TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

cupieheart Archive

View 8 posts and 81 comments by cupieheart on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I see. So you think it’s best to use compliments during time of tensions to diffuse any anger
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 07:02 PM
3

I actively try and do those things because I know men need admiration. It seems like when I’m happy and thriving and in a great mental place, we have way less problems. But when I’m anxious or stressed, we’re way more prone to these fights. Which makes total sense but I’m struggling with the fact that no one is happy and thriving 100% of the time. I feel like I have to be a certain way or else out relationship isn’t great. So that’s also me taking accountability for my side of the street. But as…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 04:06 PM
3

You really have to pour the sugar on these men 24/7. It seems like men really thrive off of compliments and admiration. Noted!
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 04:00 PM
2

Do you have any advice on where to go from here? Is there anything I can do as a wife to help this situation?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 03:55 AM
9

Thanks so much for the advice. I’ll try to remember and implement all of that, might even come back to read it again tomorrow. I do like what you said about the fact that he resents his job, not me. He’s just taking it out on me. That gives me better clarity that I can work with. That last one about hugging when he starts to go off about his job is SO HARD. Because it’s almost like I feel this Pavlovian response of my heart closing, because I’m just anticipating the hurt of it all.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 03:46 AM
2

I agree, I think he does need to find a new job. I might gently suggest it to him once when the time is right, but I don’t want to get overly involved. I turn he needs to find that for himself. I really don’t think me working full time would solve it either. Sure we would have more money, but then we would both be stressed and I’d have to give up on my creative work. The only possible reason I would get a full time would be if I had to leave, but again I really don’t want to. Damn, that post you…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 03:41 AM
3

I have tried talking to him about it, but it only ever ends in arguments. He basically says “I never said any of that” or stops telling me to take it so personally. I do try not to take it personally but when he gets really mad at me, it does seem very directed at me. I should’ve put this in the post, but he isn’t coping well with it. He does work from home half the week, but has started smoking weed every single day. I asked him to please cut back to smoking just on the weekends and he snapped …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 10:45 PM
2

Do you mean I would say that to him?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 09:47 PM
1

That makes so much sense, thanks! I’m not on TikTok but I follow a lot of polarity/feminine energy podcasters (my favorite is Connie Chapman.) I also have something to add, that mainstream feminism wants women in the workforce no matter what. But that’s the most capitalist thing ever. So it’s basically forcing women to become wage slaves
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 06:13 PM
16

This is going to be a long post, but please bare with me!! I went through something very similar as you and am on the other side. So I think I can help you. First of all, in my situation, my husband is a VERY picky eater with lots of food aversions. He also has generally a small appetite. On the other hand, I’m an extremely adventurous eater and loooove cooking and eating. It’s like a love language to me, lol. I’ve also been told by so many people that I’m an amazing cook, I just have a knack fo…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 04:03 PM
1

I was moreso thinking about outer beauty (and even personally) when it comes to the wall. For example, I don’t drink or party at all and live and active life. I also make sure to avoid any kind of cynicism and keep a childlike spirit. That sort of thing. Tbh I wasn’t really considering fertility because my husband and I don’t want children 😅 so I forgot about that factor. But if a woman wants children, she better start thinking about it in her early 20’s unlike what the culture says. Not only th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/22 11:57 PM
9

I will probably get downvoted because I know in TRP they believe in the wall, but I really don’t. IF ANYTHING it would be much later in life, around 50. I think the notion that it happens at 30 is ridiculous, as I’m in my late 20’s and this is the prettiest I’ve ever been. I’m also much more sociable, happy, and pleasant to be around. I can only see that getting better as I go into my 30’s. And for context, I was an awkward ugly duckling up until now. I also think the wall has more to do with th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/22 09:21 PM
1

Oooooh please explain more how you have found RP arguments sound like feminism! Literally no one in my life knows I’m RP, but these values have made me happier than I’ve ever been!
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/22 04:19 PM
1

Thank you I will!
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:32 PM
1

Yesss. Grey rock them to boredom. That’s what my new approach is
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:31 PM
1

Basically what I’ve been doing is to be “friends” with these people but verrry loosely, like I one dimensional friendship. And basically I don’t hang out with them outside of whatever project we’re working on. I do have friends outside these circles, but would love to meet more likeminded people.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:29 PM
1

Wow thanks! I’ll definitely try that. It would be great to make friends that share my views
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:26 PM
1

I like your approach of working with other artistic people, but not necessarily befriending them. I also have friends outside of that circle which I’m grateful for. And I’m going to keep cultivating friendships that aren’t liberal artists. Luckily for me, I also don’t depend on it full time… but I used to. And let me tell you, being surrounded by that all the time was soooo demoralizing. I felt like I had to have a shell on 24/7. But sense I’m now married and at home, I just do it all for for fu…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:25 PM
2

“Vulnerable to your deferment” wow that’s such a great perspective to look at it! And you’re right… they would destroy me for it. I’m going to remember this advice, it’s golden.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:20 PM
1

That’s great advice, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 03:12 PM
15

Thanks for sharing your experience! I think in performing art communities wokeness is wayyy more intense. Because it draws that kind of person into it who literally thinks their life is a Broadway show. Actually, this is one of the reasons I refuse to work in the arts full time. I just can’t take it, I need a mental break from everyone’s PC drama.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 08:42 PM
5

I guess I worded it incorrectly then, but the type of art I do is very important to me. Cooking and cleaning fulfills me, but I also believe in self care and that we need other things to focus on as housewives in order to feel accomplished. And to make ourselves happy as Laura Doyle says. But that’s besides the point. Anyway, I’ve basically been taking the same strangely as you other than politely explaining my views… I mostly just shut my mouth and don’t say anything.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:06 PM
19

It’s not that I care what they think about me per se, more that I get the “ick” feeling when people go on feminist rants because I feel it’s morally corrupt. And I hate to be associated with it. But I basically have to keep my mouth shut or get cancelled, for lack of a better word. So basically an internal conflict
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:03 PM
27

Because I literally earn only a couple hundred month and just perform on the side. Definitely couldn’t support myself off that. I take the homemaker role and my husband is the provider. Housewives can have side passions, and most do.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:37 PM
3

Laura Doyle’s advice is largely for micromanaging, type A, anxiously attached women. She’s teaching us that it’s okay if your husband makes a mistake… and it’s not our job to correct him or guide him. He’s a grown man, he can figure things out that are on HIS paper. Here’s a perspective I haven’t seen in the comments yet: by “helping” your husband, you’re mommying him. And that’s a slippery slope, because no one is attracted to their sons or mothers lol. So in doing so, you’re destroying the int…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 04:09 PM
0

It’s about 50/50. He tends to start the fights when he’s stressed with work or has too much on his plate, and I tend to start them when I have bad PMS or am going through insomnia/stress. I absolutely hate fighting. It makes me physically sick. I can’t eat or sleep when it happens. I think my attachment style is anxious attachment so it’s hard for me to walk away from an argument without feeling preoccupied with the thought of it all day. So I want to work it out and resolve it. But I know that …
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 02:26 AM
2

Absolutely and just to clarify I’m in now way calling my own husband a beta
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 02:22 AM
3

Wow you really made some great strides, especially without coaching! I feel like I keep making steps in the right direction but then backsliding which makes me think the skills don’t work. Overall my life is much better than pre skills and I just feel so much better in myself. But I still have trouble here and there. I wish I could get a coach but unfortunately I’m not in a place to do that at the moment
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 02:21 AM
4

I see what you mean. I’ve only been married just over a year. So I can’t imagine what I would do if any of that happened. But I can see how someone who’s been married for 20+ years and is financially dependent/an SAHM would have difficulty leaving
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 09:32 PM
6

I just went through your post history. I’m so glad your marriage is doing a lot better. From reading what you said, it seems like: 1) you used to struggle with emotional regulation 2) you used to complain a lot Two things I can relate to. Especially the first one. Do you think you got better with emotional regulation? Im going to take accountability and say I think part of the reason for our petty fights is my struggle with regulating my emotions. ESPECIALLY when I have PMS or didn’t sleep well.…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 09:31 PM
1

I do have a job… it’s just one I do independently, I don’t have coworkers
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 03:26 AM
2

Do you really think it would lead to divorce? Why would that be? That’s my biggest fear…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 03:25 AM
1

Ahhh okay. I hope it all works out for you. It’s good you’re still in the dating phase because you can see if he comes through…. he may surprise you but at least you have options if it doesn’t work out
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 08:08 PM
1

Are you married to this person or just in the dating phase?
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:46 PM
6

He is a good man. That I know. I do love Laura Doyle and her skills have helped me immensely. But it’s so hard when I’m in such a low place. If I felt more secure (financially and safer in my home) it would be easier to follow the skills. But it’s hard to want to do self care when I’m so afraid of being one emergency away from a disaster and my husband doesn’t see this
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:46 PM
9

I’m a HUGE Ramsey fan and actually that’s how I’ve paid off most of my debt. I can’t vouch enough for him. Unfortunately my husband doesn’t like him and Ramsey has become the dreaded cuss word in our house….
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:44 PM
3

I should have clarified. Basically when he got this job, he told me he would be making in the $45-50k/year range. He’s only making about $30k. He also said he would pick up more clients and continue with that (I don’t want to go into much detail on what he does.) but lately he has been losing clients and not replacing them, they move away or whatever. So it’s a double whammy with him not asking for a raise and losing clients. So before he started losing clients I got a new job in hopes that it w…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:40 PM
11

In this case, I’d recommend seeing what you can “outsource.” What I mean by that is buy baked goods instead of making them yourself. Buy a drier instead of hanging your clothes on a line. Shop at the cheapest grocery store instead of going to a few to get the best deal. So maybe don’t shun convenience altogether. That way you have more time to do all the chores if that’s what you want! Next, I’d recommend talking to your man about what his expectations are of you. In my example, I was pushing my…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 06:58 PM
43

You don’t have to make 3 meals. I think the mistake I made as a homemaker in the beginning was pushing myself too hard. I would get up, make my husbands breakfast, pack his lunch, and make his dinner. I’d also push myself to bake everything from scratch and coupon and keep the house SPOTLESS. Tbh after I while I realized that by packing his lunch and managing what we do with our money, I was “mommying” him which is very unsexy… and he didn’t even ask me to do all of those things! You’re role is …
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 05:24 PM
1

I second this! The changes from implementing Laura Doyle’s advice won’t happen overnight so you need to be patient but it definitely works if you focus on it!
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 10:45 PM
1

I have been married for a year and have been in and out of the workforce. I quit my stressful job to be a housewife at the very beginning but would sometimes pick up gigs (super part time) There was a stretch of maybe 6 months where I wasn’t working at all and just being a housewife. Sense then I’ve started working part time. Does it make me any less of a Christian or traditional woman because I work part time instead of not at all? I’d like to think not; being traditional is about where your fo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/22 11:21 PM
1

Thank you so so much for this lovely advice! I love how you frame things in a positive light- I feel like a lot of advice on boundaries can come off as “snippy” (example: “This topic is not up for discussion.”) and I was really looking for a way to do this yet still be kind. I love the advice about prayer too. I will need to pray more and worry less!
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/22 06:57 PM
1

That’s true. I’m blessed that my family is very close but sometimes they’re “too close” if you know what I mean… (all up in each other’s business.) So what I’ve learned is to mostly just tell them the good stuff in my life and leave the bad. And keep a healthy distance. Lastly, don’t accept too much from them because it gives them more control over my life
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 02:36 PM
1

I agree with this comment, that teaching by Laura Doyle definitely had me scratching my head. Instead of setting boundaries she recommends pointing out the good someone does or speaking what you want then to do (if someone is controlling praise how much freedom they give you to manifest that.) Which is okaaaayy but also can lead to you being a doormat. But like I said I really don’t need to set boundaries with my husband. I might occasionally but nothing serious. It’s more my family/the workplac…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 02:32 PM
1

I love the idea of responding to serious, invasive questions with a little joke. It protects my privacy and redirects the energy. Like I just KNEW if I responded honestly and said no I don’t want kids, it would have sent my grandpa into a “you millennials don’t have family values anymore” rant and I’d have to explain how I can’t afford children due to student debt and housing prices, etc. which is a HUGE blackpill for me. It’s also no one’s business. So THANK YOU! How would you recommend respond…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 02:28 PM
3

It just seems like he lacks perception or something to know what you need. If you state your desire and he just says “me too,” he isn’t being sensitive to your needs. Honestly I don’t think this guy is captain material.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 02:50 PM
13

LD recommends “I can’t” when someone asks you to do something that would drain you. Try expressing a pure desire instead. “I would love….” and then insert the thing you most want. It’s up to him if he chooses to give it to you or not
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/22 02:29 PM
3

Sure! So my husband and I are pretty busy people. My husband is a social person and my side of the family is pretty close so we see friends and family a lot. We are also both very creative people and although my husband works a regular full time job, our lives center around being creative. On any given day, I will wake up and do a few hours of writing for my blog. I will also do some painting and some choreography which usually takes me into the afternoon. Then I get ready for the day and either…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 02:06 PM
2

There is a part of me that believes they might envy me in a way but I haven’t entertained that thought too much… so it is definitely a possibility
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 01:14 PM
3

I wish this were true but the oddest thing happened when I became a housewife…. my conservative Christian family started criticizing me. My mom would make passive aggressive digs at me for “not working” (even though I’m running the household.) Some of the people who criticized me are pretty actively anti-feminist too. But I also don’t have kids and feel it’s only “acceptable” in our society to be a housewife if you’re an SAHM. Needless to say, I’ve had to distance myself from my family a bit. I …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:34 PM
3

Sort of but also for practice. For example, I’m trying to teach myself how to use false lashes to look very natural as I never have before, and my lashes are sooo short. So instead of waiting for a date night or an important event I just tried it at the grocery store first to make sure they didn’t look completely crazy hahaha
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 12:35 AM
5

It really is. Side note, I use grocery store day as my “practice day.” It’s a public place but casual enough that you can get away with trying new things. So if I’m trying a new hairstyle, I’ll try it on grocery day before I try it on a night out. If I’m experimenting with fake lashes, I’ll wear them on grocery day. Then by the time I have a night out, I’m well practiced enough 😉
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/22 02:12 PM
29

Honestly if you’re very well groomed, fit, polished, have a clothing style that is flattering and feminine, and actually take the time to do your hair and makeup you will be ahead of most people. That might feel overwhelming at first but I’d suggest watching some femininity YouTubers who go into more detail on this (Mrs. Midwest and Cynthia L are my favorites.) I believe anyone can stand out if they’re at a healthy weight and their styling is the most flattering to them. You don’t have to be bor…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 08:05 PM
1

That’s what we’re going to do, message Pearl who’s comment is pinned at the top 😊
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:18 PM
1

That’s okay you can still join. Message Pearl who’s comment is pinned at the top for the telegram thread
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:18 PM
1

Yes, message Pearl who’s comment is pinned at the top for the Telegram thread!
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:17 PM
1

Join the telegram (message Pearl for it) I’ve actually dealt with the same thing so I can help you! Or DM me and I’ll share my story and what I did
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:12 PM
1

That sounds like a great idea but I don’t know that I can commit to being a mod, why not message Pearl who is creating a telegram for us and we’ll all join there?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:11 PM
12

I agree that it does have a grain of truth to it, but those words are thrown around constantly and usually to bash the man in the relationship. Just look at any other relationship subreddit. They automatically accuse the man of [insert buzzword] and encourage the woman to leave without advocating for her to look in the mirror. The example I was thinking of when I wrote this post was when I was talking to a close friend about our marriages. I expressed frustration on how my husband isn’t an adven…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 07:55 PM
1

Thank you so much for saying that! It’s definitely a work in progress. Are you a coach?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 11:47 PM
1

It sounds amazing but I heard somewhere it’s like $15k to become a coach 😬 however I’d love to join a surrendered circle somewhere…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 01:45 PM
1

It sounds amazing but I heard somewhere it’s like $15k to become a coach 😬 however I’d love to join a surrendered circle somewhere…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 01:43 PM
1

It sounds amazing but I heard somewhere it’s like $15k to become a coach 😬 however I’d love to join a surrendered circle somewhere…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 01:43 PM
3

How old are you that it’s too late to find someone and settle down, if you don’t mind me asking?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 12:21 AM
1

We do keep shared finances 😊 I’ve done all these things despite the advice I’ve gotten to keep them separate. And my husband is wonderful and we really do view it as our money. I’m so glad you have the same. I can’t imagine trying to have a 50/50 marriage or not sharing finances. I wouldn’t feel taken care of at all. It would only harbor suspicion and resentment. What’s the point of even being married if you’re living like roommates???
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:54 PM
1

That’s so true. Unfortunately with certain family members I can’t disagree with them or else they fly off the handle (crazy, I know) so I basically just nod and try to change the subject. So it’s definitely means to control me and all I can do is keep a healthy distance
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:50 PM
1

Thanks for this thoughtful response. I’ll definitely check out Fascinating Womanhood. I’ve heard good things about it. I’m always open to podcast, blog, book, or YT channel suggestions
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:48 PM
2

Luckily we can talk about this stuff. As long as I’m not too intense or political about it, it goes well. We sometimes joke together about pitfalls of feminism in a more lighthearted way
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:47 PM
2

Wow I never noticed how much better my husband responds to me doing feminine activities. For example, I’m also interested in the stock market/investing but my husband responds much better when I talk about my feminine hobbies such as art. I think he feels he needs to be the one doing the investing and it’s not my job to teach him about it
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:44 PM
2

That’s so true. Me saying “we’re equal in value” might have been too much of a blanket statement. This is actually an important train of thought to go down if you think about a lot of the arguments many modern day couples have. For example, splitting chores. Many women expect their husbands to automatically put on an apron like them and do an equal amount of chores while the woman acts like a career woman (trying to be equal to her husband) but the truth is, that will only lead to resentment as …
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:42 PM
2

Thanks for the encouragement!
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:46 PM
4

Interesting perspective. I think when it comes to that I don’t believe men and women need to be completely equal, because we’re so different. However I do think we hold the same value. I think men and women are complimentary to one another but not “equal” as in we don’t have the same roles, physiology, abilities, etc. Wow that was a really deep question that made me think!
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:46 PM
1

LOVE those podcasts! I also picked up The Empowered Wife today by Laura Doyle. I can’t wait to read it. Do you have any other podcast suggestions?
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:42 PM
2

That’s great advice. I’m also being conscious of the way I act so I don’t revert to the way I’ve seen family members treat each other growing up.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:41 PM
1

Good for you for escaping from that and doing what it is you wanted for yourself. I get what you mean by reverting to old behaviors- I will literally catch myself mid thought of something from my “man bashing” upbringing and have to stop myself. It’s horrible! But I am distancing myself from the nay sayers and spending a lot less time with them. I’ve also stopped telling people who I know disagree with the traditional lifestyle about my own life. Why set myself up for disappointment? Also, when …
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:40 PM
4

Great advice I’ll try to be more mindful of what I watch. Unfortunately it is very pervasive and hard to get away from
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:31 PM
3

Are they really banned? Or did the moderators close it down for maintenance?? Let me know. Let’s hope it’s the former!
/r/AntiFeminists28/04/22 05:06 PM
6

I personally look more feminine with shorter hair, as someone who has been on both sides of the coin. When my hair was long, (past brastrap length and even waist length) it dragged me down. I’m very petite, my body and my face, and it was just too much hair. The hair itself looked scraggly no matter how well I treated it and it looked thin because of how heavy it was. I recently got my hair cut just above the shoulders and feel more feminine than ever. I think the key is to make sure you have ha…
/r/RedPillWives23/04/22 09:16 PM
18

I’ve been obsessed with Mrs. Midwest sense the beginning of 2020. She transformed my outlook on relationships and women’s roles in society. She taught me that’s it’s okay to want to be a homemaker and you’re not weak for embracing femininity. I grew up with so much feminist rhetoric shoved down my throat. It still affects my life to be honest, like a poison, but I’m overcoming it. But when I started watching MMW, I went from believing being a housewife is oppressive to women to wanting to be one…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/22 10:41 PM
3

That’s very true. I am pretty much traditional except for the kids thing but understand that’s a big factor in it for most people. But I do know there is value in trad wife children or not!
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 12:06 AM
6

I would say I’m about 60% trad and 40% modern. Trad aspects: I got married recently and am in my mid 20’s. Im a Christian. I work part time from home so I do the majority of the housework. I do consider myself a housewife sense my income is only supplemental to my husbands, and he’s the breadwinner. I cook nearly every night and like to bake as well. I am into traditional femininity and enjoy presenting very femininely. Modern aspects: I’m college educated. I used to be a staunch feminist in col…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/22 08:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter