work just as they have the DVRO system in divorce. it’s an easy $20k per settlement cash for them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 10:48 PM
1

likewise
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:53 AM
2

Divorce is realizing you have a lot more money left over each month even after paying her $2000 a month and double your old mortgage for rent…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 10:35 PM
2

Divorce is getting to play golf twice a week after not playing for 20 years because it was too expensive and took too much time away from the kids so she could go out instead.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 10:33 PM
16

“she filed and you don’t know why. that means another man is involved” - Truth!
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 07:02 PM
7

dating women from 35 to 45 is just an interview for if you are willing to breed them before their womb dries up and then capable of making your support payments.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 09:53 PM
7

start playing golf three times a week.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 08:54 PM
2

i got lifetime but they said i could file to adjust after 7 more years of $1000 a month….
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 04:31 AM
2

much love my brother. i’ve done this exact same thing too and it’s crushing. just remember that you are fighting because your kids will be better off with you in their lives. my brother found out his wife was cheating after 25 years and gave in the the depression and overdosed on oxy. his kids went to hell. the daughter married the first loser she met, the son disappeared at 16, and the youngest got addicted to drugs and is a transgender prostitute in vegas now. watching that go down with him wh…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:48 AM
4

my brother you need to speak with the best attorney in town. with this amount of money on the line, she’s going to go for blood. don’t take legal advice from reddit. if you’re in riverside county, i recommend bratton and razo. these guys are legit good attorneys. generally only costs a few hundred for a consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:34 AM
1

it took me 2 years and 60,000 in attorney fees to get my 50/50 custody plus about 30% of my after tax earnings for support and alimony. seems like a fair deal. take it and run! get it written up by the mediators and signed by both parties. you can always get the money reassessed later if her employment changes or you lose your job. custody is founded on whatever is the status quo and is much harder to change later.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:27 AM
-4

i was never a fan of gun control until i learned (the hard way) how easy it is to lose your mind. all it takes is getting fired, losing your house, a cheating wife stabbing you in the back, and a serious health problem at the same time… the argument of “good guy” or “bad guy” misses the point that we can all be both depending on what’s going on in our lives. this will pass!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 07:33 PM
5

brilliant idea. make her an employee so she can sue you for sexually harassment or wrongful termination. there’s no limit to the amount of hell an ex can bring. pay her the cash and cut all ties!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 03:06 PM
3

truth. my ex bought a new car, couch, fridge, and bedroom set in the 4 months prior to separation. guess who got to pay for all that?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 04:22 PM
3

this is true. if she wants to go full victim like my ex she will claim verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation to get a restraining order on you and get you out of the house and away from the kids. then when it’s time to do custody agreements she will say well they have been with me only for the last month because of the dvro and should remain with me forever. i eventually “won” 50/50 custody but that divorce cost me $50,000 in attorney fees, $350,000 in cash, plus $65,000 from my 401k. on top o…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 10:23 PM
3

my wife took all my tools and tool chest and never gave them back for some reason. her affair partner has them now. enjoy my beautiful tool chest asshole! i bought two new tool chests to replace it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:04 PM
1

i would say you have a very good shot at getting this. she’s the full time worker who will have to figure out child care. picking up the kids, dropping them off. it takes several hours a day to do this and is incredibly hard for full time workers. worst case scenario is you get 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:44 PM
3

give it time…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:41 PM
2

only 7 more years…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 08:35 PM
3

same… i said something to the effect of “i would rather watch the house burn down than give it to you and your boyfriend”. well the bullshit domestic violence restraining order took months to resolve while she ran off to her boyfriends house up north and said she was in a “shelter” to keep safe from me. it cost me $50,000 in attorney fees, but eventually i got my day in court. all charges dropped and 50/50 custody. however i pay $2500 a month for child support and alimony because she refuses to …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:14 PM
4

So here’s the magic sauce: You are in a life or death situation. Life stress like this can kill you if you aren’t strong enough to take it. Deal with this like your life depends on it and trust that a better life is waiting for you on the other side. Concentrate on what you can control. Right now that’s you. Eat a healthy diet. No more shit food. Cut out all processed food. You are what you eat. Quit drinking for a while. Alcohol is a depressant. You need all your energy for this fight. Get good…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 03:17 PM
1

Scary accurate. I went through each and every one during my 2 year long road to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 03:35 AM
3

It’s called branch swinging. women are genetically programmed to not leave a mate before they have another one locked in. https://theredarchive.com/archive/40828
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 02:08 AM
1

haha yeah i think one woman had a real evil husband and she did in fact get him to pay the legal fees. Now it’s a story they all tell their friends. I’m sure dirt bag attorneys are more than willing to play up the idea too.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 09:30 PM
3

it took me three years to get the house sold. meanwhile i lived in a tiny apartment. don’t get hung up on things moving quickly. she knows she will never live in a house again with no job history and will take as long as possible to leave. also her friends have probably told her that you will have to pay for her attorney fees too so why not lawyer up. Good luck. You’re in for a long road. Get comfortable where you are and have fun. FYI my divorce cost $60,000 for me and $40,000 for her. Mine was…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 02:41 PM
9

that’s a good age range. she’s hitting her age cliff and you’re going to look the same for a while. Just watch out because all the 35 to 40 year old single women i dated were all trying to get pregnant before their ovaries dry up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 02:32 AM
5

this. the real evil girls will use the domestic violence laws to force you out and into jail. she just has to bump her head. Steer clear of her if she’s willing to lie to the police to fuck you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 05:04 AM
5

yes. 14 years. she was awarded lifetime alimony but we filed a “Gavron warning” asap letting her know that she is expected to start taking steps to becoming self supporting. I’m told that in 7 i can petition the court to stop her alimony. Yes. i got a 30k raise. alimony was based on my previous salary but child support made up the difference and it washed out. with 50/50 custody i pay $2100 a month on $150,000 in income with $700 being alimony. my wife was unemployed when we divorced and spent t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 04:54 AM
2

yeah she wanted 100% custody and 100% of the house, and 100% of my savings and stuff. I think the final bill ended up being around $60k for me to get 50/50 custody, to kick her out of “our” house, force the sale and split the equity in half. I still owe her my entire remaining 401k but i have to pay for a new QRDO attorney to chop that up. The real dark triad women will call CPS on you, get domestic violence restraining orders for fake claims, and refuse to negotiate at all, for anything, ever. …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 12:23 AM
2

It took me three years and $50,000 to get to the “trial”… so unless the amounts are enormous it’s not worth bringing up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 07:54 PM
1

ten gets rid of my child support… it should drop down to $800 after the kids grow up
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 12:58 AM
7

good advice… the clever ones will keep giving you head while embezzling your cash and keeping a log of every word you say to her to establish a pattern of abuse. of course they are giving the AP head too so :/
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 01:20 AM
9

16 years married to a SAHW. She got roughly 60% of all assets and equity including retirement. I won 50/50 custody after a three year trial that involved allegations of child abuse and a domestic violence restraining order that was a lie and cost me an extra $20,000 to defend. After spending $60,000 in attorney fees she was awarded lifetime alimony as well as child support. She had to pay for her attorney which was the only justice. He was telling her it would be free and i would pay for all the…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 01:17 AM
1

It took three years to get her out of the house. I finally got my equity money and bought a new smaller but nicer place just for me and the kids. I ducking love it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:13 PM
2

be careful about staying in the home with a true evil woman. mine got a domestic violence restraining order against me. took months and $10k to get past that case.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:09 PM
3

Good idea on the war chest. I took out cash back every time i bought something for about a year until I had around $7000 dollars cash saved up. Ended up needing that money… Also found out she was embezzling money for years from me. She would pay for her daughters college expenses and they would reimburse her with grant money cash later.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:07 PM
2

Everyone has narcissistic traits on occasion. That’s different from being clinically diagnosed with a personality disorder. Think Donald Trump and his over inflated ego. Having to lie about the biggest crowds, his lack of empathy, his name calling and demeaning language. Most of all, the inability to accept that he lost. Has to be fraud. It’s not possible that I the greatest human lost. The sharpie on the weather map… the weather satellite is wrong, I was right. The constant gaslighting making u…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:02 PM
1

She thinks you are her dad. My ex did the same thing. She wants me to pay all her bills so she can party with mr cool. Cut the joint accounts tomorrow and see the sparks fly. Then you will know who she really is. If she’s just using you for money she will freak out. Maybe even threaten you with domestic violence or get a restraining order to get you out of your house. If she’s sorry and begs you it’s just because mr cool isn’t a sure thing yet. Don’t fall for it. They lie like we breathe.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 06:15 AM
3

mine got half the value of all equity at time of final divorce hearing not separation. i mean think about about it… it took me three years to get her out of our house if we would have sold in 2018 it would have gone for $450k she was finally ordered to move and sell within 3 months at the divorce hearing and the house sold for $800. We both got equal amounts of equity from that sale. Also if you sell your stock and hide it the judge will f$ck you big time. You should have a financial restraining…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 07:25 AM
3

he’s 100% right! do not text anything. everything you text will be read back to you by a judge trust me. in my case i was asked “what did you mean when you said ‘i would rather burn the house down than see you and your boyfriend live there onmy dime’”?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 05:36 PM
2

an s corp is expensive and requires separate bank accounts, accounting software, and in california a minimum $800 a year business license fee but you can pay yourself a salary that is about 40% of what your actually earn and she will not be able to pierce the “corporate veil” to see the company assets. or at least that’s the idea… although it’s probably cheaper to get more custody of the kids to reduce your payments. i have 50/50 a pay $2200 a month but it’s only 25% of my monthly after tax inco…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 05:30 PM
22

hang on brother! i went through the same thing. Got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis while my wife was having an affair. she bolted as soon as she knew i was sick. she accused me of child abuse and had my step kids write statements also confirming the bull shit allegations. I used my entire retirement for attorneys fees. it took 3 years of living in a tiny apartment and fighting but i got 50/50 custody, the house sold, and kept the rv and jeep. just bought a new house which is smaller but bette…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 06:06 AM
2

my ex is going on 3 years with the dude she was cheating on me with. good says i. otherwise there would be a train of new men in my daughters lives. give it time and you will see that your ex sucks. i would swipe left on mine today.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 11:56 PM
2

Sure represent yourself but make sure you file that paperwork to give your stbx a Gavron warning to limit the amount of time you have to pay alimony. Research Epstein and Watts credits to get fair payment it shes been living in your house for free. Realize that all evidence has to be submitted in official filings or it doesn’t count. That you know what your rights are and know the language of a proper stipulation. If she lawyers up your going to be f’ed. this all doesn’t matter if you’re broke a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 03:39 PM
2

you can do what ever you want on your time once it’s in the stipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/21 02:35 PM
4

my ex did a scorched earth fight to stay in the house and keep all custody. i eventually got her out of the house, sold it, and got 50/50 for my kids but it took 3 years and $50,000 in attorney fees. she paid an additional $40,000 from her proceeds of the house for her attorney. i offered her 50/50 from day one but she made me fight for it. mission accomplished!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 07:37 PM
2

i agree.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 03:05 PM
4

she’s a child. when she grows up she’s going to realize that she’s a totally different person than the one who fell in love with you. then she will rip your future selfs heart out and leave you with nothing. it’s not personal, it’s just how they are made at the factory… who gets married and divorced by 19??? that’s a huge red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 02:58 PM
6

You can thank Donald Trump for that sweet tax… part of the fuck working class voters and give billionaires huge breaks tax law of 2018.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 04:14 AM
2

lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 06:30 AM
3

bull shit restraining orders, CPS investigations on my misconduct, unreasonable demands, no compromise on property or custody. i wanted 50/50 while she wanted everything or nothing. i got 50/50 but it took 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 02:43 PM
6

sounds about right…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 03:33 AM
3

i play on weekday afternoons. it’s like $30
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 03:24 AM
2

Because I can’t prove them… We did have her impounded at minimum wage full time but she makes more than that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 03:10 AM
9

my divorce cost me: $50,000 - attorney fees $58,000 - 401k payout $275,000 - house equity $20,000 - the mortgage and utilities i paid before the first support order. $12,000 - the car i gave her $9,000 - her credit cards i paid off and $2,200 a month for child support and alimony. it took me almost 3 years to get her and the boyfriend out of the house so i could sell it. she works under the table and hits me for every last dime. but i’m so glad to be rid of her. i get to play golf twice a week n…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 12:22 AM
1

what’s OF?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 11:04 PM
6

trust your heart. you deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 04:26 AM
39

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. don’t fall for it! you’re the rebound guy from her last guy. she will drop you as soon as something shiny comes along. if you’re still hung up on her, you haven’t done any work on yourself… please get some therapy. then go to the gym. start playing golf. eat better. quit drinking. dress nice and get a good hair cut. if you’re on top of your game a better girl will come along soon. also if you’re on top of your game, when that girl does come a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 02:04 AM
2

start learning about you… what did you used to do before you surrendered your life to a woman? start a band, get ripped at the gym, play golf 3 times a week, start a blog, join a yoga gym, go back to college, etc. turns out being an unattached adult it’s pretty fun. the pain will subside and you will learn to love the new you. side note: there are a lot of studies showing depression is related to your diet, so stay off the booze and eat a lot of veggies.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 01:18 PM
2

she is 100% entitled to claim the kids every year because she has the kids 60%. Don’t expect her to give you a freebie when she could get earned income credits worth thousands, possibly free food, rent assistance, free health care, etc. If she’s smart, she will get that $200 from you anyways without giving up anything. If you’re smart you will fight for equal joint legal and physical custody of your kids so that you always get to claim one. FYI ... Child support is based on a simple calculator t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 06:16 AM
1

I have been dating women on Sunday night through Wednesday night and care for my daughters from Thursday to Sunday evening. It's a 60/40 split and works out well for me since I work remotely on Fridays. Not having free weekends can be a drag sometimes but honestly, it weeds out the women who just want to party real quick. They won't stick around more than one or two dates which is fine. Don't introduce a woman to your kid for months to make sure they are a good fit. MY experience is that girls c…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 04:25 PM
1

I'm a devout atheist. So I hear you. It makes no sense. I'm just saying that it worked for me. I don't know why but thinking and saying "I wish my wife and her boyfriend the best. I want them to be happy, healthy and prosperous." every day changed my inner monologue of how much I hate her and wish he would get the plague for destroying my family. I am now able to think of her as I would a sick person. I wish her the best. Buddhists have a similar philosophy and meditation. Loving kindness medita…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/20 03:08 PM
3

This sounds crazy but it worked for me... If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, and their happiness, you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/20 05:54 AM
1

Let me try and recap this insanity... "My wife is a self-centered whore who is unable to say no any time she gets attention from the opposite sex. Although I haven't done a lot of self-reflection or therapy to fix my own attachment issues, I seem to have accidentally met a new girl who does not appear to be a self-centered whore. Should I go back to my wife?" The answer is a resounding no. You should get a therapist today and start working to understand why the thought of reconciliation would ev…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 03:09 PM
3

Sounds like a perfect place to be. Stop fighting. Surrender. Once you have lost everything, you can start building a new foundation for your new life. Add things you like. Shit can things you don't. Time takes time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/20 05:27 AM
9

Well I already am doing this for my ex so... I'm 39, married for 16, and two kids. She gets 65,000 to sit on her ass in my house with her boyfriend driving my Mercedes. Welcome to hell!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 09:27 PM
-1

hahaha you're so fucked! Get ready to give her 40% of your cash for life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 09:21 PM
3

The biggest thing to swallow and fully understand. You can't control how she acts. She's nuts. You can control how you act and respond to her crazy. Do not respond. Do not lash out. Do not react. I yelled at my ex for drinking and driving with the kids and she hit me with a domestic violence restraining order and tried to get protective custody of the kids. It took a couple of months and 20k in attorney fees to fix that little fuck up... Don't be like me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 09:19 PM
1

Oh brother! I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you wonder why you are still stuck on her? I have found counseling to be very helpful in identifying my attachment wounds and the causes of them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 03:24 PM
1

Time takes time... I'm on month 13. I thought I was going to die from heart break for the first 4. Now I wouldn't go back if you paid me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:11 PM
1

Give it a year... You're going to realize she's not even that good looking and probably was a real bitch to you for a decade. Honestly, I wouldn't even "swipe right" on my ex now and if I did by accident, when I realized shes an unemployed twice divorced housewife with 5 kids and a grand-daughter I would definitely pass on her. I can't even imagine what the fuck her 35 year old, never married, no kids boyfriend is doing with her. He must be a real winner...
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:06 PM
3

Death is easier. With death it's one and done. She loved you until the end... With divorce she keeps showing up once a week with her boyfriend driving my Mercedes and she takes a bunch of vacations with my money while I struggle to escape bankruptcy...
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:01 PM
1

That's wishful thinking... The women actually are happier now that we are gone. Most likely they got to stay in the house, they get kid-free weekends to party with their friends and Mr. Wonderful, and they are getting 30% to 50% of your after-tax income to do it with. Not only that, but their hormones have changed, they aren't in "find a man to nest with" mode anymore, they are pre-menopausal testosterone spiked "independent" women that have just "found themselves" for the first time. The women …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 06:05 PM
2

Welcome to Divorcelandia! Spend more time with your kids to reduce the support. Get a therapist to work with you on acceptance and stoicism.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/20 07:01 PM
5

Alcohol is a depressant. Full stop. If you are clinically depressed you should consider alcohol as dangerous as a loaded gun. At the beginning of my divorce, I was drinking a pint of vodka a night and still couldn't sleep. I was at the point of "maybe if I drive my car off a cliff the kids will still get life insurance money" as if my only good was providing a paycheck... I quit drinking Nov 6 2018 and things are better now. Send me a DM if you have a desire to stop drinking. There are people wh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/20 02:44 PM
1

Negotiating with BPD and narc women is a complete waste of time but be warned... They will use scorched earth tactics when pressed into a corner. I want 50% of our house, 50% of our kids, and 50% of our things. This is completely unreasonable to the ex because she won't get enough spousal support to live on without working. She wants me to "give" her the house and most of the time with the kids. We are over a year into litigation now. When she realized that I am not willing to give in, she made …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/20 02:44 PM
1

that is an interesting idea... I'm going to look into this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 03:31 PM
1

I changed jobs, moved down the street from my girls, and am fighting for 50% custody. My girls need me. Mom's a mess and the boyfriend is a prick.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 03:02 PM
3

Alcohol is a depressant. If you are already depressed, picking up a bottle is like pouring gas on a fire. 2 years sober here and depression is not a problem for me today.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 02:59 PM
1

My STBXW showed up 45 minutes late to the first day of soccer practice for my 10 y/o daughter drunk off her ass with the kids in the car. No explanation of where she was, who she was with, or how she got so messed up by 5pm on a Monday. I called the police on her for driving. The next day she threatened to call the cops on me and make up a DV charge as revenge. I left work and went home, grabbed my clothes, my guitars, the RV and left.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 02:40 PM
1

This... I'm $25k into fake DVRO land. MY ex is trying to pin domestic violence on me so she can move up north with her boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 05:00 PM
2

I'm waiting for over a year to get my ex out of the house. Court is backed up from COVID so mentally prepare yourself for a long multi-year drawn out 50k legal battle. She also made up a DV charge against me so even though I expected it and moved out last August to prevent it I'm still fighting a DV restraining order and my step kids are all lined up to falsely testify against me so they can stay in the house longer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 04:51 PM
1

two thoughts... you have to be served the restraining order before its 100% legit. you get one continuance by law. When you go tomorrow ask for a continuance so you can seek counsel. Push this off for two weeks or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/20 02:22 PM
1

BRO! I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you have a new lease on life. You're going to have a scar from this for a while and that's ok. It's ok to be sad. It's normal to be depressed. This is where you are, this is not who you are. That being said... Who are you? Who do you wish you were? What would that guy do? Why can't you do that? Redecorate your house. Make it a bachelor pad with YOUR things. Own your space. Own your style. Get some new clothes. Go get a fucking hair cut for fuck sake! …
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/20 03:56 PM
1

tread cautiously... I haven't seen my kids in a month because my STBXW is allegedly hiding in a DV shelter "afraid for her life". Weird... she didn't seem too concerned when she no-showed on Mothers Day morning, then showed up 7 hours late drunk. Now CPS is investigating me even though I haven't seen lived with her in 12 months, I don't talk to her, force her to only communicate through "talking parents" and have never been within 15 feet of her since the date of separation. Doesn't matter. Now …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/20 10:22 PM
2

Cops: "Is she drinking and driving right now?" Me: "No. This was a couple days ago. My kids just told me about it now." Cops: "You should call CPS." CPS: "This sounds like more of a court issue or a police issue than a CPS issue." Court: "Did you contact the police or CPS?" Me: "yes" Court: "Well they should have looked into the matter for you" Me: "yeah but they didn't" Court: "Ok, I"m going to order CPS to look into this". Me: "Good. Thank you" CPS: "So we are here to investigate you for domes…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/20 04:32 PM
3

I didn't even get to talk to or see my kids on Father's Day. My X broke the court rules and took them somewhere, didn't answer my phone calls or texts. She's filed a false temporary restraining order as well and feels like she can withhold contact now because shes "scared of me". I yelled at her once at a pickup for drinking and driving with the kids now I'm the bad guy. Be grateful for what you have. Attorney fees this month - $5800 Total so far: $21,000
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/20 02:30 PM
11

Here is the big secret... Concentrate on yourself first. The worst thing you can do is "meet a great girl" right now. That will end up with kids by 21. Working full time at a crappy job to get by. I wish someone would have told me this! I'm 39 and just wasted 20 years with a BPD woman that I wouldn't even swipe right on today. Now I get to pay her alimony for LIFE... You're not done with school. You're not done developing a career. Your hobbies aren't fully formed. The women you will attract rig…
/r/seduction22/06/20 03:00 PM
1

Mounting lion... Classic!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/20 02:33 PM
2

HAH No shit...
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/20 03:49 PM
7

You are 100% right on all aspects... After the incident, I came to terms with what you said by myself. I was in fact, wasting my time. Solidifying her weak opinion of me and giving her attorney ammo. I filled a report with CPS 30 minutes later and filed an emergency request for order with the court the following day. The court agreed to hear my case next Wednesday because of the serious nature of the allegations. We've been waiting on a court date since last August. So win or lose at least I gav…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/20 10:49 PM
13

Great post. So true. My STBXW says I was abusive for years... Complete horseshit. She recorded me talking sternly to her last week "You can not continue drinking and driving with the kids! If I hear about this again, I will be contacting CPS." Her attorney called mine later to say that they would be pursuing a restraining order for my verbal abuse and threats.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/20 02:34 PM
10

Just the way she is! My exwife was like that... "I have no idea why that man kissed me. I never gave him any indication I liked him or knew that he was interested in me". Oh really? Everybody else saw you playing with his hair and staring intently in his eyes... 20 years and several affairs later I would recommend staying away from the flirty girl that "isn't aware she is flirting" its a HUGE red flag. Desperately in need of male attention to the point that it's subconscious.
/r/seduction03/06/20 07:04 PM
2

90% of my first dates say something like "I had a really good time with you. I would love to go out with you again". 90% of the time this means "I'm going to smile, flirt and play with my hair for two hours to make you feel like I like you, but I'm going to go home and change my mind. You'll never see me again. I will probably ghost you or block you." It doesn't make any sense to me but this is the reality of online dating. There is such a lack of emotional investment with one person while simul…
/r/seduction02/06/20 02:55 PM
1

Of course the girl with the drinking problem says "yes"...
/r/seduction02/06/20 02:43 PM
1

She probably is having fun (probably with your money!) and you most certainly are stuck. It is normal and ok to be ANGRY, ANXIOUS, SAD, DEPRESSED, SLEEPLESS, RESTLESS, HOPELESS and BITTER. You are a lazy sack of shit right now and what are you going to do about it? Use your anger to get cut. Start lifting anything heavy you can find. Use the depressions to lose weight. I dropped 30 lbs while being too depressed to eat. Use the anxiety to drive you to get more security. Get a better job. Cut your…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/20 04:16 PM
1

When I got into my new apartment it was a big boost in morale. I was able to decorate it how I wanted it. Hang my guitars on the walls. keep fighting the good fight! things will get better. In a few months you will be like oh she’s really not that pretty. A few months after that you’ll be thinking about some other girl. Time takes time
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/20 01:48 AM
1

This is true. However, it's our own damn fault... Men love more heroically than women. Hense we are more willing to sacrifice our own needs for them. Work 12 hours a day so they can be well kept and fed? yup. Stop hanging out with the boys because you're married now? yup. Not making plans on the weekend because it's family time? sure. Look where this got you. Now you are alone with no tribe to support you while she's in your house with all your friends. Soon she will be planning parties to show …
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/20 03:06 PM
-2

FWB is great for women. Not so great for men. You will probably start getting the feels for her because she's your only plate. Meanwhile, shes banging 5 other guys, some guys the same day as you. If your cool being cuckolded by her then by all means keep seeing her otherwise find someone who actually values your time.
/r/seduction31/05/20 02:38 PM
2

Law 34: Be royal in your own fashion. Act like a king to be treated like one
/r/seduction31/05/20 04:00 AM
3

My X makes me go through a recorded phone app any time I want to talk to the kids.She reviews it later to make sure I didn't say anything wrong to them! Good times. Remind yourself that this is temporary. Stay on the high road. At some point your children will choose who they want to live with. If you are acting right for this whole time you WILL get them back. The kids aren't stupid. They know who is putting in the time. Join groups like /r/Stoicism/ to deal with the anxiety and pain.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/20 09:51 PM
2

It won't but don't do it again. Don't make threatening statements. Or aggressive moves or you will end up with a restraining order which, even if it does happen isnt a big deal. Just don't do anything stupid. Dont make the judge feel bad for her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/20 09:37 PM
3

never made love with me. But she claims she had two abortions. Can I try for annulment? What does it take to try for annulment? Again... this all hurts but does not matter. What does matter is that "you hit her" and she is scared of you and blah blah. Get ready to pay some (not much) money to her for a year or two. I pay thousands a month to my ex wife so she can live in my house with her boyfriend but we have two kids and were married for 16 years. It hurts but there's nothing to do but move on…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/20 05:34 PM
2

lolol > I need someone to tell me this daily.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/20 05:23 PM
3

Nobody talks about fight club! This is truth. It's like trying to explain color to a blind person.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/20 05:14 PM
6

None of this information matters at all. If you were married in CA, the only thing they will look at is: How much money you make, how much does she make? What do you own as "community property"? What do you owe? How long you were married? They put this in a calculator and it spits out a number like "you owe her $1200 a month for 2.3 years". Get an attorney to help you with filing for some one who is not in the country.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/20 05:03 PM
1

Status quo... She got the car she was already primarily driving. I got the old Jeep, the Prius for commuting, and the motorhome. He drives it because its nicer than his car and he's a little fucking douche.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/20 04:53 PM
6

Haha mine just told me that "I don't control her anymore" because I asked her if she could start showing up on time for her pick up days. Here's a good read on dark triad women. https://illimitablemen.com/2014/02/17/lucifers-daughter/
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/20 10:59 PM
3

Craigslist... I'm in the same boat with my tools. Just buying them from scratch a piece at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/20 08:37 PM
19

MGK looks like he's a real prick...
/r/TheRedPill19/05/20 07:32 PM
2

Get a lawyer, they can work with you in ghost mode until the ex lawyers up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 04:02 PM
2

a small Cessna is only like $30,000. more expensive models are $100k. My jeep and motorhome are easily comparable.
/r/TheRedPill17/05/20 09:50 PM
2

Sometimes you're not going to get a kiss on date 1 and that's ok. In my opinion, a secure man with many options doesn't need to rush anything. I try to make my first dates informal coffee or lunch dates so I'm not trapped into paying for expensive meals and if I've been catfished or don't like the girl I can cut it short. However, date 2 should be a more formal affair. She's already met you and accepted to meet again which says she's interested in you sexually. This second date should end in som…
/r/seduction14/05/20 05:52 AM
1

You have such a long road in front of you... This is going to get much harder before it gets easier. Start following the /r/marriedredpill reddit group. You sound weak. Like a victim. And maybe you are... You are also a man. You need to get strong. You need to show your son how to be a man. Get out of your head! Get a therapist. Get exercise. Get healthy. Get a hobby. Get friends. Get a life. Move out. Move on. Get new stuff. Build a life that you love.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 05:40 PM
3

My wife filed for divorce in August 2019. We have not been to court yet because of one postponement (judge was sick Jan25) and COVID19 cancelling the second court date (May 5). My STBXW would not give me any of her tax papers for her real estate agent job. No 1099s, no mileage logs, business expenses, no receipts. As the primary income earner (Me 180k / her 15k), I ended up filing single head of household and claiming the two kids because we lived apart for 6 months of the 2019 year (a requireme…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 05:30 PM
6

You just described the definition of female solipsism. Solipsism is the theory that only the self is real and that the self cannot be aware of anything else except itself. An example of solipsism is the idea that nothing matters except yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 05:12 PM
4

Be open to the suggestion that you are the exception, not the rule. ;)
/r/seduction13/05/20 05:04 PM
-9

But if you ever finally meet and he has a micropenis... All attraction POOF gone! Or maybe he only can get off if you dress up like his mom, call him a bad boy, and give him spankings. People are really weird sexually so I wouldn't invest too much into any one person before meeting with your real sexual organs... How do they kiss? Is it all tongue, are they too fast, too slow, eat your face? Are they comfortable with their body, do they panic being naked, do the pieces even fit together??? Nothi…
/r/seduction13/05/20 03:58 PM
1

Mine started talking about pressing fake DV charges on me and she's crazy enough to fall downstairs or slam her face into a wall so I split as soon as she started down that path. The house was not worth years of supervised visitation, restraining orders, or a trip to the pokey.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 03:39 PM
1

Donald Rumsfeld — 'You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time" Get ready for the fight of your life. A fight for your life. Sparta! She is not your wife any more. She is not even your friend. The reality is that she made the decision to leave the relationship a long time ago. While you have been busy working, providing, and caring for your family, she has been vetting your replacement. Weighing the pros and cons of swapping you out for each …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 03:06 PM
7

The point being that she was sitting in my lap making out with me on the way to my room when she told me this And she laughed at the pilot and his willingness to fly her to the mountains in exchange for nothing.
/r/TheRedPill12/05/20 11:39 PM
6

Count yourself as lucky it's only been a year!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 09:59 PM
1

It will get worse as you get older... Now that I'm in my late 30s the 50s something women will literally stop what they are doing to watch me walk by! Hilarious. Give them a wink and a nod to make their day.
/r/seduction12/05/20 08:59 PM
42

i’m just repeating what she said... she could be lying. he could be an old ass man. i have no idea. either way the idea of this blew my mind. I went to Embry-Riddle aeronautical university for engineering. All my room-mates are professional pilots now. When we were in school none of these guys was getting laid. At a minimum, knowing how to fly a Cessna does not make you top gun.
/r/TheRedPill12/05/20 07:48 PM
5

Stay strong!!! This child is innocent of the crimes of his mother and needs a strong male role model. Block her out of your mind. Do your time. Show up when you are supposed to show up. Be present for your son. He will need you to show him how to be a man. Do not let him repeat your mistakes. Teach him how to Alpha. Never quit. Never give up. Lift weights. Get swagger. It's going to take some time but all my friends growing up ended up moving in with dad at the first legal opportunity. This is a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 06:30 PM
35

It hurts worse to send her 35% of my salary every month so she can be unemployed and bang her BF in my house. NEVER let a woman not work for herself...
/r/TheRedPill12/05/20 03:42 PM
63

My ex wife would always find a way to flirt with her boss. Two of them even kissed her to her "horror" so I told her to stay home and not work. She would always be the last girl at a party so I tried to not let her go to parties alone and would make her leave when I was ready to go. None of it did any good. I would wake up in the middle of the night on camping trips and find her 4 sites over with a group of men. She cheated with the 60-year-old alpha next door even though she was 34. She cheated…
/r/TheRedPill12/05/20 02:53 PM
3

The last three lines! yes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 02:39 PM
8

This is going to take time... Be patient with yourself. Here's the solution: Body: Eat right. Stop drinking. Lift weights until you cant. Run. Emotion: Get a therapist and find what your part in the failure was. It's there... Soul: Get a support group. Family, friends, meetups, AA, whatever. Find your tribe. Mind: Start learning. Learn about gender dynamics. Learn about divorce. About the red pill. Go back to school. Get a purpose. Get a passion. Remember this: by Rollo Tomassi Hypergamy doesn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 03:00 PM
1

It's hard because a man's identity is tied to things he's built and made. A wife and family are part of this identity so losing it is like a part of you dying. The anxiety and depression are real and need to be taking seriously. What worked for me when I was in your shoes was this: Quit drinking completely! Alcohol is a depressant. If you are clinically depressed you should avoid alcohol like its a loaded gun. If you were a daily drinker for 10 years like me it takes months to recalibrate the ch…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/20 04:34 PM
2

Sounds like a real mind fuck... Maybe her fling isn't working out. Mine went around the toilet bowl of maybe she loves me, maybe she don't for 3 years before I finally had enough and walked out. But before I did she got me to upgrade all the appliances in the house, new couches, new paint, new washer/drier, new bedroom set, and of course "if I loved her I would buy her a new car". The whole time she had her side piece spinning and waiting. Don't fall into her trap. If it's not a "fuck yes!" its …
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/20 09:39 PM
1

Do yourself a favor. Go get a good therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/20 03:45 PM
5

OMG... you should have done this yesterday!!! Your finances will implode regardless. Accept and embrace this fact. Private school is over, done, and gone. The house needs to be sold ASAP. Your STBXW is not the woman you fell in love with or even your friend anymore. She is a hostile business partner in a bankrupt company. Liquidate all assets. Declare BK if you have to and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 07:28 PM
7

Soooo you are working all day while she day drinks and gets high with the maintenance man and you are wondering if you should try harder to be the man she wants? Join the married redpil reddit and start taking back your manhood before its too late. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ My wife did the same thing, except she threw in a "if you loved me you would buy me a new mercedes, new furniture for the house, all new appliances and a bedroom set" before I realized that the "maintenance man…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 04:21 PM
6

Sir, it sounds like you are stuck in self-pity... While it's normal and I spend a fair amount of time there too. The truth is that it's so amazing that shes being nice. My ex started threatening to make up DV charges against me when I decided to get the hell out of the house. Things have gotten progressively worse from there. Time to take ownership of your life and situation however crappy it may be. Use this sadness as fuel for the fire. Get angry! Go lift weights! Refuse to be taken advantage …
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 08:03 PM
8

I feel like unless you are severely misaligned mentally you pretty accurately know that something isn't right. Save yourself the money and start immediately following https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ She might change her mind about you once you Alpha up... Most likely she won't but you will have more strength of mind and build habits and trains of thought to make you stronger regardless. Women aren't like men, they make a decision to move on typically many months before they actually do.…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/20 06:32 PM
2

me too... time takes time
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/20 08:05 PM
3

God, I wish my ex would leave the country... Count your blessings man!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/20 05:53 PM
1

I'm truly sorry brother. Document it but realize that probably nobody is going to care. Welcome to Divorcelandia. This is par for the course... Also look forward to things like: When she starts telling everyone you know that you have been emotionally and physically abusive to her for years and that she almost "lost herself"... When she moves the guy she was cheating on you with for 3 years into your house and throws parties with your money to introduce Mr. Wonderful to all the people who were yo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 04:52 PM
0

shitty shit is the shittiest of shits
/r/seduction11/04/20 04:51 AM
1

Seeing things - Black Crowes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm-uAY05LJg
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 04:34 AM
5

OMG Yes! Rediscover yourself! Who were you before you got married? What did that guy like to do? I played guitar and drove around in an old jeep with no doors. *Poof* I have a jeep with no doors and 4 guitars now! Improve your image! Quit drinking and smoking. Work out and get cut. Get some new fancy clothes. It matters. It will improve your self-esteem and women will start noticing you too. Have fun! Turns out there are unlimited single women to date, romance and have adult fun with. Now that t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 09:50 PM
2

I'm in the same position with the added bonus that my ex filed for forbearance on my home's mortgage while moving her boyfriend into my house too. About the boyfriend moving in, I always wonder... am I upset angry because there is actual harm to my children or is it only my ego that is being hurt? Most of the time if I'm really honest, it's my ego being stepped on by a completely trashy woman who threw everything I ever worked and gave her in the trash for a guy who now drives around in my Merce…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 06:15 PM
2

yeah. Time takes time. I'm at 16 months since seperation and the divorce is on hold until further notice from the court... Meanwhile she lives in my nice big house with the guy she was cheating on me for years with, doesn't work and basically just replaced me which stings. I work my ass off to barely break even while she parties and has fun all day. I pay her thousands a month and have a tiny apartment. Good news?? I still have my jeep and my RV. I have my guitars and have never been in this goo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 02:19 AM
6

Divorce is harder than death. If it was death, I could grieve her and be done with it... You should think about going to therapy. It's been very helpful to me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/20 10:56 PM
2

The divorce being on pause has been brutal for me too! I have been waiting since last July for a court date and was hoping to force the sale of my house to get my lying cheating wife and her boyfriend out of there in May so I can get out of my tiny humility apartment and move on with life. Now the divorce is on pause indefinitely and the house is probably going to lose half of its equity by next fall when I might be able to get a court date. I feel for you being stuck in the same house. My crazy…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/20 08:37 PM
1

Be grateful... My court case is postponed indefinitely! I was hoping to force the sale of my house, get more visitation of my kids and reduce my support/alimony payments. Now I have to wait probably until next fall just to see the judge for the first time. She filed last Summer and has the boyfriend living with her in my house driving around in my Mercedes.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 06:15 PM
8

This is temporary... When the kids are old enough (like 6) put facebook messenger on their tablets and they will start video calling you when they are bored. When they are older (like 10) get them their own cell phone and cut her out of the loop. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/20 07:01 PM
1

Also /r/theredpill is good group... Time to unplug. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2q582c/a_comprehensive_guide_to_the_red_pill/
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 05:17 PM
2

buy once he could get preferred shares and it was clear they wouldn't be on the hook for all of the Countryw I had BofA at $4.50, couldn't keep my shit and sold when it dropped to $2.85. Buffet isn't playing the same game as you and I. His preferred shares paid 10% dividends regardless of what the ticker price was. The game is rigged to the house.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/20 04:27 PM
1

Oh so she doesn't see you as the source of sexual gratification anymore... Yeah you're in trouble. Fuck her... Completely ignore her ass and start lifting weights in the back yard. Join the reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ Start reading about gender dynamics. There's a reason she sees you as a beta. When she sees you not needing or wanting her, getting stronger and not giving a shit she will beg for your attention. Don't fall for it. It's a trap! She already showed you her colors…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 04:10 PM
10

Be careful with medications. Feelings are there for a reason. Numbing them doesn't make them go away. Please talk to your doctor first about this! Xanax made me suicidal. Celexa made me see flashes of light. I'm drug-free and in a much better place now but it took time. Also, Alcohol is a depressant. If you are feeling depressed you should avoid it at all costs. In order to survive my divorce, I have had to quit drinking completely since 2018. The feelings of anxiety and depression will graduall…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 03:12 PM
2

Wow did we marry the same woman???
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/19 08:33 PM
1

If you drink alcohol, quit! You really have no idea how much it brings you down until you’re 100% sober for a few months.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/19 04:25 PM
1

lol yeah i quit drinking last november!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/19 11:38 PM
1

i was in it for the first 3 months but need to get rooms ready for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/19 11:37 PM
2

I’m 25lbs down... at my high school senior weight. doesn’t help i started running a couple miles a day.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 09:18 PM
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